6 Thoughts
1) Fantastic game, although a disappointing loss. Miami led by 11 with just under 8 minutes to go before a 12-0 Cleveland run wiped out the lead in short order. Cleveland was just a little too big, and had a few too many answers. And LeBron. Look, I thought Jamario Moon played him about as well as he can be played, and he somehow had 42 points on 21 shots. Six of seven threes - that's not fair. Furthermore, he got fouled on two other threes, so essentially it was eight of nine. I still don't think anyone is beating them in the playoffs this year.
2) LeBron: 42 points, 8 rebounds, 4 assists, 1 steal, 1 block
DWade: 41 points, 7 rebounds, 9 assists, 7 steals, 1 block
One thing nobody thinks about enough: when you have LeBron or Wade on your team, you always get the other team's A+ effort every night. When, say, the Sixers come to town with Andre Iguoldala, maybe you get the occasional B-/C+ effort. It makes a difference. When Wade and LeBron play each other, well, you get epic lines like the ones above.
3) For the second straight game, Spoelstra went bananas. Midway through the fourth quarter, after the Heat had seen their 11 point lead cut to 6, Chalmers came up over halfcourt yelling at the official for a timeout. He was approximately a foot and a half from the guy. Somehow the ref didn't hear him. LeBron James, closing on Chalmers, gave him a little bump towards the sidelines, Chalmers, with nowhere to go and falling out of bounds, hurled the ball 50 feet downcourt where it, miraculously, hit off the backboard. With half of Miami's team congregated by the bench for the timeout that was never granted, Cleveland quickly rushed the ball back downcourt and Mo Williams made an open three to cut the lead to 3. As the ball went through the net, Coach Spo was 15 feet on to the court arguing with referee Leroy Richardson who, in fairness, was not the ref who neglected to call the timeout or the LeBron bump. It happens - it certainly didn't decide the game. But it shows how important every game is to Miami, trying to scratch out wins and get in to the playoffs - even the normally composed Spoelstra is showing the tension.
4) Mo Williams, that's the guy who is going to allow Cleveland to win the title. He gives LeBron a sidekick, a guy who can create baskets on his own. He hit innumerable big shots tonight and backed LeBron's 42 with 30 of his own. Good enough to be the second best player on a championship team (as long as the best player is LeBron).
5) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino continued his campaign for Dwyane Wade as MVP. It is a season long quest for Tony who is stubbornly unaccepting of the unofficial NBA rule that says you have to be on at least a 50 win team to win an NBA MVP award. It's just the way it is - you don't have to like it. The visit from LeBron - the presumptive MVP - to Miami encouraged Tony to relate a conversation he had with Knicks head coach, and Wade and LeBron's Olympic assistant coach, Mike D'Antoni before Saturday night's Knick game. "Eric, I said to him is it a fair assessment that if Dwyane Wade was not on the Olympic team that Spain would have the gold medal right now, and he said to me, 'yes, that is a fair assessment.'" Not sure if that is going to stand up in a court of law, but there you have it..."Yeah, so then some crazy guy with a bushy moustache somehow gets down on the court before the game asking me if I thought we would have beaten Spain without Wade on team." "What did you tell him?" "I just agreed with him - I didn't know what he was going to do..."
6) Finally - caught the premier of the creative and outstanding new romantic cop dramedy on ABC called Castle. Nick Castle is a wildly successful writer of crime novels, and some girl - I didn't catch her name - is a no-nonsense, by-the-book cop. Somehow they get thrown together and have to coexist throughout one hour of television every week. He is charismatic, but immature, so he irritates her, even though she finds him attractive. She is beautiful and smart, but takes herself a little too seriously. I mean, c'mon - a female cop? That's a little out there...Anyways, in the first episode they are trying to solve a crime or something, and then one evening he goes out on a date with a young, blond bimbo. There is a slightly uncomfortable scene where the two women meet, and the cop kind of gives the airhead the proverbial cold shoulder. The next day, they have the predictable tv conversation where the cop makes a sarcastic comment about his date, and then Castle is like, "why do you care who I date," and she says, "I really don't." Then he gets up as if to walk away from her, except at the last second he wheels back around and hits her with a right cross on the temple, sending her flying out of her chair to the floor, where she lies, dazed. He stands over her and says, "do you care now, you snarky bitch?" Later in the episode, she tries to bring charges against him, but the D.A., played by Robert Urich, is kind of an "old boys network" type of guy, and dismisses her claim as "ridiculous," even though she has a lump the size of a grapefruit protruding out of her head. Good show - I predict a long and successful run.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Heat 120 Knicks 115
6 Thoughts
1) Wow. Our old friends the Knicks were in town and cruising for three plus quarters tonight, up 15 with 8:30 to go, and the Heat looked resigned to suffering a disastrous loss at home. Just when it seemed bleakest, Knick rookie Danilo Gallinari hit Wade with an inadvertent elbow, causing a ruckus, a bloody lip for Wade, and a technical foul on Heat coach Erik Spoelstra as he bum rushed referee Kenny Mauer (who told Spoelstra that Wade had "flopped," Spo later related). Wade got up blood-stained - and mad. Led the Heat on an immediate 19-0 run, scoring 15 of the points himself, and Miami escaped with a win. Now 31-27, with 24 games to go. Find 10 wins in those 24 games, and you are in the playoffs assuredly. Wade had 21 in the final 8:30, and 46 for the game. Also, 10 assists, 8 rebounds, 4 steals, and 3 blocks. Wow.
2) The other big contributor down the stretch: Jermaine O'Neal. Jermaino scored several big buckets, provided a defensive presence, and finished with 18 points, 7 rebounds, and two blocks, along with a couple of charges drawn. Shot 9-16 - including two big mid-range jumpers late. Can't jump a lick anymore; but he knows how to play the game.
3) Coach Spo's attack on Mauer was the first time he has truly lost his cool during a game all year - only a quick intervention by Heat assistant Bob McAdoo saved Mauer a potential throttling, and a certain Spoelstra ejection. It happens if you coach enough games, and tonight the result was satisfactory as the Heat seemed motivated by the incident. However, Spo is struggling with his rotations at the moment. The team looks tired, and he has made two decisions that I think are wrong: 1) He will not play Chris Quinn anymore. This is saddling Dywane Wade with too many ballhandling responsibilities, and he has to start too many drives from 25 feet away. Easy baskets are a memory for DWade right now. 2) He is going small upfront by playing Udonis Haslem at the backup center minutes, instead of Anthony or Magloire. When Haslem and Beasley are playing together upfront, it is too inviting for other teams to go to the rim - it is the exact reason he changed the starting lineup early in the season. Miami began the season starting UD at center, and the Beas at the 4, but switched about 5 games in because there was no deterrent at the basket. I think both trends are troubling, and that Spo should reconsider.
4) Speaking of Jamal Magloire, he was inactive again tonight. Nattily dressed with brown slacks and an earthy-green colored velvet blazer. That's how the big men do it in Canada - 6'11' inches of sexy velvet.
