6 Thoughts
1) The Heat got blown out in San Antonio on the second night of a road back-to-back on New Year's Eve: this is the type of schedule-making that teams without Dwyane Wade don't have to deal with. I watched this game after getting home from a New Year's Eve Party. It's 2 am, the game blew, and I may or may not have low-grade alcohol poisoning: let's do it.
2) Mike Beasley went bananas in the first half. Immediately scored two quick baskets on Spurs rookie forward DeJuan Blair, who is neither quick enough, nor long enough, to guard Supercool. San Antonio then tried Richard Jefferson on him, but had the same problem - not quick enough, not long enough. Finally, had to put Duncan on him to slow him down. Mike scored 20 in the first half on 10-15: inside, outside, off the dribble, off the catch - Mike was doing it all. Probably the best offensive half he has played in the pros.
3) Which leads to a problem. Dwyane Wade was brutal tonight - another vaguely disinterested night in a season with a few too many of those efforts by Dwyane. He's entitled - all players are entitled once in a while - but on this night, with the Heat down 9 at half, the third quarter needed to start with the offense being force fed through Beasley. Instead, Wade dribbled, he dribbled, he shot fade aways, he turned the ball over - all while Mike watched. Mike got only 6 second half shots, most of those in garbage time in the fourth quarter. Wade ended up 6-18 with 7 turnovers, most of his damage done in the third quarter, which the Heat lost 28-13, ending the game. If Wade is going to be only 60% engaged in a game, the ball should probably run through Mike a little. Don't know what's up there.
4) Richard Jefferson needs to lose 15 pounds and start attacking the rim. Right now he looks awful. Spent his first seven season with the New Jersey Nets, during which time Plumber asserted that the Nets would never consider trading him straight up for Dwyane Wade. Whoops. In a related story, the New Jersey Nets are 3-29...
5) San Antonio plays as much music during game action as any team. Not sure why they need it - Tim Duncan isn't that boring. Highlight of the night: when they went Nenah Cherry, "Buffalo Stance," early in the fourth quarter! As far as mid-to-late 80s hip hop, one shot wonders, Young M.C.'s "Bust A Move" is more famous, but "Buffalo Stance" is the better song. Right?
6) Seems like all we have been doing in this spot lately is apologizing. Several readers wrote in to point out that we conflated (that's a word, right?) deposed Texas Tech coach Mike Leach with current Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy. Yes, we erred. For the record, Mike Leach is the super-white, angry former coach of Texas Tech, who locked a kid in a closet because he didn't want to play with a concussion. Allegedly. Mike Gundy is the super-white, angry current coach of Oklahoma State, who screamed at reporters when they criticized one of his players, famously yelling at them, "If you want to go after someone, go after me! I'm a man! I'm forty!" I don't follow college football that closely, so I actually didn't conflate them, as much as I didn't even know that they were two different guys. Also, didn't know that Texas and Oklahoma are different states, but it seems that they are. Okay, great.
Next game: Saturday at home versus Charlotte. Going to the game with O.Minutos and P.Minutos - first live game ever for P. It's unclear he knows what he is getting into - not a big basketball watcher, unlike his brother - but they have pizza and ice cream at the arena, so he should be fine. See you then...Happy New Year!
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Hornets 95 Heat 91
6 Thoughts
1) The Heat came out slow for three quarters, getting down 16 on the road in New Orleans, before mounting a furious comeback to go up 1 inside of 2 minutes before succumbing. Full disclosure: for the first time all year, I lost interest in the third quarter, almost dozing, then texting for about 10 minutes. Not too sure what happened during that stretch, but I didn't think Miami was coming back. I've seen 29 straight games without a miss so far this season - could be time for a night off.
2) Including tonight, 21 of the next 29 games are on the road. That is grueling. If Miami survives that stretch still around the .500 mark, they'll make the playoffs.
3) Odd fourth quarter group finishing the game: Wade, Haslem, Jermaine O'Neal, QRich, and Daequan Cook. Coach Spo sat Arroyo down the stretch because his counterpart, Chris Paul, was leaving him to roam the paint and create havoc with strips - Arroyo doesn't shoot well enough to keep him honest. Emcee Chalmers capped (we hope) a series of subpar performances off the bench with a brutal 1-5 effort in 18 minutes, so he wasn't an option. Enter Daequan, whose inability to make shots this year has found him chained to the bench. He competed hard enough defensively, but had an open pop-out look at a three inside of a minute to go that missed true off the back iron. Now 30% on threes for the year, and a mind boggling 29% overall. Currently playing himself out of a second NBA contract.
4) Chris Paul is a great, great point guard - the league's best point guard. But, clearly, a guy with a temper problem. Infamously punched a guy in the privates during a college game, earning an ejection, a suspension, and a trip to the free clinic. Since arriving in the NBA, he can almost always be counted on for one or two dirty plays a game. Tonight's special: an unconscionable undercutting of Udonis Haslem on a rebound where Paul tried to bottom Udonis off the ball, felt him rise, and intentionally backed up through UD to flip him on to his back. Warranted at least a flagrant one foul, if not an ejection, though only a regular foul was called. In a related story: tonight's referee? Seventy year old Dick Bavetta, doing his first Heat game of the year! There are a lot of referees in this country - I see a bunch reffing O.Minutos' games every Sunday - hard to believe not one of them could beat out seventy year old Dick Bavetta at any point in the past thirty-five seasons. If you are a player, when you get to a certain age, and experience a decline in skills, they waive you. If you are a referee, for some reason we are supposed to think it's, I don't know, cute? It certainly isn't well-reasoned that Bavetta is still working for the league. You know who The Captain would blame: Unions! And, for once, he might be right!
5) A woman friend of mine wrote in to ask me what I will be doing for New Year's Eve. Not sure if she was asking me out, or just wanted to help me with ideas for the blog. Either way, first, I will be taking M.Minutos to see Avatar again. She's seen it twice, true, but she is a James Cameron freak. Second, we'll come home, lock the kids in the closet briefly a la recently deposed Texas Tech coach Mike Leach (that's right, the "I'm a man - I'm forty!" guy), and get our Tiger Woods on. I've purchased a new red Nike golf shirt that she can tear off of me for the occasion. Then, we are going to a party where there should be plenty of drunk rich white guys and gals. I'll be feeling loose since I just, you know, "worked on my golf swing," and when I get drunk enough, I'll find a reasonably attractive, hammered divorcee and try to convince her that I am Woody Harrelson, at which point I will take her out back to the host's boat and make out with her briefly, before throwing up in the cabin, beating a hasty retreat, and pretending to be shocked that someone had the audacity to puke in the boat and not clean it up when it is discovered hours later...Yes, I know it sounds just like my Thanksgiving - I don't like to mess with a winning formula.
6) Okay, this is important. Someone pointed out that a post that we made here about the Dallas game in early December was potentially insulting to Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson. I don't want to say who, exactly, pointed this out, but his initials might have been J.J. In any case, I want to say the following: Jason Jackson is really, really good at his job. He always reaches an acceptable baseline of enthusiasm, which is a main component of his job, every single game. That's more than I can say for myself - did I mention I sent 13 text messages during an eight minute span in the third quarter tonight? Beyond his obvious passion for covering the team, Jax also has really solid basketball knowledge. It especially comes out when he interviews opposing players after losses, during halftime debates with Heat beat writer Ira Winderman, and when he fills in occasionally as a host on a Miami sports talk show. We haven't even discussed his halftime Heat game show "Hot Seconds with Jax" yet. That is upcoming in a future post - suffice it to say, it is outstanding. He also seems like a genuinely nice person. I love Jax. If we made a joke on him - which honestly wasn't funny - it is only because we love him here in the Dos Minutos community. We try to joke about ourselves, too, and we never want to hurt anyone's feelings, except maybe sometimes The Plumber's, but only when he is getting really overwhelming with the Nets talk. So if anyone with the initials J.J. is out there reading this post - and quite honestly, after the email I received, I suspect he won't be making that mistake again - I am sorry; I think you do a great job; Happy New Year; and I know an excellent party that will be taking place on the intercoastal in Boynton Beach tomorrow night, if you would like to join me.
By the way, Heat game tomorrow on New Year's Eve, in San Antonio! - I'll try to slip that in at some point in between my various planned escapades. Be safe, errybody!
--------
1) The Heat came out slow for three quarters, getting down 16 on the road in New Orleans, before mounting a furious comeback to go up 1 inside of 2 minutes before succumbing. Full disclosure: for the first time all year, I lost interest in the third quarter, almost dozing, then texting for about 10 minutes. Not too sure what happened during that stretch, but I didn't think Miami was coming back. I've seen 29 straight games without a miss so far this season - could be time for a night off.
2) Including tonight, 21 of the next 29 games are on the road. That is grueling. If Miami survives that stretch still around the .500 mark, they'll make the playoffs.
3) Odd fourth quarter group finishing the game: Wade, Haslem, Jermaine O'Neal, QRich, and Daequan Cook. Coach Spo sat Arroyo down the stretch because his counterpart, Chris Paul, was leaving him to roam the paint and create havoc with strips - Arroyo doesn't shoot well enough to keep him honest. Emcee Chalmers capped (we hope) a series of subpar performances off the bench with a brutal 1-5 effort in 18 minutes, so he wasn't an option. Enter Daequan, whose inability to make shots this year has found him chained to the bench. He competed hard enough defensively, but had an open pop-out look at a three inside of a minute to go that missed true off the back iron. Now 30% on threes for the year, and a mind boggling 29% overall. Currently playing himself out of a second NBA contract.
4) Chris Paul is a great, great point guard - the league's best point guard. But, clearly, a guy with a temper problem. Infamously punched a guy in the privates during a college game, earning an ejection, a suspension, and a trip to the free clinic. Since arriving in the NBA, he can almost always be counted on for one or two dirty plays a game. Tonight's special: an unconscionable undercutting of Udonis Haslem on a rebound where Paul tried to bottom Udonis off the ball, felt him rise, and intentionally backed up through UD to flip him on to his back. Warranted at least a flagrant one foul, if not an ejection, though only a regular foul was called. In a related story: tonight's referee? Seventy year old Dick Bavetta, doing his first Heat game of the year! There are a lot of referees in this country - I see a bunch reffing O.Minutos' games every Sunday - hard to believe not one of them could beat out seventy year old Dick Bavetta at any point in the past thirty-five seasons. If you are a player, when you get to a certain age, and experience a decline in skills, they waive you. If you are a referee, for some reason we are supposed to think it's, I don't know, cute? It certainly isn't well-reasoned that Bavetta is still working for the league. You know who The Captain would blame: Unions! And, for once, he might be right!
5) A woman friend of mine wrote in to ask me what I will be doing for New Year's Eve. Not sure if she was asking me out, or just wanted to help me with ideas for the blog. Either way, first, I will be taking M.Minutos to see Avatar again. She's seen it twice, true, but she is a James Cameron freak. Second, we'll come home, lock the kids in the closet briefly a la recently deposed Texas Tech coach Mike Leach (that's right, the "I'm a man - I'm forty!" guy), and get our Tiger Woods on. I've purchased a new red Nike golf shirt that she can tear off of me for the occasion. Then, we are going to a party where there should be plenty of drunk rich white guys and gals. I'll be feeling loose since I just, you know, "worked on my golf swing," and when I get drunk enough, I'll find a reasonably attractive, hammered divorcee and try to convince her that I am Woody Harrelson, at which point I will take her out back to the host's boat and make out with her briefly, before throwing up in the cabin, beating a hasty retreat, and pretending to be shocked that someone had the audacity to puke in the boat and not clean it up when it is discovered hours later...Yes, I know it sounds just like my Thanksgiving - I don't like to mess with a winning formula.
6) Okay, this is important. Someone pointed out that a post that we made here about the Dallas game in early December was potentially insulting to Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson. I don't want to say who, exactly, pointed this out, but his initials might have been J.J. In any case, I want to say the following: Jason Jackson is really, really good at his job. He always reaches an acceptable baseline of enthusiasm, which is a main component of his job, every single game. That's more than I can say for myself - did I mention I sent 13 text messages during an eight minute span in the third quarter tonight? Beyond his obvious passion for covering the team, Jax also has really solid basketball knowledge. It especially comes out when he interviews opposing players after losses, during halftime debates with Heat beat writer Ira Winderman, and when he fills in occasionally as a host on a Miami sports talk show. We haven't even discussed his halftime Heat game show "Hot Seconds with Jax" yet. That is upcoming in a future post - suffice it to say, it is outstanding. He also seems like a genuinely nice person. I love Jax. If we made a joke on him - which honestly wasn't funny - it is only because we love him here in the Dos Minutos community. We try to joke about ourselves, too, and we never want to hurt anyone's feelings, except maybe sometimes The Plumber's, but only when he is getting really overwhelming with the Nets talk. So if anyone with the initials J.J. is out there reading this post - and quite honestly, after the email I received, I suspect he won't be making that mistake again - I am sorry; I think you do a great job; Happy New Year; and I know an excellent party that will be taking place on the intercoastal in Boynton Beach tomorrow night, if you would like to join me.
By the way, Heat game tomorrow on New Year's Eve, in San Antonio! - I'll try to slip that in at some point in between my various planned escapades. Be safe, errybody!
--------
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Heat 114 Pacers 80
6 Thoughts
1) Goodness. These Pacers aren't too good. Miami led by 13 after a quarter, by 22 at the half, and by 38 after 3. Holy smokes. Not much to say, and it's late - after the Heat game I just watched the Cowboys - and Wade Phillips! - enter the playoffs. I'm sure that's going to have a happy ending!
2) Pacers rookie forward Tyler Hansbrough with the odd double-double: 10 points on 10-10 from the line, while going 0-5 from the floor, with 10 rebounds. I guess you could him the "bright" spot. I guess. If you had to. He plays hard, but obviously struggles athletically: he is shooting under 38% from the floor on the year, and in the game previous to tonight's, against Atlanta, he had 6 shots blocked. That's tough to do. Also, had the rare distinction of the land-locked Jermaine O'Neal jumping over him for a rebound tonight, and was floored late by a Jamal Magloire elbow in garbage time. Tyler was doing it all tonight!
3) Carlos Arroyo continues to start at the point, and with Miami playing better since he replaced Chalmers, that doesn't look to end any time soon. Chalmers is the peskier defensive player, but Arroyo is better at probing offensively with the dribble, and distorting the defense. Chalmers hasn't particularly distinguished himself with the second unit, but he can get his own shot, so he is potentially an asset with that group. Arroyo has had just one turnover in his last 9 games, finds people in rhythm, and is making the occasional mid-range jumper. Right now he's helping the offense, and the change has been a good one.
4) Dwyane Wade had 25 points in 28 minutes, and Jermaine O'Neal, finally finding some "I-Hate-What-They-Did-To-Me" mojo against his former team, had 19 in 19 minutes. At one point in the second quarter, the Pacers had 32 points, total, and Wade and O'Neal had 32 points themselves. Let's just say the Pacers are not strong.
5) Okay, the game stunk, so let's instead promote the world's greatest musician, Scott Miller, formerly of TMAR ("Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"), and his new project:
Who sang the greatest duet of all time: Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton? Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand? Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra? May we respectfully suggest that it was Big Bill and Scott, who trade off vocals on this raucous real-life account of Nazi trouble next door? We'll let you judge for yourself. Here, at long last, is the follow-up to the hit single "Big Bill":
"My Neighbor is a Nazi"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDJagNaaG84
Enjoy responsibly!
6) Finally, what were the odds that someone was going to email me to complain that every other Clapton era besides Derek and the Dominos did not suck? And what were the odds that "someone's" name was going to be "The Captain?" I think that Vegas took that bet off the board as too one-sided. Here we go. As always, we've cleaned up the grammar, and tried to remove the more offensive slurs:
Dear Sir,
With regard to the Eric Clapton comments: have you ever heard of Cream? Clapton leads one of the greatest acid rock bands of all-time - supported by Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker - possibly the best 3 man band in history, and you believe they completely suck? Oh wait, Cream's hey day was before your storied birth. That explains it. I'm surprised that Jerome [Dos' father in-law] didn't point out to you the greatness of Cream, but maybe you just weren't listening. "Crossroads" and "Whiteroom" and "Sunshine of Your Love" are on everyone's greatest classic rock hits of all time except yours. Sir, it may be time for you to reconsider your taste in music. Billy Corgan couldn't hold Eric Clapton's jockstrap, but you could.
Dos answers: The guitar riff from "Sunshine of Your Love" spawned a thousand - ten thousand - crappy stoner rock trios, and its creators should be held responsible. Further, the music just doesn't hold up. The only possible way to listen to an entire Cream album front-to-back these days - even just one Cream song from beginning to end - is to lock yourself in a room, turn off the lights, and get as high as a kite. Hey, wait a minute...
1) Goodness. These Pacers aren't too good. Miami led by 13 after a quarter, by 22 at the half, and by 38 after 3. Holy smokes. Not much to say, and it's late - after the Heat game I just watched the Cowboys - and Wade Phillips! - enter the playoffs. I'm sure that's going to have a happy ending!
2) Pacers rookie forward Tyler Hansbrough with the odd double-double: 10 points on 10-10 from the line, while going 0-5 from the floor, with 10 rebounds. I guess you could him the "bright" spot. I guess. If you had to. He plays hard, but obviously struggles athletically: he is shooting under 38% from the floor on the year, and in the game previous to tonight's, against Atlanta, he had 6 shots blocked. That's tough to do. Also, had the rare distinction of the land-locked Jermaine O'Neal jumping over him for a rebound tonight, and was floored late by a Jamal Magloire elbow in garbage time. Tyler was doing it all tonight!
3) Carlos Arroyo continues to start at the point, and with Miami playing better since he replaced Chalmers, that doesn't look to end any time soon. Chalmers is the peskier defensive player, but Arroyo is better at probing offensively with the dribble, and distorting the defense. Chalmers hasn't particularly distinguished himself with the second unit, but he can get his own shot, so he is potentially an asset with that group. Arroyo has had just one turnover in his last 9 games, finds people in rhythm, and is making the occasional mid-range jumper. Right now he's helping the offense, and the change has been a good one.
4) Dwyane Wade had 25 points in 28 minutes, and Jermaine O'Neal, finally finding some "I-Hate-What-They-Did-To-Me" mojo against his former team, had 19 in 19 minutes. At one point in the second quarter, the Pacers had 32 points, total, and Wade and O'Neal had 32 points themselves. Let's just say the Pacers are not strong.
5) Okay, the game stunk, so let's instead promote the world's greatest musician, Scott Miller, formerly of TMAR ("Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"), and his new project:
Who sang the greatest duet of all time: Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton? Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand? Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra? May we respectfully suggest that it was Big Bill and Scott, who trade off vocals on this raucous real-life account of Nazi trouble next door? We'll let you judge for yourself. Here, at long last, is the follow-up to the hit single "Big Bill":
"My Neighbor is a Nazi"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDJagNaaG84
Enjoy responsibly!
6) Finally, what were the odds that someone was going to email me to complain that every other Clapton era besides Derek and the Dominos did not suck? And what were the odds that "someone's" name was going to be "The Captain?" I think that Vegas took that bet off the board as too one-sided. Here we go. As always, we've cleaned up the grammar, and tried to remove the more offensive slurs:
Dear Sir,
With regard to the Eric Clapton comments: have you ever heard of Cream? Clapton leads one of the greatest acid rock bands of all-time - supported by Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker - possibly the best 3 man band in history, and you believe they completely suck? Oh wait, Cream's hey day was before your storied birth. That explains it. I'm surprised that Jerome [Dos' father in-law] didn't point out to you the greatness of Cream, but maybe you just weren't listening. "Crossroads" and "Whiteroom" and "Sunshine of Your Love" are on everyone's greatest classic rock hits of all time except yours. Sir, it may be time for you to reconsider your taste in music. Billy Corgan couldn't hold Eric Clapton's jockstrap, but you could.
Dos answers: The guitar riff from "Sunshine of Your Love" spawned a thousand - ten thousand - crappy stoner rock trios, and its creators should be held responsible. Further, the music just doesn't hold up. The only possible way to listen to an entire Cream album front-to-back these days - even just one Cream song from beginning to end - is to lock yourself in a room, turn off the lights, and get as high as a kite. Hey, wait a minute...
