Thursday, February 23, 2012

Heat 102 Knicks 88

6 Thoughts

1) Jeremy Lin's first game against the Miami Heat, first time rolling with the big boys, playoff atmosphere, bodies flying everywhere, national game on TNT (which gave him more air-time than any player in any game, in any sport, anywhere, ever)...annnnd, he was absolutely terrible!  Kind of a letdown, all things considered.  Only 8 points on 1 for double-chopsticks from the field, 3 assists, and 8 turnovers.  Got picked clean by Mario Chalmers in the first quarter for a breakaway dunk (Emcee Chalmers can dunk!), and got picked clean by Norris Cole for a breakaway dunk in the second quarter (after which Norris slipped off the rim, falling nine feet on to his hip - ouch!).  He also made a bizarre bush league play at the end of the game: KJ James grabbed a rebound with 5 seconds to go, with the Heat up 14, and stood there under the basket with the ball to let the clock run out.  Lin suddenly stripped the ball from KJ, and tried to lay it in the basket, although he dorked the layup.  That may fly in Asian American basketball culture, but not in the NBA - c'mon, kid!  All in all, he'll have better nights, and I like him...TNT was truly out of control with it, though: several times they missed plays on the court while showing viewers shots of Jeremy Lin sitting on the bench.  AND BY THE WAY, HE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ALL-TIME GREAT POINT GUARD MIKE BIBBY!  LIN WAS 1-11, and HIS BACKUP, THE ROTUND BARON DAVIS, WAS 0-7!  HEY, NEW YORK KNICKS, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PLAYING THE BEST POINT GUARD ON YOUR ROSTER: MIKE BIBBY? 

2) Sometimes you play well, and everything flows, and sometimes you win just by playing hard.  Tonight was the latter for Miami.  They won this game with defense.  KJ James was everywhere on the defensive end: he had 8 defensive boards (9 overall), 5 steals, and 2 blocks.  He (along with Shane Battier) harassed Knick forward Carmelo Anthony into a 7-20 shooting night.  He showed on screens, and recovered to the paint; he closed out on shooters from side-to-side.  He, more than anyone, made it difficult for the Knicks to run their offense fluidly: just the threat of him shooting the passing lane made the Knicks hesitant with their passing - they shot only 39% from the floor, and committed 19 turnovers.

3) Also fabulous defensively: Joel "Butter" Anthony.  If KJ James was the player most responsible for the overall struggle of the Knick offense, Joel was most directly responsible for Jeremy Lin's struggle.  The Knicks ran high pick and roll after high pick and roll, and Joel put on a clinic defending it: kept showing hard, slowing or stopping Lin, then recovered back into the lane to stop any action at the rim.  It really is the one NBA-level skill he has, and he is very good at it (and it is a valuable commodity).  His 5 blocks tonight were a bonus, and he triggered the biggest sequence of the game: with 3 minutes to go in the third quarter, he slid over on a Lin drive and blocked his floater, caught it out of midair (!), and threw an outlet pass for a transition Shane Battier triple to push the lead to 13, then when the Knicks pushed the ball back hard after the make, slid back to the exact same spot on the court and drew a charge on Carmelo Anthony.   The Knicks never threatened after that: ballgame.  Warden.

4) As for offense, Dwyane missed a bunch of early layups, ending his first half dominance, although he did put Miami ahead for good with a third quarter spurt.  We should mention: the Knicks played very hard, and well, defensively - Miami scored a lot of points in transition.  If the Knicks defend like this every game, they are going to be good.  Dwyane finished with 22, but only 10-22 from the floor.  KJ had 20, on 7-16, and Battier made 2 big triples.  But, down the stretch, it was Chris Bosh who carried the offensive load, nailing jumper after jumper, and mixing in one drive-okey-doke-and-finish on Tyson Chandler.  Which brings up a painful memory.  There are many, many things that Chris Bosh does not do well on a basketball court.  They are all infuriating, and we won't list them again here.  But one thing he does exceptionally well is shoot elbow jumpers.  Knicks center Tyson Chandler is, to his credit, a one-man illegal defense.  He is never, ever going to stray out of the painted area on defense for more than a moment at a time.  Last year, while playing on Dallas in the Finals, he singlehandedly jammed up dozens of late game Miami possessions by standing in the lane to deter Wade and KJ drives.  That is smart and great basketball, I am not criticizing him at all - he could play for me any day.  But, I still believe that if instead of Dwyane and KJ trying to beat that type of defense by driving into it, or shooting over the top, they simply put Chandler in pick-and-roll after pick-and-roll (since he is always guarding Bosh at the end of games), let him jam down into the paint to stop the drive, and flip the ball back to Chris at the elbow and let him shoot the 18 footer, they win that series, easy.  They lost three games in which they had comfortable leads coming down the stretch because they couldn't generate good shots, and no NBA ref is going to call illegal defense in the last five minutes of any game, let alone a playoff game, no matter how blatant it is (and they shouldn't - you have to figure out how to beat it).  But Bosh is always going to make at least 4 or 5 out of 10 of those jumpers.  That would have been more than enough in the end of those games - why make it more difficult than it needs to be?  Tonight, they pitched it to him when Chandler planted himself in the lane - 25 for Chris on 11-17, and Miami held its lead easily the entire fourth quarter.  I feel vindicated; yet, somehow, still very bitter!

5) Time for the all-star break!  We're more than halfway done with the 66 game schedule, and Miami is 27-7 (and 15-2 at home).  That's pretty good.  Let's give some all-star break grades.  Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem and me: A+.  It's my blog, the three of us are always getting A pluses.  KJ James: A.  He's been absolutely fantastic, the best player in the league.  Everyone else: A-, except for Chris Bosh, who gets a C-, but only because he played well tonight; otherwise he was getting a D.  The end.

6) "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam > Jeremy Lin > every other Jeremy on earth > Jeremy Piven.
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What a great first half!  Everyone is worried about other stuff besides us, for once, and our games are really so much fun to watch, absolute dunk-fests.  The players seem like they are having so much fun, and that rubs off on the fans.  Won't matter if they don't get it done in the playoffs, but for now, it's terrific: thank you, boys!  Can't wait for this break, no blog for a whole week, I think we are back next Thursday, and I don't even know who we play!  Or care!  If you need me before then, I will be absolutely not be watching basketball - and loving it!  See you in a week!
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Heat 120 Kings 108

6 Thoughts

1) Wheewwww!  That was wacky!  This game had the normal stuff - Wade starting fast (17 1st half points on his way to 30 on 11-16 with 10 assists); KJ James stuffing the boxscore (7-11 for 18 points, 8 assists, 4 rebounds, and 2 ridiculous blocks); runout dunks; and long threes by Chalmers (6-12) and Miller (2-4).  That's just another normal night.  But it also featured a wild third quarter, won 36-35 by the Heat in which Chalmers (4-5) and Kings rookie Isiah Thomas (5, with another one he got fouled on and made 3 free throws) trading three points bombs; a sulking DeMarcus Cousins; an electric Norris Cole; an unbelievably irresponsible zone defense from the Kings; the softest, least-inspired 20-10 ever from Chris Bosh (he looks exhausted right now); and, just maybe, the funniest play of the year for the Heat.  We won't get to it all, but we'll do our best.  Let's go!

2) So, last season, not one time in 82 regular season games, then 21 playoffs games, did anyone ever say: "You know who won the game tonight?  The Miami Heat point guards."  No one ever, ever said that.  I mean, except for me, who said it every game, but only because I love Mike Bibby like a third son.  Tonight, the Heat came out sloggy - Tuesday night, bad opponent, it happens - and got down 9 early, only to have Emcee Chalmers jolt them to life with two straight triples.  In the third quarter, his shootout with the aforementioned Thomas was highly entertaining - Chalmers was efficient with it, though, found his spots on the perimeter, patiently hunted shots, and then took them decisively.  Thomas (to his credit) was just flinging.  Overall, 6-12 triples on the night for Emcee, for 20 points in 29 minutes.  And his backup, Heat rookie Norris Cole, was even better!  Cole entered late in the first quarter, and as is his custom, immediately fired a jumper the moment he first touched the ball - swish.  He definitely leads the league in least-amount-of-time-in-game-before-taking-your-first-shot.  He pushed the ball hard all night, getting to the rim and finishing, or finding teammates for open shots.  It was the second unit, which features Bosh, with Cole, Mil-lar, Battier, and Haslem, which played the first 6 minutes of the fourth quarter and turned a close game into a blowout.  Cole finished 5-7 from the floor for 12 points in 20 minutes, with 4 assists and no turnovers.  Great game by the Heat point guards.  On the other hand, I'd still trade them both for just one more game of Mike Bibby!

