Heat 100 Thunder 96 Series tied 1-1

6 Thoughts

1) What a donnybrook!  What a humdinger!  What a hullabaloo!  I mean that really escalated quickly!...Miami totally controlled the run of play from start to finish, and seemingly won the game like three separate times, only to have OKC keep clawing back in it.  The game had a rollercoaster-y rise-fall-and-rise by KJ James, two impossibly huge calls (one went each way), and another lights-out shooting night from Shane Battier.  Okay, we all expect that from Battier, that's no surprise at all...In the end, Miami slipped out of there with a win, and the series is on!  We on fiyah, we up in here!  Let's go!

2) For three quarters, KJ James played about as good a game as he can play.  It was different than the huge scoring games against Indiana and Boston in the playoffs, when everything he threw up went in.  After a Game 1 where Miami lived, and ultimately died, by the jump shot, KJ James did what everybody has been screaming for him to do for, ohhh, about 8 seasons: go down in the post and dominate.  Early on, he took Kevin Durant to the block and abused him.  Jump hook for a score.  Jump stop, pump fake, and finish.  Spin baseline, reverse layup.  Even when OKC stopped him by bringing a second defender, it still worked for Miami: Ibaka blocked a KJ post-up, but his man, Udonis Haslem, grabbed the rebound and finished.  Kevin Durant spent the entire night in foul trouble trying to deal with KJ in the lane.  It also freed up Battier: three quick triples again, and Miami led by double-digits all first half.  What was most impressive was that KJ stayed at it - I know he doesn't like getting his shot blocked, and not only did he have a couple of layups deflected away, but Ibaka even blocked his dunk attempt near the end of the half.  Still, in the third quarter he was back at it, with he and Dwyane both making OKC defend multiple actions each possession, leading to open opportunities in the paint...Buttt, in the fourth quarter, after Durant picked up his fifth foul with over 10 minutes to go, OKC left him in, and switched James Harden onto KJ.  Harden is 6'4", 6'5", KJ probably outweighs him by 40 pounds.  But.  KJ.  Would.  Not.  Go.  To.  The.  Basket.  He stood out on the perimeter, bounced the ball, then threw it to a covered Battier or Almario Vernard Chalmers with the shot clock running out.  He melted away possession after possession with mind-bogglingly passive effort.  He was in his weird, lonely space again, just like against Dallas last year.  I mean, he was great against Boston in big moments, last year and this year, and great against Indiana, and great against Chicago.  Why is it only in the Finals that he retreats to this bizarre little island?  But then, after Miami (read: KJ), had given back almost their entire hard-won lead, KJ made a series of plays in the closing moments.  With 90 seconds to go, after another bad possession was evaporating, he took the ball left to 14 feet, rose up over Thabo Sefalosha, OKC's best defender, and made an incredibly difficult bank shot to restore the lead 5 and momentarily stem OKC's onslaught.  He missed a triple from the top plus 2 with 15 seconds to go - didn't have a problem with the shot, it was a good look and it ends the game if it goes in.  Then on the ensuing defensive possession, got just enough of a contest on Kevin Durant's drive (foul?  more on that in # 3) to force a miss, then (foul?) pulled Russell Westbrook off the ball and collected the rebound.  Look, call a foul if you want, ref - I'm erring on the side of getting the ball in the rebounding scrum somehow, and see what the ref wants to do with it.  Then, walked to the other end and dropped two free throws dead-bottom to seal the game.  I don't know what to tell you: 32 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, put KD in foul trouble, got the biggest stop and rebound of the night; and, almost lost the game with a bizarre 8 minute stretch.  Was it good?  I don't know, dude - you call it.

3) Huge, huge calls.  HUGE calls!  ENORMOUS CONSEQUENCES!!  Kevin Durant's second, third, fourth, and fifth fouls all came "ahead of clock" - they put him in foul trouble, he got those fouls earlier than you would want if you're OKC.  He "only" played 39 minutes - that's probably 5 or 6 less than he goes without the fouls.  To his huge credit, after each call, he didn't protest - none of them were questionable, and he didn't complain.  A lot of guys will waive their arms, protest - they aren't even disputing the calls, really, they're just showing out for the fans, like, "hey, don't blame me, it's on the ref."  Durant doesn't do that - such a nice kid.  OKC left him in after he got his fifth with over 10 minutes to go - they were still down double-digits, so it seemed the correct play.  With 3:20 to go, and Miami leading by 6, Durant drove and elevated to shoot a floater.  Shane Battier slid over in place, maybe a little late, maybe leaning in a little bit, and Durant missed the floater and hammered Battier to the floor.  No call, Miami secured the rebound.  Except, here came a ref running in late, after the shot missed, to call a foul.  If you think that was a block on Battier, okay, I can live with that.  Why wait until the ball didn't go in to call it?  It wasn't a block before it missed?  Durant made one free throw to cut the lead to 5.  It easily - easily - could have been called a charge on Durant, and he would have been out of the game.  This seemed especially relevant a few moments later when, after Miami had seemingly sewn up the game, Dwyane Wade committed a horrifyingly-dreadful turnover, and Durant banged a transition triple to cut the lead to 2 with under a minute to play.  Tough call that went against Miami...On the last play of the game, with about 12 seconds to go and Miami leading by 2, OKC direct-lined the inbound pass to Durant at the short, left wing.  KJ was guarding him, and kind of got taken by surprise - think he was probably expecting a screen, not the ball to be directly inbounded to Durant.  Durant quickly went baseline, and KJ responded by getting his arm up in him to try to slow him down - it worked, and KJ leveraged himself back in front a little bit, and as Durant tried to elevate for a short 6 foot floater, KJ resisted with a forearm to the hip area.  KD: meet KJ!.  Durant got a clean look up top and missed.  Foul?  I think if you show that play to both teams before the game, tell them that on the last possession of the game, down two, one of you is going to get that look, with that contact, and have to try to play through it - but you don't know which team is going to be offense and which is going to be defense: decide now, you want that called a foul?  I think both teams say no, let that play out (by the way, also think the same is true on the Battier- KD play: think both teams would say "call that a block")...As for the ensuing rebound, in which KJ appeared to dislodge the ball from Westbrook by smacking his arm, then grabbing the ball himself, I say: nobody likes Westbrook, who cares?  I'm sure even his own teammates hate him...   

4) Dwyane Wade: rim attacks, multiple pick-and-rolls on the same possession, hustled back on defense, worked hard to keep guys in front of him.  It didn't always work: had a brutal stretch early in the fourth where he took an early pullup, missed, and then suffered a Russell Westbrook blow-by layup without ever even budging from his defensive stance.  He also had the horrific turnover with a minute to go that kept OKC in the game: I mean, you're a professional basketball player, with under a minute to go, up five dribbling down the court, you think you might anticipate a guy coming up from behind you to try to steal the ball.  But he also made two of the biggest plays of the game: an off-balance fallaway in the lane late in the shot clock after KJ had dribbled away another possession, and a vintage weave down the lane to draw defenders and find Bosh (16 and 15, and 2 timely blocks in the 4th quarter) for a dunk to go up 7 with 53 seconds to go (which should have ended it, but for his ensuing turnover).  It wasn't always pretty, but it was 24 points, 6 assists, 5 boards, and an NBA Finals road win.  Someone had to help KJ - tonight Dwyane did...