5) Little Nate Robinson - Krypto-Nate - came out smoking with 25 - yes, 25 - first half points. He is on fire lately, and really has developed in to an outstanding offensive weapon at a diminutive 5'7". Still a obnoxious punk, though - took a cheap push on Jermaine O'Neal halfway through the Heat's fourth quarter run, then backed his way in to the crowd before O'Neal could get back to him. Apparently he has never seen this:http://media.putfile.com/Pistons-Pacers-Brawl-ESPN. Jermaino is the one who comes sliding in late with the right hand on the fan in the white shirt, about a minute in to the clip. The fan is actually bigger than Nate Robinson, I think.
6) Just saw another quick news report on Sully Sullenberger, the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson. Extraordinary feat - if it really happened. Doesn't this whole thing sound a lot like the plot to Lost? Are we sure that all the people who were on the plane came back? Nobody's missing, right? I thought I noticed a slight trickle of blood in the corner of Sully's nose as he walked the red carpet at the Oscar's last week. By the way, again, what was he doing there? In a related story - now that they are time traveling, at any point will the the survivors of Oceanic 815 go back to the 1940s and try to kill Hitler? I mean, Cruise didn't get it done, from I hear...
1) Wow. Our old friends the Knicks were in town and cruising for three plus quarters tonight, up 15 with 8:30 to go, and the Heat looked resigned to suffering a disastrous loss at home. Just when it seemed bleakest, Knick rookie Danilo Gallinari hit Wade with an inadvertent elbow, causing a ruckus, a bloody lip for Wade, and a technical foul on Heat coach Erik Spoelstra as he bum rushed referee Kenny Mauer (who told Spoelstra that Wade had "flopped," Spo later related). Wade got up blood-stained - and mad. Led the Heat on an immediate 19-0 run, scoring 15 of the points himself, and Miami escaped with a win. Now 31-27, with 24 games to go. Find 10 wins in those 24 games, and you are in the playoffs assuredly. Wade had 21 in the final 8:30, and 46 for the game. Also, 10 assists, 8 rebounds, 4 steals, and 3 blocks. Wow.
2) The other big contributor down the stretch: Jermaine O'Neal. Jermaino scored several big buckets, provided a defensive presence, and finished with 18 points, 7 rebounds, and two blocks, along with a couple of charges drawn. Shot 9-16 - including two big mid-range jumpers late. Can't jump a lick anymore; but he knows how to play the game.
3) Coach Spo's attack on Mauer was the first time he has truly lost his cool during a game all year - only a quick intervention by Heat assistant Bob McAdoo saved Mauer a potential throttling, and a certain Spoelstra ejection. It happens if you coach enough games, and tonight the result was satisfactory as the Heat seemed motivated by the incident. However, Spo is struggling with his rotations at the moment. The team looks tired, and he has made two decisions that I think are wrong: 1) He will not play Chris Quinn anymore. This is saddling Dywane Wade with too many ballhandling responsibilities, and he has to start too many drives from 25 feet away. Easy baskets are a memory for DWade right now. 2) He is going small upfront by playing Udonis Haslem at the backup center minutes, instead of Anthony or Magloire. When Haslem and Beasley are playing together upfront, it is too inviting for other teams to go to the rim - it is the exact reason he changed the starting lineup early in the season. Miami began the season starting UD at center, and the Beas at the 4, but switched about 5 games in because there was no deterrent at the basket. I think both trends are troubling, and that Spo should reconsider.
4) Speaking of Jamal Magloire, he was inactive again tonight. Nattily dressed with brown slacks and an earthy-green colored velvet blazer. That's how the big men do it in Canada - 6'11' inches of sexy velvet.
5) Little Nate Robinson - Krypto-Nate - came out smoking with 25 - yes, 25 - first half points. He is on fire lately, and really has developed in to an outstanding offensive weapon at a diminutive 5'7". Still a obnoxious punk, though - took a cheap push on Jermaine O'Neal halfway through the Heat's fourth quarter run, then backed his way in to the crowd before O'Neal could get back to him. Apparently he has never seen this:http://media.putfile.com/Pistons-Pacers-Brawl-ESPN. Jermaino is the one who comes sliding in late with the right hand on the fan in the white shirt, about a minute in to the clip. The fan is actually bigger than Nate Robinson, I think.
6) Just saw another quick news report on Sully Sullenberger, the guy who landed the plane in the Hudson. Extraordinary feat - if it really happened. Doesn't this whole thing sound a lot like the plot to Lost? Are we sure that all the people who were on the plane came back? Nobody's missing, right? I thought I noticed a slight trickle of blood in the corner of Sully's nose as he walked the red carpet at the Oscar's last week. By the way, again, what was he doing there? In a related story - now that they are time traveling, at any point will the the survivors of Oceanic 815 go back to the 1940s and try to kill Hitler? I mean, Cruise didn't get it done, from I hear...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Hawks 91 Heat 83
6 Thoughts
1) Absolutely horrific performance in Atlanta, the team directly above Miami in the playoff standings - one of the year's worst. Dwyane Wade - disinterested. Udonis Haslem - slow. Jermaine O'Neal - innumerable shots missed right at the rim. Mario Chalmers - indescribably awful. Mike Beasley - Mike Beasley was great, actually. The one guy for Miami who showed up. 23 points in 25 minutes for Mike, 16 in the fourth quarter. He gave the Heat a chance to hang in there, but never got any help.
2) Huge game at home tomorrow against the New York Knicks. Heat need to keep grinding out wins where they can if they want to hold on to a playoff spot. The Knicks are a sub .500 team, who also played a game tonight. Have to have it. 30-27, but the schedule is huge: two games against Cleveland next week. That's not good.
3) The rotation is in disarray. This is partly due to the trade, but partly due to some changes with the existing roster. Jamal Magloire hasn't played in two weeks - Haslem now plays the backup center minutes, with Beasley playing the power forward spot next to him. Moon and Diawara split the small forward minutes, though Moon has looked like the better player. Most significantly, Chris Quinn has been de-rotationed for the last two weeks. Wade has played the backup point guard minutes, with Daequan Cook playing more minutes next to him. This is problematic as it increases the workload for Wade. Especially on a night where Chalmers struggles, it gives Wade far too much to do - it helps him immensely to get him off the ball some of the time. But Quinn's struggles defensively, and Cook's continued progress in that area, make it difficult not to give Daequan Quinn's minutes. It's fluid, but it is troublesome going down the stretch when you want guys to know their roles as specifically as possible.
