6 Thoughts
1) It was inevitable that the Heat were going to win a home game again at some point. Now 7-7 at home, 12-11 on the season. Peer group win: Miami, somehow, still sits in fifth place in the somewhat brutal second tier of the Eastern Conference, while Toronto at 11-16, is still a playoff team at eighth. It is very, very late - went to a Christmas party this evening which ran long, and watched the game on Tivo. Had somewhere between four and eleven rum and cokes at the party, and I'm arguably still drunk. By the way, I drove home - not sure that was a good choice.
2) Okay, Mario Chalmers, we're taking away your nickname "Emcee" and replacing it with "Redz," after Cavaliers guard Delonte West. Earlier this season, the "real" Redz was suspended for what his coach, Mike Brown, termed "a failure to reach a base level of accountability." Also, for filling a guitar case with guns, and engaging in a high speed chase with the po-lice on a three-wheel motorcycle. By comparison, Mario's tardiness to pre-game shootaround seems tame by comparison, but Coach Spo still did not allow him to start, the first time in 105 career games the "new" Redz has come off the bench. Let's hope he drove home slowly, sans any musical instrument cases...
3) Mike Beasley led the way with an easy 28 points and 11 rebounds. Part of this success was due to Mike being focused, and making good decisions, although to be fair, part of it has to be attributed to the Raptors front line of Bosh, Bargnani, and Hedo Turkoglu, who, collectively, displayed the defensive athleticism and physicality of the Jonas Brothers. Man, is that team bad defensively.
4) Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino took his mother to the movies, as he often does, to see "The Blindside," starring Sandra Bullock as a petite and cute - though clearly on the far face of Sexy Mountain - white lady who rescues a large black man played by...who even knows, or cares? Let's just focus on how the white people are saving the black people - isn't that nice of them? What a feel-good holiday movie! Before you send me emails saying, "you're white-" I'm not white, I'm half-Jewish, and we aren't really trying to save anyone but ourselves...By the way, Tony and his mom? Two thumbs up. Of course - they're white!
5) Okay, game was kind of boring, so we are somewhat abandoning basketball here in the five hole, although this is still basketball-related. Sunday night, we had some leftover Thai food in the refrigerator. No one was going to eat it - M.Minutos generally treats leftovers like radioactive waste, and I don't really love Asian foodstuffs. So, I took the food and went outside to put it in the garbage can. As I passed under the basketball hoop on Antoine Walker Court in my frontyard, aka "The Pumpkin Patch," aka "The Patch," in a moment of inspiration, I suddenly sprung up in the air - okay, it was a more like a decent jump...okay, it was more like a long reach with a little hop at the end - and dunked the container of Pad Thai right through the 8 1/2 foot basket that O. and P. Minutos play on. Right through that mug! I mean, it may not sound like much, but how many times do you ever think a container of Pad Thai has been dunked through a basketball hoop? A half-dozen? At most? Now take out the times that Shaq has done it - now what's the number, one? Two? Big moment. Big, big moment. Had to scrape some Pad Thai off the driveway with the lid, which went flying, by the way, and, frankly, I'm hoping for some rain soon so that the court doesn't get too sticky. Although, I'm not sure that the man the court is named after, old 'Toine, wouldn't appreciate a little peanut sauce on his balls. So to speak...
6) Finally, little we have ever done on this stupid blog has ever triggered the reaction of the new smash hit "Jeff Jeffrey Jeff," by Teenage Middle-Age Rage (TMR). Many, many people wanted to know what the hell it was. Yes, it was about me. Many other people wrote in to say they loved it. One person wrote in to say that he wished it had words - buddy, it did have words, they just didn't start until over a minute in. By the way, I loved the long intro - the way I saw it, the long intro is the part when I am watching the Heat game on tv, then when the guitar riff starts, that's when I start writing the blog and the magic happens. And by "magic," yes, I mean the stupid stuff in here. Another person agreed with me that it was about time someone wrote a song about me - thanks, mom. Also, one person expressed disappointment that TMR hadn't written a song about her - believe me, I feel your consternation, look how many years I have been waiting. There were several requests for copies of the song - I don't know if there is anyway TMR can post that somewhere for people to download, but I think I might have a little special pull with them - I'll send them an email tomorrow, if they aren't reading this right now. Much thanks to them, by the way - you killed it. Finally, The Captain pointed out that it was two dudes singing about another dude - not that there is anything wrong with that, or, "considering it involved you, surprising!" Jeff Jeffrey Jeff!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Grizzlies 118 Heat 90
6 Thoughts
1) Oh my God, for the love of everything holy - what the hell happened? Miami loses its fourth straight at home, in a game that was never close. Memphis is sneaky-mediocre, but come on. After going out West and playing fantastic basketball, Miami has come home and been absolutely brutal. Now 6-7 at home - that's bad, very, very bad. It's inexplicable. But let's try to, umm, explicate it - that's what we do here. And, big treat at # 6.
2) I don't care how much longer - above the waist - the other team is - and Memphis is a lot longer - when you get out rebounded 49-26, your effort level is pathetic. One game after journeyman big man Eric Dampier embarrassed Miami inside, up-and-coming big man Marc Gasol went for 16 and 15 - in three quarters! He had 7 more rebounds than Jermaine O'Neal, Mike Beasley, and Udonis Haslem combined.
