6 Thoughts
1) This game wasn't even remotely as close as the score indicated. The Heat led by 12 after one quarter, by 22 at halftime, by 27 after 3, and by 30 with 6 minutes to go. I'd like to take some pleasure in it, but I can't. You know why? No Al Horford. Al Horford!
2) This was the first game of the back-to-back-to-back, and finally the Heat got a big lead and Coach Spo felt comfortable enough to let KJ James and Dwyane get some extra rest: 30 minutes for KJ (a more-than-solid 23, 13, 6), and only 24 (great!) for Dwyane (an aggressive 21, 5, and 3, with 2 steals and a block). Both guys came out with energy - KJ, in particular, pushed the ball as hard as he could early, getting to the line, and creating opportunities for others. For one night, anyways, he figured out if he went hard early, and blew a team out, he could rest late.
3) What the bejeezus got into Chris Bosh tonight? Side note: I'm still long "o-ing" Bosh. I'd make the obligatory "he also only played 32 minutes tonight, although any amount is fine since he doesn't play hard enough to get tired" joke, except, tonight: hard playing! His shot wasn't there, only 4-14, for 14 points, but that was the only weak part of his game. He had a four possession sequence late in the second quarter which went like this: first, he introduced a modification of the "statue defense," in which he gets to the right spot to defend the rim, then stands with arms straight up, motionless like a statue, and hopes the offensive player doesn't step around him and make an easy layup. On a Joe Johnson drive, Bosh got to the right spot in front of the rim, got into the statue position, and then jumped ("The Jumping Statue!"), causing Johnson to miss a wild shot, which led to a Heat runout for a hoop at the other end, which Bosh leisurely watched from the backcourt as if to say, "My work here is done." Except it wasn't done. On the ensuing Atlanta possession, he snatched a defensive rebound, and then swung an aggressive elbow at Hawks center Zaza Pachulia, backing him off his usual "wait-until-the-other-team-gets-a-rebound-and-then-try-to-smash-it-loose-with-a-karate-chop-to-the-forearm" strategy. Then, on the next Hawks possession, he leaped...okay, he jumped...okay, he hopped...into the air, and smacked a Marvin Williams layup away from the rim, leading to another runout hoop. Finally, on the next Heat possession, he rolled sharply down the lane, reached out behind him to catch a poorly aimed KJ James pass, one-handed it, sliced between Zaza and Josh Smith, and dun- okay, power-layup'd - the ball into the hoop, giving the Heat a 24 point lead, and essentially ending the game. A first half double-double for Chris (10 and 10), and 16 rebounds on the night. I haven't witnessed a big man performance this aggressive and effective in a Heat-Hawks game since...you guessed it: Al Horford!
4) Every once in while, someone will write to us and say: "Oh, you never point out when the refereeing is bad and it favors the Heat!" That's a great point, it's almost as if this is a blog about the Miami Heat...If you want to hear someone consistently providing the Hawks perspective, I recommend, "Two Minutes, Y'all." Still, it is a fair point, so here goes: The Heat shot 31 free throws, the Hawks 7. This is an outrage! I berate you, referees! I BERATE YOU!!!
5) Okay, let's address a very, very serious halftime show matter. We are skipping the part where UD read about Alex Haley ("You my family!") for Black History Month, and UD still had braids, almost as if Sunsports had recycled last year's Black History Month readings. Let's get to the part when, after assistant coach David Fizdale read about black basketball pioneer Earl Lloyd (on tape, from an undetermined date and location), he was interviewed just before the start of the second half by Sunsports host Jason Jackson. Now, Coach Loc, as we like to call him (he doesn't look like Tone Loc, not exactly, but he's a Tone Loc type), seems bright and affable, and gives good information during these interviews. He's certainly more likable during these segments than Heat assistant Ron Rothstein, who as we have noted in this space before, once intentionally lost a game while serving as interim head coach, a transgression for which I have never forgiven him. However, he's not nearly as popular as assistant Keith Askins. You know why? No catch phrase! Coach 'Skines ends every interview with Jax with a soulful, "Right on!" What does Coach Loc end with? Usually, "Thank you," or sometimes, "thanks," or maybe, "okay." Coach Loc needs a catch phrase! Something to generate a little buzz around his halftime interviews - you know, create a little brand for himself. Here are some suggestions that M.Minutos and I came up with quickly - feel free to take any of these, Coach Loc: "True Dat!" "Over and out, Jax!" "Mmmm-hmmmm!" "You damn skippy!" "Stay black!" "I'm electric, and if you touch me, you might get shocked!" "Hey Ya!" "Roger that, Captain!" "Fo' shizzle!" "How u?"
6) With Ruffles and Pringles so readily available, who would ever eat Lays? Blecchhhh.
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Back tomorrow night for a road game against the very best team in the NBA, at least against us, the Milwaukee Bucks. If you need me before then, I'll be working on my own brand, with my new catch phrase: "Who wants to bleep Dos Minutos?!!!"
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Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Heat 106 Wizards 89
6 Thoughts
1) I'd like to say that any player on the Heat team other than Shane Battier had anything to do with this win, but, honestly, they didn't. The Heat (and the Wizards) sleepwalked through three quarters, and Miami led by 7. In the fourth quarter, Coach Spo started Battier, Mike Mil-lar, Norris Cole, UD, and Bosh. AND BATTIER WENT CRAZY, TIPPING BALLS, STARTING BREAKS, MAKING SPOT UP THREES, GOING BACK DOOR FOR LAYUPS, AND THEN, WHEN HE WAS REALLY, REALLY FEELING IT, TOOK NICK YOUNG INTO THE POST, BACKED HIM IN FOR SEVENTEEN SECONDS, ALLOWING ME TIME TO TELL M.MINUTOS 'HERE COMES THE DORKY HOOK SHOT,' AND THEN DROPPED THE DORKY HOOK SHOT RIGHT IN!!!! TEN QUICK POINTS, HEAT RAGED OUT TO A 17 POINT LEAD, BALLGAME, PUT ON THE FULL-BODY COMPRESSION SUIT, CRANK UP THE JIMMY BUFFETT, GET OUT OF TOWN!!! THANK YOU, MR. BATTIER!!!!!!
2) Or, in calmer terms, 6-9 (3-6 triples) - 15 points and 5 boards in 23 minutes for Battman.
3) For the second or third straight game, KJ James was in an absolute sleepwalk. I've never seen anyone look so tired on a basketball court. He looks completely out of gas to me. Finished 6-14 from the floor for 18 points, with 9 assists, but only 2 rebounds. And there were a lot of rebounds to be had - the Wizards (38% for the game) aren't exactly a bunch of dead eye marksmen. Because the bench put the game away early, KJ only played 33 minutes, which is good. Dwyane, who scored 26 on 11-18, only played 31, and he looked tired, too. On one play in the third quarter, he pushed the ball up the court in transition, got stripped from behind by John Wall, then turned around and watched the other 9 players go back the other way, like he couldn't imagine having to run full-speed back. It's frustrating to watch...
4)...But you know what? It's isn't just KJ and Dwyane, and not just Coach Spo grinding them into the ground. Check out these final scores from around the league tonight: Clippers 78-Sixers 77; Raptors 86-Celtics 74; Hawks 89-Magic 87 (in ot); Hornets 94-Blazers 86; Knicks 92-Lakers 85. These are low, low scores. Everyone all around the league is tired all the time. The Heat were terrible tonight - except for Shane Battier - and they killed this team. Yes, the Wizards are bad, but they were at home, with one of their only decent crowds of the year, and they jogged around with the same minimal effort that the Heat did. Thanks a lot, David Stern! Thanks to your stupid lockout, the quality of basketball is weak - appreciate it!
5) Play of the game: there were a few to choose from. Dwyane Wade had a ridiculous spinning 360 degree floater over a vaguely engaged JaVale McGee; Chris Bosh had a tip dunk that he totally whiffed off the front iron, but bounced up in the air and went in; and Emcee Chalmers returned after a night off with a sore hand and committed a turnover approximately 4 seconds into the game - he's back! But I'm going to have to go with the play in the fourth quarter when KJ James received a pass out on the perimeter, and got whacked so hard in the head by a Wizard that it knocked his headband off. KJ looked over at the referee Tony Brown in disgust, since no foul was called - why would it be a foul, a guy only hit another guy in the head and knocked off his headband? - whereupon Brown shrugged sheepishly, then went over and picked KJ's headband up off the court, and spent the next few possession running up and down the court with it! Good idea - why worry about reffing the game? Make sure you keep that headband clean!
