Summer Update!

6 Thoughts

1) Time for a lil summer update, see what's up, see what the dilly, see what's the haps, see what's really goin' on...First of all, we signed WALTER RAY ALLEN.  Listen, in Casa Minutos, there are really only three basketball players that matter.  I mean really matter.  One, Udonis Haslem - no one is chiller, no one bleeds Miami more than UD.  No one matters more than UD.  Two, Dwyane Wade.  He's the best player in franchise history - by a mile.  He's one of the best players in the history of the league.  I mean, he's not one of the 10 best, no, but he's certainly one of the greatest two guards of all-time, any list of all-time guards has to include him.  He's won one title as Finals MVP, then constructed a totally different team that went to back-to-back Finals and won another title.  Not many players in the history of the league have a resume better than that.  Three, Walter Ray Allen.  I'm from Connecticut; he's the all-time Connecticut hero.  No one has ever represented a state better than he has repped our state - he is bright, personable, cool, and the best shooter in the history of the NBA.  He starred in a major motion picture ("He Got Game").  He won a title a couple of years ago, albeit under difficult and extremely unpleasant circumstances.  Maybe most importantly, he went bald gracefully - in this way, his signing alone should be a major positive (Lebron - do you feel me?).  For the last five years or so, he's been in basketball hell, surrounded by the douchiest collection of players in NBA history.  Now, not only has he been freed from Boston's chamber of douche-y horrors, he's taken less money to come to Miami to spot up and fire open triples for two months next spring when the playoffs roll around.  AND HE'S PLAYING WITH UDONIS HASLEM AND DWYANE WADE!!!  THE ONLY THREE BASKETBALL PLAYERS WHO MATTER - ON THE SAME TEAM!!! 

2) Well, LeBron won us an Olympic gold medal, just like Dwyane won us one in 2008.  You're welcome again, America.

3) Listen, as I wrote many times in this blog, I supported whatever Dwight Howard felt he had to do to get out of Orlando.  Just because the city is so dreadful, it is probably the worst playing situation in the NBA, outside of Boston.  I didn't really want him to end up on the Lakers - although, to my credit, I think I predicted about 400 times that this was where he would end up - because with Kobe, Pau Gasol, and Steve Nash, that team would be a super-big problem in the Finals.  But it sure is better than some Eastern Conference team building a squad around him capable of making it difficult for Miami to make it to the Finals.  Whewwwww!  I played this one straight up, too - easily could have tried to reverse jinx him off of Brooklyn or Atlanta or the Knicks, but I didn't.  I sincerely felt like he would end up in LA all along, I said so, and it worked out for us.  Sometimes honesty pays off - not often, true, but sometimes...Smooottthhhh sailing in the Eastern Conference, peoples!

4) NBA champ Almario Vernard Chalmers' Twitter Corner: "For one of my last vacations I think I wanna go back to Alaska for the State Fair.  Who wanna go wit me?  The fair food is amazing.  Turkey leg."

5) Okay, so me and the fam went up to New England, where I'm from, for about ten days.  I noticed a couple of things.  One, a lot of white people where I come from.  A lottttt.  I mean, we really have a legacy of whiteness up there.  Our absolute lack of diversity is noticeable, and not a little bit inspiring...Second, and more importantly, just like down here: YOU CAN'T FUCKING PARK ANYWHERE JUST BY USING COMMON SENSE!!!  Yes, I got another parking ticket.  As M.Minutos is my witness, and she was, I drove around for at least, umm, 4 minutes trying to find a parking spot on a Newport side street that didn't require a neighborhood parking sticker.  Exactly - a neighborhood parking sticker.  The heck?   "Yeah, I know these are public streets with, like, businesses and restaurants and stuff that people want to go to, but you can only park on them if you have a special sticker that you pay for."  Oh, my bad, that totally makes sense.  But at least you didn't fail to put up a sign anywhere for three blocks either way identifying this particular street as sticker-worthy, then slap a $25 ticket on my mom's Volvo station wagon six minutes after I put it in park.  Je-sus!  Guess what, Mr. Po-lice-Meter-Maid - I'm paying that ticket!  You know why?  Because I parked illegally there so I could run in and booty your sister before you got off your shift!  Best $25 I ever spent...Predictably, upon my return to South Florida, The Captain placed all the blame on me, claiming that I probably just didn't look hard enough for a restricted parking sign.  Guess where else people had that attitude?  Munich, in 1939 - "oh, no - the government's just trying to help people figure out where to park!  Yeah, whites over here, Jews over here, blacks over there...you know, they're just trying to keep everything organized!"

6) This is a totally true story: my family has a beach house in Jamestown, Rhode Island, which is just across the bridge from Newport.  It's a small little little island and the house is within easy walking distance of the "downtown" - one small street of fairly upscale restaurants and drinking establishments (it's kind of a fancy island).  Every night, M.Minutos and I would walk into town after dinner and have a cocktail or two.  One evening we were joined by Great Friend of the Blog Plumber and his wife.  We went to the outside bar at this little restaurant Fish.  We hadn't been in there for 5 minutes before I looked over to my left and saw the great American actor Conrad Bain.  You know: Mr. Drummond from "Different Strokes!"  This dude:

I mean, understandably, I was excited.  Some of my companions were skeptical but, honestly, there really wasn't a credible argument that he wasn't Conrad Bain.  Okay, there was one potentially credible argument - M.Minutos googled him on her phone and learned that he has a twin brother named Bonar Bain - but, really, would Bonar Bain be at an outside patio bar at Fish in Jamestown, Rhode Island?  Exactly - no, he wouldn't.  So Mr. Drummond and his companions - a handsome woman of about 80, and another elderly couple, were seated at a high "bar-type" table, and there were some low-slung couches directly behind them.  As soon as those couches were vacated, I scooted over there to get a better view, and also to hear if he was going to talk at all about raising two young black kids (hey  I'm just like Mr.D!) - he didn't, unfortunately.  I also may have convinced a couple sitting nearby us that this was indeed Mr. Drummond, and there may have been some pointing, some whispering, and some chortling.  Finally, after a long while, Drummond got up to leave, and this woman whom I had included in my stakeout gestures him over and says, "Do you know you look like a very famous actor?" - by the way, I appreciated the effort, but this made me mad; he didn't look like him, he was him!  But before she could even get it all out, Drummond interrupted her, looked out over all of us, and goes, "Do you people know you look like a bunch of toads in a swamp?"  And then he strode (drunkenly) off!  HAAAAAAA!!!  This was the best possible thing he could have said!  M.Minutos and I have been arguing about it since the moment he said it - she thinks, somehow, that he was saying we were all on drugs.  I don't really follow her logic, but she is very adamant.  I think he was basically calling us nincompoops, and that since we were sitting down there on low-slung couches, he kind of played off that imagery, like we were down below him like toads in a swamp.  Either way, the most important thing?  He didn't deny that he was Mr. Drummond!  Score!!!...Epilogue: the next night for a brief moment I thought Kurt Russell was at Spinnaker's Ice Cream Shop, but a closer look revealed that it wasn't him.

Back soon!  Enjoy the rest of your summer!  Oh yeah, one more thing: Champs.

Heat 121 OKC 106 Heat win series 4-1

8 Thoughts (special championship edition)

1) Champs.

2) KJ James.  For two straight days, all I could think about was what if somehow this title slips away, what if OKC comes back and wins three straight?  There's no way I could watch KJ James go through that, there's no way I could watch another human being go through that, come so close to his dream, and then watch it disappear - no, I couldn't watch anyone go through that, I'd have to drink arsenic or something, because I could never watch another human being go through that (okay - maybe Kevin Garnett, I could watch him go through that)...Thankfully, no one had to.  You know why?  Cuz: BALL SO HARD, WE BALL SO HARD, YOU THE CHAMP, KJ, YOU DID IT BOY, YOU REALLY DID IT, YOU THE CHAMP, BOY, YOU DID IT!  BALL SO HARD, BALL SO HARD, BOY!!!  YEAAAAAHHHHHHHAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!  26 points, 13 assists, 11 rebounds in an elimination game!  He dominated this game by getting middle, finishing with force at the rim, and finding and trusting shooters (and did they ever deliver).  Everything anyone ever wanted from KJ, he delivered in this series.  He beat Kevin Durant up so bad in the post that they had to take Durant off him, and then beat up Sefalosha and Harden the same way.  He lived in the lane - he was 7-38 from outside the paint in the series.  That's 18%.  He dominated this series without making jump shots.  He had one of the greatest regular seasons anyone has ever played, and he had one of the greatest postseasons anyone has ever had.  What are people going to talk about now?  He's The King - (King James James - Hubeism!).  He's not Dwyane in this city - no one will ever be Dwyane in this city - but he'll do.