3) Looking for a silver lining? If you are going to get pounded by someone, get pounded by someone from Connecticut, so at least I can enjoy the game. Connecticut's Rudy Gay had a career high 41, with several highlight reel caliber dunks. Stayed in about 6 minutes longer than he should have in order to secure his first 40 point game - that's how we do it in the CT.
4) Heat announcer Eric Reid described a conversation he had with young Memphis point guard Mike Conley before the game. He asked Conley if there were any positives from the three games the irrepressibly selfish Allen Iverson spent this year with Memphis before being cut. Iverson missed most of training camp after signing a contract for the veteran minimum with Memphis when nobody else wanted him, then immediately started complaining when he wasn't anointed a starter upon his return, even though it had been made clear to him that he had been signed as a backup, and had missed training camp. Memphis has gone from bad to decent with Iverson's departure, and Iverson landed with an even worse team, Philadelphia, and has "rallied" them to several more losses. Conley cited one positive of the Iverson experience as "seeing how hard Iverson works to stay in shape to be able to compete at a high level for a long time." Also, when he left...
5) With the blowout, Memphis' third string center, Hamed Haddadi, saw 7 minutes of action. Haddadi is a 7 foot Iranian with all the foot speed and agility of the Pentagon. "Being so big," counseled Tony Fiorentino, "his strengths are low post play, shot-blocking, and _______." You make the joke. I mean, I just watched the Heat get blown out at home by a team with an Iranian center - be as mean, and politically incorrect as you want to.
6) Okay, let's let the loss go, it is just a basketball game after all, and there are things far more important in life, like talking to girls, and this next item. So often, in my travels around this great land, people will come up to me and say, "Hey, how come nobody has written a song about you yet?" And I always have the same response: "I don't know." Well, I am glad to report that this isn't going to be a problem any longer. Check this out below...
It's been a spectacularly unproductive year for Teenage Middle-Age Rage, which is not surprising given the fact that the band broke up in 2008. But then the wizened elder of the band ran into a rabid TMAR fan (in Miami, of all places), who demanded that the band reform. Well, they couldn't let down the fan base, so they reformed, recorded this tribute to the man (link below), and quickly broke up again. But it was glorious while it lasted!
TMAR
"Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atm6YHiNNHc
1) Oh my God, for the love of everything holy - what the hell happened? Miami loses its fourth straight at home, in a game that was never close. Memphis is sneaky-mediocre, but come on. After going out West and playing fantastic basketball, Miami has come home and been absolutely brutal. Now 6-7 at home - that's bad, very, very bad. It's inexplicable. But let's try to, umm, explicate it - that's what we do here. And, big treat at # 6.
2) I don't care how much longer - above the waist - the other team is - and Memphis is a lot longer - when you get out rebounded 49-26, your effort level is pathetic. One game after journeyman big man Eric Dampier embarrassed Miami inside, up-and-coming big man Marc Gasol went for 16 and 15 - in three quarters! He had 7 more rebounds than Jermaine O'Neal, Mike Beasley, and Udonis Haslem combined.
3) Looking for a silver lining? If you are going to get pounded by someone, get pounded by someone from Connecticut, so at least I can enjoy the game. Connecticut's Rudy Gay had a career high 41, with several highlight reel caliber dunks. Stayed in about 6 minutes longer than he should have in order to secure his first 40 point game - that's how we do it in the CT.
4) Heat announcer Eric Reid described a conversation he had with young Memphis point guard Mike Conley before the game. He asked Conley if there were any positives from the three games the irrepressibly selfish Allen Iverson spent this year with Memphis before being cut. Iverson missed most of training camp after signing a contract for the veteran minimum with Memphis when nobody else wanted him, then immediately started complaining when he wasn't anointed a starter upon his return, even though it had been made clear to him that he had been signed as a backup, and had missed training camp. Memphis has gone from bad to decent with Iverson's departure, and Iverson landed with an even worse team, Philadelphia, and has "rallied" them to several more losses. Conley cited one positive of the Iverson experience as "seeing how hard Iverson works to stay in shape to be able to compete at a high level for a long time." Also, when he left...
5) With the blowout, Memphis' third string center, Hamed Haddadi, saw 7 minutes of action. Haddadi is a 7 foot Iranian with all the foot speed and agility of the Pentagon. "Being so big," counseled Tony Fiorentino, "his strengths are low post play, shot-blocking, and _______." You make the joke. I mean, I just watched the Heat get blown out at home by a team with an Iranian center - be as mean, and politically incorrect as you want to.
6) Okay, let's let the loss go, it is just a basketball game after all, and there are things far more important in life, like talking to girls, and this next item. So often, in my travels around this great land, people will come up to me and say, "Hey, how come nobody has written a song about you yet?" And I always have the same response: "I don't know." Well, I am glad to report that this isn't going to be a problem any longer. Check this out below...
It's been a spectacularly unproductive year for Teenage Middle-Age Rage, which is not surprising given the fact that the band broke up in 2008. But then the wizened elder of the band ran into a rabid TMAR fan (in Miami, of all places), who demanded that the band reform. Well, they couldn't let down the fan base, so they reformed, recorded this tribute to the man (link below), and quickly broke up again. But it was glorious while it lasted!
TMAR
"Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Atm6YHiNNHc
Friday, December 11, 2009
Mavericks 106 Heat 93
6 Thoughts
1) Back at home after West Coast trip, pounded by Dallas. Heat drop to 11-10, and a sickly 6-6 at home. You can't go .500 at home and make the playoffs - you just can't. Out-of-state members of the Minutos family in town this weekend, so I'm exhausted. Let's roll through this quick.