3) Play of the game: midway through the 4th quarter, when the second unit was just putting the finishing touches on a great run to ease the game out of reach, Norris Cole drove down the lane and drew multiple defenders.  He elevated on the left side of the rim on a big, then suddenly whipped a left-handed wrap-around pass out to the right corner to Shane Battier, who was spotting up for a triple.  A Kings defender closed on Battier quickly - Batt needs about 6 open yards to get his low-slung shotput up at the rim, and there was no room.  So he decided to give a quick fake, followed by a drive.  But whereas most guys will fake one time - like, say, fake left, then drive right - Batt threw about about 6 quick fakes on the guy like this: leftrightleftrightleftright!  As the defender stood there stunned, Batt then took a dribble past him down the baseline, collapsing the defense even more, then crisply passed the ball to the right elbow to Chris Bosh, spotting up in the same coma-like trance with which he did everything tonight.  As a defender sunk down on to him, somewhere through the fog in his brain he sensed Mike Mil-lar wide open back up over the left wing in three point land, and tossed the ball out to him.  Mil-lar, who had just nailed a triple, fired the shot with the crowd celebrating in anticipation of another make, only to have the ball spin tightly around the rim, and then out, leading to a brief disappointed half-groan from the crowd, then a sudden explosion of joy when Udonis Haslem (10 and 7) flew in and one-hand tip-slammed the ball back through the hoop to give Miami a 13 point lead wih 6 minutes to go!  Already it was the best play of the year - then the Sunsports camera panned to the Heat bench at the far end of the building, where Dwyane Wade had skipped 8 feet on to the court in joy, and was trying to scurry back to his spot on the bench since the ball was coming back at them (Kings didn't take a timeout).  While Wade retreated, KJ James, with a huge smile on his face, did the, I don't know what you call it, exactly, but he was barrel-rolling his arms a la Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, while flapping his knees in a Billy "White Shoes" Johnson-modifed Chicken Dance.  As Wade slipped past him looking for a seat, KJ turned around still dancing, cracking up all the fans behind the bench, one of whom looked very much like a Latino Jon Cryer, and then after Wade sat down, since he had missed KJ's dance while trying to get off the court and find a seat, KJ, still standing, did the dance for him, although he modified the arms to a more piston-like up-and-down action, making Wade crack up.  "It was like a show," laughed M.Minutos, after the seventh time we rewound it on the dvr, "it was like the Globetrotters!"  Exactly - except entertaining and funny!

4) The Sacramento Kings, they have a nice group of athletic, offensively-talented kids, and they had it going on that end tonight.  But their coach, Keith Smart, is incredibly irresponsible.  The Kings set up in a 2-3 zone defense and just sat in it all night - never really once that I remember came out and played man-to-man.  There are a few problems with this one.  First, Miami scored 120 points on 56% shooting, and Chalmers and Cole looked like Monroe and Frazier.  That's a fairly obvious problem.  But worse, the Kings are 10-22 this season.  They have no chance to make the playoffs, and they are all young kids.  This season should only be about developing talent.  Yes, a good man-to-man defense essentially employs zone principles - but that's not the same thing as 5 guys going to a pre-determined spot on the floor, and standing with their hands in the air like sides of beef hanging in a meat cooler (Come to think of it, you know who would love this defense?  Chris Bosh!).  Because you know what happens when you do that?  120 points on 56% shooting, and 10-22 records!  These kids aren't learning how to play NBA defense properly - that's a bad job (terrible, unforgivable job) by the coach (or whatever front office type is forcing him to do it).  The franchise isn't going to be able to get better if the kids don't learn to play properly when they have a chance.  Further, you are going to stunt the careers of the individual players.  When they go elsewhere, to any other NBA team, they are going to be behind the curve on the defensive end of the floor - that is going to cost them money: worse contracts, shorter careers.  Finally, and most importantly, zone is only for girls.  I mean, really, that's what you're going to do for an entire NBA game?  Play zone?  Why don't you come out and play some basketball, how about that?  How about the Hack-a-Shaq?  You gonna try that, too?  How about the hidden ball trick (baseball)?  How about the pocket veto (politics)?  Yeah, the pocket veto!!!  You know, when the President gets a bill and doesn't sign it or veto it, just lets the ten days expire, thus creating a de facto veto, the pocket veto!  C'mon!  Yeah!  I've been trying to work that into the blog for 4 years!!!

5) Alonzo Mourning read about the black Miami neighborhood Overtown during the Black History Month halftime segment.  Zo wins the contest - that was the best performance, by far.  He was way into it, he celebrated Overtown's good times with a smile and triumph in his voice, and lamented the tougher times with just the right amount of pathos.  It actually didn't sound like he was reading an essay prepared by Jax (Jax writes those, doesn't he?) - it sounded like Zo had done the research himself, had written the words himself, had taken pride in doing the best job he could on the project.  Just the same way, I might add, he does everything.  Zo is the best.

6) I got absolutely nothing here for you.  How about some Dos Minutos trivia?  First car: Honda Civic (blue).  First pet: Casey, a golden retriever.  First arrest: fourteen years old, drug charges and aggravated assault.  Dropped acid at a party, and when the po-lice arrived to break it up (you know, cuz kids were having fun), I crawled in behind one of them and had my friend BT push him backwards over the top.  Seemed like a good idea at the time - acid can do crazy things to your brain.  First time making love: in a strawberry patch in Avon, Connecticut.  That's how we do it in Connecticut!!!  First basketball hero: Earl Kelley, UConn guard from 1982-86.  Greatest love: M.Minutos.  Second greatest love: Mike Bibby.
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Ohhhhhh, we are back on Thursday night in Miami to play Jeremy Lin and the Knicks!  There are only 6 or 7 regular season games to really get excited about as a fan, and this is one of them!  Linsanity, welcome to the asylum - I'd like to introduce you to The Warden!  If you need me before then, I'm going zone on O. and P. Minutos out on our court.  See you Thursday!!!
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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Heat 90 Orlando 78

6 Thoughts

1) Somehow, I turned a 3:30pm game into a late night West Coast-ish affair - it's 1:30am.  Spent the evening in South Beach drinking mojitos, eating Cuban food, avoiding all televisions so as not to see the Heat score, then cutting the mojitos with some strong, strong Cuban coffee for the ride home.  Then, drank a Redbull, and watched Miami kill Orlando...annnddd, now I'm wide awake!  C'mon, c'mon, get it, get it - I'm on fiyah, I'm up in here!  Best record in the NBA!  Chris Brown sighting in # 6!  Let's go!

2) Dwyane Wade, again, was brilliant in the first half.  19 points in 18 minutes.  He dunked in transition.  He posted and made turnaround jumpers.  He drove the lane and finished over Dwight Howard, around Dwight Howard, and once, impressively, through Dwight Howard for the and-one!  He's put up high teens, or better, every first half in this six game winning streak.  Came out in the third quarter and swatted a Dwight Howard layup, then blocked his follow, though the sympathetic ref called a foul so it wouldn't be too embarrasing for Dwight.  Dwyane last week pointed out that he can't wear a mouthguard, like most NBA players, because he likes to chew gum while he plays.  During one break in the action in the first half, M.Minutos and I rewound the DVR several times to try to figure out what kind of gum Dwyane was chomping.  M.Minutos says: Trident.  Dos Minutos: Bubble Yum.  I am pretty sure I am right, if they still have Bubble Yum.

3) Dwyane probably kind of won the game, but KJ James played harder than anybody.  He finished with 25 points on only 14 shots, and he scored in every way there is to score.  He got to the rim in transition, and in the halfcourt.  He got to the free throw line.  He made a triple.  He went down on the low block, spun in to the lane, and made a little hanger - statistically speaking, if you're in to that sort of thing, he scores more points per post touch than any player in basketball.  But even better, he passed the ball well: found Dwyane Wade cutting for scores; found open shooters for easy jumpers.  Even better than that, he rebounded: 11 rebounds, many of them in traffic.  And even better than that, he defended: contested jumpers; jammed entry passes on the ball, and on the weak side; got his booty down in the lane and bodied Dwight Howard off the spot several times.  In general, he shrunk the court and made it difficult for Orlando to run offense.  Even though the Magic shot the three well again (11-29), they were only 16-45 inside the arc, for 37% overall (and only 78 points).  You are skilled defensively, KJ James, and I exhort you.

4) This game was over when: Udonis Haslem made three straight jumpers at the end of the third quarter and beginning of the fourth to push the lead to 18.  For, I believe, the fifth straight game, the entire fourth quarter was extended garbage time.  UD struggled with his jumper early, but found it late, 5-11 for 10 points and 5 boards in 25 minutes off the bench.  Right now it is Dwyane, KJ James, and then different guys every night.  Even Bosh has been reduced to an ancillary part, and I think this works best.  Instead of trying to force feed him touches, especially post touches, he spaces the floor, and takes opportunity jumpers, and garbage around the rim.  8 points and 9 boards tonight, and some solid defense staying out at home on Ryan Anderson (only 3-8 for 9 points).  As skilled a scorer as Chris is, he isn't as skilled a scorer as Dwyane and KJ - this notion about trying to force enough shots for the three of them has, for the moment, worked itself out to "Dwyane and KJ eat, then everyone else gets leftovers."  Personally, I'm fine with it.  Not sure how Chris likes it, but if he likes winning, I recommend he stay the course (dad-ism).

5) Okay, last time we played Orlando, I thought we wouldn't play them again until after the trade deadline and that Dwight Howard would be gone.  Oops, bad job by me.  Don't know if we play them yet again before the trade deadline - I'm not even sure when the trade deadline is, sometime in mid-March, I believe - but it's time to consider what the best options for him and Orlando are.  And by "best options for him and Orlando," of course, I mean, "the Miami Heat."  He's a very good player, so the best option for us is that they trade him to another league, preferably in another country, like Communist China (hear they love Rick Santorum there).  Barring that, I guess I prefer they trade him out west to the other conference, but not to Dallas or the Lakers, because that would be super, super annoying, especially if we had to play them in the Finals.  That's problematic, because people believe that he is only willing to sign extensions in those two cities and New Jersey.  I can tell you the only thing - the only thing - I fear is that Chicago figures out that they need to move on him hard.  They have good young bigs they can trade (attractive to Orlando).  They play Derrick Rose and Luol Deng, their two best players, tons of minutes every night, because that is what they have to do to win games (all credit to them - they go hard all the time).  But, even though they are absolutely good enough to beat Miami in a series, the reality is that they don't have as much top-end talent as Miami, so it is always going to be tough on them in a seven game series - you wouldn't say they would be favored against Miami, all things being equal, health-wise.  If they get Dwight Howard, that evens that equation up quite a bit.  It's a big, cool city, he'd playing with another great player - it's a pretty attractive situation.  Like all other players, he should absolutely go wherever he wants to - let's just hope that's not Chicago.  And in his desire to leave Orlando, I respect him and salute him, because with all due respect, that city is the absolute armpit of the universe.