3) Mike Mutherf*cking Mil-lar.  Oh, you mutherf*cker!  HE MADE 7 F*CKING TRIPLES IN AN ELIMINATION GAME EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T WALK!  HE MADE 7-8 TRIPLES!!! HE SCORED 23 POINTS!!! YOU MUTHERF*CKER!!!  One game after Almario Vernard Chalmers (he's the starting point guard for the current NBA champs, you know) had a dream game with 25 points, prompting Dwyane Wade to strut down the tunnel at The Trip, live on national television, screaming at him, "Mario Mutherf*cking Chalmers!  Youuu mutherf*cker!," Mil-lar, maybe, topped it.  Certainly it was less expected - at least Emcee Chalmers is ambulatory.  Mil-lar's four first half triples helped push Miami out to a 17 point lead.  OKC was ready to go - a series of bizarre flop calls, primarily drawn by James Harden, helped temporarily keep them around, only down 10 at halftime.  But Mil-lar, and the rest of the team, never stopped making threes - Mil-lar hit back-to-backers to start the fourth quarter, his 6th and 7th of the game, to push the lead to 27, and essentially end all the drama.  Mil-lar made 7-8; NBA champion Almario Vernard Chalmers made 2-4; Shane Battier, who was unbelievably good this series on both ends of the court, made 3-7; Norris Cole made 1-2; and Chris Bosh (more on him in #5) hit the only three he took off a KJ drive-and-kick (they were pretty much all off KJ drive-and-kicks!) late in the third quarter to push the lead to 22, which made you think, "it can't get any better, it just can't go any better," except for a moment later Mike Mil-lar made his 5th of the game to push the lead to 25!  Miami made 100 out of 100 triples in this game - you can't do any better than that, it was unbelievable!!! Wait- what?  Oh: 14-26!  Still - so awesome!  Don't think anyone saw that coming!

4) Don't want to even write this one.  I love Dwyane Wade so much.  I love that man, and every time I think of him in the aftermath here, I choke up a little.  I love basketball - it brings such joy into my life, I grew up with it.  I shared it with my brother as kids, and now as adults.  I share it with my family - M.Minutos and I have spent more time watching basketball together than doing anything else, except getting freaky between the sheets.  I shared it with my best friends in high school, and in college, like GFOB Plumber, and even Celtics fans like Delaney and Web.  My kids love it - okay, one of them loves it, P.Minutos could care less (but for a kid who could care less, he knows more about it than any other kid who could care less alive, since he lives in Casa Minutos - example: he looks at twitter the other day, sees my home page, and goes, "hey, Pat Riley" - he's 8).  And, I share it with all "you people."  Watching Dwyane Wade play basketball these past 9 seasons has been so much fun.  It's not just that he has been so successful, and won two titles, and been to the Finals three times - it's also that his style of play is so exciting.  He swashes buckles!  He storms barns!  He was great tonight, he scored 20 points, and had 8 (!) rebounds, and 3 assists, and 3 (more!) blocks, and in a game filled with plays I will always remember, he probably made my favorite: with the rout on late in the third quarter, he caught the ball in full gallop down the left side of the court with only the impossibly rude and insolent Russell Westbrook back for OKC.  Everyone knew what was coming - everyone knew what was coming - and Wade looked right, across the lane, at a phantom teammate cutter, the reprehensible Westbrook leaned slightly that direction, and then Wade Euro-stepped him back to the left, Westbrook tried to grab him around the shoulders, but Wade ripped through, finished, and made the free throw for a 26 point lead with a minute left in the third quarter.  Dwyane Wade won one title, in 2006, pretty much by himself; then put this team together, pretty much by himself, and won another title.  That's a pretty good resume.  Remember that play tonight forever, boy; love you forever, boy...

5) Chris Bosh might have been the best defensive player on the court in this series.  Think about that for a second: Chris Bosh might have been the best defensive player on the court in this series.  It was like he saved every ounce of aggression, energy, and effort for this one series.  He has always been a guy who played defense correctly, positionally, but in this series he added a genuine passion for stopping the offensive players!  If you only watched tape of this series, you'd say, "Oh, this guy is one of the better defensive players in the league, that's clear."  Umm, nooooo, not exactly.  Listen, it helps that OKC neither has a strong rolling threat to the basket (Perkins, Ibaka, and Collison are not great finishers, though they have other skills), nor perimeter players who are overly skilled at moving the ball to open bigs (although they are absolutely incredible scorers), so Bosh could pretty much ignore his cover and help defend OKC's wings.  But he was so conscientious about it, he closed out so hard on shooters, he made such an effort to get to loose balls, and rebounds - he wasn't recognizable as Chris Bosh, he really wasn't.  Tonight he was also great offensively, with OKC trying to double KJ more, he rolled to the rim, caught passes, and finished: 9-14, 24 points, 7 rebounds, and 2 blocks.  I think it is safe to say that Miami's struggles against Indiana and Boston were primarily a function of losing Bosh early in the Pacers series (and having to adjust how they played on the fly).  It is tough to remember that two different times, Miami was on the ropes: down 2-1 and 10 at half in Indiana, and down 3-2 and going to Boston.  But once Bosh came back and found his legs, Miami got right.  I hope that he feels incredibly proud of himself.  He's a champion now.   

6) Someone said this well on tv, don't remember who: OKC got outplayed in this series, but not outclassed.  He meant on the court, talent-wise, and he was spot on.  They walked into a tornado tonight, they got pummeled from start to finish (first basket: a thunderous KJ James tomahawk dunk in transition), but the first 4 games were very close - Miami was able to play from ahead down the stretch in most of them, and made a few more plays at key moments.  I would also add that, aside from Russell Westbrook, they didn't get outclassed as people, either.  I don't remember another playoff series in which I liked the opponent so much - that's mostly because I love Durant, I guess, who was as gracious as always in defeat: hugged KJ James for a long time at midcourt, and made sure to congratulate every member of the Heat.  And what a scorer: even tonight, going against two of the best wing defenders in the league, he poured in 32 points on 13-24.  He's one of my favorite players in this league...And I love their coach Scott Brooks, who never complained about refereeing during the series, even when he had reason to, and who conducted himself with grace and dignity on the sidelines at all times, in stark contrast to the last series, in which Boston coach Doc Rivers constantly whined about the officiating in his press conferences and during off days, and questioned every call during the games, even the ones which went Boston's way (#doucheball).  With four minutes to go and the Thunder down by 60 points, Brooks pulled his starters and told his team, "when this games ends, as much as it hurts, we are going to stay out here and show respect to Miami and congratulate them on a job well done, because they beat us fair and square." As M.Minutos noted, all this was really only for Russell Westbrook's benefit - every other player would have known to do that already.  Westbrook spent the waning moments of the game sulking on the bench and planning his vacation next week with Rajon Rondo to the Wisconsin Dells, in which they sit in their hotel room, pout, and watch movies for 10 days (#TeamEdward).  Westbrook aside, I love this team, and they will be back.  As pure scorers, this team is unparalleled - they don't even really run sets, they mostly just ask Durant, Westbrook, and Harden to individually break down their guys over and over.  Miami's a better defensive team - they made it just tough enough on those guys to win the series. 