Friday, December 25, 2009
Heat 93 Knicks 87
6 Thoughts
1) Solid road win for Miami, got ahead of the Knicks early in New York, rode home for a pretty easy win. Knicks had won 7 of last 9, and 6 in a row at home. Miami now 15-12 overall. Joy to the World!
2) Someone had a little too much eggnog last night on Christmas Eve. Actually, everyone had a little too much eggnog last night. Miami was 2-12 from three point land, the Knicks were 5-28. That's a somewhat-less-than-solid 7-40 on threes for the game. A lot of iron. Knicks forward Al Harrington was 5-20 from the floor. ESPN color commentator, the droning Doris Burke, pointed out that while most teams are focusing on Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh in this summer's free agent bonanza, most teams are overlooking Al Harrington. Actually, I think teams may be intentionally overlooking him! One team not overlooking him, especially after the brutal 5-20? The 2-27 New Jersey Nets - he fits right in with how they do.
3) Doris Burke also pointed that one of the lures of New York as a free agent destination is Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. "Players love to play with him," cooed Doris - that's what she said!
4) New York is often mentioned as a potential destination for Wade this summer, if he does not re-sign in Miami. Right now I'd place the odds at 80% Miami, 15% Chicago, 5% New York. The Knicks don't have any supporting piece as good as Beasley, who had 19 points today, including a big fourth quarter run that put Miami ahead for good. But Wade is tight with D'Antoni, loves a big stage, and NY can't be dismissed. Wade had 30 points, 9 boards, 5 assists, and 4 steals today in his "audition." Didn't look particularly explosive - but then he didn't need to be: they're the Knicks!
5) Midway through the third quarter, with the Knicks struggling to score, ESPN play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman pointed out that a brief and somewhat-less-than-hearty "We Want Nate" chant had broken out in Madison Square Garden, a call for benched Knick guard Nate Robinson. Robinson, a talented scorer, willful overdribbler, and a chronic sufferer from "Little Man's Syndrome," was chained to the pine a little over three weeks ago by Coach D'Antoni, and hasn't made an appearance in a game since. In a related story, the Knicks are 7-3 in that stretch. "It isn't everybody chanting," pointed out Shulman. No, it wasn't - man, that Spike Lee sure can make a lot of noise, though...
6) O. and P.Minutos tore through Christmas gifts this morning at a ferocious pace matched only by that of the Bo Kimble and Hank Gathers-led Loyola Marymount teams of the mid-1980s that regularly scored, and allowed, point totals in the high 150 range. In college - that's a lot of points. One team keeping an eye on O. and P.: the 2-27 New Jersey Nets, last in the league in offense. They could use the firepower.
Merry Christmas everybody - by the way, note for you for next year: both The Cottage and the bar at the Hotel Biba in West Palm Beach are closed on Christmas Eve. Trust me...
-----
1) Solid road win for Miami, got ahead of the Knicks early in New York, rode home for a pretty easy win. Knicks had won 7 of last 9, and 6 in a row at home. Miami now 15-12 overall. Joy to the World!
2) Someone had a little too much eggnog last night on Christmas Eve. Actually, everyone had a little too much eggnog last night. Miami was 2-12 from three point land, the Knicks were 5-28. That's a somewhat-less-than-solid 7-40 on threes for the game. A lot of iron. Knicks forward Al Harrington was 5-20 from the floor. ESPN color commentator, the droning Doris Burke, pointed out that while most teams are focusing on Dwyane Wade, LeBron James, and Chris Bosh in this summer's free agent bonanza, most teams are overlooking Al Harrington. Actually, I think teams may be intentionally overlooking him! One team not overlooking him, especially after the brutal 5-20? The 2-27 New Jersey Nets - he fits right in with how they do.
3) Doris Burke also pointed that one of the lures of New York as a free agent destination is Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. "Players love to play with him," cooed Doris - that's what she said!
4) New York is often mentioned as a potential destination for Wade this summer, if he does not re-sign in Miami. Right now I'd place the odds at 80% Miami, 15% Chicago, 5% New York. The Knicks don't have any supporting piece as good as Beasley, who had 19 points today, including a big fourth quarter run that put Miami ahead for good. But Wade is tight with D'Antoni, loves a big stage, and NY can't be dismissed. Wade had 30 points, 9 boards, 5 assists, and 4 steals today in his "audition." Didn't look particularly explosive - but then he didn't need to be: they're the Knicks!
5) Midway through the third quarter, with the Knicks struggling to score, ESPN play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman pointed out that a brief and somewhat-less-than-hearty "We Want Nate" chant had broken out in Madison Square Garden, a call for benched Knick guard Nate Robinson. Robinson, a talented scorer, willful overdribbler, and a chronic sufferer from "Little Man's Syndrome," was chained to the pine a little over three weeks ago by Coach D'Antoni, and hasn't made an appearance in a game since. In a related story, the Knicks are 7-3 in that stretch. "It isn't everybody chanting," pointed out Shulman. No, it wasn't - man, that Spike Lee sure can make a lot of noise, though...
6) O. and P.Minutos tore through Christmas gifts this morning at a ferocious pace matched only by that of the Bo Kimble and Hank Gathers-led Loyola Marymount teams of the mid-1980s that regularly scored, and allowed, point totals in the high 150 range. In college - that's a lot of points. One team keeping an eye on O. and P.: the 2-27 New Jersey Nets, last in the league in offense. They could use the firepower.
Merry Christmas everybody - by the way, note for you for next year: both The Cottage and the bar at the Hotel Biba in West Palm Beach are closed on Christmas Eve. Trust me...
-----
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Heat 80 Jazz 70
6 Thoughts
1) Wow. I am underwhelmed. Miami scored their fewest points in a game this season -and won easily...Schedule makers helped again, as Utah was on the last game of a 5 game road trip; but, honestly, they just played bad. Miami wasn't good, but Utah was really, really bad.
2) Heat head into Christmas 14-12, okay, that's okay, but they have played 17 games at home, and only 9 on the road - that's troubling. On the other hand, 9-8 at home stinks, but 5-4 on the road is good. On the one hand, Dwyane Wade has been subpar - for Dwyane Wade - but the supporting cast has been pretty good. I think you know what we are saying. Tough to know where this season is going. If DWade plays himself into better physical shape, we'll see. For now, we're going to New York for a noon Christmas game against the Knicks. Five NBA games on Christmas this year - that's my present right there. That, and DJ Hero - Renegade Edition, featuring Eminem and Jay-Z, of course.
3) I say this every time we play Utah, but I love Utah point guard Deron Williams. Big, physical, good shooter, unselfish with the ball, weird beard, patchy combination hair, plays hard - he's everything you want in a ball player. He's one of "my guys" - Captain, put him on the list of "my guys" (which also includes Rasheed Wallace, Quentin Richardson, and Brooks Lopez - a controversial add last week, although he's now teetering at being kicked out because when you are the best player on a 2-27 team, we might have to question how good you really are).
4) The President, Quentin Richardson, just keeps setting records. Leads the league in shots taken without having one blocked. Eight more tonight makes 140 on the season. Not sure if that is good or bad - of the 140 shots, 91 have been threes, so I guess it would be bad if he was getting those blocked. Next on the list, oddly: teammate Dorell Wright, with only 77. For DWright, it is definitely bad - he should be going to the rim stronger. QRich was good tonight with 11 and 7, and a huge dagger three down the stretch (45% on triples for the season, by the way). DWright quiet, scoreless, with only 2 boards in 17 minutes - force it to the rim, DWright, make somebody stop you...
5) I think we have yet to discuss this, but the new replay rules in the NBA are ridiculously bad. Now, three pointers can be reviewed at the end of quarters, or during the next timeout to determine whether they were twos or threes. In the fourth quarter, late, the game is stopped immediately to look at the film, under the premise that the point right then would affect strategy. Also, out of bounds calls can be reviewed under two minutes to go in the game. How is an out of bounds call late in the game, which swings a possession one way or the other, different than an out of bounds call on the first play of the game which results in an extra possession, which isn't reviewable? It's the same two points - you lose by a bucket, it stinks either way. Also, why can't we review bad foul calls? I guarantee you referees miss foul calls a lot more often than they miss out of bounds calls - why can't those be reviewable? You know why? Because we'd all learn how inaccurate those calls really are. Finally, why have the same referees who can't make the call that needs reviewing correctly be the ones who judge the replay? Why are they competent to change their bad call? We wouldn't be reviewing the call if they were competent in the first place. It's just stupid, and a pointless waste of time because over 82 games it evens out anyways. It's the dumbest thing in the NFL, and now it's in the NBA, too. Even worse - tonight's referee Bob Delaney spent four minutes reviewing an out of bounds call with 1:45 to go in a double digit game, in which Utah had already pulled their starters. The game was over. I don't know if he was practicing, or what, but it makes me question his competence to be reviewing calls, certainly, if he thinks that was important to review...
6) Okay, this segment is called: "Reviewing Music With Jerome." Jerome is my father-in-law, a 55 year old-ish, large black man with a heart of gold, who also was a professional musician, and always asks me what I have been listening to. Keep in mind: I'm very, very white. Today, on a drive down to Miami Metro Zoo (highlight: a gorilla peed on his hand and licked it - several times - don't think I, O.Minutos, and P.Minutos won't be talking about that for, like, umm, forever) I grabbed an old cd case, let Jerome pick things out, pop them in the cd player (wasn't sure he knew how to operate an ipod), and review the music.
Radiohead, In Rainbows - Jerome has heard some Radiohead before, and he always likes it. He especially liked "All I Need," particularly the lyrics. Radiohead is so musically gifted, I think any musician would like them.
Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew, The World's Greatest Entertainer - Full disclosure: this is the greatest album of all-time, if you didn't know. Okay, Jerome was very skeptical of this before putting it in, could tell it was rap, which he doesn't love. I explained it is really old school, and he said What do you consider old school, and I said, Well, this album is like early to mid 80s, and he said, Well what about Gil Scott Heron, and I said, You mean the old jazz guy, and he said, Yeah, and I said, No, I mean old school that isn't totally boring. I thought that Doug E.'s easy charm and beat box skills would win Jerome over, but he wasn't too impressed. Doug E. doesn't have the fastest flow ever, but he isn't the slowest, either, and Jerome did complain that he had difficulty understanding him. I explained that pretty much all Doug ever rhymes about is that: 1) his name is Doug E. Fresh, 2) his initials are DEF, and 3) he is part of the Get Fresh Crew. Jerome pointed out, perhaps correctly, that seemed a little slight for an entire album, and I corrected him that, Oh, no, that's all his albums! We both did agree that at least he wasn't rhyming about killing anyone, or smacking his bitch up, so those were positives to build on. Overall, he wasn't feeling this album, though.
Arctic Monkeys, Favourite Worst Nightmare - I didn't think he would like this because it is snotty white boy pop-punk, but then again, he seems to like me okay. Monkeys are pretty musical, and Jerome liked it. He likes a lot of their breaks, where they suddenly shift to another rhythm, sounds like that might be something that happens in jazz a lot (which Jerome loves), not too sure, since I've never heard jazz. In any case, he did really like one of the ballads ("Only Ones Who Know") a lot - made me play it twice. Likes the Arctic Monkeys, in a mild upset.
Derek and the Dominoes, Live at the Fillmore, disc 1 - First of all, clearly, the Derek and the Dominos era is the only Clapton era which doesn't completely suck. And, in fact, it's quite great. During this time, Clapton was long-haired, fully-bearded, whacked out of his mind yo-yoing from heroin to amphetamines, and tortured by a burning love for his best friend's wife (and, of course, he was also a dear, dear friend). The Derek and the Dominos studio album is the only Clapton studio album which doesn't blow, thanks to the passion fueled by the drugs and his less-than-appropriate love, and by Duane Allman's incendiary slide-guitar playing. In this context, even the completely played-out, old warhorse "Layla" comes to life and makes emotional sense, allowing you to hear that, yes, it actually is "the" great tortured love song. On this live album, even without Duane Allman, Clapton brings the fire so hot that your face actually starts to melt during the twenty or so minutes that the two opening songs ("Got to Get Better in a Little While" and "Why Does Love Got to be So Bad") rage at you. He fuckin' rips it, and makes you forget his considerable body of lameness. Never remotely approached this overall level, before or since. Jerome just put back his head and smiled. "Vintage Eric," he said. I think that's a thumbs up.
Merry Christmas to all our readers, see you on Christmas for Heat and Knicks.
-----
1) Wow. I am underwhelmed. Miami scored their fewest points in a game this season -and won easily...Schedule makers helped again, as Utah was on the last game of a 5 game road trip; but, honestly, they just played bad. Miami wasn't good, but Utah was really, really bad.
2) Heat head into Christmas 14-12, okay, that's okay, but they have played 17 games at home, and only 9 on the road - that's troubling. On the other hand, 9-8 at home stinks, but 5-4 on the road is good. On the one hand, Dwyane Wade has been subpar - for Dwyane Wade - but the supporting cast has been pretty good. I think you know what we are saying. Tough to know where this season is going. If DWade plays himself into better physical shape, we'll see. For now, we're going to New York for a noon Christmas game against the Knicks. Five NBA games on Christmas this year - that's my present right there. That, and DJ Hero - Renegade Edition, featuring Eminem and Jay-Z, of course.
3) I say this every time we play Utah, but I love Utah point guard Deron Williams. Big, physical, good shooter, unselfish with the ball, weird beard, patchy combination hair, plays hard - he's everything you want in a ball player. He's one of "my guys" - Captain, put him on the list of "my guys" (which also includes Rasheed Wallace, Quentin Richardson, and Brooks Lopez - a controversial add last week, although he's now teetering at being kicked out because when you are the best player on a 2-27 team, we might have to question how good you really are).
4) The President, Quentin Richardson, just keeps setting records. Leads the league in shots taken without having one blocked. Eight more tonight makes 140 on the season. Not sure if that is good or bad - of the 140 shots, 91 have been threes, so I guess it would be bad if he was getting those blocked. Next on the list, oddly: teammate Dorell Wright, with only 77. For DWright, it is definitely bad - he should be going to the rim stronger. QRich was good tonight with 11 and 7, and a huge dagger three down the stretch (45% on triples for the season, by the way). DWright quiet, scoreless, with only 2 boards in 17 minutes - force it to the rim, DWright, make somebody stop you...
5) I think we have yet to discuss this, but the new replay rules in the NBA are ridiculously bad. Now, three pointers can be reviewed at the end of quarters, or during the next timeout to determine whether they were twos or threes. In the fourth quarter, late, the game is stopped immediately to look at the film, under the premise that the point right then would affect strategy. Also, out of bounds calls can be reviewed under two minutes to go in the game. How is an out of bounds call late in the game, which swings a possession one way or the other, different than an out of bounds call on the first play of the game which results in an extra possession, which isn't reviewable? It's the same two points - you lose by a bucket, it stinks either way. Also, why can't we review bad foul calls? I guarantee you referees miss foul calls a lot more often than they miss out of bounds calls - why can't those be reviewable? You know why? Because we'd all learn how inaccurate those calls really are. Finally, why have the same referees who can't make the call that needs reviewing correctly be the ones who judge the replay? Why are they competent to change their bad call? We wouldn't be reviewing the call if they were competent in the first place. It's just stupid, and a pointless waste of time because over 82 games it evens out anyways. It's the dumbest thing in the NFL, and now it's in the NBA, too. Even worse - tonight's referee Bob Delaney spent four minutes reviewing an out of bounds call with 1:45 to go in a double digit game, in which Utah had already pulled their starters. The game was over. I don't know if he was practicing, or what, but it makes me question his competence to be reviewing calls, certainly, if he thinks that was important to review...
6) Okay, this segment is called: "Reviewing Music With Jerome." Jerome is my father-in-law, a 55 year old-ish, large black man with a heart of gold, who also was a professional musician, and always asks me what I have been listening to. Keep in mind: I'm very, very white. Today, on a drive down to Miami Metro Zoo (highlight: a gorilla peed on his hand and licked it - several times - don't think I, O.Minutos, and P.Minutos won't be talking about that for, like, umm, forever) I grabbed an old cd case, let Jerome pick things out, pop them in the cd player (wasn't sure he knew how to operate an ipod), and review the music.
Radiohead, In Rainbows - Jerome has heard some Radiohead before, and he always likes it. He especially liked "All I Need," particularly the lyrics. Radiohead is so musically gifted, I think any musician would like them.
Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew, The World's Greatest Entertainer - Full disclosure: this is the greatest album of all-time, if you didn't know. Okay, Jerome was very skeptical of this before putting it in, could tell it was rap, which he doesn't love. I explained it is really old school, and he said What do you consider old school, and I said, Well, this album is like early to mid 80s, and he said, Well what about Gil Scott Heron, and I said, You mean the old jazz guy, and he said, Yeah, and I said, No, I mean old school that isn't totally boring. I thought that Doug E.'s easy charm and beat box skills would win Jerome over, but he wasn't too impressed. Doug E. doesn't have the fastest flow ever, but he isn't the slowest, either, and Jerome did complain that he had difficulty understanding him. I explained that pretty much all Doug ever rhymes about is that: 1) his name is Doug E. Fresh, 2) his initials are DEF, and 3) he is part of the Get Fresh Crew. Jerome pointed out, perhaps correctly, that seemed a little slight for an entire album, and I corrected him that, Oh, no, that's all his albums! We both did agree that at least he wasn't rhyming about killing anyone, or smacking his bitch up, so those were positives to build on. Overall, he wasn't feeling this album, though.
Arctic Monkeys, Favourite Worst Nightmare - I didn't think he would like this because it is snotty white boy pop-punk, but then again, he seems to like me okay. Monkeys are pretty musical, and Jerome liked it. He likes a lot of their breaks, where they suddenly shift to another rhythm, sounds like that might be something that happens in jazz a lot (which Jerome loves), not too sure, since I've never heard jazz. In any case, he did really like one of the ballads ("Only Ones Who Know") a lot - made me play it twice. Likes the Arctic Monkeys, in a mild upset.
Derek and the Dominoes, Live at the Fillmore, disc 1 - First of all, clearly, the Derek and the Dominos era is the only Clapton era which doesn't completely suck. And, in fact, it's quite great. During this time, Clapton was long-haired, fully-bearded, whacked out of his mind yo-yoing from heroin to amphetamines, and tortured by a burning love for his best friend's wife (and, of course, he was also a dear, dear friend). The Derek and the Dominos studio album is the only Clapton studio album which doesn't blow, thanks to the passion fueled by the drugs and his less-than-appropriate love, and by Duane Allman's incendiary slide-guitar playing. In this context, even the completely played-out, old warhorse "Layla" comes to life and makes emotional sense, allowing you to hear that, yes, it actually is "the" great tortured love song. On this live album, even without Duane Allman, Clapton brings the fire so hot that your face actually starts to melt during the twenty or so minutes that the two opening songs ("Got to Get Better in a Little While" and "Why Does Love Got to be So Bad") rage at you. He fuckin' rips it, and makes you forget his considerable body of lameness. Never remotely approached this overall level, before or since. Jerome just put back his head and smiled. "Vintage Eric," he said. I think that's a thumbs up.
Merry Christmas to all our readers, see you on Christmas for Heat and Knicks.
-----
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Blazers 102 Heat 95
6 Thoughts
1) I spent the morning in the Everglades, the evening in South Beach, and then came home late to watch the Heat lose a tightly contested, well-played game to The Despicable Brandon Roy and the Trailblazers. I am exhausted, and there is no one else on Earth I hate losing more to than The Despicable Brandon Roy, so let's mostly skip basketball and talk about South Beach. Oh, and the movie She's Just Not that Into You.
2) Before we get to that stuff, we should mention that The Despicable Brandon Roy and Dwyane Wade each led their team with 28 points. The Despicable Roy, however, was ultra-efficient, scoring his 28 on 11-14 shooting, including 5-5 threes. Wade, on the other hand, was positively Iversonian, with a 13-31 shooting night. Let's give credit where credit is due - The Despicable Roy outplayed Dwyane tonight. And by "giving credit where credit is due," we mean that we hope he breaks his ankle at practice tomorrow...
