6 Thoughts
1) The last time Miami won in Indiana, we still had the Twin Towers standing - that's all over, W! Miami grinds out a win in Indiana to get to 2-0, in a positively delightful homecoming for Jermaine O'Neal, who spent the eight most productive years of his career here...
2)...and he was awesome! Second straight game of 22 and 12 for Jermaino. Good looking first step, rebounding in traffic and winning 50-50 balls. The Heat don't need 22 and 12 from J.O. to win games - but on the nights they get it, they are going to be tough to beat. Throughout the pre-season skeptics worried about Jermaino's rebounding: non-existent last year, and still missing in the practice games. After the game with sideline reporter Jason Jackson, Jermaino acknowledged he had heard the critics, but was merely pacing himself: "One thing all veterans know is that the regular season is when the popcorn starts popping." Exactly.
3) It was a little sad when Udonis Haslem was relegated to the bench to start the season, in favor of Mike Beasley's development. But thus far, the slight reduction in UD's minutes seem to have energized him. He battled - battled - his way to 10 points and 10 boards in 29 minutes tonight. After years of playing big minutes against larger players, UD is coming in on the second unit energized and spry. He and Mike are a handful at that spot - Mike had an effort-laden 12 and 9 in 29 minutes of his own. That's a lot of production from the front line.
4) So all of a sudden, Miami is a little deeper than they looked heading in to the season. If J.O. stays upright for a while, everyone else slides down one spot, which makes it easier on them. Everyone except for Dwyane Wade, who shot 19 free throws on the way to 32 points. He's looking relaxed and happy to have help. Things can't stay this easy - let's keep that popcorn popping as long as possible, though.
Bonus look into life at Casa Dos: Just heard an insane rattling outside. Got my hurricane-ready flashlight, went and checked it out. Mangled mouse in the outside a.c. unit. Right on.
5) Alright, when you hire a pair of bike-riding daredevils as halftime entertainment for your NBA game, make sure both guys can land all their jumps. Start of the second half was delayed a good ten minutes while the janitorial crew in Indianapolis' Conseco Field House scraped some Dave Mirra wannabee off the floor after he under-rotated a back flip and augered in hard to center court. Looked like a dislocated shoulder, or a broken collarbone, or both. Jason Jackson showed the replay in his halftime "highlights." Unseemly.
6) Finally, we will get accused of being gayer than we already are, but the soundtrack from the new Twilight movie is really, really good. I swear I don't know anything about the Twilight movies, although Robert Pattinson is so much hotter than Taylor Lautner, obviously. The new soundtrack has cool bands like Band of Skulls, Muse, and Thom Yorke signing dark, poppy songs, mostly about the troubled contradictions hiding in the darkest chambers of our hearts. The best song on the album is "Monsters," by Hurricane Bells, a coy, fuzz-boxed, come-on to a girl containing a certain-to-be-ignored warning about the dangers of stepping into the singer's world. The album is a little edgy in a fun way, and is perfect for those late night, slightly-buzzed drives home when you debate whether to turn on to your street, or to try to find something a little more exciting to keep the night going. Or, if you want to have sex with the undead.
Next game Sunday vs. Chicago, first game of the season against a playoff team...
-----------------------
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Heat 115 Knicks 93
6 Thoughts
1) Okay, look, there are worse teams than the Knicks. There's Sacramento, there's Minnesota, there's...okay, there's Sacramento and Minnesota. So you need to pummel teams like this, especially at home. Miami did, with minimal effort - got up 30 five minutes into the third quarter, cruised in for an easy, easy win. You only get 3 or 4 of these a season. 1-0. 81 to go.
2) Big news of the day. All offseason, signs pointed to second year forward Mike "Supercool" Beasley being wedged in to the lineup out of position at small forward. However, turns out, no, Mike started at his natural power forward position, newly acquired Quentin Richardson (less 20 pounds from last year) started at the small forward, and long-time Miami warrior Udonis Haslem went to the bench. This lineup allows Mike to play his natural position, Quentin Richardson to start the game on the opponents best perimeter scorer so Dwyane Wade doesn't have to, while still allowing Udonis to play plenty of minutes as the first big off the bench. Worked great tonight: Supercool dropped a relaxed 21 on 9-14 shooting, and looked aggressive off the dribble; Udonis played 30 minutes off the bench and had 9 rebounds, and Q...well, he only played 17 minutes, knocked in a triple, was a minor irritant defensively. It's the correct lineup to try first. If it doesn't work, fine, but you had to try this first. Good job by Coach Spoelstra.
3) Jermaino! Granted, the Knicks offered no resistance whatsoever - they offered all the ferocity at the rim of the "don't tase me, dude" guy. Still, Jermaine was efficient with 22 points on 10-12 shooting, and 12 rebounds. Last season, 12 rebounds was a week and a half for him. Knees seem to be feeling better - no braces. Let's knock on wood.
4) DWade essentially had the night off, never even breaking a sweat easing his way to 26 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists. That's three 20 point games: Wade, Beasley and O'Neal.
