6 Thoughts
1) As we often say here, sometimes it's not "who," but "when." On the second night of a road back-to-back, on the "Depressing Midwestern Cities of America Tour," with Beasley out, Chalmers out, and Dwyane Wade hobbling with a bad back, Miami got down by 18 at half. To their credit, they battled in the second half and got it to 5 with a minute to go, but didn't have enough to finish. Dwyane doesn't have enough help right now - and tonight Dwyane wasn't even Dwyane. That's a tough combo for the Heat. They are now 24-23, and clinging to the eighth and final playoff spot in the East. Incredibly brutal road week upcoming - the toughest of the year, with trips to Cleveland and Boston...By the way, it's well after midnight, I'm exhausted, and still completely drunk from my trip earlier this evening to see a movie called Avatar - not sure if you've heard of it. Review down in #6. Let's do how we do.
2) Someone - I don't know who, but he is clearly a jackass - sits in the crowd in Milwaukee and blows a bullhorn, or maybe a Jewish shofar, repeatedly every time the opposing team has the ball on offense. Does it bother the players? I doubt it. Does it bother television viewers, and every other person in the arena? Most definitely. I'm not sure why they allow it - I'm not sure it's even legal. Halfway through the second quarter, M.Minutos and I noticed that he was rotating through about 5 different toot patterns, changing each time Miami had the ball - I guess you have to admire his persistence and creativity. Or something. M.Minutos is from Milwaukee, but she couldn't explain - figured it was probably a white person.
3) Andrew Bogut was fantastic, easily the best player in the game. He dominated the paint with 17 points, 15 rebounds, and 4 blocks. He is a longtime Dos Minutos favorite. We were even more excited to see old friend Jerry Stackhouse, though, back in the league with the Bucks after a prolonged early season absence due to, well, nobody wanting him. Here are the things Dos Minutos loves about Stack: long armed; when he was going bald, accepted it, but kept it low and neat, and always looked like he had a fresh trim; never scared to take a big shot; always has something to say after the game, and often times it is sour grapes - when Miami swept one of his Detroit teams in the playoffs, he asserted that the Pistons were still better; was on the Dallas team that Miami beat for the championship - probably thought they were still better; nobody - nobody - ever missed more corner threes where the ball just crashed into the triangle where the rim bracket meets the backboard; good, power game dunker; and, finally, former college teammate, and close personal friend of Mr. Rasheed Wallace! Captain - put Jerry Stackhouse on the "Our Guys" List.
4) Great new segment at halftime in which Heat players explain how they chose their uniform numbers. Tonight Jermaine O'Neal explained that he chose #7 when he went to Indiana at his brother's suggestion because it is a holy number in the Christian faith (unlike the pagan-esque 32 that another O'Neal wore here). Also asserted that when he played briefly in Toronto last year, and #7 was unavailable, that "people couldn't get used to me wearing #6." And by "people," I am pretty sure he means "Jermaine O'Neal."
5) It was our first look tonight at Bucks rookie point guard Brandon Jennings who took the league by storm by dropping 55 points in a game in his first month. He looked really quick; seemed to have a good idea of how to run an offense - loves to foray down to the baseline, distort the defense, and then spit it back out to shooters, a classic trick used by great point guards like Steve Nash and Gary Payton; scored 17 points on 13 shots; and had 5 assists. Really, really like his game. Even better: his hair. Classic high-top fade, but loose and casual. Has also been twisted up at times, and also tighter with the fade. Bringing back good black guy hair to the NBA!
6) Okay, big Avatar review! Saw it in downtown West Palm Beach at CityPlace, on the big Imax screen in 3D. Never even imagined that I would ever see it at all, but my neighbor Gary was going with his friend Barry and they invited me - would you pass up a chance to hang out with Gary and Barry? I didn't think so. Also, when I arrived at the theater, called my work buddy Brad who claims that I am too snotty to like any movie which contains either a car crash, or any shooting of any kind, and asked him to guess where I was. "In jail," he guessed, a little too hopefully. Couldn't convince him I was at Avatar...Full disclosure: my review of the film is surely affected, in what manner I'm not sure, by the fact that I smuggled in about 3 liters worth of mojitos, which I consumed before it was halfway over. With that in mind, here are my thoughts: Avatar, it turns out, has nothing at all to do with Titanic, which I also never saw - that was a big surprise to me; the actor who plays the main Avatar guy couldn't possibly be less charismatic, or have a worse American accent - I don't know where he is from, but why couldn't he just play a guy from wherever that is? It was disconcerting how bizarre he sounded; visually, the movie looked amazing, I don't know that the 3D added to it - at a certain point it became difficult to differentiate what was special effects and what was just the major, major buzz I had going - but the colors and shapes were spectacular; the plot and the dialogue were unbelievably banal and trite - I guess you need that if you want to sell a lot of tickets, but Holy God it was brutal - M.Minutos could have written that thing in twenty-five minutes during a Heat playoff game; NBC: No Bradley Cooper - I repeat, NO BRADLEY COOPER! That's just dumb; Gary, Barry, and I talked about it, and we all agreed - the blue alien girls? Not hot; it is super, super long - I think about 7 hours? I enjoyed the first two-thirds, even though it was incredibly stupid, but the last hour or so, I didn't care if the blue Indians won, or the white people won, I just wanted it over - by the way, spoiler alert - the blue Indians won, but I can guarantee you that since filming ended, the white people regrouped and obliterated every blue Indian off the face of that planet. You know why? Because that's how they do! Overall, I'll give it a 10 out of 10. Why not, people seem to love it, why should I be any different? Also, as I mentioned, I am way, way drunk...
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Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Heat 92 Pistons 65
6 Thoughts
1) Live, from Detroit: Welcome to 2004's Greatest Hits! Including all the classics, like: Jermaine O'Neal! Ben Wallace! Rip Hamilton! Rafer Alston! Jamal Magloire! Quentin Richardson! Tayshaun Prince! Chucky Atkins! First team to 70 wins!
2) Mike Beasley missed the game with a hyperextended right knee. Forty seconds in to the game, Jermaine O'Neal hyperextended his left knee and hobbled to the locker room. After his first quarter stint, Udonis Haslem put on his warmup jacket, and strapped a heating pack to his back with an athletic bandage large enough to wrap King Tut. Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade sat out the entire 2nd quarter with back spasms. While he was doing so, backcourt replacement Mario Chalmers severely sprained his thumb, played two possessions holding his left hand in his right - while dribbling - then sat out the balance of the game. First game of eleven out of thirteen on the road, struggling to maintain its place in the playoff standings, it looked like the Heat were going to take a bad loss, to a bad team, in a building filled with substantial bad memories for them...
3)...except for this: they went out and got it. It started on the defensive end with Rafer Alston. Skip locked down Piston Dwyane Wade-wannabee Rodney Stuckey (4 pts on 1-6). Then he locked down Piston leading scorer Richard Hamilton (8 pts on 4-14). Then he locked up notorious Heat killer Ben Gordon (10 points on 3-6). Then, for good measure, went back on Stuckey, rose up and viciously blocked his runner from behind, putting an exclamation point on one of the better defensive games any Heat perimeter player has played in a long time. His numbers didn't look great, or even good - 2 points and 7 assists - but Skip was the best player on the court tonight.
4) Dwyane Wade. Limited by back spasms. Played only the first and third quarters. Could. Only. Move. Like. This. Came. Out. In. The. Third. Quarter. Made. Three. Straight. Triples. Pushed. Heat. Lead. From. Eleven. To. Twenty. Ballgame. 22. Points. In. 24. Minutes.
5) There was a third quarter camera shot of a young tween watching the game in a Heat jersey. Eric Reid said he had met the kid before the game and the kid had told Eric that he was born and raised in Miami, but his dad had recently accepted a new job in Detroit, and moved the family there. !!! The kid said it had been a tough choice - his dad had also had significant offers from companies in Phnom Penh, Gaza City, and Kabul - but they had decided on Detroit due to cheap available housing, and the one-half of one percent chance that Rodney Stuckey might develop into a reasonable facsimile of Dwyane Wade, as the Piston organization has been claiming he will for years.
6) New segment: "Thor Ranks Actors." Today: the Ryans. Ryan Reynolds: "Can't stand him." Ryan Gosling: "He's okay, I guess. I don't think I ever saw The Notebook." Next time: old, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson vs. young, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson.
1) Live, from Detroit: Welcome to 2004's Greatest Hits! Including all the classics, like: Jermaine O'Neal! Ben Wallace! Rip Hamilton! Rafer Alston! Jamal Magloire! Quentin Richardson! Tayshaun Prince! Chucky Atkins! First team to 70 wins!
2) Mike Beasley missed the game with a hyperextended right knee. Forty seconds in to the game, Jermaine O'Neal hyperextended his left knee and hobbled to the locker room. After his first quarter stint, Udonis Haslem put on his warmup jacket, and strapped a heating pack to his back with an athletic bandage large enough to wrap King Tut. Meanwhile, Dwyane Wade sat out the entire 2nd quarter with back spasms. While he was doing so, backcourt replacement Mario Chalmers severely sprained his thumb, played two possessions holding his left hand in his right - while dribbling - then sat out the balance of the game. First game of eleven out of thirteen on the road, struggling to maintain its place in the playoff standings, it looked like the Heat were going to take a bad loss, to a bad team, in a building filled with substantial bad memories for them...
3)...except for this: they went out and got it. It started on the defensive end with Rafer Alston. Skip locked down Piston Dwyane Wade-wannabee Rodney Stuckey (4 pts on 1-6). Then he locked down Piston leading scorer Richard Hamilton (8 pts on 4-14). Then he locked up notorious Heat killer Ben Gordon (10 points on 3-6). Then, for good measure, went back on Stuckey, rose up and viciously blocked his runner from behind, putting an exclamation point on one of the better defensive games any Heat perimeter player has played in a long time. His numbers didn't look great, or even good - 2 points and 7 assists - but Skip was the best player on the court tonight.
4) Dwyane Wade. Limited by back spasms. Played only the first and third quarters. Could. Only. Move. Like. This. Came. Out. In. The. Third. Quarter. Made. Three. Straight. Triples. Pushed. Heat. Lead. From. Eleven. To. Twenty. Ballgame. 22. Points. In. 24. Minutes.
5) There was a third quarter camera shot of a young tween watching the game in a Heat jersey. Eric Reid said he had met the kid before the game and the kid had told Eric that he was born and raised in Miami, but his dad had recently accepted a new job in Detroit, and moved the family there. !!! The kid said it had been a tough choice - his dad had also had significant offers from companies in Phnom Penh, Gaza City, and Kabul - but they had decided on Detroit due to cheap available housing, and the one-half of one percent chance that Rodney Stuckey might develop into a reasonable facsimile of Dwyane Wade, as the Piston organization has been claiming he will for years.
6) New segment: "Thor Ranks Actors." Today: the Ryans. Ryan Reynolds: "Can't stand him." Ryan Gosling: "He's okay, I guess. I don't think I ever saw The Notebook." Next time: old, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson vs. young, anti-Semitic Mel Gibson.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Raptors 111 Heat 103
6 Thoughts
1) Ahhh, life on the NBA road - brutal! You have to be tough, tough, tough to get enough stops on the road to win, and Miami wasn't up to it tonight - Toronto shot 57% from the floor, and outrebounded Miami by 11. That was the ballgame right there. People who think NBA players don't play hard - damn, is that misguided. So, so hard to get stops on the road...Damaging loss - Miami slips behind Toronto into 6th place in the East...Special kudos to the whole city of Toronto, by the way: don't remember hearing Biggie's "Juicy" during an NBA game before. Love. It.
2) By the way, it is especially difficult to get stops on the road when the other team has a 7'0" long-armed Italian with a feathery touch and a series of crafty moves in the mid-post, and they keep tossing him the ball, and he turns around with it, surveys the court for about 7 seconds, then just raises the ball above his head, goes up on his tippy-toes, and strokes in a jumper, while Heat defenders waive their hands at him in vain. Damn you, Andreas Bargiani! He had 27 tonight, on 13-19. Could. Not. Be. Stopped. Did. Not. Touch. The. Net. Imp. Press. Ive.
3) Dwyane Wade is back into Ridiculous Dwyane Wade mode: 35 points and 10 assists tonight with approximately 3-5 Raptors guarding him at all times. Embarrassed by giving the game against Cleveland away on Monday, he killed himself trying to get the win - never came out in the second half, which was essential with Mike Beasley's injury - we'll get to that in a second. He's at 32 a game on 58% shooting over the last 4, with over 8 assists a game. That's absurd - 58%, and he's 6'4" at best. Someone please help Dwyane Wade...
4) His uncomfortable sidekick Mike Beasley got injured tonight. Like you, I felt like Mike Beasley was indestructible - or, at least, impervious to injury since he doesn't run fast enough or jump high enough to sustain any kind of significant damage on a basketball play. However, midway through the first quarter, on a rare set back-door alley-oop play for Beas, even slower-footed and more land-locked Raptor small forward Hedo Turkoglu stumbled into Supercool's back, crashing him to the floor, sort of. Again, neither was too high, or moving too fast, so "crash" is a relative term. Hyperextended knee - Mike tried to come back in the second quarter, but looked a little sore, and took the rest of the night off. Watching the Heat without Mike makes it easier to understand Mike's skills and value to the team. One gets the sense that the second unit might never score a basket without him on the court - it justifies Coach Spo's need to play him those minutes, even if it means sometimes sacrificing his minutes at the very end in favor of Udonis...In any case, let's hope Mike is a fast healer. He only missed one game last year, when he had flu-like symptoms, which he attributed to a lot of time spent with his dog, who may or may not have also had flu-like symptoms...
5) Speaking of Hedo Turkoglu - ugghh. 1-5 for 6 points and 4 rebounds in 31 minutes. Shooting a miserable 40% from the floor so far this year in his new home, and he's on the wrong side of 30. Luckily, Toronto only owes him forty million more over the next four years after this one. Oh my goodness. If they lose Bosh this offseason because they don't have the cap room to get him more help, and they are stuck with Hedo, that's probably not going to be a real good feeling.
6) People who know me know that, against all odds, flying in the face of all conventional logic, I love Tim Tebow! Sounds like he is supporting "my" side in the "parking in Amerika" issue.
"I know some people won't agree with it," said Tebow of the 30-second ad at a press conference in Mobile, Ala., on Sunday, in preparation for next weekend's Senior Bowl. "But I think they can at least respect that I stand up for what I believe. I've always been very convicted because that's the reason I'm here, because my mom was a very courageous woman."
Love that story - almost parable-esque. The Man tried to make his mom park somewhere, and she wasn't having it. I can respect that. He is talking about parking, right?
Okay, back Friday night with a game in Detroit, followed by a game Saturday in Milwaukee - yes, it is the "Crappy Cities in Amerika Weekend Tour!" and I hear they are especially lovely at this time of year. Kind of need to get those two. See you then...
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1) Ahhh, life on the NBA road - brutal! You have to be tough, tough, tough to get enough stops on the road to win, and Miami wasn't up to it tonight - Toronto shot 57% from the floor, and outrebounded Miami by 11. That was the ballgame right there. People who think NBA players don't play hard - damn, is that misguided. So, so hard to get stops on the road...Damaging loss - Miami slips behind Toronto into 6th place in the East...Special kudos to the whole city of Toronto, by the way: don't remember hearing Biggie's "Juicy" during an NBA game before. Love. It.
2) By the way, it is especially difficult to get stops on the road when the other team has a 7'0" long-armed Italian with a feathery touch and a series of crafty moves in the mid-post, and they keep tossing him the ball, and he turns around with it, surveys the court for about 7 seconds, then just raises the ball above his head, goes up on his tippy-toes, and strokes in a jumper, while Heat defenders waive their hands at him in vain. Damn you, Andreas Bargiani! He had 27 tonight, on 13-19. Could. Not. Be. Stopped. Did. Not. Touch. The. Net. Imp. Press. Ive.
3) Dwyane Wade is back into Ridiculous Dwyane Wade mode: 35 points and 10 assists tonight with approximately 3-5 Raptors guarding him at all times. Embarrassed by giving the game against Cleveland away on Monday, he killed himself trying to get the win - never came out in the second half, which was essential with Mike Beasley's injury - we'll get to that in a second. He's at 32 a game on 58% shooting over the last 4, with over 8 assists a game. That's absurd - 58%, and he's 6'4" at best. Someone please help Dwyane Wade...
4) His uncomfortable sidekick Mike Beasley got injured tonight. Like you, I felt like Mike Beasley was indestructible - or, at least, impervious to injury since he doesn't run fast enough or jump high enough to sustain any kind of significant damage on a basketball play. However, midway through the first quarter, on a rare set back-door alley-oop play for Beas, even slower-footed and more land-locked Raptor small forward Hedo Turkoglu stumbled into Supercool's back, crashing him to the floor, sort of. Again, neither was too high, or moving too fast, so "crash" is a relative term. Hyperextended knee - Mike tried to come back in the second quarter, but looked a little sore, and took the rest of the night off. Watching the Heat without Mike makes it easier to understand Mike's skills and value to the team. One gets the sense that the second unit might never score a basket without him on the court - it justifies Coach Spo's need to play him those minutes, even if it means sometimes sacrificing his minutes at the very end in favor of Udonis...In any case, let's hope Mike is a fast healer. He only missed one game last year, when he had flu-like symptoms, which he attributed to a lot of time spent with his dog, who may or may not have also had flu-like symptoms...