2) Huge factor tonight: two missing starters. Jermaine O'Neal, his second straight missed game to deal with a death in the family (his, not mine), and Quentin Richardson, who gave it a go with a strained hamstring, but hung it up after 7 minutes. The Heat's two best defenders. In a related story, Dallas blistered the Heat with over 50% shooting in the first half, 49% for the game, with 30 assists on 39 baskets, and committed only 9 turnovers. Particularly awful - Jermaino's replacement Joel Anthony. In limited minutes Anthony can be effective as an undersized, high-energy shotblocker: he had 4 rejections tonight in 32 minutes. But this only serves to underscore the relative uselessness of the blocked shot in assessing defensive performance. Anthony tends to chase the ball without discretion: his athleticism allows him to block shots, but he often leaves the rim unattended. His cover, Mavs journeyman Eric Dampier, erupted for 20 points and 17 rebounds in the game, all in a two foot circle around the rim. Biggest factor in the Heat's loss.
3)Mavs' J.J. Barea (12 points, 10 assists) clearly outperformed the Heat's Carlos Arroyo (3 points, 1 assist) in the battle of Puerto Rican backup point guards. La Bamba!
4) Halftime segment showed backup Heat forward and three point specialist James Jones handing out turkeys to the underprivileged in his hometown of Miami. I am almost certain that I saw over-gregarious and over-fed Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson in line to receive one of the free turkeys. As the segment ended, back in the studio Jackson encouraged Heat fans to email in questions to himself, Eric Reid, and Tony Firorentino at asktheheatannouncers.com, so that they can answer them on the air. If I write in, I'm asking why he stole the turkey from the poor people. Or, alternately, how Tony Fiorentino has obtained such a nice moustache. Man, do I wish I could grow a nice moustache...
5) Mavericks forward Shawn Marion spent parts of two awkward seasons with the Heat. And by "awkward" I mean, of course, the ungainly, spastic runners he shoots from absolutely unmakeable positions on the court. Was 4 of 10 tonight, and two were layups at the rim, so by my calculations that's 2-8 on the spastic runners. Marion was quite possibly my second least favorite Heat player ever, surpassed only by Gary Grant, who played 28 bone chilling games for Miami in the 1996-97 season, during which he took 110 shots, making 39 of them (35.5%). Grant's specialty was to dribble 19 seconds off the 24 second shot clock, then make a wild, head-down foray in to the lane, run in to traffic, and then shoot the ball over the backboard. I lost at least 2 months off my life watching those 110 shots. Seemed more like 110 thousand. When, after 28 games, you eventually trade a guy for uber-stiff Duane Causwell - and feel like you cheated the other team - you really know you're not enjoying a guy's "performance"...
6) Great question discussed at Dos Headquarters today. With the number of high profile cheaters lately - Tiger, Dave Letterman, Don Draper, etc. - do we ever reach a point in our society where cheating becomes accepted, and, in a sense, "cool?" As we have noted many times in this very space, here in Amerika, we live in the strictest of right-wing police states, with Christian conservative elements attempting to dictate to us "non-whites" whom we can and can not marry, what we can and can not do to our own bodies, and, most importantly, where we may and may not park. In other, freer parts of the world, people actually can just park where it makes sense, and where you aren't bothering anyone. No, really, it's true! Perhaps this someday becomes the norm with our personal relationships as well, and even celebrities could have the occasional dalliance without the right-wing, conservative media like Fox News, The Enquirer and TMZ jumping all down their throats. As The Captain dreamily enthused today: "Let's hope so..."
1) Back at home after West Coast trip, pounded by Dallas. Heat drop to 11-10, and a sickly 6-6 at home. You can't go .500 at home and make the playoffs - you just can't. Out-of-state members of the Minutos family in town this weekend, so I'm exhausted. Let's roll through this quick.
2) Huge factor tonight: two missing starters. Jermaine O'Neal, his second straight missed game to deal with a death in the family (his, not mine), and Quentin Richardson, who gave it a go with a strained hamstring, but hung it up after 7 minutes. The Heat's two best defenders. In a related story, Dallas blistered the Heat with over 50% shooting in the first half, 49% for the game, with 30 assists on 39 baskets, and committed only 9 turnovers. Particularly awful - Jermaino's replacement Joel Anthony. In limited minutes Anthony can be effective as an undersized, high-energy shotblocker: he had 4 rejections tonight in 32 minutes. But this only serves to underscore the relative uselessness of the blocked shot in assessing defensive performance. Anthony tends to chase the ball without discretion: his athleticism allows him to block shots, but he often leaves the rim unattended. His cover, Mavs journeyman Eric Dampier, erupted for 20 points and 17 rebounds in the game, all in a two foot circle around the rim. Biggest factor in the Heat's loss.
3)Mavs' J.J. Barea (12 points, 10 assists) clearly outperformed the Heat's Carlos Arroyo (3 points, 1 assist) in the battle of Puerto Rican backup point guards. La Bamba!
