Heat 97 Raptors 94

6 Thoughts

1) Gut-check, meaningful win for Miami over Toronto. Miami is 40-34 with 8 games to play, are in sixth place in the East, and now hold a four game lead over eighth place Toronto with a split of the season series...

2) ...Minds were wrong for the better part of three quarters as Miami found itself down in a 17 point hole at home to a Toronto team that they always seem to have trouble stopping. And that's when the "subs" kicked in:

3) Sub # 1: as always, Udonis Haslem, continuing a run of outstanding basketball. If he and the power forward who starts ahead of him, Mike Beasley, were on an old school scale right now, Udonis' side would be all the way down to the bottom on the table, and Beasley would be up in the sky. Or, actually, would it be Udonis up in the sky, and Beasley on the table? Does good play weigh more than bad play? Irregardless...Udonis is playing great - had 11 fourth quarter points tonight, and 23 in the game on 10-11 shooting. Mike is playing great, also, if by "great" you mean that he is absolutely terrible. It didn't feel like it could get any worse than last game, but somehow it did in the first half when he shot 1-9. Then, that felt like the bottom...until he came out in the second half with a missed open 8 footer, and back-to-back horrific turnovers on careless passes. Got yakked with 7 minutes to go in the third quarter, and never returned. Look - God bless Mike, he's a dear, dear friend. But it is tough to put him out there right now. It's tough to imagine playing him in a playoff game, let alone starting him. Man, I don't know what to tell you...I wouldn't want to be Spo right now.

4) Sub # 2: Carlos Arroyo. He was third option all year at point guard. First he backed up Chalmers, then they brought in Rafer Alston, currently missing-in-action. Now Arroyo is the starter, and he is clearly the correct choice. He runs the offense efficiently without turning the ball over, makes the mid-range jumper, and tonight, with a minute to go in a tie game, hit a step back, top-of-the-key jumper with a hand in his face to win the game. Iced it with six straight free throws down the stretch. Tony Fiorentino and Eric Reid did all they could to jinx the free throws, by the way - after citing how strong his percentage from the line has been all season, Tony went "off the team," citing a game when Carlos was on Utah and made 10-10 from the line against Miami. M.Minutos was furious - don't tempt the jinx Gods, Tony...

5) Sub # 3: Joel Anthony. Jermaine O'Neal out with the sprained knee - not sure about the epaulets, didn't notice him on the bench. Joel, not normally the most efficient of offensive players, was one of the few guys who played well early, allowing Miami to hang around by shooting 6-6 in the first half for a career high 13 points. Hard to believe he hadn't scored 13 in a game before, actually. Quit while he was ahead and didn't take a shot in the second half, but his defense on Toronto star Chris Bosh was stellar throughout, hassling Bosh into an 8-20 shooting night, and just 19 points. Joel has carved out a nice little role for himself on this team, and it is always great to see hard work rewarded. He is light years ahead of where he was when he got to this team.

6) Top Five Black Guy Actors, right now:

5- Mekhi Phifer. Always great when he is sullen and brooding, but surprised everyone by being upbeat and likable in Eight Mile.

4- Denzel Washington. Predictably solid. Would like to see him get out of the big budget rut he is in, and do something unpredictable and interesting.

3- Michael Rappoport.

2- Richard T. Jones. You know, this guy:



