6 Thoughts
1) Standard-issue home win for Miami against mediocre-to-poor Philadelphia. That's six in a row at home for Miami, now 35-32 overall, and a three game lead on Chicago, who now sits in ninth, out of the playoffs. It warrants mentioning that in the last eight games of the season, Philadelphia is the best team, record-wise, that Miami will play. Tough week ahead: San Antonio, Orlando, Charlotte - just have to keep plugging away.
2) Best player in the game: Dwyane Wade, easily. Had 38 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 steals. There is nothing wrong with the Sixers supporting cast: Iguodala, Dalembert, Lou Williams, and Thaddeus Young are all contributors, and Jrue Holliday looks like a promising rookie. The problem is, there is no one for them to support - in games like this one, Miami, whose supporting cast is arguably less skilled than that group, has Dwyane Wade, and that often is enough...
3) Most interesting thing that happened: Early in the third quarter Jermaine O'Neal got an offensive rebound, turned to the rim, and got popped in the face by a lunging Elton Brand (more on him at #4). Stood Jermaino up - a foul was called. Miami called a timeout while Jermaino ambled over to the sideline to have the trainers look at him. Seemed okay - to be honest, it almost seemed like he milked it a little, when he was late coming back on the court, holding everyone up so that the trainer could get one more look at him. I mean, do I think it hurt? Yes. But you just got whacked in the face - butch up a little, Jermaino. It didn't seem like that big a deal...Except, you know who it was a big deal to? Jermaino! Uh-oh, here comes "Tilt Jermaino!" So Jermaino shoots his two free throws, and is running back downcourt next to Samuel Dalembert. Jermaino put his arm out in front of Dalembert, who smacked it away. Jermaino, I guess still angry from the face-whack, got right in to Dalembert's face, who put his hands in Jermaino's chest to stop his advance. Whereupon Jermaino raised one of his hands and, as correctly described by M.Minutos, "smushed" Dalembert in the face. He didn't punch him, or push him, really, just "smushed" him up high. Overreacting referee Bob Delaney instantly sprinted in to the fray and ejected Jermaino. It seemed like a quick ejection, but in a previous career Delaney famously did undercover po-lice work infiltrating the mob, so, one, he knows how these things can escalate; and, two, he's a po-lice, so he really doesn't care about doing what's right, or fair, or sensible. You might say to me, "that was the most interesting thing that happened in the game?" And I would answer you, "yes, pretty much."
4) The NBA can be a super-cruel place at times. If you can't play, you get exposed. Period. There is nowhere to hide out there. Elton Brand, who was the number one overall draft pick coming out of Duke in 1999, is only 31 years old. He has had a productive, if slightly underachiving career, with little team success. Two years ago, he blew out an achilles tendon and missed the entire year, then missed most of last year with an injured shoulder. He is never going to be productive again - he was undersized to begin with, and now he is overweight, slow, and has absolutely no explosion off the floor. We have been looking for frontcourt guys that Jamal Magloire can outquick all season - we just found one. Brand's game now consists of the occasional fifteen foot jump shot, which he shoots with below average success; random attempts to bull his way to the basket by lowering his shoulder, bumping guys out of the way, and then arm-barring them off to be able to create space for a shot; and pushing guys in the back, or, alternatively, smacking them inadvertently in the face because he is too awkward and too slow to do anything else (see above). His spinning, second quarter foray into the lane, where he tried to shoot a twelve foot fallaway over similarly undersized Udonis Haslem, but ended up somehow drilling an awkward line drive off the bottom of the rim as he fell backwards, was one of the singularly bad - and, worse, sad - plays of the season. He ended up with 8 points on 3-10 shooting in 30 minutes, and is an absolute minus defensively - can't move quick enough to help, can't jump high enough to contest shots. This was a good, good NBA player. And he is a young man. Just a cruel, cruel place...
5) One of the favorite traditions in Casa Dos occurs every game just before tip-off, when Sunsports shows the names of the three referees for the night's game. I see the list and say, "oh, no..." Occasionally add, "Welcome to the suck," which is a Jake Gyllenhaal line from Jarhead. Tonight, sans Jarhead/suck line, M.Minutos laughed, as she always does, and asked if there has ever been a game where Sunsports showed the list of referees and I was happy? Oh, no...
6) I don't have any jokes, or made-up stories, or anything for tonight's game. I thought about listing the five best U2 songs, but we have a lot of younger readers, and they probably don't even know who that is. I don't even like them that much (but, by the way, their best song is "Runnning to Stand Still;" also, underrated, "Lemon"). But I do have something I would like to say: late in the second half, as we were tivo-ing through the commercials, I am almost positive I saw Dick Vitale in a Hooter's ad. I didn't go back, because if Dick Vitale is in a Hooter's ad, I don't even think we are going to make it to 2012. I mean, honestly - what the f--- is wrong with Dick Vitale, or Hooters, or any of us, really? What the f--- is wrong with America? This is more than just why the terrorists hate us; stuff like this is why people even become terrorists in the first place, just to try to harm us for putting ridiculous crud like this out in the world. For real: if you actually saw Dick Vitale in a Hooters, on a "creepy scale" of 1-100, where 1 is a young family taking a walk in the park on a beautiful day (not creepy at all), and 100 is...no, that's it...100 is Dick Vitale in a Hooter's! We did it, we reached the pinnacle! Goodnight, America!
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Tuesday against the Spurs - haven't seen them since New Year's Eve, and, honestly, that game was pretty much a drunken, tivo-ed blur...
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Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Heat 108 Bulls 95
6 Thoughts
1) That is 100 straight games for Dos Minutos - 100 straight, boy! I want to thank my man B.I., up in Heaven, lookin' down; I want to thank my man Al Gore for inventing Tivo; I want to thank my wife, M.Minutos, for having babies, so I can't go anywhere and am always home; but most of all, I want to thank my man Quentin Richardson for making game #100 a win. QRich did what QRich does. And, yes, I may have been drinking...
2) Please QRich, don't hurt 'em! Seven more triples for The President tonight, on eleven tries. Q is 25-50 on threes for March - that's the most triples in the league so far this month. Shooting 39% overall on the year on threes - that's very solid, more than a pleasant surprise, and he has been a rousing success most of the season. Blowing the smoke away from the barrel after each of his 4 first quarter threes, and hitting the biggest shot of the game, a pump-fake, okey-doke, step-to-the-side-and-drop-it three with 5 minutes to go when a depleted Bulls squad had cut it to 7. Ball game. Just another good, good night in a season filled with them for PresQ. In fact, you could make the case that, grading on a curve for ability, Q has had the best season of any Heat player. Just been there with focused effort, night after night after night - even Dwyane Wade can't say that.
3) Beyond that, Quentin produced the second funniest moment of the night. Jermaine O'Neal, who was outstanding with 25 points, has a hitch in his free throw motion which often causes opposing players to fall in to the lane too soon - which (explanation for Thor) results in Jermaino shooting the free throw again if he misses (assuming the ref calls the violation, which happens about once every fifteen times). For some reason, tonight Q decided that every time Jermaino shot a free throw, he was going to stand at his spot on the block, not contest the rebound, point at the Bull player inside of him, and scream "he's early!" On approximately his seventh try, which actually included a half-body turn towards the official to make sure he was heard, it worked and Jermaino shot an extra free throw, which he made. Questionable whether any Bull was ever in the lane early all night; arguable that the refs just got tired of Quentin shrieking at them.
4) The funniest moment of the night? It was Mike Beasley. Isn't it always Mike Beasley? And he wasn't even playing...Mid-second quarter, Bulls forward Hakim Warrick doggedly pursued a rebound heading toward the Heat bench while his teammates watched in horror and amazement, since no Bull had touched the ball and they were going to obtain possession, a circumstance that Hakim Warrick, alone out of eighteen thousand people in the AAA, didn't realize. As he made a final lunge at the ball, reaching it just in time to swipe it further out of bounds, allowing the Heat to retain possession, he landed right on the sneakered toe of Mr. Jim Buckets. Warrick got up and sheepishly walked back to his defensive assignment as his Bulls teammates looked at him with exasperation. Beasley, out tonight with contusion-like symptoms on his thigh, recoiled and grabbed at his foot, while Dwyane Wade, resting in the seat beside him, tried to imagine he was a million miles away...or, at least playing on the Knicks with LeBron. Beas eventually removed his sneaker and massaged his toe. Generally appeared okay. The incident was made thirty percent funnier by the fact that SuperCool was wearing an epauletted jacket from the House of Jermaino...
5) In honor of my 100th straight game, M.Minutos presented me with a Red Velvet cupcake before the game from...can't remember the name - the cupcake shop down Congress a ways, just north of Boynton Beach Boulevard, you know, on the east side. Brought a tear to my eye, and a sweetness to my tongue. That M.Minutos is a peach of a gal.