6)  Chris Brown sighting!  CHRIS BROWN SIGHTING!!!  So my uncle and aunt are in South Beach for the weekend.  They are staying at the swanky, celebrity-drenched W Hotel, which, for example, is where KJ James celebrated his decision to come to play for the Heat two summers ago (or was it 100 years ago?  Man, time flies).  My uncle and aunt are just normal white people, but they are normal white people who like to come kill it at the W Hotel for a few days each February, so, you know...So M.Minutos and I get to the hotel this evening to pick them up for dinner.  We step on to the elevator and who steps on with us?  Ch-ris Br-own!  Fresh off his something win (Grammy?), and subsequent meltdown about how nobody likes him just because he likes to beat the hell out of girls.  So, he is leaning against one wall of the elevator (with a few mellow dudes with him), and I'm leaning against the opposite wall.  Lanky, good-looking kid, by the way (him, not me - okay, both of us).  So I'm kind of looking at him, and he's looking at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't think I would know who he is, since I imagine I'm not exactly his normal demographic, which I assume is "teenage girls who don't mind a good smack."  But, like, we're both kind of dudes, so I give him a little nod, and he nods back, and then I'm like, Well, I need to say something, so I'm like, "Hey - you want to have a rap-off?"  And he smiles a little and goes, "Battle," and I'm like, "What?" and he's like, "Battle - it's a 'rap battle', not a 'rap-off'," and I'm like, "Okay, do you want to have one," and he's like, "Not really," and I was like, "I don't really either - I'm not that good at rapping, honestly."  And the elevator doors opened for my uncle's floor, and M.Minutos steps out, and I tell Chris Brown, "I bid you adieu," and give him an exaggerated royal bow, before exiting.  Not sure if that was cool or not - maybe I shouldn't have done that.  Ahh, I think he appreciated it.  The end!
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Not too sure when the next game is.  I believe it is Tuesday against Sacramento.  I do know that Thursday we play Linsanity, and then have a week off between games, due to the all-star break!  Can't wait for both!  Until then, if you need me, I'll be working on my battle skillz, and my two step: I'LL BE READY FOR YOU CHRIS BROWN!  OH, YOU BEST BELIEVE, I'M GON' BE READY!!!
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Friday, February 17, 2012

Heat 111 Cavs 87

6 Thoughts

1) The long slog through middle America is over!  Miami finished a 6 game road trip, including a back-to-back-to-back, 5-1, winning the last five in a row by an average of 19 points.  Whereas KJ James, and the whole team, looked exhausted while Dwyane Wade missed his 9 straight games with a bad foot (though they continued to win), Dwyane's return, and increasing comfort with the new offense, has eased the load on everyone else, especially KJ, and the team looks relatively fresh and energized.  Let's stay out on the road!  Who's with me?  Not KJ James, who looked into the camera during his post-game interview with Jax and gleefully listed all the areas in Miami he couldn't wait to get back to after being out of town for so long: "South Beach!  Coconut Grove!  Brickell!"  How about Overtown?  Yeah, Overtown!  Let's go!

2) This game was over when: ummm, probably halfway through the first quarter when it was 21-2.  The first quarter, which Miami won 35-14, featured Wade going bananas again on the block, scoring on turnarounds and jump hooks with both hands.  Wade is killing people down on the low block right now - he has adjusted and flourished in this new offense, which presents many postup opportunities.  Unsurprisingly, postup basketball, which involves equal parts strength, quickness, and quick decision-making, is a strength of Dwyane's.  He's easily the best postup player on the Heat (although, KJ James leads all players in the NBA on points-per-postup, so I guess I could be wrong about that - let's just agree that they are both better than Bosh).  I can't think of another guard as accomplished on the block as he is.  Ahh, Kobe Bryant is better, now that I think of it.  Probably.  Anyways, Dwyane is using the block to kick-start Miami out of the gate every game: 18 more first half points for him tonight.  That is right around his average for first half points on the road trip.  I think people don't quite understand how well he is playing right now, because he is barely playing in the second halves, since the games are over at halftime, and his cumulative numbers don't stand out.  22 points for him tonight on only 10 (!) shots, in only 24 (!) minutes!  His brief second half stint included his first three pointer of the year, after 9 misses to start the season - he's consciously focused on posting up and abandoning the long ball.  He smiled on his way back down the court after finally making one, and moments later, he okey-doked a Cav into the air on another three pointer, earning the foul.  As the referees spent somewhere between 9 and 30 minutes to decide whether he would shoot 2 or 3 free throws in a 30 point blowout - valuable use of everyone's time - Dwyane, KJ James, and Mike Miller sat on the scorer's table, right in front of Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, where Dwyane made an impromptu on-mike appearance to talk about his first triple of the season: "It was a long time coming," he laughed, cracking up his teammates, as well as Eric and Tony, who apparently forgot they were broadcasting a game, "I'd like to thank God, and my family for sticking with me..."  Thank heavens this was a rare Heat game that wasn't on national tv, because you would have been able to cue the national media talking about how arrogant Miami is in 3...2...1...dodged a bullet on that one!

3) One reason Dwyane has been able to abandon the three point shot is because Miami has so many other guys shooting it so well.  Emcee Chalmers, who has spent the better part of the last three weeks campaigning to get into the NBA Three Point contest at next weekend's All-Star event in Orlando, saw his efforts rewarded this week when he was selected to participate (along with defending champion James Jones).  Emcee hit three in the first quarter tonight, and 4-6 overall.  He also dribbled needlessly between his legs at one juncture, which shocked me because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before.  It occurred to me that if you had asked me if I thought he could, I would have said, "Ummm, probably not, no, not without dribbling it off his foot out of bounds."  He also threw, to everyone's amazement, a semi-perfect alley-oop pass to KJ in transition for a dunk, but followed it up later in the game by splitting a double-team (something else I don't remember him doing), then airmailing an alley-oop to Wade 9 yards behind the backboard, which Wade somehow got to in midair, flung it down the baseline to KJ down in the corner, ran back in bounds on the other side of the backboard, received a pass, and made an impossible twisting 16 foot rainbow over Cavs center Semih Erden...My prediction for Chalmers for the three point shootout is that he makes every triple in the first round, but is eliminated in the second round when he goes scoreless by fumbling four of the balls off his own foot, misses all the rest of the shots, and then fouls the Orlando Magic intern rebounding the shots down in the lane...

4) Also making shots, these days: Shane Battier.  He spent the first month of the season shooting somewhere between 1 and 2 percent.  On this road trip, he made 20-29 shots, including 2-2 triples tonight.  He's always solid defensively.  When he's also helping Chalmers and Mil-lar to space the court?  That's when 5 road blowouts by an average of 19 points happens.

5) Random notes: I love Linsanity as much as the next guy - but all I'm saying is that if I was guarding him, I'd make him go left, and get a little physical with him, and that would be the end of the phenomenon...Norris Cole's parents and sister were at the game (he's from Ohio).  Jax did a halftime feature on them.  They are a very pleasant, but very slow-talking family (like Norris).  And, Norris' dad looks exactly like Norris, except with a beard and a hat!  Norris in disguise!...From the first quarter, totally out of nowhere, M.Minutos, who started off her writing career at the Palm Beach Post and was a colleague of esteemed Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick, asked me: "Did you know Ethan is married to an Asian woman?"  "No - no, he isn't, he is married to a Hispanic woman."  "Whatever."  Uh-oh - I think someone in Casa Dos may be carrying a little torch for Ethan J. Skolnick!  Luckily, I am clearly not carrying one for Heat sideline reporter Johanna Gomez, who does not go with the team on road trips, not at all - the only reason I want the team to get back home to play after this long, long, interminable road trip is because I, umm, like watching the games from Miami more because the lighting in the arena is better!  But that's the only reason!  I don't need Johanna Gomez on the sideline during games - I still got Jax!!!

6) Narragansett beer.  Get it in the tall boy cans.  Old, old school.  Thank me later.  I may have had a few during the game tonight.  Christ, it was 21-2 after 5 minutes, I had to do something.  
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Heading home for a game against Orlando on Sunday.  When is Orlando going to trade this freaking Dwight Howard so that the Orlando games are a lot easier?  Selfish, Orlando, so selfish.  If you need me before then, I'll be passed out (Narragansett).  Bottom's up!
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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Heat 105 Pacers 90

6 Thoughts

1) This game was over early in the second quarter when KJ James posted up twice in a row at the elbow and found Shane Battier for back-to-back hoops: the first when Battier came up off a staggered screen and hit an open 15 footer; the second when Indiana overplayed the same set, Battier slipped backdoor, and KJ hit him in stride with a fastball for a layup.  On the ensuing Pacers possession, KJ swooped into the paint to steal an entry pass, pushed it up court at approximately 90 miles an hour, and found Mike Mil-lar all alone for a wing triple: 40-20 Miami, timeout Indiana, game over.  To win three games in a row, on three consecutive nights, against three pretty good teams (and Indiana had two days rest before this one), and they are all blow outs?  Happy Valentines Day, Coach Spo - this was the woman of your dreams! Or dude, by the way.  Either way is fine!