Two thoughts on Jones. One, this photo is ironic, because what I was going to say before I even found it was that he is so good, he is like a black Brian Austin Green. Weird. Two, last night I was home alone with the boys, M.Minutos was out on the town (with, ironically, white people - she can't get enough of us), and I got sucked into watching, Two Can Get Married on tv, or something like that. You know, the Tyler Perry movie where he isn't dressed like a woman, he is playing a dude, although, honestly, not that well. Seemed a little uncomfortable and creepy. Actually, it occurs to me that I live with all black people - never looked at it like that before - if you are white, you might have no idea what this movie is. Basically, it is like The Big Chill, but with black dudes and gals. So, Richard T. Jones is playing this "playboy" kind of guy, who is married to Jill Scott (who is a chunky but cute popular jazzy R & B singer in real life for you whites out there). He is creeping with a woman in better shape - for some reason he brings his girlfriend to this retreat with his friends, which seems like a terrible idea if you are trying to keep it on the down low. Anyways, Jill Scott goes shopping with two other girls at one point of the movie, and the girls convince her to buy this lingerie because they tell her it will turn on Richard T. Jones. She is skeptical because she is very insecure about her weight, but they are like, No, no, he will really like it. By the way, Jill Scott is pretty; but, her girl friends (one played by Janet Jackson) are just the kind of girls to set you up on a date with someone and tell you, She has a really pretty face, and you are, like, Uh-oh. So, Jill Scott puts on the lingerie that night and comes into the bedroom where RTJ, as I like to call him, is reading on the bed. His eyes bug, not in a good way, and he is like, "What are you wearing," and she is like, "I thought you might like it," and he is like, "Why," and she is like, "My girlfriends told me you would like it," and he bursts out with a cruel, raucous laughter and goes, "HAHAHAHAHA - well, they lied! You look like you are wearing a damn tent!" It made me wonder if there was a take where he played it kind of like understated, and Tyler Perry, the director of the movie, was like, No, no, that is way too much like a real human being would act - I need less realistic. Wayyyy less. Anyways, the point is, he's a fantastic actor, and I give the movie a 10 out of 10.

1- Bunk.

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Off until Wednesday, see you then. Don't do drugs.

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Heat 87 Bucks 75

6 Thoughts

1) Oh my heavens, Miami is running roughshod through our great Midwest. Back-to-back blowouts to remain in sixth place in the tight, tight Eastern Conference playoff race. Just like last night in Chicago, this game was never really in doubt. Miami is now 39-34, the first time since November they have been five games above .500. Let's do this, then go to bed.

2) I don't care if you are a Republican; I don't care if you are a Democrat - on this night, we all have to agree, thank God we are putting in some health care. Bucks center Andrew Bogut (from Oz): out with a strained back. Heat center Jermaine O'Neal: strained a knee in the first quarter, left for the game. As former Heat philosopher Tim Hardaway once described a game with injuries to players on both teams, "sides is even." Udonis Haslem slightly sprained an ankle, but stayed in the game, moments before Mario "Emcee" Chalmers sprained his own ankle but also continued to play. Worst of all, late in the second quarter, on a scrum under the Heat basket, Bucks swingman Carlos Delfino stumbled awkwardly driving to the basket, fell onto his face while flipping up a crazy shot, and Udonis Haslem rebounded the ball and landed with not insignificant force on the back of Delfino's head and neck, driving him into the floor. Delfino had movement in his extremities, but had to be taken off on a stretcher. Not a good night for staying healthy.

3) Speaking of UD Haslem, he was awesome. Tied a career high with 18 rebounds, added 10 points on 4-6 shooting, and was generally rock-solid. Like always. No one is better than UD, no one plays harder, no one is more conscientious, and no one cares more about winning. And we say it all the time, but no one seems like a better person. As Delfino lay on the ground motionless under the basket for several minutes while attended to by (probably) Socialist government doctors, Haslem watched with extreme concern, apart from the rest of the team, who huddled with Coach Spo. He cares. But when Delfino was taken off the court, and the game resumed, what did UD do? Go right back to work. He's the best. Man, I hope they can find a way to bring him back next year.

4) In his postgame interview UD told Jax that he felt bad about landing on Delfino, and that you never want to hurt anybody out there on a basketball court. I think that is true of all players in the league. Ahh, except for maybe Kurt Thomas...