6) Okay, so a lot of people probably don't know - I promise, promise this is not a joke - but Quentin Richardson was engaged to the R & B singer Brandy in the mid-00s for a while. She used to be at his games when he was on Phoenix, and when he first got to the Knicks. People know who Brandy is, right? This is her with QRich - not too sure where they are doing here, maybe watching an Erykah Badu concert:
Now you remember, right? She had a sitcom named "Moesha" in the late 90s? A show about a young black ingenue just getting in touch with her womanhood as she blossomed in to- well, whatever, you know who she is...
What people don't know is that she had this reality show about her in between the time her sitcom ended, and her engagement to Quentin. It basically followed her around, the usual thing, except she was pregnant by this music producer named Robert, who was kind of a slow-talking, slow-moving, chunky dude, who didn't honestly seem to be much of a boyfriend or potential father.
Anyways, they split up after Brandy had the baby, obviously, since she got with The Pres. Robert moved to Miami, right around the same time M.Minutos and I did. Which, of course, was about the same time I was still trying to make it in the music business. A lot of people are always like, "oh, white Miami guys - right, there's Scott Storch, right," but I was doing it a little before he was, though, obviously, he was a lot more successful than I was ultimately. So one night I met Robert at Stephen Talkhouse, this club in South Beach which doesn't exist anymore, watching a hip-hoppish type, De La Soul kind of thing, and we sort of hit it off. I had seen him on Brandy's show, but in person I never really put two and two together - plus I was crazy stinky on E.
So he is telling me he is a music producer, and I am like, Whatever - mostly I just wanted to dance and touch booties, because I was stinky on E - but he convinced me to go to this little studio where he was working on tracks, and so we go there and he plays me this track, and I'm like, Fuck, that's a hit! And he's like, I know, but I don't have no singer (that's how he talked), just a Jamaican guy kind rapping over it in his patoi, and I'm like, Just get any girl, and he's like, No, I want another dude, and I'm like, Why do you want a duet with two dudes, and he's like, I just do...So, of course, I had gone to Boston College, and I'm like, Okay - Fuck, Dude - I know Johnny Gill, and he would totally do it, he is somewhat gay-ish!, which he did. So that is the story of how QRich's ex's ex and I produced "Slow and Sexy," by Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill. Still getting residual checks for it, but, honestly, radio stations don't play that song nearly as often as they should...
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Sunday night - Sixers. Also, I will tell the story about how I recommended James Iha to Billy Corgan for The Smashing Pumpkins, which is a far, far less successful story...
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1) That is 100 straight games for Dos Minutos - 100 straight, boy! I want to thank my man B.I., up in Heaven, lookin' down; I want to thank my man Al Gore for inventing Tivo; I want to thank my wife, M.Minutos, for having babies, so I can't go anywhere and am always home; but most of all, I want to thank my man Quentin Richardson for making game #100 a win. QRich did what QRich does. And, yes, I may have been drinking...
2) Please QRich, don't hurt 'em! Seven more triples for The President tonight, on eleven tries. Q is 25-50 on threes for March - that's the most triples in the league so far this month. Shooting 39% overall on the year on threes - that's very solid, more than a pleasant surprise, and he has been a rousing success most of the season. Blowing the smoke away from the barrel after each of his 4 first quarter threes, and hitting the biggest shot of the game, a pump-fake, okey-doke, step-to-the-side-and-drop-it three with 5 minutes to go when a depleted Bulls squad had cut it to 7. Ball game. Just another good, good night in a season filled with them for PresQ. In fact, you could make the case that, grading on a curve for ability, Q has had the best season of any Heat player. Just been there with focused effort, night after night after night - even Dwyane Wade can't say that.
3) Beyond that, Quentin produced the second funniest moment of the night. Jermaine O'Neal, who was outstanding with 25 points, has a hitch in his free throw motion which often causes opposing players to fall in to the lane too soon - which (explanation for Thor) results in Jermaino shooting the free throw again if he misses (assuming the ref calls the violation, which happens about once every fifteen times). For some reason, tonight Q decided that every time Jermaino shot a free throw, he was going to stand at his spot on the block, not contest the rebound, point at the Bull player inside of him, and scream "he's early!" On approximately his seventh try, which actually included a half-body turn towards the official to make sure he was heard, it worked and Jermaino shot an extra free throw, which he made. Questionable whether any Bull was ever in the lane early all night; arguable that the refs just got tired of Quentin shrieking at them.
4) The funniest moment of the night? It was Mike Beasley. Isn't it always Mike Beasley? And he wasn't even playing...Mid-second quarter, Bulls forward Hakim Warrick doggedly pursued a rebound heading toward the Heat bench while his teammates watched in horror and amazement, since no Bull had touched the ball and they were going to obtain possession, a circumstance that Hakim Warrick, alone out of eighteen thousand people in the AAA, didn't realize. As he made a final lunge at the ball, reaching it just in time to swipe it further out of bounds, allowing the Heat to retain possession, he landed right on the sneakered toe of Mr. Jim Buckets. Warrick got up and sheepishly walked back to his defensive assignment as his Bulls teammates looked at him with exasperation. Beasley, out tonight with contusion-like symptoms on his thigh, recoiled and grabbed at his foot, while Dwyane Wade, resting in the seat beside him, tried to imagine he was a million miles away...or, at least playing on the Knicks with LeBron. Beas eventually removed his sneaker and massaged his toe. Generally appeared okay. The incident was made thirty percent funnier by the fact that SuperCool was wearing an epauletted jacket from the House of Jermaino...
5) In honor of my 100th straight game, M.Minutos presented me with a Red Velvet cupcake before the game from...can't remember the name - the cupcake shop down Congress a ways, just north of Boynton Beach Boulevard, you know, on the east side. Brought a tear to my eye, and a sweetness to my tongue. That M.Minutos is a peach of a gal.
6) Okay, so a lot of people probably don't know - I promise, promise this is not a joke - but Quentin Richardson was engaged to the R & B singer Brandy in the mid-00s for a while. She used to be at his games when he was on Phoenix, and when he first got to the Knicks. People know who Brandy is, right? This is her with QRich - not too sure where they are doing here, maybe watching an Erykah Badu concert:
Now you remember, right? She had a sitcom named "Moesha" in the late 90s? A show about a young black ingenue just getting in touch with her womanhood as she blossomed in to- well, whatever, you know who she is...
What people don't know is that she had this reality show about her in between the time her sitcom ended, and her engagement to Quentin. It basically followed her around, the usual thing, except she was pregnant by this music producer named Robert, who was kind of a slow-talking, slow-moving, chunky dude, who didn't honestly seem to be much of a boyfriend or potential father.
Anyways, they split up after Brandy had the baby, obviously, since she got with The Pres. Robert moved to Miami, right around the same time M.Minutos and I did. Which, of course, was about the same time I was still trying to make it in the music business. A lot of people are always like, "oh, white Miami guys - right, there's Scott Storch, right," but I was doing it a little before he was, though, obviously, he was a lot more successful than I was ultimately. So one night I met Robert at Stephen Talkhouse, this club in South Beach which doesn't exist anymore, watching a hip-hoppish type, De La Soul kind of thing, and we sort of hit it off. I had seen him on Brandy's show, but in person I never really put two and two together - plus I was crazy stinky on E.
So he is telling me he is a music producer, and I am like, Whatever - mostly I just wanted to dance and touch booties, because I was stinky on E - but he convinced me to go to this little studio where he was working on tracks, and so we go there and he plays me this track, and I'm like, Fuck, that's a hit! And he's like, I know, but I don't have no singer (that's how he talked), just a Jamaican guy kind rapping over it in his patoi, and I'm like, Just get any girl, and he's like, No, I want another dude, and I'm like, Why do you want a duet with two dudes, and he's like, I just do...So, of course, I had gone to Boston College, and I'm like, Okay - Fuck, Dude - I know Johnny Gill, and he would totally do it, he is somewhat gay-ish!, which he did. So that is the story of how QRich's ex's ex and I produced "Slow and Sexy," by Shabba Ranks and Johnny Gill. Still getting residual checks for it, but, honestly, radio stations don't play that song nearly as often as they should...
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Sunday night - Sixers. Also, I will tell the story about how I recommended James Iha to Billy Corgan for The Smashing Pumpkins, which is a far, far less successful story...
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Heat 108 Clippers 97
6 Thoughts
1) Good evening. And, to our foreign readers, "g'day, mates!" Last night we had a little problem with the officiating in Charlotte, but tonight Miami shot 35 free throws to the Clippers 13 - heck, Dwyane Wade shot 17 all by himself. The Heat won easily, clinging to a playoff spot at 33-32. Now that's how we like to get down!
2) Now, sixty games into the season, Coach Eric Spoelstra has decided to remove backups Daequan Cook and Joel Anthony from the rotation, and replace them with James Jones and The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire. As play-by-player Eric Reid loves to point out, those two - at least tonight - displayed their "staying-readiness." Jones, fresh off of cooking chicken and shrimp burritos for a halftime segment last week, dropped 3 triples in 16 minutes, and Cat had 6 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 blocks in only 18 minutes. It was his best game of the year - he was a presence inside, throwing his elbows around with abandon. Subsequently made an appearance in the Sunsport Lounge with Jax, where it sounded like he was advocating intentional decapitation for anyone that ventures near him while is claiming rebounds - you don't need to tell that to Mario Chalmers who was nearly killed by Cat on a second quarter attempt to track down a loose shot. I don't know if Miami is going to make the playoffs, but I know if we keep playing Cat Magloire down the stretch, someone is going to get hurt, and it probably isn't Cat Magloire...