7) To all the people who said: "This can't work - KJ and Dwyane Wade don't fit together," I say, as I have contended all along, you are ridiculous.  First of all, they were the best team last year - they already showed it can work.  They didn't lose last year because the parts didn't fit - they lost because they played poorly in the last five minutes of games for a week.  How you could watch a team get that close to a championship and conclude, "oh, see - this can't work?" I mean, that's one of the basic problems with us as humans - so many idiots.  As I've said many times before, the main similarity between Dwyane and KJ is that they both do everything well.  Which means that all you have to do is find role players who can do anything well, and Dwyane and KJ can take care of the rest.  Makes it slightly easier than the OKC model where Durant only does one thing great (score - and he is great) - that means you have to find other guys to do the things he can't do: defend, rebound, move the ball.  If anything, this series showed that the gap between KJ and KD (if KD is the next best player in the league) is wider than even reasonable people thought.  I love KD, but they had to take him off KJ because he couldn't guard him, and kept getting into foul trouble trying to.  And he didn't rebound - grabbed 11 tonight to push his average to 6 for the series (by the way, he's 7 feet tall).  KJ averaged 10 boards a game, and also 7 assists (KD 2 per game).  KJ James is better.  And all these people, these absurd so-called experts who don't make any effort to understand what is actually going on in a basketball game (Bucher, and Wilbon, and Simmons, and Barry, and blah, and blah, blah), and who analyze players by citing "the will to win," and the "fire in a player's eyes" - congratulations: you were wrong.  And you made America a little dumber for the past couple of years, which, by the way, is a pretty big accomplishment, not that easy to do.  In the end, the people who really know about basketball is a pretty short list: it's only Jeff Van Gundy, Stephen A Smith, and me.  Okay: it's just Stephen A. Smith.

8) I wrote the following post the day of Game 6 versus Boston, which I assumed we would lose, ending our season, because I always assume we will lose every playoff game we play in.  The story really happened that day, not today, and all the sentiments still hold true.  Oh, and yes, by writing this season-ending post in advance, I absolutely reverse-jinxed us into a championship, just as I reversed jinxed KJ James onto the Heat two summers ago by asserting that "he is not welcome here."  When I started this blog four seasons ago, it was really just to document the second halves of the careers of Dwyane, Udonis, and myself - we're all going out together you know, when they're done, I'm done - I didn't know I was going to cause us to win another championship...You're welcome, Heat fans - I reverse-jinxed this title for you... 

I had a meeting in downtown Boynton Beach today.  Oh, what was it about?  Basically, how to ball so hard...Anyways, after the meeting I was near one of O. and P.Minutos' favorite pizza joints, so I called Casa Minutos and told the fam I would bring home pizza, went inside, ordered, then went for a little walk in the neighborhood while waiting for the 'za.  Stopped in at a Starbucks to get some iced coffee - somehow, out of iced coffee, so they gave me a free iced Cafe Americano and a gift certificate for a free drink next time when they assumed they would have, you know, coffee.  Ch-ch-ch-ching!  So I continued walking down the street, and as I walked by a Blockbuster (one of the few remaining!) a Range Rover pulled up on the curb and a dude with a rolled down window leaned out with a DVD and was like, "Hey, could you drop this in the slot for me?"  Nothing I love more than helping other people, so I was like, "yes, I can," and I gladly took the movie. It was Safe House, starring Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds.  If there is anything I love more than helping other people, it's chit-chatting with strangers, so I was like, "oh, how did you like this," and the guy was like, "it was pretty good, I really enjoyed it," and I was like, "how was Ryan Reynolds," and he was like, "not as great as Ryan Gosling would have been, but still outstanding - really good actor!"  By the way, that guy in the Range Rover?  My friend Thor...Which reminds me, thanks to all the GFOBs (Great Friends of The Blog) this year.  We have the coolest readers - they read, they write in, they substitute for me when I'm on vacation (thanks Snets!), they give us ideas of topics to write about, they text during games that I'm not even watching yet since I'm dvr'ing and spoil the outcome, they even bring me to the games (thanks A.H.Minutos)!  So, so good!  In a weird, little dorky way, it is so much fun to write this blog, and then get feedback, whether positive ("made me laugh"), or negative ("you're an idiot").  Not sure if the blog will be back next year.  It has been four seasons now, and that's a lot - a lot - of writing about basketball.  The problem really isn't even the writing: it's all the watching, and then the writing.  Hours and hours and hours of time spent on the project.  By the close of the season, again, I'm toast and praying for the end.  Yet, somehow, by the start of the next season, I am always fired up to write again.  So, we'll see.  Either way: thank you all for the support!    
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No more games!!!  If you need me before the next one, I'll be doing nothing!!!  Love you all!!!  Champs!
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Heat 104 Thunder 98 Heat lead 3-1

6 Thoughts

1) Really?  Let's go.

2) Shane Battier just made one of the best basketball plays I've ever seen, and no one's ever going to talk about it.  Everyone is going to talk about the play that followed, an absolute brain fart by the completely unlikable Russell Westbrook, but Battier created the situation.  With Miami clinging to a 3 point lead with about 15 seconds to go, KJ James clearly done for the night with severe leg cramps, and 5 seconds to go on the shot clock (on a reset from .8 due to a tie up), there was a jump ball at Miami's offensive free throw line.  James Harden vs Udonis Haslem.  There was a reasonable expectation that UD would win that jump ball, so Battier lined up on the far right side of the circle, trying to create a crease for UD to back-tap the ball to Dwyane Wade, who would then have only 5 seconds to create a play to put the game away, and keep OKC from getting one last chance to tie the game, send it overtime (remember: no KJ), and get even in the series.  The ball went up, Harden and UD both jumped...and almost completely whiffed on the ball, UD may have gotten a slight finger on it.  As the ball came back down, Battier, in the insanely quick kind of nerd-like calculation he is best known for, realized that if Harden got to the second tip before UD, there was only one place he was going to tap it, which was back to the left-bottom of the circle to Kevin Durant.  As the ball dropped, Battier darted across the lane, anticipated the flight of the ball, leaped, and fully-outstretched, got up over the top of the longer, more athletic Durant, and batted the ball out to Almario Vernard Chalmers on the left wing...What followed was a bit of a fiasco for OKC - Westbrook could have forced Chalmers into an extremely difficult shot, but instead had somehow lost track of the score, or the time, or the shot clock - it's probably most likely he never looked at the shot clock, only the scoreboard - and took a foul intentionally, giving Miami's best shooter two free throws.  Ballgame.  As thoroughly reprehensible a personality as he possesses, Westbrook played one of the best games ever in the Finals - he scored 43 points on 20-32 from the floor, and had 7 rebounds and 5 assists.  It was absolutely painful to see him make a boneheaded play like that to cost his team a final chance, and by "absolutely painful," I mean, of course, "I could not have been more delighted!"  Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!  And the guy who played 40 minutes, and only scored 5 points - Shane Battier - made the whole thing happen...

3) He can't run very fast.  He can't jump very high.  He isn't a good passer, nor a solid decision-maker, and he can not distinguish the difference between "a solid contest" and "careening full-speed into an off-balance jump shooter at the end of the shot clock."  But all Almario Vernard Chalmers do do is what he do.  That's all: he doesn't do anything else, other than do what he do.  And what he did tonight was win this game down the stretch.  He scored 25 points, and 12 in the fourth quarter alone.  He made two incredibly large baskets in the final two minutes: the first on a scramble-drive to the hoop when he got around Nick Collison's Bosh-esque statute contest for a spinning layup, and the second when he beat Russell Westbrook off the dribble, then finished high off the glass over the NBA's leading shot-blocker, Serge Ibaka, with 44 seconds to go to put Miami up 5.  Both were just the kind of gyroscopic forays towards the rim that often end up in disaster for Almario, but in the biggest of moments, he made them both.  Almario has always been a unconscious kid, but he's our unconscious kid.  Everyone always dumps on him, yells at him, blames him for everything that goes wrong - most of all his teammates!  But he just keeps winding his way around the court, fouling a dude here, making a three there - he's totally unfazed by past mistakes, or criticism, or everyone in South Florida's total lack of confidence in him..And tonight he won a Finals game down the stretch.  Feel so good for him.    