2) KJ James didn't even look tired.  If anything, he looked raring to go - on the first few defensive possessions of the game he got down lowww into his defensive stance, and he stayed there all game long.  He was flying all over the court on the defensive end, denying entry passes, jamming cutters, jumping in front of passes like a free safety: he had 13 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals in the first half, and Miami led 68-39 at the break.  He dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated on both ends.  Dwyane Wade (again had to play only 24 minutes!) had a fairly spectacular first half himself, 16 points on 6-8 (Wade's three first half point totals on the b-t-b-t-b: 21, 16, 16!), but you barely even noticed him.  It's not possible to play every game with as much intensity and focus as KJ did tonight - Michael Jordan couldn't; Magic Johnson couldn't...ahhh, maybe - maybe - Jon Barry could, but he's the only one, he's the only guy who could do that.  You just hope that KJ is going to be able to play at this level consistently when it matters most - if he does, no one is going to beat this team, not four out of seven times.  There are probably only two questions left in  Miami's season, actually: one, how healthy will they be at playoff time?  Other teams' health won't matter if Miami is healthy.  Two: will KJ play this well consistently in the biggest of games.  Last playoffs, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't.  To win for sure, he has to be a little more consistent with that.

3) The stats won't really show it, not really, but Joel Anthony was also everywhere on the defensive end tonight.  He took a guy a good five or six inches taller than him, Roy Hibbert (Ribbert), and took him away from Indiana: 5-12 for 10 points.  He helped hold David West to a 4-10.  He contested innumerable shots at the rim, finishing with two blocks (and several alters).  He grabbed 5 boards in 28 minutes, but more importantly, held Ribbert to 5.  He also drew a charge when Dahntay Jones careened down the lane out of control, elevated, and hit a perfectly positioned Joel knee-to-upper chest.  On offense, he caught the ball effectively around the rim, flipped in both shots he took, and made 3-4 free throws for 7 points.  I love you, Butter.  Happy Valentines Day to you, too!

4) Shane Battier's shot is coming around.  He was 3-3 tonight for 8 points, and also had 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 23 productive minutes.  He is sort of learning where his opportunities can come from when playing with KJ James, especially, and Coach Spo pointed out after the game that since Dwyane has come back healthy and become acclimated to the new post-up heavy offense, the ball movement has improved dramatically, and that Battier, along with Mil-lar and Chalmers, can benefit greatly from this...Also, did Shane Battier recognize that the Heat had a foul to give on the last Pacers possession of the third quarter, under ten seconds to go, with the Heat leading by 34 points, and then give that foul?  Of course he did - he's Shane Battier!  Why wouldn't he?

5) For the third straight night, Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had a lottt of time to fill, because none of the three games were even remotely competitive after halftime.  I have to be honest with you, I don't have any idea what the heck they talked about for most of the fourth quarter - I was monitoring Pacers backup forward, hatchet-man Jeff Foster, praying he didn't intentionally injure anyone on Miami (he tried).  At one point, I am pretty sure they spent like five minutes talking about former Miami fringe-y backup forward Mark Strickland, who, if I remember correctly, last played for the Heat sometime in the late eighteenth century.  Strickland, who was an athletic, bouncy power forward with absolutely no discernible basketball skills whatsoever, also had the misfortune of being the beneficiary of one of the worst Eric-and-Tony-bestowed nicknames in Heat annals, The Pogo Man, probably surpassed only in sheer dorkiness by the time that they incorrectly judged that a professional basketball player, or in this case, Yahkouba Diawara, would like the nickname, Rainbow Man, after his high-arcing, but generally inaccurate, jumper (Casa Dos nickname for Diawara: Thunder Yak, after Dan Majerle, whom Eric and Tony often bizarely compared him to.  Greatest similarity?  Both human.)   Eric mentioned that Strickland still lives in South Florida.  "I always enjoy running into him, and every other former Heat player," Eric advised Tony, "except for Ricky Davis!"

6) Okay, okay, okay, I know you want to know what life is like in Casa Dos on Valentines Day.  I actually have a nice little evening planned.  First, I watch the Heat game, then I write this stupid blog as fast as I can.  Then, I eat some cold fried chicken, and drink a glass of inexpensive port (I can only afford domestic).  Next, when I have a little buzz on, I am going to watch this Alex Morgan in bodypaint video - yes, Alex Morgan in bodypaint!!! - a few dozen times, then I'm going to crawl into bed, poke at M.Minutos unsuccessfully for a few minutes, then come back out into the kitchen to eat the last of the girl scout cookies: thin mints!  Then bed, for some rest, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow.  Man, the life of a blogging nerd!!!  So sweet!!!


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Two days off!  Back Friday for a game in Cleveland.  If you need me before then, I think you know where I will be.  Alex Morgan.  Bodypaint.  You know.
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Monday, February 13, 2012

Heat 114 Bucks 96

6 Thoughts

1) You are in the middle game of a back-to-back-to-back, all on the road, in the cold, against a team off the night before, and you have already lost twice to them.  The other team is over-physical, and loves nothing better to grind you, frustrate you, and fling wild triples into the basket at the offensive end.  Then you immediately get down 8, because they beat you to a bunch of early loose balls.  It is an easy game to give up, to say, "ahhh, whatever," and let it go.  But on this night, KJ James and Dwyane Wade decided to grind themselves.  And that consisted of them taking turns going to the post over and over.  And over.  And over.  And scoring, and scoring, and scoring, until they had blown the Milwaukee Bucks out, rendered the fourth quarter meaningless for the second straight night, and received extra minutes of rest for the starters.  Now Miami goes to Indiana tomorrow for the culmination of the "Cities We Would Never Want to Live In" tour, and has the opportunity to become the first NBA team this season to win three straight, on consecutive nights, on the road, a feat tempered in magnitude somewhat by the fact that most teams get at least one home game in their back-to-back-to-backs.  Commissioner David Stern: still trying to give my dad, Pat Riley, the ten-foot pole!

2) Minutes.  KJ James: 33.  A ridiculous 16-21 from the floor for 35 points, and 8 rebounds.  Everything was either a dunk, or a postup.  He posted Ilyasova; he posted Delfino; he posted Mbah a Moute; he posted Steven Jackson; he posted everyone, and scored on all of them.  That was dominant.  Dwyane Wade: after 24 last night, a measured 28 tonight.  8-14 from the floor for 22 points, with 5 boards and 4 assists.  Also scored repeatedly from the block, shooting turnarounds over his right shoulder, and little floaters over his left.  He wasn't quite as dominant as KJ, but he was the second best player on the court by a mile.  Bosh: 30.  Chalmers: 22.  Rest.  To have any chance tomorrow night, rest was important.

3) You know what happens when KJ James and Dwyane Wade are posting over and over, scoring over and over?  I mean, what happens on the possessions when they don't just score themselves?  Open shooters. Mike Mil-lar: 3-4 triples.  He's still over 50% on the season.  He also grabbed 8 rebounds in 23 minutes.  Emcee Chalmers: 3-4 triples.  Chalmers has the highest true shooting percentage - essentially, aggregate points scored per shot - of any guard in the league!  And the Heat dropped 114 on a good defensive team, in a fairly slow-paced game.  That's absurd.  Especially on the second night of a back-to-back.

4) Bucks wing Stephen Jackson, a notorious wack-a-doo, had a typically uneven night.  He was 3-9 in 17 minutes, and spent much of his time getting scored on in the post by KJ James or Dwyane Wade, and what little time he wasn't doing that, arguing with the officials.  Heat play-by-player Eric Reid lamented that Jackson, "hasn't learned any lessons in his twelve seasons in the league."  Annnnd, that's where you're wrong, Eric Reid.  I'm just taking a wild guess, but I feel pretty confident that Stephen Jackson altogether rejects your notion of his being a student in need of a "lesson," and would probably claim you need a lesson in "being Stephen Jackson."  It's like when the white man came to America and tried to force Christianity on the natives - it's a conceit that presupposes that the native Americans have any idea what you are talking about whatsoever.  Same's pretty much true with Stephen Jackson.  This is what he's got, E. Reid.  You're either with him, or against him.

5) A few minutes later, during the midst of a long, blowout-y fourth quarter, Eric enlightened Heat fans on a particular quirk of his broadcasting partner, Tony Fiorentino: every time they get to a hotel on the road, no matter how late at night, Tony picks out his shirt for the next game, gets out the iron board, and has at it.  "This way it dries off and is ready to go the next day," explained Tony.  Not sure how much water he is spraying on that shirt that it needs to dry overnight.  Anyways, in an almost mind-boggling turn of events, Eric Reid, who on the surface appears to be one of the most fastidious and assiduously prepared human beings alive, lightly mocked Tony, laughing, and claiming, "I just pick out my shirt for the game ten minutes before it is time to get ready."  HAAAAAAA!!!  So impulsive!!!  The chances that this has happened, even one time: 0.0 percent!  I am willing to lay HUGE odds that Eric Reid has his wardrobe for the entire season picked out, color-coded, logged into a computer, and packed in a travel bag, two weeks before training camp even starts!  This is a man who knows off the top of his head how many dunks KJ James has in February!  This is a man who can recall the details of a December road win in Cleveland...in 1997!  This is a man who got upset when he was awakened before his scheduled rising time, and thus thrown off schedule, by the "cacophonous roar" of a marathon race in Sacramento last year!  He doesn't do anything without a minimum of six days of careful consideration!  If this is the kind of lesson you want Stephen Jackson to learn, Mr. Reid - lying to seem a lot cooler than you are - than I suggest that Stephen Jackson find a new mentor!