4) Halftime segment showed backup Heat forward and three point specialist James Jones handing out turkeys to the underprivileged in his hometown of Miami. I am almost certain that I saw over-gregarious and over-fed Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson in line to receive one of the free turkeys. As the segment ended, back in the studio Jackson encouraged Heat fans to email in questions to himself, Eric Reid, and Tony Firorentino at asktheheatannouncers.com, so that they can answer them on the air. If I write in, I'm asking why he stole the turkey from the poor people. Or, alternately, how Tony Fiorentino has obtained such a nice moustache. Man, do I wish I could grow a nice moustache...
5) Mavericks forward Shawn Marion spent parts of two awkward seasons with the Heat. And by "awkward" I mean, of course, the ungainly, spastic runners he shoots from absolutely unmakeable positions on the court. Was 4 of 10 tonight, and two were layups at the rim, so by my calculations that's 2-8 on the spastic runners. Marion was quite possibly my second least favorite Heat player ever, surpassed only by Gary Grant, who played 28 bone chilling games for Miami in the 1996-97 season, during which he took 110 shots, making 39 of them (35.5%). Grant's specialty was to dribble 19 seconds off the 24 second shot clock, then make a wild, head-down foray in to the lane, run in to traffic, and then shoot the ball over the backboard. I lost at least 2 months off my life watching those 110 shots. Seemed more like 110 thousand. When, after 28 games, you eventually trade a guy for uber-stiff Duane Causwell - and feel like you cheated the other team - you really know you're not enjoying a guy's "performance"...
6) Great question discussed at Dos Headquarters today. With the number of high profile cheaters lately - Tiger, Dave Letterman, Don Draper, etc. - do we ever reach a point in our society where cheating becomes accepted, and, in a sense, "cool?" As we have noted many times in this very space, here in Amerika, we live in the strictest of right-wing police states, with Christian conservative elements attempting to dictate to us "non-whites" whom we can and can not marry, what we can and can not do to our own bodies, and, most importantly, where we may and may not park. In other, freer parts of the world, people actually can just park where it makes sense, and where you aren't bothering anyone. No, really, it's true! Perhaps this someday becomes the norm with our personal relationships as well, and even celebrities could have the occasional dalliance without the right-wing, conservative media like Fox News, The Enquirer and TMZ jumping all down their throats. As The Captain dreamily enthused today: "Let's hope so..."
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Heat 115 Kings 102
6 Thoughts
1) Heat finish a 4 game West Coast swing with a 2-2 record after a win against a surprisingly frisky Sacramento team (8-2 at home before tonight). A horrifically blown call and Kobe Bryant 30 foot bank shot away from going 3-1. That hurts. Heat come back home 11-9, solidly in the thick of the playoff race, one quarter of the way through the season.
2) Dorell Wright has been on the Heat for six seasons. In that time, you could count the number of good games he has played in a big spot on - - well, you couldn't count them at all. He had never done it before. However, on this trip, in one of the more bizarre developments of this, or any other, Heat season, Dorell Wright has actually become the backup point guard. At 6'8". And he's playing well. Tonight was his best game in a Heat uniform: 19 points on 9-13 shooting, 5 assists, and no turnovers. Handled the ball with Chalmers out of the game. Got in to the lane, found open people. Ran back cuts to the rim off the ball, received passes from Dwyane Wade, crushed dunks. I couldn't have been more surprised if you told me Eric Reid enjoyed his road trip to Sacramento (he didn't - amongst other problems, his hotel room apparently was right next to the road, and he was awakened by a passing marathon. Not pleased - and he's a runner. He has an absolute passion for hating Sacramento.). Can DWright keep this up? Seems unlikely. He would really struggle against ball pressure. But Carlos Arroyo has been de-rotationed for the moment, and Dorell is going to get his shot...
3) It is a well-known fact on the Heat team that Wright, Wade, and President Quentin Richardson are a team clique that calls themselves the 1-3-5 Crew (their uniform numbers). They work out together in the offseason, and have a level of comfort with each other. Besides Wright's breakout night, QRich also was very good: 20, with 5 triples. Is playing at an extremely efficient level right now.
4) After shooting woes all season, DWade seemed to make a concerted effort to get to the rim tonight, and shot 10 free throws in the first quarter. M.Minutos predicted 20 for the game, but Wade finished at 16. First true "Flash" game in a while. 34 points on only 16 shots (10-16), with 10 assists, 5 rebounds, and 4 (!) blocks.
5) Omri Casspi, the first Israeli player in the NBA, had 14 points and made 4-4 three pointers, including a running 30 footer to end the third quarter. As a fiercely loyal half-Jew, I say that "it's about time," and "Mazel Tov." Biggest development for Jews in basketball since players started using agents...I have always felt that in the late 60's when the former Lew Alcindor went Muslim and became Kareem Abdul-Jabber, that was our shot. If we Jews grab Alcindor there, who knows how the course of basketball history is changed? Instead, we lose out to Elijah Muhammad, and spend the better part of forty years in the basketball wilderness, like in the Bible when we were cast out of, I don't know - Egypt? - and spent a long time in the desert, apparently. Not that strong on my Jewish history. In any case, the point is: Casspi's bringing it back.
6) "Tiger...It's me, Jon. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. Remember I met you at The Viper Room last weekend, when I walked in on you with the girl doing that thing? And then you said to me "get the f--- out, Loser," but then you got drunker, and we ended up hanging out? Well, I think I left one of my Ed Hardy t-shirts in the back of your limo. Do you think you could get that back to me? I don't want Kate to know I was hanging out with you - I'm still trying to negotiate a better residual rate on future episodes of my show. It's huge. Okay, bye."