6) Finally got to watch "Drive" in its entirety. This was a fine film. It is an edgy story about the seedier side of Los Angeles, far away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. It stars the always excellent Albert Brooks as a sleazy low-level mobster, and Walter White from "Breaking Bad" as a hard-luck mechanic. About three minutes in, you start feeling uneasy, a total "I don't like the direction this is going" feeling, and it never lets up. Awesome tension and drama. Anything else? Hmmm, let me think for second, did I forget anything important about this movie? Oh, yes: YEAHHHHHH, GET IT RYAN GOSLING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO BE IN A MOVIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE COOL AS SHIT AND WHEN ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU, JUST GIVE A VAGUE, KNOWING, WORLD-WEARY SMILE AND DON'T SAY A WORD! YEAHHHH, ILL!! AS!!! SHIT!!! ON A SCALE OF 1-10, I GIVE THE MOVIE A 100, AND I GIVE RYAN GOSLING A 1000!!!!!!!
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Next up is the worst stretch on the schedule: three straight games on the road, beginning Sunday in Atlanta (followed by Milwaukee Monday, and Indiana Tuesday). If you need me before then, I'll be chilling so hard like Gosling, and if someone asks me if I want, like, a glass of water, I'll pause for like nine seconds, smile wearily with a far away look in my eyes, and say nothing. Maybe - maybe - I'll say softly, "okay." But only maybe, if I feel like it. See you Sunday. Maybe. If I feel like it.
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1) I'd like to say that any player on the Heat team other than Shane Battier had anything to do with this win, but, honestly, they didn't. The Heat (and the Wizards) sleepwalked through three quarters, and Miami led by 7. In the fourth quarter, Coach Spo started Battier, Mike Mil-lar, Norris Cole, UD, and Bosh. AND BATTIER WENT CRAZY, TIPPING BALLS, STARTING BREAKS, MAKING SPOT UP THREES, GOING BACK DOOR FOR LAYUPS, AND THEN, WHEN HE WAS REALLY, REALLY FEELING IT, TOOK NICK YOUNG INTO THE POST, BACKED HIM IN FOR SEVENTEEN SECONDS, ALLOWING ME TIME TO TELL M.MINUTOS 'HERE COMES THE DORKY HOOK SHOT,' AND THEN DROPPED THE DORKY HOOK SHOT RIGHT IN!!!! TEN QUICK POINTS, HEAT RAGED OUT TO A 17 POINT LEAD, BALLGAME, PUT ON THE FULL-BODY COMPRESSION SUIT, CRANK UP THE JIMMY BUFFETT, GET OUT OF TOWN!!! THANK YOU, MR. BATTIER!!!!!!
2) Or, in calmer terms, 6-9 (3-6 triples) - 15 points and 5 boards in 23 minutes for Battman.
3) For the second or third straight game, KJ James was in an absolute sleepwalk. I've never seen anyone look so tired on a basketball court. He looks completely out of gas to me. Finished 6-14 from the floor for 18 points, with 9 assists, but only 2 rebounds. And there were a lot of rebounds to be had - the Wizards (38% for the game) aren't exactly a bunch of dead eye marksmen. Because the bench put the game away early, KJ only played 33 minutes, which is good. Dwyane, who scored 26 on 11-18, only played 31, and he looked tired, too. On one play in the third quarter, he pushed the ball up the court in transition, got stripped from behind by John Wall, then turned around and watched the other 9 players go back the other way, like he couldn't imagine having to run full-speed back. It's frustrating to watch...
4)...But you know what? It's isn't just KJ and Dwyane, and not just Coach Spo grinding them into the ground. Check out these final scores from around the league tonight: Clippers 78-Sixers 77; Raptors 86-Celtics 74; Hawks 89-Magic 87 (in ot); Hornets 94-Blazers 86; Knicks 92-Lakers 85. These are low, low scores. Everyone all around the league is tired all the time. The Heat were terrible tonight - except for Shane Battier - and they killed this team. Yes, the Wizards are bad, but they were at home, with one of their only decent crowds of the year, and they jogged around with the same minimal effort that the Heat did. Thanks a lot, David Stern! Thanks to your stupid lockout, the quality of basketball is weak - appreciate it!
5) Play of the game: there were a few to choose from. Dwyane Wade had a ridiculous spinning 360 degree floater over a vaguely engaged JaVale McGee; Chris Bosh had a tip dunk that he totally whiffed off the front iron, but bounced up in the air and went in; and Emcee Chalmers returned after a night off with a sore hand and committed a turnover approximately 4 seconds into the game - he's back! But I'm going to have to go with the play in the fourth quarter when KJ James received a pass out on the perimeter, and got whacked so hard in the head by a Wizard that it knocked his headband off. KJ looked over at the referee Tony Brown in disgust, since no foul was called - why would it be a foul, a guy only hit another guy in the head and knocked off his headband? - whereupon Brown shrugged sheepishly, then went over and picked KJ's headband up off the court, and spent the next few possession running up and down the court with it! Good idea - why worry about reffing the game? Make sure you keep that headband clean!
6) Finally got to watch "Drive" in its entirety. This was a fine film. It is an edgy story about the seedier side of Los Angeles, far away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. It stars the always excellent Albert Brooks as a sleazy low-level mobster, and Walter White from "Breaking Bad" as a hard-luck mechanic. About three minutes in, you start feeling uneasy, a total "I don't like the direction this is going" feeling, and it never lets up. Awesome tension and drama. Anything else? Hmmm, let me think for second, did I forget anything important about this movie? Oh, yes: YEAHHHHHH, GET IT RYAN GOSLING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO BE IN A MOVIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE COOL AS SHIT AND WHEN ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU, JUST GIVE A VAGUE, KNOWING, WORLD-WEARY SMILE AND DON'T SAY A WORD! YEAHHHH, ILL!! AS!!! SHIT!!! ON A SCALE OF 1-10, I GIVE THE MOVIE A 100, AND I GIVE RYAN GOSLING A 1000!!!!!!!
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Next up is the worst stretch on the schedule: three straight games on the road, beginning Sunday in Atlanta (followed by Milwaukee Monday, and Indiana Tuesday). If you need me before then, I'll be chilling so hard like Gosling, and if someone asks me if I want, like, a glass of water, I'll pause for like nine seconds, smile wearily with a far away look in my eyes, and say nothing. Maybe - maybe - I'll say softly, "okay." But only maybe, if I feel like it. See you Sunday. Maybe. If I feel like it.
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Magic 102 Heat 89
6 Thoughts
1) Well, that wasn't too good. In what is likely to be the last game Miami ever plays against Dwight Howard in a Magic uniform, the Heat came out on the second night of a back-to-back with tired legs, couldn't make a shot, were lazy defensively, and worst of all, had to endure a hot shooting night from the Magic: 17-42 triples! Dang! And M.Minutos fell asleep for the second straight night! It happens - take the beating and move on...
2)...except Coach Spo would not just take the beating and move on. I love Spo; I hate people who make random criticisms of Spo every time Miami loses. Spo didn't lose the game; the players lost the game. But it seemed pretty apparent, to me anyways, that Miami didn't have it when they got down 15 halfway through the first quarter. But okay, they battled back to down 3 at halftime, only to watch the lead balloon back up to high double digits early in the third quarter. When the third quarter ended with the Heat down 16, there is no way in hell Wade, KJ James, or Bosh should have gone anywhere near the court in the fourth quarter. The schedule is insane this shortened season, and Miami was in the first night of its most daunting stretch: 6 games over the next 8 nights, all on the road, with three games in a row at one juncture. This was a night to take a long-term view of the season, to rest legs, and to keep perspective on the most important thing: to be as healthy and as fresh as possible come playoff time. Instead, Miami never made a serious run, and Wade (36), KJ James (39!), and Bosh (37) all played wayyy too many meaningless minutes. That was an error in judgement. I love Spo, but that over-competitive and silly. If I were my dad, Pat Riley, I'd be really pissed.
3) KJ looked exhausted - he could use a couple of nights off, in my opinion. He's earned them. Just couldn't get the jumper to fall at all, and finished with just 17 points (though, in fairness, he had 10 assists). In fact, Miami's only offense all night was the irrepressible Dwyane Wade, who kept ending up one-on-one in space against Dwight Howard, dribbling around him, and dunking the ball - 33 points on 15-24 from Dwyane...