3) I can't be positive, but it looked like, for three and a half quarters, Clipper point guard and "leader" Baron Davis was willfully trying not to shoot the ball. Davis is an incredibly talented combination of quickness, strength, and ballhandling ability, and while he is not a consistent shooter, he is usually a volume shooter. Tonight, he mostly bounced the ball aimlessly around on the perimeter, and only a flurry of late shots after the game was decided brought his total of attempts to 11 - and only 1 free throw. He was held out of the starting lineup in the previous night's ball game for missing shoot-around earlier in the day. Maybe this was his retaliation, or maybe he is just getting old and can't bring it back-to-back anymore. It has been a curious career for Baron, marked with considerable inconsistency - this was just one more odd stop along the road...
4) Clipper coach Mike Dunleavy resigned his coaching duties recently to concentrate solely on his other job within the organization, being the General Manager. Guess he should have held on to the coaching gig, because yesterday he got fired as G.M. Whoops! Whatever - it is the worst franchise in sports over the last three decades - is there even another candidate? Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino talked about the transition that interim coach Kim Hughes has had to make since moving up from his assistant role to replace Dunleavy. "It's a lot different," Tony told Eric, "as a head coach, you have a lot more doodies." Wait - what? Oh, oh - duties...By the way, I'm not positive, but isn't "Kim" a girl's name?
5) Great idea from M.Minutos tonight: she has requested an "all Quentin Richardson" blog one game. The Pres dropped two more triples tonight - still workin' - and he is more popular nowhere in the land than in Casa Minutos. So, I think that's coming. Just be aware.
6) "Hey, Ben - Roethlisberger - it's me, Tiger...Yeah, what the hell is with all the freaky crap? Can't you keep it in your pants?"
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Friday night: huge, huge game against the Chicago Bulls - and, by the way, I don't want to get anyone all excited, but it will the 100th straight Heat game I will have watched in its entirety. I mean, if I live that long. See you then - maybe...
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1) Good evening. And, to our foreign readers, "g'day, mates!" Last night we had a little problem with the officiating in Charlotte, but tonight Miami shot 35 free throws to the Clippers 13 - heck, Dwyane Wade shot 17 all by himself. The Heat won easily, clinging to a playoff spot at 33-32. Now that's how we like to get down!
2) Now, sixty games into the season, Coach Eric Spoelstra has decided to remove backups Daequan Cook and Joel Anthony from the rotation, and replace them with James Jones and The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire. As play-by-player Eric Reid loves to point out, those two - at least tonight - displayed their "staying-readiness." Jones, fresh off of cooking chicken and shrimp burritos for a halftime segment last week, dropped 3 triples in 16 minutes, and Cat had 6 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 blocks in only 18 minutes. It was his best game of the year - he was a presence inside, throwing his elbows around with abandon. Subsequently made an appearance in the Sunsport Lounge with Jax, where it sounded like he was advocating intentional decapitation for anyone that ventures near him while is claiming rebounds - you don't need to tell that to Mario Chalmers who was nearly killed by Cat on a second quarter attempt to track down a loose shot. I don't know if Miami is going to make the playoffs, but I know if we keep playing Cat Magloire down the stretch, someone is going to get hurt, and it probably isn't Cat Magloire...
3) I can't be positive, but it looked like, for three and a half quarters, Clipper point guard and "leader" Baron Davis was willfully trying not to shoot the ball. Davis is an incredibly talented combination of quickness, strength, and ballhandling ability, and while he is not a consistent shooter, he is usually a volume shooter. Tonight, he mostly bounced the ball aimlessly around on the perimeter, and only a flurry of late shots after the game was decided brought his total of attempts to 11 - and only 1 free throw. He was held out of the starting lineup in the previous night's ball game for missing shoot-around earlier in the day. Maybe this was his retaliation, or maybe he is just getting old and can't bring it back-to-back anymore. It has been a curious career for Baron, marked with considerable inconsistency - this was just one more odd stop along the road...
4) Clipper coach Mike Dunleavy resigned his coaching duties recently to concentrate solely on his other job within the organization, being the General Manager. Guess he should have held on to the coaching gig, because yesterday he got fired as G.M. Whoops! Whatever - it is the worst franchise in sports over the last three decades - is there even another candidate? Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino talked about the transition that interim coach Kim Hughes has had to make since moving up from his assistant role to replace Dunleavy. "It's a lot different," Tony told Eric, "as a head coach, you have a lot more doodies." Wait - what? Oh, oh - duties...By the way, I'm not positive, but isn't "Kim" a girl's name?
5) Great idea from M.Minutos tonight: she has requested an "all Quentin Richardson" blog one game. The Pres dropped two more triples tonight - still workin' - and he is more popular nowhere in the land than in Casa Minutos. So, I think that's coming. Just be aware.
6) "Hey, Ben - Roethlisberger - it's me, Tiger...Yeah, what the hell is with all the freaky crap? Can't you keep it in your pants?"
-----
Friday night: huge, huge game against the Chicago Bulls - and, by the way, I don't want to get anyone all excited, but it will the 100th straight Heat game I will have watched in its entirety. I mean, if I live that long. See you then - maybe...
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Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Bobcats 83 Heat 78
6 Thoughts
1) Three or four games a year, you feel like you didn't have a fair chance to win because the referees had a bad night. This was one of those nights. If I showed you a tape of the game, with the foul calls taken out, you would have assumed Miami shot a bunch more free throws, and won the game handily. In real life, the Bobcats shot 30, Miami shot 16, Charlotte backup point guard DJ Augustin out free throw attempted Dwyane Wade 6-4, and Charlotte squeaked by with a huge home win in a battle for the final playoff spot for the East. Miami was fuming - when they missed a short jumper down two, with about 12 seconds to go, Quentin Richardson instantly grabbed Augustin to stop the clock and send him to the line, and inexplicably referee Danny Crawford, standing two feet away, brain froze and didn't call a foul, even though all ten players on the court essentially had stopped playing. I mean, that play happens every game, three times a game - Danny Crawford blowing that call is a total dereliction of his duty. There is no excuse for it - you just messed up. It's not competent. By the time Miami realized he hadn't blown his whistle and fouled again, 6 more seconds had elapsed. That cost them one extra possession in the game. Probably didn't cost them the game - but, somehow, as Wade and Richardson argued to Crawford on the way up the court, he took offense and yelled at them. I've never understood why refs do this. Obviously Crawford felt bad - he knew he messed up, and I am sure he wished he did call the first foul on Quentin Richardson when he should have. I can't believe that if he looked at Wade and QRich on the way up the court, and said, "you know what - I'm sorry, I missed the play," that's not a better solution than escalating the situation by yelling at the guys. They didn't mess up; you messed up. Jesus, use your brain and try some diplomacy. NBA referees are brutal, generally-speaking. They seem bent on making their jobs harder than they ought to be...
2) Just to reset - damaging loss. Minds were fairly right, the Heat played hard, just couldn't get a call. Having said that, Miami is now tied with Charlotte for the final playoff spot, pending the outcome of Chicago's game against Utah. Worse, Miami can't win a tiebreaker against Charlotte because they are 0-3 against them, with one left to play. 32-32 - eighteen games left. 43 wins is the goal...
3) Michael Jordan recently bought the Bobcats from BET owner Robert Johnson. On the one hand, this is a positive because Johnson seemed like one of the stingiest owners in the league - not fun to have teams that aren't even trying to compete around. On the other hand, Jordan has, thus far, proved to be awful at running basketball teams. Was terrible as the first player/general manager in history on the Bullets - in both roles - and has been terrible as the president of the Bobcats thus far. The dude has drafted both Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison in the top five of drafts, traded Richard Hamilton for Jerry Stackhouse, and Emeka Okafor for barely ambulatory Tyson Chandler. Isn't it time for him to butt out? As much as he may think the league can't go on without him, it can. Do I sound bitter? He's my least-favorite basketball player of all-time - after Richard Jefferson, and Brandon Roy, of course. He is the best player I ever saw, too - just hard to root for a guy whose personality is such a turnoff. LeBron James recently said he is giving up #23 and switching to #6 next year, to honor Jordan by vacating his number, and to try to be more like Mario Chalmers. If it were me, I'd change too, but I'd do it during a game by ripping off the #23, throwing it down at mid-court, dropping my trousers, and taking a dump on it. You know what? I think I am kind of tired, and in a bad mood...