1) Heat finish a 4 game West Coast swing with a 2-2 record after a win against a surprisingly frisky Sacramento team (8-2 at home before tonight). A horrifically blown call and Kobe Bryant 30 foot bank shot away from going 3-1. That hurts. Heat come back home 11-9, solidly in the thick of the playoff race, one quarter of the way through the season.
2) Dorell Wright has been on the Heat for six seasons. In that time, you could count the number of good games he has played in a big spot on - - well, you couldn't count them at all. He had never done it before. However, on this trip, in one of the more bizarre developments of this, or any other, Heat season, Dorell Wright has actually become the backup point guard. At 6'8". And he's playing well. Tonight was his best game in a Heat uniform: 19 points on 9-13 shooting, 5 assists, and no turnovers. Handled the ball with Chalmers out of the game. Got in to the lane, found open people. Ran back cuts to the rim off the ball, received passes from Dwyane Wade, crushed dunks. I couldn't have been more surprised if you told me Eric Reid enjoyed his road trip to Sacramento (he didn't - amongst other problems, his hotel room apparently was right next to the road, and he was awakened by a passing marathon. Not pleased - and he's a runner. He has an absolute passion for hating Sacramento.). Can DWright keep this up? Seems unlikely. He would really struggle against ball pressure. But Carlos Arroyo has been de-rotationed for the moment, and Dorell is going to get his shot...
3) It is a well-known fact on the Heat team that Wright, Wade, and President Quentin Richardson are a team clique that calls themselves the 1-3-5 Crew (their uniform numbers). They work out together in the offseason, and have a level of comfort with each other. Besides Wright's breakout night, QRich also was very good: 20, with 5 triples. Is playing at an extremely efficient level right now.
4) After shooting woes all season, DWade seemed to make a concerted effort to get to the rim tonight, and shot 10 free throws in the first quarter. M.Minutos predicted 20 for the game, but Wade finished at 16. First true "Flash" game in a while. 34 points on only 16 shots (10-16), with 10 assists, 5 rebounds, and 4 (!) blocks.
5) Omri Casspi, the first Israeli player in the NBA, had 14 points and made 4-4 three pointers, including a running 30 footer to end the third quarter. As a fiercely loyal half-Jew, I say that "it's about time," and "Mazel Tov." Biggest development for Jews in basketball since players started using agents...I have always felt that in the late 60's when the former Lew Alcindor went Muslim and became Kareem Abdul-Jabber, that was our shot. If we Jews grab Alcindor there, who knows how the course of basketball history is changed? Instead, we lose out to Elijah Muhammad, and spend the better part of forty years in the basketball wilderness, like in the Bible when we were cast out of, I don't know - Egypt? - and spent a long time in the desert, apparently. Not that strong on my Jewish history. In any case, the point is: Casspi's bringing it back.
6) "Tiger...It's me, Jon. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. Remember I met you at The Viper Room last weekend, when I walked in on you with the girl doing that thing? And then you said to me "get the f--- out, Loser," but then you got drunker, and we ended up hanging out? Well, I think I left one of my Ed Hardy t-shirts in the back of your limo. Do you think you could get that back to me? I don't want Kate to know I was hanging out with you - I'm still trying to negotiate a better residual rate on future episodes of my show. It's huge. Okay, bye."
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lakers 108 Heat 107
6 Thoughts
1) "Things You Can't Control in an NBA Game:" When a team is down 2 with three seconds to go, inbounds the ball to a guy 25 feet from the basket with two guys draped all over him, so he backs up three quick steps to clear himself for a heave, without dribbling, you should probably call traveling, because if it goes in, you are costing one team the game. Tonight, Kobe Bryant's heave went in in L.A. - with no traveling call - and the Heat lose a brutal one. By the way, the NBA has replay now - they replayed Bryant's shot to make sure he got it off in time - why wouldn't you be able to call traveling from that? I have never understood why, if you are going to use replay in any sport, there are only certain calls it can be used for. Guaranteed the referees watching the replay tonight felt sick knowing they hadn't called the travel - probably just let it go assuming the shot wouldn't go in - not that that does Miami any good.
2) In the category of "Things You Can Control in an NBA Game:" Miami's free throw shooting was pitiful. 27-42. That mess is unseemly. You can't miss 15 free throws on the road against the best team in basketball and expect to win. Dwyane Wade missed one of two just before the Bryant heave. He was particularly brutal at 12-18, and Jermaine O'Neal, who has been consistently bad from the stripe all year, was 4-9 - he's under 65% for the season.
3) That Miami was even in the game was a testimony to their collective grit. Wade played his second straight awful game, shooting 7-21 from the floor, and the aforementioned 12-18 from the line. Picked it up down the stretch and made a couple of hoops, and a couple of clutch passes, but for three and a half quarters he was really bad. Let's be honest - he's not having a good year thus far. Showed up in less-than-great shape, and is at a career low 42% from the floor right now. Not making the jumper with enough regularity, shooting a lot of odd, in-between runners. Not making the electric game changing defensive plays he made last year. Look, he was a man possessed last year, and was the best player in basketball. He can't kill himself like that all game, every season - the human body needs to rest - and he needs help. The frustrating thing tonight was that he got plenty of help, but didn't play well himself. Miami now 10-9, wrap up the road trip Sunday in Sacramento, much to Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino's chagrin.