4) Why people hate (and don't trust) referees, pt. 412: Atlanta's Marvin Williams motored down the court in transition with Chalmers tracking him from the side, and Udonis Haslem sitting back at the top of the key. Williams tried to cross over his dribble to go around Haslem, tangled up his own feet, and fell to the court. Referee Ed Malloy, on the opposite side of the court from Chalmers (thus, with Williams in between the ref and Mario), blew his whistle and called a tripping foul on Chalmers. He couldn't possibly have known if Chalmers tripped Williams because Williams himself was blocking his view. And, in fact, Chalmers was at least five feet away from Williams - he wasn't close enough to have stuck out his foot intentionally to trip Williams, even if he had wanted to. Stupid call - don't call something if you are only guessing - but fine, it can happen in the heat of the moment. However, referee Tom Washington - Dos Minutos' least favorite ref - running with the play on Chalmers' side, knew perfectly well that Chalmers wasn't close enough to have tripped Williams. On Malloy's foul call, Chalmers, instead of appealing to Malloy across the court, intuitively immediately turned to Washington to plead his case, knowing Washington would have seen the play correctly, would have had to, given his angle. Washington, the most incompetent and arrogant of officials - he has the little man's syndrome - dismissed Chalmers with a wave off and ran away from him back down the court. Look, I know a referee is never going to go over to one of his partners and say, "hey, look, I had a better angle - Chalmers didn't trip him - he wasn't even close enough." I assume it is against league policy, even though the league claims that it is not. But I don't understand why. It just seems like in the case of a call blown that badly, it would improve everyone's respect for the refs if they could admit a mistake was made, and correct it. It wasn't a big call in the game. However, the NBA is the one professional American sport where fans actually believe that referees are sent out by the league - especially in the playoffs - with an agenda to try to control an outcome. Whether it is true or not, fans - and, frankly, players - believe it. Why not try to create a little more respect for the position by admitting a blatant error once in a while?
5) The Heat relaxed its "no headbands" rule for the first time in memory, allowing Jermaine O'Neal to don his signature forehead-wear. In a related story, O'Neal was 3-10 - all from approximately two feet - for 8 points, while Atlanta center Al Horford went bananas with a career game of 21 points and 22 rebounds. That's why we have the rule, Jermaine.
6) Okay, time for "What Dos Minutos is Listening to This Week." This week it is an old album, the Afghan Whigs' Black Love, from 1996. Look, it isn't even their best album - that would be, easily, Gentlemen - but it is certainly the best album ever about a crazed white guy living in a post-apocalyptic, crime-ridden, black inner city, trying to fend off hood gangsters and salvage a relationship with a black ghetto queen that he knows is doomed to fail due to both circumstance and his own inability to stay coherent. Sounds crazy, right? It's f-ed the hell up... "My Enemy" is the best song written about having guys creeping up on you from behind, and "Step in to the Light" is a top quality slow burner about a brief moment of clarity and plea for help from a guy who knows he is going irreversibly down. The Whigs are basically a white dude soul and funk band who turn up the electric guitars to "dissonant feedback," and don't worry much about singing in tune, or syncing the choruses up correctly in post-production. "Summer's Kiss" is the best "Baba O'Riley" knock-off ever - it's like they tried to cover the Who classic even though they didn't really remember how it goes, or know the lyrics. Plus, it is isn't quite finished. But it is recklessly excellent. They are one of the great 90s bands that never quite made it, but only because people have bad taste, not because they weren't awesome. As The Captain would say, do yourself a favor...
1) Absolutely horrific performance in Atlanta, the team directly above Miami in the playoff standings - one of the year's worst. Dwyane Wade - disinterested. Udonis Haslem - slow. Jermaine O'Neal - innumerable shots missed right at the rim. Mario Chalmers - indescribably awful. Mike Beasley - Mike Beasley was great, actually. The one guy for Miami who showed up. 23 points in 25 minutes for Mike, 16 in the fourth quarter. He gave the Heat a chance to hang in there, but never got any help.
2) Huge game at home tomorrow against the New York Knicks. Heat need to keep grinding out wins where they can if they want to hold on to a playoff spot. The Knicks are a sub .500 team, who also played a game tonight. Have to have it. 30-27, but the schedule is huge: two games against Cleveland next week. That's not good.
3) The rotation is in disarray. This is partly due to the trade, but partly due to some changes with the existing roster. Jamal Magloire hasn't played in two weeks - Haslem now plays the backup center minutes, with Beasley playing the power forward spot next to him. Moon and Diawara split the small forward minutes, though Moon has looked like the better player. Most significantly, Chris Quinn has been de-rotationed for the last two weeks. Wade has played the backup point guard minutes, with Daequan Cook playing more minutes next to him. This is problematic as it increases the workload for Wade. Especially on a night where Chalmers struggles, it gives Wade far too much to do - it helps him immensely to get him off the ball some of the time. But Quinn's struggles defensively, and Cook's continued progress in that area, make it difficult not to give Daequan Quinn's minutes. It's fluid, but it is troublesome going down the stretch when you want guys to know their roles as specifically as possible.
4) Why people hate (and don't trust) referees, pt. 412: Atlanta's Marvin Williams motored down the court in transition with Chalmers tracking him from the side, and Udonis Haslem sitting back at the top of the key. Williams tried to cross over his dribble to go around Haslem, tangled up his own feet, and fell to the court. Referee Ed Malloy, on the opposite side of the court from Chalmers (thus, with Williams in between the ref and Mario), blew his whistle and called a tripping foul on Chalmers. He couldn't possibly have known if Chalmers tripped Williams because Williams himself was blocking his view. And, in fact, Chalmers was at least five feet away from Williams - he wasn't close enough to have stuck out his foot intentionally to trip Williams, even if he had wanted to. Stupid call - don't call something if you are only guessing - but fine, it can happen in the heat of the moment. However, referee Tom Washington - Dos Minutos' least favorite ref - running with the play on Chalmers' side, knew perfectly well that Chalmers wasn't close enough to have tripped Williams. On Malloy's foul call, Chalmers, instead of appealing to Malloy across the court, intuitively immediately turned to Washington to plead his case, knowing Washington would have seen the play correctly, would have had to, given his angle. Washington, the most incompetent and arrogant of officials - he has the little man's syndrome - dismissed Chalmers with a wave off and ran away from him back down the court. Look, I know a referee is never going to go over to one of his partners and say, "hey, look, I had a better angle - Chalmers didn't trip him - he wasn't even close enough." I assume it is against league policy, even though the league claims that it is not. But I don't understand why. It just seems like in the case of a call blown that badly, it would improve everyone's respect for the refs if they could admit a mistake was made, and correct it. It wasn't a big call in the game. However, the NBA is the one professional American sport where fans actually believe that referees are sent out by the league - especially in the playoffs - with an agenda to try to control an outcome. Whether it is true or not, fans - and, frankly, players - believe it. Why not try to create a little more respect for the position by admitting a blatant error once in a while?
5) The Heat relaxed its "no headbands" rule for the first time in memory, allowing Jermaine O'Neal to don his signature forehead-wear. In a related story, O'Neal was 3-10 - all from approximately two feet - for 8 points, while Atlanta center Al Horford went bananas with a career game of 21 points and 22 rebounds. That's why we have the rule, Jermaine.