5) Okay, Playoff James Jones surfaced briefly tonight: played 6 minutes which culminated in him passing up 2 triples on the same possession, only to take three dribbles (a season high) and bang a 15 footer with the shot clock winding down.   That's what PJJ is all about: doing things he never does in the regular season.  We've resisted it, but M.Minutos made the call tonight.  New character: Playoff Shane Battier.  PSB, as we now must call him, made 5 more triples tonight (out of 7), and scored 17 points for the second consecutive game: 34 points is about a month's worth for him, usually.  Made another running hook shot.  Also made 4 triples in each of the previous two games - Holy Moly, PSB!  Annnddd, nowwww, the inevitable ice cold Game 3 in 3,2,1...

6) Well, Miami might have climbed into this series tonight, but even if they hadn't, I would still be okay. You know why? Cuz Mike Mil-lar is in the oil business, boys! Man, I watched the two hour premier of the new Dallas last night – I didn’t really watch it back the first time it was on, although somehow I seemed to know everything about it. I’ve been seeing the ads for the premier during the playoffs, and when I randomly turned on the tv last night, it was on that station, and it was right at the part where Mil-lar hits a gusher and smirks and announces it: "We're in the oil business, boys!"  Yes, we are!!! So great! I got sucked right in and watched the whole two hours – M.Minutos joined me about 20 minutes in. Usually she will roll her eyes if I’m watching a dumb show when she comes in the room - in fairness, most of the time I’m sitting there watching the dumb show on purpose, just waiting for her to come in say, “What are you watching?” so that I can go, “What do you mean? I’ve always loved ‘South Beach Tow!’” But she didn’t say a word last night, just sat down and got right into it. She was a little giddy, frankly; if I didn’t know her so well, I might suspect she has a crush on Mike Mil-lar. Good-looking lad.  See if you can tell which one is a smirky, rich kid prospecting for oil, and which one is an oft-injured sharp-shooter for the Miami Heat:

Anyways, the show is tremendous. Mil-lar plays the old J.R.’s son, who is played by the corpse of Larry Hagman, and throughout the two hours, they pull not a single, not a double, not a triple, not a quadruple, but I think a quintuple-cross-switcheroo on each other. Every time you think Mil-lar is over on Hagman, out of the blue Hagman knows what is happening, and counteracts it, and you’re like, “oh, now he’s over on Mil-lar,” but somehow Mil-lar anticipates that, and gets back over on Hagman! Also, at one point, Mil-lar is like, “when I was a kid, the Ewings were riding high, but we fell off – I’ve spent my whole life trying to restore the Ewing name…” Particularly lean: the late 80s and early 90s, when the family was led by Pat Ewing, of the New York Knicks, always coming up short to Mike Jordan and the Bulls in the playoffs. That was a bad stretch for the Ewing family right there…Finally, it had a classic “I waited for you for 8 hours at the train station and you never showed up, so my heart was broken and I left” – “what? I didn’t show because of your email!” – “what email?” – “the email you sent me breaking up with me” – “I never sent you an email, I didn’t even own a computer” type of scene between Christopher (Bobby Ewing’s son) and Jordana Brewster, Paul Walker’s ex-girlfriend. That kind of scene is in every great movie, right? Like Ryan Gosling and The Notebook, dude – her parents never gave her all the letters he wrote! Mon Dieu!!! Even better, Christopher and Jordana Brewster realize that Mil-lar must have sent the email to make them break up, and she confronts him, and he’s like, “No, I didn’t send the email,” and she’s like, “Yes, you did, look it’s from jrewing@yahoo.com,” and he’s like, “no, that proves it can’t be me, I use earthlink.net!” It’s the best show ever! Win or lose this basketball series, I feel like my summer is going to be a success!
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We're off until Sunday night, when the series returns to Miami.  If you need me before then, like specifically Sunday afternoon, I'll be taking O.Minutos and 4 of his friends to Boomer's (a giant arcade, go-cart, laser-tag place) for his 10th birthday.  F*ck me.  Yeah, I said it - F*ck me!  You think that sounds like fun?  See you Sunday!

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Thunder 105 Heat 94 Thunder lead 1-0

6 Thoughts

1) First of all, I'd like to commend myself.  I sat and watched this game quietly.  I didn't yell at the tv, I didn't complain (much) about the officiating (although how can DWade go to the rim at the end of the 3rd quarter, get bodychecked on the release by Fisher - no call, then Westbrook comes down the other end and gets a brush-by foul to give OKC the lead after 3? okay, done...).  To have a realistic shot in this series, Miami needs to get one out of these first two in Oklahoma City, which, as it turns out, is in the state of Oklahoma.  The Heat jumped out to an early lead, weathered the storm through much of the third quarter, then hung in almost the whole fourth quarter, but couldn't match OKC's energy, or shot-making, down the stretch.  Wasn't a great effort, but it wasn't bad.  Gonna have to come back Thursday and see if they can push just a little bit harder.  Let us go...

2) Playing this OKC team is like night and day from playing Boston.  I'm not even talking about the fact that OKC is actually playing basketball, and not trying to slow the game down (while at the same time, douching it up) like Boston.  It's hard to describe what Boston even does as "basketball" - it's more like waiting in some worn-out buffet line in West Palm Beach with a bunch of senior citizens: annoying and gross...I'm actually just talking about likability.  I mean, yes, Russell Westbrook is an a-hole, we all know that.  But, dude, at least he is clean.  And I like Harden, and I like Ibaka ("you're going to play with some of the best young players in the world: Russell Westbrook; Serge Ibaka..."), and I love Kevin Durant.  One, he's totally awesome, he's a 7 foot freak who is one of the best shooters alive, competitive, and aggressive.  Two, he seems like a totally nice kid.  Three, he doesn't have a huge personality, but just enough of one to be endearing - I've been looking over at The Captain in Dos Minutos Int'l HQs for weeks now, out of the blue, and saying, "Doodle Jump...Man, that's messed up..."  That's Durant's text service ad - when he tells me that he sympathizes with the extreme overage charges on my current plan (even though he clearly doesn't have to worry about an expense like that), I totally believe him.  Only Chris Bosh on the Heat is as sympathetic an advertiser.  In the last series, I hated Kevin Garnett with the fiery rage of a thousand suns.  But I can not hate Kevin Durant.  Annnddd, he was terrific tonight, Miami couldn't stop him in the 4th quarter, when he poured in 17 points.  His counterpart, KJ James, was good, with 30 points, with 9 rebounds, 4 steals, and 4 assists, but he shot only 11-24, and I didn't think he was quite decisive enough with his offense.  He kept Miami alive in the third quarter with three driving layups, but in the fourth OKC walled off the paint, and there wasn't a lot of space for KJ to operate.  He can't do everything himself.  He needs a little help...