4) Lamar Odom was ejected midway through the fourth quarter. He had received a technical foul earlier in the game for arguing a call, then intentionally didn't get out of Jermaine O'Neal's way trying to land after a dunk, resulting in a second t, and the automatic ejection. Lamar, who got married to the chunky Kardashian in the offseason - and by the way, I only know that because he plays in the NBA, I don't even know who the Kardashians are - was escorted from the court. Camera panned to the chunky Kardashian in the crowd - by the way, not an attractive girl - who also immediately got up and left. Unclear if she was going to the locker room to see Lamar, or to dinner. "If a player gets ejected, does his wife have to leave too?" crowed Tony Fiorentino, happily.
5) Since getting Pau Gasol in a one-sided trade with Memphis, the Lakers are now 100-22. That's ridiculous. He had 22 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists tonight. He is a top ten player in the league. Also, resembles my friend Eric Webster.
6) "Hey, Kobe. It's Tiger. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. I'm going out to Colorado for a ski trip later this month and I need the number of the girl you sexually assaulted in the unmentionable area, although you later paid her off and the case never went to trial. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Okay, bye."
-------
1) "Things You Can't Control in an NBA Game:" When a team is down 2 with three seconds to go, inbounds the ball to a guy 25 feet from the basket with two guys draped all over him, so he backs up three quick steps to clear himself for a heave, without dribbling, you should probably call traveling, because if it goes in, you are costing one team the game. Tonight, Kobe Bryant's heave went in in L.A. - with no traveling call - and the Heat lose a brutal one. By the way, the NBA has replay now - they replayed Bryant's shot to make sure he got it off in time - why wouldn't you be able to call traveling from that? I have never understood why, if you are going to use replay in any sport, there are only certain calls it can be used for. Guaranteed the referees watching the replay tonight felt sick knowing they hadn't called the travel - probably just let it go assuming the shot wouldn't go in - not that that does Miami any good.
2) In the category of "Things You Can Control in an NBA Game:" Miami's free throw shooting was pitiful. 27-42. That mess is unseemly. You can't miss 15 free throws on the road against the best team in basketball and expect to win. Dwyane Wade missed one of two just before the Bryant heave. He was particularly brutal at 12-18, and Jermaine O'Neal, who has been consistently bad from the stripe all year, was 4-9 - he's under 65% for the season.
3) That Miami was even in the game was a testimony to their collective grit. Wade played his second straight awful game, shooting 7-21 from the floor, and the aforementioned 12-18 from the line. Picked it up down the stretch and made a couple of hoops, and a couple of clutch passes, but for three and a half quarters he was really bad. Let's be honest - he's not having a good year thus far. Showed up in less-than-great shape, and is at a career low 42% from the floor right now. Not making the jumper with enough regularity, shooting a lot of odd, in-between runners. Not making the electric game changing defensive plays he made last year. Look, he was a man possessed last year, and was the best player in basketball. He can't kill himself like that all game, every season - the human body needs to rest - and he needs help. The frustrating thing tonight was that he got plenty of help, but didn't play well himself. Miami now 10-9, wrap up the road trip Sunday in Sacramento, much to Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino's chagrin.
4) Lamar Odom was ejected midway through the fourth quarter. He had received a technical foul earlier in the game for arguing a call, then intentionally didn't get out of Jermaine O'Neal's way trying to land after a dunk, resulting in a second t, and the automatic ejection. Lamar, who got married to the chunky Kardashian in the offseason - and by the way, I only know that because he plays in the NBA, I don't even know who the Kardashians are - was escorted from the court. Camera panned to the chunky Kardashian in the crowd - by the way, not an attractive girl - who also immediately got up and left. Unclear if she was going to the locker room to see Lamar, or to dinner. "If a player gets ejected, does his wife have to leave too?" crowed Tony Fiorentino, happily.
5) Since getting Pau Gasol in a one-sided trade with Memphis, the Lakers are now 100-22. That's ridiculous. He had 22 points, 8 rebounds, and 4 assists tonight. He is a top ten player in the league. Also, resembles my friend Eric Webster.
6) "Hey, Kobe. It's Tiger. I need you to do me a favor. It's huge. I'm going out to Colorado for a ski trip later this month and I need the number of the girl you sexually assaulted in the unmentionable area, although you later paid her off and the case never went to trial. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Okay, bye."
-------
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Nuggets 114 Heat 96
6 Thoughts
1) Thrashed in Denver, second game of a four game West Coast swing. Some nights you come out and get smoked. Some nights you come out and let yourself get smoked - this was one of those nights. It's late, let's wrap it up.
2) One thing about Dwyane Wade - when he doesn't feel like playing, he lets everyone know he doesn't feel like playing. He had the intensity level ratcheted up to a 2 at tip off, dialed it down to about a .5 when Mario Chalmers picked up two instant fouls and Spo moved Wade to the point instead of inserting Carlos Arroyo. Playing point makes it tougher for Wade to get to the basket, and requires extra energy. He didn't feel like doing it tonight, that was clear. Walked around on offense, was sloppy with the dribble, played defense with his hands on his knees, and somehow, three or four different times, ended up with his back to his man defensively while he was driving to the basket and laying the ball in. A late, selfish third quarter flurry allowed him to finish with 25 points, but they were already down 25 by that point - he was just padding numbers. Denver is the only NBA city in which Wade has never won - now 0-6.