5) Far as we can tell, the Knicks game plan seemed to be predicated on moving as little as possible. Defensively, any time a Heat player cut to another spot on the floor, the Knicks switched men, playing a de facto zone. Primarily this served to: 1) create all sorts of weird mismatches that Miami was able to exploit (Udonis Haslem left alone to post up Knick point guard Chris Duhon for an easy layup), and 2) open all sorts of lanes to the rim, since no Knicks ever moved three feet on a defensive possession. All this conserved energy really paid off on the offensive end where the Knicks usually played one below average point guard (either Duhon or Nate Robinson) and four semi-interested power forwards, eschewing the other three positions on the court, and tossed the ball around the perimeter waiting for someone to fling up a three. One of the semi-interested power forwards, second year Italian Danilo Gallinari took 14 shots - 13 triples - and made 7. Three things about this: 1) 7 of 13 threes is really good shooting; 2) I have never seen a guy shoot more threes in proportion to doing nothing else on the court. He didn't pass the ball, he didn't steal the ball, he didn't really rebound, he didn't try to set a screen, he didn't try to guard anyone. Really, he didn't even run. Impressive. 3) The rest of the Knicks made 3 out of 26 threes. So, you know, that's not too good.
6) Just a quick update on Jon Plus Eight, much heralded in this space, although it turned out a couple of our readers - shockingly - not that familiar with Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. Learned yesterday his last name is actually "Gosselin," not "Plus Eight." This might be racist, but I thought, since he was Asian, "Plus Eight" made sense. Like on tv how Chinese people might call someone "Eldest Brother," or "Esteemed Mother." You know, "Plus Eight." Even if his name is actually Gosselin, he's still super cool.
Next game: Friday at Indiana Pacers, normally a house of horrors for Miami. Let's hope the Knicks show up instead...
1) Okay, look, there are worse teams than the Knicks. There's Sacramento, there's Minnesota, there's...okay, there's Sacramento and Minnesota. So you need to pummel teams like this, especially at home. Miami did, with minimal effort - got up 30 five minutes into the third quarter, cruised in for an easy, easy win. You only get 3 or 4 of these a season. 1-0. 81 to go.
2) Big news of the day. All offseason, signs pointed to second year forward Mike "Supercool" Beasley being wedged in to the lineup out of position at small forward. However, turns out, no, Mike started at his natural power forward position, newly acquired Quentin Richardson (less 20 pounds from last year) started at the small forward, and long-time Miami warrior Udonis Haslem went to the bench. This lineup allows Mike to play his natural position, Quentin Richardson to start the game on the opponents best perimeter scorer so Dwyane Wade doesn't have to, while still allowing Udonis to play plenty of minutes as the first big off the bench. Worked great tonight: Supercool dropped a relaxed 21 on 9-14 shooting, and looked aggressive off the dribble; Udonis played 30 minutes off the bench and had 9 rebounds, and Q...well, he only played 17 minutes, knocked in a triple, was a minor irritant defensively. It's the correct lineup to try first. If it doesn't work, fine, but you had to try this first. Good job by Coach Spoelstra.
3) Jermaino! Granted, the Knicks offered no resistance whatsoever - they offered all the ferocity at the rim of the "don't tase me, dude" guy. Still, Jermaine was efficient with 22 points on 10-12 shooting, and 12 rebounds. Last season, 12 rebounds was a week and a half for him. Knees seem to be feeling better - no braces. Let's knock on wood.
4) DWade essentially had the night off, never even breaking a sweat easing his way to 26 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists. That's three 20 point games: Wade, Beasley and O'Neal.
5) Far as we can tell, the Knicks game plan seemed to be predicated on moving as little as possible. Defensively, any time a Heat player cut to another spot on the floor, the Knicks switched men, playing a de facto zone. Primarily this served to: 1) create all sorts of weird mismatches that Miami was able to exploit (Udonis Haslem left alone to post up Knick point guard Chris Duhon for an easy layup), and 2) open all sorts of lanes to the rim, since no Knicks ever moved three feet on a defensive possession. All this conserved energy really paid off on the offensive end where the Knicks usually played one below average point guard (either Duhon or Nate Robinson) and four semi-interested power forwards, eschewing the other three positions on the court, and tossed the ball around the perimeter waiting for someone to fling up a three. One of the semi-interested power forwards, second year Italian Danilo Gallinari took 14 shots - 13 triples - and made 7. Three things about this: 1) 7 of 13 threes is really good shooting; 2) I have never seen a guy shoot more threes in proportion to doing nothing else on the court. He didn't pass the ball, he didn't steal the ball, he didn't really rebound, he didn't try to set a screen, he didn't try to guard anyone. Really, he didn't even run. Impressive. 3) The rest of the Knicks made 3 out of 26 threes. So, you know, that's not too good.
6) Just a quick update on Jon Plus Eight, much heralded in this space, although it turned out a couple of our readers - shockingly - not that familiar with Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. Learned yesterday his last name is actually "Gosselin," not "Plus Eight." This might be racist, but I thought, since he was Asian, "Plus Eight" made sense. Like on tv how Chinese people might call someone "Eldest Brother," or "Esteemed Mother." You know, "Plus Eight." Even if his name is actually Gosselin, he's still super cool.