4)...and it's time to say goodbye, for now, to Dwight Howard. The next time Miami plays against him, he'll probably be on New Jersey, or the Lakers, or somewhere else. He's always been a good guy to play against as an in-state rival. He is a great player, he has fun on the court, and has always been a good winner and loser. Miami's usually had good success against him, but tonight his numbers were great: 25 points, 24 rebounds, although if it's possible to have a polite and quiet 20-20 game, he did. Orlando still hopes to convince him to commit to stay when his contract expires at the end of the season, but Howard appears to be considering other options. That's where I come in. I've tried to make this point other times, in other ways, but let's try this one more time, just to help Howard in his decision-making process. Presenting "Dos Minutos' Least Favorite American Cities!" 1) Orlando; 2) everywhere else seems at least reasonably good by comparison! The end!!! Enjoy Brooks Lopez, Orlando - you're going to love him!!!
5) Emcee Chalmers missed the game tonight because he caught his hand on a jersey last night and injured it. Or, as we like to call it here at Dos Minutos, "The Mike Mil-lar." Then, tonight in the second half, guess who else came up with a "Mike Mil-lar?" That's right, you guessed it, obviously: Mike Mil-lar!!! Luckily, KJ James also seemed to lightly sprain his ankle during some meaningless fourth quarter minutes. Here we go with the injuries again!
6) Santorum on the climb! Rick Santorum is charging, and guess who was lucky enough to see about three minutes of one of his stump speeches the other day? Yes, sir, the biggest Milt Romney fan on the planet - me. That's probably pretty faint praise, by the way - not sure how many big Milt Romney fans are out there right now. Anyways, Santorum had an awesome little meeting, from what I saw. "Your choice in this election comes down to two things," he shouted, in what sounded like his campaign catch phrase, "One: do you absolutely fear and despise gay people? And, two: do you want everybody in our country to have to conform to the exact same social values, like they do in Communist China?" That is a "yes" and "even yesser" for me! Better, then he held an auction for his tie! Like, literally, he took off his tacky-looking, shiny red tie (red - like a Communist!!!), signed the back of it, then planned to auction it off to raise money for charity, or his campaign, or for straight people, or something. Wow - what an opportunity! I would like to start the bidding at "You-pay-me-$200-to-take-that-fashion-mistake-off-your-hands-and-throw-it-in-the-trash!" Santorum fever - it's catching (like, maybe - just maybe - homosexuality, if you spend too much time around gay people)!!! Watch out!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game in Washington against the Bullards. This is, of course, BH and Taz' favorite team, and I can only pray that they can pull themselves away from their umpteenth viewing of "Death to Smoochy" long enough to attend this game. If you need me before then, I'll be auctioning off my summer-y, pink and blue madras tie over at the Five Guys on Congress Avenue, just south of Gateway in Boynton Beach. See you Friday!
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1) Well, that wasn't too good. In what is likely to be the last game Miami ever plays against Dwight Howard in a Magic uniform, the Heat came out on the second night of a back-to-back with tired legs, couldn't make a shot, were lazy defensively, and worst of all, had to endure a hot shooting night from the Magic: 17-42 triples! Dang! And M.Minutos fell asleep for the second straight night! It happens - take the beating and move on...
2)...except Coach Spo would not just take the beating and move on. I love Spo; I hate people who make random criticisms of Spo every time Miami loses. Spo didn't lose the game; the players lost the game. But it seemed pretty apparent, to me anyways, that Miami didn't have it when they got down 15 halfway through the first quarter. But okay, they battled back to down 3 at halftime, only to watch the lead balloon back up to high double digits early in the third quarter. When the third quarter ended with the Heat down 16, there is no way in hell Wade, KJ James, or Bosh should have gone anywhere near the court in the fourth quarter. The schedule is insane this shortened season, and Miami was in the first night of its most daunting stretch: 6 games over the next 8 nights, all on the road, with three games in a row at one juncture. This was a night to take a long-term view of the season, to rest legs, and to keep perspective on the most important thing: to be as healthy and as fresh as possible come playoff time. Instead, Miami never made a serious run, and Wade (36), KJ James (39!), and Bosh (37) all played wayyy too many meaningless minutes. That was an error in judgement. I love Spo, but that over-competitive and silly. If I were my dad, Pat Riley, I'd be really pissed.
3) KJ looked exhausted - he could use a couple of nights off, in my opinion. He's earned them. Just couldn't get the jumper to fall at all, and finished with just 17 points (though, in fairness, he had 10 assists). In fact, Miami's only offense all night was the irrepressible Dwyane Wade, who kept ending up one-on-one in space against Dwight Howard, dribbling around him, and dunking the ball - 33 points on 15-24 from Dwyane...
4)...and it's time to say goodbye, for now, to Dwight Howard. The next time Miami plays against him, he'll probably be on New Jersey, or the Lakers, or somewhere else. He's always been a good guy to play against as an in-state rival. He is a great player, he has fun on the court, and has always been a good winner and loser. Miami's usually had good success against him, but tonight his numbers were great: 25 points, 24 rebounds, although if it's possible to have a polite and quiet 20-20 game, he did. Orlando still hopes to convince him to commit to stay when his contract expires at the end of the season, but Howard appears to be considering other options. That's where I come in. I've tried to make this point other times, in other ways, but let's try this one more time, just to help Howard in his decision-making process. Presenting "Dos Minutos' Least Favorite American Cities!" 1) Orlando; 2) everywhere else seems at least reasonably good by comparison! The end!!! Enjoy Brooks Lopez, Orlando - you're going to love him!!!
5) Emcee Chalmers missed the game tonight because he caught his hand on a jersey last night and injured it. Or, as we like to call it here at Dos Minutos, "The Mike Mil-lar." Then, tonight in the second half, guess who else came up with a "Mike Mil-lar?" That's right, you guessed it, obviously: Mike Mil-lar!!! Luckily, KJ James also seemed to lightly sprain his ankle during some meaningless fourth quarter minutes. Here we go with the injuries again!
6) Santorum on the climb! Rick Santorum is charging, and guess who was lucky enough to see about three minutes of one of his stump speeches the other day? Yes, sir, the biggest Milt Romney fan on the planet - me. That's probably pretty faint praise, by the way - not sure how many big Milt Romney fans are out there right now. Anyways, Santorum had an awesome little meeting, from what I saw. "Your choice in this election comes down to two things," he shouted, in what sounded like his campaign catch phrase, "One: do you absolutely fear and despise gay people? And, two: do you want everybody in our country to have to conform to the exact same social values, like they do in Communist China?" That is a "yes" and "even yesser" for me! Better, then he held an auction for his tie! Like, literally, he took off his tacky-looking, shiny red tie (red - like a Communist!!!), signed the back of it, then planned to auction it off to raise money for charity, or his campaign, or for straight people, or something. Wow - what an opportunity! I would like to start the bidding at "You-pay-me-$200-to-take-that-fashion-mistake-off-your-hands-and-throw-it-in-the-trash!" Santorum fever - it's catching (like, maybe - just maybe - homosexuality, if you spend too much time around gay people)!!! Watch out!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game in Washington against the Bullards. This is, of course, BH and Taz' favorite team, and I can only pray that they can pull themselves away from their umpteenth viewing of "Death to Smoochy" long enough to attend this game. If you need me before then, I'll be auctioning off my summer-y, pink and blue madras tie over at the Five Guys on Congress Avenue, just south of Gateway in Boynton Beach. See you Friday!
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Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Heat 107 Cavs 91
6 Thoughts
1) Well, that was incredibly boring! M.Minutos fell asleep! Just a run o' the mill home win. Cavs kept it close for a while, Miami had it dialed up to about 3 out of 10 on the effort meter, then halfway through the fourth quarter, went to the Wade-KJ James-UD-Miller-Bosh closing unit and blew Cleveland out. No one is overly satisfied with how Miami is playing - you wouldn't exactly say they are completely focused, or even strongly focused. I would say they are somewhat focused. But you can't win anything in February, and 19-6 is 19-6, the best start in franchise history. Let's go.
2) Twins: Dwyane 9-17, 8-9 free throws, 26 points and 6 assists, 4 rebounds, 3 steals; KJ James 9-16, 6-7 free throws, 24 points and 6 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals. Mario Chalmers: every other point! I guess, that's, umm...57!!!