6) You know JoJo the Tire Guy?  From "Bad Boys?"  You know, that guy in the commercials who wants to fight you over the brand of tequila you drink?  He's like, "Whatever happened to men - they used to be men, now they are girls, and they don't sit around wearing terrible-looking dark suits, like mine, and berate people for the kind of tequila they do or don't like to drink."  Yeah, well, whatever happened to him?  He was such a nice, young kid, and in "Bad Boys" all he knew about was tires, only tires - oh yeah, and about major crystal meth dealers, but mostly tires.  But in the end, he was straight, he told Will Smith and Martin Lawrence what they needed to know.  Why is he douche-ing it up in these commercials now?  He was on "The Sopranos," right?  Was this his character in "The Sopranos," a guy who liked to fight people who didn't drink the same tequila he did?  Man, that really, really, really seems like a show I would not enjoy whatsoever...
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Back - again - tomorrow night in Indiana.  If they win three in a row on the road, that's a fairly ridiculous feat.  We'll see what happens.  If you need me before then, I'll be drinking passion fruit mojitos.  YEAH, COME ON, JOJO THE TIRE GUY, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, I'LL DRINK FRUITY GIRL DRINKS ALL I WANT, YOU LITTLE BLACK SUIT-WEARING SELLOUT!  I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!
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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Heat 107 Hawks 87

6 Thoughts

1) This game wasn't even remotely as close as the score indicated.  The Heat led by 12 after one quarter, by 22 at halftime, by 27 after 3, and by 30 with 6 minutes to go.  I'd like to take some pleasure in it, but I can't.  You know why?  No Al Horford.  Al Horford!

2) This was the first game of the back-to-back-to-back, and finally the Heat got a big lead and Coach Spo felt comfortable enough to let KJ James and Dwyane get some extra rest: 30 minutes for KJ (a more-than-solid 23, 13, 6), and only 24 (great!) for Dwyane (an aggressive 21, 5, and 3, with 2 steals and a block).  Both guys came out with energy - KJ, in particular, pushed the ball as hard as he could early, getting to the line, and creating opportunities for others.  For one night, anyways, he figured out if he went hard early, and blew a team out, he could rest late.

3) What the bejeezus got into Chris Bosh tonight?  Side note: I'm still long "o-ing" Bosh.  I'd make the obligatory "he also only played 32 minutes tonight, although any amount is fine since he doesn't play hard enough to get tired" joke, except, tonight: hard playing!  His shot wasn't there, only 4-14, for 14 points, but that was the only weak part of his game.  He had a four possession sequence late in the second quarter which went like this: first, he introduced a modification of the "statue defense," in which he gets to the right spot to defend the rim, then stands with arms straight up, motionless like a statue, and hopes the offensive player doesn't step around him and make an easy layup.  On a Joe Johnson drive, Bosh got to the right spot in front of the rim, got into the statue position, and then jumped ("The Jumping Statue!"), causing Johnson to miss a wild shot, which led to a Heat runout for a hoop at the other end, which Bosh leisurely watched from the backcourt as if to say, "My work here is done."  Except it wasn't done.  On the ensuing Atlanta possession, he snatched a defensive rebound, and then swung an aggressive elbow at Hawks center Zaza Pachulia, backing him off his usual "wait-until-the-other-team-gets-a-rebound-and-then-try-to-smash-it-loose-with-a-karate-chop-to-the-forearm" strategy.  Then, on the next Hawks possession, he leaped...okay, he jumped...okay, he hopped...into the air, and smacked a Marvin Williams layup away from the rim, leading to another runout hoop.  Finally, on the next Heat possession, he rolled sharply down the lane, reached out behind him to catch a poorly aimed KJ James pass, one-handed it, sliced between Zaza and Josh Smith, and dun- okay, power-layup'd - the ball into the hoop, giving the Heat a 24 point lead, and essentially ending the game.  A first half double-double for Chris (10 and 10), and 16 rebounds on the night.  I haven't witnessed a big man performance this aggressive and effective in a Heat-Hawks game since...you guessed it: Al Horford!  

4) Every once in while, someone will write to us and say: "Oh, you never point out when the refereeing is bad and it favors the Heat!"  That's a great point, it's almost as if this is a blog about the Miami Heat...If you want to hear someone consistently providing the Hawks perspective, I recommend, "Two Minutes, Y'all." Still, it is a fair point, so here goes: The Heat shot 31 free throws, the Hawks 7.  This is an outrage!  I berate you, referees!  I BERATE YOU!!!

5) Okay, let's address a very, very serious halftime show matter.  We are skipping the part where UD read about Alex Haley ("You my family!") for Black History Month, and UD still had braids, almost as if Sunsports had recycled last year's Black History Month readings.  Let's get to the part when, after assistant coach David Fizdale read about black basketball pioneer Earl Lloyd (on tape, from an undetermined date and location), he was interviewed just before the start of the second half by Sunsports host Jason Jackson.  Now, Coach Loc, as we like to call him (he doesn't look like Tone Loc, not exactly, but he's a Tone Loc type), seems bright and affable, and gives good information during these interviews.  He's certainly more likable during these segments than Heat assistant Ron Rothstein, who as we have noted in this space before, once intentionally lost a game while serving as interim head coach, a transgression for which I have never forgiven him.  However, he's not nearly as popular as assistant Keith Askins.  You know why?  No catch phrase!  Coach 'Skines ends every interview with Jax with a soulful, "Right on!"  What does Coach Loc end with?  Usually, "Thank you," or sometimes, "thanks," or maybe, "okay."  Coach Loc needs a catch phrase!  Something to generate a little buzz around his halftime interviews - you know, create a little brand for himself.  Here are some suggestions that M.Minutos and I came up with quickly - feel free to take any of these, Coach Loc: "True Dat!" "Over and out, Jax!"  "Mmmm-hmmmm!"  "You damn skippy!"  "Stay black!"  "I'm electric, and if you touch me, you might get shocked!"  "Hey Ya!"  "Roger that, Captain!"  "Fo' shizzle!"  "How u?"

6) With Ruffles and Pringles so readily available, who would ever eat Lays?  Blecchhhh.
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Back tomorrow night for a road game against the very best team in the NBA, at least against us, the Milwaukee Bucks.  If you need me before then, I'll be working on my own brand, with my new catch phrase: "Who wants to bleep Dos Minutos?!!!" 
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Friday, February 10, 2012

Heat 106 Wizards 89

6 Thoughts

1) I'd like to say that any player on the Heat team other than Shane Battier had anything to do with this win, but, honestly, they didn't.  The Heat (and the Wizards) sleepwalked through three quarters, and Miami led by 7.  In the fourth quarter, Coach Spo started Battier, Mike Mil-lar, Norris Cole, UD, and Bosh.  AND BATTIER WENT CRAZY, TIPPING BALLS, STARTING BREAKS, MAKING SPOT UP THREES, GOING BACK DOOR FOR LAYUPS, AND THEN, WHEN HE WAS REALLY, REALLY FEELING IT, TOOK NICK YOUNG INTO THE POST, BACKED HIM IN FOR SEVENTEEN SECONDS, ALLOWING ME TIME TO TELL M.MINUTOS 'HERE COMES THE DORKY HOOK SHOT,' AND THEN DROPPED THE DORKY HOOK SHOT RIGHT IN!!!!  TEN QUICK POINTS, HEAT RAGED OUT TO A 17 POINT LEAD, BALLGAME, PUT ON THE FULL-BODY COMPRESSION SUIT, CRANK UP THE JIMMY BUFFETT, GET OUT OF TOWN!!!  THANK YOU, MR. BATTIER!!!!!!

2) Or, in calmer terms, 6-9 (3-6 triples) - 15 points and 5 boards in 23 minutes for Battman. 

3) For the second or third straight game, KJ James was in an absolute sleepwalk.  I've never seen anyone look so tired on a basketball court.  He looks completely out of gas to me.  Finished 6-14 from the floor for 18 points, with 9 assists, but only 2 rebounds.  And there were a lot of rebounds to be had - the Wizards (38% for the game) aren't exactly a bunch of dead eye marksmen.  Because the bench put the game away early, KJ only played 33 minutes, which is good.  Dwyane, who scored 26 on 11-18, only played 31, and he looked tired, too.  On one play in the third quarter, he pushed the ball up the court in transition, got stripped from behind by John Wall, then turned around and watched the other 9 players go back the other way, like he couldn't imagine having to run full-speed back.  It's frustrating to watch...

4)...But you know what?  It's isn't just KJ and Dwyane, and not just Coach Spo grinding them into the ground.  Check out these final scores from around the league tonight: Clippers 78-Sixers 77; Raptors 86-Celtics 74; Hawks 89-Magic 87 (in ot); Hornets 94-Blazers 86; Knicks 92-Lakers 85.  These are low, low scores.  Everyone all around the league is tired all the time.  The Heat were terrible tonight - except for Shane Battier - and they killed this team.  Yes, the Wizards are bad, but they were at home, with one of their only decent crowds of the year, and they jogged around with the same minimal effort that the Heat did.  Thanks a lot, David Stern!  Thanks to your stupid lockout, the quality of basketball is weak - appreciate it!

5) Play of the game: there were a few to choose from.  Dwyane Wade had a ridiculous spinning 360 degree floater over a vaguely engaged JaVale McGee; Chris Bosh had a tip dunk that he totally whiffed off the front iron, but bounced up in the air and went in; and Emcee Chalmers returned after a night off with a sore hand and committed a turnover approximately 4 seconds into the game - he's back!  But I'm going to have to go with the play in the fourth quarter when KJ James received a pass out on the perimeter, and got whacked so hard in the head by a Wizard that it knocked his headband off.  KJ looked over at the referee Tony Brown in disgust, since no foul was called - why would it be a foul, a guy only hit another guy in the head and knocked off his headband? - whereupon Brown shrugged sheepishly, then went over and picked KJ's headband up off the court, and spent the next few possession running up and down the court with it!  Good idea - why worry about reffing the game? Make sure you keep that headband clean! 