3) Oh, and one more thing. I just want to say, when no one believed in Quentin Richardson, when everyone laughed at him, thought he had eaten his way out of the league, and mocked him when he was traded four times this offseason, Dos Minutos had his back. I couldn't have been more thrilled when Miami acquired him - he is just funny, and anyone 6'4" (in the booty) with mad post-up skills, and a penchant for high-volume, low-percentage three point shooting, is okay in my book. Tonight, just another night in the QRich Diaries: exceeded The Despicable Roy's 5-5 threes with 7-7 of his own. All you can eat from the three point line for the Pres...
4) Okay, South Beach. Hung with with Dos readers TFY, X, and Thor. Good night, ate a Colombian hot dog (topped with fried onions and 'pink sauce'), and drank Passionfruit mojitos. Spent four minutes explaining to the bartender at the Winter Haven that X is one of the country's foremost transportation experts (cars, planes, mass transit, pod systems - you name it, he knows about it), and then encouraged her to ask him a question, any question, about transportation to verify. Drew only the blankest of stares from her. Either I'm not as charming as I think I am, or she didn't speak English. Or, both!
5) Highlight of the night, clearly, was when Thor noticed that the boutique across from the restaurant, La Ventana, on Washington Ave, was called "Sassy Assy." Unfortunately, closed, although the sign claimed that it should be open on Sunday evenings. It was super chilly in South Florida today - mid 60s at best - so maybe they closed up early, assuming no one needed a Brazilian-cut bikini with a fur ball hanging down over the bottom, roughly approximating, well, you know...Thor took several pictures, so if he emails me one, I'll post it here - seems like relevant information for all Dos readers. Ladies, I don't know where you get your Brazilian-cut bikinis, but you could a lot worse than "Sassy Assy." A lot worse. And, yes, Giselle, this means you...
6) Okay, because The Notebook wasn't on tv last night, had to watch He's Just Not That into You. First of all, full disclosure - I am more familiar with the movie about my own life, She Thinks You Are a Giant Ass. So I was really looking forward to a different perspective. In the film, several stories are intertwined. One, Ben Affleck refuses to marry Jennifer Aniston, on the premise that marriage is a meaningless institution, and leaves her when she pushes him. After she breaks down and takes him back, acknowledging that marriage is a meaningless institution, he offers to marry her, and she quickly accepts. Two, dreamy Bradley Cooper cheats on his wife Jennifer Connolly, significantly upgrading to Scarlett Johansson. In the end, they both dump him, but while they end up alone, he seems perfectly happy moving on to other pursuits and, in fact, hated being married to Jennifer Connolly anyways, who seemed a bit dour (in this movie, as well as in life). Three, the little Mac dude from the commercials where he is constantly torturing the PC guy, is mean throughout the whole movie to some young ingenue whom I've not seen before, and who has a really bad haircut. The Mac dude, who appears to be about 5'4", weaselly, and annoying, eventually ends up with her anyways, even after acting like a dick for two hours. Finally, Eric from Entourage, or as M.Minutos likes to call him, "the most insufferable human being alive," gets shot down - hard - by ScarJo (the movie's emotional highpoint for me). But even he is able to rebound with Drew Barrymore, still a cute woman, though perhaps she has lost a little something off her fastball. Needless to say, I loved this movie! It is the most male-centric chick-flick of all-time. It's like Tiger Woods wrote the script! Not only that, the scene on the sailboat when Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper smile contentedly at each other, basking in their own hotness (-es?), made me feel all warm and glow-y inside. Not sure what that means, other than: I don't think I'll be watching The Notebook anymore!
1) I spent the morning in the Everglades, the evening in South Beach, and then came home late to watch the Heat lose a tightly contested, well-played game to The Despicable Brandon Roy and the Trailblazers. I am exhausted, and there is no one else on Earth I hate losing more to than The Despicable Brandon Roy, so let's mostly skip basketball and talk about South Beach. Oh, and the movie She's Just Not that Into You.
2) Before we get to that stuff, we should mention that The Despicable Brandon Roy and Dwyane Wade each led their team with 28 points. The Despicable Roy, however, was ultra-efficient, scoring his 28 on 11-14 shooting, including 5-5 threes. Wade, on the other hand, was positively Iversonian, with a 13-31 shooting night. Let's give credit where credit is due - The Despicable Roy outplayed Dwyane tonight. And by "giving credit where credit is due," we mean that we hope he breaks his ankle at practice tomorrow...
3) Oh, and one more thing. I just want to say, when no one believed in Quentin Richardson, when everyone laughed at him, thought he had eaten his way out of the league, and mocked him when he was traded four times this offseason, Dos Minutos had his back. I couldn't have been more thrilled when Miami acquired him - he is just funny, and anyone 6'4" (in the booty) with mad post-up skills, and a penchant for high-volume, low-percentage three point shooting, is okay in my book. Tonight, just another night in the QRich Diaries: exceeded The Despicable Roy's 5-5 threes with 7-7 of his own. All you can eat from the three point line for the Pres...
4) Okay, South Beach. Hung with with Dos readers TFY, X, and Thor. Good night, ate a Colombian hot dog (topped with fried onions and 'pink sauce'), and drank Passionfruit mojitos. Spent four minutes explaining to the bartender at the Winter Haven that X is one of the country's foremost transportation experts (cars, planes, mass transit, pod systems - you name it, he knows about it), and then encouraged her to ask him a question, any question, about transportation to verify. Drew only the blankest of stares from her. Either I'm not as charming as I think I am, or she didn't speak English. Or, both!
5) Highlight of the night, clearly, was when Thor noticed that the boutique across from the restaurant, La Ventana, on Washington Ave, was called "Sassy Assy." Unfortunately, closed, although the sign claimed that it should be open on Sunday evenings. It was super chilly in South Florida today - mid 60s at best - so maybe they closed up early, assuming no one needed a Brazilian-cut bikini with a fur ball hanging down over the bottom, roughly approximating, well, you know...Thor took several pictures, so if he emails me one, I'll post it here - seems like relevant information for all Dos readers. Ladies, I don't know where you get your Brazilian-cut bikinis, but you could a lot worse than "Sassy Assy." A lot worse. And, yes, Giselle, this means you...
6) Okay, because The Notebook wasn't on tv last night, had to watch He's Just Not That into You. First of all, full disclosure - I am more familiar with the movie about my own life, She Thinks You Are a Giant Ass. So I was really looking forward to a different perspective. In the film, several stories are intertwined. One, Ben Affleck refuses to marry Jennifer Aniston, on the premise that marriage is a meaningless institution, and leaves her when she pushes him. After she breaks down and takes him back, acknowledging that marriage is a meaningless institution, he offers to marry her, and she quickly accepts. Two, dreamy Bradley Cooper cheats on his wife Jennifer Connolly, significantly upgrading to Scarlett Johansson. In the end, they both dump him, but while they end up alone, he seems perfectly happy moving on to other pursuits and, in fact, hated being married to Jennifer Connolly anyways, who seemed a bit dour (in this movie, as well as in life). Three, the little Mac dude from the commercials where he is constantly torturing the PC guy, is mean throughout the whole movie to some young ingenue whom I've not seen before, and who has a really bad haircut. The Mac dude, who appears to be about 5'4", weaselly, and annoying, eventually ends up with her anyways, even after acting like a dick for two hours. Finally, Eric from Entourage, or as M.Minutos likes to call him, "the most insufferable human being alive," gets shot down - hard - by ScarJo (the movie's emotional highpoint for me). But even he is able to rebound with Drew Barrymore, still a cute woman, though perhaps she has lost a little something off her fastball. Needless to say, I loved this movie! It is the most male-centric chick-flick of all-time. It's like Tiger Woods wrote the script! Not only that, the scene on the sailboat when Ben Affleck and Bradley Cooper smile contentedly at each other, basking in their own hotness (-es?), made me feel all warm and glow-y inside. Not sure what that means, other than: I don't think I'll be watching The Notebook anymore!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Heat 104 Magic 86
6 Thoughts
1) Sometimes it's not who you play in the NBA, it's when you play. Miami caught Orlando, one of the best four teams in the league, on the second night of a road back-to-back, after a blowout win in Toronto, a long early morning flight, and the prospect of a night on South Beach after the game. Never a game: Miami led by 15 after 1, by 15 at halftime, and by 29 after 3. Dwyane Wade didn't even play the fourth quarter: still ended up with 25 and 7 assists. Easy, unexpected win - thank the schedule maker...
2) Lineup and rotation changes galore over the past few games. Carlos Arroyo, decommissioned on the recent West Coast trip, is now the starting point guard, with Mario "Li'l Redz" Chalmers moving to backup after failing to reach a base level of accountability. Quentin Richardson back in the starting lineup after missing two full games, and most of a third, with a strained hamstring - wouldn't even have guessed he had hamstrings, but there you go, it's right in the injury report. Dorell Wright, who played backup point guard out west, is now the backup small forward. All four guys were good tonight in their new roles. QRich dropped two quick threes to get the Heat off to a good start, and Dorell Wright continued his out-of-nowhere strong play with 11 points and 8 boards. Dorell has tantalized over the years with his potential but has never been consistent, nor healthy. He has now strung together three straight weeks of solid play. If this continues, it's like getting a quality free agent mid-season for nothing - that almost never happens in the NBA.
3) Tonight's game was national tv only, on TNT, which means one between quarter interview for each coach. After getting hammered out of the block and trailing by 15 after one quarter, Magic coach, and former Heat coach, Stan Van Gundy was asked what his team had to do to get back in the game: "Well, we gotta try," fumed Van Gundy, "No effort, no focus, we're gonna get our ass kicked playing like this."
4) Mike Beasley - concerted effort to get to the paint, even with Dwight Howard roaming around in there. 22 points and 8 boards for the kid, thought he was nice, and looked smooth. We have said it many times: no power forward can consistently stay in front of him off the dribble, because he can go either way and finish with both hands - that makes him almost unguardable, unless he reads the defense incorrectly. Tonight was a good decision-making night.
5) Okay, game was easy tonight, let's check in with a Dos Minutos favorite, a kind of "Where Are They Now" segment. Let's call it "Donde Are they Now: John McCain." It's kind of hard to remember, but this guy ran for President just over a year ago - remember, he was the old guy with the creepy face, and the odd, tippy-toe 'Heil Hitler' salute he used to do to cheering crowds after he called Obama a terrorist, or something. You know, Sarah Palin's running mate - yeah, that guy! Well, he's back in the Senate, fighting the good fight, serving his home state of Arizona, and the rest of this great nation of ours. Shaping the future of health care in this country? Umm, not exactly:
John McCain Continues Campaign to Pardon Boxing Great Jack Johnson, Despite the Fact That He's Been Dead Since 1946
Senator John McCain received some bad news from the Justice Department last week: Boxing legend Jack Johnson will not receive a pardon from the Obama administration.
Johnson has been dead for more than 60 years -- it's not like he's sitting on death row -- so who cares, right? The "maverick," that's who.
McCain and New York Congressman Peter King have been campaigning to have Johnson pardoned for a 1913 conviction for violating the Mann Act (transporting women across state lines for "immoral purposes").
Oh my heavens! Can you believe that this man was almost elected president? And by "almost," I mean that he only lost by approximately 10 million votes, and got doubled up in the electoral college. If only people had known about this Jack Johnson thing...
6) An update about the smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff" from the co-writer of the song, and a member of TMAR, Scott Miller:
Just posted the song to www.myspace.com/tmarrocks, the band's Web site. I'm also attaching it here in case you want to post it to the blog.
If anyone is wondering who the hell TMAR is (note the "A"!), here's a nutshell description:
"This fiery two-headed rock and roll juggernaut blazed briefly but brilliantly in 2008, spewing out molten nuggets of musical mayhem across zip code 33324 and elsewhere. The mighty duo, comprised of a wizened elder and his demon spawn, was formed in March of that year and went on to sonically demolish all of Broward County, putting in performances so intense that Sting ran home crying to Mommy, Billy Joel squealed and hid in his piano, Elton John turned straight and Kenny G crapped his panties. They are now in hibernation but will emerge upon request to rock all your faces' asses."
I highly recommend you visiting the band's Myspace page, and downloading the song about me. Just feel like it will make the world a better place...
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1) Sometimes it's not who you play in the NBA, it's when you play. Miami caught Orlando, one of the best four teams in the league, on the second night of a road back-to-back, after a blowout win in Toronto, a long early morning flight, and the prospect of a night on South Beach after the game. Never a game: Miami led by 15 after 1, by 15 at halftime, and by 29 after 3. Dwyane Wade didn't even play the fourth quarter: still ended up with 25 and 7 assists. Easy, unexpected win - thank the schedule maker...
2) Lineup and rotation changes galore over the past few games. Carlos Arroyo, decommissioned on the recent West Coast trip, is now the starting point guard, with Mario "Li'l Redz" Chalmers moving to backup after failing to reach a base level of accountability. Quentin Richardson back in the starting lineup after missing two full games, and most of a third, with a strained hamstring - wouldn't even have guessed he had hamstrings, but there you go, it's right in the injury report. Dorell Wright, who played backup point guard out west, is now the backup small forward. All four guys were good tonight in their new roles. QRich dropped two quick threes to get the Heat off to a good start, and Dorell Wright continued his out-of-nowhere strong play with 11 points and 8 boards. Dorell has tantalized over the years with his potential but has never been consistent, nor healthy. He has now strung together three straight weeks of solid play. If this continues, it's like getting a quality free agent mid-season for nothing - that almost never happens in the NBA.
3) Tonight's game was national tv only, on TNT, which means one between quarter interview for each coach. After getting hammered out of the block and trailing by 15 after one quarter, Magic coach, and former Heat coach, Stan Van Gundy was asked what his team had to do to get back in the game: "Well, we gotta try," fumed Van Gundy, "No effort, no focus, we're gonna get our ass kicked playing like this."
4) Mike Beasley - concerted effort to get to the paint, even with Dwight Howard roaming around in there. 22 points and 8 boards for the kid, thought he was nice, and looked smooth. We have said it many times: no power forward can consistently stay in front of him off the dribble, because he can go either way and finish with both hands - that makes him almost unguardable, unless he reads the defense incorrectly. Tonight was a good decision-making night.
5) Okay, game was easy tonight, let's check in with a Dos Minutos favorite, a kind of "Where Are They Now" segment. Let's call it "Donde Are they Now: John McCain." It's kind of hard to remember, but this guy ran for President just over a year ago - remember, he was the old guy with the creepy face, and the odd, tippy-toe 'Heil Hitler' salute he used to do to cheering crowds after he called Obama a terrorist, or something. You know, Sarah Palin's running mate - yeah, that guy! Well, he's back in the Senate, fighting the good fight, serving his home state of Arizona, and the rest of this great nation of ours. Shaping the future of health care in this country? Umm, not exactly:
John McCain Continues Campaign to Pardon Boxing Great Jack Johnson, Despite the Fact That He's Been Dead Since 1946
Senator John McCain received some bad news from the Justice Department last week: Boxing legend Jack Johnson will not receive a pardon from the Obama administration.
Johnson has been dead for more than 60 years -- it's not like he's sitting on death row -- so who cares, right? The "maverick," that's who.
McCain and New York Congressman Peter King have been campaigning to have Johnson pardoned for a 1913 conviction for violating the Mann Act (transporting women across state lines for "immoral purposes").
Oh my heavens! Can you believe that this man was almost elected president? And by "almost," I mean that he only lost by approximately 10 million votes, and got doubled up in the electoral college. If only people had known about this Jack Johnson thing...
6) An update about the smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff" from the co-writer of the song, and a member of TMAR, Scott Miller:
Just posted the song to www.myspace.com/tmarrocks, the band's Web site. I'm also attaching it here in case you want to post it to the blog.
If anyone is wondering who the hell TMAR is (note the "A"!), here's a nutshell description:
"This fiery two-headed rock and roll juggernaut blazed briefly but brilliantly in 2008, spewing out molten nuggets of musical mayhem across zip code 33324 and elsewhere. The mighty duo, comprised of a wizened elder and his demon spawn, was formed in March of that year and went on to sonically demolish all of Broward County, putting in performances so intense that Sting ran home crying to Mommy, Billy Joel squealed and hid in his piano, Elton John turned straight and Kenny G crapped his panties. They are now in hibernation but will emerge upon request to rock all your faces' asses."
I highly recommend you visiting the band's Myspace page, and downloading the song about me. Just feel like it will make the world a better place...
-----
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Heat 115 Raptors 95
6 Thoughts
1) It was inevitable that the Heat were going to win a home game again at some point. Now 7-7 at home, 12-11 on the season. Peer group win: Miami, somehow, still sits in fifth place in the somewhat brutal second tier of the Eastern Conference, while Toronto at 11-16, is still a playoff team at eighth. It is very, very late - went to a Christmas party this evening which ran long, and watched the game on Tivo. Had somewhere between four and eleven rum and cokes at the party, and I'm arguably still drunk. By the way, I drove home - not sure that was a good choice.
2) Okay, Mario Chalmers, we're taking away your nickname "Emcee" and replacing it with "Redz," after Cavaliers guard Delonte West. Earlier this season, the "real" Redz was suspended for what his coach, Mike Brown, termed "a failure to reach a base level of accountability." Also, for filling a guitar case with guns, and engaging in a high speed chase with the po-lice on a three-wheel motorcycle. By comparison, Mario's tardiness to pre-game shootaround seems tame by comparison, but Coach Spo still did not allow him to start, the first time in 105 career games the "new" Redz has come off the bench. Let's hope he drove home slowly, sans any musical instrument cases...
3) Mike Beasley led the way with an easy 28 points and 11 rebounds. Part of this success was due to Mike being focused, and making good decisions, although to be fair, part of it has to be attributed to the Raptors front line of Bosh, Bargnani, and Hedo Turkoglu, who, collectively, displayed the defensive athleticism and physicality of the Jonas Brothers. Man, is that team bad defensively.
4) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino took his mother to the movies, as he often does, to see "The Blindside," starring Sandra Bullock as a petite and cute - though clearly on the far face of Sexy Mountain - white lady who rescues a large black man played by...who even knows, or cares? Let's just focus on how the white people are saving the black people - isn't that nice of them? What a feel-good holiday movie! Before you send me emails saying, "you're white-" I'm not white, I'm half-Jewish, and we aren't really trying to save anyone but ourselves...By the way, Tony and his mom? Two thumbs up. Of course - they're white!
5) Okay, game was kind of boring, so we are somewhat abandoning basketball here in the five hole, although this is still basketball-related. Sunday night, we had some leftover Thai food in the refrigerator. No one was going to eat it - M.Minutos generally treats leftovers like radioactive waste, and I don't really love Asian foodstuffs. So, I took the food and went outside to put it in the garbage can. As I passed under the basketball hoop on Antoine Walker Court in my frontyard, aka "The Pumpkin Patch," aka "The Patch," in a moment of inspiration, I suddenly sprung up in the air - okay, it was a more like a decent jump...okay, it was more like a long reach with a little hop at the end - and dunked the container of Pad Thai right through the 8 1/2 foot basket that O. and P. Minutos play on. Right through that mug! I mean, it may not sound like much, but how many times do you ever think a container of Pad Thai has been dunked through a basketball hoop? A half-dozen? At most? Now take out the times that Shaq has done it - now what's the number, one? Two? Big moment. Big, big moment. Had to scrape some Pad Thai off the driveway with the lid, which went flying, by the way, and, frankly, I'm hoping for some rain soon so that the court doesn't get too sticky. Although, I'm not sure that the man the court is named after, old 'Toine, wouldn't appreciate a little peanut sauce on his balls. So to speak...
6) Finally, little we have ever done on this stupid blog has ever triggered the reaction of the new smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff," by Teenage Middle-Age Rage (TMR). Many, many people wanted to know what the hell it was. Yes, it was about me. Many other people wrote in to say they loved it. One person wrote in to say that he wished it had words - buddy, it did have words, they just didn't start until over a minute in. By the way, I loved the long intro - the way I saw it, the long intro is the part when I am watching the Heat game on tv, then when the guitar riff starts, that's when I start writing the blog and the magic happens. And by "magic," yes, I mean the stupid stuff in here. Another person agreed with me that it was about time someone wrote a song about me - thanks, mom. Also, one person expressed disappointment that TMR hadn't written a song about her - believe me, I feel your consternation, look how many years I have been waiting. There were several requests for copies of the song - I don't know if there is anyway TMR can post that somewhere for people to download, but I think I might have a little special pull with them - I'll send them an email tomorrow, if they aren't reading this right now. Much thanks to them, by the way - you killed it. Finally, The Captain pointed out that it was two dudes singing about another dude - not that there is anything wrong with that, or, "considering it involved you, surprising!" Jeff Jeffrey Jeff!