3) Nah, but Emcee did survive the jinx - we praised his shooting here last game, and figured he'd break a backboard or concuss a fan with an errant jumper tonight. But he stuck 4-9 triples, missing his last two on a late possession where he heat-checked himself - twice! - after making two in a row. 5-11 for 14 points for Chalmers overall. Not even too many super-retarded fouls - the game was so boring he didn't even bother to foul people.
4) Play of the game: in the 4th quarter, with Miami starting to stretch it out, very white and plodding Cavs forward Luke Harangody, formerly of Notre Dame, missed his third shot inside of one inch en route to a 1-9 shooting night. Mike Mil-lar, who had a season high 9 rebounds, grabbed the ball in traffic, waved it over his head, and though he was surrounded by Cavaliers, decided he was going to try to hail mary the ball all the way down the court to a basket-hanging Shane Battier. Miller couldn't get any oomphfff on the pass, and it careened crazily down the court as the Cavs chased after it. Battier waited and waited for it to get there, pleadingly. Finally the ball and two Cavaliers all arrived at Battier at the same time - Battier caught the ball, slowly spun around as he was enveloped by the two Cavs players, and tried to flip it in the basket. Remember, Battier can't jump, so he was literally flipping it through a crowd of arms. The ball spun around the rim, teetered on the edge, and then suddenly, KJ James came thundering down the lane going about 190 miles an hour, leaped, appeared to hang in midair for an extra beat until the ball cleared the rim, then reached out with a giant right hand and tomahawked the ball back through the basket with extreme force! Holy Moly! Goodness Gracious. Next time, Shane Battier, do that!
5) West Palm Beach native, and Dwyer grad, Alonzo Gee started for the Cavs tonight at guard, and played a nice, aggressive game. 17 points for Alonzo. He usually comes off the bench for Cleveland. Did Cavalier coach, Byron Scott, decide to start him as a treat for Gee and his hometown fans? Not exactly: "We didn't have nobody else." Okay! Still - nice game, Alonzo!
6) Well, it's time for one of our favorite features, Mr. Tommy Wade's Video Corner! Take it away, Tommy Wade.
Dear Mr. Dos Minutos,
My heart stops every time that Bosh dunks or whenever mario tosses an uncatchable ball to Wade or KJ.
Since when did dunking or oop-dee-doops become such dangerous activities? Only in miami.
In the following video, is an example of bosh dunking the ball w reckless abandon. It was a, "Yeahhhh....OMG NOOooooo" moment. I thought he was injured from the way he landed. Wade and KJ were on the same page as well. They rushed to the scene as if Chris snapped in half like a gingerbread man...
Anyways, i have an idea. I know bosh hasn't been playing well recently. Instead of making fun of chris bosh in #5 of your column. Maybe we could pull a "Pat Riley motivational tactic":
I've deliberately chosen a suitable motivational speaker
Maybe you could pass this email along to your Dad.
Cheers.
Your biggest fan.
Tommy Wade.
Dos says: "As always, you killed it, Tommy Wade! This kid's speech is no lamer than 'Fifteen Strong!' I'll pass it along to my dad!"
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Tonight's game was the first of 6 in 8 nights, the next 5 on the road, including a road back-to-back-to-back. Ugh. We play tomorrow in Orlando. If you need me before then, I'll be showing this video to my little neighbor B, who is 9 years old, but still can't ride a bike: "B, if you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike!"
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1) Well, that was incredibly boring! M.Minutos fell asleep! Just a run o' the mill home win. Cavs kept it close for a while, Miami had it dialed up to about 3 out of 10 on the effort meter, then halfway through the fourth quarter, went to the Wade-KJ James-UD-Miller-Bosh closing unit and blew Cleveland out. No one is overly satisfied with how Miami is playing - you wouldn't exactly say they are completely focused, or even strongly focused. I would say they are somewhat focused. But you can't win anything in February, and 19-6 is 19-6, the best start in franchise history. Let's go.
2) Twins: Dwyane 9-17, 8-9 free throws, 26 points and 6 assists, 4 rebounds, 3 steals; KJ James 9-16, 6-7 free throws, 24 points and 6 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals. Mario Chalmers: every other point! I guess, that's, umm...57!!!
3) Nah, but Emcee did survive the jinx - we praised his shooting here last game, and figured he'd break a backboard or concuss a fan with an errant jumper tonight. But he stuck 4-9 triples, missing his last two on a late possession where he heat-checked himself - twice! - after making two in a row. 5-11 for 14 points for Chalmers overall. Not even too many super-retarded fouls - the game was so boring he didn't even bother to foul people.
4) Play of the game: in the 4th quarter, with Miami starting to stretch it out, very white and plodding Cavs forward Luke Harangody, formerly of Notre Dame, missed his third shot inside of one inch en route to a 1-9 shooting night. Mike Mil-lar, who had a season high 9 rebounds, grabbed the ball in traffic, waved it over his head, and though he was surrounded by Cavaliers, decided he was going to try to hail mary the ball all the way down the court to a basket-hanging Shane Battier. Miller couldn't get any oomphfff on the pass, and it careened crazily down the court as the Cavs chased after it. Battier waited and waited for it to get there, pleadingly. Finally the ball and two Cavaliers all arrived at Battier at the same time - Battier caught the ball, slowly spun around as he was enveloped by the two Cavs players, and tried to flip it in the basket. Remember, Battier can't jump, so he was literally flipping it through a crowd of arms. The ball spun around the rim, teetered on the edge, and then suddenly, KJ James came thundering down the lane going about 190 miles an hour, leaped, appeared to hang in midair for an extra beat until the ball cleared the rim, then reached out with a giant right hand and tomahawked the ball back through the basket with extreme force! Holy Moly! Goodness Gracious. Next time, Shane Battier, do that!
5) West Palm Beach native, and Dwyer grad, Alonzo Gee started for the Cavs tonight at guard, and played a nice, aggressive game. 17 points for Alonzo. He usually comes off the bench for Cleveland. Did Cavalier coach, Byron Scott, decide to start him as a treat for Gee and his hometown fans? Not exactly: "We didn't have nobody else." Okay! Still - nice game, Alonzo!
6) Well, it's time for one of our favorite features, Mr. Tommy Wade's Video Corner! Take it away, Tommy Wade.
My heart stops every time that Bosh dunks or whenever mario tosses an uncatchable ball to Wade or KJ.
Since when did dunking or oop-dee-doops become such dangerous activities? Only in miami.
In the following video, is an example of bosh dunking the ball w reckless abandon. It was a, "Yeahhhh....OMG NOOooooo" moment. I thought he was injured from the way he landed. Wade and KJ were on the same page as well. They rushed to the scene as if Chris snapped in half like a gingerbread man...
Anyways, i have an idea. I know bosh hasn't been playing well recently. Instead of making fun of chris bosh in #5 of your column. Maybe we could pull a "Pat Riley motivational tactic":
I've deliberately chosen a suitable motivational speaker
Maybe you could pass this email along to your Dad.
Cheers.
Your biggest fan.
Tommy Wade.
Dos says: "As always, you killed it, Tommy Wade! This kid's speech is no lamer than 'Fifteen Strong!' I'll pass it along to my dad!"
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Tonight's game was the first of 6 in 8 nights, the next 5 on the road, including a road back-to-back-to-back. Ugh. We play tomorrow in Orlando. If you need me before then, I'll be showing this video to my little neighbor B, who is 9 years old, but still can't ride a bike: "B, if you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike!"
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Sunday, February 5, 2012
Heat 95 Raptors 89
6 Thoughts
1) My house smells like slow-roasted pork butt and cayenne. Ahh, pork and cayenne, smells like...a methodical 6 point win over a pesky Toronto team! Ohhh, this is gonna taste good, let's write this blog quick and get to pork and football (minus the football - I can't lie, I'll never make it through the game).
2) Last game was all about the balanced scoring, more of a scoring buffet for everyone. Today was a more typical Heat game: KJ James (adding the "James" to the "KJ" - it's a Hubie Brown thing) was the pork, the main ingredient, with 30 points on 17 shots, and 9 rebounds. Dwyane was the spice, the cayenne, with 25 on 14 shots. Two more blocks for Dwyane - have Eric Reid or Tony Fiorentino ever pointed out on the broadcast what a good shot-blocker Dwyane is for a guard? Not too sure, can't remember them ever mentioning it. Bosh was like the tortilla: a little flat today, on 12 points, but had 8 boards, 4 assists, and was active defensively. Udonis Haslem was like the homemade guacamole - added that little something extra to take it all up a notch with 8 points, including 2 big jumpers late, and 9 rebounds in 26 rock solid minutes. He's starting to come around - two straight games in which he has made shots down the stretch. Looking more like UD...
