1) This is the eighth straight blowout game Miami has been involved in. Four wins, four losses. Tomorrow night, home against Sacramento - need to get two straight in here somewhere. Sacramento is getting blown out in Orlando tonight, and hopefully will get to South Beach late, check out Bed, spend the day hungover on the beach tomorrow, and be ready to get blown out again tomorrow evening. By the way, a warning: if you are in South Beach in the wee hours this morning, and see a 6'11" white guy in a yellow jacket and green tie with the Space Needle on it, it just might be Sacramento big man Spencer Hawes. You know, this guy:
2) The Wizards were without starting point guard Gilbert Arenas tonight. Don't know where he was. Could be his troublesome knee flaring up - not sure. Haven't heard much about him lately, wonder what he has been up to. Will try to google him after writing the blog and see if I can find anything out. I'll report back to you tomorrow.
3) So, Friday night games are tough, usually, I am tired from the week, O. and P. Minutos aren't required to go to bed early, so they usually stay up to watch the game, and they ask questions non-stop. By the time you are 5 or 6 years old, or whatever P.Minutos is, you should really have the difference between a zone and man-to-man down, shouldn't you? Dang. Anyways, tonight, I came in uncharacteristically focused and fired up, fueled partially by a giant homemade milkshake consisting of one part premium vanilla ice cream, one part chocolate syrup, and one part caramel topping. Ahhh, smoooooth, like Jimmy Buckets from the elbow! On a definite sugar high, I spent the entire first quarter giving a hearty "Rahhhh," on every Heat basket, and there were a lot of baskets early as Miami blew the doors off Washington from the jump. M.Minutos predicted a crash down by mid-third quarter. She couldn't have been more right. Post-halftime, with the game essentially over, and the boys in bed, I slumped on the couch and watch Carlos Arroyo and James Jones play out the string. Considered helping M.Minutos, who was cutting out hearts from construction paper for a Valentine's Day project for the boys, but declined when it turned out she wasn't using a template. I don't cut without a template...
4) Dwyane Wade had 32 points and 10 assists, and totally dominated the game from start to finish. Sometimes I forget: he's really, really good! He made 4-7 threes, and he is looking more athletic, and leaner, each game. Also crashed into the scorer's table on one steal attempt, and knocked a phone off the hook, which he graciously replaced. A closer look at the phone revealed that it was an old, solid body, corded-phone, with push buttons on the front! Sweet! Jobs? Health care? They don't even have modern phones in Washington! Somebody call Joe Biden and get him on this! Yeah, call him on the old phone! If he doesn't answer, just wait about six hours and try him again, he's probably on the train on the way home! Okay, great...
5) Midway through the third quarter, Tony Fiorentio re-told the urban legend about former Washington big man Wes Unseld, whom people claim could grab a defensive rebound, turn around, and throw a line drive pass off the far backboard at the other end of the court. One: not sure when this would ever come in handy. Two: spent a good four minutes discussing with M.Minutos what Coach Spoelstra would do if on the next trip in this game, Mike Beasley grabbed a defensive rebound, turned around, and hurled an overhand fastball down the court off the offensive backboard for no apparent reason. Personally, I couldn't think of a better way to liven up a blowout win, whatever the outcome for SpongeBob SquareBeas. M.Minutos claimed that Spo would be so stunned that he wouldn't even take him out right away, and would just stare at the court in disbelief, then remove him at the next timeout for the duration. Buckets didn't do it - but had a nice homecoming anyways with 15 and 8.
6) This is very Jersey Shore-specific, so, one, if you don't watch it, you won't understand it; and, two, if you don't watch it, really, what the hell are you doing with your life? At Dos Minutos International HQs today we debated whether we have reached the point where we should remove the word "situation" from our everyday lexicon, and only use it to refer to situations involving "The Situation." Kind of like how we use "google" for an internet search, even if we don't specifically use the actual brand name Google, except for, you know, this is far more important. Admittedly, this is slightly different because the word "google" didn't exist before Google was invented - we probably just called it an "internet search," or something. The word "situation" seemed perfectly sufficient for describing scenarios of various types that one might find himself engaged in for the past two thousand or so years, and we probably all assumed that was going to last a while longer. Now, however, any time I hear the word "situation" used in any context at all, I can only think of The Situation. For instance, after the Laker-Cleveland game last night, Craig Sager asked LeBron James a question, and LeBron began his answer with something like, "Well, the situation was-" and I was like, "wait - what?" Totally missed the rest of the answer imagining The Situation teaming in the backcourt with Redz West in Mo Gotti's absence. So we're all good with this, right? If it doesn't involve The Situation, we aren't using the word "situation." Try "scenario."
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