6) Finally got to watch "Drive" in its entirety.  This was a fine film.  It is an edgy story about the seedier side of Los Angeles, far away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.  It stars the always excellent Albert Brooks as a sleazy low-level mobster, and Walter White from "Breaking Bad" as a hard-luck mechanic.  About three minutes in, you start feeling uneasy, a total "I don't like the direction this is going" feeling, and it never lets up.  Awesome tension and drama.  Anything else?  Hmmm, let me think for second, did I forget anything important about this movie?  Oh, yes: YEAHHHHHH, GET IT RYAN GOSLING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO BE IN A MOVIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE COOL AS SHIT AND WHEN ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU, JUST GIVE A VAGUE, KNOWING, WORLD-WEARY SMILE AND DON'T SAY A WORD!  YEAHHHH, ILL!!  AS!!!  SHIT!!!  ON A SCALE OF 1-10, I GIVE THE MOVIE A 100, AND I GIVE RYAN GOSLING A 1000!!!!!!!
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Next up is the worst stretch on the schedule: three straight games on the road, beginning Sunday in Atlanta (followed by Milwaukee Monday, and Indiana Tuesday).  If you need me before then, I'll be chilling so hard like Gosling, and if someone asks me if I want, like, a glass of water, I'll pause for like nine seconds, smile wearily with a far away look in my eyes, and say nothing.  Maybe - maybe - I'll say softly, "okay."  But only maybe, if I feel like it.  See you Sunday.  Maybe.  If I feel like it.
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Magic 102 Heat 89

6 Thoughts

1) Well, that wasn't too good.  In what is likely to be the last game Miami ever plays against Dwight Howard in a Magic uniform, the Heat came out on the second night of a back-to-back with tired legs, couldn't make a shot, were lazy defensively, and worst of all, had to endure a hot shooting night from the Magic: 17-42 triples!  Dang!  And M.Minutos fell asleep for the second straight night! It happens - take the beating and move on...

2)...except Coach Spo would not just take the beating and move on.  I love Spo; I hate people who make random criticisms of Spo every time Miami loses.  Spo didn't lose the game; the players lost the game.  But it seemed pretty apparent, to me anyways, that Miami didn't have it when they got down 15 halfway through the first quarter.  But okay, they battled back to down 3 at halftime, only to watch the lead balloon back up to high double digits early in the third quarter.  When the third quarter ended with the Heat down 16, there is no way in hell Wade, KJ James, or Bosh should have gone anywhere near the court in the fourth quarter.  The schedule is insane this shortened season, and Miami was in the first night of its most daunting stretch: 6 games over the next 8 nights, all on the road, with three games in a row at one juncture.  This was a night to take a long-term view of the season, to rest legs, and to keep perspective on the most important thing: to be as healthy and as fresh as possible come playoff time.  Instead, Miami never made a serious run, and Wade (36), KJ James (39!), and Bosh (37) all played wayyy too many meaningless minutes.  That was an error in judgement.  I love Spo, but that over-competitive and silly.  If I were my dad, Pat Riley, I'd be really pissed.

3) KJ looked exhausted - he could use a couple of nights off, in my opinion.  He's earned them.  Just couldn't get the jumper to fall at all, and finished with just 17 points (though, in fairness, he had 10 assists).  In fact, Miami's only offense all night was the irrepressible Dwyane Wade, who kept ending up one-on-one in space against Dwight Howard, dribbling around him, and dunking the ball - 33 points on 15-24 from Dwyane...

4)...and it's time to say goodbye, for now, to Dwight Howard.  The next time Miami plays against him, he'll probably be on New Jersey, or the Lakers, or somewhere else.  He's always been a good guy to play against as an in-state rival.  He is a great player, he has fun on the court, and has always been a good winner and loser.  Miami's usually had good success against him, but tonight his numbers were great: 25 points, 24 rebounds, although if it's possible to have a polite and quiet 20-20 game, he did.  Orlando still hopes to convince him to commit to stay when his contract expires at the end of the season, but Howard appears to be considering other options.  That's where I come in.  I've tried to make this point other times, in other ways, but let's try this one more time, just to help Howard in his decision-making process.  Presenting "Dos Minutos' Least Favorite American Cities!"  1) Orlando; 2) everywhere else seems at least reasonably good by comparison!  The end!!!  Enjoy Brooks Lopez, Orlando - you're going to love him!!!

5) Emcee Chalmers missed the game tonight because he caught his hand on a jersey last night and injured it.  Or, as we like to call it here at Dos Minutos, "The Mike Mil-lar."  Then, tonight in the second half, guess who else came up with a "Mike Mil-lar?"  That's right, you guessed it, obviously: Mike Mil-lar!!!  Luckily, KJ James also seemed to lightly sprain his ankle during some meaningless fourth quarter minutes.  Here we go with the injuries again!

6) Santorum on the climb!  Rick Santorum is charging, and guess who was lucky enough to see about three minutes of one of his stump speeches the other day?  Yes, sir, the biggest Milt Romney fan on the planet - me.  That's probably pretty faint praise, by the way - not sure how many big Milt Romney fans are out there right now.  Anyways, Santorum had an awesome little meeting, from what I saw.  "Your choice in this election comes down to two things," he shouted, in what sounded like his campaign catch phrase, "One: do you absolutely fear and despise gay people?  And, two: do you want everybody in our country to have to conform to the exact same social values, like they do in Communist China?"  That is a "yes" and "even yesser" for me!  Better, then he held an auction for his tie!  Like, literally, he took off his tacky-looking, shiny red tie (red - like a Communist!!!), signed the back of it, then planned to auction it off to raise money for charity, or his campaign, or for straight people, or something.  Wow - what an opportunity!  I would like to start the bidding at "You-pay-me-$200-to-take-that-fashion-mistake-off-your-hands-and-throw-it-in-the-trash!"  Santorum fever - it's catching (like, maybe - just maybe - homosexuality, if you spend too much time around gay people)!!!  Watch out!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game in Washington against the Bullards.  This is, of course, BH and Taz' favorite team, and I can only pray that they can pull themselves away from their umpteenth viewing of "Death to Smoochy" long enough to attend this game.  If you need me before then, I'll be auctioning off my summer-y, pink and blue madras tie over at the Five Guys on Congress Avenue, just south of Gateway in Boynton Beach.  See you Friday!
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Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Heat 107 Cavs 91

6 Thoughts

1) Well, that was incredibly boring!  M.Minutos fell asleep!  Just a run o' the mill home win.  Cavs kept it close for a while, Miami had it dialed up to about 3 out of 10 on the effort meter, then halfway through the fourth quarter, went to the Wade-KJ James-UD-Miller-Bosh closing unit and blew Cleveland out.  No one is overly satisfied with how Miami is playing - you wouldn't exactly say they are completely focused, or even strongly focused.  I would say they are somewhat focused.  But you can't win anything in February, and 19-6 is 19-6, the best start in franchise history.  Let's go.

2) Twins: Dwyane 9-17, 8-9 free throws, 26 points and 6 assists, 4 rebounds, 3 steals; KJ James 9-16, 6-7 free throws, 24 points and 6 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals.  Mario Chalmers: every other point!  I guess, that's, umm...57!!!

3) Nah, but Emcee did survive the jinx - we praised his shooting here last game, and figured he'd break a backboard or concuss a fan with an errant jumper tonight.  But he stuck 4-9 triples, missing his last two on a late possession where he heat-checked himself - twice! - after making two in a row.  5-11 for 14 points for Chalmers overall.  Not even too many super-retarded fouls - the game was so boring he didn't even bother to foul people.

4) Play of the game: in the 4th quarter, with Miami starting to stretch it out, very white and plodding Cavs forward Luke Harangody, formerly of Notre Dame, missed his third shot inside of one inch en route to a 1-9 shooting night.  Mike Mil-lar, who had a season high 9 rebounds, grabbed the ball in traffic, waved it over his head, and though he was surrounded by Cavaliers, decided he was going to try to hail mary the ball all the way down the court to a basket-hanging Shane Battier.  Miller couldn't get any oomphfff on the pass, and it careened crazily down the court as the Cavs chased after it.  Battier waited and waited for it to get there, pleadingly.  Finally the ball and two Cavaliers all arrived at Battier at the same time - Battier caught the ball, slowly spun around as he was enveloped by the two Cavs players, and tried to flip it in the basket.  Remember, Battier can't jump, so he was literally flipping it through a crowd of arms.  The ball spun around the rim, teetered on the edge, and then suddenly, KJ James came thundering down the lane going about 190 miles an hour, leaped, appeared to hang in midair for an extra beat until the ball cleared the rim, then reached out with a giant right hand and tomahawked the ball back through the basket with extreme force!  Holy Moly!  Goodness Gracious.  Next time, Shane Battier, do that!

5) West Palm Beach native, and Dwyer grad, Alonzo Gee started for the Cavs tonight at guard, and played a nice, aggressive game.  17 points for Alonzo.  He usually comes off the bench for Cleveland.  Did Cavalier coach, Byron Scott, decide to start him as a treat for Gee and his hometown fans?  Not exactly: "We didn't have nobody else."  Okay!  Still - nice game, Alonzo!

6) Well, it's time for one of our favorite features, Mr. Tommy Wade's Video Corner!  Take it away, Tommy Wade.