4) Nothing even really happened in the game, I've got no other points to make. It was incredibly slow-paced, and Charlotte shot like 20 fourth quarter free throws to 2 for Miami. That's not funny. It was the least funny game of the year - nothing even happened. There's nothing even to say about that. Thank God I'm not Jax and have to run a postgame show. I think I'd just leave, and let Gerald Wallace stand there and interview himself. Or, let Danny Crawford interview him - he seems to want to run things his way anyhow. Everyone was mediocre, on both teams, except in the fourth quarter, when there wasn't even any basketball played, just a series of free throws at one end of the court. I'm turning it over to The Captain at #5, regrouping, and coming back with a Corey Booker impression at #6 - that will be a first!
5) We had a post a while back where we listed our five greatest "white dude" songs, and, of course, we got into a big argument with The Captain over it. Here is his rejoinder. By the way, if there are any Yes songs on the list, I am going to complain to Danny Crawford:
"OK, now that I have had some time to recover from seeing that picture of Shaquille O' Neal in tights and a pink Speedo, I am ready to give you the real greatest songs of all time. My advanced years and unparalleled whiteness give me the right and possibly more insight than a young whippersnapper like Dos.
Without further ado-whack-a-do:
#5. Shadow of the Sun by Audioslave. Chris Cornell and Tom Morello at their best. Oh and by the way, white guys really like guitars.
#4. Siberian Khatru by Yes. No band can blend so many appealing sounds into one song and get away with it. And oh yeah, the guitars.
#3. Deacon Blues by Steely Dan. Becker and Fagan. Roll a fatty, sit back and enjoy some of the finest musicianship this side W.A. Mozart.
#2. A Day in the Life by The Beatles. The greatest song writing duo ever at the height of their careers. They could create a mood that would become part of your soul. And yes it is ok to incorporate symphonic instruments into rock music. Lennon and Mc Cartney invented it. Other artists have been tinkering with it ever since without being able to improve it. Don't even bother boys.
And now the moment you have all been waiting for.
#1.Whole Lot of Love by, you know, the greatest rock band of all time. The definitive white guy guitar song of it's time and likely ever since. Led Zeppelin constantly reminded white guys of the late 60s and early 70s how important it is to take some time out of each day to slam your head against the wall. It doesn't hurt. Trust me. But sometimes it can make you repeat yourself. But it doesn't hurt. Trust me."
6) Does anyone here know who Corey Booker is? The almost-unbelievably positive mayor of Newark? Here is his website http://www.corybooker.com/. He is a gifted communicator who one day is either going to be president, or be involved in a a sordid, sordid double murder. There is no possible in-between scenario. Well, at Casa Dos we've been working on a Corey Booker impression. Here is Corey Booker on the Heat point guard situation:
"The Heat point guard situation is certainly challenging, but at the same time, it presents an incredible opportunity for positive change! When Coach Spoelstra - whom I know only from afar, but who appears to be doing an incredible job of maintaining the culture that was started in the organization by Pat Riley - last week decided to promote Carlos Arroyo to a starting position, incumbent point guard Rafer Alston found that very challenging. That's incredibly understandable. And when Mario Chalmers - who on the surface has had a challenging second season - continued to play the backup minutes, meaning Rafer had more opportunity to study the game from the bench, that presented a special, incredible challenge for Rafer. And I understand that: if I am a fireman and I am trying to put out a fire, I'm not going to be happy if someone takes my hose away from me, I am going to find that challenging. And the Heat organization found it challenging when Rafer stopped showing up for work, and began communicating only by text message, and some people have been disappointed in Rafer for that, but you know what? My parents always taught me that you have embrace new technology, not fear it, and if Rafer feels that the best way to confront his challenge is through text messaging, it is our job - as a community - to embrace that, and seek to deal with it in the best manner possible. We had a similar situation in Newark where we felt like our point guards' assist to turnover ratios were just too low. When I became mayor, our point guards were averaging only one assist for every three and a half turnovers. It was challenging. So what we did was - as a community, because turnovers affect all of us, black, white, Democrat, Republican - what we did was to train inner city, out-of-work indigent gypsies to refurbish former nuclear waste testing sites into NBA Skills Competition obstacle courses which we copied from the NBA's All-Star weekend. This was great, by the way, because that is a sustainable skill - those gypsies can now task out to other inner city areas across the nation and the world where there are former nuclear waste testing sites and turn them into NBA Skills Competition obstacle courses...Then we gathered all our point guards and gave them school credit for time spent on the obstacle courses, improving their skills, which also had the ancillary benefit of reducing the teacher-student ratios in the classes for the other kids while the point guards were out on the obstacle courses. What we found was, in six days, the point guards had gone from one assist to every three and a half turnovers, to nine assists for every one turnover, the non-point guard students benefited from the reduced teacher-student ratio by increasing their SAT scores an average of over two hundred and thirty points during the six days, and we also triggered a federal matching program that allowed us to receive stimulus money to refurbish even more former nuclear waste testing sites - we are working on turning some of them into field goal practice facilities now, because we find that long-range field goal kicking has become a challenge in our city. So I would challenge the entire Heat organization to look for creative solutions to their challenges at point guard, as we did in Newark. Or, alternatively, they could just give the ball to Dwyane Wade and tell everyone else to get the fuck out of his way."
Back tomorrow night against the Clippers. I got invited to the game by my boy Matty, but I have some challenges at home to attend to, so I'm not going. I'll be here for you...
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1) Three or four games a year, you feel like you didn't have a fair chance to win because the referees had a bad night. This was one of those nights. If I showed you a tape of the game, with the foul calls taken out, you would have assumed Miami shot a bunch more free throws, and won the game handily. In real life, the Bobcats shot 30, Miami shot 16, Charlotte backup point guard DJ Augustin out free throw attempted Dwyane Wade 6-4, and Charlotte squeaked by with a huge home win in a battle for the final playoff spot for the East. Miami was fuming - when they missed a short jumper down two, with about 12 seconds to go, Quentin Richardson instantly grabbed Augustin to stop the clock and send him to the line, and inexplicably referee Danny Crawford, standing two feet away, brain froze and didn't call a foul, even though all ten players on the court essentially had stopped playing. I mean, that play happens every game, three times a game - Danny Crawford blowing that call is a total dereliction of his duty. There is no excuse for it - you just messed up. It's not competent. By the time Miami realized he hadn't blown his whistle and fouled again, 6 more seconds had elapsed. That cost them one extra possession in the game. Probably didn't cost them the game - but, somehow, as Wade and Richardson argued to Crawford on the way up the court, he took offense and yelled at them. I've never understood why refs do this. Obviously Crawford felt bad - he knew he messed up, and I am sure he wished he did call the first foul on Quentin Richardson when he should have. I can't believe that if he looked at Wade and QRich on the way up the court, and said, "you know what - I'm sorry, I missed the play," that's not a better solution than escalating the situation by yelling at the guys. They didn't mess up; you messed up. Jesus, use your brain and try some diplomacy. NBA referees are brutal, generally-speaking. They seem bent on making their jobs harder than they ought to be...
2) Just to reset - damaging loss. Minds were fairly right, the Heat played hard, just couldn't get a call. Having said that, Miami is now tied with Charlotte for the final playoff spot, pending the outcome of Chicago's game against Utah. Worse, Miami can't win a tiebreaker against Charlotte because they are 0-3 against them, with one left to play. 32-32 - eighteen games left. 43 wins is the goal...
3) Michael Jordan recently bought the Bobcats from BET owner Robert Johnson. On the one hand, this is a positive because Johnson seemed like one of the stingiest owners in the league - not fun to have teams that aren't even trying to compete around. On the other hand, Jordan has, thus far, proved to be awful at running basketball teams. Was terrible as the first player/general manager in history on the Bullets - in both roles - and has been terrible as the president of the Bobcats thus far. The dude has drafted both Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison in the top five of drafts, traded Richard Hamilton for Jerry Stackhouse, and Emeka Okafor for barely ambulatory Tyson Chandler. Isn't it time for him to butt out? As much as he may think the league can't go on without him, it can. Do I sound bitter? He's my least-favorite basketball player of all-time - after Richard Jefferson, and Brandon Roy, of course. He is the best player I ever saw, too - just hard to root for a guy whose personality is such a turnoff. LeBron James recently said he is giving up #23 and switching to #6 next year, to honor Jordan by vacating his number, and to try to be more like Mario Chalmers. If it were me, I'd change too, but I'd do it during a game by ripping off the #23, throwing it down at mid-court, dropping my trousers, and taking a dump on it. You know what? I think I am kind of tired, and in a bad mood...
4) Nothing even really happened in the game, I've got no other points to make. It was incredibly slow-paced, and Charlotte shot like 20 fourth quarter free throws to 2 for Miami. That's not funny. It was the least funny game of the year - nothing even happened. There's nothing even to say about that. Thank God I'm not Jax and have to run a postgame show. I think I'd just leave, and let Gerald Wallace stand there and interview himself. Or, let Danny Crawford interview him - he seems to want to run things his way anyhow. Everyone was mediocre, on both teams, except in the fourth quarter, when there wasn't even any basketball played, just a series of free throws at one end of the court. I'm turning it over to The Captain at #5, regrouping, and coming back with a Corey Booker impression at #6 - that will be a first!