5) UD's buddy, the guy starting ahead of him at the power forward, the extremely, extremely enigmatic Michael Beasley, is on a run of terrible basketball right now that is not to be believed. He shot 3-9 for 8 points and 3 uncontested rebounds in 32 minutes tonight. His defensive rotations also looked very slow, very late, and often led to Bucks baskets, or Beasley fouls. Mike is already small for his position; he is already underathletic for his position. One thing he has to do is be creative and efficient offensively - it is his only NBA-level skill. But instead, his offensive has become unfocused, disjointed, and mostly characterized by bad decision-making leading to turnovers and a lot of missed, impossible shots. He is waving the ball around in one hand, or down beneath his legs on catches, holding it forever, making passes with one hand, and being indecisive. I challenge anyone to show me an NBA player getting regular minutes playing worse basketball over the past month. Part of his problem is that he is so awkward and indecisive that he is continually in foul trouble, and thank God for that because at least it gets him off the court more quickly. I am way, way out on Mike Beasley as a player right now, as much as I enjoy him as a person. I hate watching him play, and every time he goes out of the game I try to forget that he is on the Heat, at least until the next time Spo puts him back in. His trade value around the league this offseason has to be on zero - that's not going to help this summer. I've watched him play 150 plus games in his career now - I don't think he ever becomes a big-time, impactful player in the NBA. I hope I am wrong.

6) Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up a minute: do you mean to tell me 'Death Panels' are not part of the new health care law? Sarah Palin lied to me? Oh snap - that was the only part of the health care law that I liked! I knew something like this was going to happen...America hoodwinked again...

Heat 103 Bulls 74

6 Thoughts

1) Oooooh, big beatdown in Chicago, like passing a government-rampage-takeover of the health care system, baby! Four and a half game lead, and the season-series tiebreaker, on Chicago with twelve to play. That seems like it should be enough to get Miami in the playoffs. Socialismo o Muerte, Joakim Noah! Let's do it political-system style, acknowledging in advance that it is a terrible, terrible idea.

2) Running the show like Obama, accepting the double teams and semi-outrageous but predictable racially-coded criticism, looking them over, and then dropping the ball - or the bill - to open shooters like Jermaine O'Neal, Udonis Haslem (and...Nancy Pelosi?), was Dwyane Wade. He took only seven shots, making five, and scored 12 points. But his 10 assists led the way, along with 5 rebounds and 2 blocks in only 29 minutes. It was clearly uncool when Kirk Hinrich, during a third quarter timeout, claimed that Wade was born in Nigeria, and that sharing the ball with his less-gifted teammates was "tearing down the fabric that makes the NBA great." Man, those white guys from the midwest can get really, really angry!

3) Paying the role of Rahm Emmanuel, getting tou- alright, this is retarded. I don't really know anything about Rahm Emmanuel (or health care, or politics, for that matter) except that he seems like a complete putz. Short man's disease. Quentin Richardson is the opposite of a putz, and went to the block early and often, scoring 9 post-up points in the first quarter. Tonight was a TNT broadcast only night - always brutal. Kenny Smith and Barkley, at the game, spent a lot of time talking about how Miami never posts Quentin Richardson, which is just incorrect. They usually do post him when he has a mismatch - the problem is, at the small forward, he usually doesn't have a mismatch. Kenny and Charles never let things like not seeing the games, or flawed analysis, stop them from flapping their gums...juuussst like Republican Jim DeMint of South Carolina, who vowed that heath care would be Obama's Waterloo! We're back! See how we did that, we brought it right back around and finished, like a stumbling Mike Beasley drive in garbage time!

4) How is Derrick Rose like Sarah Palin? Inability to finish. 5-16 from the floor for DRose tonight.

5) In the Rush Limbaugh role? Chicago's Chris Richard. Why? They are both fat. Also, always funny to compare Rush Limbaugh to a black dude.

6) Okay, okay, enough, the game was terrible, over halfway through the first quarter. The Bulls have a ton of injuries and look like they have packed it in - didn't play hard. Streak now stands at one, after the 104 game streak ended Monday night against New Jersey. Thanks to M.Minutos for filling in.

A lot of people wrote in to mourn the loss of the streak and ask how the Wilco concert was. Okay, that's a lie - a lot of people did write in, but mostly to say how great it was that I didn't write the blog that night, and that they prefer M.Minutos. Of course, that was before the brilliant political analysis you've read here tonight!

The Wilco show was great, they are great, and it was a great performance. Tough to say that they were better, though, than the sweet, sweet sandwiches we got from famed South Beach sandwich walkup La Sanwicherie on 14th Street before the show. Prosciutto, tomato, and mozzarella for Thor; Salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, and pickles for Dos. Stinky!