Dear Mr. Dos Minutos,

My heart stops every time that Bosh dunks or whenever mario tosses an uncatchable ball to Wade or KJ.
Since when did dunking or oop-dee-doops become such dangerous activities? Only in miami.

In the following video, is an example of bosh dunking the ball w reckless abandon. It was a, "Yeahhhh....OMG NOOooooo" moment. I thought he was injured from the way he landed. Wade and KJ were on the same page as well. They rushed to the scene as if Chris snapped in half like a gingerbread man...






Anyways, i have an idea. I know bosh hasn't been playing well recently. Instead of making fun of chris bosh in #5 of your column. Maybe we could pull a "Pat Riley motivational tactic":

I've deliberately chosen a suitable motivational speaker


Maybe you could pass this email along to your Dad.

Cheers.

Your biggest fan.

Tommy Wade. 


Dos says: "As always, you killed it, Tommy Wade!  This kid's speech is no lamer than 'Fifteen Strong!'  I'll pass it along to my dad!"
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Tonight's game was the first of 6 in 8 nights, the next 5 on the road, including a road back-to-back-to-back.  Ugh.  We play tomorrow in Orlando.  If you need me before then, I'll be showing this video to my little neighbor B, who is 9 years old, but still can't ride a bike: "B, if you believe in yourself, you will know how to ride a bike!"
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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Heat 95 Raptors 89

6 Thoughts

1) My house smells like slow-roasted pork butt and cayenne.  Ahh, pork and cayenne, smells like...a methodical 6 point win over a pesky Toronto team!  Ohhh, this is gonna taste good, let's write this blog quick and get to pork and football (minus the football - I can't lie, I'll never make it through the game).

2) Last game was all about the balanced scoring, more of a scoring buffet for everyone.   Today was a more typical Heat game: KJ James (adding the "James" to the "KJ" - it's a Hubie Brown thing) was the pork, the main ingredient, with 30 points on 17 shots, and 9 rebounds.  Dwyane was the spice, the cayenne, with 25 on 14 shots.  Two more blocks for Dwyane - have Eric Reid or Tony Fiorentino ever pointed out on the broadcast what a good shot-blocker Dwyane is for a guard?  Not too sure, can't remember them ever mentioning it.  Bosh was like the tortilla: a little flat today, on 12 points, but had 8 boards, 4 assists, and was active defensively.  Udonis Haslem was like the homemade guacamole - added that little something extra to take it all up a notch with 8 points, including 2 big jumpers late, and 9 rebounds in 26 rock solid minutes.  He's starting to come around - two straight games in which he has made shots down the stretch.  Looking more like UD...

3) Do you want me to potentially ruin Mario Chalmers' season?  Do you want me to risk it?  Okay, I'm going to risk it.  He's generally the Heat's nachos: looks delicious, but you really shouldn't go there, it's not good for you.  But, honestly, he is shooting the crap out of the ball this year.  He made 3-5 triples again today, and he's over 46% from deep on the season.  He's also over 50% from the floor overall, and he's 80%+ from the line.  Yes, he still turns the ball over too much.  Yes, he commits insane fouls on jump shooters at the end of the shot clock.  Yes, he dribbles around the court like he just stepped off an hour on the tilt-a-whirl; and, he's the worst alley-oop passer of all-time.  But he is really, really spacing the floor this year, and I always trust him on open catch-and-shoots.  Now, get ready for the ice age of all shooting cold spells in 3, 2, 1...Sorry, Emcee...

4) Well, the Big Cat, Jamal Magloire, was back in town with the Raptors today.  He didn't injure anyone with a ridiculously hard foul, that's the first thing, that was a huge win for the Heat team.  What he did do was positively light up everyone associated with the Heat organization.  Big Cat was one of the most popular players the Heat have ever had - every player has always loved him, and both the pre and post game handshakes turned into a reception line worthy of Prince William's wedding (not Harry's when he gets married - no one is going to want to shake that snarky, gingy's hand).  Literally, the sight of the Big Cat back in The Trip was the happiest I've ever seen KJ James - as Cat engaged in conversation with Joel Anthony during pre-game warmups, KJ suddenly ran over, shoved Butter out of the way, and with a huge genuine smile (not the fake, but polite, over-smile he always gives Jax during post-game interviews) embraced Cat and shared a few warm words.  But then Cat went right back and resumed his conversation with Joel.  He didn't care that KJ James is a superstar and that Butter is a human greased-up turnover.  He treats everyone with the same respect and dignity, no matter who they are.  You know why?  What the hell is wrong is with you, I just told you: he's Big Cat Magloire!!!

5) Well, it was the annual kids day for the Sunsports broadcast.  Jax' kids were there - they do a super-solid job, although I didn't like it when Jax aborted his son's post-game interview with KJ to ask his own questions.  Not sure he did a better job than his son was doing.  Also, it was a little disturbing that former kid day star Joey Brandler, who usually does a quarter of play-by-play with Eric and Tony, had apparently been fired to open up a spot for Heat beat reporter Ira Winderman's son.  Nepotism is a heller-bitch - better you learn that now, Joey Brandler.  Although to be fair, Jake Winderman was extremely stellar.  Plus, he openly campaigned for Eric Reid's job: "This is where I want to be; this is where I have wanted to be my whole life," Winderman asserted during his second quarter announcing stint.  It's nice to see a kid with ambition.  Tony Fiorentino, predictably, got a big chuckle out of that.  Not chuckling?  The man whose job Jake was trying usurp, Eric Reid: "You can go to hell, kid."

6) Great friend of the blog, DW, writes in to ask: "How did you meet M.Minutos?  She seems a lot cooler than you."  You know what, DW?  You can go to hell, too.  Still, though, it is a fair question, one that deserves answering.  I think some readers already know this story, so feel free to skip it if you want.  Basically, I was like 22, living in the city, after I had failed out of college.  I was totally having a hard go of it.  I couldn't get a regular job in corporate America, because I had, you know, failed out of school.  My band sucked because I had no talent, and refused to work with anyone who did.  I was broke, with no prospects, and no friends.  One evening, I was sitting in a fuckin' TGIF because they had free appetizers at happy hour - I'd go in, buy the cheapest draft beer they had, and then sit there gorging myself on the free appetizers so that I wouldn't starve to death.  While I was scarfing down crappy chicken wings, I saw this supercute little black girl sitting a few seats down from me.  It was pretty empty in there - it was a fuckin' TGIF!  I kept looking over until we "accidentally" made eye contact, and then I was, like, "Hey," and she was like, "Hey," and we started talking.  She was just getting ready to finish college, and she had come to the city to visit her boyfriend, who had a job at a music label.  So instantly, I fucking hated him, because he had this supercute girlfriend, and a job at a record label - it made it even worse that it was in the hip hop division, so I couldn't even, like, try to make a connection to him for my band.  But the more we talked, the more it came out that their relationship wasn't going well, and that she had kind of had it with him.  She was telling me, You know, it's just kind of run its course.  And they had had an argument, and she left his apartment, and had come to this bar to chill out.  She was leaving the next day, and she was, like, "I don't even want to go back to his apartment tonight, I just want to hang out in the city until my flight tomorrow," and that sounded promising, but I didn't want to show it or anything, and then she was like, "No, I shouldn't really be here, I should go back to his apartment," and that hurt my heart, but with whatever bravado I could muster up in my beaten down state, I was like, "If you don't want to be here, leave then."  And there was a long pause, and we looked at each other.  And I was feeling it - I felt sure I was feeling it, that it was really, really, really real, and I couldn't believe that she wasn't feeling the same thing.  I couldn't be that wrong.  And then she said - she said,  "You wanna go for a ride?  I got sixteen hours to burn, and I'm gonna stay up all night."  Then we fell in love, then we got married.  The end.  You know what's so weird, though?  Greg Dulli wrote a song about it, check it out:

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Time to go get this pork roast out of the oven.  We'll be back on Tuesday for a game against Cleveland.  If you need me before then, I'll be following Jake Winderman on twitter.  Happy Superbowl!
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Friday, February 3, 2012

Heat 99 Sixers 79

6 Thoughts

1) Everything's back to normal, everything's okay again.   Not with the Heat - I mean my tv is fixed, cable guy came out and re-wired some stuff.  Picture looked crys-tal, I felt like I was in Philadelphia at the game!  Oh, and the Heat won, too, a good clinical effort against an athletic and spunky Sixers squad that had been playing great at home.  Here's the rundown: in #2 we are going to highlight a new closing lineup; in #3 look at the balanced scoring effort; and in #4 review KJ's (remember: King James) performance in the new halftime game show, "Black History Month."  Then in #5 we'll make fun of Elton Brand, like we always do when we play the Sixers; and then wrap it up with a video in #6.  Let's get to it, we've got some pork to roast this weekend!

2) Okay, so when Miami put this team together last year, obviously, the closing group they had in mind, the way they wanted to end (not necessarily start) games was this: Wade and KJ at the guards handling the ball, with Miller, Bosh, and Haslem up front.  That's a great floor-spacing group: Wade and KJ can make plays for jumpers for any of the other three.  And though that group lacks bulk in the frontcourt, Wade, KJ, and Miller all rebound so well that the glass should not be a problem.  Then Miller instantly got hurt, then Udonis got hurt, and until game two of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Bulls, that group did not even play one second of basketball together.  And even then, Miller was playing with a broken thumb, and a shoulder that needed surgery, and UD had a broken foot.  This year, with the addition of Battier, and the excellent shooting of Chalmers, the rotations have been a work in progress, and we had still never seen this specific lineup.  With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Heat up 8, Coach Spo went to it - for a basketball nerd like myself, it was super-exciting, I noticed it the second they came on the court, and couldn't wait to see how it worked.  Annnnd, 5 minutes later the Heat had gone on a 15-0 run, were ahead by 23, and the game was over!  Wade and KJ handled the ball up top, and found Miller for a jumper, and then UD for back to back jumpers to push out ahead.  Open shots came easily for this group.  On the defensive end, the advantage was even more pronounced.  6'2" guard Lou Williams is the Sixers crunch time iso go-to scorer - LeBron took him and erased him.  Williams ended the game 6-17 from the floor.  Wade took Sixers point guard Jrue Holiday, and suddenly his penetrations down the lane were a lot less comfortable.  And everyone rebounded.  It obviously won't be this easy with this group every game, but this is the goal, I think.  This is how you want to close games out, with this group.

