6 Thoughts
1) One win closer in this improbable playoff run. Now 37-32 after a win in Detroit, 13 games to go. At the start of the season I'd have bet anything we'd have 26 wins right now - only Dos reader Scott from Scotland had any faith in DWade and the boys. He should be writing this blog right now - he is both a better NBA prognosticator, and a better writer than me - that's depressing.
2) Wade - 39 more points, 6 assists, 2 steals (one a game changing breakaway dunk under 2 minutes to go), and 4 blocks. 2 blocks in the last two minutes. Detroit, down 1, with 6.9 seconds to go, with the ball, called timeout. Huddled up, considered their options, then decided that the best course of action was to clear out the top and let Rodney Stuckey go to work on that Wade guy. Bad, bad idea. For one possession, Wade is as good a perimeter defender as there is in basketball - he not only blocked Stuckey's shot, he saved the rebound, and falling out of bounds, found Udonis Haslem with a pass that effectively ended the game. Look, do anything you want on the last play - but don't go at Wade. Worth mentioning here that I have contended all year that former NBA scrub Michael Curry, installed by Detroit GM Joe Dumars in the offseason, seems nothing like a real coach...Also worth mentioning that earlier in the game, ABC play-by-play announcer Mike Breen said that Stuckey "reminds people of Wade in a lot of ways." "Name one," immediately challenged color commentator Jeff Van Gundy. "Well, they are the same body type," offered Breen. "I am the same body type as Allen Iverson," countered Van Gundy. "They are both black," M.Minutos pointed out. If you want to be the Wade, you have to beat the Wade...
3) Look, someone at Hacienda Dos claimed that if the struggling Udonis Haslem came out on the court out of a timeout instead of rookie scoring threat Mike Beasley for the Heat's last offensive possession, down one with 13 seconds to go, that that individual would literally take a dump in his pants. Does it really matter who it was? Let's all just be happy UD picked up a loose ball off a scramble and tossed it in for the game winning basket. Also, just because a person tends to express displeasure and frustration by threatening to take a dump in his pants definitely does not make someone a bad person, just a stinky one.
4) At halftime, ABC sideline reporter Lisa Salters corned injured Piston (and former Connecticut Husky) Rip Hamilton and asked him, "you are missing your fourth straight game with a strained groin - what does it feel like?" Rip couldn't resist a big smile...
5) ABC announcer Mike Breen recounted a story that he had flown across country sitting near Cameron Diaz. After landing, he asked her for an autograph for his daughter - apparently she is a big fan of crappy romantic comedies. She politely turned him down because she didn't want to have to sign autographs for everyone on the plane. "I turned off her movie in the hotel last night," said Van Gundy, supporting his partner. "She's a straight up bitch," asserted third broadcaster, and former Knick great, Mark Jackson. Disclaimer: Mark Jackson did not really say that, and I know it isn't funny to call a woman a bitch, that's why I did it, to point out how funny it isn't - don't email me.
6) A lot of people don't realize this, but I am an absolute fiend for the band Devo. Grew up worshipping them. It was, like - I was nerdy as a kid, but Devo made it cool to be nerdy; they were so ironic - like, "we are so nerdy, but we embrace our nerdiness and, therefore, we are cool." Are we not men? No, we are Devo!
In any case, they are back together and on tour, and this past weekend stopped down in Miami at Bayfront Park for a show. I went down there with my friends Johnny, Darrel, and Dallas. So we are enjoying the show, just rocking out hard to, like, Whip It, and their cover of Satisfaction, when a little static starts between this group of rich hipsters and my crew. The hipsters thought they were all cool, wearing expensive, well-tailored suits. They were probably club owners, or something. So anyways, a little pushing breaks out, and one of the hipsters threatens to take me out back behind the park and drown me in the bay, and Johnny, in a panic, pulls out his glock and kind of pumps one into the guy's stomach. Mayhem ensues - we go fleeing out of the park as the crowd also runs for cover. Outside, Dallas grabs Johnny and me and tells us to run up the street to the construction site where the old Miami Arena used to be, and to wait there for him until he texts us. So we bust up the street there, sneak inside, and hide out.
A day or two goes by. I go out to the convenience store and get some clippers and peroxide, and then we cut our hair low, and dye it blond. Finally, Dallas texts us that he is coming to bring us home - he shows up, but as we are walking to his car, there is, like, a fire in one of the Overtown tenement buildings and Johnny runs in and saves some kids, but gets mortally wounded. We put him in a hospital, then arrange for a big rumble with the hipsters in the abandoned Orange Bowl. The fight goes down - we win - but Johnny dies in the hospital. Dallas freaks out and gets shot by some cops. I go back to school. Quite a weekend, let me tell you...
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