1) It was inevitable that the Heat were going to win a home game again at some point. Now 7-7 at home, 12-11 on the season. Peer group win: Miami, somehow, still sits in fifth place in the somewhat brutal second tier of the Eastern Conference, while Toronto at 11-16, is still a playoff team at eighth. It is very, very late - went to a Christmas party this evening which ran long, and watched the game on Tivo. Had somewhere between four and eleven rum and cokes at the party, and I'm arguably still drunk. By the way, I drove home - not sure that was a good choice.
2) Okay, Mario Chalmers, we're taking away your nickname "Emcee" and replacing it with "Redz," after Cavaliers guard Delonte West. Earlier this season, the "real" Redz was suspended for what his coach, Mike Brown, termed "a failure to reach a base level of accountability." Also, for filling a guitar case with guns, and engaging in a high speed chase with the po-lice on a three-wheel motorcycle. By comparison, Mario's tardiness to pre-game shootaround seems tame by comparison, but Coach Spo still did not allow him to start, the first time in 105 career games the "new" Redz has come off the bench. Let's hope he drove home slowly, sans any musical instrument cases...
3) Mike Beasley led the way with an easy 28 points and 11 rebounds. Part of this success was due to Mike being focused, and making good decisions, although to be fair, part of it has to be attributed to the Raptors front line of Bosh, Bargnani, and Hedo Turkoglu, who, collectively, displayed the defensive athleticism and physicality of the Jonas Brothers. Man, is that team bad defensively.
4) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino took his mother to the movies, as he often does, to see "The Blindside," starring Sandra Bullock as a petite and cute - though clearly on the far face of Sexy Mountain - white lady who rescues a large black man played by...who even knows, or cares? Let's just focus on how the white people are saving the black people - isn't that nice of them? What a feel-good holiday movie! Before you send me emails saying, "you're white-" I'm not white, I'm half-Jewish, and we aren't really trying to save anyone but ourselves...By the way, Tony and his mom? Two thumbs up. Of course - they're white!
5) Okay, game was kind of boring, so we are somewhat abandoning basketball here in the five hole, although this is still basketball-related. Sunday night, we had some leftover Thai food in the refrigerator. No one was going to eat it - M.Minutos generally treats leftovers like radioactive waste, and I don't really love Asian foodstuffs. So, I took the food and went outside to put it in the garbage can. As I passed under the basketball hoop on Antoine Walker Court in my frontyard, aka "The Pumpkin Patch," aka "The Patch," in a moment of inspiration, I suddenly sprung up in the air - okay, it was a more like a decent jump...okay, it was more like a long reach with a little hop at the end - and dunked the container of Pad Thai right through the 8 1/2 foot basket that O. and P. Minutos play on. Right through that mug! I mean, it may not sound like much, but how many times do you ever think a container of Pad Thai has been dunked through a basketball hoop? A half-dozen? At most? Now take out the times that Shaq has done it - now what's the number, one? Two? Big moment. Big, big moment. Had to scrape some Pad Thai off the driveway with the lid, which went flying, by the way, and, frankly, I'm hoping for some rain soon so that the court doesn't get too sticky. Although, I'm not sure that the man the court is named after, old 'Toine, wouldn't appreciate a little peanut sauce on his balls. So to speak...
6) Finally, little we have ever done on this stupid blog has ever triggered the reaction of the new smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff," by Teenage Middle-Age Rage (TMR). Many, many people wanted to know what the hell it was. Yes, it was about me. Many other people wrote in to say they loved it. One person wrote in to say that he wished it had words - buddy, it did have words, they just didn't start until over a minute in. By the way, I loved the long intro - the way I saw it, the long intro is the part when I am watching the Heat game on tv, then when the guitar riff starts, that's when I start writing the blog and the magic happens. And by "magic," yes, I mean the stupid stuff in here. Another person agreed with me that it was about time someone wrote a song about me - thanks, mom. Also, one person expressed disappointment that TMR hadn't written a song about her - believe me, I feel your consternation, look how many years I have been waiting. There were several requests for copies of the song - I don't know if there is anyway TMR can post that somewhere for people to download, but I think I might have a little special pull with them - I'll send them an email tomorrow, if they aren't reading this right now. Much thanks to them, by the way - you killed it. Finally, The Captain pointed out that it was two dudes singing about another dude - not that there is anything wrong with that, or, "considering it involved you, surprising!" Jeff Jeffrey Jeff!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Grizzlies 118 Heat 90
6 Thoughts
1) Oh my God, for the love of everything holy - what the hell happened? Miami loses its fourth straight at home, in a game that was never close. Memphis is sneaky-mediocre, but come on. After going out West and playing fantastic basketball, Miami has come home and been absolutely brutal. Now 6-7 at home - that's bad, very, very bad. It's inexplicable. But let's try to, umm, explicate it - that's what we do here. And, big treat at # 6.
2) I don't care how much longer - above the waist - the other team is - and Memphis is a lot longer - when you get out rebounded 49-26, your effort level is pathetic. One game after journeyman big man Eric Dampier embarrassed Miami inside, up-and-coming big man Marc Gasol went for 16 and 15 - in three quarters! He had 7 more rebounds than Jermaine O'Neal, Mike Beasley, and Udonis Haslem combined.
3) Looking for a silver lining? If you are going to get pounded by someone, get pounded by someone from Connecticut, so at least I can enjoy the game. Connecticut's Rudy Gay had a career high 41, with several highlight reel caliber dunks. Stayed in about 6 minutes longer than he should have in order to secure his first 40 point game - that's how we do it in the CT.
4) Heat announcer Eric Reid described a conversation he had with young Memphis point guard Mike Conley before the game. He asked Conley if there were any positives from the three games the irrepressibly selfish Allen Iverson spent this year with Memphis before being cut. Iverson missed most of training camp after signing a contract for the veteran minimum with Memphis when nobody else wanted him, then immediately started complaining when he wasn't anointed a starter upon his return, even though it had been made clear to him that he had been signed as a backup, and had missed training camp. Memphis has gone from bad to decent with Iverson's departure, and Iverson landed with an even worse team, Philadelphia, and has "rallied" them to several more losses. Conley cited one positive of the Iverson experience as "seeing how hard Iverson works to stay in shape to be able to compete at a high level for a long time." Also, when he left...
5) With the blowout, Memphis' third string center, Hamed Haddadi, saw 7 minutes of action. Haddadi is a 7 foot Iranian with all the foot speed and agility of the Pentagon. "Being so big," counseled Tony Fiorentino, "his strengths are low post play, shot-blocking, and _______." You make the joke. I mean, I just watched the Heat get blown out at home by a team with an Iranian center - be as mean, and politically incorrect as you want to.
6) Okay, let's let the loss go, it is just a basketball game after all, and there are things far more important in life, like talking to girls, and this next item. So often, in my travels around this great land, people will come up to me and say, "Hey, how come nobody has written a song about you yet?" And I always have the same response: "I don't know." Well, I am glad to report that this isn't going to be a problem any longer. Check this out below...
It's been a spectacularly unproductive year for Teenage Middle-Age Rage, which is not surprising given the fact that the band broke up in 2008. But then the wizened elder of the band ran into a rabid TMAR fan (in Miami, of all places), who demanded that the band reform. Well, they couldn't let down the fan base, so they reformed, recorded this tribute to the man (link below), and quickly broke up again. But it was glorious while it lasted!
TMAR
"Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atm6YHiNNHc
1) Oh my God, for the love of everything holy - what the hell happened? Miami loses its fourth straight at home, in a game that was never close. Memphis is sneaky-mediocre, but come on. After going out West and playing fantastic basketball, Miami has come home and been absolutely brutal. Now 6-7 at home - that's bad, very, very bad. It's inexplicable. But let's try to, umm, explicate it - that's what we do here. And, big treat at # 6.
2) I don't care how much longer - above the waist - the other team is - and Memphis is a lot longer - when you get out rebounded 49-26, your effort level is pathetic. One game after journeyman big man Eric Dampier embarrassed Miami inside, up-and-coming big man Marc Gasol went for 16 and 15 - in three quarters! He had 7 more rebounds than Jermaine O'Neal, Mike Beasley, and Udonis Haslem combined.
3) Looking for a silver lining? If you are going to get pounded by someone, get pounded by someone from Connecticut, so at least I can enjoy the game. Connecticut's Rudy Gay had a career high 41, with several highlight reel caliber dunks. Stayed in about 6 minutes longer than he should have in order to secure his first 40 point game - that's how we do it in the CT.
4) Heat announcer Eric Reid described a conversation he had with young Memphis point guard Mike Conley before the game. He asked Conley if there were any positives from the three games the irrepressibly selfish Allen Iverson spent this year with Memphis before being cut. Iverson missed most of training camp after signing a contract for the veteran minimum with Memphis when nobody else wanted him, then immediately started complaining when he wasn't anointed a starter upon his return, even though it had been made clear to him that he had been signed as a backup, and had missed training camp. Memphis has gone from bad to decent with Iverson's departure, and Iverson landed with an even worse team, Philadelphia, and has "rallied" them to several more losses. Conley cited one positive of the Iverson experience as "seeing how hard Iverson works to stay in shape to be able to compete at a high level for a long time." Also, when he left...
5) With the blowout, Memphis' third string center, Hamed Haddadi, saw 7 minutes of action. Haddadi is a 7 foot Iranian with all the foot speed and agility of the Pentagon. "Being so big," counseled Tony Fiorentino, "his strengths are low post play, shot-blocking, and _______." You make the joke. I mean, I just watched the Heat get blown out at home by a team with an Iranian center - be as mean, and politically incorrect as you want to.
6) Okay, let's let the loss go, it is just a basketball game after all, and there are things far more important in life, like talking to girls, and this next item. So often, in my travels around this great land, people will come up to me and say, "Hey, how come nobody has written a song about you yet?" And I always have the same response: "I don't know." Well, I am glad to report that this isn't going to be a problem any longer. Check this out below...
It's been a spectacularly unproductive year for Teenage Middle-Age Rage, which is not surprising given the fact that the band broke up in 2008. But then the wizened elder of the band ran into a rabid TMAR fan (in Miami, of all places), who demanded that the band reform. Well, they couldn't let down the fan base, so they reformed, recorded this tribute to the man (link below), and quickly broke up again. But it was glorious while it lasted!
TMAR
"Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atm6YHiNNHc
Friday, December 11, 2009
Mavericks 106 Heat 93
6 Thoughts
1) Back at home after West Coast trip, pounded by Dallas. Heat drop to 11-10, and a sickly 6-6 at home. You can't go .500 at home and make the playoffs - you just can't. Out-of-state members of the Minutos family in town this weekend, so I'm exhausted. Let's roll through this quick.
2) Huge factor tonight: two missing starters. Jermaine O'Neal, his second straight missed game to deal with a death in the family (his, not mine), and Quentin Richardson, who gave it a go with a strained hamstring, but hung it up after 7 minutes. The Heat's two best defenders. In a related story, Dallas blistered the Heat with over 50% shooting in the first half, 49% for the game, with 30 assists on 39 baskets, and committed only 9 turnovers. Particularly awful - Jermaino's replacement Joel Anthony. In limited minutes Anthony can be effective as an undersized, high-energy shotblocker: he had 4 rejections tonight in 32 minutes. But this only serves to underscore the relative uselessness of the blocked shot in assessing defensive performance. Anthony tends to chase the ball without discretion: his athleticism allows him to block shots, but he often leaves the rim unattended. His cover, Mavs journeyman Eric Dampier, erupted for 20 points and 17 rebounds in the game, all in a two foot circle around the rim. Biggest factor in the Heat's loss.
3)Mavs' J.J. Barea (12 points, 10 assists) clearly outperformed the Heat's Carlos Arroyo (3 points, 1 assist) in the battle of Puerto Rican backup point guards. La Bamba!
4) Halftime segment showed backup Heat forward and three point specialist James Jones handing out turkeys to the underprivileged in his hometown of Miami. I am almost certain that I saw over-gregarious and over-fed Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson in line to receive one of the free turkeys. As the segment ended, back in the studio Jackson encouraged Heat fans to email in questions to himself, Eric Reid, and Tony Firorentino at asktheheatannouncers.com, so that they can answer them on the air. If I write in, I'm asking why he stole the turkey from the poor people. Or, alternately, how Tony Fiorentino has obtained such a nice moustache. Man, do I wish I could grow a nice moustache...
5) Mavericks forward Shawn Marion spent parts of two awkward seasons with the Heat. And by "awkward" I mean, of course, the ungainly, spastic runners he shoots from absolutely unmakeable positions on the court. Was 4 of 10 tonight, and two were layups at the rim, so by my calculations that's 2-8 on the spastic runners. Marion was quite possibly my second least favorite Heat player ever, surpassed only by Gary Grant, who played 28 bone chilling games for Miami in the 1996-97 season, during which he took 110 shots, making 39 of them (35.5%). Grant's specialty was to dribble 19 seconds off the 24 second shot clock, then make a wild, head-down foray in to the lane, run in to traffic, and then shoot the ball over the backboard. I lost at least 2 months off my life watching those 110 shots. Seemed more like 110 thousand. When, after 28 games, you eventually trade a guy for uber-stiff Duane Causwell - and feel like you cheated the other team - you really know you're not enjoying a guy's "performance"...
6) Great question discussed at Dos Headquarters today. With the number of high profile cheaters lately - Tiger, Dave Letterman, Don Draper, etc. - do we ever reach a point in our society where cheating becomes accepted, and, in a sense, "cool?" As we have noted many times in this very space, here in Amerika, we live in the strictest of right-wing police states, with Christian conservative elements attempting to dictate to us "non-whites" whom we can and can not marry, what we can and can not do to our own bodies, and, most importantly, where we may and may not park. In other, freer parts of the world, people actually can just park where it makes sense, and where you aren't bothering anyone. No, really, it's true! Perhaps this someday becomes the norm with our personal relationships as well, and even celebrities could have the occasional dalliance without the right-wing, conservative media like Fox News, The Enquirer and TMZ jumping all down their throats. As The Captain dreamily enthused today: "Let's hope so..."
1) Back at home after West Coast trip, pounded by Dallas. Heat drop to 11-10, and a sickly 6-6 at home. You can't go .500 at home and make the playoffs - you just can't. Out-of-state members of the Minutos family in town this weekend, so I'm exhausted. Let's roll through this quick.
2) Huge factor tonight: two missing starters. Jermaine O'Neal, his second straight missed game to deal with a death in the family (his, not mine), and Quentin Richardson, who gave it a go with a strained hamstring, but hung it up after 7 minutes. The Heat's two best defenders. In a related story, Dallas blistered the Heat with over 50% shooting in the first half, 49% for the game, with 30 assists on 39 baskets, and committed only 9 turnovers. Particularly awful - Jermaino's replacement Joel Anthony. In limited minutes Anthony can be effective as an undersized, high-energy shotblocker: he had 4 rejections tonight in 32 minutes. But this only serves to underscore the relative uselessness of the blocked shot in assessing defensive performance. Anthony tends to chase the ball without discretion: his athleticism allows him to block shots, but he often leaves the rim unattended. His cover, Mavs journeyman Eric Dampier, erupted for 20 points and 17 rebounds in the game, all in a two foot circle around the rim. Biggest factor in the Heat's loss.
3)Mavs' J.J. Barea (12 points, 10 assists) clearly outperformed the Heat's Carlos Arroyo (3 points, 1 assist) in the battle of Puerto Rican backup point guards. La Bamba!
4) Halftime segment showed backup Heat forward and three point specialist James Jones handing out turkeys to the underprivileged in his hometown of Miami. I am almost certain that I saw over-gregarious and over-fed Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson in line to receive one of the free turkeys. As the segment ended, back in the studio Jackson encouraged Heat fans to email in questions to himself, Eric Reid, and Tony Firorentino at asktheheatannouncers.com, so that they can answer them on the air. If I write in, I'm asking why he stole the turkey from the poor people. Or, alternately, how Tony Fiorentino has obtained such a nice moustache. Man, do I wish I could grow a nice moustache...
5) Mavericks forward Shawn Marion spent parts of two awkward seasons with the Heat. And by "awkward" I mean, of course, the ungainly, spastic runners he shoots from absolutely unmakeable positions on the court. Was 4 of 10 tonight, and two were layups at the rim, so by my calculations that's 2-8 on the spastic runners. Marion was quite possibly my second least favorite Heat player ever, surpassed only by Gary Grant, who played 28 bone chilling games for Miami in the 1996-97 season, during which he took 110 shots, making 39 of them (35.5%). Grant's specialty was to dribble 19 seconds off the 24 second shot clock, then make a wild, head-down foray in to the lane, run in to traffic, and then shoot the ball over the backboard. I lost at least 2 months off my life watching those 110 shots. Seemed more like 110 thousand. When, after 28 games, you eventually trade a guy for uber-stiff Duane Causwell - and feel like you cheated the other team - you really know you're not enjoying a guy's "performance"...
6) Great question discussed at Dos Headquarters today. With the number of high profile cheaters lately - Tiger, Dave Letterman, Don Draper, etc. - do we ever reach a point in our society where cheating becomes accepted, and, in a sense, "cool?" As we have noted many times in this very space, here in Amerika, we live in the strictest of right-wing police states, with Christian conservative elements attempting to dictate to us "non-whites" whom we can and can not marry, what we can and can not do to our own bodies, and, most importantly, where we may and may not park. In other, freer parts of the world, people actually can just park where it makes sense, and where you aren't bothering anyone. No, really, it's true! Perhaps this someday becomes the norm with our personal relationships as well, and even celebrities could have the occasional dalliance without the right-wing, conservative media like Fox News, The Enquirer and TMZ jumping all down their throats. As The Captain dreamily enthused today: "Let's hope so..."
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Heat 115 Kings 102
6 Thoughts
1) Heat finish a 4 game West Coast swing with a 2-2 record after a win against a surprisingly frisky Sacramento team (8-2 at home before tonight). A horrifically blown call and Kobe Bryant 30 foot bank shot away from going 3-1. That hurts. Heat come back home 11-9, solidly in the thick of the playoff race, one quarter of the way through the season.
2) Dorell Wright has been on the Heat for six seasons. In that time, you could count the number of good games he has played in a big spot on - - well, you couldn't count them at all. He had never done it before. However, on this trip, in one of the more bizarre developments of this, or any other, Heat season, Dorell Wright has actually become the backup point guard. At 6'8". And he's playing well. Tonight was his best game in a Heat uniform: 19 points on 9-13 shooting, 5 assists, and no turnovers. Handled the ball with Chalmers out of the game. Got in to the lane, found open people. Ran back cuts to the rim off the ball, received passes from Dwyane Wade, crushed dunks. I couldn't have been more surprised if you told me Eric Reid enjoyed his road trip to Sacramento (he didn't - amongst other problems, his hotel room apparently was right next to the road, and he was awakened by a passing marathon. Not pleased - and he's a runner. He has an absolute passion for hating Sacramento.). Can DWright keep this up? Seems unlikely. He would really struggle against ball pressure. But Carlos Arroyo has been de-rotationed for the moment, and Dorell is going to get his shot...
3) It is a well-known fact on the Heat team that Wright, Wade, and President Quentin Richardson are a team clique that calls themselves the 1-3-5 Crew (their uniform numbers). They work out together in the offseason, and have a level of comfort with each other. Besides Wright's breakout night, QRich also was very good: 20, with 5 triples. Is playing at an extremely efficient level right now.
4) After shooting woes all season, DWade seemed to make a concerted effort to get to the rim tonight, and shot 10 free throws in the first quarter. M.Minutos predicted 20 for the game, but Wade finished at 16. First true "Flash" game in a while. 34 points on only 16 shots (10-16), with 10 assists, 5 rebounds, and 4 (!) blocks.