6) Okay, time for "What Dos Minutos is Listening to This Week." This week it is an old album, the Afghan Whigs' Black Love, from 1996. Look, it isn't even their best album - that would be, easily, Gentlemen - but it is certainly the best album ever about a crazed white guy living in a post-apocalyptic, crime-ridden, black inner city, trying to fend off hood gangsters and salvage a relationship with a black ghetto queen that he knows is doomed to fail due to both circumstance and his own inability to stay coherent. Sounds crazy, right? It's f-ed the hell up... "My Enemy" is the best song written about having guys creeping up on you from behind, and "Step in to the Light" is a top quality slow burner about a brief moment of clarity and plea for help from a guy who knows he is going irreversibly down. The Whigs are basically a white dude soul and funk band who turn up the electric guitars to "dissonant feedback," and don't worry much about singing in tune, or syncing the choruses up correctly in post-production. "Summer's Kiss" is the best "Baba O'Riley" knock-off ever - it's like they tried to cover the Who classic even though they didn't really remember how it goes, or know the lyrics. Plus, it is isn't quite finished. But it is recklessly excellent. They are one of the great 90s bands that never quite made it, but only because people have bad taste, not because they weren't awesome. As The Captain would say, do yourself a favor...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Heat 103 Pistons 91
6 Thoughts
1) Cue the bagpipes! Good, focused win at home over nemesis Detroit in a playoff style atmosphere. 30th win of the season, doubling last year's total with 26 to play. Detroit, jockeying with Miami and others in the playoff race, loses it 7th (!) in a row.
2) Six guys in double figures in an ultra-efficient offensive performance, led by Wade's 31, with a career high 16 assist, and 7 rebounds. He was spectacular. Detroit seemed willing to play a halfcourt game with Miami - Coach Spoelstra, sensing the big game, and with Chalmers in foul trouble, gave the ball to Wade and let him walk it up the court the entire second half, look the defense over, and make plays. If you are Detroit, or any Miami opponent, you can't let that happen. You can't let Wade walk it up and survey you - he will kill you. You have to jump him with extra defenders, you have to keep the ball out of hands - anything but let him walk it up and look you over. Miami won a championship doing that - Detroit found out why tonight. Wade picked them apart.
3) Great night for newly crowned NBA 3 point champion Daequan Cook who scored 16 points on 4-8 threes, and played hard-nosed defense on Rip Hamilton, Iverson, and Stuckey. Made it a point to pick up Hamilton up two and a half steps earlier than a normal defender, clearly sending a message to Rip that he was there to play. Also, involved in the game's wackiest sequence when he got elbowed in the breadbasket by Iverson, keeled over on to court while Miami rushed down and missed a Wade jumper at the other end. Got up as Detroit pushed back on a fast break, provided some token resistance, causing a miss, then immediately fell back to the floor and curled up in to the fetal position. With the entire Heat bench telling Wade to call a timeout, he instead went back up the court 4 against 5, and Jermaine O'Neal tipped in a miss, before Yakhouba Diawara took a foul to stop the clock, whereupon DCook was scraped off the court and deposited on the bench. Minutes later, sideline reporter Jason Jackson reported that Daequan was suffering from "a lower abdominal bruise," and that "his time on the bench has helped him to relax." Never fun to get rocked in the Will.I.Ams.
4) This Allen Iverson. Jesus. I am not a fan. I have never liked him, but at this even less efficient point of his career, watching him dribble the ball all over the court with his teammates standing around waiting in vain for him to give up the rock, was the basketball equivalent of watching him drop trouser and yank it to completion at halfcourt, and then motioning for a ballboy to come clean it up. Look - the Pistons have won 50 games and been to the Eastern Conference Finals since approximately the beginning of the first Bush administration - Papa Bush. Now they swap Billups for Iverson, and have lost 7 in a row, bring their best player, Hamilton, off the bench, and are a game under .500 for the season, with a brutal upcoming schedule. Iverson is an absolute testimony to lack of self-awareness. I couldn't possibly enjoy watching someone play basketball less. Also, Coach Michael Curry - don't be afraid to take him out of the game. I know you couldn't stop him when you played, but let's be honest: you couldn't really stop anybody.
5) Formerly skinny and spry Piston forward Rasheed Wallace now has a behind the size of a dump truck, and the general enthusiasm of a guy waiting in line to renew his driver's license at the DMV. It was a good game. Both teams did not play hard. Or, at least, not everybody.
6) Spotted in the crowd at the Triple A: flashy Cincinnati Bengal wide receiver Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson; L'il Wayne; Chili from TLC; and Tommy Lasorda. Not together, of course - I mean separately. Guess which one regaled sideline reporter Jason Jackson with tales of spring trainings in Vero Beach from four decades ago; said that his diet is going okay, but that he can't help but cheat on the pasta; and is uncomfortable with the direction of the country, "now that we have this black boy running things?" Right, you guessed it - L'il Wayne.
1) Cue the bagpipes! Good, focused win at home over nemesis Detroit in a playoff style atmosphere. 30th win of the season, doubling last year's total with 26 to play. Detroit, jockeying with Miami and others in the playoff race, loses it 7th (!) in a row.
2) Six guys in double figures in an ultra-efficient offensive performance, led by Wade's 31, with a career high 16 assist, and 7 rebounds. He was spectacular. Detroit seemed willing to play a halfcourt game with Miami - Coach Spoelstra, sensing the big game, and with Chalmers in foul trouble, gave the ball to Wade and let him walk it up the court the entire second half, look the defense over, and make plays. If you are Detroit, or any Miami opponent, you can't let that happen. You can't let Wade walk it up and survey you - he will kill you. You have to jump him with extra defenders, you have to keep the ball out of hands - anything but let him walk it up and look you over. Miami won a championship doing that - Detroit found out why tonight. Wade picked them apart.
3) Great night for newly crowned NBA 3 point champion Daequan Cook who scored 16 points on 4-8 threes, and played hard-nosed defense on Rip Hamilton, Iverson, and Stuckey. Made it a point to pick up Hamilton up two and a half steps earlier than a normal defender, clearly sending a message to Rip that he was there to play. Also, involved in the game's wackiest sequence when he got elbowed in the breadbasket by Iverson, keeled over on to court while Miami rushed down and missed a Wade jumper at the other end. Got up as Detroit pushed back on a fast break, provided some token resistance, causing a miss, then immediately fell back to the floor and curled up in to the fetal position. With the entire Heat bench telling Wade to call a timeout, he instead went back up the court 4 against 5, and Jermaine O'Neal tipped in a miss, before Yakhouba Diawara took a foul to stop the clock, whereupon DCook was scraped off the court and deposited on the bench. Minutes later, sideline reporter Jason Jackson reported that Daequan was suffering from "a lower abdominal bruise," and that "his time on the bench has helped him to relax." Never fun to get rocked in the Will.I.Ams.
4) This Allen Iverson. Jesus. I am not a fan. I have never liked him, but at this even less efficient point of his career, watching him dribble the ball all over the court with his teammates standing around waiting in vain for him to give up the rock, was the basketball equivalent of watching him drop trouser and yank it to completion at halfcourt, and then motioning for a ballboy to come clean it up. Look - the Pistons have won 50 games and been to the Eastern Conference Finals since approximately the beginning of the first Bush administration - Papa Bush. Now they swap Billups for Iverson, and have lost 7 in a row, bring their best player, Hamilton, off the bench, and are a game under .500 for the season, with a brutal upcoming schedule. Iverson is an absolute testimony to lack of self-awareness. I couldn't possibly enjoy watching someone play basketball less. Also, Coach Michael Curry - don't be afraid to take him out of the game. I know you couldn't stop him when you played, but let's be honest: you couldn't really stop anybody.