Next game: Friday at Indiana Pacers, normally a house of horrors for Miami. Let's hope the Knicks show up instead...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
2009-2010 Season Preview
Ole! We are back with our season preview for the 2009-2010 version of the Heat. If they strongly resemble the 2008--2009 version of the Heat, it is because they barely changed the roster at all. They got a little chunkier by adding rotund swingman, and former Brandy husband, Quentin Richardson, and a lot more sober by sending Mike Beasley to rehab, and trading Mark Blount to Minnesota. But...that's it - everyone else is pretty much the same. Miami is loading up on salary cap space for a big all or nothing summer in 2010. They have the cap room to re-sign Dwyane Wade, whose contract expires after the season, and two more big-time players to stick with him, Beasley, Chalmers and Cook, and try to become a contender. Of course, if the season goes poorly, Wade could decide to leave, and Miami would be left with...well, pretty much nothing. High stakes. Before we get to our season predictions, we asked a couple of other characters from this little show for their predictions. Here goes:
M.Minutos:
1) We will finally find out what happened to the guitar from Delonte West's guitar case.
2) When the Cavs don’t win the championship, Shaq will blame LeBron.
3) Dos will finally turn against Pat Riley.
Dos prediction about M.Minutos' season: A lot of third quarter dozing, followed by Dos waking her up to complain that Mike Beasley is settling for jumpers instead of going to the rim again when, as I have clearly stated before, nobody can handle him off the dribble.
The Plumber:
(all Nets related - in the highly unlikely event a few New Jersey Nets fans wander into this blog)
1) Lawrence Frank will be fired this year. This clearly falls within the
category of trying to wish something into reality, but I think the team is
not going to be very good (I'll get to that). I have to believe the
Brooklyn deal is going to go through (too many people would have put
themselves too far out, and if it wasn't going through, these people would
know it. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if David Stern controls the New York
Courts, and David Stern wants this deal to go through). If the Brooklyn
deal goes through, this guy didn't lay out ½ billion dollars to watch L.
Frank coach. My only concern is that the team is so bad, winning 20 games
will seem like a great coaching job.
2) The team will win 34 games. This actually seems like a lot, until you
remember how many terrible teams there are in the league. I put them at 34
and 48, in the lottery. If Dallas blows up, that gives them 2 lottery
picks.
3) The Nets hire (perhaps as a volunteer) a Russian assistant. They got
rid of a bunch of coaches, anyway, so there's room for one on the bench. It
will be a small role, but he'll be there.
Bonus Prediction) At the end of the season (or the day L. Frank gets fired, whichever comes first), Jarvis Hayes will have played more minutes than Devin Harris. This is a perfect combination of bad luck (Harris injury) and completely incompetent coaching by Frank (Hayes's minutes preventing other players
(CDR, TWilliams, Derek Lee) from developing and further making the season a
complete waste.
Dos Prediction about Plumber's Season: What? I dozed off...something about the Nets? Just kidding. I predict The Plumber will become disproportionately annoyed at a Dos Minutos post somewhere between four and seventy times during the season. The first time probably just happened. Somewhere between three and sixty-nine more to go. Let's get'er done...
Thor:
1) I will finally be recognized for the Shot of the Century by the retirement of my jersey number in every stadium and every team globally.
2) Shaq will become increasingly incomprehensible as he replaces every second word with one prefixed with Shaq and begins to sound more and more like a baritone Smurf. In a related prediction, he will also come out with a book titled, Chicken Shaq for the Soul.
3) Andrew Bogut will kill an Australian journalist who compares him to Luke Longley for the 19th million time, even though he’s a billion times quicker and has way better touch. In the parlance of Dos, I say this with love, Luke, who is a personal friend and a generally great human being.
Dos prediction for Thor's season: I'm just surprised he knows who Shaq is, since he doesn't play Aussie rules football, or swim...
The Captain:
1) NY Giants win Super Bowl XLIV.
2) NY Knickerbockers don’t win the NBA Championship.
3) Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers get caught smoking hydroponically grown Opalocka Crippy with 2 transvestite hookers on South Beach.
Predictions 1 and 2 are speculative. Number 3 I’m sure of.
Dos Predictions on The Captain's season: May go into cardiogenic shock if the new health bill is passed with a strong public option.
Finally, a good, good friend of Dos Minutos, former University of Michigan Fab Fiver, and NBA star, Jalen Rose:
1) The team hasn't created an identity yet.
2) Having only two players signed beyond this year leaves you with 13 guys in the locker-room that understand this could be their last season with Miami. That insecurity hangs over the team.
3) The roster staying the same means they're not even in the second tier of Eastern Conference teams in my eyes.
Dos Predictions about Jalen's season: He kind of has a point, or three.
Alright, we'll do this Six Thoughts style, then finish up with our predictions for the whole league. Just to recap, last year we had Cleveland over the Lakers, so if you take out the part where Orlando beat Cleveland, and then that the Lakers won, we were right there.
Six Thoughts
1) To recap, Miami was 43-39 last year, was the fifth seed in the East, and lost in the first round in a seventh game to Atlanta. For a team almost no one projected to make the playoffs, it was a great season. Last year's goal was to at least be reasonably competitive - anything else and the chances Dwyane Wade would begin to think about leaving after this season increase. This year the goal is the same. Beasley, Chalmers, and Cook need to prove they are pieces of the puzzle, and Wade needs to be reasonably happy and commit to re-signing when the season ends. That will allow them to spend the cap room they have been hoarding for two season on two or more players, and hopefully give them one more run at championship level basketball while Dwyane Wade is still ambulatory. A disastrous season - team loses 50 games while Beasley wanders around the perimeter waiting for games to end so he can get his smoke on - and Wade leaves. That's the effective end of the franchise...at least until they sign Chris Paul out of basketball purgatory in New Orleans a year or two down the road. Let's not even think about that...