5) Omri Casspi, the first Israeli player in the NBA, had 14 points and made 4-4 three pointers, including a running 30 footer to end the third quarter. As a fiercely loyal half-Jew, I say that "it's about time," and "Mazel Tov." Biggest development for Jews in basketball since players started using agents...I have always felt that in the late 60's when the former Lew Alcindor went Muslim and became Kareem Abdul-Jabber, that was our shot. If we Jews grab Alcindor there, who knows how the course of basketball history is changed? Instead, we lose out to Elijah Muhammad, and spend the better part of forty years in the basketball wilderness, like in the Bible when we were cast out of, I don't know - Egypt? - and spent a long time in the desert, apparently. Not that strong on my Jewish history. In any case, the point is: Casspi's bringing it back.
6) "Tiger...It's me, Jon. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. Remember I met you at The Viper Room last weekend, when I walked in on you with the girl doing that thing? And then you said to me "get the f--- out, Loser," but then you got drunker, and we ended up hanging out? Well, I think I left one of my Ed Hardy t-shirts in the back of your limo. Do you think you could get that back to me? I don't want Kate to know I was hanging out with you - I'm still trying to negotiate a better residual rate on future episodes of my show. It's huge. Okay, bye."
1) Heat finish a 4 game West Coast swing with a 2-2 record after a win against a surprisingly frisky Sacramento team (8-2 at home before tonight). A horrifically blown call and Kobe Bryant 30 foot bank shot away from going 3-1. That hurts. Heat come back home 11-9, solidly in the thick of the playoff race, one quarter of the way through the season.
2) Dorell Wright has been on the Heat for six seasons. In that time, you could count the number of good games he has played in a big spot on - - well, you couldn't count them at all. He had never done it before. However, on this trip, in one of the more bizarre developments of this, or any other, Heat season, Dorell Wright has actually become the backup point guard. At 6'8". And he's playing well. Tonight was his best game in a Heat uniform: 19 points on 9-13 shooting, 5 assists, and no turnovers. Handled the ball with Chalmers out of the game. Got in to the lane, found open people. Ran back cuts to the rim off the ball, received passes from Dwyane Wade, crushed dunks. I couldn't have been more surprised if you told me Eric Reid enjoyed his road trip to Sacramento (he didn't - amongst other problems, his hotel room apparently was right next to the road, and he was awakened by a passing marathon. Not pleased - and he's a runner. He has an absolute passion for hating Sacramento.). Can DWright keep this up? Seems unlikely. He would really struggle against ball pressure. But Carlos Arroyo has been de-rotationed for the moment, and Dorell is going to get his shot...
3) It is a well-known fact on the Heat team that Wright, Wade, and President Quentin Richardson are a team clique that calls themselves the 1-3-5 Crew (their uniform numbers). They work out together in the offseason, and have a level of comfort with each other. Besides Wright's breakout night, QRich also was very good: 20, with 5 triples. Is playing at an extremely efficient level right now.
4) After shooting woes all season, DWade seemed to make a concerted effort to get to the rim tonight, and shot 10 free throws in the first quarter. M.Minutos predicted 20 for the game, but Wade finished at 16. First true "Flash" game in a while. 34 points on only 16 shots (10-16), with 10 assists, 5 rebounds, and 4 (!) blocks.
5) Omri Casspi, the first Israeli player in the NBA, had 14 points and made 4-4 three pointers, including a running 30 footer to end the third quarter. As a fiercely loyal half-Jew, I say that "it's about time," and "Mazel Tov." Biggest development for Jews in basketball since players started using agents...I have always felt that in the late 60's when the former Lew Alcindor went Muslim and became Kareem Abdul-Jabber, that was our shot. If we Jews grab Alcindor there, who knows how the course of basketball history is changed? Instead, we lose out to Elijah Muhammad, and spend the better part of forty years in the basketball wilderness, like in the Bible when we were cast out of, I don't know - Egypt? - and spent a long time in the desert, apparently. Not that strong on my Jewish history. In any case, the point is: Casspi's bringing it back.
6) "Tiger...It's me, Jon. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. Remember I met you at The Viper Room last weekend, when I walked in on you with the girl doing that thing? And then you said to me "get the f--- out, Loser," but then you got drunker, and we ended up hanging out? Well, I think I left one of my Ed Hardy t-shirts in the back of your limo. Do you think you could get that back to me? I don't want Kate to know I was hanging out with you - I'm still trying to negotiate a better residual rate on future episodes of my show. It's huge. Okay, bye."
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lakers 108 Heat 107
6 Thoughts
1) "Things You Can't Control in an NBA Game:" When a team is down 2 with three seconds to go, inbounds the ball to a guy 25 feet from the basket with two guys draped all over him, so he backs up three quick steps to clear himself for a heave, without dribbling, you should probably call traveling, because if it goes in, you are costing one team the game. Tonight, Kobe Bryant's heave went in in L.A. - with no traveling call - and the Heat lose a brutal one. By the way, the NBA has replay now - they replayed Bryant's shot to make sure he got it off in time - why wouldn't you be able to call traveling from that? I have never understood why, if you are going to use replay in any sport, there are only certain calls it can be used for. Guaranteed the referees watching the replay tonight felt sick knowing they hadn't called the travel - probably just let it go assuming the shot wouldn't go in - not that that does Miami any good.
2) In the category of "Things You Can Control in an NBA Game:" Miami's free throw shooting was pitiful. 27-42. That mess is unseemly. You can't miss 15 free throws on the road against the best team in basketball and expect to win. Dwyane Wade missed one of two just before the Bryant heave. He was particularly brutal at 12-18, and Jermaine O'Neal, who has been consistently bad from the stripe all year, was 4-9 - he's under 65% for the season.
3) That Miami was even in the game was a testimony to their collective grit. Wade played his second straight awful game, shooting 7-21 from the floor, and the aforementioned 12-18 from the line. Picked it up down the stretch and made a couple of hoops, and a couple of clutch passes, but for three and a half quarters he was really bad. Let's be honest - he's not having a good year thus far. Showed up in less-than-great shape, and is at a career low 42% from the floor right now. Not making the jumper with enough regularity, shooting a lot of odd, in-between runners. Not making the electric game changing defensive plays he made last year. Look, he was a man possessed last year, and was the best player in basketball. He can't kill himself like that all game, every season - the human body needs to rest - and he needs help. The frustrating thing tonight was that he got plenty of help, but didn't play well himself. Miami now 10-9, wrap up the road trip Sunday in Sacramento, much to Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino's chagrin.
4) Lamar Odom was ejected midway through the fourth quarter. He had received a technical foul earlier in the game for arguing a call, then intentionally didn't get out of Jermaine O'Neal's way trying to land after a dunk, resulting in a second t, and the automatic ejection. Lamar, who got married to the chunky Kardashian in the offseason - and by the way, I only know that because he plays in the NBA, I don't even know who the Kardashians are - was escorted from the court. Camera panned to the chunky Kardashian in the crowd - by the way, not an attractive girl - who also immediately got up and left. Unclear if she was going to the locker room to see Lamar, or to dinner. "If a player gets ejected, does his wife have to leave too?" crowed Tony Fiorentino, happily.
5) Since getting Pau Gasol in a one-sided trade with Memphis, the Lakers are now 100-22. That's ridiculous. He had 22 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists tonight. He is a top ten player in the league. Also, resembles my friend Eric Webster.
6) "Hey, Kobe. It's Tiger. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. I'm going out to Colorado for a ski trip later this month and I need the number of the girl you sexually assaulted in the unmentionable area, although you later paid her off and the case never went to trial. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Okay, bye."
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1) "Things You Can't Control in an NBA Game:" When a team is down 2 with three seconds to go, inbounds the ball to a guy 25 feet from the basket with two guys draped all over him, so he backs up three quick steps to clear himself for a heave, without dribbling, you should probably call traveling, because if it goes in, you are costing one team the game. Tonight, Kobe Bryant's heave went in in L.A. - with no traveling call - and the Heat lose a brutal one. By the way, the NBA has replay now - they replayed Bryant's shot to make sure he got it off in time - why wouldn't you be able to call traveling from that? I have never understood why, if you are going to use replay in any sport, there are only certain calls it can be used for. Guaranteed the referees watching the replay tonight felt sick knowing they hadn't called the travel - probably just let it go assuming the shot wouldn't go in - not that that does Miami any good.
2) In the category of "Things You Can Control in an NBA Game:" Miami's free throw shooting was pitiful. 27-42. That mess is unseemly. You can't miss 15 free throws on the road against the best team in basketball and expect to win. Dwyane Wade missed one of two just before the Bryant heave. He was particularly brutal at 12-18, and Jermaine O'Neal, who has been consistently bad from the stripe all year, was 4-9 - he's under 65% for the season.
3) That Miami was even in the game was a testimony to their collective grit. Wade played his second straight awful game, shooting 7-21 from the floor, and the aforementioned 12-18 from the line. Picked it up down the stretch and made a couple of hoops, and a couple of clutch passes, but for three and a half quarters he was really bad. Let's be honest - he's not having a good year thus far. Showed up in less-than-great shape, and is at a career low 42% from the floor right now. Not making the jumper with enough regularity, shooting a lot of odd, in-between runners. Not making the electric game changing defensive plays he made last year. Look, he was a man possessed last year, and was the best player in basketball. He can't kill himself like that all game, every season - the human body needs to rest - and he needs help. The frustrating thing tonight was that he got plenty of help, but didn't play well himself. Miami now 10-9, wrap up the road trip Sunday in Sacramento, much to Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino's chagrin.
4) Lamar Odom was ejected midway through the fourth quarter. He had received a technical foul earlier in the game for arguing a call, then intentionally didn't get out of Jermaine O'Neal's way trying to land after a dunk, resulting in a second t, and the automatic ejection. Lamar, who got married to the chunky Kardashian in the offseason - and by the way, I only know that because he plays in the NBA, I don't even know who the Kardashians are - was escorted from the court. Camera panned to the chunky Kardashian in the crowd - by the way, not an attractive girl - who also immediately got up and left. Unclear if she was going to the locker room to see Lamar, or to dinner. "If a player gets ejected, does his wife have to leave too?" crowed Tony Fiorentino, happily.
5) Since getting Pau Gasol in a one-sided trade with Memphis, the Lakers are now 100-22. That's ridiculous. He had 22 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists tonight. He is a top ten player in the league. Also, resembles my friend Eric Webster.
6) "Hey, Kobe. It's Tiger. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. I'm going out to Colorado for a ski trip later this month and I need the number of the girl you sexually assaulted in the unmentionable area, although you later paid her off and the case never went to trial. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Okay, bye."
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Thursday, December 3, 2009
Nuggets 114 Heat 96
6 Thoughts
1) Thrashed in Denver, second game of a four game West Coast swing. Some nights you come out and get smoked. Some nights you come out and let yourself get smoked - this was one of those nights. It's late, let's wrap it up.
2) One thing about Dwyane Wade - when he doesn't feel like playing, he lets everyone know he doesn't feel like playing. He had the intensity level ratcheted up to a 2 at tip off, dialed it down to about a .5 when Mario Chalmers picked up two instant fouls and Spo moved Wade to the point instead of inserting Carlos Arroyo. Playing point makes it tougher for Wade to get to the basket, and requires extra energy. He didn't feel like doing it tonight, that was clear. Walked around on offense, was sloppy with the dribble, played defense with his hands on his knees, and somehow, three or four different times, ended up with his back to his man defensively while he was driving to the basket and laying the ball in. A late, selfish third quarter flurry allowed him to finish with 25 points, but they were already down 25 by that point - he was just padding numbers. Denver is the only NBA city in which Wade has never won - now 0-6.
3) Exactly one guy came to play tonight for Miami: Mike Beasley. Wasn't efficient, didn't shoot particularly well, but still had 17 and 7 in 32 minutes. The offense - what offense there was - revolved around him in the first half. One particularly effective second quarter stretch saw Miami clear out for Beasley 4 straight trips: drive to the basket for a hoop; jab step to fake the same drive, hit the jumper; drive again, drew a foul on the floor; drove again, drew foul at the rim, made two free throws. Again, I hate to say it, but it looks like the game is starting to slow down a little for Mike.
4) Bad NBA refereeing example # 2652: Late in the third quarter, with Miami down 25 and Wade looking to pad his numbers, he rose up for a long three. Denver's J.R. Smith contested the jumper and swiped Wade across the arm, causing the shot to fall approximately 8 feet short. Even if you didn't see the shot - and, really, as a referee what else would you be watching - the result alone definitively indicated a foul. No call. Wade, aggravated to begin with, began to charge at the nearest official, only to be beaten to him by Coach Spo, who lit up referee Monty McCutcheon. Spo was protecting Wade - McCutcheon gave Spo a technical. Fine. During the free throw, Wade continued to glare and mutter at McCutcheon, who by this time, had to have realized that he had missed a call. Embarrassed as much as anything, he then gave Wade a ridiculous technical from 30 feet away. Fine. On the ensuing Denver possession, Kenyon Martin drove to the basket where Wade met him, intending to take Martin's head off to relieve a little of his frustration with a two-armed whack across the shoulder and neck. McCutcheon was standing approximately two feet away - made no call, obviously in deference to missing the call on Wade's jumper. Martin, even though the game had been decided for an hour or more, went ballistic, drawing an immediate technical, and when he continued to beef - and, really, the non-call was so egregious it was ridiculous - McCutcheon ejected him. It just seems to me, when you make a bad call, and then realize it - just apologize to the offended party. Don't give him an equal break the next trip - then you're just ticking someone else off. And don't start throwing people out of games. You're better than that, Monty McCutcheon. And your name is Monty...
5) Who wins a no-holds barred fight between Kenyon Martin and Udonis Haslem?
6) "Hey. It’s Tiger. You have to do me a favor. It’s huge. I’m starving and my wife won’t make me sandwiches anymore. I’m going to come over and I need you to make me a sandwich so I can eat it while I am there. I’ll only have like 15 or 20 minutes to eat it, then I have to get back here before she suspects anything. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Also, I’d like some anal sex. Okay, bye.”
1) Thrashed in Denver, second game of a four game West Coast swing. Some nights you come out and get smoked. Some nights you come out and let yourself get smoked - this was one of those nights. It's late, let's wrap it up.
2) One thing about Dwyane Wade - when he doesn't feel like playing, he lets everyone know he doesn't feel like playing. He had the intensity level ratcheted up to a 2 at tip off, dialed it down to about a .5 when Mario Chalmers picked up two instant fouls and Spo moved Wade to the point instead of inserting Carlos Arroyo. Playing point makes it tougher for Wade to get to the basket, and requires extra energy. He didn't feel like doing it tonight, that was clear. Walked around on offense, was sloppy with the dribble, played defense with his hands on his knees, and somehow, three or four different times, ended up with his back to his man defensively while he was driving to the basket and laying the ball in. A late, selfish third quarter flurry allowed him to finish with 25 points, but they were already down 25 by that point - he was just padding numbers. Denver is the only NBA city in which Wade has never won - now 0-6.
3) Exactly one guy came to play tonight for Miami: Mike Beasley. Wasn't efficient, didn't shoot particularly well, but still had 17 and 7 in 32 minutes. The offense - what offense there was - revolved around him in the first half. One particularly effective second quarter stretch saw Miami clear out for Beasley 4 straight trips: drive to the basket for a hoop; jab step to fake the same drive, hit the jumper; drive again, drew a foul on the floor; drove again, drew foul at the rim, made two free throws. Again, I hate to say it, but it looks like the game is starting to slow down a little for Mike.
4) Bad NBA refereeing example # 2652: Late in the third quarter, with Miami down 25 and Wade looking to pad his numbers, he rose up for a long three. Denver's J.R. Smith contested the jumper and swiped Wade across the arm, causing the shot to fall approximately 8 feet short. Even if you didn't see the shot - and, really, as a referee what else would you be watching - the result alone definitively indicated a foul. No call. Wade, aggravated to begin with, began to charge at the nearest official, only to be beaten to him by Coach Spo, who lit up referee Monty McCutcheon. Spo was protecting Wade - McCutcheon gave Spo a technical. Fine. During the free throw, Wade continued to glare and mutter at McCutcheon, who by this time, had to have realized that he had missed a call. Embarrassed as much as anything, he then gave Wade a ridiculous technical from 30 feet away. Fine. On the ensuing Denver possession, Kenyon Martin drove to the basket where Wade met him, intending to take Martin's head off to relieve a little of his frustration with a two-armed whack across the shoulder and neck. McCutcheon was standing approximately two feet away - made no call, obviously in deference to missing the call on Wade's jumper. Martin, even though the game had been decided for an hour or more, went ballistic, drawing an immediate technical, and when he continued to beef - and, really, the non-call was so egregious it was ridiculous - McCutcheon ejected him. It just seems to me, when you make a bad call, and then realize it - just apologize to the offended party. Don't give him an equal break the next trip - then you're just ticking someone else off. And don't start throwing people out of games. You're better than that, Monty McCutcheon. And your name is Monty...
5) Who wins a no-holds barred fight between Kenyon Martin and Udonis Haslem?
6) "Hey. It’s Tiger. You have to do me a favor. It’s huge. I’m starving and my wife won’t make me sandwiches anymore. I’m going to come over and I need you to make me a sandwich so I can eat it while I am there. I’ll only have like 15 or 20 minutes to eat it, then I have to get back here before she suspects anything. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Also, I’d like some anal sex. Okay, bye.”
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Heat 107 Blazers 100
6 Thoughts
1) Mike Beasley. That's how we do. THAT'S HOW WE DO!!! It wasn't just 27 and 8. It was a scoring clinic. Cutting to open spaces in and around the lane, receiving balls, making short jumpers over the big guy help. Clearing out sides against slower defenders, waiting for room, driving, drawing fouls. Accepting double teams when they couldn't guard him with one guy, throwing ambidextrous passes over the defense to weak side shooters. Driving at Greg Oden, taking the bump, flipping the ball in with his right hand. I'm not saying he has it figured out - but his last five games he's at 18 and 9 in 34 minutes a night. Decision making. The best player on the floor tonight, on the West Coast, against a deep, good team. Decision making.
2) Hey, Portland star Brandon Roy, you sneering, sanctimonious, underathletic, overdribbling, pseudo-superstar? How'd it feel to have your crap handed to you by The President? P.Q., back in the lineup tonight with the back feeling better, harassed Roy into a 9-25 shooting night. Q with 20 of his own, on 4 triples, and three "big kid style, stop me if you can" postup hoops.
3) Big win. Start of a brutal 4 game West Coast trip. Back-to-backer Thursday and Friday against Denver and L.A. 10-7 on the year - not coming home under .500.
4) Looming Sunday - the annual trip to Sacramento. There is one thing that Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino hate: road trips to Sacramento. Last season, Reid openly wished for a plane crash on the trip to that game. Didn't mention it by name tonight, but spent approximately 14 minutes extolling the virtues of Portland: "A jewel of the Northwest. Plenty to do - and a great place to do it in!" I wish someone would trade Brandon Roy to Sacramento.
5) Juwan Howard sighting. JUWAN HOWARD SIGHTING! Still in the NBA! Still alive! Unstoppable with 12 first half points, when forced into action by foul trouble. Less good in the second half when Mike Beasley lit him up like a Moorish Menorah. Good to see him, though.
6) Album review: XX by The XX. Sounds like: if your kid brother and sister, who are teenagers, love The Cure and Elliot Smith, and are virgins, learned how to play a bass guitar, kind of, and use a drum machine, sort of, and then made an album. Delicious. On a scale of 1 to 10: 10.
Next game: Thursday in Denver. Late again. Don't look now, but the Dos streak is at 17 games. Last year: career high 79 of 82 games - God bless Tivo. West Coast trips are tough - let's see how we do.
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1) Mike Beasley. That's how we do. THAT'S HOW WE DO!!! It wasn't just 27 and 8. It was a scoring clinic. Cutting to open spaces in and around the lane, receiving balls, making short jumpers over the big guy help. Clearing out sides against slower defenders, waiting for room, driving, drawing fouls. Accepting double teams when they couldn't guard him with one guy, throwing ambidextrous passes over the defense to weak side shooters. Driving at Greg Oden, taking the bump, flipping the ball in with his right hand. I'm not saying he has it figured out - but his last five games he's at 18 and 9 in 34 minutes a night. Decision making. The best player on the floor tonight, on the West Coast, against a deep, good team. Decision making.
2) Hey, Portland star Brandon Roy, you sneering, sanctimonious, underathletic, overdribbling, pseudo-superstar? How'd it feel to have your crap handed to you by The President? P.Q., back in the lineup tonight with the back feeling better, harassed Roy into a 9-25 shooting night. Q with 20 of his own, on 4 triples, and three "big kid style, stop me if you can" postup hoops.