3) Do you want me to potentially ruin Mario Chalmers' season? Do you want me to risk it? Okay, I'm going to risk it. He's generally the Heat's nachos: looks delicious, but you really shouldn't go there, it's not good for you. But, honestly, he is shooting the crap out of the ball this year. He made 3-5 triples again today, and he's over 46% from deep on the season. He's also over 50% from the floor overall, and he's 80%+ from the line. Yes, he still turns the ball over too much. Yes, he commits insane fouls on jump shooters at the end of the shot clock. Yes, he dribbles around the court like he just stepped off an hour on the tilt-a-whirl; and, he's the worst alley-oop passer of all-time. But he is really, really spacing the floor this year, and I always trust him on open catch-and-shoots. Now, get ready for the ice age of all shooting cold spells in 3, 2, 1...Sorry, Emcee...
4) Well, the Big Cat, Jamal Magloire, was back in town with the Raptors today. He didn't injure anyone with a ridiculously hard foul, that's the first thing, that was a huge win for the Heat team. What he did do was positively light up everyone associated with the Heat organization. Big Cat was one of the most popular players the Heat have ever had - every player has always loved him, and both the pre and post game handshakes turned into a reception line worthy of Prince William's wedding (not Harry's when he gets married - no one is going to want to shake that snarky, gingy's hand). Literally, the sight of the Big Cat back in The Trip was the happiest I've ever seen KJ James - as Cat engaged in conversation with Joel Anthony during pre-game warmups, KJ suddenly ran over, shoved Butter out of the way, and with a huge genuine smile (not the fake, but polite, over-smile he always gives Jax during post-game interviews) embraced Cat and shared a few warm words. But then Cat went right back and resumed his conversation with Joel. He didn't care that KJ James is a superstar and that Butter is a human greased-up turnover. He treats everyone with the same respect and dignity, no matter who they are. You know why? What the hell is wrong is with you, I just told you: he's Big Cat Magloire!!!
5) Well, it was the annual kids day for the Sunsports broadcast. Jax' kids were there - they do a super-solid job, although I didn't like it when Jax aborted his son's post-game interview with KJ to ask his own questions. Not sure he did a better job than his son was doing. Also, it was a little disturbing that former kid day star Joey Brandler, who usually does a quarter of play-by-play with Eric and Tony, had apparently been fired to open up a spot for Heat beat reporter Ira Winderman's son. Nepotism is a heller-bitch - better you learn that now, Joey Brandler. Although to be fair, Jake Winderman was extremely stellar. Plus, he openly campaigned for Eric Reid's job: "This is where I want to be; this is where I have wanted to be my whole life," Winderman asserted during his second quarter announcing stint. It's nice to see a kid with ambition. Tony Fiorentino, predictably, got a big chuckle out of that. Not chuckling? The man whose job Jake was trying usurp, Eric Reid: "You can go to hell, kid."
6) Great friend of the blog, DW, writes in to ask: "How did you meet M.Minutos? She seems a lot cooler than you." You know what, DW? You can go to hell, too. Still, though, it is a fair question, one that deserves answering. I think some readers already know this story, so feel free to skip it if you want. Basically, I was like 22, living in the city, after I had failed out of college. I was totally having a hard go of it. I couldn't get a regular job in corporate America, because I had, you know, failed out of school. My band sucked because I had no talent, and refused to work with anyone who did. I was broke, with no prospects, and no friends. One evening, I was sitting in a fuckin' TGIF because they had free appetizers at happy hour - I'd go in, buy the cheapest draft beer they had, and then sit there gorging myself on the free appetizers so that I wouldn't starve to death. While I was scarfing down crappy chicken wings, I saw this supercute little black girl sitting a few seats down from me. It was pretty empty in there - it was a fuckin' TGIF! I kept looking over until we "accidentally" made eye contact, and then I was, like, "Hey," and she was like, "Hey," and we started talking. She was just getting ready to finish college, and she had come to the city to visit her boyfriend, who had a job at a music label. So instantly, I fucking hated him, because he had this supercute girlfriend, and a job at a record label - it made it even worse that it was in the hip hop division, so I couldn't even, like, try to make a connection to him for my band. But the more we talked, the more it came out that their relationship wasn't going well, and that she had kind of had it with him. She was telling me, You know, it's just kind of run its course. And they had had an argument, and she left his apartment, and had come to this bar to chill out. She was leaving the next day, and she was, like, "I don't even want to go back to his apartment tonight, I just want to hang out in the city until my flight tomorrow," and that sounded promising, but I didn't want to show it or anything, and then she was like, "No, I shouldn't really be here, I should go back to his apartment," and that hurt my heart, but with whatever bravado I could muster up in my beaten down state, I was like, "If you don't want to be here, leave then." And there was a long pause, and we looked at each other. And I was feeling it - I felt sure I was feeling it, that it was really, really, really real, and I couldn't believe that she wasn't feeling the same thing. I couldn't be that wrong. And then she said - she said, "You wanna go for a ride? I got sixteen hours to burn, and I'm gonna stay up all night." Then we fell in love, then we got married. The end. You know what's so weird, though? Greg Dulli wrote a song about it, check it out:
1) My house smells like slow-roasted pork butt and cayenne. Ahh, pork and cayenne, smells like...a methodical 6 point win over a pesky Toronto team! Ohhh, this is gonna taste good, let's write this blog quick and get to pork and football (minus the football - I can't lie, I'll never make it through the game).
2) Last game was all about the balanced scoring, more of a scoring buffet for everyone. Today was a more typical Heat game: KJ James (adding the "James" to the "KJ" - it's a Hubie Brown thing) was the pork, the main ingredient, with 30 points on 17 shots, and 9 rebounds. Dwyane was the spice, the cayenne, with 25 on 14 shots. Two more blocks for Dwyane - have Eric Reid or Tony Fiorentino ever pointed out on the broadcast what a good shot-blocker Dwyane is for a guard? Not too sure, can't remember them ever mentioning it. Bosh was like the tortilla: a little flat today, on 12 points, but had 8 boards, 4 assists, and was active defensively. Udonis Haslem was like the homemade guacamole - added that little something extra to take it all up a notch with 8 points, including 2 big jumpers late, and 9 rebounds in 26 rock solid minutes. He's starting to come around - two straight games in which he has made shots down the stretch. Looking more like UD...
3) Do you want me to potentially ruin Mario Chalmers' season? Do you want me to risk it? Okay, I'm going to risk it. He's generally the Heat's nachos: looks delicious, but you really shouldn't go there, it's not good for you. But, honestly, he is shooting the crap out of the ball this year. He made 3-5 triples again today, and he's over 46% from deep on the season. He's also over 50% from the floor overall, and he's 80%+ from the line. Yes, he still turns the ball over too much. Yes, he commits insane fouls on jump shooters at the end of the shot clock. Yes, he dribbles around the court like he just stepped off an hour on the tilt-a-whirl; and, he's the worst alley-oop passer of all-time. But he is really, really spacing the floor this year, and I always trust him on open catch-and-shoots. Now, get ready for the ice age of all shooting cold spells in 3, 2, 1...Sorry, Emcee...
4) Well, the Big Cat, Jamal Magloire, was back in town with the Raptors today. He didn't injure anyone with a ridiculously hard foul, that's the first thing, that was a huge win for the Heat team. What he did do was positively light up everyone associated with the Heat organization. Big Cat was one of the most popular players the Heat have ever had - every player has always loved him, and both the pre and post game handshakes turned into a reception line worthy of Prince William's wedding (not Harry's when he gets married - no one is going to want to shake that snarky, gingy's hand). Literally, the sight of the Big Cat back in The Trip was the happiest I've ever seen KJ James - as Cat engaged in conversation with Joel Anthony during pre-game warmups, KJ suddenly ran over, shoved Butter out of the way, and with a huge genuine smile (not the fake, but polite, over-smile he always gives Jax during post-game interviews) embraced Cat and shared a few warm words. But then Cat went right back and resumed his conversation with Joel. He didn't care that KJ James is a superstar and that Butter is a human greased-up turnover. He treats everyone with the same respect and dignity, no matter who they are. You know why? What the hell is wrong is with you, I just told you: he's Big Cat Magloire!!!