2) Bringing back the same team in the NBA almost never works. I never imagined myself saying this, but Jalen Rose is right. Players get sick of each other and the coaches, and other teams improve while you stand pat. Miami couldn't improve without eating in to their summer of 2010 cap space. Plus, any deal they could have swung would included Miami including Beasley and/or Chalmers as part of the package. Because those two guys are on rookie wage scale for a couple more years, they are disproportionately valuable because having them on the team preserves additional cap room for the summer. Miami is trying to sign Wade, and two other guys, and retain Beasley and Chalmers, and hope Toronto misses the playoffs, since Miami holds their draft pick. It is all or nothing, death or glory, George Clooney or Gerard Butler. It is high stakes - they have a plan, but it's high stakes.
3) I think spending a month in rehab over the summer was probably good for Mike Beasley and the Heat. Everyone assumed he was high anyways. On a serious note, though, we all need to deal with our issues in life - Mike has 60 million dollars riding on his next contract a couple of years from now. If someone got that through his head in the rehab center, when he's still only twenty, he is talented enough to be a tremendous NBA player. He seemed...not serious enough at times last year. He's got another chance - it will be intriguing to see what he does with it. It is easy to forget, he was 19 last year, averaged 14 points and 5.5 rebounds a game in just under 25 minutes, and shot 40% on 3's. He is also ambidextrous, and no power forward can stay in front of him off the dribble. He is super-talented.
4) Wade was incredibly healthy last year. He played 79 games, and sat out 2 on purpose at the end when the playoff spot was clinched. That is unlikely to happen again. Jermaine O'Neal is 31, but has the knees of a 51 year old. He played 68 games last year, which seems about right. They need Wade to play 75 games, and Jermaino to play 65 to make the playoffs. Wade misses more than 7 or 8 games - Jesus, I don't think they can win a game he doesn't play in, unless Beasley morphs into Oscar Robertson, or Dick Bavetta is refereeing and mistakenly thinks Miami is the Knicks. Which, at his age, is possible.
5) If the season starts turning sour, I imagine the Heat will try to go get someone to help Wade, rather than hoping he will re-sign after a dreadful season. Beasley has to play well for them to do this, because he would be the centerpiece of any package Miami can put together. Also essential: Toronto playing poorly, because Miami holds their first round draft pick this year from last year's Jermaino trade, which would also make an attractive trading chip. Most likely targets: Carlos Boozer and Amare Stoudamire.
6) Predicting health is silly, so I am going to assume Wade stays relatively healthy, and Jermaino plays around 65 or 70 games. I mean, if Cleveland loses LeBron for a long stretch, that's not going to a picnic up there, either. I think Miami's most likely scenario is: Wade plays great; Beasley scores a lot, 18 points a game, but still struggles with decision making on and off the court; Chalmers struggles mightily in his second year, and looks like a career backup; Jermaino anchors a solid defense, but struggles to finish plays inside, and settles for a lot of bad, contested turnaround jumpers; Coach Spoelstra starts going gray; Beasley, Haslem's expiring contract, and Toronto's draft pick are involved in approximately four thousand trade rumors - a week. In the end, the Heat struggle - say 35-47, miss the playoffs, and have to sweat out the Wade decision over the summer. We'll monitor that as the season goes on - it's a fluid situation - but for now let's set the odds on Wade's residence for the 2010-2011 season at: Miami - 80%; Chicago - 15%, Knicks - 5%.
Eastern Conference playoff teams, in order of finish:
Orlando
Cleveland
Boston
Atlanta
Chicago
Washington
Detroit
Philadelphia
Orlando over Chicago
Cleveland over Boston
Cleveland over Orlando
Cleveland over Lakers in the Finals - I am picking LeBon every year until he wins. Bonus pick - Delonte West leads the parade on his three wheel motorcycle...
MVP: LeBron, again
See you Wednesday night: No better way to start a season than against the New York Knickerbockers - Ole!
M.Minutos:
1) We will finally find out what happened to the guitar from Delonte West's guitar case.
2) When the Cavs don’t win the championship, Shaq will blame LeBron.
3) Dos will finally turn against Pat Riley.
Dos prediction about M.Minutos' season: A lot of third quarter dozing, followed by Dos waking her up to complain that Mike Beasley is settling for jumpers instead of going to the rim again when, as I have clearly stated before, nobody can handle him off the dribble.
The Plumber:
(all Nets related - in the highly unlikely event a few New Jersey Nets fans wander into this blog)
1) Lawrence Frank will be fired this year. This clearly falls within the
category of trying to wish something into reality, but I think the team is
not going to be very good (I'll get to that). I have to believe the
Brooklyn deal is going to go through (too many people would have put
themselves too far out, and if it wasn't going through, these people would
know it. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if David Stern controls the New York
Courts, and David Stern wants this deal to go through). If the Brooklyn
deal goes through, this guy didn't lay out ½ billion dollars to watch L.
Frank coach. My only concern is that the team is so bad, winning 20 games
will seem like a great coaching job.