3) Big win. Start of a brutal 4 game West Coast trip. Back-to-backer Thursday and Friday against Denver and L.A. 10-7 on the year - not coming home under .500.
4) Looming Sunday - the annual trip to Sacramento. There is one thing that Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino hate: road trips to Sacramento. Last season, Reid openly wished for a plane crash on the trip to that game. Didn't mention it by name tonight, but spent approximately 14 minutes extolling the virtues of Portland: "A jewel of the Northwest. Plenty to do - and a great place to do it in!" I wish someone would trade Brandon Roy to Sacramento.
5) Juwan Howard sighting. JUWAN HOWARD SIGHTING! Still in the NBA! Still alive! Unstoppable with 12 first half points, when forced into action by foul trouble. Less good in the second half when Mike Beasley lit him up like a Moorish Menorah. Good to see him, though.
6) Album review: XX by The XX. Sounds like: if your kid brother and sister, who are teenagers, love The Cure and Elliot Smith, and are virgins, learned how to play a bass guitar, kind of, and use a drum machine, sort of, and then made an album. Delicious. On a scale of 1 to 10: 10.
Next game: Thursday in Denver. Late again. Don't look now, but the Dos streak is at 17 games. Last year: career high 79 of 82 games - God bless Tivo. West Coast trips are tough - let's see how we do.
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
Celtics 92 Heat 85
6 Thoughts
1) Good, spirited basketball game against a veteran Celtic team. Tough loss to take, because Miami did just about everything they hope to do: DWade ran the show with 27, 6 rebounds and 5 assists; Jermaine O'Neal had a double-double (14 and 10, albeit with 3 costly late missed free throws); Mike Beasley had one of his better games, with 18 and 7, and played the entire fourth quarter in which he had 11 and single-handedly dominated the early play to turn a 2 point deficit into a 5 point lead with Wade on the bench; and, Mario Chalmers was aggressive attacking the basket all night long.
2) What didn't they do? Have shooters make open shots. James Jones and Daequan Cook were a combined 1-11 (0-6 from three), many wide open, stationary looks off plays from Wade. Cook, especially, missed two daggers with the Heat up 5 midway through the quarter. When Ray Allen hit a three from the top for Boston with a minute to go to extend to an insurmountable 6 point lead, it was poetic justice. Make or miss league.
3) Why are the Celtics good? A commitment to defense, good size up front, savvy scorers in Allen and Pierce, and some spunky youth in Rondo and Perkins. But also - it is the attention to detail. Celtic leader Paul Pierce takes the big shots for Boston, handles the ball on the most crucial possessions, rebounds, has a cool scratchy voice, and shoots free throws like a man stepping out of a canoe in three feet of water. But he also is an incredibly savvy defensive player. Midway through the second quarter, Miami stole a Boston outlet pass and reset their offense, looking to attack quickly. With some Celtics too far downcourt to help, Pierce sagged into the middle to deter a drive by Wade, even though his man, James Jones, was spotting up opposite on the three point line. As Wade surveyed the defense, Jones drifted back and forth along the arc, looking to create an angle for a pass from Wade and an open look for three (which, on this night, he would have missed). As he did so, Pierce kept shooting back quick looks over his shoulder and shadowing his movements, providing just enough of a deterrent to make Wade think he couldn't get the ball over to his shooter. Eventually the rest of the Celtics got back on defense, and Pierce recovered to Jones. But it was a subtle moment that showed Pierce's commitment to winning basketball.
4) Interesting stat tonight: three Celtics, Rasheed Wallace, Kevin Garnett (with a killer 24 on 11-12 tonight), and Ray Allen, are amongst the top 7 in career NBA minutes played amongst active players. Also on the list, at just over 40,000 minutes: Shaquille O'Neal. Approximately 30,000 of them motionless, standing under the defensive basket, acquiring three second violations.
5) Okay, so Rasheed Wallace, he is easily my favorite current NBA player. Let's run down the checklist. Unstoppable postup game? Check (when he decides to use it). Ability at 6'11" to drift outside and nail a big three? Check. Led the league in technical fouls - by a mile - virtually every year he has played? Check. Got one tonight for arguing a non-foul call on a turnaround jumper. Scraggly facial hair? Check. Teammates always love him? Check. Does crazy dances in the pregame huddles? Check. Defensive stopper on the blocks? Check. Crazy white patch on the top of his head? Check. When frustrated in Portland, once said he didn't care what the team did with him "as long as they C.T.C? That's cut the check for you all that don't know." Check, check. Won a title in Detroit shortly after Plumber said it was a terrible trade by Detroit and that they could never win a title with Rasheed Wallace? Annnnnd, check, please. I mean, come on- he's doing it all. Now? Over this past weekend, now this. Take it away Rasheed:
"I got a technical tonight for saying Hedo Turkoglu is a flopper," Wallace told the Boston Herald. "Everyone knows officials try to keep games close and that they keep scouting reports on guys. Let the Golden Child (LeBron James) or the NBA Without Borders Guys (international players) do it, and it's fine and dandy."
"This game is watered down," Wallace continued. "It's watered down with all of that flopping (expletive). ... I just said that Turkoglu is a flopper. I didn't use no profanity, and Derrick Stafford gave me a tech. Ain't like it's the first time I said it. But everyone knows that he's a damn flopper. That's all that Turkoglu do. ... It's not like I dug my shoulder into him. He hits my shoulder on a pick and he goes, 'Oooh,' and he acted like I shot him."
NBA Without Border Guys!!! That's all that Turkoglu do!!!
6) We've tried to stay off of long-suffering Nets fan Plumber's case this year because his team is 0-16, and that's no fun for anyone. Also, he said that I had a carefully constructed facade of a guy that doesn't give an f--- to conceal the fact that underneath I really don't give an f---. Trying to get back in his good graces. Also, there's a good chance that he is right. Anyways, Plumber has spent much of his free time, and my work time and free time, complaining about Nets coach Lawrence Frank for the past...when was Lawrence Frank hired? Approximately around the time the Odyssey began? Feels like I've heard a lot of complaining...Anyways, today, with the Nets on the verge of tying the worst start to an NBA season (0-17), Lawrence Frank was finally fired. It's tough to follow Rasheed Wallce, but somebody has to do it. Plumber? Thoughts on the Frank firing?
"While I don't like to take pleasure in another's misfortune...actually, I do like to take pleasure in exactly that."
Bonus Thought) Finally, this is a preemptive comment, because someone is surely going to bring this up to me, and blame me for the bad karma. I feel terrible that four policemen in Washington, D.C. were shot and killed. Just because I don't like living in a right wing police state doesn't mean that I begrudge any policeman doing his best to live his life, and I certainly don't want any harm coming to them. And even I am appalled that the lead investigator on this case appears to be Dr. Dre. I mean, let's take this a little seriously...
Going out West this week, for four tough games. Trouble.
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1) Good, spirited basketball game against a veteran Celtic team. Tough loss to take, because Miami did just about everything they hope to do: DWade ran the show with 27, 6 rebounds and 5 assists; Jermaine O'Neal had a double-double (14 and 10, albeit with 3 costly late missed free throws); Mike Beasley had one of his better games, with 18 and 7, and played the entire fourth quarter in which he had 11 and single-handedly dominated the early play to turn a 2 point deficit into a 5 point lead with Wade on the bench; and, Mario Chalmers was aggressive attacking the basket all night long.
2) What didn't they do? Have shooters make open shots. James Jones and Daequan Cook were a combined 1-11 (0-6 from three), many wide open, stationary looks off plays from Wade. Cook, especially, missed two daggers with the Heat up 5 midway through the quarter. When Ray Allen hit a three from the top for Boston with a minute to go to extend to an insurmountable 6 point lead, it was poetic justice. Make or miss league.
3) Why are the Celtics good? A commitment to defense, good size up front, savvy scorers in Allen and Pierce, and some spunky youth in Rondo and Perkins. But also - it is the attention to detail. Celtic leader Paul Pierce takes the big shots for Boston, handles the ball on the most crucial possessions, rebounds, has a cool scratchy voice, and shoots free throws like a man stepping out of a canoe in three feet of water. But he also is an incredibly savvy defensive player. Midway through the second quarter, Miami stole a Boston outlet pass and reset their offense, looking to attack quickly. With some Celtics too far downcourt to help, Pierce sagged into the middle to deter a drive by Wade, even though his man, James Jones, was spotting up opposite on the three point line. As Wade surveyed the defense, Jones drifted back and forth along the arc, looking to create an angle for a pass from Wade and an open look for three (which, on this night, he would have missed). As he did so, Pierce kept shooting back quick looks over his shoulder and shadowing his movements, providing just enough of a deterrent to make Wade think he couldn't get the ball over to his shooter. Eventually the rest of the Celtics got back on defense, and Pierce recovered to Jones. But it was a subtle moment that showed Pierce's commitment to winning basketball.
4) Interesting stat tonight: three Celtics, Rasheed Wallace, Kevin Garnett (with a killer 24 on 11-12 tonight), and Ray Allen, are amongst the top 7 in career NBA minutes played amongst active players. Also on the list, at just over 40,000 minutes: Shaquille O'Neal. Approximately 30,000 of them motionless, standing under the defensive basket, acquiring three second violations.
5) Okay, so Rasheed Wallace, he is easily my favorite current NBA player. Let's run down the checklist. Unstoppable postup game? Check (when he decides to use it). Ability at 6'11" to drift outside and nail a big three? Check. Led the league in technical fouls - by a mile - virtually every year he has played? Check. Got one tonight for arguing a non-foul call on a turnaround jumper. Scraggly facial hair? Check. Teammates always love him? Check. Does crazy dances in the pregame huddles? Check. Defensive stopper on the blocks? Check. Crazy white patch on the top of his head? Check. When frustrated in Portland, once said he didn't care what the team did with him "as long as they C.T.C? That's cut the check for you all that don't know." Check, check. Won a title in Detroit shortly after Plumber said it was a terrible trade by Detroit and that they could never win a title with Rasheed Wallace? Annnnnd, check, please. I mean, come on- he's doing it all. Now? Over this past weekend, now this. Take it away Rasheed:
"I got a technical tonight for saying Hedo Turkoglu is a flopper," Wallace told the Boston Herald. "Everyone knows officials try to keep games close and that they keep scouting reports on guys. Let the Golden Child (LeBron James) or the NBA Without Borders Guys (international players) do it, and it's fine and dandy."
"This game is watered down," Wallace continued. "It's watered down with all of that flopping (expletive). ... I just said that Turkoglu is a flopper. I didn't use no profanity, and Derrick Stafford gave me a tech. Ain't like it's the first time I said it. But everyone knows that he's a damn flopper. That's all that Turkoglu do. ... It's not like I dug my shoulder into him. He hits my shoulder on a pick and he goes, 'Oooh,' and he acted like I shot him."
NBA Without Border Guys!!! That's all that Turkoglu do!!!
6) We've tried to stay off of long-suffering Nets fan Plumber's case this year because his team is 0-16, and that's no fun for anyone. Also, he said that I had a carefully constructed facade of a guy that doesn't give an f--- to conceal the fact that underneath I really don't give an f---. Trying to get back in his good graces. Also, there's a good chance that he is right. Anyways, Plumber has spent much of his free time, and my work time and free time, complaining about Nets coach Lawrence Frank for the past...when was Lawrence Frank hired? Approximately around the time the Odyssey began? Feels like I've heard a lot of complaining...Anyways, today, with the Nets on the verge of tying the worst start to an NBA season (0-17), Lawrence Frank was finally fired. It's tough to follow Rasheed Wallce, but somebody has to do it. Plumber? Thoughts on the Frank firing?
"While I don't like to take pleasure in another's misfortune...actually, I do like to take pleasure in exactly that."
Bonus Thought) Finally, this is a preemptive comment, because someone is surely going to bring this up to me, and blame me for the bad karma. I feel terrible that four policemen in Washington, D.C. were shot and killed. Just because I don't like living in a right wing police state doesn't mean that I begrudge any policeman doing his best to live his life, and I certainly don't want any harm coming to them. And even I am appalled that the lead investigator on this case appears to be Dr. Dre. I mean, let's take this a little seriously...
Going out West this week, for four tough games. Trouble.
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Friday, November 27, 2009
Wizards 94 Heat 84
6 Thoughts
1) After stealing a win in Orlando Wednesday, the Heat gave one back tonight in Miami. Sometimes, over the course of 82 games, the other teams just plays harder than you play: Wizards had 16 offensive rebounds tonight, and won the overall battle of the boards 48-36. That was the game. We're exhausted - let's roll through it.
2) Any night young Wizards shooting guard Nick Young, averaging 4 points a game on the season, comes in and thoroughly outplays Heat superstar Dwyane Wade, scoring 22 points and holding Wade to 18 on 6-19 shooting, that's a problem for Miami. Wade took the majority of the night off - he's entitled - but couldn't gather himself for a strong finish, and didn't get enough help from his teammates.
3) Mike Beasley was okay, 14 points and 7 boards in 37 minutes. 8 of his points came in the first three minutes, though. Lacked impact. Wizards power forward Antawn Jamison, 24 points and 13 rebounds, is the perfect guy for Mike to emulate. Jamison is an undersized, marginally athletic power forward who relies on non-stop movement, an array of clever flip and scoop shots mixed in with an effective face up jumper, and a nose for the ball on the glass. Jamison has been successful in the league by utilizing his gifts: good hands and good shooting, and by understanding what constitutes a good shot. A good guy for Mike to study.
4) Interesting to watch Wizards star guard Gilbert Arenas, back this year after two years away for three knee surgeries, sit out the fourth quarter in favor of 5'5" dynamo Earl Boykins, who was incredibly effective and finished with 10 points and 9 assists in 21 minutes. Even more interesting, after a late Boykins lean-in jumper sealed the Heat's fate, leading to a Miami timeout, Arenas was the first Wizard off the bench to congratulate L'il Earl. Arenas, who always seems to be smiling, gets points for not sulking, and for cheering on his replacement.
5) Emcee Chalmers was aggressive again tonight, with 20 points on 8-15 shooting. It seems, though, that Mario only becomes aggressive when it becomes apparent that DWade is not inclined to be aggressive. It would nice to see Mario look to assert himself at all times, including when Wade is aggressive.
6) Thanksgiving wrap-up: brief dispute in the Dos International Headquarters today when the Captain revealed that not only does he not like cranberry sauce, he wouldn't even consider "soiling my turkey with it." Strong words. He took mild offense when someone - I don't want to say who - offered that his distaste for delicious cranberry sauce was "just dumb." That same person also threatened to eat lunch at the same time as The Captain every day for the next month, eating exclusively cranberry sauce to gross out The Captain, to which The Captain countered by threatening to eat Chinese food every day for lunch, to which the other person said he couldn't give a crud because who would eating Chinese food every day for a month hurt except the person doing the eating, since everyone knows Chinese food is disgusting. When The Captain pointed out that is exactly how he feels about cranberry sauce, the other person pointed out, "it's not the same at all, and that is still dumb." Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
1) After stealing a win in Orlando Wednesday, the Heat gave one back tonight in Miami. Sometimes, over the course of 82 games, the other teams just plays harder than you play: Wizards had 16 offensive rebounds tonight, and won the overall battle of the boards 48-36. That was the game. We're exhausted - let's roll through it.
2) Any night young Wizards shooting guard Nick Young, averaging 4 points a game on the season, comes in and thoroughly outplays Heat superstar Dwyane Wade, scoring 22 points and holding Wade to 18 on 6-19 shooting, that's a problem for Miami. Wade took the majority of the night off - he's entitled - but couldn't gather himself for a strong finish, and didn't get enough help from his teammates.
3) Mike Beasley was okay, 14 points and 7 boards in 37 minutes. 8 of his points came in the first three minutes, though. Lacked impact. Wizards power forward Antawn Jamison, 24 points and 13 rebounds, is the perfect guy for Mike to emulate. Jamison is an undersized, marginally athletic power forward who relies on non-stop movement, an array of clever flip and scoop shots mixed in with an effective face up jumper, and a nose for the ball on the glass. Jamison has been successful in the league by utilizing his gifts: good hands and good shooting, and by understanding what constitutes a good shot. A good guy for Mike to study.
4) Interesting to watch Wizards star guard Gilbert Arenas, back this year after two years away for three knee surgeries, sit out the fourth quarter in favor of 5'5" dynamo Earl Boykins, who was incredibly effective and finished with 10 points and 9 assists in 21 minutes. Even more interesting, after a late Boykins lean-in jumper sealed the Heat's fate, leading to a Miami timeout, Arenas was the first Wizard off the bench to congratulate L'il Earl. Arenas, who always seems to be smiling, gets points for not sulking, and for cheering on his replacement.
5) Emcee Chalmers was aggressive again tonight, with 20 points on 8-15 shooting. It seems, though, that Mario only becomes aggressive when it becomes apparent that DWade is not inclined to be aggressive. It would nice to see Mario look to assert himself at all times, including when Wade is aggressive.
6) Thanksgiving wrap-up: brief dispute in the Dos International Headquarters today when the Captain revealed that not only does he not like cranberry sauce, he wouldn't even consider "soiling my turkey with it." Strong words. He took mild offense when someone - I don't want to say who - offered that his distaste for delicious cranberry sauce was "just dumb." That same person also threatened to eat lunch at the same time as The Captain every day for the next month, eating exclusively cranberry sauce to gross out The Captain, to which The Captain countered by threatening to eat Chinese food every day for lunch, to which the other person said he couldn't give a crud because who would eating Chinese food every day for a month hurt except the person doing the eating, since everyone knows Chinese food is disgusting. When The Captain pointed out that is exactly how he feels about cranberry sauce, the other person pointed out, "it's not the same at all, and that is still dumb." Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Heat 99 Magic 98
Look, there are very few rules here at Dos Minutos, but one of them is: Any time the Heat win a game on the road on a last second goaltending dunk by the highly polarizing Michael Beasley against a team that was in the Finals last year, and the game is televised live in Scotland - we go eight thoughts instead of the traditional six! International style! You feel me? Let's go!
8 Thoughts
1) Jason Williams, the starting point guard on the Heat's '06 Championship team, took last year off, and returned this season as Orlando's backup. Forced in to a starting role with Jameer Nelson injured, Williams blistered the Heat all night long: 25 points, 4-6 threes. Stepped to the line up 1 with 9 seconds to go, missed a pair. Miami called timeout, struggled to get the ball inbounds at halfcourt, then got it to DWade on the move. Wade got to the foul line, pulled up for a floater that looked to be drifting slightly wide left...and out of nowhere, Supercool Mike Beasley went up over the cylinder, grabbed the ball, and dunked it through the hoop with a second to go. Ballgame. Orlando protested the blatantly illegal basket vociferously - even Jermaine O'Neal, running downcourt to celebrate, kept looking back nervously over his shoulder for the basket to be waived off. Get on the bus, get out of town...Not sweating the call: President Quentin Richardson, out again with the tweaked back and resplendent in velvet, and again the first one to Dwyane Wade to celebrate the win. Somehow President Q always finds Wade before anyone else - after viewing tonight's rousing finish, M.Minutos has suggested a "President Cam" for a dedicated look at just how many bodies Q has to throw out of the way to get to Wade first...
2) But we digress. Best win of the year for Miami, which found itself down 11 on the road to the deepest roster in basketball with 8 minutes to go and Wade floundering with only 8 points. Coach Spo went Defcon 1: he moved Wade to point guard, inserting James Jones and Cook as shooters, with Jermaino and Haslem up front. Wade is, easily, the best point guard in basketball - only Chris Paul is remotely in the discussion. He is an outstanding ballhandler and has flawless court vision. Playing the point also allows him to survey the defense from the top to get his own offense. On this night? 16-0 run in three minutes, part of a 16 point individual fourth quarter from Wade. Time and again he does things not to be believed. He can't play point guard full time because he'd be out of gas by Christmas - but when times are tight, it is generally Miami's best lineup...Good move tonight by Spo.