3) ...and Dwyane Wade was not good.  It did not look like he could turn the corner and get into the lane.  He settled for a lot of long-range jump shots.  Major problem with this: not a good long-range jump shooter.  He finished 7-19 for 19 points - he did have 8 assists and 4 rebounds.  When the ball stuck in the second half - and it stuck a lot - it was often Dwyane just dribbling the ball out on the perimeter, making half-hearted probes at his defender.  I'd say his knees are bothering him and he's not 100%, but guess what?  He's old for a two guard, he's never going to be 100% again.  He's still really, really, really good.  Is he good enough to help KJ get over the top on OKC?  Don't know...

4) Miami broke out to an early 13 point lead.  Shane Battier: three straight triples in the first quarter, topped it off in the second quarter with a running half-hook shot that he started by fumbling the ball on his waist - 13 points in the first half, and 17 for the game!  Iso-Batt!  At one point when he was really sizzling,  I called him "Batman" (Battman?), and M.Minutos didn't know who I was talking about - who is actually less of a Batman than Battier, unfortunately?

5) Mascots for professional sports teams are kind of dumb anyways.  I mean the dudes are all grown-ass men: "Hey, we're the Jaguars!  Yeah - Jaguars forever!"  So lame.  And amongst the lamest of all is the Heat.  It's arguably the worst sports name there is, besides Celtics and Bulls.  Are the Heat plural?  Or is it singular?  The Thunder is not quite as bad - at least thunder can rumble, all heat can do is give you sun stroke.  ABC play-by-play announcer said of Shane Battier during the game, "He was almost a Thunder!"  Really, is that how we are going to do it?  A Thunder?  But instead he ended up a Heat?  Listen, I'll do it that way, but it sounds pretty dorky...

6) Small is the new huge.  #penis
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Well, it pretty much seems like Miami is going to have to win Thursday to have a real shot at this series.  Too hard to win three straight at home against a really good team.  If you need me before then, I'll be watching Game 7 of the Boston series - so much easier to beat them than OKC!  You don't believe me?  You don't believe I have that game DVR'D and marked "save till I delete?"  I'll do you one better: I still have last season's Game 5 of Chicago-Miami - I'll be watching that, too!  See you Thursday, Thunders!
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Heat 101 Celtics 88 Heat win series 4-3

6 Thoughts

1) What if I said to you that in the biggest game of the season thus far, with Miami struggling on its home floor and facing elimination to the hated Celtics, that Chris Bosh - yes, that Chris Bosh - was going to step up and save the season?  You would think I was joking, right?  I mean, Chris Bosh, he's playing with a pulled abdominal muscle, and he's not exactly noted for being a stone-cold killer, or particularly engaged, or even, really, that conscious.  Well guess what: CONSCIOUS!  LETTTT'SSSSS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

2) I mean, yeah, Bosh made three triples - don't believe he's ever made two in a game since he's been on the Heat, and certainly not three, and he scored 19 points on 8-10 in 31 minutes off the bench, and two of the triples were fourth quarter monsters.  All that was huge.  But it was four other plays he made down the stretch that helped seal the game - and they were particularly un-Bosh-like.  With Miami up 5 after a 30 foot KJ James bomb and under 5 minutes to go, Rajon Rondo - who couldn't have been douchier in defeat, more on that in #5 - missed a little runner in the lane.  Bosh came flying through the paint, beat two Celtics and Udonis Haslem to the ball, ripped it out of the air, landed, maybe traveled, maybe stepped out of bounds, stabilized himself, and delivered the ball to a guard.  After KJ missed a jumper, Dwyane Wade grabbed the offensive rebound and called timeout.  Miami was running almost exclusively Wade-KJ pick-and-rolls in the fourth quarter trying to get them runs into the lane, and did it again, but with a twist - this time, after the screen, Bosh flashed from the weakside into the paint on a designed cut, KJ him with a perfect pass, and instead of hesitating, as he sometimes does, Bosh flipped in a little jump hook for a 7 point lead.  Boston came down, and with their season on the line, tried to post Kevin Garnett against KJ James.  KJ tried to front Garnett, and knew Garnett was going to try to shove him up the lane when the ball was floated over the top, so he leaned back and resisted with everything he had.  Still, as Rondo released the pass, KG got a good lick in on KJ (if there was one play in this series that worked every time, it was this play - refs, for whatever reason, just decided KG was going to be allowed to shove his defender up the lane on every entry pass).  It looked like a sure layup...except, while the ball was in the air, Chris Bosh alertly darted across from the weakside and picked the pass off!  Down the other end, Wade got middle and made a floater over Paul Pierce, Heat by 9 with 3:30 to play.  Celtics called timeout, ran their best set, Rondo drove, tried to shoot a floater - and Chris Bosh blocked it!  Miami pushed down to the other end, Wade drove, took a bump from Bass, and made the floater and the free throw to end the game.  Chris Bosh!  Rebounding!  Moving off the ball and finishing with, well, panache!  Stealing the ball and blocking shots!  What has this imposter done with the real Chris Bosh?  Where was the statue defense?  We knew he could shoot - but this is what we have wanted from him all along!  This is the most incredible player transformation since last year's Boston series saw the emergence of Playoff James Jones!...I think if we learned something tonight - besides that Chris Bosh may, indeed, have a pulse - it's that if Bosh had been healthy, in all likelihood, Miami would have killed Boston in this series, like they did in the second round last year. Bosh outplayed Garnett tonight, as he did last season.  People made a big deal of the Celtics heart and experience in this series - and I agree, they battle - but the dropoff for Miami was so severe without Bosh.  It changes everything they do on the offensive end, and they simply don't have another tall guy who can play - makes a huge difference...

3) KJ James was the best player on the court again by a mile.  He didn't have a great shooting night with the jumper - only 9-21 from the floor - but he worked his way to the line for 17 free throws (but missed 5 - ugggh).  In fourth quarter, when it mattered most, he attacked the rim, flushed a couple of dunks, grabbed some key defensive rebounds, and had his only two assists of the game: sweet drive-and-kick to Bosh for one of his triples, and the laser to the cutting Bosh for the jump hook.  Overall, 31 points and 12 boards for KJ.  He scored 25 or more in every game of the series - again, don't get all excited, this isn't that unusual, it has been done before: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1974, and Elgin Baylor in 1962.  KJ just played one of the best regular seasons of all-time, and has followed it with one of the best post-seasons of all-time.  Still, his greatest challenge still looms: Kevin Durant and OKC, who have been individually and collectively frightening during this post-season.  Don't know how Miami is going to deal with them.  Happy to have a shot, though.