2) The team will win 34 games. This actually seems like a lot, until you
remember how many terrible teams there are in the league. I put them at 34
and 48, in the lottery. If Dallas blows up, that gives them 2 lottery
picks.
3) The Nets hire (perhaps as a volunteer) a Russian assistant. They got
rid of a bunch of coaches, anyway, so there's room for one on the bench. It
will be a small role, but he'll be there.
Bonus Prediction) At the end of the season (or the day L. Frank gets fired, whichever comes first), Jarvis Hayes will have played more minutes than Devin Harris. This is a perfect combination of bad luck (Harris injury) and completely incompetent coaching by Frank (Hayes's minutes preventing other players
(CDR, TWilliams, Derek Lee) from developing and further making the season a
complete waste.
Dos Prediction about Plumber's Season: What? I dozed off...something about the Nets? Just kidding. I predict The Plumber will become disproportionately annoyed at a Dos Minutos post somewhere between four and seventy times during the season. The first time probably just happened. Somewhere between three and sixty-nine more to go. Let's get'er done...
Thor:
1) I will finally be recognized for the Shot of the Century by the retirement of my jersey number in every stadium and every team globally.
2) Shaq will become increasingly incomprehensible as he replaces every second word with one prefixed with Shaq and begins to sound more and more like a baritone Smurf. In a related prediction, he will also come out with a book titled, Chicken Shaq for the Soul.
3) Andrew Bogut will kill an Australian journalist who compares him to Luke Longley for the 19th million time, even though he’s a billion times quicker and has way better touch. In the parlance of Dos, I say this with love, Luke, who is a personal friend and a generally great human being.
Dos prediction for Thor's season: I'm just surprised he knows who Shaq is, since he doesn't play Aussie rules football, or swim...
The Captain:
1) NY Giants win Super Bowl XLIV.
2) NY Knickerbockers don’t win the NBA Championship.
3) Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers get caught smoking hydroponically grown Opalocka Crippy with 2 transvestite hookers on South Beach.
Predictions 1 and 2 are speculative. Number 3 I’m sure of.
Dos Predictions on The Captain's season: May go into cardiogenic shock if the new health bill is passed with a strong public option.
Finally, a good, good friend of Dos Minutos, former University of Michigan Fab Fiver, and NBA star, Jalen Rose:
1) The team hasn't created an identity yet.
2) Having only two players signed beyond this year leaves you with 13 guys in the locker-room that understand this could be their last season with Miami. That insecurity hangs over the team.
3) The roster staying the same means they're not even in the second tier of Eastern Conference teams in my eyes.
Dos Predictions about Jalen's season: He kind of has a point, or three.
Alright, we'll do this Six Thoughts style, then finish up with our predictions for the whole league. Just to recap, last year we had Cleveland over the Lakers, so if you take out the part where Orlando beat Cleveland, and then that the Lakers won, we were right there.
Six Thoughts
1) To recap, Miami was 43-39 last year, was the fifth seed in the East, and lost in the first round in a seventh game to Atlanta. For a team almost no one projected to make the playoffs, it was a great season. Last year's goal was to at least be reasonably competitive - anything else and the chances Dwyane Wade would begin to think about leaving after this season increase. This year the goal is the same. Beasley, Chalmers, and Cook need to prove they are pieces of the puzzle, and Wade needs to be reasonably happy and commit to re-signing when the season ends. That will allow them to spend the cap room they have been hoarding for two season on two or more players, and hopefully give them one more run at championship level basketball while Dwyane Wade is still ambulatory. A disastrous season - team loses 50 games while Beasley wanders around the perimeter waiting for games to end so he can get his smoke on - and Wade leaves. That's the effective end of the franchise...at least until they sign Chris Paul out of basketball purgatory in New Orleans a year or two down the road. Let's not even think about that...
2) Bringing back the same team in the NBA almost never works. I never imagined myself saying this, but Jalen Rose is right. Players get sick of each other and the coaches, and other teams improve while you stand pat. Miami couldn't improve without eating in to their summer of 2010 cap space. Plus, any deal they could have swung would included Miami including Beasley and/or Chalmers as part of the package. Because those two guys are on rookie wage scale for a couple more years, they are disproportionately valuable because having them on the team preserves additional cap room for the summer. Miami is trying to sign Wade, and two other guys, and retain Beasley and Chalmers, and hope Toronto misses the playoffs, since Miami holds their draft pick. It is all or nothing, death or glory, George Clooney or Gerard Butler. It is high stakes - they have a plan, but it's high stakes.
3) I think spending a month in rehab over the summer was probably good for Mike Beasley and the Heat. Everyone assumed he was high anyways. On a serious note, though, we all need to deal with our issues in life - Mike has 60 million dollars riding on his next contract a couple of years from now. If someone got that through his head in the rehab center, when he's still only twenty, he is talented enough to be a tremendous NBA player. He seemed...not serious enough at times last year. He's got another chance - it will be intriguing to see what he does with it. It is easy to forget, he was 19 last year, averaged 14 points and 5.5 rebounds a game in just under 25 minutes, and shot 40% on 3's. He is also ambidextrous, and no power forward can stay in front of him off the dribble. He is super-talented.