5) We had a post a while back where we listed our five greatest "white dude" songs, and, of course, we got into a big argument with The Captain over it. Here is his rejoinder. By the way, if there are any Yes songs on the list, I am going to complain to Danny Crawford:
"OK, now that I have had some time to recover from seeing that picture of Shaquille O' Neal in tights and a pink Speedo, I am ready to give you the real greatest songs of all time. My advanced years and unparalleled whiteness give me the right and possibly more insight than a young whippersnapper like Dos.
Without further ado-whack-a-do:
#5. Shadow of the Sun by Audioslave. Chris Cornell and Tom Morello at their best. Oh and by the way, white guys really like guitars.
#4. Siberian Khatru by Yes. No band can blend so many appealing sounds into one song and get away with it. And oh yeah, the guitars.
#3. Deacon Blues by Steely Dan. Becker and Fagan. Roll a fatty, sit back and enjoy some of the finest musicianship this side W.A. Mozart.
#2. A Day in the Life by The Beatles. The greatest song writing duo ever at the height of their careers. They could create a mood that would become part of your soul. And yes it is ok to incorporate symphonic instruments into rock music. Lennon and Mc Cartney invented it. Other artists have been tinkering with it ever since without being able to improve it. Don't even bother boys.
And now the moment you have all been waiting for.
#1.Whole Lot of Love by, you know, the greatest rock band of all time. The definitive white guy guitar song of it's time and likely ever since. Led Zeppelin constantly reminded white guys of the late 60s and early 70s how important it is to take some time out of each day to slam your head against the wall. It doesn't hurt. Trust me. But sometimes it can make you repeat yourself. But it doesn't hurt. Trust me."
6) Does anyone here know who Corey Booker is? The almost-unbelievably positive mayor of Newark? Here is his website http://www.corybooker.com/. He is a gifted communicator who one day is either going to be president, or be involved in a a sordid, sordid double murder. There is no possible in-between scenario. Well, at Casa Dos we've been working on a Corey Booker impression. Here is Corey Booker on the Heat point guard situation:
"The Heat point guard situation is certainly challenging, but at the same time, it presents an incredible opportunity for positive change! When Coach Spoelstra - whom I know only from afar, but who appears to be doing an incredible job of maintaining the culture that was started in the organization by Pat Riley - last week decided to promote Carlos Arroyo to a starting position, incumbent point guard Rafer Alston found that very challenging. That's incredibly understandable. And when Mario Chalmers - who on the surface has had a challenging second season - continued to play the backup minutes, meaning Rafer had more opportunity to study the game from the bench, that presented a special, incredible challenge for Rafer. And I understand that: if I am a fireman and I am trying to put out a fire, I'm not going to be happy if someone takes my hose away from me, I am going to find that challenging. And the Heat organization found it challenging when Rafer stopped showing up for work, and began communicating only by text message, and some people have been disappointed in Rafer for that, but you know what? My parents always taught me that you have embrace new technology, not fear it, and if Rafer feels that the best way to confront his challenge is through text messaging, it is our job - as a community - to embrace that, and seek to deal with it in the best manner possible. We had a similar situation in Newark where we felt like our point guards' assist to turnover ratios were just too low. When I became mayor, our point guards were averaging only one assist for every three and a half turnovers. It was challenging. So what we did was - as a community, because turnovers affect all of us, black, white, Democrat, Republican - what we did was to train inner city, out-of-work indigent gypsies to refurbish former nuclear waste testing sites into NBA Skills Competition obstacle courses which we copied from the NBA's All-Star weekend. This was great, by the way, because that is a sustainable skill - those gypsies can now task out to other inner city areas across the nation and the world where there are former nuclear waste testing sites and turn them into NBA Skills Competition obstacle courses...Then we gathered all our point guards and gave them school credit for time spent on the obstacle courses, improving their skills, which also had the ancillary benefit of reducing the teacher-student ratios in the classes for the other kids while the point guards were out on the obstacle courses. What we found was, in six days, the point guards had gone from one assist to every three and a half turnovers, to nine assists for every one turnover, the non-point guard students benefited from the reduced teacher-student ratio by increasing their SAT scores an average of over two hundred and thirty points during the six days, and we also triggered a federal matching program that allowed us to receive stimulus money to refurbish even more former nuclear waste testing sites - we are working on turning some of them into field goal practice facilities now, because we find that long-range field goal kicking has become a challenge in our city. So I would challenge the entire Heat organization to look for creative solutions to their challenges at point guard, as we did in Newark. Or, alternatively, they could just give the ball to Dwyane Wade and tell everyone else to get the fuck out of his way."
Back tomorrow night against the Clippers. I got invited to the game by my boy Matty, but I have some challenges at home to attend to, so I'm not going. I'll be here for you...
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
Heat 100 Hawks 94
6 Thoughts
1) Look, sometimes a highly touted power forward #2 overall draft pick has a generally erratic beginning to his career, then after 150 or so games, just when you feel like he should be starting to get it, he comes out and plays absolutely awful basketball for two straight weeks. And then maybe, during a nationally televised game on a, say, Thursday night against, maybe, the Lakers, he comes out, is brutal again, and spends most of the night on the bench. And then maybe someone at Casa Dos - it doesn't matter who, really - declares, "I never want to watch him play again...He is dead to me." I mean, it could happen. But what if, say, in the very next game, that oft-maligned power forward shuffles through three quarters with minimal impact, then suddenly EXPLODES down the stretch with 14 points on two triples, an alley oop slam in transition, a tip in, and two huge steals defensively - and he wins the game, a big game, against the Hawks, while you are right in the middle of a playoff drive? What then? I think that if you are the person who claimed that the power forward was dead to him, you take credit for motivating him! Do it, Mike Beasley! By the way, I left out the part where I mixed myself a very strong mojito before the game, drawing a low whistle from M.Minutos, prompting me to look at her and say, "I need this to watch Mike Beasley play..."
2) Mike - his mind, seemingly, got right about two minutes into the fourth quarter. Did he suddenly have an epiphany about playing hard? Did he re-locate his missing swag? "Honestly," he told Jax after the game, "#3 got mad at me and punched me in the chest." Okay! Whatever it takes! Good job, Dwyane!
3) Okay, new movie out tonight: "QRich Doin' Work II...Still Workin'!" Two nights after his 25 point, 7 triple breakout on the Lakers, The Pres dropped 22 on 5 triples against the ATL. Eleven rebounds. Two huge third quarter rebounds and instant homerun connections to DWade, on the heels of two Wade triples, that erased a 12 point Atlanta lead, and got Miami back in it. I've said it before - I was the only one who believed in QRich when they acquired him last summer. Organizations have different cultures and different roles for positions: on Miami, if you can defend the perimeter, and make the open three, you can play small forward for the Heat. Then that's when the movie offers start flowing in...
4) This was Dwyane Wade's week: 35 points, 12 assists, and 6 rebounds against Golden State. 27 points, 14 assists, and 5 rebounds against the Lakers. 38 points, 10 assists, and 4 rebounds against Atlanta. 3-0. One punch to Mike Beasley's chest. If these are Dwyane's last few weeks in Miami, he's putting on a good show to remember him by.
5) James Jones and Jax made burritos at halftime in the new segment "Recipes for Success." During the piece, James became the first Heat player ever to use the word "affinity" - correctly, by the way - in any segment whatsoever, pregame, postgame, or halftime. Further, the spicy chicken and shrimp burritos did look very tasty - James looks like he knows what he is doing in the kitchen, and M.Minutos and I both agreed that we would eat food that James cooked. The player we would least want preparing a meal for us? By unanimous vote: Dorell Wright. I'd just feel fortunate if he didn't set the kitchen on fire...
6) If you have been near a television over the last couple weeks, you've been bombarded with commercials for the new Gerard Butler-Jennifer Aniston movie called...I don't know what it is called actually - "Uh-oh?" "Career Killer?" Not sure. First of all, why is Gerard Butler doing an American accent that sounds li...never mind. We're turning this over to Scott. He's from Scotland, just like Butler, we just hung out with him on his trip to the States, and he never once used a bizarrely odd sounding American accent, or did anything else that gave me the chills that kind of rhyme with "juice." Scott emailed me to alert me to stay away from movie theaters: "I forgot to bring up, which I am sure you're aware of, that another Gerard Butler vehicle looms. The vehicle I would like to see him in is a hearse." Okay, I just checked it out - it's called "The Bounty Hunter," and it opens March 19th. So if I stay away from the movie theater until, say, about March 20th, I should be in the clear, right? The 21st, maybe, just to play it safe? We'll see...
19 games left, got to get it to about 11-8 to feel pretty good about playoff chances - huge game Tuesday against co-playoff aspirant Charlotte. See you then. Leave your tv off just so you don't have to see the Butler ads...
