6 Thoughts
1) Some nights - like Wednesday against OKC - you play hard, you battle, but the shots don't go in the basket. Then, other nights, you barely break a sweat, and all the shots go in the basket. This was one of those nights, and it was ridiculous. Set your LeBron-o-meter to "heat check," and LET'S GO!!!
2) The game started off as your garden-variety snooze-fest from the Phillips Mausoleum in Atlanta. Quiet crowd, low energy, and a lot of bad Josh Smith turnaround jump shots. Miami led by 13 at half on the strength of LeBron's 20 points on 8-8 shooting. Then the third quarter started...And He Got HOT! Quarter basically started: Wade triple, Wade triple, LeBron triple (in transition after seven walking steps without a dribble to line up his feet), LeBron 20 footer, LeBron 20 footer, one Hawk free throw, LeBron triple, LeBron run-out-behind-the-back-finger-roll-and-one while being tackled by Jamal Crawford. Ballgame, get out now, people, and catch an earlier MARTA ride home. 23 in the quarter for LeBron on his way to 43 in 31 minutes on 16-21. Never even broke a sweat. Sometimes, it's just like that...
3) Craziest moment of the game: Joel Anthony got mad! I mean, in a really polite way - but, definitely, mad! Generously-noggin'd Zaza Pachulia entered the game for the Hawks late in third quarter looking to lay the wood down 30 for whatever reason. This is a guy who heat-butted Jermaine O'Neal into oblivion two years ago in the playoffs. Zaza committed a silly flagrant foul by pushing LeBron in the back on a run out, then instantly gratuitously fouled Joel away from the ball on the reset. Moments later, down on the other end, Zaza drove the ball at Joel, took a bump, threw up a shot, got a foul called, and lashed out with his left arm after the whistle, smacking Joel in the face. The kind of play where you make it look like it was your follow-through, when clearly you are just trying to hit a guy in the face...Not that I've ever done that...So, Zaza stands there 6 feet away from Joel, amongst the most affable and gentlemanly players in the NBA, glowering at him, whereupon Joel, quietly and politely, took three steps toward Zaza, and softly bumped him shoulder-to-shoulder, as if to say, "Look, I didn't like that, and if you do it again, I may be forced to use some harsh language." Refs hustled in to break it up before Joel felt compelled to do something really bad, like give Zaza the finger...
4) Well, at no point in the season, even during some of the struggles, did I ever say, "You know what we could use right now? A healthy dose of Jamal Magloire!' But that's where we are. Screen du Damp is still the starter, but the last few games, Jamal has shed the expensive suits, donned his uniform, and been summoned off the bench. 9 rebounds in 17 minutes tonight for the Big Cat. "He's earned those minutes," enthused Eric Reid, and he has - but also, it helped when Zydrunas Ilgauskas stepped on a nail which drove clear through his shoe into his foot, sidelining him for the last couple of weeks, and necessitating a call to the giant litter box. I don't know if when Boston made that Kendrick Perkins trade, they ever saw this coming. I don't think any of us saw this coming!
5) Okay, let's tackle this rumor once and for all: on the night of the 200 and whatever draft, when Dwyane Wade was coming out of Marquette, and the Heat had the 5th pick in the draft, yes, I was in Rhode Island at the beach house, and, yes, I did think Miami should draft Kirk Hinrich out of Kansas. No, I did not scream, "Dwyane Wade, I declare you a bust" at the top of my lungs when Pat Riley chose Wade over Hinrich - fake Steven A Smith hadn't even invented that yet. The only college games I ever watch are games involving the University of Connecticut, so I had seen Wade and Hinrich play, maybe, a combined 20 minutes of college basketball. I actually saw an NCAA tournament game in which Wade played his team in to the Final Four with a triple double. But it didn't look like he had transferable skills - who ever heard of a 6'4" shooting guard who can't shoot? Hinrich seemed like he was hard-nosed (correct), had good size for a point guard (correct), and could shoot it (way, way, wayyyyy off). Kirk Hinrich: you're a white dude, an aggressive, midwestern white dude - what the hell is wrong with you?!!! Why can't you shoot the ball?!!! I've been watching this dude throw rocks for seven and a half years now, and still people think he can shoot the ball! You know why? Yes, of course, I just told you: because he's white -what are you, deaf?!!!! He's shooting under 42% from the floor for his career and he gets a lot of good shots because no one ever guards him because he can not shoot! 2-7 tonight: another terrible shooting night! Reverse racism!!! Or something!!!
6) So Thor, R.Minutos, and myself just got back from a few days at the South by Southwest music festival in Austin. It was rad, of course. Best show by a known band: The Strokes. Best show by an unknown, up-and-coming band: This is Grinch. Worst show: Nick Cannon, with special guest Christopher "Kid" Reid. Most alcohol consumed: R.Minutos, by a mile. Weirdest thing that happened: Thor has a friend who lives in a town about 20 miles outside of Austin. We go to visit her one day, a little hung over from the night before, but with nothing else to do until the shows start up again in the evening. We are, like, driving through fields and plains of absolute nothingness - I've never been to Texas before, but it did feel very desolate and Republicanish out there once we got beyond Austin. So we get to her house - let's call her 'Lori' so she doesn't get in even more trouble. Lori's husband is a pastor - he is like a classic small-town pastor dude, tall and taciturn, maybe a little older, at least in spirit, than us 'East Coast' boys. They also have a few kids - like two or three. We're sitting in their family room, and the husband is like, "What are you guys doing in Texas," and we're like, "Going to South by Southwest," and he's like, "What's that," and R.Minutos is like, "Hold the phone - you don't know what South by Southwest is," and the guy is like, "No." So we are like, "It's a music festival," and he goes, "I don't approve of rock music, or pop music." And R.Minutos is like, "Hold the phone," again, and there is a long uncomfortable silence, and the pastor goes, "I just think it creates an unnecessary sexual tension amongst people," and R.Minutos and Thor are incredulous (I agree with the guy, frankly). Eventually, he kind of strides out of the room, and we go out back on to the porch to have a beer with Lori (we brought them in a cooler - they didn't have any in the house). They live on a farm, and there were a couple of old tractors out back. After a while, the pastor comes out, and he looks at all of us, and he says sharply: "Lori - you know I strongly disapprove of alcohol, and I won't have it in my house." And R.Minutos had had enough, he just goes, "Dude, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you - it's 2011," and the pastor goes, "You think you're so tough? Let's have a chicken race on those tractors over there to see just how tough you are, mister." They do that, and R.Minutos wins when his shoelace gets caught on the gas pedal, and he can't bail out early, scaring the pastor, who augurs his tractor into a ditch at the last second. We all laugh at the guy, then take Lori back into Austin with us, where we get totally ripped on some local Austin weed, and dance our asses off all night long to a cover band playing 80s hits. The next day we drive her back to her house - R.Minutos was passed out in the backseat, so I walk her to the door, and the pastor dude opens it, and I'm, like, all ready for him to physically attack me, but instead he goes, "I want to thank you - you've really opened my eyes, and made me realize that music and dancing are a-ok!" And, I'm like, "No worries, man." South by Southwest, dude!!!