4) Dwyane Wade couldn't have been worse in the first half - he was atrocious.  He kept kind of "posting up" 23 feet from the basket, with a defender in between him and the ball, screaming for a pass, then Almario Vernard "Emcee" Chalmers or KJ would throw the pass, it would get intercepted since a basketball can't, like, magically float through a defender's arm, and the Celtics would go down and lay it in.  When he saw that wasn't working, he started going out to the top of the key to get the ball, then he would throw a lazy floater somewhere, which would get picked off and, again, the Celtics would go down and lay it in.  The Heat trailed by 7 at the half - it was so painful to think Miami was going to lose because the team's all-time hero was throwing up all over himself.  But in the second half, he righted himself - made two mid-range jumpers, and along with Almario Vernard "Emcee" Chalmers, who started the third quarter by making three driving layups over, around, and past a veryyy creaky-looking Kevin Garnett, and some timely shooting by Shane Battier (4-9 on triples on the night), Miami hauled itself back into the game.  Wade started the fourth quarter by splitting a double team and dunking, and the aforementioned two driving floaters put the game away.  9 in the fourth for Dwyane to finish with 23, 6 and 6.  Dwyane's getting old enough that you can start to reflect on his career a little bit.  It's his third trip to the Finals - a lot of guys, even stars, don't make it that many times.  He won the title and the Finals MVP in 2006 with probably the greatest individual Finals performance in the history of the league.  He's - easily - the most beloved guy in the history of his franchise.  Again, not a lot of players can say that - at most, there's only one per team.  It's been an amazing career so far - would love to see him add one more title.  But even if he doesn't, it's been so much fun having him on the team - and tonight, the way he battled back from such a terrible start, just gave us all one more reason to appreciate him.

5) Well, here in #5, I come not to bury Doucheball, but to praise it.  Okay, actually, that's a total lie, I would love to bury it, if at all possible.  But one of the things about Doucheball is that it keeps coming back!  Last year was supposed to be their swan song!  What happened to that?  There were a few douchey moments during the game tonight: Paul Pierce held Dwyane Wade down on the floor for an entire offensive possession after Wade dove on the floor for a loose ball; Rondo tried to get into it with Wade, then KJ, then intentionally walked through KJ's legs while KJ was hanging on the rim looking for space to land after a dunk; Doc Rivers, as per usual, whined his way through the entire game, arguing every call, even ones his players didn't contest - he is embarrassing to watch - Jesus, Doc Rivers, you're a grown-ass man; and Pierce took a completely pointless hard foul on Dwyane Wade with only 30 seconds to go.  But the douchiest of moves came by Rondo and Garnett as the final seconds wound off the clock - they left the bench and walked up the tunnel with the game still going on, eschewing the customary post-series handshakes.  They aren't considered social deviants for nothing.  By leaving the court early, they aren't just being sore losers, but bailing on their own teammates, the ones who stayed on the court to congratulate the Heat - even Paul Pierce was a gracious loser, embracing each member of the Heat and wishing them luck (and of course Connecticut's Ray Allen was classy in defeat - that goes without saying - love you, boy, come finish your career down here).  Rondo, as B.Minutos noted, also tried to throw a towel on the camera following him up the tunnel, but missed the shot - for a guy who is supposed to be such an offensive maestro, his team only scored 6 points in the last 9 minutes of an elimination game.  This kid is amongst the least-likable personalities in the entire league - my brother, A.Minutos, dubbed him "the Dick Cheney of the NBA," and speculated that he also probably "accidentally" shot someone in the face at some point.  However, on a scale of 1-10, the Celtics overall level of douchiness in this series was really only about a 2 - for such a close series, it was amazingly free of contentious moments, considering the opposition.  I mean, it's hard to believe, but the Celtics, for all intents and purposes, got out-douched by the Indiana Pacers...Wonder if the C's lack of aggression had anything to do with the fact that Udonis Haslem nearly decapitated Indiana's Tyler Hansbrough in the last round.  Udonis showed he wasn't playing around - think the Celtics might have decided to stand down a little this time?  Studio gangsters!...Anyways, barring some kind of miracle return (again), I think it is safe to say we have seen the last of doucheball from this group of Celtics. Miami smoked them in 5 last year, and probably would have done the same this year had Bosh been available earlier in the series - the two games he actually played significant minutes, the Heat won pretty easily.   They just aren't good enough anymore.  Doucheball is dead; long live Doucheball!

6) How do we know that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer is any good?  Haven't seen Stephen A. Smith say one thing about it...
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Well, the season, and the blog, live on.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret - I wrote the farewell post for the season for #6 before Thursday night's Game 6, just in case we lost.  I did it!  I reversed jinxed us into a series win!  Again!  The Finals, against what is sure to be a pretty heavily-favored OKC squad, starts Tuesday.  They are a totally different team than Boston - an explosive, athletic, youthful ball of fire.  Should be fun.  And by "fun," I mean "totally and completely excruciating."  If you need me before then, I'll be wearing my Ray Allen Milwaukee Bucks jersey and trying to forget the nightmare of the last 5 seasons he had to spend with Garnett and Rondo.  He's a free agent now, and one can only imagine how quickly he wants to get away from those two.  He's spent his entire career trying to conduct himself in a professional manner - having to spend 9 months a year with those two unlikable maniacs must be incredibly challenging.  So good to be free, Ray, so good to be free!  See you down here next year, Ray.  And see all the rest of you jokers on Tuesday in Oklahoma City!  Wherever that is!
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Heat 98 Celtics 79 Series tied 3-3

6 Thoughts

1) Elimination game, on the road, against the very powerful and very real force of doucheball, and errrry-body's already got you dead and buried - so what do you do?  Give the ball to KJ James in the mid-post and: Get. Out. Of. The. Way...BALL SO HARD, BOY, BALL SO HARD!!!  LIVE TO FIGHT ONE MORE DAY, KJ, CUZ YOU BALL SO HARDDD!!!  LET'S GOOO!!!