3) Just thought we should mention here that James Jones fouled out with 9 seconds to play, precipitating the two aforementioned missed Jason Williams free throws. When Mike Beasley checked back into the game to replace Jones, with the Heat needing a bucket to win, someone at Casa Dos might have said, "this kid will never f-ing make a shot in a spot like this." I could be wrong, but it sounded a lot like someone might have said that. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't Scotland's Faither, who has been pleading with Coach Spo to play Beas at the end of games for over a year now. Hey, if he had known it was going to be this easy, he probably would have played him. Yet another example of why I love Scotland...
4) Jermaine O'Neal. I'm not going to say he outplayed Magic superstar Dwight Howard; but he played much harder than Magic superstar Dwight Howard, and produced 13 points, 16 rebounds, and 2 blocks against Howard, who had 12, 16, and zero. A second quarter skirmish between the two, triggered by a Howard forearm shiver to Jermaino's chest, led to several minutes of "Tilt Jermaino," an alternate personality who voraciously pursues rebounds out of his area, and tries to drive the ball through Dwight Howard's considerable chest everytime he touches it. Surprisingly effective. As he stomped off the court with a minute to go in the half, "Tilt Jermaino" had a wild eyed smirk, bordering on psychotic. "That's a quiet look of contentment on Jermaine's face," opined Heat play-by-player Eric Reid, always one to take a "glass half-full" approach.
5) Okay, so we all remember last holiday season when former Heat forward Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion snapped at a girl to open the Christmas present he brought to her house as part of the Heat's community outreach program. Tonight's halftime featured a look at the Heat's annual Thanksgiving feast in Overtown, a poor section of Miami, always a highlight of any Heat fan's holiday season. Midway through the feast, Jermaino, engaged in a hotly contested game of Connect Four with a six year old girl, finally made his row, thrust his fists in the air and crowed, "I told you I am the champ at this!" Hey, these economically challenged six year old girls are never going to get anywhere if you coddle them. Later in the segment, Jermaino explained his perspective on the event, "anytime you can come out here and conversate with these people a little bit, that's a great thing." Just what I was thinking.
6) Same piece: not to get too wishy-washy, but Udonis Haslem demonstrated again why he is my favorite person who has ever played for the Heat. You could see him smiling, and taking the time to look each person who approached him right in the eye. He grew up in tough neighborhoods in Miami, and no player has ever been happier to win a title for his hometown than Udonis was is 2006...And he has been an absolute model citizen. Not only has Udonis never been in trouble, never complained about his role on the team, never caused any distraction of any kind - he's never even not played hard. Love UD.
7) Orlando came as close as you can get to a "whitewash" without getting it in the second quarter: four white guys (Redick, Gortat, Ryan Anderson, JWill), and one French black guy (Pietrus). A French black guy? Does that even really count as being black? It does? Mon Dieu - so close!
8) Okay, so The Captain and I are at Hooters last weekend watching Jimmy Johnson wrap up his fourth straight Nascar point championship, or whatever it is called - you know, car racing, the regular cars, not the little low ones with only one seat and your head out. So The Captain has a few too many cold ones and he is starting to get a little boorish - he hates Johnson, he likes Carl Edwards because he drinks milk and does a backflip off his car when he wins a race ("nothing wrong with a little flair," says The Cap). So this big redneck guy is like, Carl Edwards can't hold Johnson's jockstrap, but he is getting all technical, like, Don't you understand that Edwards can't drive with restrictor plates, and The Captain is like, Freak you. So eventually the redneck is like, Come say that to my face, so The Captain goes over to him, says, "Look, man, the fact that your mom and dad happened to conceive your pasty white ass on the hunk of soil known as the United States of America doesn't make you Luke Skywalker," grabs the guy's basket of wings, dumps it in his lap, turns on his heel, and leaves. My hero!
8 Thoughts
1) Jason Williams, the starting point guard on the Heat's '06 Championship team, took last year off, and returned this season as Orlando's backup. Forced in to a starting role with Jameer Nelson injured, Williams blistered the Heat all night long: 25 points, 4-6 threes. Stepped to the line up 1 with 9 seconds to go, missed a pair. Miami called timeout, struggled to get the ball inbounds at halfcourt, then got it to DWade on the move. Wade got to the foul line, pulled up for a floater that looked to be drifting slightly wide left...and out of nowhere, Supercool Mike Beasley went up over the cylinder, grabbed the ball, and dunked it through the hoop with a second to go. Ballgame. Orlando protested the blatantly illegal basket vociferously - even Jermaine O'Neal, running downcourt to celebrate, kept looking back nervously over his shoulder for the basket to be waived off. Get on the bus, get out of town...Not sweating the call: President Quentin Richardson, out again with the tweaked back and resplendent in velvet, and again the first one to Dwyane Wade to celebrate the win. Somehow President Q always finds Wade before anyone else - after viewing tonight's rousing finish, M.Minutos has suggested a "President Cam" for a dedicated look at just how many bodies Q has to throw out of the way to get to Wade first...
2) But we digress. Best win of the year for Miami, which found itself down 11 on the road to the deepest roster in basketball with 8 minutes to go and Wade floundering with only 8 points. Coach Spo went Defcon 1: he moved Wade to point guard, inserting James Jones and Cook as shooters, with Jermaino and Haslem up front. Wade is, easily, the best point guard in basketball - only Chris Paul is remotely in the discussion. He is an outstanding ballhandler and has flawless court vision. Playing the point also allows him to survey the defense from the top to get his own offense. On this night? 16-0 run in three minutes, part of a 16 point individual fourth quarter from Wade. Time and again he does things not to be believed. He can't play point guard full time because he'd be out of gas by Christmas - but when times are tight, it is generally Miami's best lineup...Good move tonight by Spo.
3) Just thought we should mention here that James Jones fouled out with 9 seconds to play, precipitating the two aforementioned missed Jason Williams free throws. When Mike Beasley checked back into the game to replace Jones, with the Heat needing a bucket to win, someone at Casa Dos might have said, "this kid will never f-ing make a shot in a spot like this." I could be wrong, but it sounded a lot like someone might have said that. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't Scotland's Faither, who has been pleading with Coach Spo to play Beas at the end of games for over a year now. Hey, if he had known it was going to be this easy, he probably would have played him. Yet another example of why I love Scotland...
4) Jermaine O'Neal. I'm not going to say he outplayed Magic superstar Dwight Howard; but he played much harder than Magic superstar Dwight Howard, and produced 13 points, 16 rebounds, and 2 blocks against Howard, who had 12, 16, and zero. A second quarter skirmish between the two, triggered by a Howard forearm shiver to Jermaino's chest, led to several minutes of "Tilt Jermaino," an alternate personality who voraciously pursues rebounds out of his area, and tries to drive the ball through Dwight Howard's considerable chest everytime he touches it. Surprisingly effective. As he stomped off the court with a minute to go in the half, "Tilt Jermaino" had a wild eyed smirk, bordering on psychotic. "That's a quiet look of contentment on Jermaine's face," opined Heat play-by-player Eric Reid, always one to take a "glass half-full" approach.
5) Okay, so we all remember last holiday season when former Heat forward Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion snapped at a girl to open the Christmas present he brought to her house as part of the Heat's community outreach program. Tonight's halftime featured a look at the Heat's annual Thanksgiving feast in Overtown, a poor section of Miami, always a highlight of any Heat fan's holiday season. Midway through the feast, Jermaino, engaged in a hotly contested game of Connect Four with a six year old girl, finally made his row, thrust his fists in the air and crowed, "I told you I am the champ at this!" Hey, these economically challenged six year old girls are never going to get anywhere if you coddle them. Later in the segment, Jermaino explained his perspective on the event, "anytime you can come out here and conversate with these people a little bit, that's a great thing." Just what I was thinking.
6) Same piece: not to get too wishy-washy, but Udonis Haslem demonstrated again why he is my favorite person who has ever played for the Heat. You could see him smiling, and taking the time to look each person who approached him right in the eye. He grew up in tough neighborhoods in Miami, and no player has ever been happier to win a title for his hometown than Udonis was is 2006...And he has been an absolute model citizen. Not only has Udonis never been in trouble, never complained about his role on the team, never caused any distraction of any kind - he's never even not played hard. Love UD.
7) Orlando came as close as you can get to a "whitewash" without getting it in the second quarter: four white guys (Redick, Gortat, Ryan Anderson, JWill), and one French black guy (Pietrus). A French black guy? Does that even really count as being black? It does? Mon Dieu - so close!
8) Okay, so The Captain and I are at Hooters last weekend watching Jimmy Johnson wrap up his fourth straight Nascar point championship, or whatever it is called - you know, car racing, the regular cars, not the little low ones with only one seat and your head out. So The Captain has a few too many cold ones and he is starting to get a little boorish - he hates Johnson, he likes Carl Edwards because he drinks milk and does a backflip off his car when he wins a race ("nothing wrong with a little flair," says The Cap). So this big redneck guy is like, Carl Edwards can't hold Johnson's jockstrap, but he is getting all technical, like, Don't you understand that Edwards can't drive with restrictor plates, and The Captain is like, Freak you. So eventually the redneck is like, Come say that to my face, so The Captain goes over to him, says, "Look, man, the fact that your mom and dad happened to conceive your pasty white ass on the hunk of soil known as the United States of America doesn't make you Luke Skywalker," grabs the guy's basket of wings, dumps it in his lap, turns on his heel, and leaves. My hero!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Heat 102 Hornets 101
6 Thoughts
1) The Heat break a three game losing streak with a tenuous win at home over New Orleans without their best player, point guard Chris Paul. If you want to make the playoffs, you can't lose home games to middling teams playing without their best player. Miami blew two double digit halftime leads, got down by 4 late, and clawed back to win. Now 8-5 - it wasn't pretty, but it's in the bank.
2) Former New York Knick coach, and current ABC announcer, Jeff Van Gundy like to say the NBA is a "make or miss" league. In the last minute of the game, Udonis Haslem made an open 12 foot baseline jumper - his signature shot - to tie the game at 100. Hornets rookie Marcus Thornton made just 1-2 free throws to give the Hornets a 1 point lead. Udonis then made a double clutch, leaning, legs-splayed, elbow jumper - off the glass - to put the Heat up one with 20 seconds to go. After a timeout, the Hornets cleared out the top and let their best player, power forward David West, go one-on-one with Jermaine O'Neal. West pulled up from 18, pump faked Jermaino part of the way by, leaned out to elude JO's effort to recover, and fired a miss off the rim - ball game. Make or miss league.
3) Speaking of the aforementioned Thornton, a rookie from LSU, he took the "I Hate What They Did To Me" performance - the phenomenon in which a player whom a team traded comes back and haunts his former team for the rest of his career - to a whole new level. Named, of course, after former Heat power forward Kurt Thomas, whom Miami traded after a promising rookie season for Jamal Mashburn. Thomas say out nearly two full years with a broken foot after the trade, only to emerge in the late 90s as a primary nemesis on the arch rival Knicks, announcing his arrival to town for one game by proclaiming "I hate what they did to me." Thomas is still playing, by the way, at the approximate age of 50 - one can only imagine it is to get one more shot in at the Heat some way, some how. In any case, Thornton was drafted by the Heat in the second round this past summer, specifically for New Orleans, who coveted him, and immediately swapped two future second round picks for him. He spent approximately seventy seconds in the Heat organization. And yet, here he was tonight, apparently hating what we did to him, scoring 24 points on 5-7 threes. Imagine what he would have done if they hadn't traded him until the next day.
4) Mario Chalmers strung together his second excellent game in a row after scoring a career high 30 Friday. Tonight it was 12 points on 5-8 shooting, with 9 assists against just 1 turnover. More importantly, he aggressively sought out plays, driving in the paint looking to finish or dish - it was no accident that Haslem's game winning jumpers both came off passes from Emcee after penetration. The Heat organization spent all summer defending Chalmers, and their decision not to pursue a veteran point guard to supplant him - before this weekend, that decision looked questionable at best. These last two games, Chalmers finally started to look like he may yet justify their confidence in him. He is quick, he is a good ballhandler, a good shooter, and a fairly solid decision maker. They need him - desperately - to make plays off the dribble, if only to give Dwyane Wade an occasional rest. Keep it going, Mario.
5) Chris Paul, sidelined by a sprained ankle, was resplendent in a houndstooth sport coat over a crisp white dress shirt on the Hornet bench. Look endorsed by Dos and O.Minutos, panned by M.Minutos, who is disinclined to like anything Paul does because she considers him "snerdy" - a specific combination of snide and nerdy (black guys only). Also warrants mentioning he once, with extreme petulance, punched an opponent in the breadbasket in college - during a game, on purpose. One of the highlights of that, or any other, college basketball season...
6) Okay, so someone wrote in to ask me: "what do you think about Oprah leaving her show?" What? Oprah still has a show? I must be missing, like, the last 22 seasons on DVD...
1) The Heat break a three game losing streak with a tenuous win at home over New Orleans without their best player, point guard Chris Paul. If you want to make the playoffs, you can't lose home games to middling teams playing without their best player. Miami blew two double digit halftime leads, got down by 4 late, and clawed back to win. Now 8-5 - it wasn't pretty, but it's in the bank.
2) Former New York Knick coach, and current ABC announcer, Jeff Van Gundy like to say the NBA is a "make or miss" league. In the last minute of the game, Udonis Haslem made an open 12 foot baseline jumper - his signature shot - to tie the game at 100. Hornets rookie Marcus Thornton made just 1-2 free throws to give the Hornets a 1 point lead. Udonis then made a double clutch, leaning, legs-splayed, elbow jumper - off the glass - to put the Heat up one with 20 seconds to go. After a timeout, the Hornets cleared out the top and let their best player, power forward David West, go one-on-one with Jermaine O'Neal. West pulled up from 18, pump faked Jermaino part of the way by, leaned out to elude JO's effort to recover, and fired a miss off the rim - ball game. Make or miss league.
3) Speaking of the aforementioned Thornton, a rookie from LSU, he took the "I Hate What They Did To Me" performance - the phenomenon in which a player whom a team traded comes back and haunts his former team for the rest of his career - to a whole new level. Named, of course, after former Heat power forward Kurt Thomas, whom Miami traded after a promising rookie season for Jamal Mashburn. Thomas say out nearly two full years with a broken foot after the trade, only to emerge in the late 90s as a primary nemesis on the arch rival Knicks, announcing his arrival to town for one game by proclaiming "I hate what they did to me." Thomas is still playing, by the way, at the approximate age of 50 - one can only imagine it is to get one more shot in at the Heat some way, some how. In any case, Thornton was drafted by the Heat in the second round this past summer, specifically for New Orleans, who coveted him, and immediately swapped two future second round picks for him. He spent approximately seventy seconds in the Heat organization. And yet, here he was tonight, apparently hating what we did to him, scoring 24 points on 5-7 threes. Imagine what he would have done if they hadn't traded him until the next day.
4) Mario Chalmers strung together his second excellent game in a row after scoring a career high 30 Friday. Tonight it was 12 points on 5-8 shooting, with 9 assists against just 1 turnover. More importantly, he aggressively sought out plays, driving in the paint looking to finish or dish - it was no accident that Haslem's game winning jumpers both came off passes from Emcee after penetration. The Heat organization spent all summer defending Chalmers, and their decision not to pursue a veteran point guard to supplant him - before this weekend, that decision looked questionable at best. These last two games, Chalmers finally started to look like he may yet justify their confidence in him. He is quick, he is a good ballhandler, a good shooter, and a fairly solid decision maker. They need him - desperately - to make plays off the dribble, if only to give Dwyane Wade an occasional rest. Keep it going, Mario.
5) Chris Paul, sidelined by a sprained ankle, was resplendent in a houndstooth sport coat over a crisp white dress shirt on the Hornet bench. Look endorsed by Dos and O.Minutos, panned by M.Minutos, who is disinclined to like anything Paul does because she considers him "snerdy" - a specific combination of snide and nerdy (black guys only). Also warrants mentioning he once, with extreme petulance, punched an opponent in the breadbasket in college - during a game, on purpose. One of the highlights of that, or any other, college basketball season...
6) Okay, so someone wrote in to ask me: "what do you think about Oprah leaving her show?" What? Oprah still has a show? I must be missing, like, the last 22 seasons on DVD...
Friday, November 20, 2009
Raptors 120 Heat 113
Part 1
Somehow due to a technical snafu, we lost the first part of our post. To summarize briefly: Emcee Chalmers career high 30, Miami down 23 in second half, cut it to 1 with 3 minutes to go, Beasley good night, but couldn't finish huge play at rim down the stretch, Bosh best player on the court. That ought to do it.
Somehow due to a technical snafu, we lost the first part of our post. To summarize briefly: Emcee Chalmers career high 30, Miami down 23 in second half, cut it to 1 with 3 minutes to go, Beasley good night, but couldn't finish huge play at rim down the stretch, Bosh best player on the court. That ought to do it.
Raptors 120 Heat 113 pt 2
4)cont.:
5) We've said it before, but any game involving Bennett Salvatore as a referee is bound to be bizarre - that how you get a game where one team is down 23 a minute into the third quarter, and down 4 6 minutes later. Miami and Toronto shot a combined 70 free throws - that's a lot of whistles. Bennettmania!
6) No jokes tonight. When you lose three in a row, no jokes, no booty calls, no nothing. We would like to mention that we got several complaints about our review of Sarah Palin's Goin' Rogue, which we found odd, since the review was positive in nature. One disgruntled reader asked repeatedly: "Why is that funny? I don't get it? Why is she talking in a black slave's voice?" That's a great point - I don't know. It just seemed funny. To me. Sometimes these things are subjective...
next game: Sunday vs. New Orleans, and if all goes well, future Miami Heat point guard Chris Paul.
-----------------------
5) We've said it before, but any game involving Bennett Salvatore as a referee is bound to be bizarre - that how you get a game where one team is down 23 a minute into the third quarter, and down 4 6 minutes later. Miami and Toronto shot a combined 70 free throws - that's a lot of whistles. Bennettmania!
6) No jokes tonight. When you lose three in a row, no jokes, no booty calls, no nothing. We would like to mention that we got several complaints about our review of Sarah Palin's Goin' Rogue, which we found odd, since the review was positive in nature. One disgruntled reader asked repeatedly: "Why is that funny? I don't get it? Why is she talking in a black slave's voice?" That's a great point - I don't know. It just seemed funny. To me. Sometimes these things are subjective...
next game: Sunday vs. New Orleans, and if all goes well, future Miami Heat point guard Chris Paul.
-----------------------
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Hawks 105 Heat 90
6 Thoughts
1) Ouch. Second night in a row. Just, ouch. Second night in a row a team was too long and too athletic. Don't know how this occurred to me, but every Heat starter is undersized for his position - and only Wade and Chalmers are plus athletes. That's disturbing. Ouch.
2) The Hawks, who vanquished the Heat in the playoffs last year, are flying, off to a very impressive 10-2 start. It is a talented group that has grown up together, suffered through tough times as youngsters, were considered wildly enigmatic, and now they have started to put it all together. Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson asked the most enigmatic Hawk, Josh Smith, what the key to the hot start has been: "We have made a conscious decision that we are going to play defense every night." Okay! Good idea! By the way, this is Josh's sixth season!
3) Yes, where in the world is Dwyane Wade? Third straight poor - very poor - game for Dee Dub. 15 points on 6-18 shooting. On the road, against a good team - Miami has no chance if Wade scores 15 on 6-18. No chance. He seems tired and lifeless over the past week. I think Mike Beasley's poor play might be depressing him...
4) Okay, the Mike Beasley joke was just to make sure Faither was reading. Mike was pretty good tonight. Had the opportunity to play more minutes - Udonis Haslem out for a game or two as the result of a bad fall last night. Mike played 33 minutes - would have been more but he was saddled with foul difficulty. Tough matchup against Josh Smith, who is taller and far more athletic - and more experienced. Also, has consciously decided to play defense this season..Mike got the ball in the hoop: 21 points on 8-15, and grabbed 9 rebounds. Did a little better with his decision making - several times squared up to the basket, took a hard dribble or two, and shot the open shot. That should be his bread and butter right now. Let's just leave it at that. He wasn't perfect, but he got some stuff done.
5) Heat play-by-player Eric Reid seemed a little down due to the beatings the past two nights. Failed to finish stories with his usual panache. Late in the third quarter rookie referee Marat Kogut was caught on replay making a call. "He has a fascinating background, Tony," Eric advised his partner, Tony Fiorentino, "he was born in the Ukraine..." That was it. Quite a facinating background indeed. Okay!Let's cheer up! There's a book review coming up in # 6!