4) Hard to believe you get down to #4 and you haven't even really talked about KJ James' night yet.  I don't know that it is possible to quantify how good he was in the second and third quarters.  Miami came out and clearly were in "KJ and Dwyane are going to try to pace themselves through the first half, stay close, and then turn it up a gear or two in the second half" mode.  They've used that technique effectively quite often in these playoffs.  Problem: OKC was in "absolute desperation" mode, and blew Miami off the court from the jump, getting ahead by as many as 17.  That when KJ went to Plan B:  Ball. So. Hard.  He went down to the block, and he went the freak to work.  It wasn't the scoring as much as it was the passing.  He backed in Sefalosha, he backed in Harden, he backed in Durant the few times KD guarded him (they took Durant off KJ to keep KD out of foul trouble - had him guard Chalmers), made a second, and sometimes third, defender come to help, and then found open shooters.  Norris Cole banged in two quick triples to start the comeback, then KJ found Playoff James Jones for another triple.  By the time Dwyane Wade stepped into a triple and drilled it off the dribble, Miami had erased the entire 17 point lead in just under four minutes.  At half KJ had 10 points, 6 rebounds, and 8 assists - that's a lot of assists in one half for a guy playing on the block.  He continued pouring it on in the third quarter, including one beastly back-down-and-spin-over-the-left-shoulder-for-the-jump-hook-off-the-window over Harden.  For two quarters, I really thought that was about as well as he could play.  By the start of the fourth quarter, with Miami pushing out to a 7 point lead, you could see he was running out of gas - he stopped going to the rim, and settled for jumpers.  Finally, with 5:30 to go, he literally just collapsed on a drive, totally cramped up (although he somehow managed to get up and make a short floater on the ensuing possession).  He sat out about a minute, then came back in limping like Mike Mil-lar.  Unable to move at all, with the game tied, the shot clock running down, and about 3 minutes to go, he rose up and stuck a triple to give the Heat the lead they wouldn't relinquish.  Big-time: 26 points, 9 rebounds, and 12 assists for KJ - all with maximum effort.  He literally played himself to exhaustion.  Ball so, so hard.  Sooo hard.  He came out after that, crouched in agony on the sideline, and watched Chalmers bring him home.  Just a performance you don't see every night (in a game filled with them).

5) Say what you will about Dwyane Wade: he's inefficient, he's hobbled, he's arguing too much, he's taking bad shots, he's making too many live ball turnovers - he was huge down the stretch.  First, subtly, with KJ out of the game, and OKC trapping him down the stretch, he did what he almost never does in situations like that: he got off the ball, moving it to Bosh for one key layup, and allowing Chalmers opportunities to get to the rim (Chalmers' forays were successful in large part because of the attention Dwyane demanded).  Even more importantly, with Miami up 3 and a minute to play, OKC ran a pick-and-roll and forced Wade to pinch in hard to cut off the path to the rim.  The pass by the driver - I think it was Westbrook - went to a wide-open Thabo Sefalosha, spotting up in the corner for a three-pointer.  Look, Sefalosha's not a great shooter, and maybe you just live with that shot, even up 3, especially since Westbrook had gotten to the rim over and over and over.  Except Dwyane didn't live with that shot.  He turned, jetted out towards the corner, and coerced one epic Dwyane Wade-type leap out of that ailing body, sailing towards the lanky Sefalosha, and getting just enough of the ball to steer it out of harm's way.  Best shot-blocking guard ever, by any measure.  Shane Battier grabbed the rebound, setting the scene for Chalmers' final big hoop.  At times he was inefficient, he is hobbled, he did argue, he took some bad shots, and he made some bad live-ball turnovers...But he also scored 25 points, had 5 rebounds, 3 assists, a couple of steals, a couple blocks, two big triples, and he made the most important defensive play of the game.  If Miami gets one of these next three games, his career resume is going to look pretty good.

6) Dallas tomorrow night at 9 o'clock.  Don't you dare even think about DVR'ing - you sit there and watch it live-action, jerky...   
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Well, Miami has three shots to get this done.  Man, I hope KJ is good to go on Thursday - there's only one night off, and he was cramping really, really badly.  I've cramped hard, and it can be sore for a couple of days.  It would be a good idea to try to get this done on Thursday, because going back to OKC for the last two games, even up 3-2, is a little bit daunting.  And the reality is, Miami needs KJ to grind on the block to win these games - we'll have to see how capable of that KJ is on Thursday.  If you need me before then, I'll be in the oil business!  Yee-haw!
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Heat 91 Thunder 85 Heat lead 2-1

6 Thoughts

1) Thanks to Couper Moorhead, who works for the Heat, for this stat: Miami shot 16% outside of the painted area tonight - 16%.  How many teams do you think won a game this entire season when they shot 16% outside of the painted area?  One.  One team, one time (Denver).  And I'm guessing they weren't playing high-powered, fast-running, explosive jumping, offensive juggernaut Oklahoma City. So how did Miami win?  Well,  KJ James and Dwyane Wade weren't overly efficient, but both made plays at the rim; Kevin Durant got in foul trouble again; back-to-back fouls on triples; and Chris Bosh's ferocious fourth quarter defense.  Wait- what?  Chris Bosh's ferocious fourth quarter defense?  Yes!  CHRIS BOSH'S FEROCIOUS FOURTH QUARTER DEFENSE!  NO ONE HAS EVER BELIEVED IN THE FEROCITY OF ANYTHING MORE THAN I BELIEVE IN THE FEROCITY OF CHRIS BOSH'S FOURTH QUARTER DEFENSE!!! LET'S GOOOOO!!!

2) KJ, man, we're going to cover his headiest play down in #4.  But, in general, he was really, really good again tonight.  He rim-attacked so hard early, setting the correct tone for the team.  He got Durant in foul trouble again with some aggressive plays on both ends.  In the second half, with Miami unable to knock down any jumpers, OKC shrunk the lane and made it very difficult for KJ or Dwyane Wade to get middle.  The offensive numbers weren't off the charts (for KJ): 11-23, 6-8 from the line (if he gets officiated like a normal player, that's 18 free throws, not 8), for 29 points.  And there were a couple of stagnant late possessions.  But there was a triple at the end of third quarter to put Miami up 2, completing a comeback from down 10.  There was a huge drive-and-finish over Kendrick Perkins for one bucket, and a beautiful little touch pass to Chris Bosh for two free throws up 1 with a minute to go.  He limited Durant to 4 fourth quarter points.  He grabbed 14 more rebounds.  He was the best player on the court, as he needs to be for Miami to have any chance to win these games...Dwyane was aggressive all night, but was, at times, a frenzy of bad shots, and had another mind-bogglingly bad turnover down the stretch that, for the second straight game, made Miami have to finish twice.  Still, he tried to live in the paint whenever possible - he shot only 8-22, but was 9-11 from the line, and had 7 boards and 7 dimes, and his drive-Euro-step-and-one finish over Kendrick Perkins to put Miami up 4 with 4 minutes to go propelled them towards the finish .  He doesn't have to be the best player on the court for Miami to win - that's KJ's job - he just has to help make enough plays, on both ends, to allow KJ to do what he do.  That's the proper dynamic now...

3) Chris Bosh was only 3-12 from the floor, and two of the hoops were easy first quarter dunks on screen-and-rolls that OKC didn't cover properly.  He did make 2 free throws under a minute to go with Miami clinging to a 1 point lead.  But his fourth quarter defense probably won the game.  For the better part of two seasons, he has spent the vast majority of his defensive energy on seeing how high and how straight he can stretch his arms into the air while offensive players weave around him and lay the ball into the basket.  But tonight he unveiled a whole new game plan: see where the offensive player is coming from, try to figure out where he's going, then get to that spot, jump, and try to hit the ball!  You know - like an NBA big man would do!  He was fabulous - he got credit for only two blocked shots, but I know for a fact he blocked three: a Westbrook layup, a Perkins layup from behind, and a Durant runner.  Also had a huge alter on Durant late, with just over a minute to go and Miami up three: Durant caught the ball at the short right wing, and KJ bodied him up, determined not to let Durant shoot that little jumper, which is automatic from that spot.  Durant made a good counter by ripping his arms through to his right hand, put the ball down for one dribble, and elevated for a little bank shot as KJ tried to ride his body a little bit...except here came Chris Bosh swooping in from the help side, elevating (sort of), and getting a fully outstretched contest, which forced Durant to shoot a 10 footer clear over to the wrong side of the backboard, where a hustling KJ, of all people, reeled it in.  it was the last shot Durant would take in the game as Miami held on, and it was just one of numerous contests Chris made in the fourth quarter.  If he's been saving all this defensive energy, he picked a great time to spring it on someone.  Chris Bosh: please keep this up.  However, if it's all the same with you, I'm going to try not to get my hopes up too much...

