6 Thoughts
1) Horrific loss at home, absolutely horrific. The kind of loss that comes back to haunt you down the stretch of a playoff push. The worst roster in basketball comes in to Miami, out rebounds the Heat 49-24 (unfathomable), and drills 14-22 threes. Including tonight, Miami's remaining thirty games included just 4 games against non-playoff contenders - they just burned one of those games.
2) Needless to say, the Jermaine O'Neal Era - not off to the best start. Acquired over the weekend in a swap for Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion, Jermaino started and took all of 46 seconds to post up, receive a pass, wheel to the basket, and get fouled on the shot. 53 games in to the season, it marks the Heat's first actual post move of the year, and the first foul against a Miami big man that was not an accident. Jermaino looked good with 13 points on 6-9, several nifty passes, and a general sense of competence in the middle, but played limited minutes in the second half after absorbing a wicked elbow from Mike Miller while drawing a charge. Though the loss was a bad one - probably the worst of the season - it was easy to see how Jermaine O'Neal will help this team.
3) Eric Reid sounded giddy talking about the trade before the game, relishing the thought of an actual post presence for Miami. Tried to pay a moment of respect for Marion's service, bringing down the enthusiasm with a reflective, "I'm glad we got a chance to know him," before ramping it back up with a "but he's gone now!" M. Minutos pointed out that Jermaine O'Neal's pre-game interview with Jason Jackson was approximately 70% easier to understand than any Shawn Marion response from the past twelve months, "so it's already an upgrade."
4) 16 points and 9 rebounds in 31 minutes for very white Minnesota rookie Kevin Love. Got off to a slow start this season but has really come on as of late. He is going to be frustrating taller, more athletic opponents for the next decade. Understands how to play, how to use his width, good passer, good shooter. Another member of the extraordinarily competent rookie class this year.
5) Let's move past the game to some other business because the game was depressing. TOMMY WADE - this is to you. Somehow this got put aside several weeks ago, but we recently noticed an unfilled request from reader TOMMY WADE for "Dos Minutos: The Record, Vol. 1." TOMMY WADE - you must tell us where to send the record, kid. Email us at fourthwheel@yahoo.com, and we'll get it right out to you. And thank you for reading Dos Minutos - we don't have any idea who you are, but you seem like a quality dude who can appreciate good music.
6) Finally, as always, many, many responses to our Rejected Blog Topics post over All-Star weekend. Mostly complaints, actually. Here are the ones we remember:
A lot of complaints that people can't tell "which ones are real." Actually, in that post they were all real, except for the one where I lived in a Palestinian neighborhood and ate spaghetti out of a can, that was made up.
Someone complained that they never heard of Tape, starring Robert Sean Leonard, Uma Thurman, and author Ethan Hawke. Right. Just to clarify - that was the point.
Someone commented that this site "is no deadspin.com." For those who don't know, Deadspin is a sports-themed gossip site where they post pictures of say, Michael Phelps smoking pot at a party (is that even illegal?). It's a fair point - like, we have celebrity stories also, but they are mostly made up.
Thor called very upset to say that I messed up the Jodie Foster line in Contact. It's "okay to go," not "ready to go." That's the whole point he says, that you would expect her to say the latter, rather than the former. His wife - who originally pointed the line out to me in the first place - was also disappointed in me. He called me a nasty name, I forget what, but tone-wise it was like the Australian equivalent of calling someone a dink. I feel bad about that one.
Someone pointed out that we seem to use "white" to describe people critically on this website. This particular reader - I am assuming he was white from his tone, and his excellent grammar - was upset about that. It's not meant to be that way at all - I am very, very white, and there is nothing wrong with that. To all our white readers - relax, it's okay, no one is making fun of you. At least, not that you know of.
One reader pointed out that KT Tunstall is for 15 year old girls and it was idiotic to download her in the first place. I know that now. I feel bad that it happened, it shouldn't have gone down that way, you're absolutely correct, sir.
Surprisingly, one dude asserted that Dreamgirls is, in fact, the gayer movie to watch, that he prefers The 300. He would have commented further, I imagine, but he had to go oil up his boyfriend.
Finally, The Captain asked us to reprint his entire response. It's lengthy, kind of the War and Peace of blog responses. He's a pretty slow typist, too, so we appreciate the effort. Also, we have cleaned up both the grammar, and the typos:
This post is to all the many Dos Minutos readers across the globe. Since I was present at many of these discussions at the Dos Offices, I find it necessary as well as legally compelling to qualify what was said and who said it. After all, I have a reputation to preserve as well as the fact that my parole officer might be reading this blog, clandestinely,as we speak. I will attempt to address each item in order and there are no guarantees that these comments will make any more sense than the original blog.
How about a movie that Tom C goes back and gives his mother an abortion about 7 months before he is born. That way we won't ever have to deal with Tom and the procedure will have taken place in the 1st trimester, which even Tom can accept?
Greg Norman better have good penmanship so that he can write all of those alimony checks to his ex-wife. That Chrissy Everett is a homewrecking hussy.
The human body may be made up of 90% water but these is no doubt what you're full of.
Are you and your brother the boys from "Kiterunner"?
In regards to David Bowie's music. I am not at all surprised by your vast knowledge and understanding of androgyny. Not one bit.
One of our elderly female clients mentioned that I looked much like Tyrone Power. I take this as a compliment although I draw the line at the physical similarities only. Mr Power drank, drugged and cavorted with unsavory persons. I stopped all of these indiscretions weeks ago.
Another Dos' client whom I will refer only to as Bruce H. told us that a large company had built a high-rise on Singer Island that now blocks his view from his bungalow of the Atlantic Ocean. He then lowered his voice, leaned over close to me and said the one word that scares Dos more than any other: Mormons.
Oh yes, remember the handicapped Jets fan from New York? Dos tried to have the poor guys drivers license revoked because he doesn't think it is safe for him to be driving. This is a frightening flaw in an otherwise amicable disposition.
An 8.5" rim. How gay.
That Scottish phrase isn't "crack a light", it's "light the crack". You remember, Commonwealth Ave at Kenwood Square,the winter of 1989.
There is no reason to use that salty language in the presence of M. Minutos just because she can't differentiate Sean Astin from Robert Sean Leonard. Do we have to revisit the Tyrone Power/Errol Flynn again?
Yes, Matt Drudge is still alive and cruising porn sights on his Mac.
I hate Martin Sheen more in real life than I do in that movie.
K T Tunstall doesn't have periods.
Who are you calling scraggly? Did you ever try to get a good shave and a haircut in Boston? Besides, I don't even hang out with those guys any more. Parole remember?
I used to have a crush on Aunt Esther from "Sanford and Son". Still do.
Back in November of 2000 my wife bought me a pair of underwear. On the front it says "I like Bush". I haven't worn another pair since.
I did a little research. That rather corrupt man that cleaned your headlights was Antoine Walker.
I found a great bagpipe album. It's William Wallace and Sean Connery live at the Filmore. It's 52 minutes of Gregorian Chants performed by dueling "pipers". I'll send you the link.
If you turned on SPIKE TV, would they be showing 300 or Dreamgirls? I rest my case knowing that all the many readers know which movie I voted for.
Finally, a word to M. Minutos. Is J O'neal any creepier than S Marion? Just pondering.
Dos responds: "I'm not sure I get the reference, but about 10 items in, I think it's Kenmore Square in Boston. Everything else, I agree with."