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1) Look, sometimes a highly touted power forward #2 overall draft pick has a generally erratic beginning to his career, then after 150 or so games, just when you feel like he should be starting to get it, he comes out and plays absolutely awful basketball for two straight weeks. And then maybe, during a nationally televised game on a, say, Thursday night against, maybe, the Lakers, he comes out, is brutal again, and spends most of the night on the bench. And then maybe someone at Casa Dos - it doesn't matter who, really - declares, "I never want to watch him play again...He is dead to me." I mean, it could happen. But what if, say, in the very next game, that oft-maligned power forward shuffles through three quarters with minimal impact, then suddenly EXPLODES down the stretch with 14 points on two triples, an alley oop slam in transition, a tip in, and two huge steals defensively - and he wins the game, a big game, against the Hawks, while you are right in the middle of a playoff drive? What then? I think that if you are the person who claimed that the power forward was dead to him, you take credit for motivating him! Do it, Mike Beasley! By the way, I left out the part where I mixed myself a very strong mojito before the game, drawing a low whistle from M.Minutos, prompting me to look at her and say, "I need this to watch Mike Beasley play..."
2) Mike - his mind, seemingly, got right about two minutes into the fourth quarter. Did he suddenly have an epiphany about playing hard? Did he re-locate his missing swag? "Honestly," he told Jax after the game, "#3 got mad at me and punched me in the chest." Okay! Whatever it takes! Good job, Dwyane!
3) Okay, new movie out tonight: "QRich Doin' Work II...Still Workin'!" Two nights after his 25 point, 7 triple breakout on the Lakers, The Pres dropped 22 on 5 triples against the ATL. Eleven rebounds. Two huge third quarter rebounds and instant homerun connections to DWade, on the heels of two Wade triples, that erased a 12 point Atlanta lead, and got Miami back in it. I've said it before - I was the only one who believed in QRich when they acquired him last summer. Organizations have different cultures and different roles for positions: on Miami, if you can defend the perimeter, and make the open three, you can play small forward for the Heat. Then that's when the movie offers start flowing in...
4) This was Dwyane Wade's week: 35 points, 12 assists, and 6 rebounds against Golden State. 27 points, 14 assists, and 5 rebounds against the Lakers. 38 points, 10 assists, and 4 rebounds against Atlanta. 3-0. One punch to Mike Beasley's chest. If these are Dwyane's last few weeks in Miami, he's putting on a good show to remember him by.
5) James Jones and Jax made burritos at halftime in the new segment "Recipes for Success." During the piece, James became the first Heat player ever to use the word "affinity" - correctly, by the way - in any segment whatsoever, pregame, postgame, or halftime. Further, the spicy chicken and shrimp burritos did look very tasty - James looks like he knows what he is doing in the kitchen, and M.Minutos and I both agreed that we would eat food that James cooked. The player we would least want preparing a meal for us? By unanimous vote: Dorell Wright. I'd just feel fortunate if he didn't set the kitchen on fire...
6) If you have been near a television over the last couple weeks, you've been bombarded with commercials for the new Gerard Butler-Jennifer Aniston movie called...I don't know what it is called actually - "Uh-oh?" "Career Killer?" Not sure. First of all, why is Gerard Butler doing an American accent that sounds li...never mind. We're turning this over to Scott. He's from Scotland, just like Butler, we just hung out with him on his trip to the States, and he never once used a bizarrely odd sounding American accent, or did anything else that gave me the chills that kind of rhyme with "juice." Scott emailed me to alert me to stay away from movie theaters: "I forgot to bring up, which I am sure you're aware of, that another Gerard Butler vehicle looms. The vehicle I would like to see him in is a hearse." Okay, I just checked it out - it's called "The Bounty Hunter," and it opens March 19th. So if I stay away from the movie theater until, say, about March 20th, I should be in the clear, right? The 21st, maybe, just to play it safe? We'll see...
19 games left, got to get it to about 11-8 to feel pretty good about playoff chances - huge game Tuesday against co-playoff aspirant Charlotte. See you then. Leave your tv off just so you don't have to see the Butler ads...
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Thursday, March 4, 2010
Heat 114 Lakers 111 ot
6 Thoughts
1) Solid, strong win - it's always satisfying to beat the Lakers. Down the stretch of regulation, Miami watched a seven point lead ripped away from them by a series of almost bizarrely ridiculous calls, and the game threatened to be the most aggravating loss since, well, since the last Lakers game. I don't think we complain much about the refereeing here, honestly, but, man, it is tough to get a call against the Lakers in crunch time. Instead, Miami pulled it out in overtime. The Heat are 31-31 now - only twenty games left, jeez. 12-8 goes to the playoff; anything else leaves the door open. That's the goal, 12-8. Let's run down the heroes of the night, followed by a movie review at # 6. I mean, that's how we do!
2) Hero # 1: The President, Quentin Richardson. Let me ask you a question: Have you seen the follow up to Spike Lee's, ummm, "smash hit" documentary "Kobe Doin' Work" from a couple of years ago? Wait, let's back it up a minute - has anyone actually even seen "Kobe Doin' Work?" Okay, that's okay, no problem, because the sequel, "QRich Doin' Work...in Kobe's Mug," is even better! Ron Artest took the defensive assignment on Dwyane Wade most of the night - more on that in a second - leaving Kobe on Quentin...annnnnnnd Quentin went off! 25 points on 7-11 triples, including one huge rip from the right wing with 20 seconds to go that gave the Heat a 2 point lead - Kobe was late on the closeout. Pres also had 5 boards and 3 steals. He was doin' it all.
3) Hero # 2: Carlos Arroyo. Did get the start in place of the benched Rafer Alston. Carlos is slow, not even quick, really; can't jump; and isn't particularly strong. But he is clever, and can run the offense, and knock down the mid-range jumper. On a two-on-one in the first half with Wade against Ron Artest, with Artest playing the percentages and playing for Wade to shoot, Carlos skipped by the Insane One and scooped the ball right in the basket - clever, veteran play. So many guys would have tried to force feed Dwyane. Also okey-doked Derek Fisher on a big fourth quarter play, earned himself two free throws. Knocked down a huge jumper from the top of the key late when the Lakers played off him. Best game - easily - of the year for Carlos. He finished with 17 points on 6-7 shooting, with 5 assists, and zero turnovers.
4) Hero # 3: Dwyane Wade. Down the stretch, Miami cleared out the top and let him go to work on Ron Artest. Artest tried giving him space, but Wade was around him in one step every time, in the teeth, and creating wide open shots for teammates. Two jumpers for Haslem, the huge three by Q, the jumper by Arroyo, a flip to Jermaino for a layup. He was outstanding: 14 assists to go with his 27 points. Kobe (39 points) almost matched him play-for-play down the stretch. Almost.
5) Hero # 4: Phil Jackson. Maybe it's just me, but after about the eighth straight time at the end of the fourth quarter or in overtime that Wade went by Ron Artest with the bounce like Artest was bolted to the floor, I would have put Kobe on Wade, and left Artest to stand out next to QRich and hug him, which is Artest's forte anyways. Instead, Wade kept whiplashing Artest, the Lakers ran to help, and other guys got wide open looks. It was almost as if Jackson was trying to win doing things the wrong way just to irk Miami - and by the way, I wouldn't put it past him.
6) Movie Review: Well, I am finished with Nazis for the most part, and am now studying Jewish resistance to Nazis, in Britain. By the way, I am uniquely qualified to do this, being of British and Jewish heritage myself. Also, I’ve been to England. Twice. So I was just about to do some research last night when I flipped around channels and saw that Planet of the Apes was about to start. That’s an automatic watch for me – let’s be honest, it’s the funniest movie of all time. Disappointingly, however, it was the Marky Mark re-make from 2001, not the original Charlton Heston “classic.” I’ve seen the Marky Mark version – all I really remember is that it falls apart at the end, like they ran out of time and money and just had to slap together an ending, even if it didn’t make any sense whatsoever, which it didn’t. Anyways, it’s a great film. The first scene is on a giant spaceship with Marky Mark training his pet monkey, Pericles, how to fly a small space pod. I’m sure “Pericles” is some kind of traveler or explorer from the old days, by the way, but I don’t know who he is. So then Marky Mark gets called to the Captain’s deck, where a beefy white guy – the Captain (not our "The Captain" – another, real captain) – tells him they need to launch Pericles out in one of the pods to go check out an electrical disturbance ahead of them. Marky Mark is dubious – “he’s not ready for this, Captain,” but the Captain is rude and insistent, “He’s the canary and that’s the coal mine: he launches at 1600 hours!” So Marky Mark is furious, and goes steaming off to give Pericles some last words of advice – I’m not even making any jokes about his unnatural affection for the monkey, or anything, but who knows how long they have been out there in space? So Pericles gets launched, and inevitably, within, like, 5 seconds, he is spinning out of control and lost in the electrical disturbance. Marky Mark demands to be sent out after him, but the Captain is, again, insistent, No, we can’t afford to lose another space pod, or a man. Marky Mark, in a classic line that would be approximately fifty times better if Heston spit it, ominously goes, “never send a monkey to do a man’s job…” By the way, I think we are all fairly familiar with the premise of the film, so the foreshadowing was, maybe, a little heavy. Anyways, Marky Mark stands there fuming, and then you can almost see the light bulb go off in his head, and all of a sudden he gets really conciliatory, and he says to the Captain something like, “hey, ahhh, I think I am going to go check out the pod launch station, maybe I can figure out, ummmm, what went wrong with Pericles,” and The Captain has apparently never seen a movie, or read a book, or lived amongst other humans, because he is, like, “oh, sure, great idea – I have total confidence that you aren’t going to get into a space pod and immediately launch yourself into space to go get the monkey,” which of course is exactly what Marky Mark does. Seems amazing that he is able to independently launch himself in the space pod in about ninety seconds, by the way – seems like there would be some kind of dual control, at a minimum. Totally great, though.