5) Formerly skinny and spry Piston forward Rasheed Wallace now has a behind the size of a dump truck, and the general enthusiasm of a guy waiting in line to renew his driver's license at the DMV. It was a good game. Both teams did not play hard. Or, at least, not everybody.
6) Spotted in the crowd at the Triple A: flashy Cincinnati Bengal wide receiver Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson; L'il Wayne; Chili from TLC; and Tommy Lasorda. Not together, of course - I mean separately. Guess which one regaled sideline reporter Jason Jackson with tales of spring trainings in Vero Beach from four decades ago; said that his diet is going okay, but that he can't help but cheat on the pasta; and is uncomfortable with the direction of the country, "now that we have this black boy running things?" Right, you guessed it - L'il Wayne.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Magic 122 Heat 99
Missed the game: Tivo malfunction - Operator error. That's the third missed game of the year, through 55. 27 to go, can only miss one more to set a new Dos Minutos season high.
Dwyane Wade had a career high 50 - sorry I missed that.
Orlando shot 17-32 on threes, led by 15 after one quarter, and it was never close - not sorry I missed that...
Watched Frost/Nixon last night. It is the best movie I have seen since All the President's Men.
Really good movie, not great - compelling for the first two-thirds, then kind of petered out, I thought. Kind of like Chris Webber's career. It felt like the drama (in the movie, not Webber's career) built and built, and created a sufficient sense of suspense, and then Nixon's ultimate admission of responsibility was so benign that it was anti-climactic. Essentially - and I hope I am not ruining it for anyone unaware of Nixon - he said, Yes, I made some mistakes and let the country down. I suppose it is a sign of the times - at that point people, I suppose, maybe expected more of their president, and, perhaps, the Vietnam War had been so traumatizing that people needed someone to blame, and wanted someone to accept fault, needed some sort of cathartic moment, however small it may have been. Thirty-odd years later we are more conditioned to failure, and were George Bush to make a similar admission about Iraq or the economy, I suspect we would all shrug our shoulders, think to ourselves, "no s---, Sherlock," and move on with our lives.
The two best things in the movie:
1) In the film epilogue where someone points out Nixon's most enduring legacy is that, whenever we have a cover-up that turns into a big fiasco - or anything negative, really - we just attach a "-gate" on the end, and we all know exactly what we are talking about. "Steroid-gate," etc. Excellent! Especially so, because when you think about it, "gate" isn't even a separate word in "Watergate" - it's all one word - so it wasn't even that natural to separate it out from the "water." We really had to make an effort there, we really had a need to be able to specify just how annoying and pitiful certain situations were.
2) Kevin Bacon. Always outstanding and, perhaps, now starting to reconstruct his career after the gay-Michael-Jordan-underwear commercials. Or, as I like to call it, "Hanes-gate."
Dwyane Wade had a career high 50 - sorry I missed that.
Orlando shot 17-32 on threes, led by 15 after one quarter, and it was never close - not sorry I missed that...
Watched Frost/Nixon last night. It is the best movie I have seen since All the President's Men.
Really good movie, not great - compelling for the first two-thirds, then kind of petered out, I thought. Kind of like Chris Webber's career. It felt like the drama (in the movie, not Webber's career) built and built, and created a sufficient sense of suspense, and then Nixon's ultimate admission of responsibility was so benign that it was anti-climactic. Essentially - and I hope I am not ruining it for anyone unaware of Nixon - he said, Yes, I made some mistakes and let the country down. I suppose it is a sign of the times - at that point people, I suppose, maybe expected more of their president, and, perhaps, the Vietnam War had been so traumatizing that people needed someone to blame, and wanted someone to accept fault, needed some sort of cathartic moment, however small it may have been. Thirty-odd years later we are more conditioned to failure, and were George Bush to make a similar admission about Iraq or the economy, I suspect we would all shrug our shoulders, think to ourselves, "no s---, Sherlock," and move on with our lives.
The two best things in the movie:
1) In the film epilogue where someone points out Nixon's most enduring legacy is that, whenever we have a cover-up that turns into a big fiasco - or anything negative, really - we just attach a "-gate" on the end, and we all know exactly what we are talking about. "Steroid-gate," etc. Excellent! Especially so, because when you think about it, "gate" isn't even a separate word in "Watergate" - it's all one word - so it wasn't even that natural to separate it out from the "water." We really had to make an effort there, we really had a need to be able to specify just how annoying and pitiful certain situations were.
2) Kevin Bacon. Always outstanding and, perhaps, now starting to reconstruct his career after the gay-Michael-Jordan-underwear commercials. Or, as I like to call it, "Hanes-gate."
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Heat 97 Sixers 91
6 Thoughts
1) Miami slides by in a classic, grinding Eastern conference game in Miami against a Sixers team that is tall, athletic, and also fighting for a playoff spot. Miami improves to 29-25, Sixers fall back a little to 27-27. With a quick turnaround game in Orlando tomorrow, and having lost two in a row at home, it was an important win. Wade did everything that he always does: 25 efficient points on only 14 shots, 9 assists, 4 rebounds, 3 (!) blocks, and 2 steals. But it wasn't only Wade. There were: New Guys!
2) New guy # 1: Jermaine O'Neal. Jermaino delivered his second straight competent night in the offensive low and mid-post, 17 points on 8-12 shooting, and 10 rebounds. Look, he has a lot of miles on the tires, and he lacks lift around the rim - several times he struggled against the livelier Sixer bodies of Marresse Speights, Andre Iguodala, and South Florida Haitian community favorite Sam Dalembert. However, he has several offensive qualities that none of the other 3 Heat centers (Anthony, Magloire, Blount) can offer: 1) he can make a mid-range jump shot; 2) he can create his own shot with back-to-the-basket low post moves; 3) other teams double team him if he catches the ball low in the post; 4) on a pick and roll, when he rolls, he can catch the pass, and then concievably might be able to finish at the rim; 5) he is a good passer; 6) he has a quality sense of how to play NBA-style offense, and rarely does anything that makes you shake your head and say, "well, that was retarded." It is night and day - you could see Dwyane Wade seeking him out to run pick and rolls throughout the game. Wade may already have a higher level of trust with O'Neal than he does with any other Heat offensive player. And the feeling is mutual - after the game Jermaino told sideline reporter Jason Jackson "in all my years in the NBA, I have played against a lot of great players, but I have never played with a player like Dwyane Wade. I know if I get to the right spot, he distorts the defense so much, I will have easy plays at the cup, like tonight." If he can stay on the court, this guy can Miami better, at least in the short term.
3) New guy # 2: Jamario Moon. Essentially has the exact same game as the man he and O'Neal were traded for, Shawn Marion. However, in one week he has figured out what Bad Santa never did: if I just run up and down along the baseline, eventually Dwyane Wade will get middle, flip the ball up in the air to me, and I will dunk it. Moon had 12 points on 4 dunks, an alley-oop layup, and 2 free throws when he was fouled on an alley oop dunk. Missed 4 jumpers, displaying a lack of touch from a small forward unseen in these parts since, well, last week...when Shawn Marion was still on the team. Moon played the entire 4th quarter, assigned much of the time to try to calm down...