4) Great conversation with GFOB Plumber the other day about KJ James.  His theory: KJ doesn't play basketball with joy, he's a bit humorless out there.  It's a good observation, I've thought that as well, at times, that he can be a bit of an automaton.  Off the court, he seems to smile a lot, he's polite in interviews, every player says he is the biggest practical joker in the locker room, and players around the league all seem to like him, unlike Russell Westbrook, who is detested even by his own teammates (I would imagine).  But maybe he enjoys being in the NBA more than playing the games, if that makes any sense.  Or, maybe the pressure of trying to live up to an incredibly high standard wears on him.  Or, maybe he's just a serious dude out there.  I tend to think the latter is mostly true (with elements of the others sprinkled in).  If you watch KJ every night, one thing you learn about him is that he is a student of the game in a way that a lot of players (Dwyane, for one) is not.  KJ can wax rhapsodic about past greats, and also seems to know how every player in the league is playing at any given time - in Dwyane's case, sometimes it feels like he has such an arrogant belief in himself that he doesn't even pay attention to which players are on what other teams (which is fine - works for him).  Another thing you learn is that KJ is both the off-court and on-court leader of the team.  All the players will tell you he is the most vocal leader in the locker room (which has never been Dwyane's thing according to everyone associated with the team), and on the court as well.  He has a lot of responsibility.  So maybe what Plumber and I take as "humorless" is more "serious."  Not sure there's anything wrong with that - different guys have different personalities. I mean, Michael Jordan seemed to love basketball only in comparison to everything and everyone else on the planet, which he absolutely despised (except for making money)...No matter where the truth lies, on a key play tonight, KJ showed what a student of the game he is.  With Miami leading by 4 and 16 seconds to go, OKC had one last shot out of a timeout, ball at midcourt on the side.  Thabo Sefalosha was the inbounder, guarded by Udonis Haslem.  KJ's man, Durant, lined up on the block nearest the ball, and Russell Westbrook lined up with Wade guarding him at the elbow.  Before the ball was inbounded, KJ went over to Wade and told him to switch men, to go down and cover Durant, while KJ took Westbrook - he had sniffed out that Westbrook was going to screen down for Durant to pop up to the top to receive the ball.  Instead of potentially getting caught on the screen, and having the smaller Wade stuck on Durant, KJ just told Wade to switch the screen - when Westbrook screened down, KJ would stay in place and wait for Durant.  Moreover, he went over to Haslem and moved his positioning on the court, telling him to pinch the sideline to make it difficult for Sefalosha to throw it down to the corner.  When the ball was handed to Sefalosha, Westbrook ran down and screened, but Wade and KJ held their places - as Durant popped to the top, Sefalosha looked to inbound it to him, but KJ stayed right in the line of the entry, making it impossible to get it to KD.  Sefalosha then looked down to the corner to Westbrook, but UD was pinching the sideline so closely (thanks to KJ), that it looked like a very difficult pass.  It wasn't a great play drawn up by OKC - they expected they were going to inbounds it to Durant easily, and once KJ blew that up, there weren't a lot of other options.  Westbrook was in the corner with Wade - at the same moment Westbrook decided that that he had to try to run back up top to change the angle of the pass, Sefalosha decided he had to throw it down to the corner.  Westbrook vacated, and the ball went right to a very surprised Dwyane Wade.  Ballgame!  Score one for the very attentive KJ James!

5) Biggest stretch of the game: halfway through the third quarter, with OKC up 6, Durant got his fourth foul on a pretty weak call defending a Dwyane Wade drive (though I've always said: Dwyane puts refs in bad spots - you keep going in there aggressively, at some point someone's going to give you a call, even if it's a bad one).  Miami had a chance to cut it to three, but an Almario Vernard Chalmers triple went halfway down and popped out, and then, obviously, he immediately fouled Derrick Fisher on the other end as Fisher dropped a three, putting OKC up ten, and putting Miami on the brink.  But with four minutes to go, Shane Battier and James Jones were fouled shooting triples on back-to-back possessions (by Ibaka and Fisher), and made all 6 free throws to cut the lead to four, and stabilizing the Heat, who would end up leading by 2 after three.  Do.  Not.  Foul.  Jump.  Shooters.  Especially on triples.  Side note: if Derrick Fisher didn't get special treatment from referees because he is "tough" and "a winner" he'd foul out in four minutes in every game in which he played.  He is the biggest hatchet act I've ever seen in this league.  I'm not even complaining or hating - it is what it is.  I'm just saying if you watched some kind of isolation on him for a game ("Fish Doing Work"), it would be an absolute joke.  He literally fouls, somehow, every possession on both ends of the court.

Bonus) This kid is spot on: 

6) This is no joke: you know what I thought when I was taking a shower this morning?  I thought: "When does Dallas come on again?"  And it wasn't like an innocent query, either, it was more of a heartfelt lament because it feels like a decade, or more, since I watched the two-hour premier last week.  Have I mentioned that I love this show?
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Mannn, we haven't been up 2-1 in the Finals since, well, last season, I guess.  That didn't end up so well.  Next game is Tuesday.  Not looking forward to it, because I never look forward to any playoff game.  Too stressful!  If you need me before then, I'll be busy making the wallpaper on every computer I own this kid's Jon Barry Sucks sign!  See you on Tuesday Heat fans (and Jon Barry)!
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Heat 100 Thunder 96 Series tied 1-1

6 Thoughts

1) What a donnybrook!  What a humdinger!  What a hullabaloo!  I mean that really escalated quickly!...Miami totally controlled the run of play from start to finish, and seemingly won the game like three separate times, only to have OKC keep clawing back in it.  The game had a rollercoaster-y rise-fall-and-rise by KJ James, two impossibly huge calls (one went each way), and another lights-out shooting night from Shane Battier.  Okay, we all expect that from Battier, that's no surprise at all...In the end, Miami slipped out of there with a win, and the series is on!  We on fiyah, we up in here!  Let's go!