4) Wade was incredibly healthy last year. He played 79 games, and sat out 2 on purpose at the end when the playoff spot was clinched. That is unlikely to happen again. Jermaine O'Neal is 31, but has the knees of a 51 year old. He played 68 games last year, which seems about right. They need Wade to play 75 games, and Jermaino to play 65 to make the playoffs. Wade misses more than 7 or 8 games - Jesus, I don't think they can win a game he doesn't play in, unless Beasley morphs into Oscar Robertson, or Dick Bavetta is refereeing and mistakenly thinks Miami is the Knicks. Which, at his age, is possible.
5) If the season starts turning sour, I imagine the Heat will try to go get someone to help Wade, rather than hoping he will re-sign after a dreadful season. Beasley has to play well for them to do this, because he would be the centerpiece of any package Miami can put together. Also essential: Toronto playing poorly, because Miami holds their first round draft pick this year from last year's Jermaino trade, which would also make an attractive trading chip. Most likely targets: Carlos Boozer and Amare Stoudamire.
6) Predicting health is silly, so I am going to assume Wade stays relatively healthy, and Jermaino plays around 65 or 70 games. I mean, if Cleveland loses LeBron for a long stretch, that's not going to a picnic up there, either. I think Miami's most likely scenario is: Wade plays great; Beasley scores a lot, 18 points a game, but still struggles with decision making on and off the court; Chalmers struggles mightily in his second year, and looks like a career backup; Jermaino anchors a solid defense, but struggles to finish plays inside, and settles for a lot of bad, contested turnaround jumpers; Coach Spoelstra starts going gray; Beasley, Haslem's expiring contract, and Toronto's draft pick are involved in approximately four thousand trade rumors - a week. In the end, the Heat struggle - say 35-47, miss the playoffs, and have to sweat out the Wade decision over the summer. We'll monitor that as the season goes on - it's a fluid situation - but for now let's set the odds on Wade's residence for the 2010-2011 season at: Miami - 80%; Chicago - 15%, Knicks - 5%.
Eastern Conference playoff teams, in order of finish:
Orlando
Cleveland
Boston
Atlanta
Chicago
Washington
Detroit
Philadelphia
Orlando over Chicago
Cleveland over Boston
Cleveland over Orlando
Cleveland over Lakers in the Finals - I am picking LeBon every year until he wins. Bonus pick - Delonte West leads the parade on his three wheel motorcycle...
MVP: LeBron, again
See you Wednesday night: No better way to start a season than against the New York Knickerbockers - Ole!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Summer of 2009 - Review
Okay, we're back. So a lot of people asked me all summer long, and even more so recently with basketball getting ready to begin, "Hey, what ever happened to your gay, little blog?" Good question. What ever happened to your gay, little whatever-you-do? (...Quick warning - this might be the year we totally turn on our readers...)
In any case, it is a fair question. We wanted to do a regular summer podcast with Our Main Man Thor, but, as you are about to read, we got a little sidetracked. Here's the plan: today we are going to tell you what we here at Dos Minutos did all summer, then we are going to bounce back on Monday with our NBA season preview, including some of our readers' thoughts, then get right back in to our regular post-game format.
Technical note: we are also working on changing up our delivery system somewhat, because we have obtained too many subscribers, somehow. So some people are going to get emailed a link to the day's post; others are still going to receive an email with content; we are also probably going to go Twitter on you at some point. I am sure there will be a lot of technical difficulties along the way...Now, without no further ado, I present to you: "Dos Minutos Summer of 2009!"
So, there was this one night over the summer...look, we were hanging out with some new friends, Mike Beasley was there, he is a big fan of the blog, and we're drinking, and doing other stuff, and then he looks at me, and I look at him, and he's like, "Are you thinking what I am thinking?" And I'm like, "For sure!" In retrospect, I don't know...
So, Mike had to go to Houston to do a month in rehab - he's back now, better than ever, and ready for the '09-'010 season. While Mike was away, here is some of the stuff we were doing and thinking about at Dos Minutos National Headquarters:
Jon and Kate Plus Eight: We are all about Jon at Dos. Love him. Trashy, undereducated white women who talk too much are a dime a dozen. But mean Asian dudes? Rare find. We haven’t had an Asian villain this good since Pol Pot.
Obama Winning the Nobel Peace Prize: Initially we at Dos were of the opinion that no one knows anything about this award, has any idea of who has won it, and that there wasn’t a person alive qualified to form an actual informed opinion about whether or not this was a good selection…except, you know who does know something about the Nobel Peace Prize? That’s right – El Capitan , back and in mid-season form: “Of course I know about the Nobel Peace Prize. You should try reading a newspaper once in a while. It is given by a group of Finnish guys who live in Scandinavia and don’t do anything else at all except vote on this dumb award. The money for it was given by a guy named Nobel, I guess – now the prize money that the winners get is just interest on the principle from the initial gift. Past winners include Henry Kissinger, Mother Theresa, and Yassir Arafat, which only goes to show that Obama isn’t the absolute worst guy ever to win. Although, it is probably fair to assume that even Arafat did something…”
Swine Flu: No opinion.
Drinking John Dalys: That is, adding vodka to the traditional “Arnold Palmer” (one part ice tea, one part lemonade). Yes, this is good. By the way, though, drinking a couple, or eight, too many JDs can lead to some really, really dubious decision making, especially in the area of permanent body art.