5) Speaking of Hedo Turkoglu - ugghh. 1-5 for 6 points and 4 rebounds in 31 minutes. Shooting a miserable 40% from the floor so far this year in his new home, and he's on the wrong side of 30. Luckily, Toronto only owes him forty million more over the next four years after this one. Oh my goodness. If they lose Bosh this offseason because they don't have the cap room to get him more help, and they are stuck with Hedo, that's probably not going to be a real good feeling.
6) People who know me know that, against all odds, flying in the face of all conventional logic, I love Tim Tebow! Sounds like he is supporting "my" side in the "parking in Amerika" issue.
"I know some people won't agree with it," said Tebow of the 30-second ad at a press conference in Mobile, Ala., on Sunday, in preparation for next weekend's Senior Bowl. "But I think they can at least respect that I stand up for what I believe. I've always been very convicted because that's the reason I'm here, because my mom was a very courageous woman."
Love that story - almost parable-esque. The Man tried to make his mom park somewhere, and she wasn't having it. I can respect that. He is talking about parking, right?
Okay, back Friday night with a game in Detroit, followed by a game Saturday in Milwaukee - yes, it is the "Crappy Cities in Amerika Weekend Tour!" and I hear they are especially lovely at this time of year. Kind of need to get those two. See you then...
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Monday, January 25, 2010
Cavs 92 Heat 91
6 Thoughts
1) Finally, after nine straight blowouts, a close game, and an eventful one. Tough, tough loss for the Heat, who controlled play most of the night, and saw Dwyane Wade kind of hand it away down the stretch. It is always a doozy when LeBron and Dwyane hook up, and tonight was no different - lots of crazy shenanigans all night long. Miami's record is now 23-21, with three huge games on the road this week: at Toronto, at Detroit, at Milwaukee. That's a classic Eastern Conference basketball week - have to go out and get it.
2) Okay, Dwyane Wade - what a bizarre night. He was incendiary in the first half, scoring 30 points, and traded long jumper after long jumper with his buddy LeBron in one surreal second quarter stretch. "Don't mess with me!" Wade screamed to the crowd after one three pointer - and the foul on old friend Jamario Moon. LeBron, as he tends to do, though, kept Cleveland around with 20 of his own in the second quarter. Four point halftime lead for the Heat, and then...I don't know what happened. Dwyane went cold - Cleveland blitzed him hard with double teams, but he has seen that before. He was active defensively and on the boards, getting a huge late stop guarding LeBron, and the ensuing rebound. But he couldn't make a shot - just one second half hoop. Also: missed two free throws with 40 seconds to go up one; after getting the defensive rebound on the aforementioned stop, came down the court, and with Cleveland opting to play defense despite being down one, with only a three second differential on the shot and game clock, started the Heat's final play too soon, threw a casual behind-the-back pass that LeBron intercepted, chased LeBron to the other end, whacked him in the head, and after LeBron's two free throws put the Cavs up one, settled for a fallaway 20 footer for the win, after not even coming close to making a jumper all half. Bad choices. We rarely criticize Coach Spo, but even as Wade was dribbling the clock down with 20 seconds to go, we were screaming for a timeout. Just make sure you get the clock all the way down - and let Wade pull one from over the top. At worst the Cavs get the ball down one with no more than 2 seconds to go. Late game breakdown. It's just one loss - but it was a tough one...
3) Well, old Shaq, we have to give it to the big guy, he had an eventful night. He finished plays around the rim, an impressive 9-13 - that was really good. He had 4 turnovers in only 27 minutes - that wasn't so good. Elbowed both Jermaine O'Neal and Joel Anthony in the head en route to scoring hoops - that was pretty good. He turned Jermaino into Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to start the game (14 first quarter points for J.O.) by providing all the defensive resistance of a mailbox - the big kind, like the ones at the post office - that was bad. Got a defensive three second call - felt like I had seen that before. Made several good passes leading to Cavs hoops - I have seen that often before, too. Had four fouls, most of them just reaching out and grabbing a guy dribbling past him with no apparent defensive plan - predictable. Also, during one stroll to the bench during a timeout, a closeup from the side revealed his man boobs just beginning to spill out of the side of his uniform - that was horrible! Overall, a good night for the big guy: scored 19, had 5 balls carom to him in his area for rebounds, and gave up maybe 30 on the other end by his general lack of defensive intensity. I still kind of love the big guy - but when they are playing the Heat, I feel waaaaay more comfortable with him on the court than Varejo...
4) Only fair to highlight the "other" O'Neal. This was Jermaino's first quarter: 14 points. One nifty behind the back pass to Rafer Alston for a triple. One time getting hit in the mouth by Shaq as he turned to score. One cut on his hand deterring a driver - had to go get patched up. Drew one questionable charging foul on LeBron James. One illegal defense call of his own - in his defense, it was the bogus kind, where his guy wasn't even down the court yet - damn you, Zach Zarba! One follow up tip dunk attempt in traffic (unsuccessful) over three defenders four seconds after the whistle had blown. Kept it generally under control, but he was one more Shaq hit in the mouth from going all "Tilt Jermaino" on us. All this, and he came out with over two minutes to go in the quarter! Jermaino was doin' it all!
5) M.Minutos is disturbed by a recent NBA trend she has been tracking. Noticed that Jerkwad Williams - wait, what? Oh, Jawad Williams, I must have misheard that - does not have a "J." in front of the "Williams" on his uniform. Disturbing to her because the Cavs have another Williams, Maurice Williams. This on the heels of her discovery that the Allen boys in Boston, Walter Ray and Tony, also do not have their first initials on their jerseys. Can't say for sure why this bothers her so much, all I can tell you is what she said: "Are we not doing that anymore? What is going on?"
6) The Captain wrote in with a comment about the post from the Sacramento game - by the way, it bears mentioning as always, he sits twelve feet away from me all day long, so I am available for conversating (very available)...Anyways, he cited this passage in the post:
"I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I have seen all 43 games so far this year, and except for a couple of late game booty calls at the end of blowouts..."
The Captain: Is it still called a booty call when it is performed sans participating partner? I'm curious?
Dos replies: What do you mean? Is there another way to do it?
See you Wednesday, against those NBA Without Borders Guys!
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1) Finally, after nine straight blowouts, a close game, and an eventful one. Tough, tough loss for the Heat, who controlled play most of the night, and saw Dwyane Wade kind of hand it away down the stretch. It is always a doozy when LeBron and Dwyane hook up, and tonight was no different - lots of crazy shenanigans all night long. Miami's record is now 23-21, with three huge games on the road this week: at Toronto, at Detroit, at Milwaukee. That's a classic Eastern Conference basketball week - have to go out and get it.
2) Okay, Dwyane Wade - what a bizarre night. He was incendiary in the first half, scoring 30 points, and traded long jumper after long jumper with his buddy LeBron in one surreal second quarter stretch. "Don't mess with me!" Wade screamed to the crowd after one three pointer - and the foul on old friend Jamario Moon. LeBron, as he tends to do, though, kept Cleveland around with 20 of his own in the second quarter. Four point halftime lead for the Heat, and then...I don't know what happened. Dwyane went cold - Cleveland blitzed him hard with double teams, but he has seen that before. He was active defensively and on the boards, getting a huge late stop guarding LeBron, and the ensuing rebound. But he couldn't make a shot - just one second half hoop. Also: missed two free throws with 40 seconds to go up one; after getting the defensive rebound on the aforementioned stop, came down the court, and with Cleveland opting to play defense despite being down one, with only a three second differential on the shot and game clock, started the Heat's final play too soon, threw a casual behind-the-back pass that LeBron intercepted, chased LeBron to the other end, whacked him in the head, and after LeBron's two free throws put the Cavs up one, settled for a fallaway 20 footer for the win, after not even coming close to making a jumper all half. Bad choices. We rarely criticize Coach Spo, but even as Wade was dribbling the clock down with 20 seconds to go, we were screaming for a timeout. Just make sure you get the clock all the way down - and let Wade pull one from over the top. At worst the Cavs get the ball down one with no more than 2 seconds to go. Late game breakdown. It's just one loss - but it was a tough one...
3) Well, old Shaq, we have to give it to the big guy, he had an eventful night. He finished plays around the rim, an impressive 9-13 - that was really good. He had 4 turnovers in only 27 minutes - that wasn't so good. Elbowed both Jermaine O'Neal and Joel Anthony in the head en route to scoring hoops - that was pretty good. He turned Jermaino into Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to start the game (14 first quarter points for J.O.) by providing all the defensive resistance of a mailbox - the big kind, like the ones at the post office - that was bad. Got a defensive three second call - felt like I had seen that before. Made several good passes leading to Cavs hoops - I have seen that often before, too. Had four fouls, most of them just reaching out and grabbing a guy dribbling past him with no apparent defensive plan - predictable. Also, during one stroll to the bench during a timeout, a closeup from the side revealed his man boobs just beginning to spill out of the side of his uniform - that was horrible! Overall, a good night for the big guy: scored 19, had 5 balls carom to him in his area for rebounds, and gave up maybe 30 on the other end by his general lack of defensive intensity. I still kind of love the big guy - but when they are playing the Heat, I feel waaaaay more comfortable with him on the court than Varejo...
4) Only fair to highlight the "other" O'Neal. This was Jermaino's first quarter: 14 points. One nifty behind the back pass to Rafer Alston for a triple. One time getting hit in the mouth by Shaq as he turned to score. One cut on his hand deterring a driver - had to go get patched up. Drew one questionable charging foul on LeBron James. One illegal defense call of his own - in his defense, it was the bogus kind, where his guy wasn't even down the court yet - damn you, Zach Zarba! One follow up tip dunk attempt in traffic (unsuccessful) over three defenders four seconds after the whistle had blown. Kept it generally under control, but he was one more Shaq hit in the mouth from going all "Tilt Jermaino" on us. All this, and he came out with over two minutes to go in the quarter! Jermaino was doin' it all!
5) M.Minutos is disturbed by a recent NBA trend she has been tracking. Noticed that Jerkwad Williams - wait, what? Oh, Jawad Williams, I must have misheard that - does not have a "J." in front of the "Williams" on his uniform. Disturbing to her because the Cavs have another Williams, Maurice Williams. This on the heels of her discovery that the Allen boys in Boston, Walter Ray and Tony, also do not have their first initials on their jerseys. Can't say for sure why this bothers her so much, all I can tell you is what she said: "Are we not doing that anymore? What is going on?"
6) The Captain wrote in with a comment about the post from the Sacramento game - by the way, it bears mentioning as always, he sits twelve feet away from me all day long, so I am available for conversating (very available)...Anyways, he cited this passage in the post:
"I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I have seen all 43 games so far this year, and except for a couple of late game booty calls at the end of blowouts..."
The Captain: Is it still called a booty call when it is performed sans participating partner? I'm curious?
Dos replies: What do you mean? Is there another way to do it?
See you Wednesday, against those NBA Without Borders Guys!
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Saturday, January 23, 2010
Heat 115 Kings 84
6 Thoughts
1) Ugh. Ninth straight non-competitive game: this one was over halfway through the second quarter. Miami finishes 4 games in 5 nights with 3 wins and 1 loss - 3 of the 4 thirty point or more spreads, and the other twenty-four points. Just a weird, weird stretch of the season.
2) For the second straight night Dwyane Wade was absolutely brilliant - he completely dominated the Kings for the three quarters he played. Electric to the rim, finishing with aggression, finding open shooters, wreaking havoc defensively. He finished with 27 points on 11-15 shooting, with 8 assists against 0 (ze-ro!) turnovers, 4 rebounds, 3 blocks (!), and a steal. His buddy LeBron is coming to town Monday night - looks like Dwyane is getting ready! It will be even better when LeBron comes down this summer...and never leaves, settling in to his destined role as DWade's sidekick!
3) Mike Beasley. Mike Beasley! Playing hard on defense, hustling after loose balls, stepping into passing lanes, denying post position, going to the boards with passion, taking the ball aggressively to the rim: energy! Love! It! The skills are always going to be there - 21 more points tonight - but also 13 rebounds, and 4 assists. Also, he played a good portion of the fourth quarter with the reserves and he was very unselfish about spreading the ball around, when he could have looked to pad his own numbers...That's how you be a good teammate. Love the decision making from Mike tonight, and the energy. Good job, kid!
4) M.Minutos on fire tonight - had a nap today, was fired up by game time. Started off by commenting that she missed Jason Jackson's glasses and goatee. I must be getting old because I only vaguely remember either. Harshly criticized my call for the need for a Sunsport Network ombudsman when Tony Fiorentino shamelessly plugged Jax's halftime interviews with the Heat assistant coaches - we know, Tony, we love them, too: don't abuse our trust. Topped it off by confusing Kings coach Paul Westphal, an old school NBA quality player in his day, with Jerry West, one of the greatest shooting guards of all-time, and the model for the familiar NBA logo - probably the reason that they call him "The Logo," come to think of it. Look, M.Minutos knows her basketball, but this was an unforgivable gaffe, and she knew it. Didn't even try to go to the "all old white guys look the same to me" defense, which, as a white guy, I appreciated. Just snapped at me: "don't put this in the blog."
5) I am outraged. Somehow Spencer Hawes, he of the Space Needle tie and yellow jacket, and co-star of the Stephen A. Smith NBA draft parody on youtube (), is no longer the starter at center for the Kings, replaced by beefy 6'7" rookie Jon Brockman from, ahhh, I'm not sure, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Adding insult to injury, Eric Reid reported that Kings coach Paul Westphal (not "The Logo") explained the change by saying that Brockman "plays with a toughness that our team needs." Uh-oh - I think I know what that means, Spencer Hawes. Further, when Hawes finally did check in, along with Ime Udoka, Reid announced that "Ime Udoka is now in the game for the Kings...and so is Spencer Hawes." This is Spencer Hawes we are talking about - Spencer Hawes! He is not a "so is Spencer Hawes." He is: "Checking in: Spencer Hawes!!!" Later, just to top off his night, Spencer, who by the way is 7' tall, had his dunk attempt blocked by Dwyane Wade, followed a few minutes later by having a layup attempt blocked by James Jones. Not a good night overall for Spencer Hawes. Spencer: let's take off the dumb shirt, stand up straight, and get to work, okay?
6) I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I have seen all 43 games so far this year, and except for a couple of late game booty calls at the end of blowouts, I think I have seen just about every minute. Last year I saw 79 out the 82 games, which broke my personal high of 77 set in the '96-'97 season. On a pace to shatter that, and I have definitely never seen 43 in a row before. I credit my parents, a lot work with the tivo controller in the off-season, and my burning desire to see Mike Beasley try to throw a defensive rebound the length of the court off the other backboard at some point this season...Celebrated with a vanilla Coke float: electric and creamy, like Dwyane Wade!
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1) Ugh. Ninth straight non-competitive game: this one was over halfway through the second quarter. Miami finishes 4 games in 5 nights with 3 wins and 1 loss - 3 of the 4 thirty point or more spreads, and the other twenty-four points. Just a weird, weird stretch of the season.
2) For the second straight night Dwyane Wade was absolutely brilliant - he completely dominated the Kings for the three quarters he played. Electric to the rim, finishing with aggression, finding open shooters, wreaking havoc defensively. He finished with 27 points on 11-15 shooting, with 8 assists against 0 (ze-ro!) turnovers, 4 rebounds, 3 blocks (!), and a steal. His buddy LeBron is coming to town Monday night - looks like Dwyane is getting ready! It will be even better when LeBron comes down this summer...and never leaves, settling in to his destined role as DWade's sidekick!
3) Mike Beasley. Mike Beasley! Playing hard on defense, hustling after loose balls, stepping into passing lanes, denying post position, going to the boards with passion, taking the ball aggressively to the rim: energy! Love! It! The skills are always going to be there - 21 more points tonight - but also 13 rebounds, and 4 assists. Also, he played a good portion of the fourth quarter with the reserves and he was very unselfish about spreading the ball around, when he could have looked to pad his own numbers...That's how you be a good teammate. Love the decision making from Mike tonight, and the energy. Good job, kid!
4) M.Minutos on fire tonight - had a nap today, was fired up by game time. Started off by commenting that she missed Jason Jackson's glasses and goatee. I must be getting old because I only vaguely remember either. Harshly criticized my call for the need for a Sunsport Network ombudsman when Tony Fiorentino shamelessly plugged Jax's halftime interviews with the Heat assistant coaches - we know, Tony, we love them, too: don't abuse our trust. Topped it off by confusing Kings coach Paul Westphal, an old school NBA quality player in his day, with Jerry West, one of the greatest shooting guards of all-time, and the model for the familiar NBA logo - probably the reason that they call him "The Logo," come to think of it. Look, M.Minutos knows her basketball, but this was an unforgivable gaffe, and she knew it. Didn't even try to go to the "all old white guys look the same to me" defense, which, as a white guy, I appreciated. Just snapped at me: "don't put this in the blog."