5) Well, it was the annual kids day for the Sunsports broadcast. Jax' kids were there - they do a super-solid job, although I didn't like it when Jax aborted his son's post-game interview with KJ to ask his own questions. Not sure he did a better job than his son was doing. Also, it was a little disturbing that former kid day star Joey Brandler, who usually does a quarter of play-by-play with Eric and Tony, had apparently been fired to open up a spot for Heat beat reporter Ira Winderman's son. Nepotism is a heller-bitch - better you learn that now, Joey Brandler. Although to be fair, Jake Winderman was extremely stellar. Plus, he openly campaigned for Eric Reid's job: "This is where I want to be; this is where I have wanted to be my whole life," Winderman asserted during his second quarter announcing stint. It's nice to see a kid with ambition. Tony Fiorentino, predictably, got a big chuckle out of that. Not chuckling? The man whose job Jake was trying usurp, Eric Reid: "You can go to hell, kid."
6) Great friend of the blog, DW, writes in to ask: "How did you meet M.Minutos? She seems a lot cooler than you." You know what, DW? You can go to hell, too. Still, though, it is a fair question, one that deserves answering. I think some readers already know this story, so feel free to skip it if you want. Basically, I was like 22, living in the city, after I had failed out of college. I was totally having a hard go of it. I couldn't get a regular job in corporate America, because I had, you know, failed out of school. My band sucked because I had no talent, and refused to work with anyone who did. I was broke, with no prospects, and no friends. One evening, I was sitting in a fuckin' TGIF because they had free appetizers at happy hour - I'd go in, buy the cheapest draft beer they had, and then sit there gorging myself on the free appetizers so that I wouldn't starve to death. While I was scarfing down crappy chicken wings, I saw this supercute little black girl sitting a few seats down from me. It was pretty empty in there - it was a fuckin' TGIF! I kept looking over until we "accidentally" made eye contact, and then I was, like, "Hey," and she was like, "Hey," and we started talking. She was just getting ready to finish college, and she had come to the city to visit her boyfriend, who had a job at a music label. So instantly, I fucking hated him, because he had this supercute girlfriend, and a job at a record label - it made it even worse that it was in the hip hop division, so I couldn't even, like, try to make a connection to him for my band. But the more we talked, the more it came out that their relationship wasn't going well, and that she had kind of had it with him. She was telling me, You know, it's just kind of run its course. And they had had an argument, and she left his apartment, and had come to this bar to chill out. She was leaving the next day, and she was, like, "I don't even want to go back to his apartment tonight, I just want to hang out in the city until my flight tomorrow," and that sounded promising, but I didn't want to show it or anything, and then she was like, "No, I shouldn't really be here, I should go back to his apartment," and that hurt my heart, but with whatever bravado I could muster up in my beaten down state, I was like, "If you don't want to be here, leave then." And there was a long pause, and we looked at each other. And I was feeling it - I felt sure I was feeling it, that it was really, really, really real, and I couldn't believe that she wasn't feeling the same thing. I couldn't be that wrong. And then she said - she said, "You wanna go for a ride? I got sixteen hours to burn, and I'm gonna stay up all night." Then we fell in love, then we got married. The end. You know what's so weird, though? Greg Dulli wrote a song about it, check it out:
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Time to go get this pork roast out of the oven. We'll be back on Tuesday for a game against Cleveland. If you need me before then, I'll be following Jake Winderman on twitter. Happy Superbowl!
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Friday, February 3, 2012
Heat 99 Sixers 79
6 Thoughts
1) Everything's back to normal, everything's okay again. Not with the Heat - I mean my tv is fixed, cable guy came out and re-wired some stuff. Picture looked crys-tal, I felt like I was in Philadelphia at the game! Oh, and the Heat won, too, a good clinical effort against an athletic and spunky Sixers squad that had been playing great at home. Here's the rundown: in #2 we are going to highlight a new closing lineup; in #3 look at the balanced scoring effort; and in #4 review KJ's (remember: King James) performance in the new halftime game show, "Black History Month." Then in #5 we'll make fun of Elton Brand, like we always do when we play the Sixers; and then wrap it up with a video in #6. Let's get to it, we've got some pork to roast this weekend!
2) Okay, so when Miami put this team together last year, obviously, the closing group they had in mind, the way they wanted to end (not necessarily start) games was this: Wade and KJ at the guards handling the ball, with Miller, Bosh, and Haslem up front. That's a great floor-spacing group: Wade and KJ can make plays for jumpers for any of the other three. And though that group lacks bulk in the frontcourt, Wade, KJ, and Miller all rebound so well that the glass should not be a problem. Then Miller instantly got hurt, then Udonis got hurt, and until game two of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Bulls, that group did not even play one second of basketball together. And even then, Miller was playing with a broken thumb, and a shoulder that needed surgery, and UD had a broken foot. This year, with the addition of Battier, and the excellent shooting of Chalmers, the rotations have been a work in progress, and we had still never seen this specific lineup. With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Heat up 8, Coach Spo went to it - for a basketball nerd like myself, it was super-exciting, I noticed it the second they came on the court, and couldn't wait to see how it worked. Annnnd, 5 minutes later the Heat had gone on a 15-0 run, were ahead by 23, and the game was over! Wade and KJ handled the ball up top, and found Miller for a jumper, and then UD for back to back jumpers to push out ahead. Open shots came easily for this group. On the defensive end, the advantage was even more pronounced. 6'2" guard Lou Williams is the Sixers crunch time iso go-to scorer - LeBron took him and erased him. Williams ended the game 6-17 from the floor. Wade took Sixers point guard Jrue Holiday, and suddenly his penetrations down the lane were a lot less comfortable. And everyone rebounded. It obviously won't be this easy with this group every game, but this is the goal, I think. This is how you want to close games out, with this group.
3) Balanced scoring tonight: Dwyane had 26 on 20 shots (and only 1 turnover); KJ had 19 points 12 rebounds, 8 assists (and only 2 turnovers); Chalmers had 13 (3-4 triples); Miller (2-3 triples, over 55% for the season) and Bosh each had 12; and Norris Cole chipped with 11, on 3 threes of his own. That's rare for the Heat - usually Wade, KJ, and Bosh dominate the scoring. But tonight those guys created for others.
4) Okay, so "Hot Seconds With Jax" ended last week, with KJ as the champion. The next halftime game show is "Black History Month," in which each player takes a turn reading a monologue about a famous, you know, black person. Last game, Dwyane kicked things off by reading about the Williams sisters, Venus and the other one. Positives: Dwyane's monologue was incredibly long, seemed like 20 minutes. His stamina was impressive. Negatives: I didn't like his outfit, it was kind of a black-on-black shirt and suit, with a weird gray collar-y thing. Dwyane's a great dresser - this outfit just didn't work. Another huge negative: the Williams sisters are totally annoying. Overall, I gave Dwyane a B. Tonight, KJ was up, and he was excellent. He read on Joe Louis. As you might expect, I am skeptical that KJ has ever heard of Joe Louis. Or boxing, for that matter. But you never would have known that the way he cranked it out - solid reading skills, did a good job, really sold Joe Louis' career, especially the poignant part at the end when Joe Louis has IRS problems, and had to try to make a comeback way too late in life. I also never knew that Ronald Reagan gave special permission for Joe Louis to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery when he died - thanks for the knowledge, KJ! Also, KJ loves a scarf, like a winter scarf, and he sported a sweet one during his segment. I mean, I don't like to have to declare a winner when you are talking about educating people about black history, but we have to. And right now, KJ is in the lead.
5) Oh, Elton Brand. You are the very definition of a #1 overall draft pick bust. In fairness, you were extremely poorly coached in college, but you certainly have made minimal effort to get into basketball shape over the past few seasons. You are a long-armed, pot-bellied anvil in the middle of both the Sixers offense and defense. Tonight you started, but played only 23 minutes, went 0-3 from the floor, and were outscored by The Warden, Joel Anthony, 2-0. Your highlight came on the first possession of the third quarter when the Sixers ran a set designed to get you a post touch, you spent 17 seconds trying to shove Chris Bosh out of the way so you could get to the spot, at one point turning your back to the ball that was supposed to be entered to you, just so you could continue pushing. Finally, you cleared enough space to receive the pass, two steps further out on the wing than you were supposed to, "elevated" for a jumper, then crashed a line drive off the rim. The next time down the court, you missed an 8 footer equally badly, and instead of trying grab the rebound, instead put two hands in Butter's back and shoved him past the ball while someone else on the Heat started a fast break. The next time down, someone else on the Sixers shot a layup, but as the ball was spinning on the rim, about to go down, you inexplicably reached up and lightly touched it, then landed and instantly waived your hands wildly, like, "I didn't touch that," which compelled the referees to whistle you for offensive goaltending and waive off the basket. It was really quite a stretch, Elton Brand. It was really something.