Best moment at the show itself: when I went to get us two beers just after intermission, ordered two Coronas since we had already been drinking those, and was handed, like literally two fifty ounce cans of beer. I was stunned - each can of beer represented about three days worth of liquid intake for me. I wanted to ask if they had anything smaller, but really, could there possibly be a gayer move than sending back any type of drink because it is too big? I mean, especially if you are a dude? So I paid - $12 each! The Captain pointed out when the bartender put them on the bar I should have been like, "Is that that biggest can you have? Hmmm. I think I am gonna need two then..." Look, in the final analysis, it didn't stop us from drinking them, and if anything, it just made the singalong in "Jesus, etc," even a little mo' dreamier.

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Cheers, and see you tomorrow night in beautiful downtown Milwaukee! Where I have actually been - M.Minutos is from there!!!

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Heat 99 Nets 89

Dos Minutos 3/22/10

Heat 99 Nets 89

Guest blogger: M. Minutos

Dos is on a mandate with Thor at a Wilco concert, so I’m taking over the keyboard. This was a dull game (I blame the Nets), but we never let that stop us here at D. M. Headquarters:

Fun Facts

As usual, Eric Reid was full of stats to start the game. This is one of his favorites lately: Q Rich: 35 triples in March – most in the league. Thanks, jinx – the Pres missed his first 5 triples and didn’t hit one until late in the second quarter and made just 2 of 7 for the game.

In other news:
·Nets have lost 14 straight at home.
·Nets haven’t won on their home court since January.
·Nets are 3-31 at home for the year.

Okay, great.

·Joel Anthony is 3rd in the NBA in blocking shots off the bench, says Tony (Chris Anderson and Tyrus Thomas are ahead of him). And, more importantly, Tony noted, he’s the best shot blocker off the bench, in minutes played, in the league. A lot of qualifiers there, not to mention the tortured syntax that makes it sound like Joel is literally blocking shots from the bench. Having said that, I’m happy for Joel. Keep up the good work, Natural Butterfingers. Keep up the good work.

·Chris Quinn entered the game for the Nets with 2 minutes left in the first quarter. He was traded from the Heat to the Nets in January – notably, the first (and hopefully last) trade between the Heat and Nets. As I wondered if he hates what we did to him, Tony claimed that Quinn “was a very popular player when he played in Miami” and “everybody” in Miami misses Quinny. Hmm. Eric went on to claim that Quinn has kept in close contact with several Heat players, particularly D. Wade. “They fostered quite a friendship during Quinny’s first three and a half seasons in the league.”

Say what? It would be tough to think of a more unlikely friendship. What do they talk about? Do they hang out together, and if so, doing what? Where is Heat sideline reporter extraordinaire, Jason “Jax” Jackson?? He’s just the man to get to the bottom of this.

Terrence Williams vs. Jermaino – Battle of the Ankles

In the first half, Jermaino couldn’t be stopped: 7/8, 14 points 1:30 into the second. Uh oh – Jermaino called for a blocking foul on a Chris Humphries drive. Jermaino grabbed his ankle after the collision – he may need another IV treatment while he sits with his second foul.

With 6:09 left in the third, JO got his revenge. Jermaino took a dubious charge and during the collision, Terrence Williams lands right on JO’s foot. Sprained ankle, goodbye Terrence. Maybe Jermaino will share some of his IV fluids with him.

Bad news for TW: Near the end of the third quarter, Jax reported that x-rays were being taken and the diagnosis of the ankle injury had been extended to a foot injury. Not sure what that mean, but it sounds bad. He might actually need IV fluids.

Battle of the Ankles score: Jermaino 1, Terrence Williams 0.

Old School
Tonight’s Old School Kia Card: Buck Williams, affectionately known as Funk Williams at Dos Headquarters, though no one can quite remember why. Funk was the 3rd pick in the 1981 draft and played 8 glorious season with the Nets. His given name: Charles Linwood Williams, which is not nearly as catchy as Funk Williams.