3) Exactly one guy came to play tonight for Miami: Mike Beasley. Wasn't efficient, didn't shoot particularly well, but still had 17 and 7 in 32 minutes. The offense - what offense there was - revolved around him in the first half. One particularly effective second quarter stretch saw Miami clear out for Beasley 4 straight trips: drive to the basket for a hoop; jab step to fake the same drive, hit the jumper; drive again, drew a foul on the floor; drove again, drew foul at the rim, made two free throws. Again, I hate to say it, but it looks like the game is starting to slow down a little for Mike.
4) Bad NBA refereeing example # 2652: Late in the third quarter, with Miami down 25 and Wade looking to pad his numbers, he rose up for a long three. Denver's J.R. Smith contested the jumper and swiped Wade across the arm, causing the shot to fall approximately 8 feet short. Even if you didn't see the shot - and, really, as a referee what else would you be watching - the result alone definitively indicated a foul. No call. Wade, aggravated to begin with, began to charge at the nearest official, only to be beaten to him by Coach Spo, who lit up referee Monty McCutcheon. Spo was protecting Wade - McCutcheon gave Spo a technical. Fine. During the free throw, Wade continued to glare and mutter at McCutcheon, who by this time, had to have realized that he had missed a call. Embarrassed as much as anything, he then gave Wade a ridiculous technical from 30 feet away. Fine. On the ensuing Denver possession, Kenyon Martin drove to the basket where Wade met him, intending to take Martin's head off to relieve a little of his frustration with a two-armed whack across the shoulder and neck. McCutcheon was standing approximately two feet away - made no call, obviously in deference to missing the call on Wade's jumper. Martin, even though the game had been decided for an hour or more, went ballistic, drawing an immediate technical, and when he continued to beef - and, really, the non-call was so egregious it was ridiculous - McCutcheon ejected him. It just seems to me, when you make a bad call, and then realize it - just apologize to the offended party. Don't give him an equal break the next trip - then you're just ticking someone else off. And don't start throwing people out of games. You're better than that, Monty McCutcheon. And your name is Monty...
5) Who wins a no-holds barred fight between Kenyon Martin and Udonis Haslem?
6) "Hey. It’s Tiger. You have to do me a favor. It’s huge. I’m starving and my wife won’t make me sandwiches anymore. I’m going to come over and I need you to make me a sandwich so I can eat it while I am there. I’ll only have like 15 or 20 minutes to eat it, then I have to get back here before she suspects anything. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Also, I’d like some anal sex. Okay, bye.”
1) Thrashed in Denver, second game of a four game West Coast swing. Some nights you come out and get smoked. Some nights you come out and let yourself get smoked - this was one of those nights. It's late, let's wrap it up.
2) One thing about Dwyane Wade - when he doesn't feel like playing, he lets everyone know he doesn't feel like playing. He had the intensity level ratcheted up to a 2 at tip off, dialed it down to about a .5 when Mario Chalmers picked up two instant fouls and Spo moved Wade to the point instead of inserting Carlos Arroyo. Playing point makes it tougher for Wade to get to the basket, and requires extra energy. He didn't feel like doing it tonight, that was clear. Walked around on offense, was sloppy with the dribble, played defense with his hands on his knees, and somehow, three or four different times, ended up with his back to his man defensively while he was driving to the basket and laying the ball in. A late, selfish third quarter flurry allowed him to finish with 25 points, but they were already down 25 by that point - he was just padding numbers. Denver is the only NBA city in which Wade has never won - now 0-6.
3) Exactly one guy came to play tonight for Miami: Mike Beasley. Wasn't efficient, didn't shoot particularly well, but still had 17 and 7 in 32 minutes. The offense - what offense there was - revolved around him in the first half. One particularly effective second quarter stretch saw Miami clear out for Beasley 4 straight trips: drive to the basket for a hoop; jab step to fake the same drive, hit the jumper; drive again, drew a foul on the floor; drove again, drew foul at the rim, made two free throws. Again, I hate to say it, but it looks like the game is starting to slow down a little for Mike.
4) Bad NBA refereeing example # 2652: Late in the third quarter, with Miami down 25 and Wade looking to pad his numbers, he rose up for a long three. Denver's J.R. Smith contested the jumper and swiped Wade across the arm, causing the shot to fall approximately 8 feet short. Even if you didn't see the shot - and, really, as a referee what else would you be watching - the result alone definitively indicated a foul. No call. Wade, aggravated to begin with, began to charge at the nearest official, only to be beaten to him by Coach Spo, who lit up referee Monty McCutcheon. Spo was protecting Wade - McCutcheon gave Spo a technical. Fine. During the free throw, Wade continued to glare and mutter at McCutcheon, who by this time, had to have realized that he had missed a call. Embarrassed as much as anything, he then gave Wade a ridiculous technical from 30 feet away. Fine. On the ensuing Denver possession, Kenyon Martin drove to the basket where Wade met him, intending to take Martin's head off to relieve a little of his frustration with a two-armed whack across the shoulder and neck. McCutcheon was standing approximately two feet away - made no call, obviously in deference to missing the call on Wade's jumper. Martin, even though the game had been decided for an hour or more, went ballistic, drawing an immediate technical, and when he continued to beef - and, really, the non-call was so egregious it was ridiculous - McCutcheon ejected him. It just seems to me, when you make a bad call, and then realize it - just apologize to the offended party. Don't give him an equal break the next trip - then you're just ticking someone else off. And don't start throwing people out of games. You're better than that, Monty McCutcheon. And your name is Monty...