I only watched one more scene, but it is the most important one of all – the re-enactment of the Charlton Heston running scene from the original, in which a 60 year old Heston, with an arthritic hip, clearly wheezing from emphysema, and arguably drunk, manages to elude between thirty and seventy monkeys for about twelve straight minutes, even though they have him surrounded in an area the approximate square footage of my living room. It is the greatest action scene of all-time. But in the re-make, the scene isn’t nearly as good. Even though Marky Mark is in outstanding shape, if I do say so myself, these monkeys are like Lawrence Taylor-super freak monkeys, jumping twenty feet in to the air, and running ten times as fast as the old monkeys, and they catch all the humans really easily. Note: I just took a break to tell The Real Captain about this scene. He said, “apes,” I said, “what?” He said, “they’re apes, not monkeys;” I said, “what is the difference,” he said, “well, the movie is called Planet of the Apes, for one thing.” It’s a fair point…
Anyways, I didn’t watch the rest of the movie, but for what I saw, I give it a 9.5 out of 10, missing a perfect score only because Marky Mark doesn’t have a sweet beard like Heston does in the original.
Home Saturday night against the ATL - try to have your mind right for the evening, please.
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1) Solid, strong win - it's always satisfying to beat the Lakers. Down the stretch of regulation, Miami watched a seven point lead ripped away from them by a series of almost bizarrely ridiculous calls, and the game threatened to be the most aggravating loss since, well, since the last Lakers game. I don't think we complain much about the refereeing here, honestly, but, man, it is tough to get a call against the Lakers in crunch time. Instead, Miami pulled it out in overtime. The Heat are 31-31 now - only twenty games left, jeez. 12-8 goes to the playoff; anything else leaves the door open. That's the goal, 12-8. Let's run down the heroes of the night, followed by a movie review at # 6. I mean, that's how we do!
2) Hero # 1: The President, Quentin Richardson. Let me ask you a question: Have you seen the follow up to Spike Lee's, ummm, "smash hit" documentary "Kobe Doin' Work" from a couple of years ago? Wait, let's back it up a minute - has anyone actually even seen "Kobe Doin' Work?" Okay, that's okay, no problem, because the sequel, "QRich Doin' Work...in Kobe's Mug," is even better! Ron Artest took the defensive assignment on Dwyane Wade most of the night - more on that in a second - leaving Kobe on Quentin...annnnnnnd Quentin went off! 25 points on 7-11 triples, including one huge rip from the right wing with 20 seconds to go that gave the Heat a 2 point lead - Kobe was late on the closeout. Pres also had 5 boards and 3 steals. He was doin' it all.
3) Hero # 2: Carlos Arroyo. Did get the start in place of the benched Rafer Alston. Carlos is slow, not even quick, really; can't jump; and isn't particularly strong. But he is clever, and can run the offense, and knock down the mid-range jumper. On a two-on-one in the first half with Wade against Ron Artest, with Artest playing the percentages and playing for Wade to shoot, Carlos skipped by the Insane One and scooped the ball right in the basket - clever, veteran play. So many guys would have tried to force feed Dwyane. Also okey-doked Derek Fisher on a big fourth quarter play, earned himself two free throws. Knocked down a huge jumper from the top of the key late when the Lakers played off him. Best game - easily - of the year for Carlos. He finished with 17 points on 6-7 shooting, with 5 assists, and zero turnovers.
4) Hero # 3: Dwyane Wade. Down the stretch, Miami cleared out the top and let him go to work on Ron Artest. Artest tried giving him space, but Wade was around him in one step every time, in the teeth, and creating wide open shots for teammates. Two jumpers for Haslem, the huge three by Q, the jumper by Arroyo, a flip to Jermaino for a layup. He was outstanding: 14 assists to go with his 27 points. Kobe (39 points) almost matched him play-for-play down the stretch. Almost.
5) Hero # 4: Phil Jackson. Maybe it's just me, but after about the eighth straight time at the end of the fourth quarter or in overtime that Wade went by Ron Artest with the bounce like Artest was bolted to the floor, I would have put Kobe on Wade, and left Artest to stand out next to QRich and hug him, which is Artest's forte anyways. Instead, Wade kept whiplashing Artest, the Lakers ran to help, and other guys got wide open looks. It was almost as if Jackson was trying to win doing things the wrong way just to irk Miami - and by the way, I wouldn't put it past him.
6) Movie Review: Well, I am finished with Nazis for the most part, and am now studying Jewish resistance to Nazis, in Britain. By the way, I am uniquely qualified to do this, being of British and Jewish heritage myself. Also, I’ve been to England. Twice. So I was just about to do some research last night when I flipped around channels and saw that Planet of the Apes was about to start. That’s an automatic watch for me – let’s be honest, it’s the funniest movie of all time. Disappointingly, however, it was the Marky Mark re-make from 2001, not the original Charlton Heston “classic.” I’ve seen the Marky Mark version – all I really remember is that it falls apart at the end, like they ran out of time and money and just had to slap together an ending, even if it didn’t make any sense whatsoever, which it didn’t. Anyways, it’s a great film. The first scene is on a giant spaceship with Marky Mark training his pet monkey, Pericles, how to fly a small space pod. I’m sure “Pericles” is some kind of traveler or explorer from the old days, by the way, but I don’t know who he is. So then Marky Mark gets called to the Captain’s deck, where a beefy white guy – the Captain (not our "The Captain" – another, real captain) – tells him they need to launch Pericles out in one of the pods to go check out an electrical disturbance ahead of them. Marky Mark is dubious – “he’s not ready for this, Captain,” but the Captain is rude and insistent, “He’s the canary and that’s the coal mine: he launches at 1600 hours!” So Marky Mark is furious, and goes steaming off to give Pericles some last words of advice – I’m not even making any jokes about his unnatural affection for the monkey, or anything, but who knows how long they have been out there in space? So Pericles gets launched, and inevitably, within, like, 5 seconds, he is spinning out of control and lost in the electrical disturbance. Marky Mark demands to be sent out after him, but the Captain is, again, insistent, No, we can’t afford to lose another space pod, or a man. Marky Mark, in a classic line that would be approximately fifty times better if Heston spit it, ominously goes, “never send a monkey to do a man’s job…” By the way, I think we are all fairly familiar with the premise of the film, so the foreshadowing was, maybe, a little heavy. Anyways, Marky Mark stands there fuming, and then you can almost see the light bulb go off in his head, and all of a sudden he gets really conciliatory, and he says to the Captain something like, “hey, ahhh, I think I am going to go check out the pod launch station, maybe I can figure out, ummmm, what went wrong with Pericles,” and The Captain has apparently never seen a movie, or read a book, or lived amongst other humans, because he is, like, “oh, sure, great idea – I have total confidence that you aren’t going to get into a space pod and immediately launch yourself into space to go get the monkey,” which of course is exactly what Marky Mark does. Seems amazing that he is able to independently launch himself in the space pod in about ninety seconds, by the way – seems like there would be some kind of dual control, at a minimum. Totally great, though.
I only watched one more scene, but it is the most important one of all – the re-enactment of the Charlton Heston running scene from the original, in which a 60 year old Heston, with an arthritic hip, clearly wheezing from emphysema, and arguably drunk, manages to elude between thirty and seventy monkeys for about twelve straight minutes, even though they have him surrounded in an area the approximate square footage of my living room. It is the greatest action scene of all-time. But in the re-make, the scene isn’t nearly as good. Even though Marky Mark is in outstanding shape, if I do say so myself, these monkeys are like Lawrence Taylor-super freak monkeys, jumping twenty feet in to the air, and running ten times as fast as the old monkeys, and they catch all the humans really easily. Note: I just took a break to tell The Real Captain about this scene. He said, “apes,” I said, “what?” He said, “they’re apes, not monkeys;” I said, “what is the difference,” he said, “well, the movie is called Planet of the Apes, for one thing.” It’s a fair point…
Anyways, I didn’t watch the rest of the movie, but for what I saw, I give it a 9.5 out of 10, missing a perfect score only because Marky Mark doesn’t have a sweet beard like Heston does in the original.
Home Saturday night against the ATL - try to have your mind right for the evening, please.