Eric, waxing nostalgic about the Buck Williams era of the Nets, called him a “Udonis Haslem-type of guy, only with more size.” I think I saw Udonis, out for the game with a bad ankle, wince at the comparison. By the way, Funk just turned 50 this month- Happy Birthday, Funk.

Nothing But Nets (I’m auctioning this off as the title for Funk William’s memoirs. Call me, Funk.)

·Heat got off to a bad start – halfway through the first quarter the Nets couldn’t miss from 3, Wade hadn’t scored and the Nets were up 17-14.

·Nets up 32-25 after the first. Mildly annoying but I’m fairly confident things will turn around, not because we are that good, but because the Nets are that bad.

·Just after the D. Wade hit his stride and the Heat mustered up the energy to take a 3-point lead at halftime, Terrence Williams made a half-court shot at the buzzer. Nets 53-52 at the half. Now I’m annoyed.

·Eric Reid, after the Heat went on a 14-2 run to go up 66-59 with 7 minutes to go in the third quarter: “The Nets’ biggest problem this year, other than losing-” Hold it right there, Eric. Losing is their biggest problem. No need to go on.

·After the game, Coach Spoelstra said: "By the second quarter we tightened it up defensively. "That was the difference in the game. You look at a team like the Nets and their record, and you're very deceived by it."

I think I can speak for the gang here at Headquarters when I say the we weren’t deceived by the record. We knew exactly what the Nets had in store for us.

Dos will be back Thursday, and not a moment too soon. I don’t know how he does this more than 80 times per year. Someone should check him for PEDs.

M. Minutos

Heat 77 Bobcats 71

6 Thoughts

1) That wasn't good; but it was tough. Miami never found any offensive flow; shot only 20 free throws - 4 at the end on stop-the-clock fouls - compared to 34 for Charlotte; made only 36% from the floor; got only 14 points from Dwyane Wade; would have been blown off the court early on if not for Quentin Richardson's six - six - first half threes; and couldn't pull away from a team that made only six - six - second half baskets. How did they win? 29.2%. That's what they held Charlotte to from the floor. Miami also won the rebounding battle by 7 boards, forced 15 turnovers, and blocked 13 - 13 - shots, including 5 by DWade. Moved a half game in front of Charlotte for 6th - that's where they need to be. And they have to beat Charlotte outright - can't finish in a tie - because even with this win, they lost the season series to the Bobcats 3-1.

2) What do Heat center Jermaine O'Neal and new Bobcats owner Michael Jordan have in common? They are all-time NBA greats? Okay, not exactly. They both date Cuban "models" from Kendall who are half their age? I hope not, because Jermaino is only 31. They are both prematurely balding black men? Ahh, yes - but's not what we are going for. Oh snap, I know! They both love to wear military garb! Jermaino out with a sprained ankle, and in with the epaulets! As always! M.Minutos can't figure out if it is the same coat every time, or if he just has a lot of coats with epaulets. He is making 20+ million dollars this year - I hope it is multiple coats. And Michael Jordan - resplendent in a puke-colored yellow pullover, slacks, and Federalista cap! Looking a little over-chunky, and somewhat slurry and milky-eyed. Still, somewhat youthful for a guy in his late 50s, though. Wait, what? He's only 47? Oh...yikes.

3) Jermaino out, Joel-o in. Joel Anthony was really, really good, with 9 points, 9 rebounds, and 3 blocks. He generally ranged around the paint, deterring drives. Geez, the other team shot 29%, the center has to get some love. Also, cooked oxtail at halftime with Jax. Seemed like he knew a little about cooking, but with his hands, I suggest staying away with the knives. M.Minutos doesn't call him a "natural butterfingers" for nothing.

4) Best play of the game: with 3 seconds to go in the first half, Bobcats center Tyson Chandler cut down the lane, received a pass in stride from a guard, and went up to dunk with authority...Oh snap!-Here comes Dwyane Wade, all 6'3" of him, from the side, flyyyying, to reject the ball with force, leaving Chandler slightly wide-eyed in amazement. Every year Wade leads the league in shots blocked by a guard - add Tyson Chandler to the highlight reel. There will be others.

