6 Thoughts
1) It was inevitable that the Heat were going to win a home game again at some point. Now 7-7 at home, 12-11 on the season. Peer group win: Miami, somehow, still sits in fifth place in the somewhat brutal second tier of the Eastern Conference, while Toronto at 11-16, is still a playoff team at eighth. It is very, very late - went to a Christmas party this evening which ran long, and watched the game on Tivo. Had somewhere between four and eleven rum and cokes at the party, and I'm arguably still drunk. By the way, I drove home - not sure that was a good choice.
2) Okay, Mario Chalmers, we're taking away your nickname "Emcee" and replacing it with "Redz," after Cavaliers guard Delonte West. Earlier this season, the "real" Redz was suspended for what his coach, Mike Brown, termed "a failure to reach a base level of accountability." Also, for filling a guitar case with guns, and engaging in a high speed chase with the po-lice on a three-wheel motorcycle. By comparison, Mario's tardiness to pre-game shootaround seems tame by comparison, but Coach Spo still did not allow him to start, the first time in 105 career games the "new" Redz has come off the bench. Let's hope he drove home slowly, sans any musical instrument cases...
3) Mike Beasley led the way with an easy 28 points and 11 rebounds. Part of this success was due to Mike being focused, and making good decisions, although to be fair, part of it has to be attributed to the Raptors front line of Bosh, Bargnani, and Hedo Turkoglu, who, collectively, displayed the defensive athleticism and physicality of the Jonas Brothers. Man, is that team bad defensively.
4) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino took his mother to the movies, as he often does, to see "The Blindside," starring Sandra Bullock as a petite and cute - though clearly on the far face of Sexy Mountain - white lady who rescues a large black man played by...who even knows, or cares? Let's just focus on how the white people are saving the black people - isn't that nice of them? What a feel-good holiday movie! Before you send me emails saying, "you're white-" I'm not white, I'm half-Jewish, and we aren't really trying to save anyone but ourselves...By the way, Tony and his mom? Two thumbs up. Of course - they're white!
5) Okay, game was kind of boring, so we are somewhat abandoning basketball here in the five hole, although this is still basketball-related. Sunday night, we had some leftover Thai food in the refrigerator. No one was going to eat it - M.Minutos generally treats leftovers like radioactive waste, and I don't really love Asian foodstuffs. So, I took the food and went outside to put it in the garbage can. As I passed under the basketball hoop on Antoine Walker Court in my frontyard, aka "The Pumpkin Patch," aka "The Patch," in a moment of inspiration, I suddenly sprung up in the air - okay, it was a more like a decent jump...okay, it was more like a long reach with a little hop at the end - and dunked the container of Pad Thai right through the 8 1/2 foot basket that O. and P. Minutos play on. Right through that mug! I mean, it may not sound like much, but how many times do you ever think a container of Pad Thai has been dunked through a basketball hoop? A half-dozen? At most? Now take out the times that Shaq has done it - now what's the number, one? Two? Big moment. Big, big moment. Had to scrape some Pad Thai off the driveway with the lid, which went flying, by the way, and, frankly, I'm hoping for some rain soon so that the court doesn't get too sticky. Although, I'm not sure that the man the court is named after, old 'Toine, wouldn't appreciate a little peanut sauce on his balls. So to speak...
6) Finally, little we have ever done on this stupid blog has ever triggered the reaction of the new smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff," by Teenage Middle-Age Rage (TMR). Many, many people wanted to know what the hell it was. Yes, it was about me. Many other people wrote in to say they loved it. One person wrote in to say that he wished it had words - buddy, it did have words, they just didn't start until over a minute in. By the way, I loved the long intro - the way I saw it, the long intro is the part when I am watching the Heat game on tv, then when the guitar riff starts, that's when I start writing the blog and the magic happens. And by "magic," yes, I mean the stupid stuff in here. Another person agreed with me that it was about time someone wrote a song about me - thanks, mom. Also, one person expressed disappointment that TMR hadn't written a song about her - believe me, I feel your consternation, look how many years I have been waiting. There were several requests for copies of the song - I don't know if there is anyway TMR can post that somewhere for people to download, but I think I might have a little special pull with them - I'll send them an email tomorrow, if they aren't reading this right now. Much thanks to them, by the way - you killed it. Finally, The Captain pointed out that it was two dudes singing about another dude - not that there is anything wrong with that, or, "considering it involved you, surprising!" Jeff Jeffrey Jeff!