6) Okay, great, time for another book review: Been readin’ Goin’ Rogue by Sarah Palin. And I have to tell ya, it's pretty gosh darn interestin’. One of the most awesomest sections is when Sarah is tellin’ her husband Todd about thinkin’ about runnin’ for Vice President, and why she is havin’ such a hard time decidin’. Here’s a little piece of it:
“Lawz a-might-y, Pappy, I do declare, I’z jus’ cant decides what to do.”
“Uhhn.”
“Ol’ man McCain, he’s a sayin’ that’s wez can beats Obammy and Massa Biden, but I’z ain’t too sho. I do declarze iff’n I run, I wud be missin’ you and the younguns so powerfulz much.”
“Uhhn.”
“You knowz Bristol , she bin tomcattin’ aroun’ theze parts, tho’ I shorely do likes this Levi, he sho’ nuff seemz like a bright boy.”
“Uhhn.”
“Why, Pappy – so whatchu thinks?
“Uhhn.”
“Thankz, Pappy, youse right! I'z gon' do it!”
Powerful stuff! Can’t wait for Chapter 2!
1) Ouch. Second night in a row. Just, ouch. Second night in a row a team was too long and too athletic. Don't know how this occurred to me, but every Heat starter is undersized for his position - and only Wade and Chalmers are plus athletes. That's disturbing. Ouch.
2) The Hawks, who vanquished the Heat in the playoffs last year, are flying, off to a very impressive 10-2 start. It is a talented group that has grown up together, suffered through tough times as youngsters, were considered wildly enigmatic, and now they have started to put it all together. Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson asked the most enigmatic Hawk, Josh Smith, what the key to the hot start has been: "We have made a conscious decision that we are going to play defense every night." Okay! Good idea! By the way, this is Josh's sixth season!
3) Yes, where in the world is Dwyane Wade? Third straight poor - very poor - game for Dee Dub. 15 points on 6-18 shooting. On the road, against a good team - Miami has no chance if Wade scores 15 on 6-18. No chance. He seems tired and lifeless over the past week. I think Mike Beasley's poor play might be depressing him...
4) Okay, the Mike Beasley joke was just to make sure Faither was reading. Mike was pretty good tonight. Had the opportunity to play more minutes - Udonis Haslem out for a game or two as the result of a bad fall last night. Mike played 33 minutes - would have been more but he was saddled with foul difficulty. Tough matchup against Josh Smith, who is taller and far more athletic - and more experienced. Also, has consciously decided to play defense this season..Mike got the ball in the hoop: 21 points on 8-15, and grabbed 9 rebounds. Did a little better with his decision making - several times squared up to the basket, took a hard dribble or two, and shot the open shot. That should be his bread and butter right now. Let's just leave it at that. He wasn't perfect, but he got some stuff done.
5) Heat play-by-player Eric Reid seemed a little down due to the beatings the past two nights. Failed to finish stories with his usual panache. Late in the third quarter rookie referee Marat Kogut was caught on replay making a call. "He has a fascinating background, Tony," Eric advised his partner, Tony Fiorentino, "he was born in the Ukraine..." That was it. Quite a facinating background indeed. Okay!Let's cheer up! There's a book review coming up in # 6!
6) Okay, great, time for another book review: Been readin’ Goin’ Rogue by Sarah Palin. And I have to tell ya, it's pretty gosh darn interestin’. One of the most awesomest sections is when Sarah is tellin’ her husband Todd about thinkin’ about runnin’ for Vice President, and why she is havin’ such a hard time decidin’. Here’s a little piece of it:
“Lawz a-might-y, Pappy, I do declare, I’z jus’ cant decides what to do.”
“Uhhn.”
“Ol’ man McCain, he’s a sayin’ that’s wez can beats Obammy and Massa Biden, but I’z ain’t too sho. I do declarze iff’n I run, I wud be missin’ you and the younguns so powerfulz much.”
“Uhhn.”
“You knowz Bristol , she bin tomcattin’ aroun’ theze parts, tho’ I shorely do likes this Levi, he sho’ nuff seemz like a bright boy.”
“Uhhn.”
“Why, Pappy – so whatchu thinks?
“Uhhn.”
“Thankz, Pappy, youse right! I'z gon' do it!”
Powerful stuff! Can’t wait for Chapter 2!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thunder 100 Heat 87
6 Thoughts
1) Beat down in Miami. You could see it coming after an atrocious performance and late escape against New Jersey on Saturday night. Oklahoma City looked long, athletic, quick, and energetic. Miami looked lethargic. Besides Dwyane Wade, who struggled through a 6-19, 22 point effort, Miami doesn't exactly overwhelm anyone physically. Tonight they looked outclassed athletically. They are 7-3 after 10 games, but it's a bit of a mirage - the schedule has been soft, and heavy on home games. With Wade healthy, they a .500 team, maybe slightly better - so they are bound to come back to earth some.
2) Second year Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook absolutely annihilated second year Heat point guard Mario Chalmers. Westbrook, bigger and stronger and as quick as Chalmers, harassed him all over the court, making it hard for Emcee to get Miami into their offense. On the other end, Westbrook bullied Chalmers with 24 points on 9-13 shooting. Westbrook has an especially abrasive personality - taunting, smirking, and swaggering; Chalmers is as mild-mannered a player as there is in the league. It felt like a night where Mario had to stand up for himself physically and emotionally - instead, he got punked.
3) I'm not even going to elaborate on it, except to say that the whole situation is about to get ugly, organizationally-speaking, but Mike Beasley somehow managed zero (0) rebounds in 23 minutes.
4) If there was any bright spot for the Heat tonight - and, really, there was only one - it was Daequan Cook finally starting to show some rhythm coming back from a mild shoulder injury. 17 second half points for Cook, 14 in the fourth quarter, with 4 threes. They desperately need shooting and scoring right now - Cook provided that throughout the first half last year before injuring the same shoulder, and it would be a huge boost if he consistently gives them same kind of shooting off the bench now that he is back.
5) Well, every year you know you are going to see something that you have never seen before. Early in this one, Thunder forward Jeff Green (one of Dos Minutos' Top Ten Least Favorite NBA Players) started a drive approximately 35 feet from the basket, careened slightly out of control, ran over a stunned and stationary Jermaine O'Neal - back from taking a day off against the lowly Nets - and earned an easy charging foul from official Ed Malloy, in perfect position under the basket. Except, young official Brian Forte came running in from nearly midcourt, forty feet from the collision, to call a block on Jermaino, claiming that he was inside the "no charge" line near the basket. Replays showed Jermaino was roughly a foot and a half outside the line - whatever, that happens - NBA officials make bizarrely incorrect calls all the time. Except in this case, there were two calls. The referees huddled, discussed the play, and then decided to assess fouls to both O'Neal and Green and have a jump ball at midcourt. I'm no referee - much like a po-lice, the job description is to make peoples' lives worse, and I'm not with it - but it seems like, out of any decision they could have arrived at, that was the one thing it couldn't be. One guy ran over another guy. Either the second guy was in position, or he wasn't - it's one play - it has to be either a block or a charge, it can't be both. If you want to say, "hey, we don't know - no fouls on anybody, and let's jump it up," fine. Everybody would be fine with that. But to give both guys a foul - that's the only thing it couldn't be, it's the only call you can't make there. On the other hand, it was the call that made the greatest amount of peoples' lives worse at that given moment. Also, the least competent. So I guess we should have expected it.
6) A sobering moment: RIP for Ken Ober, host of MTV’s classic cult 80s game show Remote Control, and a native of West Hartford, Connecticut, my hometown. Also had a starring role on the short-lived television series version of the movie Parenthood. Ken died far too young this week, at the age of 52, of unknown causes. I arrived in my office to a deluge of emails – okay, one, from my brother – informing me of his death. Ken spent more time behind the camera than in front of it as his career progressed, notably on fellow Remote Control alumnus Colin Quinn’s show Tough Crowd on Comedy Central. Most recently, Ken had been a writer and producer on Carlos Mencia’s show The Mind of Mencia, so suicide can’t be ruled out...
Next game: 2morrow, on the road in the Atl, against the hottest team in basketball, and last year's playoff opponent, the Atlanta Hawks. Trouble brewing...
-------------------
1) Beat down in Miami. You could see it coming after an atrocious performance and late escape against New Jersey on Saturday night. Oklahoma City looked long, athletic, quick, and energetic. Miami looked lethargic. Besides Dwyane Wade, who struggled through a 6-19, 22 point effort, Miami doesn't exactly overwhelm anyone physically. Tonight they looked outclassed athletically. They are 7-3 after 10 games, but it's a bit of a mirage - the schedule has been soft, and heavy on home games. With Wade healthy, they a .500 team, maybe slightly better - so they are bound to come back to earth some.
2) Second year Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook absolutely annihilated second year Heat point guard Mario Chalmers. Westbrook, bigger and stronger and as quick as Chalmers, harassed him all over the court, making it hard for Emcee to get Miami into their offense. On the other end, Westbrook bullied Chalmers with 24 points on 9-13 shooting. Westbrook has an especially abrasive personality - taunting, smirking, and swaggering; Chalmers is as mild-mannered a player as there is in the league. It felt like a night where Mario had to stand up for himself physically and emotionally - instead, he got punked.
3) I'm not even going to elaborate on it, except to say that the whole situation is about to get ugly, organizationally-speaking, but Mike Beasley somehow managed zero (0) rebounds in 23 minutes.
4) If there was any bright spot for the Heat tonight - and, really, there was only one - it was Daequan Cook finally starting to show some rhythm coming back from a mild shoulder injury. 17 second half points for Cook, 14 in the fourth quarter, with 4 threes. They desperately need shooting and scoring right now - Cook provided that throughout the first half last year before injuring the same shoulder, and it would be a huge boost if he consistently gives them same kind of shooting off the bench now that he is back.
5) Well, every year you know you are going to see something that you have never seen before. Early in this one, Thunder forward Jeff Green (one of Dos Minutos' Top Ten Least Favorite NBA Players) started a drive approximately 35 feet from the basket, careened slightly out of control, ran over a stunned and stationary Jermaine O'Neal - back from taking a day off against the lowly Nets - and earned an easy charging foul from official Ed Malloy, in perfect position under the basket. Except, young official Brian Forte came running in from nearly midcourt, forty feet from the collision, to call a block on Jermaino, claiming that he was inside the "no charge" line near the basket. Replays showed Jermaino was roughly a foot and a half outside the line - whatever, that happens - NBA officials make bizarrely incorrect calls all the time. Except in this case, there were two calls. The referees huddled, discussed the play, and then decided to assess fouls to both O'Neal and Green and have a jump ball at midcourt. I'm no referee - much like a po-lice, the job description is to make peoples' lives worse, and I'm not with it - but it seems like, out of any decision they could have arrived at, that was the one thing it couldn't be. One guy ran over another guy. Either the second guy was in position, or he wasn't - it's one play - it has to be either a block or a charge, it can't be both. If you want to say, "hey, we don't know - no fouls on anybody, and let's jump it up," fine. Everybody would be fine with that. But to give both guys a foul - that's the only thing it couldn't be, it's the only call you can't make there. On the other hand, it was the call that made the greatest amount of peoples' lives worse at that given moment. Also, the least competent. So I guess we should have expected it.
6) A sobering moment: RIP for Ken Ober, host of MTV’s classic cult 80s game show Remote Control, and a native of West Hartford, Connecticut, my hometown. Also had a starring role on the short-lived television series version of the movie Parenthood. Ken died far too young this week, at the age of 52, of unknown causes. I arrived in my office to a deluge of emails – okay, one, from my brother – informing me of his death. Ken spent more time behind the camera than in front of it as his career progressed, notably on fellow Remote Control alumnus Colin Quinn’s show Tough Crowd on Comedy Central. Most recently, Ken had been a writer and producer on Carlos Mencia’s show The Mind of Mencia, so suicide can’t be ruled out...
Next game: 2morrow, on the road in the Atl, against the hottest team in basketball, and last year's playoff opponent, the Atlanta Hawks. Trouble brewing...
-------------------
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Heat 81 Nets 80
6 Thoughts
1) Well, that was bizarre...Miami came out against a horrendous 0-9 Nets team at home, dialed up the intensity to approximately zero, got one basket from Dwyane Wade in the entire second half...and won. Now 7-2, albeit against a soft schedule, with a lot of home games in there...It's tough times for these Nets, who were bad last year, traded their best player, Vince Carter, in the offseason, and are now playing with half their roster injured. Even I felt bad for them tonight, because they played hard, and should have won. Okay, I didn't feel bad. But they should have won.
2) Dwyane Wade's one second half basket? A game-winning three off an inbounds pass, down 2, with 4 seconds to go when the play began. Wade received the ball, took a step back, making it obvious he was going to try to line up a three to win instead of driving for a tie, bobbled the ball, picked it up off the floor, and drilled it with Net defender Trenton Hassell up in his airspace. .1 seconds left on the clock - ballgame. DWade was passive most of the second half as the Nets trapped him at every opportunity, and he was a willing passer, but mostly took the night off. If you can't take a night off against the Nets, when are you going to get any rest? Filled the stat line with 8 rebounds, 6 steals, 6 assists, and 2 blocks to go with his 22 points.
3) DWade's shot never would have been possible without an even more unlikely three pointer a couple of possessions earlier, a pivot-and-fake-three-times-without-moving-the-defender-oops-the-shot-clock-is-running-down-so-I-had-better-heave-it-up-there...and bank it in off the glass to tie the game by...who else - The President, Quentin Richardson. Q made 3-4 triples for 13 points, quite an explosion considering he hadn't scored a basket in two games. Also made the decisive inbounds pass to Wade - showing Coach Spo's confidence in his decision making - and looked like the happiest person in the building when Wade's three ended the game. He was the first person downcourt to leap-bump Wade - he is always the first person to Wade to congratulate him on anything. Hey, they are long-time friends, but Q's no dope - keep the superstar happy. Also, good moment in the post-game interview with Q when he referred to Nets second year player Chris Douglas-Roberts as "Douglas Robertson." Twice.
4) Okay, so our man Plumber - the biggest Nets fan we know...okay, the only Nets fan we know...okay, the only Nets fan - hates Nets coach Lawrence Frank with the intensity of a thousand suns. He has an absolute passion for breaking down every Frank move like a Christian fundamentalist taking apart the Qu-ran. Our take on L.Frank - at least on this night: mixed. Defensively, the Nets were great, they junked up their defenses by mixing zone with man-to-man, and containment presses to milk the Heat's shot clock on almost every possession. When you are undermanned like the Nets, you want as few possessions as possible in the game. They crowded Wade, and made him give the ball up. They are tough to play against because no other team in the league plays as much zone. While it isn't a recipe for long-term success, it does give them a chance to win. Offensively, not so great. Brooks Lopez, the tall, tall second year Nets center, looked great on postups all night long. Jermaine O'Neal missed the game with a bruised hip, so Lopez was guarded most of the night by Udonis Haslem and Joel Anthony - neither is more than 6'8", and Lopez was very successful inside against them. But he posted up so infrequently - he spent the majority of his night on the perimeter 20 feet from the basket. He is a nice shooter - but he's 7'2". Get him down in the post, make Miami double team him, let him kick out to shooters - let him make the other players on his team better. He ended up 8-18 from the floor, and I would guess he has 4 or 5 baskets right around the rim, which means he was like 3-13 from everywhere else. It didn't look like a well thought out offense. And they only scored 80 with Jermaino - Miami's best defender - out, so you know...
5) Udonis Haslem, out of his mind again. 28 points, 12 rebounds. 28 points tied a career high, set against...well, the New Jersey Nets. Miami native UD also pointed out after the game that although the Triple A arena is Dwyane's house, "it's my town." Love that UD.
6) Faither's not going to like this, but Mike Beasley: 3-17. How many times can one person receive a pass, dribble in to the paint where all the tall guys are, get a little off-balance and out of control, and twist some ridiculous shot with a minimal chance of going in up at the rim? 17 times - that's how many.
Next game: Tuesday against Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City, ummm, Thunder? They're relatively new, I'm not too sure...Still shocked there is an NBA team in Oklahoma City, but glad because I am thinking West Palm could be next.
---------------------------
1) Well, that was bizarre...Miami came out against a horrendous 0-9 Nets team at home, dialed up the intensity to approximately zero, got one basket from Dwyane Wade in the entire second half...and won. Now 7-2, albeit against a soft schedule, with a lot of home games in there...It's tough times for these Nets, who were bad last year, traded their best player, Vince Carter, in the offseason, and are now playing with half their roster injured. Even I felt bad for them tonight, because they played hard, and should have won. Okay, I didn't feel bad. But they should have won.
2) Dwyane Wade's one second half basket? A game-winning three off an inbounds pass, down 2, with 4 seconds to go when the play began. Wade received the ball, took a step back, making it obvious he was going to try to line up a three to win instead of driving for a tie, bobbled the ball, picked it up off the floor, and drilled it with Net defender Trenton Hassell up in his airspace. .1 seconds left on the clock - ballgame. DWade was passive most of the second half as the Nets trapped him at every opportunity, and he was a willing passer, but mostly took the night off. If you can't take a night off against the Nets, when are you going to get any rest? Filled the stat line with 8 rebounds, 6 steals, 6 assists, and 2 blocks to go with his 22 points.
3) DWade's shot never would have been possible without an even more unlikely three pointer a couple of possessions earlier, a pivot-and-fake-three-times-without-moving-the-defender-oops-the-shot-clock-is-running-down-so-I-had-better-heave-it-up-there...and bank it in off the glass to tie the game by...who else - The President, Quentin Richardson. Q made 3-4 triples for 13 points, quite an explosion considering he hadn't scored a basket in two games. Also made the decisive inbounds pass to Wade - showing Coach Spo's confidence in his decision making - and looked like the happiest person in the building when Wade's three ended the game. He was the first person downcourt to leap-bump Wade - he is always the first person to Wade to congratulate him on anything. Hey, they are long-time friends, but Q's no dope - keep the superstar happy. Also, good moment in the post-game interview with Q when he referred to Nets second year player Chris Douglas-Roberts as "Douglas Robertson." Twice.
4) Okay, so our man Plumber - the biggest Nets fan we know...okay, the only Nets fan we know...okay, the only Nets fan - hates Nets coach Lawrence Frank with the intensity of a thousand suns. He has an absolute passion for breaking down every Frank move like a Christian fundamentalist taking apart the Qu-ran. Our take on L.Frank - at least on this night: mixed. Defensively, the Nets were great, they junked up their defenses by mixing zone with man-to-man, and containment presses to milk the Heat's shot clock on almost every possession. When you are undermanned like the Nets, you want as few possessions as possible in the game. They crowded Wade, and made him give the ball up. They are tough to play against because no other team in the league plays as much zone. While it isn't a recipe for long-term success, it does give them a chance to win. Offensively, not so great. Brooks Lopez, the tall, tall second year Nets center, looked great on postups all night long. Jermaine O'Neal missed the game with a bruised hip, so Lopez was guarded most of the night by Udonis Haslem and Joel Anthony - neither is more than 6'8", and Lopez was very successful inside against them. But he posted up so infrequently - he spent the majority of his night on the perimeter 20 feet from the basket. He is a nice shooter - but he's 7'2". Get him down in the post, make Miami double team him, let him kick out to shooters - let him make the other players on his team better. He ended up 8-18 from the floor, and I would guess he has 4 or 5 baskets right around the rim, which means he was like 3-13 from everywhere else. It didn't look like a well thought out offense. And they only scored 80 with Jermaino - Miami's best defender - out, so you know...
5) Udonis Haslem, out of his mind again. 28 points, 12 rebounds. 28 points tied a career high, set against...well, the New Jersey Nets. Miami native UD also pointed out after the game that although the Triple A arena is Dwyane's house, "it's my town." Love that UD.
6) Faither's not going to like this, but Mike Beasley: 3-17. How many times can one person receive a pass, dribble in to the paint where all the tall guys are, get a little off-balance and out of control, and twist some ridiculous shot with a minimal chance of going in up at the rim? 17 times - that's how many.
Next game: Tuesday against Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City, ummm, Thunder? They're relatively new, I'm not too sure...Still shocked there is an NBA team in Oklahoma City, but glad because I am thinking West Palm could be next.
---------------------------
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