5) As they do almost every game, Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino praised the in-game work of their buddy, stat guy Steve LeBeau, who feeds them numbers during the game to aid the broadcast. Showed him on camera, and gave the viewers a new piece of information: Lebeau runs a camp in the summer. Wait - you mean like a stat camp? Oh snap! "Guys - when a guy gets to five, say, free throws, the first four I write with lines in a row, but on the fifth one I like to put a diagonal line through the first four, and then repeat the process again. When I look back at that stat, I know: the row with the diagonal line, that's five, and I can add up those numbers very quickly...let's all try that..."

6) Health Care/Entitlement Debate, point # 622:
So I am at a new library on Lantana Boulevard today, researching Nazis, or, more specifically, the British government's policy towards Jewish refugees during World War II (in brief: it wasn't generous). The library is a year or two old, built by the county in a lower-middle class neighborhood. It is a really beautiful place: small, but bright, and airy, lots of natural light, great ergonomically correct seating, free wifi - so excellent to see something so well-done in a community that needs quality amenities. I take a break out in front of the library from Eleanor Rathbone's hectoring of the British Home Office and there is a sweet redneck-y couple sitting out on the front bench. The neighborhood is probably mostly Hispanic, part black, with some rednecks thrown in. This couple, they were rednecks - just to be clear - that's not meant to be pejorative, some people are white dudes, and some people are black dudes, and these two were kind of white, but, you know...So the dude, he is like 40, has a mullet, and bad ink, but not, like, jailhouse bad ink like Richard Jefferson; and his wife, well, I'm sure you can imagine her. So the guy leans across to this black woman sitting on the bench across from them - clearly he had been discussing something with his wife which I hadn't heard, and now he was going outside the marriage for advice. He says to her, "how many movies can you check out here at one time," and the woman says, "ten." How she knew that, I don't know. But the guy immediately shakes his head in displeasure and grumbles, "Ten? At the other library you can check out twenty..." This redneck dude needs twenty movies at a time? Really? Twenty? Oh snap, I knew this was going to happen!...Freakin' Obama...Where is Joe The Plumber when you need him?!!

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On a serious note - very serious - tonight's game makes 104 straight games that I have watched in entirety. But this is the end of the line. Monday I will be going to a Wilco concert in Miami with Dos Minutos' favorite reader, Thor, and there is a 99% chance I will be too sticky on something to watch the game afterwards. I could take PEDs to continue the streak - like Cal Ripken did when he 'broke' Lou Gehrig's record - but I have too much respect for the game to do that. It has been an honor representing you - we'll be back on Thursday for the Bulls on TNT - let's hope the Clapping Man hasn't disposed of Doug Collins by then - and for a review of the Wilco show. Until then, Godspeed, and see if you can watch twenty movies in one day...
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Magic 108 Heat 102 ot

6 Thoughts

1) Tough loss. Miami played a strong first half, a desultory 20 minutes in the second half, then nearly stole the game with a a late rush engineered by...Mik- just kidding - Dwyane Wade, of course. Had a last shot to win in regulation, didn't, and lost in overtime. Now 35-34 on the season. Every game has all sorts of playoff implications for Miami from now until the end of the season. The reality is that Chicago is so banged up, that Miami is almost certain to qualify for the post-season. But finishing 7th or 8th gets you Orlando or Cleveland, respectively. Those are not winnable series. But sixth or fifth - and fifth is pretty much gone - gets you Atlanta or Boston. Those are potentially winnable series, with a few breaks.