3) Balanced scoring tonight: Dwyane had 26 on 20 shots (and only 1 turnover); KJ had 19 points 12 rebounds, 8 assists (and only 2 turnovers); Chalmers had 13 (3-4 triples); Miller (2-3 triples, over 55% for the season) and Bosh each had 12; and Norris Cole chipped with 11, on 3 threes of his own.  That's rare for the Heat - usually Wade, KJ, and Bosh dominate the scoring.  But tonight those guys created for others.

4) Okay, so "Hot Seconds With Jax" ended last week, with KJ as the champion.  The next halftime game show is "Black History Month," in which each player takes a turn reading a monologue about a famous, you know, black person.  Last game, Dwyane kicked things off by reading about the Williams sisters, Venus and the other one.  Positives: Dwyane's monologue was incredibly long, seemed like 20 minutes.  His stamina was impressive.  Negatives: I didn't like his outfit, it was kind of a black-on-black shirt and suit, with a weird gray collar-y thing.  Dwyane's a great dresser - this outfit just didn't work.  Another huge negative: the Williams sisters are totally annoying.  Overall, I gave Dwyane a B.  Tonight, KJ was up, and he was excellent.  He read on Joe Louis.  As you might expect, I am skeptical that KJ has ever heard of Joe Louis.  Or boxing, for that matter.  But you never would have known that the way he cranked it out - solid reading skills, did a good job, really sold Joe Louis' career, especially the poignant part at the end when Joe Louis has IRS problems, and had to try to make a comeback way too late in life.  I also never knew that Ronald Reagan gave special permission for Joe Louis to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery when he died - thanks for the knowledge, KJ!   Also, KJ loves a scarf, like a winter scarf, and he sported a sweet one during his segment.  I mean, I don't like to have to declare a winner when you are talking about educating people about black history, but we have to.  And right now, KJ is in the lead.

5) Oh, Elton Brand.  You are the very definition of a #1 overall draft pick bust.  In fairness, you were extremely poorly coached in college, but you certainly have made minimal effort to get into basketball shape over the past few seasons.  You are a long-armed, pot-bellied anvil in the middle of both the Sixers offense and defense.  Tonight you started, but played only 23 minutes, went 0-3 from the floor, and were outscored by The Warden, Joel Anthony, 2-0.  Your highlight came on the first possession of the third quarter when the Sixers ran a set designed to get you a post touch, you spent 17 seconds trying to shove Chris Bosh out of the way so you could get to the spot, at one point turning your back to the ball that was supposed to be entered to you, just so you could continue pushing.  Finally, you cleared enough space to receive the pass, two steps further out on the wing than you were supposed to, "elevated" for a jumper, then crashed a line drive off the rim.  The next time down the court, you missed an 8 footer equally badly, and instead of trying grab the rebound, instead put two hands in Butter's back and shoved him past the ball while someone else on the Heat started a fast break.  The next time down, someone else on the Sixers shot a layup, but as the ball was spinning on the rim, about to go down, you inexplicably reached up and lightly touched it, then landed and instantly waived your hands wildly, like, "I didn't touch that," which compelled the referees to whistle you for offensive goaltending and waive off the basket.  It was really quite a stretch, Elton Brand.  It was really something.

6) So this condensed schedule is super-cutting into time to do other things.  For instance, I haven't listened to a new band in weeks and weeks.  I know there is one album I sooo want - Twilight Singers live in New York - but the Russian website doesn't have it yet.  Heaven forbid I pay like $10 for it at itunes.  But, here is a song that I absolutely have totally been loving since I first heard it this summer: "Nothing But a Miracle" by Diane Birch and Darryl Hall.  I hate to admit this, but I love, love, love Hall & Oates!  C'mon, dude, I don't care how cool, or how detached, or how ironic you are, you have to love Hall & Oates.  That is real, classic, filthy illness.  And it only gets better with time.  So now Hall has this tv show (started as a webshow) where he has musicians visit him at his pastoral estate in New York, and they eat cool food and jam.  This young gal, I don't really know anything about her, but you can tell she is feeling all over that 70s vibe so hard, and at the end of the song she bursts out smiling, like, "Holy crap, Darryl Hall just sang my song!"  So, so good:



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Well, we'll be back on Superbowl Sunday with a game against Toronto.  I'm not even going to lie: although I am super-excited about slow-roasting a pork butt for Superbowl Sunday fare, I haven't seen the actual game in a decade - I'll probably be watching the Heat game during Giants-Pats.  If you need me before then, I'll be learning the guitar part to "Nothing But a Miracle" so that Great Friend of the Blog Snets and I can rock a duet.  I gotta get myself together, people.  I gotta go out and buy myself a little black dress - I'm so tired of this t-shirt.  Night!
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Bucks 105 Heat 97

6 Thoughts

1) What a tough night.  Not for the team - for me!  Spent an hour trying to help O.Minutos with his math homework - decimals, ugh!  Then watched the continuing implosion of the University of Connecticut's basketball season - they scored under 50 points for the second straight game.  Then watched LeBron go off for 24 in the first quarter, building a nice lead for Miami, only to see Milwaukee grind their way back into the game thanks to a ton of mindless turnovers, and lazy defense.  And thennn, early in the second half, the cable got janky, and I couldn't really see the rest of the game.  Gave up halfway through the third quarter with the Heat behind, and I guess they went on to lose.  Cable has been very, very janky lately - as a temporary measure, I am going to have to suspend dvr'ing games in favor of live action.  We're going to blitz through this, mostly because I don't know what happened in the second half.  Nor, at this point, do I care.  When do the playoffs start?  Jeez...

2) In Cleveland, he was "LBJ" - can't really call LeBron that.  "LeBron" is tough to type over and over because of the extra capital letter, and it implies a certain familiarity and affection that Heat fans don't really have for him.  Calling him "King James" is ridiculous, though he does have it stenciled on his bicycle.  I suggested calling him "The King," because it is dorky and funny, but M.Minutos suggested "KJ," like old Phoenix Suns point guard (and current mayor of - oh, no! -Sacramento) Kevin Johnson, which I love and is henceforth his name in this blog, or at least until I forget.  KJ finished with 40 on only 24 shots, and also 8 rebounds and 5 assists, but he also had 7 turnovers, most of them simply lazy, tired basketball.  And he had 24 in the first quarter, so he slowed down quite a bit.

3) Miami had 40 points in the first quarter, 37 in the whole second half.  That's not good.  We've lost to Milwaukee twice this season.  We can't handle Milwaukee!  Whatever you do, Miami, avoid Milwaukee in the playoffs!  If they make it... 

4) Got nothing from the role players tonight from what I could see: Haslem, Cole, Battier, and Miller combined for 7 points on 2-11.

5) The janky dvr and loss capped off a bad day overall.  Had two disturbing thoughts during the day (related to basketball; maybe about eight overall): one, I am really way too old to care about who wins a basketball game.  It's kind of creepy to be an adult and care about who wins a basketball game, no?  I notice I can't sustain any interest in any game not involving Miami - that's unusual for me.  Usually I have some kind of rooting interest, usually against someone, in any NBA game, but now, no, I can only watch for a few minutes.  Feels kind of creepy to get involved - bad enough to be involved with my own team...Second, and related to the first point: basketball is just going to keep going.  It goes and goes and goes.  One season ends, there is a short break, and then another season begins.  There is no freakin' exit plan in sight - it is just basketball from now until the end of time!  That is unbelievably depressing.  Basketball isn't going to stop itself - it won't stop until I stop it!  In general, this season is so much more enjoyable than last season - the team is off to a better start, I am used to LeBron and Chris, but really, like the team, I am just killing time waiting for the playoffs to start.  We either will win the title or we won't.  But the really daunting thing is the thought of having to watch a whole entire season after that.  And then another.  And then another.  This is awful...

6) You want to know how I got in this bad mood?  I mean, seriously?  Obviously, it wasn't the fuzzy dvr, that's a minor inconvenience.  It wasn't even the prospect of being in a never-ending hell-like cycle of basketball seasons.  I can just not watch.  What really got me upset was when Milt Romney trounced Newt Gingrich in the Florida primary yesterday.  Do you know what that means?  NO FREAKING MOON COLONY!  It's over.  Even if Gingrich can come back and win this thing, there is no fucking way he is going to let my state participate in the moon colony in any way.  Worse, Romney is probably going to win, and then we will continue to spend our money on stupid shit like education, national defense, and trying to make sure people have enough to eat.  But not a moon colony!  Jesus, do we ever suck in Florida - we killed the moon colony!!!
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We'll be back Friday for a game vs Philadelphia, if my cable is working, and I am still watching basketball.  If you need me before then, I'll be starting up my own lobbyist group focused on the construction of moon colonies.  Don't worry about me, I'll be fine - don't you remember, I'll be slow-roasting a pork butt on Sunday!
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