5) I am outraged. Somehow Spencer Hawes, he of the Space Needle tie and yellow jacket, and co-star of the Stephen A. Smith NBA draft parody on youtube (), is no longer the starter at center for the Kings, replaced by beefy 6'7" rookie Jon Brockman from, ahhh, I'm not sure, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Adding insult to injury, Eric Reid reported that Kings coach Paul Westphal (not "The Logo") explained the change by saying that Brockman "plays with a toughness that our team needs." Uh-oh - I think I know what that means, Spencer Hawes. Further, when Hawes finally did check in, along with Ime Udoka, Reid announced that "Ime Udoka is now in the game for the Kings...and so is Spencer Hawes." This is Spencer Hawes we are talking about - Spencer Hawes! He is not a "so is Spencer Hawes." He is: "Checking in: Spencer Hawes!!!" Later, just to top off his night, Spencer, who by the way is 7' tall, had his dunk attempt blocked by Dwyane Wade, followed a few minutes later by having a layup attempt blocked by James Jones. Not a good night overall for Spencer Hawes. Spencer: let's take off the dumb shirt, stand up straight, and get to work, okay?
6) I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I have seen all 43 games so far this year, and except for a couple of late game booty calls at the end of blowouts, I think I have seen just about every minute. Last year I saw 79 out the 82 games, which broke my personal high of 77 set in the '96-'97 season. On a pace to shatter that, and I have definitely never seen 43 in a row before. I credit my parents, a lot work with the tivo controller in the off-season, and my burning desire to see Mike Beasley try to throw a defensive rebound the length of the court off the other backboard at some point this season...Celebrated with a vanilla Coke float: electric and creamy, like Dwyane Wade!
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Friday, January 22, 2010
Heat 112 Wizards 88
6 Thoughts
1) This is the eighth straight blowout game Miami has been involved in. Four wins, four losses. Tomorrow night, home against Sacramento - need to get two straight in here somewhere. Sacramento is getting blown out in Orlando tonight, and hopefully will get to South Beach late, check out Bed, spend the day hungover on the beach tomorrow, and be ready to get blown out again tomorrow evening. By the way, a warning: if you are in South Beach in the wee hours this morning, and see a 6'11" white guy in a yellow jacket and green tie with the Space Needle on it, it just might be Sacramento big man Spencer Hawes. You know, this guy:
2) The Wizards were without starting point guard Gilbert Arenas tonight. Don't know where he was. Could be his troublesome knee flaring up - not sure. Haven't heard much about him lately, wonder what he has been up to. Will try to google him after writing the blog and see if I can find anything out. I'll report back to you tomorrow.
3) So, Friday night games are tough, usually, I am tired from the week, O. and P. Minutos aren't required to go to bed early, so they usually stay up to watch the game, and they ask questions non-stop. By the time you are 5 or 6 years old, or whatever P.Minutos is, you should really have the difference between a zone and man-to-man down, shouldn't you? Dang. Anyways, tonight, I came in uncharacteristically focused and fired up, fueled partially by a giant homemade milkshake consisting of one part premium vanilla ice cream, one part chocolate syrup, and one part caramel topping. Ahhh, smoooooth, like Jimmy Buckets from the elbow! On a definite sugar high, I spent the entire first quarter giving a hearty "Rahhhh," on every Heat basket, and there were a lot of baskets early as Miami blew the doors off Washington from the jump. M.Minutos predicted a crash down by mid-third quarter. She couldn't have been more right. Post-halftime, with the game essentially over, and the boys in bed, I slumped on the couch and watch Carlos Arroyo and James Jones play out the string. Considered helping M.Minutos, who was cutting out hearts from construction paper for a Valentine's Day project for the boys, but declined when it turned out she wasn't using a template. I don't cut without a template...
4) Dwyane Wade had 32 points and 10 assists, and totally dominated the game from start to finish. Sometimes I forget: he's really, really good! He made 4-7 threes, and he is looking more athletic, and leaner, each game. Also crashed into the scorer's table on one steal attempt, and knocked a phone off the hook, which he graciously replaced. A closer look at the phone revealed that it was an old, solid body, corded-phone, with push buttons on the front! Sweet! Jobs? Health care? They don't even have modern phones in Washington! Somebody call Joe Biden and get him on this! Yeah, call him on the old phone! If he doesn't answer, just wait about six hours and try him again, he's probably on the train on the way home! Okay, great...
5) Midway through the third quarter, Tony Fiorentio re-told the urban legend about former Washington big man Wes Unseld, whom people claim could grab a defensive rebound, turn around, and throw a line drive pass off the far backboard at the other end of the court. One: not sure when this would ever come in handy. Two: spent a good four minutes discussing with M.Minutos what Coach Spoelstra would do if on the next trip in this game, Mike Beasley grabbed a defensive rebound, turned around, and hurled an overhand fastball down the court off the offensive backboard for no apparent reason. Personally, I couldn't think of a better way to liven up a blowout win, whatever the outcome for SpongeBob SquareBeas. M.Minutos claimed that Spo would be so stunned that he wouldn't even take him out right away, and would just stare at the court in disbelief, then remove him at the next timeout for the duration. Buckets didn't do it - but had a nice homecoming anyways with 15 and 8.
6) This is very Jersey Shore-specific, so, one, if you don't watch it, you won't understand it; and, two, if you don't watch it, really, what the hell are you doing with your life? At Dos Minutos International HQs today we debated whether we have reached the point where we should remove the word "situation" from our everyday lexicon, and only use it to refer to situations involving "The Situation." Kind of like how we use "google" for an internet search, even if we don't specifically use the actual brand name Google, except for, you know, this is far more important. Admittedly, this is slightly different because the word "google" didn't exist before Google was invented - we probably just called it an "internet search," or something. The word "situation" seemed perfectly sufficient for describing scenarios of various types that one might find himself engaged in for the past two thousand or so years, and we probably all assumed that was going to last a while longer. Now, however, any time I hear the word "situation" used in any context at all, I can only think of The Situation. For instance, after the Laker-Cleveland game last night, Craig Sager asked LeBron James a question, and LeBron began his answer with something like, "Well, the situation was-" and I was like, "wait - what?" Totally missed the rest of the answer imagining The Situation teaming in the backcourt with Redz West in Mo Gotti's absence. So we're all good with this, right? If it doesn't involve The Situation, we aren't using the word "situation." Try "scenario."
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1) This is the eighth straight blowout game Miami has been involved in. Four wins, four losses. Tomorrow night, home against Sacramento - need to get two straight in here somewhere. Sacramento is getting blown out in Orlando tonight, and hopefully will get to South Beach late, check out Bed, spend the day hungover on the beach tomorrow, and be ready to get blown out again tomorrow evening. By the way, a warning: if you are in South Beach in the wee hours this morning, and see a 6'11" white guy in a yellow jacket and green tie with the Space Needle on it, it just might be Sacramento big man Spencer Hawes. You know, this guy:
2) The Wizards were without starting point guard Gilbert Arenas tonight. Don't know where he was. Could be his troublesome knee flaring up - not sure. Haven't heard much about him lately, wonder what he has been up to. Will try to google him after writing the blog and see if I can find anything out. I'll report back to you tomorrow.
3) So, Friday night games are tough, usually, I am tired from the week, O. and P. Minutos aren't required to go to bed early, so they usually stay up to watch the game, and they ask questions non-stop. By the time you are 5 or 6 years old, or whatever P.Minutos is, you should really have the difference between a zone and man-to-man down, shouldn't you? Dang. Anyways, tonight, I came in uncharacteristically focused and fired up, fueled partially by a giant homemade milkshake consisting of one part premium vanilla ice cream, one part chocolate syrup, and one part caramel topping. Ahhh, smoooooth, like Jimmy Buckets from the elbow! On a definite sugar high, I spent the entire first quarter giving a hearty "Rahhhh," on every Heat basket, and there were a lot of baskets early as Miami blew the doors off Washington from the jump. M.Minutos predicted a crash down by mid-third quarter. She couldn't have been more right. Post-halftime, with the game essentially over, and the boys in bed, I slumped on the couch and watch Carlos Arroyo and James Jones play out the string. Considered helping M.Minutos, who was cutting out hearts from construction paper for a Valentine's Day project for the boys, but declined when it turned out she wasn't using a template. I don't cut without a template...
4) Dwyane Wade had 32 points and 10 assists, and totally dominated the game from start to finish. Sometimes I forget: he's really, really good! He made 4-7 threes, and he is looking more athletic, and leaner, each game. Also crashed into the scorer's table on one steal attempt, and knocked a phone off the hook, which he graciously replaced. A closer look at the phone revealed that it was an old, solid body, corded-phone, with push buttons on the front! Sweet! Jobs? Health care? They don't even have modern phones in Washington! Somebody call Joe Biden and get him on this! Yeah, call him on the old phone! If he doesn't answer, just wait about six hours and try him again, he's probably on the train on the way home! Okay, great...
5) Midway through the third quarter, Tony Fiorentio re-told the urban legend about former Washington big man Wes Unseld, whom people claim could grab a defensive rebound, turn around, and throw a line drive pass off the far backboard at the other end of the court. One: not sure when this would ever come in handy. Two: spent a good four minutes discussing with M.Minutos what Coach Spoelstra would do if on the next trip in this game, Mike Beasley grabbed a defensive rebound, turned around, and hurled an overhand fastball down the court off the offensive backboard for no apparent reason. Personally, I couldn't think of a better way to liven up a blowout win, whatever the outcome for SpongeBob SquareBeas. M.Minutos claimed that Spo would be so stunned that he wouldn't even take him out right away, and would just stare at the court in disbelief, then remove him at the next timeout for the duration. Buckets didn't do it - but had a nice homecoming anyways with 15 and 8.
6) This is very Jersey Shore-specific, so, one, if you don't watch it, you won't understand it; and, two, if you don't watch it, really, what the hell are you doing with your life? At Dos Minutos International HQs today we debated whether we have reached the point where we should remove the word "situation" from our everyday lexicon, and only use it to refer to situations involving "The Situation." Kind of like how we use "google" for an internet search, even if we don't specifically use the actual brand name Google, except for, you know, this is far more important. Admittedly, this is slightly different because the word "google" didn't exist before Google was invented - we probably just called it an "internet search," or something. The word "situation" seemed perfectly sufficient for describing scenarios of various types that one might find himself engaged in for the past two thousand or so years, and we probably all assumed that was going to last a while longer. Now, however, any time I hear the word "situation" used in any context at all, I can only think of The Situation. For instance, after the Laker-Cleveland game last night, Craig Sager asked LeBron James a question, and LeBron began his answer with something like, "Well, the situation was-" and I was like, "wait - what?" Totally missed the rest of the answer imagining The Situation teaming in the backcourt with Redz West in Mo Gotti's absence. So we're all good with this, right? If it doesn't involve The Situation, we aren't using the word "situation." Try "scenario."
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Bobcats 104 Heat 65
6 Thoughts
1) Look, I have to be honest with you: this game was over 20 minutes in, and I spent the last three and a half quarters making reservations for a short trip to Disney World in February, and writing the cautionary lawn care tale down in #6. But I imagine we didn't play too well.
2) We don't want to bag on one guy particularly, because this was a pretty big mid-season game - Charlotte now slides in front of Miami for the #5 spot in the East - and everyone was bad, but...Jermaine O'Neal. There are nights when he provides some post scoring, protects the rim, and rebounds a little. Other nights, he is brutal. Like tonight, with 4 points (in the first three possessions of the game) and 3 boards in 22 minutes. Worse, he rotated defensively with all the urgency of The Situation "leaping" to Snookie's defense after she got tagged in the kisser by a Jersey Shore ruffian. I understand, he is old, the knee cartilage is turning to silt, and he can't bring it every night. But I think it is fair to question how invested he is. He is a free agent at the end of the season, and I am sure he will land somewhere for short years and short dollars. It just seems to me, reading his body language, that he rarely interacts with other guys on the court, seems very quiet, and is most definitely outside of the Wade-Pres Rich-Wright 1-3-5 click, and I doubt he takes a real interest in the nightly follies of the kids like Emcee Chalmers and Beas. I feel bad for him, in a way - he has been a legitimate NBA "guy," and gone through the wars, and he just feels a little bit like an outsider to me right now. At a minimum, I'd like to see Jamal Magloire give him a big hug.
3) One more hoops-related item, then some blowout material. The Heat end the first half 21-20. I think that is about where most people thought they would be. Wade was lousy - by Wade standards - for the first 30 games, but he is trending up. Beasley is up. Haslem has been solid, and Rafer Alston is at least a mild upgrade at the point. Just feels like maybe they could put together 5 wins in a row at some point, but the last three weeks have been unbelievably yo-yo-ey: really solid performances followed by absolutely horrific performances. Tough to explain. The team has been good on the road: 9-10, which is solid for a middling NBA team. But they have been brutal at home: 12-10, which is poor for a middling playoff team. They are an enigma. I feel like they have to make the playoffs, even if they get bounced right out again - the only thing that matters is making Dwyane Wade feel okay about staying this offseason, and being able to add another big-time player or two. Missing the playoffs would be too depressing, and might nudge Wade toward the door. I really believe they are more likely to string 5 wins together than 5 losses - if they can get that done somewhere in here, they are going to be fine. Start to slide, and I don't want to even think about it...Okay, blowout material:
4) Our favorite reader, Thor, has a complaint about our post from last night's Indiana game, this item:
Wade bounced up, and the Heat Nation breathed a big sigh of relief.
Thor's email (keep in mind, he's our favorite reader):
The term “Heat Nation” is super gay and I hope it is not indicative of Dos becoming part of the typical sports reporting machine and its choked throat of cliché and term cannibalism.
Super gay? You would know!!!
Sorry, that's all I have - it was pretty super gay...
5) Occasionally, but not too often, I am funny. But you know who is always funny? That's right, Dos Minutos' favorite NBA player, Rasheed Wallace! Apparently, on tilt again - I am going to guess that, this time, it has something to do with the refs:
The NBA fined Boston Celtics forward Rasheed Wallace $35,000 for publicly criticizing game officials following Monday's 99-90 loss to the Dallas Mavericks.
"[The officials] don't like tough defense on [Dirk Nowitzki], so, of course, I get a whole lot of [expletive] calls," Wallace said after Monday's game in which foul trouble limited his minutes. "That's how the story goes, I'm not worried about it. We'll see them again."
The Mavericks made a late third-quarter run with Wallace sidelined with four fouls. Asked if he thought that was the difference in the game, Wallace added, "Actually, I honestly can't remember which one the fourth foul was, there was so many bogus [calls], but I'm not worried about it."
6) So I am trying to buy two gumbo limbo trees for my backyard and I emailed my lawn care guy who writes back, in all caps, LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN FIND FOR YOU. I give him a few weeks, don't hear from him, email him back like, What's up, do you want me to go find the trees myself, that's no problem, and he's like, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, I AM STILL TRYING TO LOCATE SOMETHING FOR YOU. Not sure if he was actually going out in to the forest to try to find gumbo limbo trees in nature - I had assumed he was just going to go to a nursery and buy them because there are about 6 within 5 miles of my house. So I eased back and let him continue his search. In the meantime, I bring O.and P. Minutos, along with my father-in-law, X, and Julia Roberts to Rufus' bar-b-que off his truck in Boynton Beach one late afternoon. Rufus had driven the truck away, so we slid over to Troy's shack-like bar-b-que a few blocks down Federal Highway. I walk up to the window to order - it isn't in the best neighborhood ever - and this 6'5" humongous guy comes around the corner and gives me major dap: my tree trimming guy Big Dub! My father-in-law is sufficiently impressed because here is his nerdy, white, white son-in-law (my f-i-l is a large black dude himself) apparently with a major rep at the local bar-b-que. So, I explain my frustration with the lawn care guy and his search for the elusive gumbo limbo to Big Dub - you know, right out there at the rib shack because that's how we do - and he tells me to just go find two trees at a nursery, pay for them, and he'll swing by with his truck, pick them up, and put them in the yard. Cool, I'm with it. However, I forgot that Big Dub, well, let's just say there is a chance that he likes the sticky-icky. He is the only tree trimming guy that regularly comes by his clients' house for an advance on future tree trimming services. Two nights later, he is at my door looking for $100 for the tree planting - by the way, I hadn't even considered going out to look for trees yet - I give him the advance, and tell him I will call him (Upon hearing this news in Dos Minutos HQs the next day, The Captain says: "Oh yeah - I like this idea!"). Of course, a day or two later, my lawn guy emails back to say: I HAVE LOCATED TWO TREES AND CAN INSTALL THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT. No price, no size, nothing - that's the whole email. About 6 painful emails later - he lacks quality written communication skills - I find out the price and size of the trees, and tell him to go ahead and get it done. The point of this story? Is there anybody out there who wants to pay me $50 for $100 worth of yard work by a 6'5", bar-b-que eating, base-head? I am willing to take a loss...