2) Bad choice # 1: Tied with 15 seconds to go, Miami came down the court for the last shot, opting not to take a time out - that was a good choice. It went awry from there. Orlando jumped Wade at midcourt, and he dropped the ball to Mike Beasley at the foul line. Dorell Wright's man had doubled Wade, so he was spotting up at the three point line for a wide open shot. Beas eschewed that and went left against Dwight Howard - got a half-step on him, but instead of trying to force his way to the rim, maybe getting fouled, he settled for his patented I'm-going-to-lean-back-and-try-to-bank-a-fall-away-runner-off-the-glass-and-avoid-all-possible-contact shot. It works fairly effectively, but it's a bad choice against Dwight Howard. Shot got blocked out of bounds. I like that Mike tried to make a play, but it was a bad decision. He needed to either: 1) reverse the ball to Wright for a jumper; 2) try to get his shoulder past Howard and force his way to the rim; or 3) take one dribble, pull up for a rhythm jumper. By the way, the order in likelihood of success, probably 3, 1, 2 - realistically if he tried to bull his way past Howard, he would have had the ball stuffed into his ear hole. It was a bad night overall for Mike - hasn't looked good for two or three weeks. Kept losing Rashard Lewis in the corner late for open triples, drawing Dwyane Wade's ire. Seems down.

3) Bad choice # 2: after the blocked shot, Miami had the ball side out of bounds with 3.4 seconds to go, and called a timeout. I don't think I am playing the result when I say I'd like to see a last play in a situation like this where there are at least options. Spo does the same thing every time in this situation - try to run Dwyane Wade off a series of screens to catch the ball on the move coming down the sidelines. Wade is so fast and strong that getting the ball in to him is never a problem. The problem is that the other team is always going to switch over the screens, and by the time Wade catches it, there going to be two or three guys surrounding him. Tonight one of the guys was Dwight Howard - Wade caught the ball, and he's only 6'3" and when he is surrounded by length, with no time to put it on the floor for more than a dribble or two, he isn't going to get a great shot. In this game, he got no shot at all, really, just a falling-away, leaning-around throw from 18 feet that hit the side of the backboard. Orlando is good, and well-coached - Stan Van Gundy isn't Byron Scott, he knows the ball is going to Wade, and made sure to surround him. How about entering the ball to Wade, and running a cutter down the lane so he has the option to try to hit him? How about Beasley screening for Wade, then spotting up and get the ball entered to him for a jumper - though Dwyane Wade might sign elsewhere as soon as that play was drawn up. I don't know - it just felt like a bad decision...

4) I don't want to jinx it, because there is a good chance Miami will play Orlando in the playoffs, but Jermaine O'Neal is becoming Dwight Howard's kryptonite. Jermaino blocked a season high 5 shots - 4 of them by Dwight Howard, including a jump hook (!) early, and a dunk attempt late. Jermaino has played him tough all year long, and is a big reason Miami split the season series at two games apiece. Late in the season, Jermaino has taken to telling the media that "I still know how to play this game," in a performance eerily reminiscent of Alonzo Mourning, who after every good game he played in the championship '06 run, would inevitably get the question about how it felt to be playing well after all his injuries and illnesses, and he would just shake his head slowly, sigh, get mock-exhausted, and tell the reporter: "Look...don't question whether I can still play this game, I mean, come on, man." Jermaino is heading right to that territory. He's like old man Alonzo now - I mean, without the rebounding...

5) It was nationally televised game, TNT network only, Marv Albert and always nervous Doug Collins in town to provide the coverage. Marv is solid - the best ever, probably, although he has a weird thing now where he can't seem to tell what player any foul is on. In fairness, as M.Minutos pointed out, he's eighty. Doug Collins just gets nervous - I mean for the players and coaches, not to be on tv - and starts worrying that a team is struggling the first time they get down more than a basket. It easy to see why he quickly wore out his welcome at all his coaching stops - had a reputation of being very frustrating to play for, what with the panic meter perpetually dialed up to a minimum of 8.5. The highlight of the game tonight? Not Wade's 36, or Vince Carter's numerous big plays down the stretch. It was during the timeout with 40 seconds to go in regulation, and Miami up one, when a young skinny Latino-looking Mike Piazza clone, who was sitting directly behind the TNT announcing table, clearly had some problem with Collins, and spent the entire timeout, with the camera on Collins and Albert, staring at Collins with laser-like focus, while rhythmically clapping as hard and quickly as he could at Collins. Not sure if Collins tried to play through the kid's foursome on the golf course today, or he is just a psychotic killer. Doesn't even matter- totally hilarious either way.