2) For three quarters, KJ James played about as good a game as he can play.  It was different than the huge scoring games against Indiana and Boston in the playoffs, when everything he threw up went in.  After a Game 1 where Miami lived, and ultimately died, by the jump shot, KJ James did what everybody has been screaming for him to do for, ohhh, about 8 seasons: go down in the post and dominate.  Early on, he took Kevin Durant to the block and abused him.  Jump hook for a score.  Jump stop, pump fake, and finish.  Spin baseline, reverse layup.  Even when OKC stopped him by bringing a second defender, it still worked for Miami: Ibaka blocked a KJ post-up, but his man, Udonis Haslem, grabbed the rebound and finished.  Kevin Durant spent the entire night in foul trouble trying to deal with KJ in the lane.  It also freed up Battier: three quick triples again, and Miami led by double-digits all first half.  What was most impressive was that KJ stayed at it - I know he doesn't like getting his shot blocked, and not only did he have a couple of layups deflected away, but Ibaka even blocked his dunk attempt near the end of the half.  Still, in the third quarter he was back at it, with he and Dwyane both making OKC defend multiple actions each possession, leading to open opportunities in the paint...Buttt, in the fourth quarter, after Durant picked up his fifth foul with over 10 minutes to go, OKC left him in, and switched James Harden onto KJ.  Harden is 6'4", 6'5", KJ probably outweighs him by 40 pounds.  But.  KJ.  Would.  Not.  Go.  To.  The.  Basket.  He stood out on the perimeter, bounced the ball, then threw it to a covered Battier or Almario Vernard Chalmers with the shot clock running out.  He melted away possession after possession with mind-bogglingly passive effort.  He was in his weird, lonely space again, just like against Dallas last year.  I mean, he was great against Boston in big moments, last year and this year, and great against Indiana, and great against Chicago.  Why is it only in the Finals that he retreats to this bizarre little island?  But then, after Miami (read: KJ), had given back almost their entire hard-won lead, KJ made a series of plays in the closing moments.  With 90 seconds to go, after another bad possession was evaporating, he took the ball left to 14 feet, rose up over Thabo Sefalosha, OKC's best defender, and made an incredibly difficult bank shot to restore the lead 5 and momentarily stem OKC's onslaught.  He missed a triple from the top plus 2 with 15 seconds to go - didn't have a problem with the shot, it was a good look and it ends the game if it goes in.  Then on the ensuing defensive possession, got just enough of a contest on Kevin Durant's drive (foul?  more on that in # 3) to force a miss, then (foul?) pulled Russell Westbrook off the ball and collected the rebound.  Look, call a foul if you want, ref - I'm erring on the side of getting the ball in the rebounding scrum somehow, and see what the ref wants to do with it.  Then, walked to the other end and dropped two free throws dead-bottom to seal the game.  I don't know what to tell you: 32 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, put KD in foul trouble, got the biggest stop and rebound of the night; and, almost lost the game with a bizarre 8 minute stretch.  Was it good?  I don't know, dude - you call it.

3) Huge, huge calls.  HUGE calls!  ENORMOUS CONSEQUENCES!!  Kevin Durant's second, third, fourth, and fifth fouls all came "ahead of clock" - they put him in foul trouble, he got those fouls earlier than you would want if you're OKC.  He "only" played 39 minutes - that's probably 5 or 6 less than he goes without the fouls.  To his huge credit, after each call, he didn't protest - none of them were questionable, and he didn't complain.  A lot of guys will waive their arms, protest - they aren't even disputing the calls, really, they're just showing out for the fans, like, "hey, don't blame me, it's on the ref."  Durant doesn't do that - such a nice kid.  OKC left him in after he got his fifth with over 10 minutes to go - they were still down double-digits, so it seemed the correct play.  With 3:20 to go, and Miami leading by 6, Durant drove and elevated to shoot a floater.  Shane Battier slid over in place, maybe a little late, maybe leaning in a little bit, and Durant missed the floater and hammered Battier to the floor.  No call, Miami secured the rebound.  Except, here came a ref running in late, after the shot missed, to call a foul.  If you think that was a block on Battier, okay, I can live with that.  Why wait until the ball didn't go in to call it?  It wasn't a block before it missed?  Durant made one free throw to cut the lead to 5.  It easily - easily - could have been called a charge on Durant, and he would have been out of the game.  This seemed especially relevant a few moments later when, after Miami had seemingly sewn up the game, Dwyane Wade committed a horrifyingly-dreadful turnover, and Durant banged a transition triple to cut the lead to 2 with under a minute to play.  Tough call that went against Miami...On the last play of the game, with about 12 seconds to go and Miami leading by 2, OKC direct-lined the inbound pass to Durant at the short, left wing.  KJ was guarding him, and kind of got taken by surprise - think he was probably expecting a screen, not the ball to be directly inbounded to Durant.  Durant quickly went baseline, and KJ responded by getting his arm up in him to try to slow him down - it worked, and KJ leveraged himself back in front a little bit, and as Durant tried to elevate for a short 6 foot floater, KJ resisted with a forearm to the hip area.  KD: meet KJ!.  Durant got a clean look up top and missed.  Foul?  I think if you show that play to both teams before the game, tell them that on the last possession of the game, down two, one of you is going to get that look, with that contact, and have to try to play through it - but you don't know which team is going to be offense and which is going to be defense: decide now, you want that called a foul?  I think both teams say no, let that play out (by the way, also think the same is true on the Battier- KD play: think both teams would say "call that a block")...As for the ensuing rebound, in which KJ appeared to dislodge the ball from Westbrook by smacking his arm, then grabbing the ball himself, I say: nobody likes Westbrook, who cares?  I'm sure even his own teammates hate him...   

4) Dwyane Wade: rim attacks, multiple pick-and-rolls on the same possession, hustled back on defense, worked hard to keep guys in front of him.  It didn't always work: had a brutal stretch early in the fourth where he took an early pullup, missed, and then suffered a Russell Westbrook blow-by layup without ever even budging from his defensive stance.  He also had the horrific turnover with a minute to go that kept OKC in the game: I mean, you're a professional basketball player, with under a minute to go, up five dribbling down the court, you think you might anticipate a guy coming up from behind you to try to steal the ball.  But he also made two of the biggest plays of the game: an off-balance fallaway in the lane late in the shot clock after KJ had dribbled away another possession, and a vintage weave down the lane to draw defenders and find Bosh (16 and 15, and 2 timely blocks in the 4th quarter) for a dunk to go up 7 with 53 seconds to go (which should have ended it, but for his ensuing turnover).  It wasn't always pretty, but it was 24 points, 6 assists, 5 boards, and an NBA Finals road win.  Someone had to help KJ - tonight Dwyane did...

5) Okay, Playoff James Jones surfaced briefly tonight: played 6 minutes which culminated in him passing up 2 triples on the same possession, only to take three dribbles (a season high) and bang a 15 footer with the shot clock winding down.   That's what PJJ is all about: doing things he never does in the regular season.  We've resisted it, but M.Minutos made the call tonight.  New character: Playoff Shane Battier.  PSB, as we now must call him, made 5 more triples tonight (out of 7), and scored 17 points for the second consecutive game: 34 points is about a month's worth for him, usually.  Made another running hook shot.  Also made 4 triples in each of the previous two games - Holy Moly, PSB!  Annnddd, nowwww, the inevitable ice cold Game 3 in 3,2,1...

6) Well, Miami might have climbed into this series tonight, but even if they hadn't, I would still be okay. You know why? Cuz Mike Mil-lar is in the oil business, boys! Man, I watched the two hour premier of the new Dallas last night – I didn’t really watch it back the first time it was on, although somehow I seemed to know everything about it. I’ve been seeing the ads for the premier during the playoffs, and when I randomly turned on the tv last night, it was on that station, and it was right at the part where Mil-lar hits a gusher and smirks and announces it: "We're in the oil business, boys!"  Yes, we are!!! So great! I got sucked right in and watched the whole two hours – M.Minutos joined me about 20 minutes in. Usually she will roll her eyes if I’m watching a dumb show when she comes in the room - in fairness, most of the time I’m sitting there watching the dumb show on purpose, just waiting for her to come in say, “What are you watching?” so that I can go, “What do you mean? I’ve always loved ‘South Beach Tow!’” But she didn’t say a word last night, just sat down and got right into it. She was a little giddy, frankly; if I didn’t know her so well, I might suspect she has a crush on Mike Mil-lar. Good-looking lad.  See if you can tell which one is a smirky, rich kid prospecting for oil, and which one is an oft-injured sharp-shooter for the Miami Heat:

Anyways, the show is tremendous. Mil-lar plays the old J.R.’s son, who is played by the corpse of Larry Hagman, and throughout the two hours, they pull not a single, not a double, not a triple, not a quadruple, but I think a quintuple-cross-switcheroo on each other. Every time you think Mil-lar is over on Hagman, out of the blue Hagman knows what is happening, and counteracts it, and you’re like, “oh, now he’s over on Mil-lar,” but somehow Mil-lar anticipates that, and gets back over on Hagman! Also, at one point, Mil-lar is like, “when I was a kid, the Ewings were riding high, but we fell off – I’ve spent my whole life trying to restore the Ewing name…” Particularly lean: the late 80s and early 90s, when the family was led by Pat Ewing, of the New York Knicks, always coming up short to Mike Jordan and the Bulls in the playoffs. That was a bad stretch for the Ewing family right there…Finally, it had a classic “I waited for you for 8 hours at the train station and you never showed up, so my heart was broken and I left” – “what? I didn’t show because of your email!” – “what email?” – “the email you sent me breaking up with me” – “I never sent you an email, I didn’t even own a computer” type of scene between Christopher (Bobby Ewing’s son) and Jordana Brewster, Paul Walker’s ex-girlfriend. That kind of scene is in every great movie, right? Like Ryan Gosling and The Notebook, dude – her parents never gave her all the letters he wrote! Mon Dieu!!! Even better, Christopher and Jordana Brewster realize that Mil-lar must have sent the email to make them break up, and she confronts him, and he’s like, “No, I didn’t send the email,” and she’s like, “Yes, you did, look it’s from jrewing@yahoo.com,” and he’s like, “no, that proves it can’t be me, I use earthlink.net!” It’s the best show ever! Win or lose this basketball series, I feel like my summer is going to be a success!
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We're off until Sunday night, when the series returns to Miami.  If you need me before then, like specifically Sunday afternoon, I'll be taking O.Minutos and 4 of his friends to Boomer's (a giant arcade, go-cart, laser-tag place) for his 10th birthday.  F*ck me.  Yeah, I said it - F*ck me!  You think that sounds like fun?  See you Sunday!

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Thunder 105 Heat 94 Thunder lead 1-0

6 Thoughts

1) First of all, I'd like to commend myself.  I sat and watched this game quietly.  I didn't yell at the tv, I didn't complain (much) about the officiating (although how can DWade go to the rim at the end of the 3rd quarter, get bodychecked on the release by Fisher - no call, then Westbrook comes down the other end and gets a brush-by foul to give OKC the lead after 3? okay, done...).  To have a realistic shot in this series, Miami needs to get one out of these first two in Oklahoma City, which, as it turns out, is in the state of Oklahoma.  The Heat jumped out to an early lead, weathered the storm through much of the third quarter, then hung in almost the whole fourth quarter, but couldn't match OKC's energy, or shot-making, down the stretch.  Wasn't a great effort, but it wasn't bad.  Gonna have to come back Thursday and see if they can push just a little bit harder.  Let us go...

2) Playing this OKC team is like night and day from playing Boston.  I'm not even talking about the fact that OKC is actually playing basketball, and not trying to slow the game down (while at the same time, douching it up) like Boston.  It's hard to describe what Boston even does as "basketball" - it's more like waiting in some worn-out buffet line in West Palm Beach with a bunch of senior citizens: annoying and gross...I'm actually just talking about likability.  I mean, yes, Russell Westbrook is an a-hole, we all know that.  But, dude, at least he is clean.  And I like Harden, and I like Ibaka ("you're going to play with some of the best young players in the world: Russell Westbrook; Serge Ibaka..."), and I love Kevin Durant.  One, he's totally awesome, he's a 7 foot freak who is one of the best shooters alive, competitive, and aggressive.  Two, he seems like a totally nice kid.  Three, he doesn't have a huge personality, but just enough of one to be endearing - I've been looking over at The Captain in Dos Minutos Int'l HQs for weeks now, out of the blue, and saying, "Doodle Jump...Man, that's messed up..."  That's Durant's text service ad - when he tells me that he sympathizes with the extreme overage charges on my current plan (even though he clearly doesn't have to worry about an expense like that), I totally believe him.  Only Chris Bosh on the Heat is as sympathetic an advertiser.  In the last series, I hated Kevin Garnett with the fiery rage of a thousand suns.  But I can not hate Kevin Durant.  Annnddd, he was terrific tonight, Miami couldn't stop him in the 4th quarter, when he poured in 17 points.  His counterpart, KJ James, was good, with 30 points, with 9 rebounds, 4 steals, and 4 assists, but he shot only 11-24, and I didn't think he was quite decisive enough with his offense.  He kept Miami alive in the third quarter with three driving layups, but in the fourth OKC walled off the paint, and there wasn't a lot of space for KJ to operate.  He can't do everything himself.  He needs a little help...

3) ...and Dwyane Wade was not good.  It did not look like he could turn the corner and get into the lane.  He settled for a lot of long-range jump shots.  Major problem with this: not a good long-range jump shooter.  He finished 7-19 for 19 points - he did have 8 assists and 4 rebounds.  When the ball stuck in the second half - and it stuck a lot - it was often Dwyane just dribbling the ball out on the perimeter, making half-hearted probes at his defender.  I'd say his knees are bothering him and he's not 100%, but guess what?  He's old for a two guard, he's never going to be 100% again.  He's still really, really, really good.  Is he good enough to help KJ get over the top on OKC?  Don't know...

4) Miami broke out to an early 13 point lead.  Shane Battier: three straight triples in the first quarter, topped it off in the second quarter with a running half-hook shot that he started by fumbling the ball on his waist - 13 points in the first half, and 17 for the game!  Iso-Batt!  At one point when he was really sizzling,  I called him "Batman" (Battman?), and M.Minutos didn't know who I was talking about - who is actually less of a Batman than Battier, unfortunately?

5) Mascots for professional sports teams are kind of dumb anyways.  I mean the dudes are all grown-ass men: "Hey, we're the Jaguars!  Yeah - Jaguars forever!"  So lame.  And amongst the lamest of all is the Heat.  It's arguably the worst sports name there is, besides Celtics and Bulls.  Are the Heat plural?  Or is it singular?  The Thunder is not quite as bad - at least thunder can rumble, all heat can do is give you sun stroke.  ABC play-by-play announcer said of Shane Battier during the game, "He was almost a Thunder!"  Really, is that how we are going to do it?  A Thunder?  But instead he ended up a Heat?  Listen, I'll do it that way, but it sounds pretty dorky...

6) Small is the new huge.  #penis
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Well, it pretty much seems like Miami is going to have to win Thursday to have a real shot at this series.  Too hard to win three straight at home against a really good team.  If you need me before then, I'll be watching Game 7 of the Boston series - so much easier to beat them than OKC!  You don't believe me?  You don't believe I have that game DVR'D and marked "save till I delete?"  I'll do you one better: I still have last season's Game 5 of Chicago-Miami - I'll be watching that, too!  See you Thursday, Thunders!
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Heat 101 Celtics 88 Heat win series 4-3

6 Thoughts

1) What if I said to you that in the biggest game of the season thus far, with Miami struggling on its home floor and facing elimination to the hated Celtics, that Chris Bosh - yes, that Chris Bosh - was going to step up and save the season?  You would think I was joking, right?  I mean, Chris Bosh, he's playing with a pulled abdominal muscle, and he's not exactly noted for being a stone-cold killer, or particularly engaged, or even, really, that conscious.  Well guess what: CONSCIOUS!  LETTTT'SSSSS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