1) Look, I have to be honest with you: this game was over 20 minutes in, and I spent the last three and a half quarters making reservations for a short trip to Disney World in February, and writing the cautionary lawn care tale down in #6. But I imagine we didn't play too well.
2) We don't want to bag on one guy particularly, because this was a pretty big mid-season game - Charlotte now slides in front of Miami for the #5 spot in the East - and everyone was bad, but...Jermaine O'Neal. There are nights when he provides some post scoring, protects the rim, and rebounds a little. Other nights, he is brutal. Like tonight, with 4 points (in the first three possessions of the game) and 3 boards in 22 minutes. Worse, he rotated defensively with all the urgency of The Situation "leaping" to Snookie's defense after she got tagged in the kisser by a Jersey Shore ruffian. I understand, he is old, the knee cartilage is turning to silt, and he can't bring it every night. But I think it is fair to question how invested he is. He is a free agent at the end of the season, and I am sure he will land somewhere for short years and short dollars. It just seems to me, reading his body language, that he rarely interacts with other guys on the court, seems very quiet, and is most definitely outside of the Wade-Pres Rich-Wright 1-3-5 click, and I doubt he takes a real interest in the nightly follies of the kids like Emcee Chalmers and Beas. I feel bad for him, in a way - he has been a legitimate NBA "guy," and gone through the wars, and he just feels a little bit like an outsider to me right now. At a minimum, I'd like to see Jamal Magloire give him a big hug.
3) One more hoops-related item, then some blowout material. The Heat end the first half 21-20. I think that is about where most people thought they would be. Wade was lousy - by Wade standards - for the first 30 games, but he is trending up. Beasley is up. Haslem has been solid, and Rafer Alston is at least a mild upgrade at the point. Just feels like maybe they could put together 5 wins in a row at some point, but the last three weeks have been unbelievably yo-yo-ey: really solid performances followed by absolutely horrific performances. Tough to explain. The team has been good on the road: 9-10, which is solid for a middling NBA team. But they have been brutal at home: 12-10, which is poor for a middling playoff team. They are an enigma. I feel like they have to make the playoffs, even if they get bounced right out again - the only thing that matters is making Dwyane Wade feel okay about staying this offseason, and being able to add another big-time player or two. Missing the playoffs would be too depressing, and might nudge Wade toward the door. I really believe they are more likely to string 5 wins together than 5 losses - if they can get that done somewhere in here, they are going to be fine. Start to slide, and I don't want to even think about it...Okay, blowout material:
4) Our favorite reader, Thor, has a complaint about our post from last night's Indiana game, this item:
Wade bounced up, and the Heat Nation breathed a big sigh of relief.
Thor's email (keep in mind, he's our favorite reader):
The term “Heat Nation” is super gay and I hope it is not indicative of Dos becoming part of the typical sports reporting machine and its choked throat of cliché and term cannibalism.
Super gay? You would know!!!
Sorry, that's all I have - it was pretty super gay...
5) Occasionally, but not too often, I am funny. But you know who is always funny? That's right, Dos Minutos' favorite NBA player, Rasheed Wallace! Apparently, on tilt again - I am going to guess that, this time, it has something to do with the refs:
The NBA fined Boston Celtics forward Rasheed Wallace $35,000 for publicly criticizing game officials following Monday's 99-90 loss to the Dallas Mavericks.
"[The officials] don't like tough defense on [Dirk Nowitzki], so, of course, I get a whole lot of [expletive] calls," Wallace said after Monday's game in which foul trouble limited his minutes. "That's how the story goes, I'm not worried about it. We'll see them again."
The Mavericks made a late third-quarter run with Wallace sidelined with four fouls. Asked if he thought that was the difference in the game, Wallace added, "Actually, I honestly can't remember which one the fourth foul was, there was so many bogus [calls], but I'm not worried about it."
6) So I am trying to buy two gumbo limbo trees for my backyard and I emailed my lawn care guy who writes back, in all caps, LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN FIND FOR YOU. I give him a few weeks, don't hear from him, email him back like, What's up, do you want me to go find the trees myself, that's no problem, and he's like, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, I AM STILL TRYING TO LOCATE SOMETHING FOR YOU. Not sure if he was actually going out in to the forest to try to find gumbo limbo trees in nature - I had assumed he was just going to go to a nursery and buy them because there are about 6 within 5 miles of my house. So I eased back and let him continue his search. In the meantime, I bring O.and P. Minutos, along with my father-in-law, X, and Julia Roberts to Rufus' bar-b-que off his truck in Boynton Beach one late afternoon. Rufus had driven the truck away, so we slid over to Troy's shack-like bar-b-que a few blocks down Federal Highway. I walk up to the window to order - it isn't in the best neighborhood ever - and this 6'5" humongous guy comes around the corner and gives me major dap: my tree trimming guy Big Dub! My father-in-law is sufficiently impressed because here is his nerdy, white, white son-in-law (my f-i-l is a large black dude himself) apparently with a major rep at the local bar-b-que. So, I explain my frustration with the lawn care guy and his search for the elusive gumbo limbo to Big Dub - you know, right out there at the rib shack because that's how we do - and he tells me to just go find two trees at a nursery, pay for them, and he'll swing by with his truck, pick them up, and put them in the yard. Cool, I'm with it. However, I forgot that Big Dub, well, let's just say there is a chance that he likes the sticky-icky. He is the only tree trimming guy that regularly comes by his clients' house for an advance on future tree trimming services. Two nights later, he is at my door looking for $100 for the tree planting - by the way, I hadn't even considered going out to look for trees yet - I give him the advance, and tell him I will call him (Upon hearing this news in Dos Minutos HQs the next day, The Captain says: "Oh yeah - I like this idea!"). Of course, a day or two later, my lawn guy emails back to say: I HAVE LOCATED TWO TREES AND CAN INSTALL THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT. No price, no size, nothing - that's the whole email. About 6 painful emails later - he lacks quality written communication skills - I find out the price and size of the trees, and tell him to go ahead and get it done. The point of this story? Is there anybody out there who wants to pay me $50 for $100 worth of yard work by a 6'5", bar-b-que eating, base-head? I am willing to take a loss...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Heat 113 Pacers 83
6 Thoughts
1) Miami has played Indiana three times this year, and blown them out three times. Love seeing those Indiana Pacers right now! Before the game, Pacer coach Jim O'Brien, sporting a suit and Adidas flip flops due to a broken toe, explained the reason for his team's struggles to Eric Reid: "We are not good defensively."
2)Miami is 21-19. Midway point of the season tomorrow night, with a big showdown in Charlotte - who is white hot - for the 5th spot in the playoff standings. Dwyane Wade looked prepped and ready for that game, scoring 25 in the first half, and 32 for the game, before sitting out the fourth quarter. DWade is in noticeably better shape, and getting better lift on the jumper - as a consequence, he is scoring more easily: shooting 57% in his last five games. He has played his way into shape.
3) Great to see Pacers rookie, and beloved Connecticut Husky, A.J. Price tonight. A.J. survived a brain hemorrhage, a suspension for stealing laptop computers, and, most impressively, five years under ultra-demanding UConn coach Jim Calhoun, to lead Connecticut to the Final Four last year. A.J. is now the Pacers backup point guard. Great to see him, that is, until late in the third quarter when he inexplicably grabbed a speeding Dwyane Wade by the shoulder, sending him helicoptering sideways into a sprinting Mike Dunleavy. Goodness gracious A.J. - the game had been over for an hour at that point. A.J. received a flagrant foul, Wade bounced up, and the Heat Nation breathed a big sigh of relief.
4) Supercool Jimmy Buckets: 21 and 10 tonight. Yes, it was a blowout, but I'm just saying...
5) We are introducing a new segment tonight called: "Jax, Jax, Jax - What Are You Thinking?" Ira Winderman and Jason Jackson picked their midseason award winners at halftime. Ira, correctly, cited LeBron James as the MVP. Frankly, it's not even close - but, Jax chose Kevin Durant. Okay, we can live with that. If you swapped Durant and LeBron I think you'd find out just how good LeBron is, but whatever, at least Durant is a top 5 or 6 player in the league. But after Ira, also correctly, selected Dwight Howard as his defensive player of the first half - again, not even really close - Jax cited OKC shooting guard Thabo Sefolosha as his top defender. Jax - I mean, come on. Yes, Thabo has been nice on Wade in their two meetings this season. But are you telling me that if you are starting a team, and have to pick one player strictly for defensive purposes, you are taking Thabo Sefolosha over Dwight Howard? Really? Really? Jax, Jax, Jax - what are you thinking?...Jax - you've seen Orlando play, right? You know which guy Dwight Howard is, right? He's the chiseled 6'11" guy in the middle of the court blocking everything in sight. Even Dwyane Wade doesn't venture in there - he's the one guy in the league who just shuts down the middle. Jax - please apologize to your viewers for this egregious error...
6) Okay, made the annual trip yesterday to the South Florida Fair. Here is what was consumed: fried pickels; fried macaroni and cheese; funnel cake; corn dog; cotton candy; hand-churned ice cream; homemade ice tea; three-flavor, self-poured icey freeze; roasted corn; and, of course, chocolate-covered cheescake. Also: rode on a roller coaster, and spent somewhere between twelve and eighty dollars on O. and P. Minutos' carnival games so that they could win stuffed animals with a combined value of $6.75. It's the best day of the year, and it's not even close...
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1) Miami has played Indiana three times this year, and blown them out three times. Love seeing those Indiana Pacers right now! Before the game, Pacer coach Jim O'Brien, sporting a suit and Adidas flip flops due to a broken toe, explained the reason for his team's struggles to Eric Reid: "We are not good defensively."
2)Miami is 21-19. Midway point of the season tomorrow night, with a big showdown in Charlotte - who is white hot - for the 5th spot in the playoff standings. Dwyane Wade looked prepped and ready for that game, scoring 25 in the first half, and 32 for the game, before sitting out the fourth quarter. DWade is in noticeably better shape, and getting better lift on the jumper - as a consequence, he is scoring more easily: shooting 57% in his last five games. He has played his way into shape.
3) Great to see Pacers rookie, and beloved Connecticut Husky, A.J. Price tonight. A.J. survived a brain hemorrhage, a suspension for stealing laptop computers, and, most impressively, five years under ultra-demanding UConn coach Jim Calhoun, to lead Connecticut to the Final Four last year. A.J. is now the Pacers backup point guard. Great to see him, that is, until late in the third quarter when he inexplicably grabbed a speeding Dwyane Wade by the shoulder, sending him helicoptering sideways into a sprinting Mike Dunleavy. Goodness gracious A.J. - the game had been over for an hour at that point. A.J. received a flagrant foul, Wade bounced up, and the Heat Nation breathed a big sigh of relief.
4) Supercool Jimmy Buckets: 21 and 10 tonight. Yes, it was a blowout, but I'm just saying...
5) We are introducing a new segment tonight called: "Jax, Jax, Jax - What Are You Thinking?" Ira Winderman and Jason Jackson picked their midseason award winners at halftime. Ira, correctly, cited LeBron James as the MVP. Frankly, it's not even close - but, Jax chose Kevin Durant. Okay, we can live with that. If you swapped Durant and LeBron I think you'd find out just how good LeBron is, but whatever, at least Durant is a top 5 or 6 player in the league. But after Ira, also correctly, selected Dwight Howard as his defensive player of the first half - again, not even really close - Jax cited OKC shooting guard Thabo Sefolosha as his top defender. Jax - I mean, come on. Yes, Thabo has been nice on Wade in their two meetings this season. But are you telling me that if you are starting a team, and have to pick one player strictly for defensive purposes, you are taking Thabo Sefolosha over Dwight Howard? Really? Really? Jax, Jax, Jax - what are you thinking?...Jax - you've seen Orlando play, right? You know which guy Dwight Howard is, right? He's the chiseled 6'11" guy in the middle of the court blocking everything in sight. Even Dwyane Wade doesn't venture in there - he's the one guy in the league who just shuts down the middle. Jax - please apologize to your viewers for this egregious error...
6) Okay, made the annual trip yesterday to the South Florida Fair. Here is what was consumed: fried pickels; fried macaroni and cheese; funnel cake; corn dog; cotton candy; hand-churned ice cream; homemade ice tea; three-flavor, self-poured icey freeze; roasted corn; and, of course, chocolate-covered cheescake. Also: rode on a roller coaster, and spent somewhere between twelve and eighty dollars on O. and P. Minutos' carnival games so that they could win stuffed animals with a combined value of $6.75. It's the best day of the year, and it's not even close...
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Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thunder 98 Heat 80
6 Thoughts
1) An odd 6 game road trip ends 3-3. Miami won pretty easily 3 times, got blown out 3 times. As Tim Hardaway would say, "sides is even." What can you do?
2) Kevin Durant, the Thunder's rising young star, was absurd. Only 36 points on 14-18 shooting, 10 rebounds, and 1 slap fight with Jermaine O'Neal. Not only that, but the Thunder has improved from the 27th ranked team by defensive field goal percentage last year, to third best this year. That can't happen unless your best player buys in on the defensive end, and sets the tone. Love Kevin Durant. You know who else loves him? Heat play-by-play announcer Eric Reid: "If you ever had a conversation with Kevin Durant, you would remember it. He is intelligent, well-spoken, and a joy to spend time with!" Ohhh-kay!
3) So while I was growing up, the Lakers' power forward was A.C. Green, and the most famous thing about him, besides his really bad jheri curl, was that he professed to be a virgin. Was proud of it, actually, and tried to preach abstinence until marriage. Okay, I'm with it - that wasn't exactly the path I chose, but, you know..Also, just for argument's sake, why even bother playing in the NBA if you aren't going to indulge in the, ummm, fans? Anyways, it occurs to me tonight: when, exactly, did A.C. Green get married? Because current Thunder power forward Jeff Green looks an awful lot like former Laker power forward A.C. Green...Check it out:
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Let's do the math - A.C. Green was never married while he was playing in the league, and his career ended in 2001. Jeff Green was born in...I don't know, but it was before 2001...Awwww, I knew it, I knew A.C. Green was living foul! First Tom Cruise, now this! Tough week...
4) Okay, when, exactly, did legendary comedian Andy Kaufman die? Because Thunder starting center Nenad Kristic looks an awful lot like...just check it out:
5) In the second quarter, extremely talented, but occasionally wild, and always annoying with his smirking on court demeanor, Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook came over a high screen dribbling the ball, turned left and fired a pass out to the wing. Unfortunately, standing between Westbrook and the wing: Kevin Durant's face - Wham! Not sure I ever saw one quite like that before. And it's 50-50 Westbrook did it on purpose. Best play of the night!
6) So last week we reviewed a new album by Patterson Hood, which has grown on us, and turned out to be a real keeper. This week, we are mining the back catalogue of his band, Drive-By Truckers, whom we have heard of, but never listened to. Downloaded what is purported to be their best work, a 2002 double album called Southern Rock Opera. It's a southern rock opera - surprise! - about growing up in the 70s in the Deep South, where George Wallace, Bear Bryant, and Ronnie Van Zant reigned supreme. The album is super good! Super, super good!!! First of all, they rock - three guitars screeching and snarling all over twenty songs worth of southern rock. Last year we listened to Tom Petty's new/old band Mudcrutch and were disappointed because they didn't sound like a Mudcrutch, they sounded like a Byrds cover band. Drive-By Truckers sound like mudcrutch. Like this: muuuuuud-crutchh! Second, their songs are passionate and thoughtful - ironically, it isn't really made for southern folks, in a sense it is made for northeastern, New York Times-reading nerds like myself. It's like they are explaining to me, musically, "hey, we know you have this perception of us and our music - but let us explain how we really are, and what we really do." The song "Wallace," and its long intro, explains George Wallace's flip-flopping on the racial issue, and tries to present him as a flawed - humanly-flawed - person, but still condemns him in the end: "Put another log on the fire, boys, Wallace is coming," sings the Devil to his henchmen in the song. In the same way that I would play them Jane's Addiction, and explain what they meant to me, they do the same thing with Southern rock - primarily Skynyrd - and their own music. Every white dude secretly loves "Freebird," but I have never listened to an entire Skynyrd album or anything - they take away your NYT home delivery for that. So all I have in my head are far away echoes of these semi-exotic Southern rock sounds - now, after listening to Southern Rock Opera, I feel like I get it a little more, and I like it a lot more. Super cool. Let your freaky rebel flag fly, Drive-By Truckers, let your freaky rebel flag fly...
1) An odd 6 game road trip ends 3-3. Miami won pretty easily 3 times, got blown out 3 times. As Tim Hardaway would say, "sides is even." What can you do?
2) Kevin Durant, the Thunder's rising young star, was absurd. Only 36 points on 14-18 shooting, 10 rebounds, and 1 slap fight with Jermaine O'Neal. Not only that, but the Thunder has improved from the 27th ranked team by defensive field goal percentage last year, to third best this year. That can't happen unless your best player buys in on the defensive end, and sets the tone. Love Kevin Durant. You know who else loves him? Heat play-by-play announcer Eric Reid: "If you ever had a conversation with Kevin Durant, you would remember it. He is intelligent, well-spoken, and a joy to spend time with!" Ohhh-kay!