6) So this condensed schedule is super-cutting into time to do other things. For instance, I haven't listened to a new band in weeks and weeks. I know there is one album I sooo want - Twilight Singers live in New York - but the Russian website doesn't have it yet. Heaven forbid I pay like $10 for it at itunes. But, here is a song that I absolutely have totally been loving since I first heard it this summer: "Nothing But a Miracle" by Diane Birch and Darryl Hall. I hate to admit this, but I love, love, love Hall & Oates! C'mon, dude, I don't care how cool, or how detached, or how ironic you are, you have to love Hall & Oates. That is real, classic, filthy illness. And it only gets better with time. So now Hall has this tv show (started as a webshow) where he has musicians visit him at his pastoral estate in New York, and they eat cool food and jam. This young gal, I don't really know anything about her, but you can tell she is feeling all over that 70s vibe so hard, and at the end of the song she bursts out smiling, like, "Holy crap, Darryl Hall just sang my song!" So, so good:
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Well, we'll be back on Superbowl Sunday with a game against Toronto. I'm not even going to lie: although I am super-excited about slow-roasting a pork butt for Superbowl Sunday fare, I haven't seen the actual game in a decade - I'll probably be watching the Heat game during Giants-Pats. If you need me before then, I'll be learning the guitar part to "Nothing But a Miracle" so that Great Friend of the Blog Snets and I can rock a duet. I gotta get myself together, people. I gotta go out and buy myself a little black dress - I'm so tired of this t-shirt. Night!
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1) Everything's back to normal, everything's okay again. Not with the Heat - I mean my tv is fixed, cable guy came out and re-wired some stuff. Picture looked crys-tal, I felt like I was in Philadelphia at the game! Oh, and the Heat won, too, a good clinical effort against an athletic and spunky Sixers squad that had been playing great at home. Here's the rundown: in #2 we are going to highlight a new closing lineup; in #3 look at the balanced scoring effort; and in #4 review KJ's (remember: King James) performance in the new halftime game show, "Black History Month." Then in #5 we'll make fun of Elton Brand, like we always do when we play the Sixers; and then wrap it up with a video in #6. Let's get to it, we've got some pork to roast this weekend!
2) Okay, so when Miami put this team together last year, obviously, the closing group they had in mind, the way they wanted to end (not necessarily start) games was this: Wade and KJ at the guards handling the ball, with Miller, Bosh, and Haslem up front. That's a great floor-spacing group: Wade and KJ can make plays for jumpers for any of the other three. And though that group lacks bulk in the frontcourt, Wade, KJ, and Miller all rebound so well that the glass should not be a problem. Then Miller instantly got hurt, then Udonis got hurt, and until game two of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Bulls, that group did not even play one second of basketball together. And even then, Miller was playing with a broken thumb, and a shoulder that needed surgery, and UD had a broken foot. This year, with the addition of Battier, and the excellent shooting of Chalmers, the rotations have been a work in progress, and we had still never seen this specific lineup. With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Heat up 8, Coach Spo went to it - for a basketball nerd like myself, it was super-exciting, I noticed it the second they came on the court, and couldn't wait to see how it worked. Annnnd, 5 minutes later the Heat had gone on a 15-0 run, were ahead by 23, and the game was over! Wade and KJ handled the ball up top, and found Miller for a jumper, and then UD for back to back jumpers to push out ahead. Open shots came easily for this group. On the defensive end, the advantage was even more pronounced. 6'2" guard Lou Williams is the Sixers crunch time iso go-to scorer - LeBron took him and erased him. Williams ended the game 6-17 from the floor. Wade took Sixers point guard Jrue Holiday, and suddenly his penetrations down the lane were a lot less comfortable. And everyone rebounded. It obviously won't be this easy with this group every game, but this is the goal, I think. This is how you want to close games out, with this group.
3) Balanced scoring tonight: Dwyane had 26 on 20 shots (and only 1 turnover); KJ had 19 points 12 rebounds, 8 assists (and only 2 turnovers); Chalmers had 13 (3-4 triples); Miller (2-3 triples, over 55% for the season) and Bosh each had 12; and Norris Cole chipped with 11, on 3 threes of his own. That's rare for the Heat - usually Wade, KJ, and Bosh dominate the scoring. But tonight those guys created for others.
4) Okay, so "Hot Seconds With Jax" ended last week, with KJ as the champion. The next halftime game show is "Black History Month," in which each player takes a turn reading a monologue about a famous, you know, black person. Last game, Dwyane kicked things off by reading about the Williams sisters, Venus and the other one. Positives: Dwyane's monologue was incredibly long, seemed like 20 minutes. His stamina was impressive. Negatives: I didn't like his outfit, it was kind of a black-on-black shirt and suit, with a weird gray collar-y thing. Dwyane's a great dresser - this outfit just didn't work. Another huge negative: the Williams sisters are totally annoying. Overall, I gave Dwyane a B. Tonight, KJ was up, and he was excellent. He read on Joe Louis. As you might expect, I am skeptical that KJ has ever heard of Joe Louis. Or boxing, for that matter. But you never would have known that the way he cranked it out - solid reading skills, did a good job, really sold Joe Louis' career, especially the poignant part at the end when Joe Louis has IRS problems, and had to try to make a comeback way too late in life. I also never knew that Ronald Reagan gave special permission for Joe Louis to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery when he died - thanks for the knowledge, KJ! Also, KJ loves a scarf, like a winter scarf, and he sported a sweet one during his segment. I mean, I don't like to have to declare a winner when you are talking about educating people about black history, but we have to. And right now, KJ is in the lead.
5) Oh, Elton Brand. You are the very definition of a #1 overall draft pick bust. In fairness, you were extremely poorly coached in college, but you certainly have made minimal effort to get into basketball shape over the past few seasons. You are a long-armed, pot-bellied anvil in the middle of both the Sixers offense and defense. Tonight you started, but played only 23 minutes, went 0-3 from the floor, and were outscored by The Warden, Joel Anthony, 2-0. Your highlight came on the first possession of the third quarter when the Sixers ran a set designed to get you a post touch, you spent 17 seconds trying to shove Chris Bosh out of the way so you could get to the spot, at one point turning your back to the ball that was supposed to be entered to you, just so you could continue pushing. Finally, you cleared enough space to receive the pass, two steps further out on the wing than you were supposed to, "elevated" for a jumper, then crashed a line drive off the rim. The next time down the court, you missed an 8 footer equally badly, and instead of trying grab the rebound, instead put two hands in Butter's back and shoved him past the ball while someone else on the Heat started a fast break. The next time down, someone else on the Sixers shot a layup, but as the ball was spinning on the rim, about to go down, you inexplicably reached up and lightly touched it, then landed and instantly waived your hands wildly, like, "I didn't touch that," which compelled the referees to whistle you for offensive goaltending and waive off the basket. It was really quite a stretch, Elton Brand. It was really something.
6) So this condensed schedule is super-cutting into time to do other things. For instance, I haven't listened to a new band in weeks and weeks. I know there is one album I sooo want - Twilight Singers live in New York - but the Russian website doesn't have it yet. Heaven forbid I pay like $10 for it at itunes. But, here is a song that I absolutely have totally been loving since I first heard it this summer: "Nothing But a Miracle" by Diane Birch and Darryl Hall. I hate to admit this, but I love, love, love Hall & Oates! C'mon, dude, I don't care how cool, or how detached, or how ironic you are, you have to love Hall & Oates. That is real, classic, filthy illness. And it only gets better with time. So now Hall has this tv show (started as a webshow) where he has musicians visit him at his pastoral estate in New York, and they eat cool food and jam. This young gal, I don't really know anything about her, but you can tell she is feeling all over that 70s vibe so hard, and at the end of the song she bursts out smiling, like, "Holy crap, Darryl Hall just sang my song!" So, so good:
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Well, we'll be back on Superbowl Sunday with a game against Toronto. I'm not even going to lie: although I am super-excited about slow-roasting a pork butt for Superbowl Sunday fare, I haven't seen the actual game in a decade - I'll probably be watching the Heat game during Giants-Pats. If you need me before then, I'll be learning the guitar part to "Nothing But a Miracle" so that Great Friend of the Blog Snets and I can rock a duet. I gotta get myself together, people. I gotta go out and buy myself a little black dress - I'm so tired of this t-shirt. Night!