2) I mean, yeah, Bosh made three triples - don't believe he's ever made two in a game since he's been on the Heat, and certainly not three, and he scored 19 points on 8-10 in 31 minutes off the bench, and two of the triples were fourth quarter monsters.  All that was huge.  But it was four other plays he made down the stretch that helped seal the game - and they were particularly un-Bosh-like.  With Miami up 5 after a 30 foot KJ James bomb and under 5 minutes to go, Rajon Rondo - who couldn't have been douchier in defeat, more on that in #5 - missed a little runner in the lane.  Bosh came flying through the paint, beat two Celtics and Udonis Haslem to the ball, ripped it out of the air, landed, maybe traveled, maybe stepped out of bounds, stabilized himself, and delivered the ball to a guard.  After KJ missed a jumper, Dwyane Wade grabbed the offensive rebound and called timeout.  Miami was running almost exclusively Wade-KJ pick-and-rolls in the fourth quarter trying to get them runs into the lane, and did it again, but with a twist - this time, after the screen, Bosh flashed from the weakside into the paint on a designed cut, KJ him with a perfect pass, and instead of hesitating, as he sometimes does, Bosh flipped in a little jump hook for a 7 point lead.  Boston came down, and with their season on the line, tried to post Kevin Garnett against KJ James.  KJ tried to front Garnett, and knew Garnett was going to try to shove him up the lane when the ball was floated over the top, so he leaned back and resisted with everything he had.  Still, as Rondo released the pass, KG got a good lick in on KJ (if there was one play in this series that worked every time, it was this play - refs, for whatever reason, just decided KG was going to be allowed to shove his defender up the lane on every entry pass).  It looked like a sure layup...except, while the ball was in the air, Chris Bosh alertly darted across from the weakside and picked the pass off!  Down the other end, Wade got middle and made a floater over Paul Pierce, Heat by 9 with 3:30 to play.  Celtics called timeout, ran their best set, Rondo drove, tried to shoot a floater - and Chris Bosh blocked it!  Miami pushed down to the other end, Wade drove, took a bump from Bass, and made the floater and the free throw to end the game.  Chris Bosh!  Rebounding!  Moving off the ball and finishing with, well, panache!  Stealing the ball and blocking shots!  What has this imposter done with the real Chris Bosh?  Where was the statue defense?  We knew he could shoot - but this is what we have wanted from him all along!  This is the most incredible player transformation since last year's Boston series saw the emergence of Playoff James Jones!...I think if we learned something tonight - besides that Chris Bosh may, indeed, have a pulse - it's that if Bosh had been healthy, in all likelihood, Miami would have killed Boston in this series, like they did in the second round last year. Bosh outplayed Garnett tonight, as he did last season.  People made a big deal of the Celtics heart and experience in this series - and I agree, they battle - but the dropoff for Miami was so severe without Bosh.  It changes everything they do on the offensive end, and they simply don't have another tall guy who can play - makes a huge difference...

3) KJ James was the best player on the court again by a mile.  He didn't have a great shooting night with the jumper - only 9-21 from the floor - but he worked his way to the line for 17 free throws (but missed 5 - ugggh).  In fourth quarter, when it mattered most, he attacked the rim, flushed a couple of dunks, grabbed some key defensive rebounds, and had his only two assists of the game: sweet drive-and-kick to Bosh for one of his triples, and the laser to the cutting Bosh for the jump hook.  Overall, 31 points and 12 boards for KJ.  He scored 25 or more in every game of the series - again, don't get all excited, this isn't that unusual, it has been done before: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in 1974, and Elgin Baylor in 1962.  KJ just played one of the best regular seasons of all-time, and has followed it with one of the best post-seasons of all-time.  Still, his greatest challenge still looms: Kevin Durant and OKC, who have been individually and collectively frightening during this post-season.  Don't know how Miami is going to deal with them.  Happy to have a shot, though.

4) Dwyane Wade couldn't have been worse in the first half - he was atrocious.  He kept kind of "posting up" 23 feet from the basket, with a defender in between him and the ball, screaming for a pass, then Almario Vernard "Emcee" Chalmers or KJ would throw the pass, it would get intercepted since a basketball can't, like, magically float through a defender's arm, and the Celtics would go down and lay it in.  When he saw that wasn't working, he started going out to the top of the key to get the ball, then he would throw a lazy floater somewhere, which would get picked off and, again, the Celtics would go down and lay it in.  The Heat trailed by 7 at the half - it was so painful to think Miami was going to lose because the team's all-time hero was throwing up all over himself.  But in the second half, he righted himself - made two mid-range jumpers, and along with Almario Vernard "Emcee" Chalmers, who started the third quarter by making three driving layups over, around, and past a veryyy creaky-looking Kevin Garnett, and some timely shooting by Shane Battier (4-9 on triples on the night), Miami hauled itself back into the game.  Wade started the fourth quarter by splitting a double team and dunking, and the aforementioned two driving floaters put the game away.  9 in the fourth for Dwyane to finish with 23, 6 and 6.  Dwyane's getting old enough that you can start to reflect on his career a little bit.  It's his third trip to the Finals - a lot of guys, even stars, don't make it that many times.  He won the title and the Finals MVP in 2006 with probably the greatest individual Finals performance in the history of the league.  He's - easily - the most beloved guy in the history of his franchise.  Again, not a lot of players can say that - at most, there's only one per team.  It's been an amazing career so far - would love to see him add one more title.  But even if he doesn't, it's been so much fun having him on the team - and tonight, the way he battled back from such a terrible start, just gave us all one more reason to appreciate him.

5) Well, here in #5, I come not to bury Doucheball, but to praise it.  Okay, actually, that's a total lie, I would love to bury it, if at all possible.  But one of the things about Doucheball is that it keeps coming back!  Last year was supposed to be their swan song!  What happened to that?  There were a few douchey moments during the game tonight: Paul Pierce held Dwyane Wade down on the floor for an entire offensive possession after Wade dove on the floor for a loose ball; Rondo tried to get into it with Wade, then KJ, then intentionally walked through KJ's legs while KJ was hanging on the rim looking for space to land after a dunk; Doc Rivers, as per usual, whined his way through the entire game, arguing every call, even ones his players didn't contest - he is embarrassing to watch - Jesus, Doc Rivers, you're a grown-ass man; and Pierce took a completely pointless hard foul on Dwyane Wade with only 30 seconds to go.  But the douchiest of moves came by Rondo and Garnett as the final seconds wound off the clock - they left the bench and walked up the tunnel with the game still going on, eschewing the customary post-series handshakes.  They aren't considered social deviants for nothing.  By leaving the court early, they aren't just being sore losers, but bailing on their own teammates, the ones who stayed on the court to congratulate the Heat - even Paul Pierce was a gracious loser, embracing each member of the Heat and wishing them luck (and of course Connecticut's Ray Allen was classy in defeat - that goes without saying - love you, boy, come finish your career down here).  Rondo, as B.Minutos noted, also tried to throw a towel on the camera following him up the tunnel, but missed the shot - for a guy who is supposed to be such an offensive maestro, his team only scored 6 points in the last 9 minutes of an elimination game.  This kid is amongst the least-likable personalities in the entire league - my brother, A.Minutos, dubbed him "the Dick Cheney of the NBA," and speculated that he also probably "accidentally" shot someone in the face at some point.  However, on a scale of 1-10, the Celtics overall level of douchiness in this series was really only about a 2 - for such a close series, it was amazingly free of contentious moments, considering the opposition.  I mean, it's hard to believe, but the Celtics, for all intents and purposes, got out-douched by the Indiana Pacers...Wonder if the C's lack of aggression had anything to do with the fact that Udonis Haslem nearly decapitated Indiana's Tyler Hansbrough in the last round.  Udonis showed he wasn't playing around - think the Celtics might have decided to stand down a little this time?  Studio gangsters!...Anyways, barring some kind of miracle return (again), I think it is safe to say we have seen the last of doucheball from this group of Celtics. Miami smoked them in 5 last year, and probably would have done the same this year had Bosh been available earlier in the series - the two games he actually played significant minutes, the Heat won pretty easily.   They just aren't good enough anymore.  Doucheball is dead; long live Doucheball!

6) How do we know that Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Killer is any good?  Haven't seen Stephen A. Smith say one thing about it...
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Well, the season, and the blog, live on.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret - I wrote the farewell post for the season for #6 before Thursday night's Game 6, just in case we lost.  I did it!  I reversed jinxed us into a series win!  Again!  The Finals, against what is sure to be a pretty heavily-favored OKC squad, starts Tuesday.  They are a totally different team than Boston - an explosive, athletic, youthful ball of fire.  Should be fun.  And by "fun," I mean "totally and completely excruciating."  If you need me before then, I'll be wearing my Ray Allen Milwaukee Bucks jersey and trying to forget the nightmare of the last 5 seasons he had to spend with Garnett and Rondo.  He's a free agent now, and one can only imagine how quickly he wants to get away from those two.  He's spent his entire career trying to conduct himself in a professional manner - having to spend 9 months a year with those two unlikable maniacs must be incredibly challenging.  So good to be free, Ray, so good to be free!  See you down here next year, Ray.  And see all the rest of you jokers on Tuesday in Oklahoma City!  Wherever that is!
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