3) So while I was growing up, the Lakers' power forward was A.C. Green, and the most famous thing about him, besides his really bad jheri curl, was that he professed to be a virgin. Was proud of it, actually, and tried to preach abstinence until marriage. Okay, I'm with it - that wasn't exactly the path I chose, but, you know..Also, just for argument's sake, why even bother playing in the NBA if you aren't going to indulge in the, ummm, fans? Anyways, it occurs to me tonight: when, exactly, did A.C. Green get married? Because current Thunder power forward Jeff Green looks an awful lot like former Laker power forward A.C. Green...Check it out:
.jpg)
Let's do the math - A.C. Green was never married while he was playing in the league, and his career ended in 2001. Jeff Green was born in...I don't know, but it was before 2001...Awwww, I knew it, I knew A.C. Green was living foul! First Tom Cruise, now this! Tough week...
4) Okay, when, exactly, did legendary comedian Andy Kaufman die? Because Thunder starting center Nenad Kristic looks an awful lot like...just check it out:
5) In the second quarter, extremely talented, but occasionally wild, and always annoying with his smirking on court demeanor, Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook came over a high screen dribbling the ball, turned left and fired a pass out to the wing. Unfortunately, standing between Westbrook and the wing: Kevin Durant's face - Wham! Not sure I ever saw one quite like that before. And it's 50-50 Westbrook did it on purpose. Best play of the night!
6) So last week we reviewed a new album by Patterson Hood, which has grown on us, and turned out to be a real keeper. This week, we are mining the back catalogue of his band, Drive-By Truckers, whom we have heard of, but never listened to. Downloaded what is purported to be their best work, a 2002 double album called Southern Rock Opera. It's a southern rock opera - surprise! - about growing up in the 70s in the Deep South, where George Wallace, Bear Bryant, and Ronnie Van Zant reigned supreme. The album is super good! Super, super good!!! First of all, they rock - three guitars screeching and snarling all over twenty songs worth of southern rock. Last year we listened to Tom Petty's new/old band Mudcrutch and were disappointed because they didn't sound like a Mudcrutch, they sounded like a Byrds cover band. Drive-By Truckers sound like mudcrutch. Like this: muuuuuud-crutchh! Second, their songs are passionate and thoughtful - ironically, it isn't really made for southern folks, in a sense it is made for northeastern, New York Times-reading nerds like myself. It's like they are explaining to me, musically, "hey, we know you have this perception of us and our music - but let us explain how we really are, and what we really do." The song "Wallace," and its long intro, explains George Wallace's flip-flopping on the racial issue, and tries to present him as a flawed - humanly-flawed - person, but still condemns him in the end: "Put another log on the fire, boys, Wallace is coming," sings the Devil to his henchmen in the song. In the same way that I would play them Jane's Addiction, and explain what they meant to me, they do the same thing with Southern rock - primarily Skynyrd - and their own music. Every white dude secretly loves "Freebird," but I have never listened to an entire Skynyrd album or anything - they take away your NYT home delivery for that. So all I have in my head are far away echoes of these semi-exotic Southern rock sounds - now, after listening to Southern Rock Opera, I feel like I get it a little more, and I like it a lot more. Super cool. Let your freaky rebel flag fly, Drive-By Truckers, let your freaky rebel flag fly...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Heat 115 Rockets 106
6 Thoughts
1) This was one of the most consistent efforts of the year for the Heat, on the road, against a solid team that had won 8 straight at home. Miami got down 10 early, but played a great second quarter to go up 9 at the half, extended early in the third, and cruised in the fourth. Now 3-2 on this West Coast trip, with the final game tomorrow night in Oklahoma City - win or lose, the trip has been okay, the Heat have stayed in contact of .500 (20-18), and right in the thick of the playoff mix.
2) Famously, Rocket defensive stopper and all-around role player, Shane Battier, was labeled the best player in the NBA by a complex grading system the Rockets utilize to evaluate players, a claim highlighted in a New York Times Magazine article during last season. The system seemingly has merit - the Rockets are as good at any franchise at finding undervalued players: Chuck Hayes, Aaron Brooks, Carl Landry, and Chase Budinger are all great examples of this. But to claim Battier is the best player in the league only indicates that the system can still stand maybe just a tiny little bit of tweaking: in 8 seasons in the league, he's been out of the first round of the playoffs 1 - that's one - time! He wasn't undervalued, by the way - picked #6 his year in the draft. Which seems a little high. Also, currently being shopped in numerous trade scenarios, and, allegedly, a huge George Bush guy (both of them). Incidentally, the designer of the Rockets grading system? Shane Battier!...In fairness to Battier, who honestly seems like a decent and thoughtful human being, trying to make a career in the NBA as a defensive stopper, especially when you lack elite athletic skills, is incredibly difficult. He does what he can, to the best of his ability. Tonight? Dwyane Wade made him look absurd, dropping an effortless 37 on him on 15-24, with 8 assists for good measure. At one point, the Rockets switched Trevor Ariza on to Wade, and put Battier on Mike Beasley, who promptly went on a binge of his own. Tough, tough night for Battier...
3) Speaking of Wade, he looks noticeably leaner and more explosive as of late. It appears he has played his way in to shape. He also had uber-trainer Tim Grover, with whom he works in the off-season, in town for a while. On this 5 game road trip Wade is averaging 28 a game on 54% shooting, along with 7 assists per game, and has made 33-36 free throws. Starting to look like Dwyane Wade. I think we'll try to re-sign him this off-season after all.
4) Skip Alston spent 4 seasons in Houston before being shipped to Orlando midway through last year. Returned and drilled his former protege Aaron Brooks: 17 points on 7-10 shooting for Skip, and held the Rockets leading scorer to just 14 on 5-13, and forced him into 4 turnovers to boot.
5) Halftime segment showed quite a trio out on a fishing trip from sometime early this season, or preseason: Udonis Haslem, James Jones, and play-by-player Eric Reid. Udonis talked more during a four minute segment on a fishing boat than he had publicly during his first seven seasons on the team. Seemed to be having a great time, caught a big fish, and said this a lot while battling it: "Whoooo - yes sir!" James Jones mostly napped. M.Minutos and I were wondering how Udonis and Jones were hoodwinked in to going on the trip when, late in the segment, it was revealed that the fishing boat's captain was a Heat season ticket holder. We imagined the phone call to the guy encouraging him to renew his tickets, his reluctance, then the sales guy's obligatory, "is there anything we could do?..." How do those negotiations go from there? He asks for Wade, Supercool, and two cheerleaders, and the Heat counter with Chris Quinn, Jason Jackson, and a Sunsport camera guy, before all sides come to an agreement on the trio that went?
6) The Captain has had it with my constant carping about the po-lice being over-aggressive (my term, not his) about enforcing parking violations:
Maybe you should take mass transit where ever you go so that you don't have to worry about the po-lice depriving you of parking spots. Try the bus.
I would be happy to comment further, but on the advice of my lawyers, I am not able to do so currently. Court date pending for March...
Game tomorrow in Oklahoma City, wherever that is. I am quite sure I have been corrected on this before, but I though Oklahoma was a state. Though, honestly, tough for me to care either way...
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1) This was one of the most consistent efforts of the year for the Heat, on the road, against a solid team that had won 8 straight at home. Miami got down 10 early, but played a great second quarter to go up 9 at the half, extended early in the third, and cruised in the fourth. Now 3-2 on this West Coast trip, with the final game tomorrow night in Oklahoma City - win or lose, the trip has been okay, the Heat have stayed in contact of .500 (20-18), and right in the thick of the playoff mix.
2) Famously, Rocket defensive stopper and all-around role player, Shane Battier, was labeled the best player in the NBA by a complex grading system the Rockets utilize to evaluate players, a claim highlighted in a New York Times Magazine article during last season. The system seemingly has merit - the Rockets are as good at any franchise at finding undervalued players: Chuck Hayes, Aaron Brooks, Carl Landry, and Chase Budinger are all great examples of this. But to claim Battier is the best player in the league only indicates that the system can still stand maybe just a tiny little bit of tweaking: in 8 seasons in the league, he's been out of the first round of the playoffs 1 - that's one - time! He wasn't undervalued, by the way - picked #6 his year in the draft. Which seems a little high. Also, currently being shopped in numerous trade scenarios, and, allegedly, a huge George Bush guy (both of them). Incidentally, the designer of the Rockets grading system? Shane Battier!...In fairness to Battier, who honestly seems like a decent and thoughtful human being, trying to make a career in the NBA as a defensive stopper, especially when you lack elite athletic skills, is incredibly difficult. He does what he can, to the best of his ability. Tonight? Dwyane Wade made him look absurd, dropping an effortless 37 on him on 15-24, with 8 assists for good measure. At one point, the Rockets switched Trevor Ariza on to Wade, and put Battier on Mike Beasley, who promptly went on a binge of his own. Tough, tough night for Battier...
3) Speaking of Wade, he looks noticeably leaner and more explosive as of late. It appears he has played his way in to shape. He also had uber-trainer Tim Grover, with whom he works in the off-season, in town for a while. On this 5 game road trip Wade is averaging 28 a game on 54% shooting, along with 7 assists per game, and has made 33-36 free throws. Starting to look like Dwyane Wade. I think we'll try to re-sign him this off-season after all.
4) Skip Alston spent 4 seasons in Houston before being shipped to Orlando midway through last year. Returned and drilled his former protege Aaron Brooks: 17 points on 7-10 shooting for Skip, and held the Rockets leading scorer to just 14 on 5-13, and forced him into 4 turnovers to boot.
5) Halftime segment showed quite a trio out on a fishing trip from sometime early this season, or preseason: Udonis Haslem, James Jones, and play-by-player Eric Reid. Udonis talked more during a four minute segment on a fishing boat than he had publicly during his first seven seasons on the team. Seemed to be having a great time, caught a big fish, and said this a lot while battling it: "Whoooo - yes sir!" James Jones mostly napped. M.Minutos and I were wondering how Udonis and Jones were hoodwinked in to going on the trip when, late in the segment, it was revealed that the fishing boat's captain was a Heat season ticket holder. We imagined the phone call to the guy encouraging him to renew his tickets, his reluctance, then the sales guy's obligatory, "is there anything we could do?..." How do those negotiations go from there? He asks for Wade, Supercool, and two cheerleaders, and the Heat counter with Chris Quinn, Jason Jackson, and a Sunsport camera guy, before all sides come to an agreement on the trio that went?
6) The Captain has had it with my constant carping about the po-lice being over-aggressive (my term, not his) about enforcing parking violations:
Maybe you should take mass transit where ever you go so that you don't have to worry about the po-lice depriving you of parking spots. Try the bus.
I would be happy to comment further, but on the advice of my lawyers, I am not able to do so currently. Court date pending for March...
Game tomorrow in Oklahoma City, wherever that is. I am quite sure I have been corrected on this before, but I though Oklahoma was a state. Though, honestly, tough for me to care either way...
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Heat 115 Warriors 102
6 Thoughts
1) The Heat win an easy game in Golden State, wherever that is. I think California, maybe? Sometimes we say it is late, but it's a lie, we just don't feel like writing much. Tonight, it's late: 10:30 eastern start time, about 1:35 right now. Debated skipping game but had seen 36 straight to start the season so far. It's 37 now, boy! 19-18! No, I have no life...
2) Wade could smell it against a team that is last in the league in virtually every defensive category, and poured in 35 points on 10-15 shooting, 15-15 from the line, to go with 9 assists and 7 rebounds. Good night to pad the numbers - he had a sore wrist and was questionable to go tonight: wrist had to be feeling better when he saw Golden State next on the schedule.
3) Also smelling it after a series of games in which he appeared approximately 100 years old? Jermaine O'Neal! Welcome back to the land of the living, Jermaino! 24 points on 11-15 shooting. A boisterous Warrior fan who sits right behind Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino and is audible throughout every year's broadcast from Golden State - and also clearly in the head of Eric Reid, who couldn't stop talking about him - screamed out late in the game after Jermaino hit another pull-up over a half-hearted defensive effort: "Come on - he's been doing that since Indiana!" Jermaino turned and gave the "shhhhh" finger to the lips. When Jermaine plays well and can defend the rim, Miami is pretty good - he just doesn't have it in the legs to bring it every night, it seems. Tonight, for the first time in a while, he was really good.
4) The Warriors defense, as we mentioned last in almost every defensive category the NBA tracks, is an abomination. Sadly, they have superior athletes, but appear completely disorganized - a defensive plan is even more important in the NBA than a focused offense. 102 year old Warrior coach Don Nelson has been mailing in seasons since about 1994 - it is pitiful that the Warrior organization allows him to continue collecting checks for just rolling balls out there, and occasionally making a substitution. NBA fans deserve better. Warrior fans ought to boo this team off the court every night. Just a group of guys looking to post numbers - someone has to change the culture there, and it has to start with changing the coach. He's a joke.
5) Mike Beasley: again, big first half, 14 points, went to the rim early, which set up his jump shot. Again, second half, refused to go to the basket, finished with 19 overall, including a garbage time triple. I don't know why he can't string two halves together - there has to be a night coming where he goes 18 and 19, for 37, doesn't there?
6) Okay, so if you remember last year we spent a lot of time analyzing the Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie, in which Tom Cruise goes back in time to try to kill Hitler. Clearly, one of the best movies of the year, although, to be fair, we still haven't actually seen it. Couple of new thoughts on it this week: 1) In Inglorious Bastards, which I did see, they do kill Hitler. That was sweet. 2) Taking a class on Nazis this semester in my graduate program. Not rushing to judgement, by the way - going to keep an open mind. Anyways, it turns out that the 1944 internal plot to kill Hitler, the one Tom Cruise traveled back in time to join, has through the years been portrayed as a liberal attempt to rescue Germany from totalitarianism but, in actuality, was little more than a power grab by another conservative, authoritarian faction within the German power structure. Cruise and his buddies may have thought that Hitler went a little bit too far, but they were bad guys themselves, and probably still would have done things like invade other countries, and prevent people from parking in spots that totally made sense, were safe, and weren't causing anyone any inconvenience whatsoever (you know, like here in Amerika!). Tom Cruise - I knew it, I knew you weren't being honest with us, you little stinker. You're glib...
1) The Heat win an easy game in Golden State, wherever that is. I think California, maybe? Sometimes we say it is late, but it's a lie, we just don't feel like writing much. Tonight, it's late: 10:30 eastern start time, about 1:35 right now. Debated skipping game but had seen 36 straight to start the season so far. It's 37 now, boy! 19-18! No, I have no life...
2) Wade could smell it against a team that is last in the league in virtually every defensive category, and poured in 35 points on 10-15 shooting, 15-15 from the line, to go with 9 assists and 7 rebounds. Good night to pad the numbers - he had a sore wrist and was questionable to go tonight: wrist had to be feeling better when he saw Golden State next on the schedule.
3) Also smelling it after a series of games in which he appeared approximately 100 years old? Jermaine O'Neal! Welcome back to the land of the living, Jermaino! 24 points on 11-15 shooting. A boisterous Warrior fan who sits right behind Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino and is audible throughout every year's broadcast from Golden State - and also clearly in the head of Eric Reid, who couldn't stop talking about him - screamed out late in the game after Jermaino hit another pull-up over a half-hearted defensive effort: "Come on - he's been doing that since Indiana!" Jermaino turned and gave the "shhhhh" finger to the lips. When Jermaine plays well and can defend the rim, Miami is pretty good - he just doesn't have it in the legs to bring it every night, it seems. Tonight, for the first time in a while, he was really good.
4) The Warriors defense, as we mentioned last in almost every defensive category the NBA tracks, is an abomination. Sadly, they have superior athletes, but appear completely disorganized - a defensive plan is even more important in the NBA than a focused offense. 102 year old Warrior coach Don Nelson has been mailing in seasons since about 1994 - it is pitiful that the Warrior organization allows him to continue collecting checks for just rolling balls out there, and occasionally making a substitution. NBA fans deserve better. Warrior fans ought to boo this team off the court every night. Just a group of guys looking to post numbers - someone has to change the culture there, and it has to start with changing the coach. He's a joke.
5) Mike Beasley: again, big first half, 14 points, went to the rim early, which set up his jump shot. Again, second half, refused to go to the basket, finished with 19 overall, including a garbage time triple. I don't know why he can't string two halves together - there has to be a night coming where he goes 18 and 19, for 37, doesn't there?