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Heat 110 Warriors 106
6 Thoughts
1) Is there such a thing as a pitiful win? Because that was pitiful. Miami squeaked by a 17 win Warrior team missing three starters, and barely escaped when Anthony Morrow's wide open look at a 3, down 2, inside of a minute to go, missed. Eric Reid, Tony Fiorentino, DWade, and Carlos Arroyo all made excuses about how it is dangerous to play against a team missing players and out of the playoff race because they are loose. You know what else is dangerous? Coming out with the defensive intensity of a milk carton. Goodness gracious, that was a brutal win.
2) It was mostly Dwyane Wade who won the game, without a great deal of help. Dwyane had 35 points on a ridiculous 15-23, with 12 assists, 6 rebounds, and 4 steals. Golden State didn't have anyone who could match up with him, and even if they did, it is even money Coach Don Nelson, who is the King of the Mail It In, and an absolute abomination to the sport of basketball, wouldn't play him. Over the last several years you couldn't possibly make less of an effort to win basketball games than Don Nelson has - he's a joke. Also worth mentioning, wore a dark burgundy t-shirt, fitting snugly over the giant man boobs, with a light gray suit jacket over it. It is a tossup as to what is worse, his coaching effort or his fashion "sense."
3) Change at the point guard spot: Rafer Alston started as usual, and played awfully again, especially on the offensive end. After 7 minutes he was gone - no return for Skip, and Carlos Arroyo started the second half. Carlos had 14, 5 and 5. Emcee Chalmers backed him up in the second half - Emcee was vaguely average. Carlos is the most efficient offensive point guard; Rafer is the best defender; Chalmers is second at both. None of them are starting NBA point guards - that's the problem. The Heat want Chalmers to blossom as a true NBA player, but his second year has been a step back. Odds are, Arroyo starts Tuesday with Emcee backing him up; but the move probably should be Arroyo as the starter, with Skip playing the backup minutes to give a defensive on-the-ball presence.
4) Beasley was okay - 15 points on only 6-14. Still looked indecisive and flat-footed. Wonder if the knee that he hyperextended a couple weeks back is still bothering him. He played only 21 minutes tonight - he is going to have to show more energy to push those minutes back up.
5) Okay, we got a good look at Warriors rookie Stephen Curry tonight. His dad, Dell, played in the NBA for a long time and was the best shooter that I have ever seen. If his jumper came out of his hand any softer, it would have been going backwards. His son Stephen is a little smaller and slighter than Dell was, but is also an incredible shooter, with a quick release, a deceptive handle, and a mature sense of how to run an offense from the point guard position. He had 18 points and 8 assists tonight on 7-17, after a slow start. Would easily be the best Heat point guard right now. Having seen all the NBA rookies multiple times, I don't think it is even close - I'd take Curry in a heartbeat. Tyreke Evans on Sacramento is going to win Rookie of the Year - he is a physical rock who bulls his way to rim at every opportunity, but I haven't seen him pass the ball yet. Not a guy you would want to play with. Brandon Jennings is a quicker point guard than Curry, but not in the same class as a shooter or scorer. Curry is the guy, for sure. Mature.
6) Several readers wrote in to ask if I watched the Gold Medal hockey game in the Olympics. Thanks for asking. Yes, yes I did - at least from the second period on. Not a hockey fan but loved the game, although in fairness, I did fall asleep with three minutes to go, the U.S. down one, and missed their pulled goalie miracle goal with 25 seconds left to force overtime. C'est la vie - at least I wasn't watching ice dancing. Woke up just as the puck was being dropped for overtime, so I saw the U.S. lose - never saw a team quite so excited over winning a hockey game. Guys, you know it's just hockey, right? My favorite U.S. player was Rick Nash, who was a big, physical, long-armed player with good puck skills, who seemed to control play every time he was on the ice. The Captain later pointed out that Nash was actually on Canada. Whatever - I still loved him. Cap and I spent much of the next day lamenting the good old days when the main U.S. rival in the Olympics - and in life - was the as-yet unbroken Soviet Union, when they wore the sweet red CCCP jerseys. It was a simpler time back then - we may have hated the USSR, and they hated us, but there existed the mutual understanding that always exists between white people. They are Slavic, I think - that is pretty much white, isn't it? We may have hated them, but we knew where they were coming from - from whiteness - and we assumed that they wouldn't do anything too crazy because of it, and vice versa. Now the world is far more confusing - we don't know what the hell these Chinese are going to do, let alone the Koreans, or radical, racial Islamic terrorists. That's why we are so jittery as a country these days - when you can't even trust your enemies, then what?
Thursday against the Lakers!
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1) Is there such a thing as a pitiful win? Because that was pitiful. Miami squeaked by a 17 win Warrior team missing three starters, and barely escaped when Anthony Morrow's wide open look at a 3, down 2, inside of a minute to go, missed. Eric Reid, Tony Fiorentino, DWade, and Carlos Arroyo all made excuses about how it is dangerous to play against a team missing players and out of the playoff race because they are loose. You know what else is dangerous? Coming out with the defensive intensity of a milk carton. Goodness gracious, that was a brutal win.
2) It was mostly Dwyane Wade who won the game, without a great deal of help. Dwyane had 35 points on a ridiculous 15-23, with 12 assists, 6 rebounds, and 4 steals. Golden State didn't have anyone who could match up with him, and even if they did, it is even money Coach Don Nelson, who is the King of the Mail It In, and an absolute abomination to the sport of basketball, wouldn't play him. Over the last several years you couldn't possibly make less of an effort to win basketball games than Don Nelson has - he's a joke. Also worth mentioning, wore a dark burgundy t-shirt, fitting snugly over the giant man boobs, with a light gray suit jacket over it. It is a tossup as to what is worse, his coaching effort or his fashion "sense."
3) Change at the point guard spot: Rafer Alston started as usual, and played awfully again, especially on the offensive end. After 7 minutes he was gone - no return for Skip, and Carlos Arroyo started the second half. Carlos had 14, 5 and 5. Emcee Chalmers backed him up in the second half - Emcee was vaguely average. Carlos is the most efficient offensive point guard; Rafer is the best defender; Chalmers is second at both. None of them are starting NBA point guards - that's the problem. The Heat want Chalmers to blossom as a true NBA player, but his second year has been a step back. Odds are, Arroyo starts Tuesday with Emcee backing him up; but the move probably should be Arroyo as the starter, with Skip playing the backup minutes to give a defensive on-the-ball presence.
4) Beasley was okay - 15 points on only 6-14. Still looked indecisive and flat-footed. Wonder if the knee that he hyperextended a couple weeks back is still bothering him. He played only 21 minutes tonight - he is going to have to show more energy to push those minutes back up.
5) Okay, we got a good look at Warriors rookie Stephen Curry tonight. His dad, Dell, played in the NBA for a long time and was the best shooter that I have ever seen. If his jumper came out of his hand any softer, it would have been going backwards. His son Stephen is a little smaller and slighter than Dell was, but is also an incredible shooter, with a quick release, a deceptive handle, and a mature sense of how to run an offense from the point guard position. He had 18 points and 8 assists tonight on 7-17, after a slow start. Would easily be the best Heat point guard right now. Having seen all the NBA rookies multiple times, I don't think it is even close - I'd take Curry in a heartbeat. Tyreke Evans on Sacramento is going to win Rookie of the Year - he is a physical rock who bulls his way to rim at every opportunity, but I haven't seen him pass the ball yet. Not a guy you would want to play with. Brandon Jennings is a quicker point guard than Curry, but not in the same class as a shooter or scorer. Curry is the guy, for sure. Mature.
6) Several readers wrote in to ask if I watched the Gold Medal hockey game in the Olympics. Thanks for asking. Yes, yes I did - at least from the second period on. Not a hockey fan but loved the game, although in fairness, I did fall asleep with three minutes to go, the U.S. down one, and missed their pulled goalie miracle goal with 25 seconds left to force overtime. C'est la vie - at least I wasn't watching ice dancing. Woke up just as the puck was being dropped for overtime, so I saw the U.S. lose - never saw a team quite so excited over winning a hockey game. Guys, you know it's just hockey, right? My favorite U.S. player was Rick Nash, who was a big, physical, long-armed player with good puck skills, who seemed to control play every time he was on the ice. The Captain later pointed out that Nash was actually on Canada. Whatever - I still loved him. Cap and I spent much of the next day lamenting the good old days when the main U.S. rival in the Olympics - and in life - was the as-yet unbroken Soviet Union, when they wore the sweet red CCCP jerseys. It was a simpler time back then - we may have hated the USSR, and they hated us, but there existed the mutual understanding that always exists between white people. They are Slavic, I think - that is pretty much white, isn't it? We may have hated them, but we knew where they were coming from - from whiteness - and we assumed that they wouldn't do anything too crazy because of it, and vice versa. Now the world is far more confusing - we don't know what the hell these Chinese are going to do, let alone the Koreans, or radical, racial Islamic terrorists. That's why we are so jittery as a country these days - when you can't even trust your enemies, then what?
Thursday against the Lakers!
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