5) Who wins a no-holds barred fight between Kenyon Martin and Udonis Haslem?
6) "Hey. It’s Tiger. You have to do me a favor. It’s huge. I’m starving and my wife won’t make me sandwiches anymore. I’m going to come over and I need you to make me a sandwich so I can eat it while I am there. I’ll only have like 15 or 20 minutes to eat it, then I have to get back here before she suspects anything. Please, do it quickly. This is huge. Also, I’d like some anal sex. Okay, bye.”
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Heat 107 Blazers 100
6 Thoughts
1) Mike Beasley. That's how we do. THAT'S HOW WE DO!!! It wasn't just 27 and 8. It was a scoring clinic. Cutting to open spaces in and around the lane, receiving balls, making short jumpers over the big guy help. Clearing out sides against slower defenders, waiting for room, driving, drawing fouls. Accepting double teams when they couldn't guard him with one guy, throwing ambidextrous passes over the defense to weak side shooters. Driving at Greg Oden, taking the bump, flipping the ball in with his right hand. I'm not saying he has it figured out - but his last five games he's at 18 and 9 in 34 minutes a night. Decision making. The best player on the floor tonight, on the West Coast, against a deep, good team. Decision making.
2) Hey, Portland star Brandon Roy, you sneering, sanctimonious, underathletic, overdribbling, pseudo-superstar? How'd it feel to have your crap handed to you by The President? P.Q., back in the lineup tonight with the back feeling better, harassed Roy into a 9-25 shooting night. Q with 20 of his own, on 4 triples, and three "big kid style, stop me if you can" postup hoops.
3) Big win. Start of a brutal 4 game West Coast trip. Back-to-backer Thursday and Friday against Denver and L.A. 10-7 on the year - not coming home under .500.
4) Looming Sunday - the annual trip to Sacramento. There is one thing that Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino hate: road trips to Sacramento. Last season, Reid openly wished for a plane crash on the trip to that game. Didn't mention it by name tonight, but spent approximately 14 minutes extolling the virtues of Portland: "A jewel of the Northwest. Plenty to do - and a great place to do it in!" I wish someone would trade Brandon Roy to Sacramento.
5) Juwan Howard sighting. JUWAN HOWARD SIGHTING! Still in the NBA! Still alive! Unstoppable with 12 first half points, when forced into action by foul trouble. Less good in the second half when Mike Beasley lit him up like a Moorish Menorah. Good to see him, though.
6) Album review: XX by The XX. Sounds like: if your kid brother and sister, who are teenagers, love The Cure and Elliot Smith, and are virgins, learned how to play a bass guitar, kind of, and use a drum machine, sort of, and then made an album. Delicious. On a scale of 1 to 10: 10.
Next game: Thursday in Denver. Late again. Don't look now, but the Dos streak is at 17 games. Last year: career high 79 of 82 games - God bless Tivo. West Coast trips are tough - let's see how we do.
-----------
1) Mike Beasley. That's how we do. THAT'S HOW WE DO!!! It wasn't just 27 and 8. It was a scoring clinic. Cutting to open spaces in and around the lane, receiving balls, making short jumpers over the big guy help. Clearing out sides against slower defenders, waiting for room, driving, drawing fouls. Accepting double teams when they couldn't guard him with one guy, throwing ambidextrous passes over the defense to weak side shooters. Driving at Greg Oden, taking the bump, flipping the ball in with his right hand. I'm not saying he has it figured out - but his last five games he's at 18 and 9 in 34 minutes a night. Decision making. The best player on the floor tonight, on the West Coast, against a deep, good team. Decision making.
2) Hey, Portland star Brandon Roy, you sneering, sanctimonious, underathletic, overdribbling, pseudo-superstar? How'd it feel to have your crap handed to you by The President? P.Q., back in the lineup tonight with the back feeling better, harassed Roy into a 9-25 shooting night. Q with 20 of his own, on 4 triples, and three "big kid style, stop me if you can" postup hoops.
3) Big win. Start of a brutal 4 game West Coast trip. Back-to-backer Thursday and Friday against Denver and L.A. 10-7 on the year - not coming home under .500.
4) Looming Sunday - the annual trip to Sacramento. There is one thing that Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino hate: road trips to Sacramento. Last season, Reid openly wished for a plane crash on the trip to that game. Didn't mention it by name tonight, but spent approximately 14 minutes extolling the virtues of Portland: "A jewel of the Northwest. Plenty to do - and a great place to do it in!" I wish someone would trade Brandon Roy to Sacramento.
5) Juwan Howard sighting. JUWAN HOWARD SIGHTING! Still in the NBA! Still alive! Unstoppable with 12 first half points, when forced into action by foul trouble. Less good in the second half when Mike Beasley lit him up like a Moorish Menorah. Good to see him, though.
6) Album review: XX by The XX. Sounds like: if your kid brother and sister, who are teenagers, love The Cure and Elliot Smith, and are virgins, learned how to play a bass guitar, kind of, and use a drum machine, sort of, and then made an album. Delicious. On a scale of 1 to 10: 10.
Next game: Thursday in Denver. Late again. Don't look now, but the Dos streak is at 17 games. Last year: career high 79 of 82 games - God bless Tivo. West Coast trips are tough - let's see how we do.
-----------
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)