6) Okay, so if you remember last year we spent a lot of time analyzing the Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie, in which Tom Cruise goes back in time to try to kill Hitler. Clearly, one of the best movies of the year, although, to be fair, we still haven't actually seen it. Couple of new thoughts on it this week: 1) In Inglorious Bastards, which I did see, they do kill Hitler. That was sweet. 2) Taking a class on Nazis this semester in my graduate program. Not rushing to judgement, by the way - going to keep an open mind. Anyways, it turns out that the 1944 internal plot to kill Hitler, the one Tom Cruise traveled back in time to join, has through the years been portrayed as a liberal attempt to rescue Germany from totalitarianism but, in actuality, was little more than a power grab by another conservative, authoritarian faction within the German power structure. Cruise and his buddies may have thought that Hitler went a little bit too far, but they were bad guys themselves, and probably still would have done things like invade other countries, and prevent people from parking in spots that totally made sense, were safe, and weren't causing anyone any inconvenience whatsoever (you know, like here in Amerika!). Tom Cruise - I knew it, I knew you weren't being honest with us, you little stinker. You're glib...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Jazz 118 Heat 89
6 Thoughts
1) Miami got blown out for the second day in a row. I mean blown out - it was never really a game. Could have been worse - DWade went down with a first quarter wrist injury that had him walking to the bench holding his wrist gingerly. "At least he isn't going to the locker room, Eric, because you do that with serious injuries," Tony Fiorentino, doing his best to jinx the remainder of the season, told Eric Reid. Moments later, Wade got off the bench and went to the locker room with the trainer. Fortunately, he was back and in the game 6 or 7 minutes later - he misses any significant stretch of games, and you are going to see a nuclear winter in Miami. Even Wade couldn't help tonight, though. We could complain about individual performances...or, we could go to: Blowout Material! Let's do it!
2) New dessert: One part double chocolate pudding; one part creamy peanut butter; several crushed almonds; a sliced banana. Mix together, heat in microwave for about 35-45 seconds. I call it "Bananas Dos," and it is delightful. By the way, do what you like, but I am using sugar-free pudding - I have to be the sex symbol for all the very white, suburban moms at my kids' elementary school, so I need to stay in shape...
3) Food, pt. II. The Palm Beach County Fair, or whatever it is called, begins this Friday and runs for two weeks in western Palm Beach County. It is the one of the rare times I ever go west of Military Trail, and it is always my favorite day of the year. Close your eyes and imagine the best Christmas you ever had - now multiply it by 30. That's the Palm Beach County Fair. Come to think of it, it might be called the South Florida Fair? Whatever...The Captain and I plan for weeks what we are going to eat. Last year I had fried oreos, funnel cake, fried pickles, a giant turkey leg, and, of course, a piece of frozen chocolate covered cheesecake. The chocolate covered cheesecake runs about $6 a slice - one of the best bargains in the Western Hemisphere. Cap and I spent about 14 hours last year debating how much we would pay for a slice of this cheesecake. We decided that anything under $10, we're not even thinking about it, we pay it, we eat it, we couldn't be happier. When the price hits 10 bucks, maybe we think about it for a moment, but we definitely pay it. We figure about $15 is the tipping point. The Captain earned my ever-lasting respect last fair season when he got his wife to go to the fair on a day when he wasn't attending and bring him back a slice of the frozen cheesecake using a special cooler and an intricate parking/getaway plan. Yes, The Captain's got it like that...Anyways, he's going this Saturday, and I'll be going Monday, so we'll have a full report on what we eat in this space in a game next week. By the way, I've never been on a ride at the fair, or done anything at all, really, except eat...
4) Beginning of the end of Idol, just because Abdul is no longer there, and Simon is leaving? Balderdash! It's all about Randy Jackson, dawg!
5) The Captain and I made a list of the gayest Beatles songs today. And we mean "gay" in a completely non-homosexual way, not that there would be anything wrong with using it in the homosexual way, since we don't believe that there is anything at all wrong with being gay - I am huge in the LGBT community. To be fair, one of us was a more willing participant than the other one. First on the list: "Eleanor Rigby." Number two: "Taxman." By the way, those are different songs, right? That's as far as we got before The Captain pulled the plug: "You are daft," he complained. By the way, did you ever notice that "Beatles" is spelled with an "a" instead of another "e," like the beat of a song> Super-dope yo, those kids were geniae.
6) Album review: Murdering Oscar (and Other Love Songs) by Patterson Hood. He's from Drive-By Truckers, an alt-country band I've never listened to, and this solo album came out this past summer. Definitely: Listened to every Uncle Tupelo song ever made, and sided with Jay Farrar when he and Tweedy broke up the band. Murdering Oscar is like a Son Volt album with a different singer. Sounds like: The smartest kid in a rural high school figured out that if he tuned his guitar to a fuzzy twang and sang in a nasally rasp, he could get mad girls no matter what he looked like or did. For sure he unconvincingly screamed at his father at least once that "you don't understand me, man!" even though his dad was a liberal high school English teacher who was totally supportive of his music. Loves to: Start songs with just a distorted rhythm guitar and a mumbled verse, before stirring in the bass and drums, and gradually adding instruments as the song progresses. Songs don't surprise you, but he is definitely a skilled craftsman. Best songs: "I Understand Now," a pleasingly simple mid-tempo rocker about small town woman-troubles that will have you singing along by the second chorus, and "Walking Around Sense," a slower burner about a drunken, problematic mother-in-law which ends in the best instrumental jam on the album. Bonus: At the end of the first verse of "She's a Little Randy," the wife with the restless libido arguably fixes herself a John Daly. Overall: I just spent an hour working out to it, and it was pleasing. Definitely a keeper, though not a classic, nor even a heavy rotation candidate. Makes me want to check out Drive-By Truckers...
I think we are off until Wednesday, late game in Golden State. PS - Captain, put Deron Williams on The List of My Guys...
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1) Miami got blown out for the second day in a row. I mean blown out - it was never really a game. Could have been worse - DWade went down with a first quarter wrist injury that had him walking to the bench holding his wrist gingerly. "At least he isn't going to the locker room, Eric, because you do that with serious injuries," Tony Fiorentino, doing his best to jinx the remainder of the season, told Eric Reid. Moments later, Wade got off the bench and went to the locker room with the trainer. Fortunately, he was back and in the game 6 or 7 minutes later - he misses any significant stretch of games, and you are going to see a nuclear winter in Miami. Even Wade couldn't help tonight, though. We could complain about individual performances...or, we could go to: Blowout Material! Let's do it!
2) New dessert: One part double chocolate pudding; one part creamy peanut butter; several crushed almonds; a sliced banana. Mix together, heat in microwave for about 35-45 seconds. I call it "Bananas Dos," and it is delightful. By the way, do what you like, but I am using sugar-free pudding - I have to be the sex symbol for all the very white, suburban moms at my kids' elementary school, so I need to stay in shape...
3) Food, pt. II. The Palm Beach County Fair, or whatever it is called, begins this Friday and runs for two weeks in western Palm Beach County. It is the one of the rare times I ever go west of Military Trail, and it is always my favorite day of the year. Close your eyes and imagine the best Christmas you ever had - now multiply it by 30. That's the Palm Beach County Fair. Come to think of it, it might be called the South Florida Fair? Whatever...The Captain and I plan for weeks what we are going to eat. Last year I had fried oreos, funnel cake, fried pickles, a giant turkey leg, and, of course, a piece of frozen chocolate covered cheesecake. The chocolate covered cheesecake runs about $6 a slice - one of the best bargains in the Western Hemisphere. Cap and I spent about 14 hours last year debating how much we would pay for a slice of this cheesecake. We decided that anything under $10, we're not even thinking about it, we pay it, we eat it, we couldn't be happier. When the price hits 10 bucks, maybe we think about it for a moment, but we definitely pay it. We figure about $15 is the tipping point. The Captain earned my ever-lasting respect last fair season when he got his wife to go to the fair on a day when he wasn't attending and bring him back a slice of the frozen cheesecake using a special cooler and an intricate parking/getaway plan. Yes, The Captain's got it like that...Anyways, he's going this Saturday, and I'll be going Monday, so we'll have a full report on what we eat in this space in a game next week. By the way, I've never been on a ride at the fair, or done anything at all, really, except eat...
4) Beginning of the end of Idol, just because Abdul is no longer there, and Simon is leaving? Balderdash! It's all about Randy Jackson, dawg!
5) The Captain and I made a list of the gayest Beatles songs today. And we mean "gay" in a completely non-homosexual way, not that there would be anything wrong with using it in the homosexual way, since we don't believe that there is anything at all wrong with being gay - I am huge in the LGBT community. To be fair, one of us was a more willing participant than the other one. First on the list: "Eleanor Rigby." Number two: "Taxman." By the way, those are different songs, right? That's as far as we got before The Captain pulled the plug: "You are daft," he complained. By the way, did you ever notice that "Beatles" is spelled with an "a" instead of another "e," like the beat of a song> Super-dope yo, those kids were geniae.
6) Album review: Murdering Oscar (and Other Love Songs) by Patterson Hood. He's from Drive-By Truckers, an alt-country band I've never listened to, and this solo album came out this past summer. Definitely: Listened to every Uncle Tupelo song ever made, and sided with Jay Farrar when he and Tweedy broke up the band. Murdering Oscar is like a Son Volt album with a different singer. Sounds like: The smartest kid in a rural high school figured out that if he tuned his guitar to a fuzzy twang and sang in a nasally rasp, he could get mad girls no matter what he looked like or did. For sure he unconvincingly screamed at his father at least once that "you don't understand me, man!" even though his dad was a liberal high school English teacher who was totally supportive of his music. Loves to: Start songs with just a distorted rhythm guitar and a mumbled verse, before stirring in the bass and drums, and gradually adding instruments as the song progresses. Songs don't surprise you, but he is definitely a skilled craftsman. Best songs: "I Understand Now," a pleasingly simple mid-tempo rocker about small town woman-troubles that will have you singing along by the second chorus, and "Walking Around Sense," a slower burner about a drunken, problematic mother-in-law which ends in the best instrumental jam on the album. Bonus: At the end of the first verse of "She's a Little Randy," the wife with the restless libido arguably fixes herself a John Daly. Overall: I just spent an hour working out to it, and it was pleasing. Definitely a keeper, though not a classic, nor even a heavy rotation candidate. Makes me want to check out Drive-By Truckers...
I think we are off until Wednesday, late game in Golden State. PS - Captain, put Deron Williams on The List of My Guys...
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Sunday, January 10, 2010
Clippers 94 Heat 84
6 Thoughts
1) Over the course of 82 games in an NBA season, sometimes a team comes out with verve, and elan, and panache, and a certain joie de vivre - I took French in college, by the way, more on that later - and sometimes, ehhh, less so. Miami got absolutely pounded today in Los Angeles by the Clippers - the 10 point spread is no indication of how badly they got beaten. Even silver-tongued Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino was slightly off his game, mixing his metaphors in the third quarter when, after another Heat turnover, he lamented that "the Heat keep stabbing themselves in the foot." Ouch. "You never want to do that," agreed Eric Reid. Tony was also sporting a diagonally striped black tie on a vertically striped black shirt, "inspired by Heat assistant David Fizdale." Ouch. "Don't adjust your vertical hold folks," advised Reid. Heat are now 1-1 on the six game road trip, 18-17 overall.
2) Clipper point guard Baron Davis was great (14 assists). Big man Marcus Camby was great (17 rebounds in 31 minutes). Greatest of all was center Chris Kaman, who destroyed Miami inside with verve, elan, panache, and a certain joie de vivre. Also, great footwork, and a sweet jump hook. 22 points and 14 boards for the big guy - having a huge, all-star type year. In shape, as he is this year, he's as good an offensive center as there is in the NBA. I hate getting pounded, but it was a pleasure watching the two veteran Clipper big men work tonight - combined they had 31 rebounds, while Miami, as a team, had just 36.
3) Okay, this is not a complaint about the referees...Okay, it is, but I am not saying it had any effect on the game, it was just another odd, odd moment in the career of veteran, veteran ref Dick Bavetta. In the second quarter, Clipper forward Al Thornton steamed towards the hoop at approximately 90 miles an hour. President Quentin Richardson stepped up above the no-charge line and positioned himself in front of Thornton who, at the last moment, tried to slide by QRich who, ever so gently, eased a lean into Thornton's path. Large collision. Probably a charge, but Q did lean a little. Ref Joe Forte called a charge on Thornton. No, no, no, waved the elderly Bavetta - he wanted to call a block on The President. The refs conferred for several moments and then emerged to call a foul on both players . Seems impossible, right - doesn't it have to be either a block or a charge? No, I guess it does not, in Bavetta World. Doesn't it seem logical, though, since the referees were unable to do their jobs on this call - couldn't come to a consensus - to just "no call" the play, don't penalize either player, and give the ball back to the Clippers, since they had it before the refs couldn't decide what happened? Why penalize both Richardson and Thornton by giving them each a foul - what penalty did Bavetta and Forte get for not being able to make a call? Odd. Odd, odd decision. By the way, the exact same call happened earlier this season in a Heat game - the league office claims they review every play of every game in order to improve, but that is starting to seem less and less likely since Forte and Bavetta reached the same bizarrely odd conclusion. Furthermore, as the icing on the cake, on the ensuing jump ball, Bavetta blew his whistle after Camby quick-jumped the tap, which by rule is Heat ball, but Bavetta didn't award the ball to Miami, he called a re-jump while all the Heat players looked at him like their senile old grandfather - which he sort of is - only to watch Camby quick-jump the second tap which, mercifully, Bavetta just let go. Again - it's hard to believe that there is no other referee in the country - not one - who can beat out Dick Bavetta for his job. For the 35th consecutive year!
4) Halftime show, starring Jason Jackson, featured another edition of "Hot Seconds with Jax," the game show in which members of the Heat attempt to answer three questions from Jax, worth 2, 3 and 5 points in succession. A five pointer? Yeah, he made it up, but it can be the difference maker...Tonight's contestant - "Thunder" Yak Diawara. Yakhouba is from France, and the questions are often tailored to the player's interests (Mike Beasley's segment famously featured a Sponge Bob question which SuperCool answered correctly before Jax could even finish it). So Yak's first question, the 2 pointer, the easy question, was: "What is the name of Tony Parker's wife's character on 'Desperate Housewives.'" The premise being, Tony Parker is also from France, you know, so, "I thought maybe you watch the show to support Tony," said Jax. "Not really," said Yak. Oh. Oops. No idea. Yak called his timeout, but Jax really should have advised him to use his one substitute question - come on, Jax, help a French brother out with the rules!
5) Okay, Mike Beasley turned 21 yesterday, he was in Los Angeles, seemed worrisome. I was just hoping he show up for the game, let alone play well. But Mike came out strong, 15 first half points. He has this odd thing where he starts strong, driving to rim, early, but settles for jumpers in the second half - don't know if it is conditioning, or focus, or Miami runs their offense differently after halftime. In any case, Mike's on court maturity has been nice to follow - he's having a really good year, after a tough start the first two weeks. He's averaging 16 and 7 in 32 minutes a game, and looks fairly solid defensively. Keep growing, Jimmy Buckets, keep growing. Also, his 21st birthday reminded me of my own 21st glorious birthday many, many years ago. Went to Arbuckle's in Boston early in the afternoon with roommate and Dos reader Cincy D, drank between 2 and 7 Long Island Ice Teas, staggered back to my apartment, and wrote a French paper for my girlfriend who, incredibly, was an even worse student than I was. What was the paper on? Considering the condition I was in, I couldn't possibly remember. I'm not even sure I wrote it in French...
6) Finally, great game in Boynton Beach, Florida today, where P.Minutos' 5 year old team held on for an 8-6 win in a thrilla! The other team called a timeout down 2 with 20 seconds to go, and set up a brilliant play in which they took their point guard - and their only player who might conceivably score a basket - off the ball and put him on a wing, had another kid dribble it up, throw it over to the point guard who had a wide open 8 footer...which he airballed, out of bounds, ballgame, P.Minutos wins. Great design on the play, though - as NBA commentator Jeff Van Gundy says, you can design the best play in the world, but ultimately it comes down to making shots. P.Minutos' 5 year old league - just like the NBA - make or miss league!
Quick turnaround tomorrow in very, very cold - and very, very white - Utah!
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1) Over the course of 82 games in an NBA season, sometimes a team comes out with verve, and elan, and panache, and a certain joie de vivre - I took French in college, by the way, more on that later - and sometimes, ehhh, less so. Miami got absolutely pounded today in Los Angeles by the Clippers - the 10 point spread is no indication of how badly they got beaten. Even silver-tongued Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino was slightly off his game, mixing his metaphors in the third quarter when, after another Heat turnover, he lamented that "the Heat keep stabbing themselves in the foot." Ouch. "You never want to do that," agreed Eric Reid. Tony was also sporting a diagonally striped black tie on a vertically striped black shirt, "inspired by Heat assistant David Fizdale." Ouch. "Don't adjust your vertical hold folks," advised Reid. Heat are now 1-1 on the six game road trip, 18-17 overall.
2) Clipper point guard Baron Davis was great (14 assists). Big man Marcus Camby was great (17 rebounds in 31 minutes). Greatest of all was center Chris Kaman, who destroyed Miami inside with verve, elan, panache, and a certain joie de vivre. Also, great footwork, and a sweet jump hook. 22 points and 14 boards for the big guy - having a huge, all-star type year. In shape, as he is this year, he's as good an offensive center as there is in the NBA. I hate getting pounded, but it was a pleasure watching the two veteran Clipper big men work tonight - combined they had 31 rebounds, while Miami, as a team, had just 36.