2) 45, 15, and 5.  On 19-26!  He played the first 45 minutes without coming out.  Mid-post jumper.  Mid-post jumper.  Mid-post spin to baseline jumper.  Mid-post jumper.  Rim attack layup.  Mid-post jumper.  Triple.  Mid-post jumper.  All night, from the mid-post.  30 in the first half.  Even made a turnaround jumper while Rajon Rondo intentionally poked him in the nuts with his disgusting talons in the third quarter.  Look, 45, 15, and 5 in a playoff game isn't that unusual: Wilt Chamberlain once did it in 1964.  All day long I felt bad for this kid: he just had one of the best regular seasons of all-time.  He was great against New York in the first round, phenomenal against Indiana in the second round, and he's been great in this series.  Bosh is hurt, they are still getting pretty much nothing from him.  Dwyane's been erratic.  Through it all, KJ just plays hard, doesn't complain to refs, doesn't trash-talk his opponents even though he takes as many cheap shots up high as any player in the league (besides maybe Dwight Howard) - he's a super-solid, professional dude, he's not some sour-faced, complaining punk like Derrick Rose, or a self-aggrandizing "look at me" social deviant like Rajon Rondo.  He just plays, and he compliments the other team win or lose - is it that hard for other guys to just act professional like KJ?  And, still, all anyone wants to do is take a dump on his head.  F*ck errrry-body else, KJ: just ball so hard.  Feel good for you tonight, boy...

3) Basketball is supposed to be a team sport.  But KJ won this game, pretty much, by himself.  I mean, Dwyane Wade played well for about 2 minutes at the beginning of the 4th quarter when the lead ballooned to 20, which was pretty much ballgame. But the rest of the night, he looked stuck in mud.  Almario Vernard Chalmers made three triples, and UD battled his way to 9 boards in 23 minutes.  Bosh played 28 minutes, and I thought he was a little more aware defensively than he was in his first game back, but he still clearly doesn't have his legs, and probably won't until next season.  Boston played really poorly - when you are an aging team, some nights you just aren't going to have it, and they didn't tonight.  It was that, and KJ (sidenote: KJ is really, really getting balder by the day - as a balding man myself, I love it!).  That was the game.  Ball so hard, KJ...

4) How to ref: in the first quarter, Brandon Bass posted up Shane Battier, caught a pass, and as he often does, bulldogged Battier backwards with a shoulder.  As he stepped to the rim to shoot, Battier came back at him and bumped him back.  Bass missed the shot.  So, so often, referees let the offensive player push, but not the defensive player - 99% of the time, this play is called a foul.  But referee Danny Crawford, right there in perfect position, let them play on.  Great job, Danny Crawford - if you are going to let the offensive player push to create space, it's only fair to let the defender bump back...How not to ref: two different times in this game, Crawford's partner, Tony Brothers, who is consistently weak, stood two feet away from Rajon Rondo, watched him dribble the ball into Almario Vernard Chalmers' chest, rock his head back, and both times Brothers called a foul on Almario Vernard Chalmers.  Dude, call what you see, not the reaction.  You couldn't have seen Almario Vernard Chalmers foul Rondo, because he didn't, either time.  You're calling Rondo's reaction, you're getting suckered by a dude flopping - and you're two feet away.  By the way, not saying those calls only went one way tonight - those were just two examples.  You've got to take a little more pride in your job, you have to do a little bit better job of recognizing what is going on around you.  It is a tough enough game to call as it is - can't base your calls on how players react.  You have to trust your eyes, you have to call what you see...

5) In the third quarter, with the Celtics having a rough night, and KJ James balling so hard, Kevin Garnett made a layup, caught the ball after it went through the net (already illegal and annoying), zipped the ball with purpose into Shane Battier's chest, then ran away from him (st-st-studio gangster act).  Technical foul.  "Doc Rivers wants an explanation for the t," surmised ABC play-by-play announcer Mike Breen (don't know how he differentiated Doc Rivers' endless whining on every play from wanting a specific explanation for this one call).  Really?  At this late juncture in their time together, Doc Rivers still requires an explanation for a play like that from Kevin Garnett?  Is that even remotely possible?  Before I could say it, before I could even think it, M.Minutos gave Rivers the explanation herself: "Doucheball." ... Other reports from the Land de la Douche: fans getting into the act!  One fan threw a ball that had landed in the stands and hit Dwyane Wade in the head.  Another fan tried to dump a drink - I'm guessing maybe alcoholic - on KJ James as he left the court.  Most of them bailed at the 7 minute mark of the fourth quarter with the Heat up 20+.  The remaining 2,000 drunken, angry gingies stayed till the end of game, half-heartedly chanted "Let's Go Celtics" in the waning moments, then probably went outside and looked for random gay or black dudes to hassle.  I went to school in this city, by the way, and absolutely love it - this isn't a criticism, just how it is.  Doucheball gonna do what doucheball gonna do.  You know...

6) Interesting fact about me: I have never, ever, not even for one second, been inside a limousine.
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Well, one downside of this stirring victory is the excruciating loss we will probably take Saturday night in Game 7 back here in Miami when KJ goes to his weird, little passive space in his head, and Ray Allen and Paul Pierce combine for 17 triples and 71 points.  That's not going to be fun at all.  Still, that is what being a fan is all about: extreme and absolute agony.  If you need me before then, I'll be seeing if any of the teenagers on my street are going to prom - I'm going to give someone fifty bucks to drive me around the block in their limo.  Ball so hard!
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Celtics 94 Heat 90 Celtics lead 3-2

6 Thoughts

1) I don't know what to tell you - my email and texts are already blowing up with complaints about the refereeing, specifically a bizarre technical foul on Almario Vernard Chalmers with 3 minutes to go, and the last play when Udonis Haslem poked the ball free from Kevin Garnett - but you know what?  The fact of the matter is that Miami didn't play well.  They never played well in this game, especially defensively.  Boston shot the ball poorly from the outside (until the dagger by Paul Pierce, and 2 late killer 3s by Mikael Pietrus - more on that in #4), but got layup after layup at the basket, mostly on simple defensive errors by the Heat: not getting back on defense, not addressing rollers to the rim, not helping from the weakside.  One thing you can almost always count on with this Heat team is that they will play fundamentally sound on the defensive end, but tonight they did not, and they have put themselves in a huge, huge hole.  Lose Thursday in Boston and the ramifications promise to be drastic.  This version of the Heat isn't dead yet...but it's getting close.  Let's go...

2) When the Heat got down 5 to end the third quarter, after being up 9 earlier in the quarter, I can't lie, I was ready to go.  I have never been more tired, sleep-deprivation-wise, in my life.  Not too complain too much, but when the games start late, I finish writing this blog at like 12:30 or 1 o'clock, and then even if I'm exhausted, my brain is too awake to sleep.  Even on the off nights, my sleep pattern is all messed up from game nights, so I'm just waxed right now.  Plus, I'm super-old!  Still, Dwyane Wade and KJ James had one little last run in them.  Neither one was particularly efficient - they combined for 57 points, but it took them 47 shots.  KJ had 13 rebounds and Dwyane had 6.  But, again, the paint was jammed, and besides one late Chalmers three to put the Heat up one with just under 3 minutes to play, they really just didn't get enough help from the edges, as the shooters (Battier, Mil-lar, Chalmers, and James Jones) made only 4-14.  When Miami plays well, Wade and KJ get into the lane, and then shooters make open shots; when they play poorly, the shooters do not make shots.  Pretty simple.  Bad time for one of the "shooters do not make shots" games!