The Wire: Now we are getting somewhere. Spent the first part of the summer watching every episode of the greatest tv show ever made. It is sixty hours of television - at Casa Dos we watched it in about three weeks! One of my proudest achievements! And the best tv show ever!
The Road: Put off reading this for a year or two, because I knew it was going to be tough. One of the most brutal, yet greatest, novels of the past fifty years, soon to be released as a crappy movie starring…Not even going to tell you who, actually. Read the book quick, before you see any previews and ruin the experience. For our less erudite readers (honestly, most of them): it is by Cormac McCarthy
Sarah Palin resigning as governor of Alaska : Wait – Sarah Palin was the governor of a state? Kate Plus Eight wasn’t available? Jesus…
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: After we finished watching The Wire, spent the second half of the summer watching this movie over and over. Mila Kunis – yes, we are in favor of her, she is currently "Miss Dos Minutos."
Gerard Butler: Douche. Starred in the gayest movie of all-time, The 300, now trying to recreate himself as a straight romantic comedy leading man. We aren’t buying it, and you seem like a huge douche, Gerard. And, yes, I am factoring in that I love Scotland …
Pitchfork.com: Alternative music website. Spent a lot of time on it, trying to figure out what bands it is cool to like. Spent the summer listening to: MGMT, Phoenix, The Virgins, Beirut, Deerhunter, and, from the oldest of schools, The Faces’ Greatest Hits.
TV Show Pitch: "CSI: Quarterback." We tentatively have Troy Aikman and Dan Marino attached to the project.
Book Pitch: "Red Like Me." I bronze myself reddish-brown, like an American Indian, and go underground to write an expose of the reservation gaming industry.
Double Names: We have really been following the Afghan election super-closely. Incumbent Hamid Karzai is in a run-off against challenger Abdullah Abdullah. I pointed out to El Capitan that for me, the double name is an automatic vote - I am pulling the lever for Abdullah Abdullah every time. But, we realized, it doesn't work in America. Like, a guy named John Johnson - I am going to think there is absolutely something wrong with that guy, just on general principle. I wonder how they feel in Afghanistan, and if this will help turn the election one way or the other.
Finally, a not-too-happy-true-life-incident from the summer:
So Thor, Rick, and I are sitting around Thor’s backyard one Sunday drinking John Dalys. It’s hot, the JDs are going down smooth…the only thing we are missing to make the day complete is Jamie, off getting engaged or something. So, like every Sunday, at some point Rick and I look at each other and we just know that, yes, it is time to go get milkshakes. So the three of us walk slowly around the corner from Thor’s house to the very excellent ice cream shop named, I don’t know, Jackson’s? There is a decent crowd at the takeout window, like always, so we wait a few minutes. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for Rick announcing that he is going to get chocolate. I mean, it is Florida , it’s August, it’s a hundred degrees – seems like vanilla is the call. But, like, whatever. So we get up to the front of the line, finally, and I order three milkshakes from the guy in the window – two vanilla, and one chocolate. Suddenly, a female voice from behind, with a thick Latina accent, hisses: “you’ve got to be kidding me.” So I turn around, and I’m like, “what?” And this young, hot Latina woman is just staring me down with the stink eye, and the only thing I can think of is the chocolate, so I’m like, “I know, it isn’t for me, I got a vanilla,” and she just spits out, with bilious venom, “we are all standing out here in the broiling heat and we have to wait while you three a-holes order milkshakes? They take like five times as long to make as a cone…” So I look over at Thor and Rick – Thor has pretty much retreated to the other end of the parking lot, and Rick now has his chocolate shake, and is sipping away contentedly. So I shrug my shoulders apologetically, and turn back to the window, where, fortunately, the guy has just finished our last shake. I pay him, and just beat it out of there without looking over at the young woman again, but I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my back. I’m sweating, and a little uneasy. We walk back to Thor’s, enjoying our milkshakes, but all, I think, a little rattled by the experience…Fucking Sotomayor…
See you on Monday with our season preview.
In any case, it is a fair question. We wanted to do a regular summer podcast with Our Main Man Thor, but, as you are about to read, we got a little sidetracked. Here's the plan: today we are going to tell you what we here at Dos Minutos did all summer, then we are going to bounce back on Monday with our NBA season preview, including some of our readers' thoughts, then get right back in to our regular post-game format.
Technical note: we are also working on changing up our delivery system somewhat, because we have obtained too many subscribers, somehow. So some people are going to get emailed a link to the day's post; others are still going to receive an email with content; we are also probably going to go Twitter on you at some point. I am sure there will be a lot of technical difficulties along the way...Now, without no further ado, I present to you: "Dos Minutos Summer of 2009!"
So, there was this one night over the summer...look, we were hanging out with some new friends, Mike Beasley was there, he is a big fan of the blog, and we're drinking, and doing other stuff, and then he looks at me, and I look at him, and he's like, "Are you thinking what I am thinking?" And I'm like, "For sure!" In retrospect, I don't know...
So, Mike had to go to Houston to do a month in rehab - he's back now, better than ever, and ready for the '09-'010 season. While Mike was away, here is some of the stuff we were doing and thinking about at Dos Minutos National Headquarters:
Jon and Kate Plus Eight: We are all about Jon at Dos. Love him. Trashy, undereducated white women who talk too much are a dime a dozen. But mean Asian dudes? Rare find. We haven’t had an Asian villain this good since Pol Pot.