3) Okay, this is not a complaint about the referees...Okay, it is, but I am not saying it had any effect on the game, it was just another odd, odd moment in the career of veteran, veteran ref Dick Bavetta. In the second quarter, Clipper forward Al Thornton steamed towards the hoop at approximately 90 miles an hour. President Quentin Richardson stepped up above the no-charge line and positioned himself in front of Thornton who, at the last moment, tried to slide by QRich who, ever so gently, eased a lean into Thornton's path. Large collision. Probably a charge, but Q did lean a little. Ref Joe Forte called a charge on Thornton. No, no, no, waved the elderly Bavetta - he wanted to call a block on The President. The refs conferred for several moments and then emerged to call a foul on both players . Seems impossible, right - doesn't it have to be either a block or a charge? No, I guess it does not, in Bavetta World. Doesn't it seem logical, though, since the referees were unable to do their jobs on this call - couldn't come to a consensus - to just "no call" the play, don't penalize either player, and give the ball back to the Clippers, since they had it before the refs couldn't decide what happened? Why penalize both Richardson and Thornton by giving them each a foul - what penalty did Bavetta and Forte get for not being able to make a call? Odd. Odd, odd decision. By the way, the exact same call happened earlier this season in a Heat game - the league office claims they review every play of every game in order to improve, but that is starting to seem less and less likely since Forte and Bavetta reached the same bizarrely odd conclusion. Furthermore, as the icing on the cake, on the ensuing jump ball, Bavetta blew his whistle after Camby quick-jumped the tap, which by rule is Heat ball, but Bavetta didn't award the ball to Miami, he called a re-jump while all the Heat players looked at him like their senile old grandfather - which he sort of is - only to watch Camby quick-jump the second tap which, mercifully, Bavetta just let go. Again - it's hard to believe that there is no other referee in the country - not one - who can beat out Dick Bavetta for his job. For the 35th consecutive year!
4) Halftime show, starring Jason Jackson, featured another edition of "Hot Seconds with Jax," the game show in which members of the Heat attempt to answer three questions from Jax, worth 2, 3 and 5 points in succession. A five pointer? Yeah, he made it up, but it can be the difference maker...Tonight's contestant - "Thunder" Yak Diawara. Yakhouba is from France, and the questions are often tailored to the player's interests (Mike Beasley's segment famously featured a Sponge Bob question which SuperCool answered correctly before Jax could even finish it). So Yak's first question, the 2 pointer, the easy question, was: "What is the name of Tony Parker's wife's character on 'Desperate Housewives.'" The premise being, Tony Parker is also from France, you know, so, "I thought maybe you watch the show to support Tony," said Jax. "Not really," said Yak. Oh. Oops. No idea. Yak called his timeout, but Jax really should have advised him to use his one substitute question - come on, Jax, help a French brother out with the rules!
5) Okay, Mike Beasley turned 21 yesterday, he was in Los Angeles, seemed worrisome. I was just hoping he show up for the game, let alone play well. But Mike came out strong, 15 first half points. He has this odd thing where he starts strong, driving to rim, early, but settles for jumpers in the second half - don't know if it is conditioning, or focus, or Miami runs their offense differently after halftime. In any case, Mike's on court maturity has been nice to follow - he's having a really good year, after a tough start the first two weeks. He's averaging 16 and 7 in 32 minutes a game, and looks fairly solid defensively. Keep growing, Jimmy Buckets, keep growing. Also, his 21st birthday reminded me of my own 21st glorious birthday many, many years ago. Went to Arbuckle's in Boston early in the afternoon with roommate and Dos reader Cincy D, drank between 2 and 7 Long Island Ice Teas, staggered back to my apartment, and wrote a French paper for my girlfriend who, incredibly, was an even worse student than I was. What was the paper on? Considering the condition I was in, I couldn't possibly remember. I'm not even sure I wrote it in French...
6) Finally, great game in Boynton Beach, Florida today, where P.Minutos' 5 year old team held on for an 8-6 win in a thrilla! The other team called a timeout down 2 with 20 seconds to go, and set up a brilliant play in which they took their point guard - and their only player who might conceivably score a basket - off the ball and put him on a wing, had another kid dribble it up, throw it over to the point guard who had a wide open 8 footer...which he airballed, out of bounds, ballgame, P.Minutos wins. Great design on the play, though - as NBA commentator Jeff Van Gundy says, you can design the best play in the world, but ultimately it comes down to making shots. P.Minutos' 5 year old league - just like the NBA - make or miss league!
Quick turnaround tomorrow in very, very cold - and very, very white - Utah!
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Saturday, January 9, 2010
Heat 109 Suns 105
6 Thoughts
1) Big win in Phoenix! Start of 6 game West Coast road trip! Heat stay above .500 (18-16)! New point guard! My internet is down! Writing this in Starbucks! Lots of exclamation points! I don't normally drink coffee! It's 45 degrees and raining in Florida and I've poured enough hot caffeine down my throat to fuel a small airplane! Ehhhhhaahhhhh!
2) On Tuesday, the New Jersey Nets bought out the remaining few months of veteran point guard Rafer Alston's contract. When you are a 33 year old point guard with a certain amount of elan, you are happy to get off a team that currently sits at 3-33. How happy? Alston gave back a million dollars to the Nets to get released. He'll make some of that back on the prorated deal the Heat gave him for the balance of the season...In a subsequent transaction, the Heat traded third string point guard Chris Quinn to New Jersey for...well, for nothing, essentially. And they had to pay his salary in the form of a cash payment to the Nets. No word on whether they had to pay Quinn any money to report to The Swamp. Quinny was a favorite here at Dos, actually, he saved a game for them with a huge three in Golden State last year, and The Captain and I will be sure to tip a little over for you next time we are throwing back cold ones, Quinny. Godspeed!
3) Rafer Alston is a true New York City point guard. Played for Miami in 2003-4, during Wade and Haslem's rookie years. Heat started 0-7 that year, but came back to make the playoffs, thanks in part to Alston's outstanding year, which earned him a big free agent deal from Toronto following the season. Alston always claimed he was loathe to leave Miami, but the Heat couldn't match the financial package Toronto offered. Comes with the handle "Skip to my Lou," or "Skip" for short. Outstanding ball handler, knows how to run an offense. Not much of a scorer, but significantly large cojones. And there he was, thrust into the starting lineup last night, late in a tight game, running a high pick-and-roll. Steve Nash, his defender went under the screen. The big man, Amare Stoudamire, hesitated for a moment. Skip pulled a three - Stinky! Ran back down the court with a huge grin on his face - back home, baby!
4) Miami was expected to waive Carlos Arroyo's non-guaranteed deal as part of the Alston transaction, but showed a certain amount of class by, instead, guaranteeing Arroyo for the rest of the season. I liked that. Arroyo didn't play last night - Emcee Chalmers served as Skip's backup - but I noticed Arroyo was one of the first guys up off the bench after every big play - maybe that's one of the reasons he got guaranteed. In this vein, one thing Alston will bring to this team, besides superior point guard skills, is a certain joie de vivre, a moxie, that is too often missing with this group. Wade is intense, Haslem is stoic, Beasley is spacey, Chalmers is shy, JO is...not sure what JO is. Thinking about Connect Four strategies? Skip Alston is fired up. Like this: FIRED UP! Skip gave and received more dap during the game last night than the rest of the Heat had given and received during the first 33 games of the season combined. Is Rafer going to turn the season around, or make the Heat a contender? No. But he should make the game more fun.
5) One more thing about Skip: I almost forgot that, in an NBA game, your point is allowed to attempt to impede the progress of the opposing team's point guard. Skip dogged Steve Nash all night, fought him, tried to be physical with him. Nash is incredible, and still had 12 assists. But he had only 16 points on 6-14 shooting - in large part because Skip made him take tough, contested shots. Skip is bigger, more physical, and more dogged than the other Heat point guards - that can only help.
6) Wade was ridiculous and multi-faceted throughout the night. Reportedly he is good friends with Alston, and he seemed to be playing with more energy. Had 33 points, 9 rebounds, and 8 assists, along with 3 steals. Before the game, Alston described the nature of his reunion with Wade. "The first time I was here, he was a rookie, and I spent a lot of time telling him what to do; now, I am going to listen to what he tells me to do," laughed Skip.
Road trip continues Sunday in LA, against the Clippers. Some bad recent memories in that building, boy. Some baaaad, recent memories.
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1) Big win in Phoenix! Start of 6 game West Coast road trip! Heat stay above .500 (18-16)! New point guard! My internet is down! Writing this in Starbucks! Lots of exclamation points! I don't normally drink coffee! It's 45 degrees and raining in Florida and I've poured enough hot caffeine down my throat to fuel a small airplane! Ehhhhhaahhhhh!
2) On Tuesday, the New Jersey Nets bought out the remaining few months of veteran point guard Rafer Alston's contract. When you are a 33 year old point guard with a certain amount of elan, you are happy to get off a team that currently sits at 3-33. How happy? Alston gave back a million dollars to the Nets to get released. He'll make some of that back on the prorated deal the Heat gave him for the balance of the season...In a subsequent transaction, the Heat traded third string point guard Chris Quinn to New Jersey for...well, for nothing, essentially. And they had to pay his salary in the form of a cash payment to the Nets. No word on whether they had to pay Quinn any money to report to The Swamp. Quinny was a favorite here at Dos, actually, he saved a game for them with a huge three in Golden State last year, and The Captain and I will be sure to tip a little over for you next time we are throwing back cold ones, Quinny. Godspeed!
3) Rafer Alston is a true New York City point guard. Played for Miami in 2003-4, during Wade and Haslem's rookie years. Heat started 0-7 that year, but came back to make the playoffs, thanks in part to Alston's outstanding year, which earned him a big free agent deal from Toronto following the season. Alston always claimed he was loathe to leave Miami, but the Heat couldn't match the financial package Toronto offered. Comes with the handle "Skip to my Lou," or "Skip" for short. Outstanding ball handler, knows how to run an offense. Not much of a scorer, but significantly large cojones. And there he was, thrust into the starting lineup last night, late in a tight game, running a high pick-and-roll. Steve Nash, his defender went under the screen. The big man, Amare Stoudamire, hesitated for a moment. Skip pulled a three - Stinky! Ran back down the court with a huge grin on his face - back home, baby!
4) Miami was expected to waive Carlos Arroyo's non-guaranteed deal as part of the Alston transaction, but showed a certain amount of class by, instead, guaranteeing Arroyo for the rest of the season. I liked that. Arroyo didn't play last night - Emcee Chalmers served as Skip's backup - but I noticed Arroyo was one of the first guys up off the bench after every big play - maybe that's one of the reasons he got guaranteed. In this vein, one thing Alston will bring to this team, besides superior point guard skills, is a certain joie de vivre, a moxie, that is too often missing with this group. Wade is intense, Haslem is stoic, Beasley is spacey, Chalmers is shy, JO is...not sure what JO is. Thinking about Connect Four strategies? Skip Alston is fired up. Like this: FIRED UP! Skip gave and received more dap during the game last night than the rest of the Heat had given and received during the first 33 games of the season combined. Is Rafer going to turn the season around, or make the Heat a contender? No. But he should make the game more fun.
5) One more thing about Skip: I almost forgot that, in an NBA game, your point is allowed to attempt to impede the progress of the opposing team's point guard. Skip dogged Steve Nash all night, fought him, tried to be physical with him. Nash is incredible, and still had 12 assists. But he had only 16 points on 6-14 shooting - in large part because Skip made him take tough, contested shots. Skip is bigger, more physical, and more dogged than the other Heat point guards - that can only help.
6) Wade was ridiculous and multi-faceted throughout the night. Reportedly he is good friends with Alston, and he seemed to be playing with more energy. Had 33 points, 9 rebounds, and 8 assists, along with 3 steals. Before the game, Alston described the nature of his reunion with Wade. "The first time I was here, he was a rookie, and I spent a lot of time telling him what to do; now, I am going to listen to what he tells me to do," laughed Skip.
Road trip continues Sunday in LA, against the Clippers. Some bad recent memories in that building, boy. Some baaaad, recent memories.
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Celtics 112 Heat 106 (ot)
6 Thoughts
1) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
2) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
3) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
4) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
5) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
6) Okay, I can't do it like Rasheed...When you lose a game in large part because with a minute to go in a tie game at home against one of the best teams in basketball, Paul Pierce receives an inbounds pass 25 feet from the basket, and swings around and inadvertently catches the motionless Quentin Richardson in the jaw with an elbow, knocking QRich to the ground, and the only two possible calls are an offensive foul on Pierce, or no call at all, and Leon Wood, who played in the NBA approximately a hundred years ago and should know better, calls a foul on Richardson, and the fairly level-headed Q gets up and disputes the call, without histrionics, and then another referee, Courtney Kirkland, who didn't make the original horrific call against QRich and thus really has no involvement in the matter whatsoever, gives Q a technical from 25 feet away, both calls essentially costing the Heat three points in a tie game, and then on the ensuing possession, Rasheed Wallace, who has led the NBA in technical fouls for the better part of the past half-century, fouls out in a scrum under the basket in which he attempted to pull Udonis Haslem's arm out of its socket, and he goes wild, stomping out to midcourt screaming expletives at the top of his lungs, and no technical foul is called, and even after the other Celtics shepherd him to the bench, and the very, very white Brian Scalabrine is attempting calm him down, and Sheed is still screaming expletives over the top of Scalabrine - how do we know this? Because you could hear him on tv - and there is still no technical, and then the game comes down to the last play, and Miami, instead of winning by the 1, 2, or 3 points they got raked out of, ends up tied and in overtime, and then loses in overtime, I mean, that's a tough, tough way to lose a game. And basketball is just for fun and all, but, honestly, that didn't seem like much fun. And by the way, Sheed's screaming shouldn't have been a technical - but neither should Q's. Referees deciding games sucks. Oh, one more thing: if I told you that the Heat lost a game tonight because a referee gave an incredibly bizarre technical foul in the last minute of the game, and Joey Crawford was one of the three referees on the court, how certain would you have been that Joey Crawford was the ref who gave the incredibly bizarre technical foul? 100 percent, or 101 percent? I mean, he challenged Tim Duncan to a fight. During a game. While Duncan was sitting on the bench. And got summarily fired. And then, somehow, rehired...This is the spot where I would normally make the Gilbert Arenas gun joke about the referees, but I'll refrain, since I already have a $25,000 fine coming from the league office...Ahh, well, it was a good game, and both teams did play hard. Love that Sheed!
On the road for 19 of the next 24. Uh oh. See you Friday in PHX!
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1) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
2) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
3) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
4) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
5) It was a good game; both teams played hard.
6) Okay, I can't do it like Rasheed...When you lose a game in large part because with a minute to go in a tie game at home against one of the best teams in basketball, Paul Pierce receives an inbounds pass 25 feet from the basket, and swings around and inadvertently catches the motionless Quentin Richardson in the jaw with an elbow, knocking QRich to the ground, and the only two possible calls are an offensive foul on Pierce, or no call at all, and Leon Wood, who played in the NBA approximately a hundred years ago and should know better, calls a foul on Richardson, and the fairly level-headed Q gets up and disputes the call, without histrionics, and then another referee, Courtney Kirkland, who didn't make the original horrific call against QRich and thus really has no involvement in the matter whatsoever, gives Q a technical from 25 feet away, both calls essentially costing the Heat three points in a tie game, and then on the ensuing possession, Rasheed Wallace, who has led the NBA in technical fouls for the better part of the past half-century, fouls out in a scrum under the basket in which he attempted to pull Udonis Haslem's arm out of its socket, and he goes wild, stomping out to midcourt screaming expletives at the top of his lungs, and no technical foul is called, and even after the other Celtics shepherd him to the bench, and the very, very white Brian Scalabrine is attempting calm him down, and Sheed is still screaming expletives over the top of Scalabrine - how do we know this? Because you could hear him on tv - and there is still no technical, and then the game comes down to the last play, and Miami, instead of winning by the 1, 2, or 3 points they got raked out of, ends up tied and in overtime, and then loses in overtime, I mean, that's a tough, tough way to lose a game. And basketball is just for fun and all, but, honestly, that didn't seem like much fun. And by the way, Sheed's screaming shouldn't have been a technical - but neither should Q's. Referees deciding games sucks. Oh, one more thing: if I told you that the Heat lost a game tonight because a referee gave an incredibly bizarre technical foul in the last minute of the game, and Joey Crawford was one of the three referees on the court, how certain would you have been that Joey Crawford was the ref who gave the incredibly bizarre technical foul? 100 percent, or 101 percent? I mean, he challenged Tim Duncan to a fight. During a game. While Duncan was sitting on the bench. And got summarily fired. And then, somehow, rehired...This is the spot where I would normally make the Gilbert Arenas gun joke about the referees, but I'll refrain, since I already have a $25,000 fine coming from the league office...Ahh, well, it was a good game, and both teams did play hard. Love that Sheed!