3) Chris Bosh came back and played for the first time in, what, 100 years?  Oh, like two weeks?  Jeez, do the playoffs ever distort time...He had a sweet early finish off a pick-and-roll pass form Norris Cole (!), and created a triple for Mike Mil-lar just by being on the court when Kevin Garnett didn't leave him to contest a Cole drive, creating an easy pass.  But defensively he was atrocious, although it's tough to blame him - he just has been out too long, with an injury that required immobility, and he looked slow and lost on the defensive end. On one possession he trailed Paul Pierce out to the corner in transition, even though Mike Mil-lar was already tracking Pierce - meanwhile, Bosh's guy, Garnett, walked down the lane and nearly decapitated poor James Jones with a tomahawk dunk.  On another possession, Bosh's man (again Garnett) rolled to the rim, KJ helped from the ball side by bumping him and staying attached long enough to trade him back to Bosh who was supposed to get back to him - unfortunately, Bosh sort of wandered slowly backwards, and Garnett got another layup.  Chris played 14 minutes and scored 9 points on 3-8, and had 7 rebounds - to be candid, 6 of the rebounds were offensive, and I think 3 were tips that he missed.  I give him a lot of credit for going out there and trying with an injury that sounds very painful - he doesn't have a rep as the toughest guy on earth, exactly - but he wasn't much help.

4) Play of the game: Well, Pierce hit a bomb over KJ to put it away in the final minute - give him the credit for knocking it down - but the biggest play probably happened with about 5 minutes to go.  Miami was up 6 due mostly to rim attacks by Wade, and a triple by KJ, and Brandon Bass came down the lane to try to flush with authority and Dwyane Wade went up and met him at the rim with force, rejecting the dunk away.  Unfortunately the ball caromed towards Rondo, who just beat KJ to it, and batted it over to a wide open Mikael Pietrus who drained a corner triple to cut the lead back to 3.  Huge game changer - huge.  KJ gets to that ball first and runs out?  You may be able to ponder that one all summer, boy...

5) Speaking of Rondo:  Yes, we know he is a social deviant, his own teammates hate him, and the organization is constantly trying to trade him even though he is an outstanding player.  What we didn't know about him, until tonight, is that he might have the longest fingernails I have ever seen on a man.  Ewwww-iccckkkkkyyyy!!!  A first-half closeup of those claws had me a little queasy.  You know last game when I told you how much I love naturally full eyebrows, that it's a huge turn-on?  You know what is a huge turn-off?  Ashy, pointy-eared aliens with half-inch razors spiking off the tips of their fingers!  Uggghhhh, I'm getting the creepy-crawlies again right now.  I'm going to be flaccid for a month, or more.  Good God, can't one of those veteran Celtics take him aside and teach him something about grooming?  M.Minutos threatened to divorce me if I re-wound the dvr back to look at it again - I would have anyways, but I was worried my retinas might have been irreparably burned...

6) Two quick notes here, then I am going to try to get some sleep.  One, T.Minutos made a impassioned claim that the KFC ad that I love so much is not actually a party but a scene at an outdoor mall.  She makes the points that, one, it is more plausible that the magician would actually be a street-performer rather than a magician who performs at adult cocktail parties; and, two, that if it were a party, why would the guy have a bucket of chicken?  Probably got it in the mall somewhere. I think she's right, and now I hate this ad.  The thing I liked best (besides the handsome star) was that it looked like a great outdoor party...Second, tonight we were inundated with ads for Miller beer - now they have a little punch-hole on top of the can that you open with your key, "for a smoother pour."  I've so many rough pours with a regular beer can spout - it's a huge relief for me to know that isn't going to haunt me any longer.  One of the Greatest Friends of this Blog ever (and also the only Celtics fan I don't despise and actually feel happy for), WebMinutos, is a world-class chef, and also a well-known connoisseur of both beer and party wines.  He's probably too modest to take the credit for it, but I have to believe that he played some role in this new Miller spout - smacks of his love of both easy-pouring and mass-produced, generic American beers.  You are skilled, WebMinutos; I exhort you.
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Well, believe it or not, there is still another game in this series.  I think a lot of people (like me) feel like we have all suffered enough, but, no, there is still more!  We'll be back Thursday, when we either get eliminated - and sign off this blog for the summer (forever?) - or force a Game 7.  If you need me before then, I'll be at the store buying a few extra sets of nail-clippers just so I make sure I never, ever, ever, end up with fingernails like Rondo's.  Argghhhh!!! 
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Celtics 93 Heat 91 ot Series tied 2-2

6 Thoughts

1) Ohhhh, I'm not even going to lie, that one hurt.  Miami looked atrocious early, Boston didn't miss a shot, and for most of the first three quarters, the Celtics were leading by double digits, and as many as 18.  I'm not even sure what exactly happened - but somehow Miami clawed back into the game, only to have it slip away at the very end, despite numerous opportunities to win.  Killer.  On the other hand, special guest at Casa Dos watching the game tonight: M.Minutos' best friend T.Minutos.  It was a pleasure having her!  But if I am ever going to have to sit through another game where the Heat get down 18, I give up, we claw back into it, then lose anyways, please don't come back.  Let us go...

2) Missed opportunities: three stand out in my mind, and will haunt me, maybe for the rest of my life, or at least until Tuesday when we play Game 5 (not including the cluster-f which was Miami's last play of regulation - we'll get to that in #4).  First, in regulation with under 4 minutes to go, up 2, Miami came down and Wade stroked a triple from the top that went halfway down and came out.  Everything was going their way - get up 5, man, and I like our chances.  How did that ball not go in?  Second, Battier had an open corner triple in overtime down 1 with a couple of minutes to go - he shot it true, but it kicked off the back iron.  Finally, on the last play of the game, Dwyane Wade took the ball one-on-one against Marquis Daniels, okey-doked him into the air, leaned to the right and launched a triple to win the game.  I'm definitely cool with a three in that spot - since KJ James had fouled out (I know, I know, we'll get to that in #3), playing another overtime was pretty much unthinkable.  I really would have preferred Dwyane drive hard into the lane and try to kick it to a shooter - Battier, James Jones, and Almario Vernard Chalmers were all on the court - but whatever.  As it was, his shot was off-balance, but, like Battier's, had a true flight - just came up half an inch short.  What can you do?  Oh - one thing you can do is complain about the officiating! Let's do that in #3.