Obama Winning the Nobel Peace Prize: Initially we at Dos were of the opinion that no one knows anything about this award, has any idea of who has won it, and that there wasn’t a person alive qualified to form an actual informed opinion about whether or not this was a good selection…except, you know who does know something about the Nobel Peace Prize? That’s right – El Capitan , back and in mid-season form: “Of course I know about the Nobel Peace Prize. You should try reading a newspaper once in a while. It is given by a group of Finnish guys who live in Scandinavia and don’t do anything else at all except vote on this dumb award. The money for it was given by a guy named Nobel, I guess – now the prize money that the winners get is just interest on the principle from the initial gift. Past winners include Henry Kissinger, Mother Theresa, and Yassir Arafat, which only goes to show that Obama isn’t the absolute worst guy ever to win. Although, it is probably fair to assume that even Arafat did something…”
Swine Flu: No opinion.
Drinking John Dalys: That is, adding vodka to the traditional “Arnold Palmer” (one part ice tea, one part lemonade). Yes, this is good. By the way, though, drinking a couple, or eight, too many JDs can lead to some really, really dubious decision making, especially in the area of permanent body art.
The Wire: Now we are getting somewhere. Spent the first part of the summer watching every episode of the greatest tv show ever made. It is sixty hours of television - at Casa Dos we watched it in about three weeks! One of my proudest achievements! And the best tv show ever!
The Road: Put off reading this for a year or two, because I knew it was going to be tough. One of the most brutal, yet greatest, novels of the past fifty years, soon to be released as a crappy movie starring…Not even going to tell you who, actually. Read the book quick, before you see any previews and ruin the experience. For our less erudite readers (honestly, most of them): it is by Cormac McCarthy
Sarah Palin resigning as governor of Alaska : Wait – Sarah Palin was the governor of a state? Kate Plus Eight wasn’t available? Jesus…
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: After we finished watching The Wire, spent the second half of the summer watching this movie over and over. Mila Kunis – yes, we are in favor of her, she is currently "Miss Dos Minutos."
Gerard Butler: Douche. Starred in the gayest movie of all-time, The 300, now trying to recreate himself as a straight romantic comedy leading man. We aren’t buying it, and you seem like a huge douche, Gerard. And, yes, I am factoring in that I love Scotland …
Pitchfork.com: Alternative music website. Spent a lot of time on it, trying to figure out what bands it is cool to like. Spent the summer listening to: MGMT, Phoenix, The Virgins, Beirut, Deerhunter, and, from the oldest of schools, The Faces’ Greatest Hits.
TV Show Pitch: "CSI: Quarterback." We tentatively have Troy Aikman and Dan Marino attached to the project.
Book Pitch: "Red Like Me." I bronze myself reddish-brown, like an American Indian, and go underground to write an expose of the reservation gaming industry.
Double Names: We have really been following the Afghan election super-closely. Incumbent Hamid Karzai is in a run-off against challenger Abdullah Abdullah. I pointed out to El Capitan that for me, the double name is an automatic vote - I am pulling the lever for Abdullah Abdullah every time. But, we realized, it doesn't work in America. Like, a guy named John Johnson - I am going to think there is absolutely something wrong with that guy, just on general principle. I wonder how they feel in Afghanistan, and if this will help turn the election one way or the other.
Finally, a not-too-happy-true-life-incident from the summer:
So Thor, Rick, and I are sitting around Thor’s backyard one Sunday drinking John Dalys. It’s hot, the JDs are going down smooth…the only thing we are missing to make the day complete is Jamie, off getting engaged or something. So, like every Sunday, at some point Rick and I look at each other and we just know that, yes, it is time to go get milkshakes. So the three of us walk slowly around the corner from Thor’s house to the very excellent ice cream shop named, I don’t know, Jackson’s? There is a decent crowd at the takeout window, like always, so we wait a few minutes. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for Rick announcing that he is going to get chocolate. I mean, it is Florida , it’s August, it’s a hundred degrees – seems like vanilla is the call. But, like, whatever. So we get up to the front of the line, finally, and I order three milkshakes from the guy in the window – two vanilla, and one chocolate. Suddenly, a female voice from behind, with a thick Latina accent, hisses: “you’ve got to be kidding me.” So I turn around, and I’m like, “what?” And this young, hot Latina woman is just staring me down with the stink eye, and the only thing I can think of is the chocolate, so I’m like, “I know, it isn’t for me, I got a vanilla,” and she just spits out, with bilious venom, “we are all standing out here in the broiling heat and we have to wait while you three a-holes order milkshakes? They take like five times as long to make as a cone…” So I look over at Thor and Rick – Thor has pretty much retreated to the other end of the parking lot, and Rick now has his chocolate shake, and is sipping away contentedly. So I shrug my shoulders apologetically, and turn back to the window, where, fortunately, the guy has just finished our last shake. I pay him, and just beat it out of there without looking over at the young woman again, but I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my back. I’m sweating, and a little uneasy. We walk back to Thor’s, enjoying our milkshakes, but all, I think, a little rattled by the experience…Fucking Sotomayor…
See you on Monday with our season preview.
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