On the road for 19 of the next 24. Uh oh. See you Friday in PHX!
-----
Monday, January 4, 2010
Heat 92 Hawks 75
6 Thoughts
1) Exactly when did you say the Hawks got into Miami? Because I am preeetttty sure it wasn't today...Schedule says their last game was Friday, in New York? I am thinking a night out in the big city, followed by a mid-morning flight to The MIA, Saturday night and Sunday night in South Beach...Yup, that seems about right. Hawks came in on a three game losing streak they had to be itching to break, usually give DWade fits, and eliminated Miami in the playoffs last year - seemed like a recipe for disaster. But the Hawk energy level was on about a .2, or just slightly higher than their collective blood alcohol level by about 2 am last night. Even Mike Woodson, the always laid-back Hawk coach, seemed slightly more comatose than normal. Look, I'm not blaming them: I had one Bloody Mary at the Eden Roc last Sunday and I wasn't myself for three days - I'm just glad the Heat got off their own three game slide.
2) The Heat, for the second straight game, jumped out to a huge early lead behind Mike Beasley, who had 20 in the first half for the second time in a week. Starting to think Beasley might be Josh Smith's kryptonite - Smith has a clear length and athletic advantage over Jimmy Buckets, but couldn't keep him in front of him, and couldn't get inside to go over him on the other end. Beas had a quiet second half to finish with 22 and 8, but Smith had only 9 on 3-8 shooting, with 6 boards. That's a big individual matchup win for the Heat.
3) Another big win: shutting down Joe Johnson with the Wade Rules. Much as Atlanta tries to trap Wade off of every pick and roll, Miami trapped Johnson as hard as they could off ball screens, forcing him to give the ball up. It is a well-known basketball adage that teams-who-love-to-hard-trap-opposing-shooting-guards-off-ball-screens-hate-to-have-their-shooting-guard-hard-trapped-off-ball-screens...or something like that. In any case, Wade had an efficient 28 points, with 8 rebounds, while Johnson was held to 11 on 4-15 shooting. The Heat's two best players smoked the Hawks two best players. Most nights in the NBA, that is enough.
4) The one time that Mike Woodson stirred from the Hawk bench was midway through the second quarter when someone from the crowd kept blowing a shrill whistle that was distracting the players, or at least Mike Woodson. The same guy must have been at Saturday's game as well, because it seemed that the same problem arose. Forget the obvious question, which is: why would anyone want to blow a shrill whistle while sitting in the crowd during a basketball game? Okay, maybe one time would be funny if you got someone to miss a free throw - I mean, if you were like fifteen years old, and you thought that kind of juvenile behavior was funny, which I, of course, don't. The more important question really is: if the whistle is that shrill - and it was - how does someone in the stands sitting near the guy not just punch him in the face? Not for distracting the game necessarily, but for blowing a shrill whistle like two feet from your head? In any case, they got the whistling stopped, and Mike Woodson went back to sleep on the Hawks bench.
5) Jermaine O'Neal. Out: strained hip flexor. In: beige jacket with epaulets. And not the first time he's worn it. Sweet!
6) Okay, The Captain weighed in on the Mike Beasley afro, which, sadly, was gone today, despite reports from a Heat insider that he was still sporting it as late as yesterday at a Heat season ticket holder event:
Having M Minutos write Saturday's blog might be the smartest thing that Dos has done so far. By the way, in highschool, I too sported a kind of an "Italiafro" for a few years. Mine was completely natural and not as tightly kinked as the Beas', but fro-like none the less. To view my wop-a-fro, refer to any Syracuse, NY vice blotter between 1971 to 1973. Enter the key word: CAPTAIN.
Well, we looked it up. Not sure The Captain would want us to share, but:
In a related story, M.Minutos and I spent another good forty minutes watching The Transporter last night based solely on the fact that The Transporter and I have the exact same male pattern baldness shaved haircuts. Eerie. M.Minutos, graciously, pointed out that she thinks I am more handsome than The Transporter, although we both agree that I can't fill out an old-school Ban-Lon polo shirt buttoned to the top like he can. Striking physique, if I do say so myself. Almost as nice as Bradley Cooper's, who combines The Transporter's beefiness with my natural lankiness...
Next game, Wednesday vs. Boston. Kevin Garnett: out. Paul Pierce: questionable. South Beach: open, so let's hope they get here early.
-----
1) Exactly when did you say the Hawks got into Miami? Because I am preeetttty sure it wasn't today...Schedule says their last game was Friday, in New York? I am thinking a night out in the big city, followed by a mid-morning flight to The MIA, Saturday night and Sunday night in South Beach...Yup, that seems about right. Hawks came in on a three game losing streak they had to be itching to break, usually give DWade fits, and eliminated Miami in the playoffs last year - seemed like a recipe for disaster. But the Hawk energy level was on about a .2, or just slightly higher than their collective blood alcohol level by about 2 am last night. Even Mike Woodson, the always laid-back Hawk coach, seemed slightly more comatose than normal. Look, I'm not blaming them: I had one Bloody Mary at the Eden Roc last Sunday and I wasn't myself for three days - I'm just glad the Heat got off their own three game slide.
2) The Heat, for the second straight game, jumped out to a huge early lead behind Mike Beasley, who had 20 in the first half for the second time in a week. Starting to think Beasley might be Josh Smith's kryptonite - Smith has a clear length and athletic advantage over Jimmy Buckets, but couldn't keep him in front of him, and couldn't get inside to go over him on the other end. Beas had a quiet second half to finish with 22 and 8, but Smith had only 9 on 3-8 shooting, with 6 boards. That's a big individual matchup win for the Heat.
3) Another big win: shutting down Joe Johnson with the Wade Rules. Much as Atlanta tries to trap Wade off of every pick and roll, Miami trapped Johnson as hard as they could off ball screens, forcing him to give the ball up. It is a well-known basketball adage that teams-who-love-to-hard-trap-opposing-shooting-guards-off-ball-screens-hate-to-have-their-shooting-guard-hard-trapped-off-ball-screens...or something like that. In any case, Wade had an efficient 28 points, with 8 rebounds, while Johnson was held to 11 on 4-15 shooting. The Heat's two best players smoked the Hawks two best players. Most nights in the NBA, that is enough.
4) The one time that Mike Woodson stirred from the Hawk bench was midway through the second quarter when someone from the crowd kept blowing a shrill whistle that was distracting the players, or at least Mike Woodson. The same guy must have been at Saturday's game as well, because it seemed that the same problem arose. Forget the obvious question, which is: why would anyone want to blow a shrill whistle while sitting in the crowd during a basketball game? Okay, maybe one time would be funny if you got someone to miss a free throw - I mean, if you were like fifteen years old, and you thought that kind of juvenile behavior was funny, which I, of course, don't. The more important question really is: if the whistle is that shrill - and it was - how does someone in the stands sitting near the guy not just punch him in the face? Not for distracting the game necessarily, but for blowing a shrill whistle like two feet from your head? In any case, they got the whistling stopped, and Mike Woodson went back to sleep on the Hawks bench.
5) Jermaine O'Neal. Out: strained hip flexor. In: beige jacket with epaulets. And not the first time he's worn it. Sweet!
6) Okay, The Captain weighed in on the Mike Beasley afro, which, sadly, was gone today, despite reports from a Heat insider that he was still sporting it as late as yesterday at a Heat season ticket holder event:
Having M Minutos write Saturday's blog might be the smartest thing that Dos has done so far. By the way, in highschool, I too sported a kind of an "Italiafro" for a few years. Mine was completely natural and not as tightly kinked as the Beas', but fro-like none the less. To view my wop-a-fro, refer to any Syracuse, NY vice blotter between 1971 to 1973. Enter the key word: CAPTAIN.
Well, we looked it up. Not sure The Captain would want us to share, but:
In a related story, M.Minutos and I spent another good forty minutes watching The Transporter last night based solely on the fact that The Transporter and I have the exact same male pattern baldness shaved haircuts. Eerie. M.Minutos, graciously, pointed out that she thinks I am more handsome than The Transporter, although we both agree that I can't fill out an old-school Ban-Lon polo shirt buttoned to the top like he can. Striking physique, if I do say so myself. Almost as nice as Bradley Cooper's, who combines The Transporter's beefiness with my natural lankiness...
Next game, Wednesday vs. Boston. Kevin Garnett: out. Paul Pierce: questionable. South Beach: open, so let's hope they get here early.
-----
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Bobcast 107 Heat 97
Disheartening loss to a team that had won only one game on the road coming in to today, made worse by the fact that Miami led by nineteen in the first quarter. Miami spent the rest of the game being outworked, outquicked, and pushed around, including Dwyane Wade who was physically overwhelmed on both ends of the court by Stephen Jackson. Brutal. With a daunting road schedule ahead, this was a bad, bad home loss, one that drops Miami to 16-15 overall.
Attended the game with O. and P. Minutos. Their respective scorecards: O. - pizza, cotton candy, ice cream; P - hot dog (dog only, no bun), cotton candy, ice cream, somewhere between 4-12 bathroom breaks. Followed it up with dinner on South Beach at Big Pink with Julia Roberts (not the real one). Why, you may ask, did I take a 5 year old and a 7 year old to South Beach for dinner on a Saturday night? Good question: Because that's how we do!
Anyways, M.Minutos used the alone time to get a massage, relax, and then watch the game on tv. Found a little time to craft her own perspective on the game, so instead of 6 Thoughts, as a special treat, we are giving her the floor. Without no further ado:
You may use any or none of my report. I just felt it was my responsibility to contribute since you were at the game.
As always, I’m leaving the real basketball analysis to the professionals. Also, the game was infuriating and I don’t want to talk about it. Since most of the Minutos clan was watching the game in person, I felt it was my responsibility to provide highlights from the television broadcast:
• Though it was the 10th anniversary of the first game ever played in the AAA, Eric and Tony spent little time waxing nostalgic, instead focusing on the Beas Markie’s fro. According to Jax, this was a one-time only fro appearance, but there was no explanation of why today, why not before, and why not the rest of the season.
In case you missed it, behold the fro:
Eric Reid claimed to have worn a similar hairstyle back in high school in Massapequa, NY. Tony then accused him of trying to seem taller to attract the ladies, which Reid didn’t deny.
• With 7 minutes left in the first quarter, J.O. blocked a half-hearted Diaw shot. Since we were up about 300 points, the boys were feeling loose and Tony suggested that Diaw might have put on a few pounds, since he looked like he was unable to jump. Chortles all around.
• With 4:55 left in the first, Q Rich missed a three and B-Easy dunks on the follow. Reid, losing his cool a bit: “OOOOOOHHHHH! The afro lives!”
• More gloating to end the first quarter, as Reid charts the Bobcats’ “dubious fortunes” with recent first-round picks, which include, among other notables, Adam Morrison.
• Halftime treat: Hot Seconds with Jax, featuring Supercool Beas.
Current standings:
1. Chalmers – 10 points
2. Quinn – 5
3. Coach Spo – 5
4. Q-Rich – 5
5. Natural Butterfingers – 3
6. UD – 2
7. Cook – 2
8. James Jones - 2
Question 1 for Mike made me wish O. and P. were watching: “On the show SpongeBob SquarePants, what is Mr. Krabs’ first name?”
It took Mike about 1/10th of a second to answer: “Eugene.” Sounds like he’d fit right in here at Dos headquarters, where SpongeBob plays in a continuous loop. Of course, O and P Minutos are 7 and 5 years old, and Beas will be 21 in 8 days…
Question 2: Beasley is the highest draft pick in Heat history (#2), but who is the next highest? Unfortunately, Mike answered before Jax finished the question, and he answered incorrectly. Nope, it’s not D. Wade (#5); it’s Glen Rice (#4 in the 1989 draft).
Next we came to the interview portion of the show, when Jax asked this very important question about hair: “Is there a commitment to the rows, over the fro, over the tight cut?”
The Beas Markie answered (while slowly turning his head from side to side to model the braids): “Honestly, the only reason I got corn rows is because no one else likes them.”
Okay, great.
Mike finished strong with the final question, which asked that he name 5 mascots from the Big 12 Conference. He did it with ease and aplomb, then snatched the cue cards from Jax and threatened to take over the show and rename it Hot Seconds with The Beas. “Now I’m going to ask YOU some questions…”
7 points total for Mike – vaulted right up there past Spo, Quinn and President Q.
• The rest of the game was depressing and even Eric Reid couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. The only other comment of note occurred in the middle of the 4th quarter. Completely out of the blue, Tony said: “You know, with that afro, Beasley looks like an old professional basketball player, Bingo Smith.” Eric Reid responded with a long silence.
In case you, unlike Eric, want to delve deeper into the Bingo Smith issue, here you go:
http://hoopedia.nba.com/index.php?title=Bingo_Smith
• Steffan Jackson had 35 points and 8 rebounds today, including 4 threes. I think he hates what J. O. did to him when they were teammates in Indiana.
- M. Minutos, reporting from Dos headquarters
-----
Attended the game with O. and P. Minutos. Their respective scorecards: O. - pizza, cotton candy, ice cream; P - hot dog (dog only, no bun), cotton candy, ice cream, somewhere between 4-12 bathroom breaks. Followed it up with dinner on South Beach at Big Pink with Julia Roberts (not the real one). Why, you may ask, did I take a 5 year old and a 7 year old to South Beach for dinner on a Saturday night? Good question: Because that's how we do!
Anyways, M.Minutos used the alone time to get a massage, relax, and then watch the game on tv. Found a little time to craft her own perspective on the game, so instead of 6 Thoughts, as a special treat, we are giving her the floor. Without no further ado:
You may use any or none of my report. I just felt it was my responsibility to contribute since you were at the game.
As always, I’m leaving the real basketball analysis to the professionals. Also, the game was infuriating and I don’t want to talk about it. Since most of the Minutos clan was watching the game in person, I felt it was my responsibility to provide highlights from the television broadcast:
• Though it was the 10th anniversary of the first game ever played in the AAA, Eric and Tony spent little time waxing nostalgic, instead focusing on the Beas Markie’s fro. According to Jax, this was a one-time only fro appearance, but there was no explanation of why today, why not before, and why not the rest of the season.
In case you missed it, behold the fro:
Eric Reid claimed to have worn a similar hairstyle back in high school in Massapequa, NY. Tony then accused him of trying to seem taller to attract the ladies, which Reid didn’t deny.
• With 7 minutes left in the first quarter, J.O. blocked a half-hearted Diaw shot. Since we were up about 300 points, the boys were feeling loose and Tony suggested that Diaw might have put on a few pounds, since he looked like he was unable to jump. Chortles all around.
• With 4:55 left in the first, Q Rich missed a three and B-Easy dunks on the follow. Reid, losing his cool a bit: “OOOOOOHHHHH! The afro lives!”
• More gloating to end the first quarter, as Reid charts the Bobcats’ “dubious fortunes” with recent first-round picks, which include, among other notables, Adam Morrison.
• Halftime treat: Hot Seconds with Jax, featuring Supercool Beas.
Current standings:
1. Chalmers – 10 points
2. Quinn – 5
3. Coach Spo – 5
4. Q-Rich – 5
5. Natural Butterfingers – 3
6. UD – 2
7. Cook – 2
8. James Jones - 2
Question 1 for Mike made me wish O. and P. were watching: “On the show SpongeBob SquarePants, what is Mr. Krabs’ first name?”
It took Mike about 1/10th of a second to answer: “Eugene.” Sounds like he’d fit right in here at Dos headquarters, where SpongeBob plays in a continuous loop. Of course, O and P Minutos are 7 and 5 years old, and Beas will be 21 in 8 days…
Question 2: Beasley is the highest draft pick in Heat history (#2), but who is the next highest? Unfortunately, Mike answered before Jax finished the question, and he answered incorrectly. Nope, it’s not D. Wade (#5); it’s Glen Rice (#4 in the 1989 draft).
Next we came to the interview portion of the show, when Jax asked this very important question about hair: “Is there a commitment to the rows, over the fro, over the tight cut?”
The Beas Markie answered (while slowly turning his head from side to side to model the braids): “Honestly, the only reason I got corn rows is because no one else likes them.”
Okay, great.
Mike finished strong with the final question, which asked that he name 5 mascots from the Big 12 Conference. He did it with ease and aplomb, then snatched the cue cards from Jax and threatened to take over the show and rename it Hot Seconds with The Beas. “Now I’m going to ask YOU some questions…”
7 points total for Mike – vaulted right up there past Spo, Quinn and President Q.
• The rest of the game was depressing and even Eric Reid couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. The only other comment of note occurred in the middle of the 4th quarter. Completely out of the blue, Tony said: “You know, with that afro, Beasley looks like an old professional basketball player, Bingo Smith.” Eric Reid responded with a long silence.
In case you, unlike Eric, want to delve deeper into the Bingo Smith issue, here you go:
http://hoopedia.nba.com/index.php?title=Bingo_Smith
• Steffan Jackson had 35 points and 8 rebounds today, including 4 threes. I think he hates what J. O. did to him when they were teammates in Indiana.
- M. Minutos, reporting from Dos headquarters
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