6) Anyone who knows anything knows that both The Captain and Plumber love jazz. One major difference: The Captain really does love it; Plumber just said he loved it one afternoon when he was visiting me and M.Minutos in Newport. If I recall correctly, and I like to think that I do, he directed the comment at us when we expressed skepticism that he would enjoy going out to a jazz brunch, as he was asserting. I know he wasn’t drunk, because he doesn’t drink, but I think he was little hyped up because he was in New England – it’s nice there. But the Captain really likes jazz. He moved down to Florida thirty years ago to hang out at the beach, chase girls, and rock out to, ummm, jazz. Whoa, slow down, Corey Haim! But I digress. In honor of my boys, The Captain and Plumber, I am going to give you my five favorite jazz artists of all-time:

5) tie: John Coltrane and Miles Davis. One of them made the all-time jazz classic, “A Kind of Blue,” or “A Shade of Blue,” or something like that. Not sure which one did it, so I’m putting them both on the list.

4) Dave Brubeck. Not totally sure he is jazz, or that he is even a real person, but one day recently The Captain was saying something about jazz, and I said, “like Dave Brubeck,” and he laughed, so I think he is.

3) Spyro Gyra. I think they are like "fusion-jazz." I also think that I would kill myself if I had to listen to "fusion-jazz" for more than, like, six minutes.

2) Kevin Eubanks from The Tonight Show.

1) Yes. “Roundabout,” boy!

Spurs 88 Heat 76

6 Thoughts

1) If you are going to lose, that's the way to do it: get killed early, and take the suspense out of it so we can all relax. Down 27 - late window-dressing run made the score respectable but Miami never really threatened. Six game home winning streak over. Charlotte lost a surprise game in Indiana, so the Heat didn't lose any ground to them. Chicago losing in Memphis as we write...Let's identify the problems in tonight's game. We'll go quick - no need to dwell on the loss, and we are answering a pressing question tonight down in #6.

2) Miami couldn't get an open, clean look at the basket.

3) When Miami did get an open, clean look at the basket, they couldn't make the shot.

4) Spurs guard George Hill could not miss on a series of early ridiculously tough shots - and he's a not particularly great shooter.

5) It was Noche Latino night, or whatever it is called, in the NBA - and you have to believe Miami got just a little too geeked about once again donning the El Heat jerseys. By the way, even thought it is called Latino night, we are having it again on Thursday - go figure...

6) Okay, that's that, now on to important business...So, of course, the question I keep getting over and over these days is: Why MMA? Why now?

Well, first of all, I am probably going to retire from this blog after the season, so I will need something to occupy my spare time, and mixed martial arts fighting has always been a passion of mine, just one that I didn't talk about much. Secondly, while I am a little bit older now, I do feel like I finally have the muscle maturity to excel at the sport. I am 6’1”, 175 pounds – to be honest, I don’t follow MMA that closely, so I’m not sure how that is going to stack up against some of the big-time competitors, size-wise, but I imagine pretty well. Someone asked me the other day if I am more of a “striker,” or if I rely on my “ground game” – again, I don’t follow the sport that closely, so I’m not too sure what those things are. Basically, my strategy for my fights is to be really physical: I like to get in my opponent’s face and stay there, kind of bully him around the ring. Wait - what? Oh, right…around the octagon. Then, when I have worn him down a little, I will go for the knockout. Seems like that should work. As for training, I am putting in 3-5 hours a week at the House of Pain Gym, in West Palm Beach. I try to go most evenings after work for about an hour, if I’m not too tired. But, of course, never on Friday, because that is the Sabbath. I bring The Captain, and he puts me through my paces – usually about 10 minutes of stretching, then a good 25 minutes of cardio, followed by some super-intense Pilates. We try to stay away from the weights – don’t want to get too muscle-bound. Had my first sparring match last week – The Captain kept screaming at me to “use the Arm Bar,” but I didn’t know what that was, so it was super-distracting, and eventually the girl choked me out. That was just my first fight, though, so I'm not discouraged...

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Another tough game Thursday vs. Orlando, then a huge showdown Saturday against co-playoff aspirant Charlotte.

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