3) I'm actually not really going to complain about the officiating.  I suppose on the whole it was fine, for a playoff game on the road - this is what you get, this is what you expect.  You have to fight through it.  You would expect back in Miami on Tuesday that an extra 50-50 call or two will go Miami's way.  But KJ James fouled out on two of the tougher calls you will see - I think.  I mean, yes, I'm totally and completely biased, but they didn't seem like fouls on KJ.  The 5th, with 5:30 to go in regulation, came when he fronted Kevin Garnett in the midpost, and Garnett tried to swim up around him, hooked him with an arm, and discarded him to the floor.  The referee, Bill Kennedy, I believe, called a double-foul: fouls on both Garnett and KJ.  I'm still not sure what he was saying KJ did.  KJ, yes, he was off-balance, so when Garnett hooked him and pushed, he fell - but that doesn't make it a foul on him.  GFOB Plumber, a Nets fan, offered that the call reminded him of the scene in Beverly Hills Cop when Eddie Murphy gets thrown through a window, then arrested, and he tells the po-lice "Where do you guys get off arresting somebody for getting thrown out of a window?"  KJ got thrown down - not sure how that's a foul on him...The sixth foul was more damaging, not even because he had to the leave the game, but because it potentially cost the Heat a bucket with 2 minutes to go in overtime.  KJ ran out in transition, down 1, got Mickael Pietrus on his back, tried to back him down, then while the pass was in the air, Pietrus wrapped his arm across KJ's chest.  Do I think KJ then grabbed his arm?  Yes, I think he pinned his arm in there a little.  It caused Pietrus to fall off-balance, and Pietrus knowing if he fell back, KJ was going to catch the ball and get a layup, dragged him down.  Joey Crawford, probably looking for a fight, called a foul on KJ - said he grabbed the arm.  But he grabbed the arm, I would contend, that was already fouling him.  Whatever - what I'm saying is, one, that's playoff basketball - in Miami, that probably goes Miami's way (and I will concede - just like the Rondo call in Game 2 would probably have gone Boston's way in Boston).  More damaging, it was an empty possession in an overtime where Miami only scored 2 points. By the way, this was the first time KJ has ever fouled out of a game playing for the Heat.  Brutal time for it.

4) This is hard to believe, but my cable momentarily conked out with 1 minute to go in regulation, so I missed the KJ three from the wing that tied the game (saw it on the replays when it came right back on).  But I did see the last play of regulation, in a tie game, where Miami had the ball with seconds to go, Dwyane Wade dribbled the clock down, never really advanced the ball, flipped it to KJ James on the left wing, and then KJ drove it right towards the elbow.  I've only seen it once or twice - but I think someone else on the Heat also kind of ran into that general vicinity - I think it might have been Almario Vernard Chalmers.  In any case, KJ ended up surrounded by Celtics with about 4 seconds to go.  Instead of rising up to try a difficult fallway, he decided to try to throw it back across his body to Udonis Haslem on the left wing.  UD was open, but a Celtic tipped the pass from behind, and UD had to run to catch it, and heave a bad shot under duress.  Man, honestly, I wish KJ had just held the ball and shot the step-back from the left wing.  Maybe it was the right "basketball play," but the pass was really too late, I thought.  And I'm not sure if that was the design of the play - it looked like it broke down somehow.  It will be interesting to see what they all say about it in the post-game comments.  It was a disheartening moment - just want to see the KJ rise up and stick one with buzzer going off one of these times.  He's done it before - tonight would have been a good night for it. 

5) Doucheball report: uncharacteristically quiet night from Kevin Garnett.  Really didn't get into much of anything with anybody.  When he threw down KJ and KJ got his fifth foul, T.Minutos' husband B.Minutos texted in a timely "Doucheball," but if that's the sum total of douche-work for KG in a game, we all got off light.  Fortunately, Rajon Rondo picked up the slack.  Tried to kick Shane Battier in the first half while they were both lying on the court, first in the groin, then in the face, because Battier had drawn a charge on him: "How dare you draw a charge on me - here's a swift kick to the chops!"  After getting a technical foul for that, he then, in his halftime on-court interview with Doris Burke, claimed that what was working for the Celtics was that "the Heat are complaining and whining in transition every play" (we didn't see that in Casa Dos, by the way, read it on twitter - you'll see why in #6).  How dare you Rajon Rondo?  That's only Dwyane Wade complaining and whining in transition on every play, not our whole team!  And this coming from a player who plays for a coach who has the general in-game demeanor of the dude who wanted everyone to get off Britney Spears' back.  Regardless - it's the kind of classless comment that identifies Rondo as a social deviant.  There's a reason that as good as he is, the Celtics are constantly trying to trade him.  Odd kid.

6) Well, we didn't see Rondo's halftime comments because as soon as that horn went off, T.Minutos, M.Minutos, and I quickly changed the channel over to the Miss USA contest to check in!  First of all, it was hosted by Bravo's Andy Cohen.  I think I have said it in this blog before, but I love this gentleman. He's openly and proudly gay (while I am sort of still in the closet, and truthfully, pretty much straight), and he's got a winning smile, and an intoxicating joie de vivre!  Secondly, as soon as we turned it on, someone described one of the contestant's dresses as a "party bowl of confetti!"  (I later pointed out I felt the same way about Rajon Rondo's headband, and T.Minutos pointed out that it accentuates his elf ears - that's because he's an alien, by the way) Thirdly, one of the judges was a very, very strung-out looking Arsenio Hall.  The circles under his eyes were as dark as Wesley Snipes' skin.  Not sure what Arsenio's been up to.  But most importantly, T.Minutos, one of the Greatest Friends of the Blog ever, and one of the longest, learned something she didn't know about me.  And by the way, there's not much she doesn't know about me already - she and I went to the tattoo parlor together years ago when she got inked, and I got my nipples pierced (I mean, she would have gone with me when I went to get my nipples pierced, if I ever had gotten my nipples pierced, which of course I didn't, since that would be absurd).  Also, I assume she and M.Minutos do girl-giggle fests where they tell each other everything about their men - probably not that much to tell about B.Minutos, he's super-solid, but I may have a skeleton or two in the closet.  But she didn't know this: I love big eyebrows!  Super-sexy.  I mean really thick eyebrows, au naturel, like old-school Jody Whatley!

Hellz yeahhh!  Bushy eyebrows - that's pure sex, dude!  I'm so worked up now just thinking about it, I don't know what I'm going to do after I finish writing this!...Oh, oh - anyways, so in the Miss USA contest, guess who won?  The girl with the bushiest eyebrows, Miss Rhode Island! 