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Bucks 105 Heat 97
6 Thoughts
1) What a tough night. Not for the team - for me! Spent an hour trying to help O.Minutos with his math homework - decimals, ugh! Then watched the continuing implosion of the University of Connecticut's basketball season - they scored under 50 points for the second straight game. Then watched LeBron go off for 24 in the first quarter, building a nice lead for Miami, only to see Milwaukee grind their way back into the game thanks to a ton of mindless turnovers, and lazy defense. And thennn, early in the second half, the cable got janky, and I couldn't really see the rest of the game. Gave up halfway through the third quarter with the Heat behind, and I guess they went on to lose. Cable has been very, very janky lately - as a temporary measure, I am going to have to suspend dvr'ing games in favor of live action. We're going to blitz through this, mostly because I don't know what happened in the second half. Nor, at this point, do I care. When do the playoffs start? Jeez...
2) In Cleveland, he was "LBJ" - can't really call LeBron that. "LeBron" is tough to type over and over because of the extra capital letter, and it implies a certain familiarity and affection that Heat fans don't really have for him. Calling him "King James" is ridiculous, though he does have it stenciled on his bicycle. I suggested calling him "The King," because it is dorky and funny, but M.Minutos suggested "KJ," like old Phoenix Suns point guard (and current mayor of - oh, no! -Sacramento) Kevin Johnson, which I love and is henceforth his name in this blog, or at least until I forget. KJ finished with 40 on only 24 shots, and also 8 rebounds and 5 assists, but he also had 7 turnovers, most of them simply lazy, tired basketball. And he had 24 in the first quarter, so he slowed down quite a bit.
3) Miami had 40 points in the first quarter, 37 in the whole second half. That's not good. We've lost to Milwaukee twice this season. We can't handle Milwaukee! Whatever you do, Miami, avoid Milwaukee in the playoffs! If they make it...
4) Got nothing from the role players tonight from what I could see: Haslem, Cole, Battier, and Miller combined for 7 points on 2-11.
5) The janky dvr and loss capped off a bad day overall. Had two disturbing thoughts during the day (related to basketball; maybe about eight overall): one, I am really way too old to care about who wins a basketball game. It's kind of creepy to be an adult and care about who wins a basketball game, no? I notice I can't sustain any interest in any game not involving Miami - that's unusual for me. Usually I have some kind of rooting interest, usually against someone, in any NBA game, but now, no, I can only watch for a few minutes. Feels kind of creepy to get involved - bad enough to be involved with my own team...Second, and related to the first point: basketball is just going to keep going. It goes and goes and goes. One season ends, there is a short break, and then another season begins. There is no freakin' exit plan in sight - it is just basketball from now until the end of time! That is unbelievably depressing. Basketball isn't going to stop itself - it won't stop until I stop it! In general, this season is so much more enjoyable than last season - the team is off to a better start, I am used to LeBron and Chris, but really, like the team, I am just killing time waiting for the playoffs to start. We either will win the title or we won't. But the really daunting thing is the thought of having to watch a whole entire season after that. And then another. And then another. This is awful...
6) You want to know how I got in this bad mood? I mean, seriously? Obviously, it wasn't the fuzzy dvr, that's a minor inconvenience. It wasn't even the prospect of being in a never-ending hell-like cycle of basketball seasons. I can just not watch. What really got me upset was when Milt Romney trounced Newt Gingrich in the Florida primary yesterday. Do you know what that means? NO FREAKING MOON COLONY! It's over. Even if Gingrich can come back and win this thing, there is no fucking way he is going to let my state participate in the moon colony in any way. Worse, Romney is probably going to win, and then we will continue to spend our money on stupid shit like education, national defense, and trying to make sure people have enough to eat. But not a moon colony! Jesus, do we ever suck in Florida - we killed the moon colony!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game vs Philadelphia, if my cable is working, and I am still watching basketball. If you need me before then, I'll be starting up my own lobbyist group focused on the construction of moon colonies. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine - don't you remember, I'll be slow-roasting a pork butt on Sunday!
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1) What a tough night. Not for the team - for me! Spent an hour trying to help O.Minutos with his math homework - decimals, ugh! Then watched the continuing implosion of the University of Connecticut's basketball season - they scored under 50 points for the second straight game. Then watched LeBron go off for 24 in the first quarter, building a nice lead for Miami, only to see Milwaukee grind their way back into the game thanks to a ton of mindless turnovers, and lazy defense. And thennn, early in the second half, the cable got janky, and I couldn't really see the rest of the game. Gave up halfway through the third quarter with the Heat behind, and I guess they went on to lose. Cable has been very, very janky lately - as a temporary measure, I am going to have to suspend dvr'ing games in favor of live action. We're going to blitz through this, mostly because I don't know what happened in the second half. Nor, at this point, do I care. When do the playoffs start? Jeez...
2) In Cleveland, he was "LBJ" - can't really call LeBron that. "LeBron" is tough to type over and over because of the extra capital letter, and it implies a certain familiarity and affection that Heat fans don't really have for him. Calling him "King James" is ridiculous, though he does have it stenciled on his bicycle. I suggested calling him "The King," because it is dorky and funny, but M.Minutos suggested "KJ," like old Phoenix Suns point guard (and current mayor of - oh, no! -Sacramento) Kevin Johnson, which I love and is henceforth his name in this blog, or at least until I forget. KJ finished with 40 on only 24 shots, and also 8 rebounds and 5 assists, but he also had 7 turnovers, most of them simply lazy, tired basketball. And he had 24 in the first quarter, so he slowed down quite a bit.
3) Miami had 40 points in the first quarter, 37 in the whole second half. That's not good. We've lost to Milwaukee twice this season. We can't handle Milwaukee! Whatever you do, Miami, avoid Milwaukee in the playoffs! If they make it...
4) Got nothing from the role players tonight from what I could see: Haslem, Cole, Battier, and Miller combined for 7 points on 2-11.
5) The janky dvr and loss capped off a bad day overall. Had two disturbing thoughts during the day (related to basketball; maybe about eight overall): one, I am really way too old to care about who wins a basketball game. It's kind of creepy to be an adult and care about who wins a basketball game, no? I notice I can't sustain any interest in any game not involving Miami - that's unusual for me. Usually I have some kind of rooting interest, usually against someone, in any NBA game, but now, no, I can only watch for a few minutes. Feels kind of creepy to get involved - bad enough to be involved with my own team...Second, and related to the first point: basketball is just going to keep going. It goes and goes and goes. One season ends, there is a short break, and then another season begins. There is no freakin' exit plan in sight - it is just basketball from now until the end of time! That is unbelievably depressing. Basketball isn't going to stop itself - it won't stop until I stop it! In general, this season is so much more enjoyable than last season - the team is off to a better start, I am used to LeBron and Chris, but really, like the team, I am just killing time waiting for the playoffs to start. We either will win the title or we won't. But the really daunting thing is the thought of having to watch a whole entire season after that. And then another. And then another. This is awful...
6) You want to know how I got in this bad mood? I mean, seriously? Obviously, it wasn't the fuzzy dvr, that's a minor inconvenience. It wasn't even the prospect of being in a never-ending hell-like cycle of basketball seasons. I can just not watch. What really got me upset was when Milt Romney trounced Newt Gingrich in the Florida primary yesterday. Do you know what that means? NO FREAKING MOON COLONY! It's over. Even if Gingrich can come back and win this thing, there is no fucking way he is going to let my state participate in the moon colony in any way. Worse, Romney is probably going to win, and then we will continue to spend our money on stupid shit like education, national defense, and trying to make sure people have enough to eat. But not a moon colony! Jesus, do we ever suck in Florida - we killed the moon colony!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game vs Philadelphia, if my cable is working, and I am still watching basketball. If you need me before then, I'll be starting up my own lobbyist group focused on the construction of moon colonies. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine - don't you remember, I'll be slow-roasting a pork butt on Sunday!
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