4) ...Andre Miller. My goodness, he just keeps trucking along at 33, with the herky-jerky YMCA game of a 43 year old, which, tonight, was incredibly effective - his 30 points kept the Sixers around all evening. Spent much of the game dribbling the ball with a forearm planted in Emcee Chalmers' chest - anytime Chalmers would try to push up through it, Miller would rock back, pick up his dribble, and just stumble backwards, drawing a foul. Frustrating night for Mario, who couldn't stay on the court for extended stretches, and a great night for the wily veteran Miller.
5) Mike Beasley looks like he is dragging a little. Some rookies come in to the league already men - he isn't one of them. He still has a little baby fat to his body, and maybe to his brain - he doesn't always push through in tough moments. Tonight's 8 points and 3 rebounds in 25 minutes was a little soft. It was "Kid's Night" at the arena, and one of the features was that we learned a little bit about the childhood of each Heat player. Mike's favorite player growing up? Vince Carter. A couple of thoughts on that: 1) How old is Vince Carter? 2) How old am I? 3) That explains the occasional lack of focus and toughness on Mike's part. 4) I am pretty sure that earlier this season, Mike cited his favorite player growing up as Darius Miles which was, in retrospect, probably a joke.
6) Had arguably the most frustrating experience of my life today - at a minimum, the most frustrating experience of my life featuring bagpipes. Finally downloaded what I thought would be a classic bagpipe album to blare when...well, anytime. It was by a band called The Caledonians, and the name of the album was The Essential Bagpipe Collection. Bagpipe gold, right? No, not bagpipe gold. Far, far from it. For about 40 seconds all was well - the snare drums rolled and snapped, the bagpipes kicked in with a wailing lament, and I felt transported to the Scottish Highlands. Then, as if inserted specifically to ruin the song, a bass, keyboards, and acoustic guitar suddenly kicked in, turning the sober march in to a Holiday Inn lounge fest. Every song was the same way. Back to the drawing board on the bagpipe music.
1) Miami slides by in a classic, grinding Eastern conference game in Miami against a Sixers team that is tall, athletic, and also fighting for a playoff spot. Miami improves to 29-25, Sixers fall back a little to 27-27. With a quick turnaround game in Orlando tomorrow, and having lost two in a row at home, it was an important win. Wade did everything that he always does: 25 efficient points on only 14 shots, 9 assists, 4 rebounds, 3 (!) blocks, and 2 steals. But it wasn't only Wade. There were: New Guys!
2) New guy # 1: Jermaine O'Neal. Jermaino delivered his second straight competent night in the offensive low and mid-post, 17 points on 8-12 shooting, and 10 rebounds. Look, he has a lot of miles on the tires, and he lacks lift around the rim - several times he struggled against the livelier Sixer bodies of Marresse Speights, Andre Iguodala, and South Florida Haitian community favorite Sam Dalembert. However, he has several offensive qualities that none of the other 3 Heat centers (Anthony, Magloire, Blount) can offer: 1) he can make a mid-range jump shot; 2) he can create his own shot with back-to-the-basket low post moves; 3) other teams double team him if he catches the ball low in the post; 4) on a pick and roll, when he rolls, he can catch the pass, and then concievably might be able to finish at the rim; 5) he is a good passer; 6) he has a quality sense of how to play NBA-style offense, and rarely does anything that makes you shake your head and say, "well, that was retarded." It is night and day - you could see Dwyane Wade seeking him out to run pick and rolls throughout the game. Wade may already have a higher level of trust with O'Neal than he does with any other Heat offensive player. And the feeling is mutual - after the game Jermaino told sideline reporter Jason Jackson "in all my years in the NBA, I have played against a lot of great players, but I have never played with a player like Dwyane Wade. I know if I get to the right spot, he distorts the defense so much, I will have easy plays at the cup, like tonight." If he can stay on the court, this guy can Miami better, at least in the short term.
3) New guy # 2: Jamario Moon. Essentially has the exact same game as the man he and O'Neal were traded for, Shawn Marion. However, in one week he has figured out what Bad Santa never did: if I just run up and down along the baseline, eventually Dwyane Wade will get middle, flip the ball up in the air to me, and I will dunk it. Moon had 12 points on 4 dunks, an alley-oop layup, and 2 free throws when he was fouled on an alley oop dunk. Missed 4 jumpers, displaying a lack of touch from a small forward unseen in these parts since, well, last week...when Shawn Marion was still on the team. Moon played the entire 4th quarter, assigned much of the time to try to calm down...
4) ...Andre Miller. My goodness, he just keeps trucking along at 33, with the herky-jerky YMCA game of a 43 year old, which, tonight, was incredibly effective - his 30 points kept the Sixers around all evening. Spent much of the game dribbling the ball with a forearm planted in Emcee Chalmers' chest - anytime Chalmers would try to push up through it, Miller would rock back, pick up his dribble, and just stumble backwards, drawing a foul. Frustrating night for Mario, who couldn't stay on the court for extended stretches, and a great night for the wily veteran Miller.
5) Mike Beasley looks like he is dragging a little. Some rookies come in to the league already men - he isn't one of them. He still has a little baby fat to his body, and maybe to his brain - he doesn't always push through in tough moments. Tonight's 8 points and 3 rebounds in 25 minutes was a little soft. It was "Kid's Night" at the arena, and one of the features was that we learned a little bit about the childhood of each Heat player. Mike's favorite player growing up? Vince Carter. A couple of thoughts on that: 1) How old is Vince Carter? 2) How old am I? 3) That explains the occasional lack of focus and toughness on Mike's part. 4) I am pretty sure that earlier this season, Mike cited his favorite player growing up as Darius Miles which was, in retrospect, probably a joke.
6) Had arguably the most frustrating experience of my life today - at a minimum, the most frustrating experience of my life featuring bagpipes. Finally downloaded what I thought would be a classic bagpipe album to blare when...well, anytime. It was by a band called The Caledonians, and the name of the album was The Essential Bagpipe Collection. Bagpipe gold, right? No, not bagpipe gold. Far, far from it. For about 40 seconds all was well - the snare drums rolled and snapped, the bagpipes kicked in with a wailing lament, and I felt transported to the Scottish Highlands. Then, as if inserted specifically to ruin the song, a bass, keyboards, and acoustic guitar suddenly kicked in, turning the sober march in to a Holiday Inn lounge fest. Every song was the same way. Back to the drawing board on the bagpipe music.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Timberwolves 111 Heat 104
6 Thoughts
1) Horrific loss at home, absolutely horrific. The kind of loss that comes back to haunt you down the stretch of a playoff push. The worst roster in basketball comes in to Miami, out rebounds the Heat 49-24 (unfathomable), and drills 14-22 threes. Including tonight, Miami's remaining thirty games included just 4 games against non-playoff contenders - they just burned one of those games.