Yeah, she might be shaping them a little too much, but in between those contests, I bet those babies grow out like a kudzu plant.  And guess what?  My family has a house in Rhode Island - I could be there tomorrow!  Big eyebrows are back!  The Heat may have lost tonight, but I feel like a big, big winner!
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Game 5 in Miami on Tuesday.  Do or die time again - they had one last series against Indiana, down 2-1, and this is another.  This game got to be got.  At this juncture, not much point hoping Bosh makes it back - even if he did, it's hard to see how he would be ready to step into this intense of a series after this much time away.  We'll see.  If you need me before then, I'll be watching eyebrow porn.  Have a good Monday!
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Celtics 101 Heat 91 Heat lead 2-1

6 Thoughts

1) Look, this is how the NBA goes: if you get ahead 2-0 in a playoff series by winning the first two on your home floor, you aren't winning Game 3.  You just aren't.  Your energy is going to be a touch down.  The other team's energy is going to be sky high - their whole season is on the line.  The NBA's going to give you an inexperienced refereeing crew that's more likely than not to be swayed by the home crowd, and the other team's head coach is going to complain about the officiating publicly in between games.  In this case, the unbelievably whiny Doctor Rivers has been complaining about Dwyane Wade and KJ James getting "star treatment!"  Your team has Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Rajon Rondo, and Paul Pierce, and you are complaining about Miami getting "star treatment" - really?  That's the most plausible theory you can come up with?  None of this is new, none of this is a complaint - the Heat have benefitted from this plenty of times, too.  And nobody is immune to it - the Spurs hadn't lost a game since, like, the Eisenhower administration, beat OKC the first two games of their series in San Antonio, then lost Game 3 in OKC last night by like 100 points.  It is what it is.  All you can do is get your mind right, bring it for Game 4 - by then you're a little more acclimated (hopefully), you can sort of recalibrate your energy level, and adjust for the home calls the other side is going to get.  This is what makes it good, this is why the playoffs are exciting - nothing's easy.  This game could have spoiled M.Minutos' 40th birthday, but she's been around a minute, she knew what to expect, she shrugged it right off...Let's go...

2) The Heat were down 24 in this game in the fourth quarter.  Just one of those nights.  I would have waived the white flag, but not Coach Spo.  He went ultra-small (Chalmers, Battier, Wade, Mil-lar, KJ James) and tried to fight back into the game.  Mil-lar made back-to-back triples, James (16-26 for 34 points) and Wade (9-20 for 18) got to the rim a little, and Miami pulled to within 8 with 2 minutes to go.  Wade okey-doked someone into the air, jumped into him, took the contact, and missed the jumper - no foul.  The Celtics got a layup at the other end - ballgame,  Was it a foul?  Maybe.  Would it be called a foul in Miami?  Yep.  Did Paul Pierce get that exact call twice on KJ James tonight?  Yep.  Dwyane Wade shot zero free throws tonight in 42 minutes - do you think that happens very often?  Nope.  KJ James shot only 5. That's how it goes.  It's not unfair - in the NBA, the home team almost always gets the benefit of the doubt, especially in the playoffs.  Miami got a big non-call on a Rondo drive in Game 2.  Your choice is to, one, overcome the calls; or, two, lose.  No easy way out.     

3) Even more damaging than the home-to-road refereeing adjustment was the Heat's lack of defensive intensity, and their continued inability to make free throws.  Boston's not a great offensive team - they are a great defensive team.  But tonight they dropped 30-25-30 in the first three quarters.  That's not good defending  Too many layups - they ended up shooting 50% from the floor...But even with the refereeing and even with the poor defense, look, if Miami made any free throws, they still may have been right there.  They missed 16 in Game 2 and escaped.  Tonight they made only 10-20:  KJ  made only 1-5, Almario Vernard Chalmers, who was otherwise solid, 3-6.  After a flurry of early misses, you know who finally stepped up and drilled two?  Joel Anthony!  Butter!  He greased that ball up and slipped it right into that net, boy! 

4) Kevin Garnett was great.  He's a freak, he's like 50 years old and still incredibly spry.  He's finally figured out two things.  First, with Chris Bosh out, he's 5" taller than anyone Miami puts out on the floor.  He set up shop near the rim, caught the ball, and flipped it in: 24 on 10-16 for KG.  He also realized that without Bosh, he doesn't need to guard Joel Anthony or Ronny Turiaf, so he's ignoring them and standing down in the lane deterring Wade and James from getting to the rim - that's a big reason why they only shot 5 free throws between them.  Nowhere to go in there.  Against Indiana, Roy Hibbert utilized the same strategy as Garnett, but it wasn't nearly as effective, which is mostly attributable to the fact that he is Roy Hibbert.  Save Bosh coming back, I'm not sure how Miami counters that - when they played KJ at center in the 4th quarter they made a huge run, but I'm not sure they can play that way the whole game.  The easiest answer is that Bosh suddenly gets healthy, but we don't know how close that is...Garnett did also break out the doucheball a little tonight, although, to be honest, he's been fairly restrained in this area thus far in the series.  He sent Almario Vernard Chalmers flying on a blatantly illegal screen on the baseline early in the second half, and then, later, drilled him up high with an intentional elbow, drawing a technical foul.  You think KG gives an f about a technical foul?  KG laughs at technical fouls!  He eats technical fouls for breakfast!  He takes a technical foul, ties it to the bedposts, slaps it around, teases it, then leaves it there tied up and goes out for a sandwich.  Technical foul - Ha!

5) During the games, we are getting this one ad for the Rand Eye institute in Miami - lasik surgery.  It's odd because I assume it is a local ad, but it's on ESPN.  I guess they are selling local ad slots, but I never remember that being the case before.  Maybe national advertisers are wary of being linked to doucheball.  Anyways, it also odd because the testimony in the ad comes from a young man named Errol - not Errol Flynn, a young Errol dude - and he tells us halfway through the ad, "I got the custom lasik."  Really?  You sprung for the custom treatment?  Big spender!  I would probably try to save a little cash by just going generic. "Yeah, my eyes are kind of round and hazel-colored, but I'll take whatever you've got, I'll take the brown squinty eyes, sure.  I'll take a bit of a lazy eye if you give me a 15% discount." ... GFOB Thor just got lasik and he's never been more eagle-eyed.  I spent Memorial Day at his house and he was reading a list of most highly-compensated celebrities from a magazine to me - didn't stumble once while reading, it was like he had x-ray vision.  He probably paid for the custom surgery...

6) It's M.Minutos' 40th birthday today (June 1).  I played hooky from work and we went out to lunch at a cool spot called Brule in Pineapple Grove.  They have a small but eclectic beer list.  Mostly German beers.  I'm part-English, part-Jewish - do you think I'm going to drink a German beer?  Oh, hell no.  I went with an English beer named Fullers.  It was bright and delicious - a little bit of a party wine, frankly...We had a nice dinner at a Cuban restaurant with O. and P. Minutos, opened some presents, and there may or may not be some secret festivities planned for tomorrow.  Best of all, for her, she doesn't know this yet, but as soon I as finish up spell-checking this sucker, I'm going to in there to give her a present that she won't believe.  Un-wrapped!  Ewwwwww!!!!!    
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We'll be back at this Sunday for Game 4.  If you need me before then, I'll be squinting it up all over town with my crappy 20-2,000 vision.  When is Obama putting in free lasik for everyone?  See you Sunday, Happy Birthday, M.Minutos, I love you!
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