2) Needless to say, the Jermaine O'Neal Era - not off to the best start. Acquired over the weekend in a swap for Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion, Jermaino started and took all of 46 seconds to post up, receive a pass, wheel to the basket, and get fouled on the shot. 53 games in to the season, it marks the Heat's first actual post move of the year, and the first foul against a Miami big man that was not an accident. Jermaino looked good with 13 points on 6-9, several nifty passes, and a general sense of competence in the middle, but played limited minutes in the second half after absorbing a wicked elbow from Mike Miller while drawing a charge. Though the loss was a bad one - probably the worst of the season - it was easy to see how Jermaine O'Neal will help this team.
3) Eric Reid sounded giddy talking about the trade before the game, relishing the thought of an actual post presence for Miami. Tried to pay a moment of respect for Marion's service, bringing down the enthusiasm with a reflective, "I'm glad we got a chance to know him," before ramping it back up with a "but he's gone now!" M. Minutos pointed out that Jermaine O'Neal's pre-game interview with Jason Jackson was approximately 70% easier to understand than any Shawn Marion response from the past twelve months, "so it's already an upgrade."
4) 16 points and 9 rebounds in 31 minutes for very white Minnesota rookie Kevin Love. Got off to a slow start this season but has really come on as of late. He is going to be frustrating taller, more athletic opponents for the next decade. Understands how to play, how to use his width, good passer, good shooter. Another member of the extraordinarily competent rookie class this year.
5) Let's move past the game to some other business because the game was depressing. TOMMY WADE - this is to you. Somehow this got put aside several weeks ago, but we recently noticed an unfilled request from reader TOMMY WADE for "Dos Minutos: The Record, Vol. 1." TOMMY WADE - you must tell us where to send the record, kid. Email us at fourthwheel@yahoo.com, and we'll get it right out to you. And thank you for reading Dos Minutos - we don't have any idea who you are, but you seem like a quality dude who can appreciate good music.
6) Finally, as always, many, many responses to our Rejected Blog Topics post over All-Star weekend. Mostly complaints, actually. Here are the ones we remember:
A lot of complaints that people can't tell "which ones are real." Actually, in that post they were all real, except for the one where I lived in a Palestinian neighborhood and ate spaghetti out of a can, that was made up.
Someone complained that they never heard of Tape, starring Robert Sean Leonard, Uma Thurman, and author Ethan Hawke. Right. Just to clarify - that was the point.
Someone commented that this site "is no deadspin.com." For those who don't know, Deadspin is a sports-themed gossip site where they post pictures of say, Michael Phelps smoking pot at a party (is that even illegal?). It's a fair point - like, we have celebrity stories also, but they are mostly made up.
Thor called very upset to say that I messed up the Jodie Foster line in Contact. It's "okay to go," not "ready to go." That's the whole point he says, that you would expect her to say the latter, rather than the former. His wife - who originally pointed the line out to me in the first place - was also disappointed in me. He called me a nasty name, I forget what, but tone-wise it was like the Australian equivalent of calling someone a dink. I feel bad about that one.
Someone pointed out that we seem to use "white" to describe people critically on this website. This particular reader - I am assuming he was white from his tone, and his excellent grammar - was upset about that. It's not meant to be that way at all - I am very, very white, and there is nothing wrong with that. To all our white readers - relax, it's okay, no one is making fun of you. At least, not that you know of.
One reader pointed out that KT Tunstall is for 15 year old girls and it was idiotic to download her in the first place. I know that now. I feel bad that it happened, it shouldn't have gone down that way, you're absolutely correct, sir.
Surprisingly, one dude asserted that Dreamgirls is, in fact, the gayer movie to watch, that he prefers The 300. He would have commented further, I imagine, but he had to go oil up his boyfriend.
Finally, The Captain asked us to reprint his entire response. It's lengthy, kind of the War and Peace of blog responses. He's a pretty slow typist, too, so we appreciate the effort. Also, we have cleaned up both the grammar, and the typos:
This post is to all the many Dos Minutos readers across the globe. Since I was present at many of these discussions at the Dos Offices, I find it necessary as well as legally compelling to qualify what was said and who said it. After all, I have a reputation to preserve as well as the fact that my parole officer might be reading this blog, clandestinely,as we speak. I will attempt to address each item in order and there are no guarantees that these comments will make any more sense than the original blog.
How about a movie that Tom C goes back and gives his mother an abortion about 7 months before he is born. That way we won't ever have to deal with Tom and the procedure will have taken place in the 1st trimester, which even Tom can accept?
Greg Norman better have good penmanship so that he can write all of those alimony checks to his ex-wife. That Chrissy Everett is a homewrecking hussy.
The human body may be made up of 90% water but these is no doubt what you're full of.
Are you and your brother the boys from "Kiterunner"?
In regards to David Bowie's music. I am not at all surprised by your vast knowledge and understanding of androgyny. Not one bit.
One of our elderly female clients mentioned that I looked much like Tyrone Power. I take this as a compliment although I draw the line at the physical similarities only. Mr Power drank, drugged and cavorted with unsavory persons. I stopped all of these indiscretions weeks ago.
Another Dos' client whom I will refer only to as Bruce H. told us that a large company had built a high-rise on Singer Island that now blocks his view from his bungalow of the Atlantic Ocean. He then lowered his voice, leaned over close to me and said the one word that scares Dos more than any other: Mormons.
Oh yes, remember the handicapped Jets fan from New York? Dos tried to have the poor guys drivers license revoked because he doesn't think it is safe for him to be driving. This is a frightening flaw in an otherwise amicable disposition.
An 8.5" rim. How gay.
That Scottish phrase isn't "crack a light", it's "light the crack". You remember, Commonwealth Ave at Kenwood Square,the winter of 1989.
There is no reason to use that salty language in the presence of M. Minutos just because she can't differentiate Sean Astin from Robert Sean Leonard. Do we have to revisit the Tyrone Power/Errol Flynn again?
Yes, Matt Drudge is still alive and cruising porn sights on his Mac.
I hate Martin Sheen more in real life than I do in that movie.
K T Tunstall doesn't have periods.
Who are you calling scraggly? Did you ever try to get a good shave and a haircut in Boston? Besides, I don't even hang out with those guys any more. Parole remember?
I used to have a crush on Aunt Esther from "Sanford and Son". Still do.
Back in November of 2000 my wife bought me a pair of underwear. On the front it says "I like Bush". I haven't worn another pair since.
I did a little research. That rather corrupt man that cleaned your headlights was Antoine Walker.
I found a great bagpipe album. It's William Wallace and Sean Connery live at the Filmore. It's 52 minutes of Gregorian Chants performed by dueling "pipers". I'll send you the link.
If you turned on SPIKE TV, would they be showing 300 or Dreamgirls? I rest my case knowing that all the many readers know which movie I voted for.
Finally, a word to M. Minutos. Is J O'neal any creepier than S Marion? Just pondering.
Dos responds: "I'm not sure I get the reference, but about 10 items in, I think it's Kenmore Square in Boston. Everything else, I agree with."
1) Horrific loss at home, absolutely horrific. The kind of loss that comes back to haunt you down the stretch of a playoff push. The worst roster in basketball comes in to Miami, out rebounds the Heat 49-24 (unfathomable), and drills 14-22 threes. Including tonight, Miami's remaining thirty games included just 4 games against non-playoff contenders - they just burned one of those games.
2) Needless to say, the Jermaine O'Neal Era - not off to the best start. Acquired over the weekend in a swap for Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion, Jermaino started and took all of 46 seconds to post up, receive a pass, wheel to the basket, and get fouled on the shot. 53 games in to the season, it marks the Heat's first actual post move of the year, and the first foul against a Miami big man that was not an accident. Jermaino looked good with 13 points on 6-9, several nifty passes, and a general sense of competence in the middle, but played limited minutes in the second half after absorbing a wicked elbow from Mike Miller while drawing a charge. Though the loss was a bad one - probably the worst of the season - it was easy to see how Jermaine O'Neal will help this team.
3) Eric Reid sounded giddy talking about the trade before the game, relishing the thought of an actual post presence for Miami. Tried to pay a moment of respect for Marion's service, bringing down the enthusiasm with a reflective, "I'm glad we got a chance to know him," before ramping it back up with a "but he's gone now!" M. Minutos pointed out that Jermaine O'Neal's pre-game interview with Jason Jackson was approximately 70% easier to understand than any Shawn Marion response from the past twelve months, "so it's already an upgrade."
4) 16 points and 9 rebounds in 31 minutes for very white Minnesota rookie Kevin Love. Got off to a slow start this season but has really come on as of late. He is going to be frustrating taller, more athletic opponents for the next decade. Understands how to play, how to use his width, good passer, good shooter. Another member of the extraordinarily competent rookie class this year.
5) Let's move past the game to some other business because the game was depressing. TOMMY WADE - this is to you. Somehow this got put aside several weeks ago, but we recently noticed an unfilled request from reader TOMMY WADE for "Dos Minutos: The Record, Vol. 1." TOMMY WADE - you must tell us where to send the record, kid. Email us at fourthwheel@yahoo.com, and we'll get it right out to you. And thank you for reading Dos Minutos - we don't have any idea who you are, but you seem like a quality dude who can appreciate good music.
6) Finally, as always, many, many responses to our Rejected Blog Topics post over All-Star weekend. Mostly complaints, actually. Here are the ones we remember:
A lot of complaints that people can't tell "which ones are real." Actually, in that post they were all real, except for the one where I lived in a Palestinian neighborhood and ate spaghetti out of a can, that was made up.
Someone complained that they never heard of Tape, starring Robert Sean Leonard, Uma Thurman, and author Ethan Hawke. Right. Just to clarify - that was the point.
Someone commented that this site "is no deadspin.com." For those who don't know, Deadspin is a sports-themed gossip site where they post pictures of say, Michael Phelps smoking pot at a party (is that even illegal?). It's a fair point - like, we have celebrity stories also, but they are mostly made up.
Thor called very upset to say that I messed up the Jodie Foster line in Contact. It's "okay to go," not "ready to go." That's the whole point he says, that you would expect her to say the latter, rather than the former. His wife - who originally pointed the line out to me in the first place - was also disappointed in me. He called me a nasty name, I forget what, but tone-wise it was like the Australian equivalent of calling someone a dink. I feel bad about that one.
Someone pointed out that we seem to use "white" to describe people critically on this website. This particular reader - I am assuming he was white from his tone, and his excellent grammar - was upset about that. It's not meant to be that way at all - I am very, very white, and there is nothing wrong with that. To all our white readers - relax, it's okay, no one is making fun of you. At least, not that you know of.
One reader pointed out that KT Tunstall is for 15 year old girls and it was idiotic to download her in the first place. I know that now. I feel bad that it happened, it shouldn't have gone down that way, you're absolutely correct, sir.
Surprisingly, one dude asserted that Dreamgirls is, in fact, the gayer movie to watch, that he prefers The 300. He would have commented further, I imagine, but he had to go oil up his boyfriend.
Finally, The Captain asked us to reprint his entire response. It's lengthy, kind of the War and Peace of blog responses. He's a pretty slow typist, too, so we appreciate the effort. Also, we have cleaned up both the grammar, and the typos:
This post is to all the many Dos Minutos readers across the globe. Since I was present at many of these discussions at the Dos Offices, I find it necessary as well as legally compelling to qualify what was said and who said it. After all, I have a reputation to preserve as well as the fact that my parole officer might be reading this blog, clandestinely,as we speak. I will attempt to address each item in order and there are no guarantees that these comments will make any more sense than the original blog.
How about a movie that Tom C goes back and gives his mother an abortion about 7 months before he is born. That way we won't ever have to deal with Tom and the procedure will have taken place in the 1st trimester, which even Tom can accept?
Greg Norman better have good penmanship so that he can write all of those alimony checks to his ex-wife. That Chrissy Everett is a homewrecking hussy.
The human body may be made up of 90% water but these is no doubt what you're full of.
Are you and your brother the boys from "Kiterunner"?
In regards to David Bowie's music. I am not at all surprised by your vast knowledge and understanding of androgyny. Not one bit.
One of our elderly female clients mentioned that I looked much like Tyrone Power. I take this as a compliment although I draw the line at the physical similarities only. Mr Power drank, drugged and cavorted with unsavory persons. I stopped all of these indiscretions weeks ago.
Another Dos' client whom I will refer only to as Bruce H. told us that a large company had built a high-rise on Singer Island that now blocks his view from his bungalow of the Atlantic Ocean. He then lowered his voice, leaned over close to me and said the one word that scares Dos more than any other: Mormons.
Oh yes, remember the handicapped Jets fan from New York? Dos tried to have the poor guys drivers license revoked because he doesn't think it is safe for him to be driving. This is a frightening flaw in an otherwise amicable disposition.
An 8.5" rim. How gay.
That Scottish phrase isn't "crack a light", it's "light the crack". You remember, Commonwealth Ave at Kenwood Square,the winter of 1989.
There is no reason to use that salty language in the presence of M. Minutos just because she can't differentiate Sean Astin from Robert Sean Leonard. Do we have to revisit the Tyrone Power/Errol Flynn again?
Yes, Matt Drudge is still alive and cruising porn sights on his Mac.
I hate Martin Sheen more in real life than I do in that movie.
K T Tunstall doesn't have periods.
Who are you calling scraggly? Did you ever try to get a good shave and a haircut in Boston? Besides, I don't even hang out with those guys any more. Parole remember?
I used to have a crush on Aunt Esther from "Sanford and Son". Still do.
Back in November of 2000 my wife bought me a pair of underwear. On the front it says "I like Bush". I haven't worn another pair since.
I did a little research. That rather corrupt man that cleaned your headlights was Antoine Walker.
I found a great bagpipe album. It's William Wallace and Sean Connery live at the Filmore. It's 52 minutes of Gregorian Chants performed by dueling "pipers". I'll send you the link.
If you turned on SPIKE TV, would they be showing 300 or Dreamgirls? I rest my case knowing that all the many readers know which movie I voted for.
Finally, a word to M. Minutos. Is J O'neal any creepier than S Marion? Just pondering.
Dos responds: "I'm not sure I get the reference, but about 10 items in, I think it's Kenmore Square in Boston. Everything else, I agree with."
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