Heat 113 Bucks 106 ot

6 Thoughts

1) The Heat blew out of the gate to an early 18 point lead, then sleepwalked through two and a half quarters and found themselves down 7 with 5 minutes to go, whereupon KJ James proceeded to make about 15 plays in a row down the stretch so the Heat could win.  The end.  Let's roll through this and then hit our holiday break.  Let it fly...

2) For some reason, Miami struggles against Milwaukee more than any other team.  It's hard to tell what it is - before late last season, you would have guessed that the Heat were just bored to death against the Bucks, but the Bucks acquired Monta Ellis to pair with Brandon Jennings in the backcourt, and they push the ball up the court pretty hard now, which should play right into the Heat's hands (and did early).  But the Heat, just like last season, ground to a halt in the middle of the game, and the Bucks caught them.  With the Heat down 7 and 5 minutes to go, and this looking like a disappointing loss, KJ: made a triple from the top; drove and made a layup; drove and found a sharply cutting Dwyane Wade (28 points in his first game back) for a layup; drove-and-spat to Walter Ray Allen (3-5 on threes) in the corner for a triple to put the Heat up 3, all the while guarding Bucks' point guard Jennings on the defensive end, stifling their offense at the point of attack.  After the Bucks slipped back ahead, KJ's offensive rebound and putback (while, as always, getting shoved with no foul - he gets less respect than any player in the league, refs expect him to finish through contact) tied the game and sent it to overtime.  In the overtime, he and Wade combined for a few quick buckets, then salted the game away up 6, when KJ screened for a cutting Wade off the ball on a backdoor, Bosh threw an alley oop to Wade which crashed off the backboard back into the lane, where it was rebounded by an alert KJ, who immediately rifled a pass to the far corner to a camped out Ray Allen.  Money ball, plus 9, ballgame!  That guy is pretty good!  Oh yeah, here's LeBron's cousin, "WhiteBron:"

 

3) Let's check in on the dual three point jinxes we have going on.  First is the "Reverse Visiting Team Three Point Jinx" (we need a better name), the phenomenon where absolute stiffs from other teams start raining threes on our heads like Hurricane Sandy.  Annnnd, tonight that was in full-effect, I think we actually reached some kind of nadir when Bucks center, Samuel Dalembert (an Eric Reid favorite -  Grizzlies announcer Pete Pranica thinks Dalembert is overrated, by the way), who has played over 700 NBA games and never made a three pointer, as in never, not even one, dropped in a bomb from the top of the circle to end the first half and cut what was once an 18 point Heat lead to 2.  Why wouldn't he do that?   That was exciting.  I like to call the other jinx "The Reverse Bosh."  I predicted Bosh would make more than 50 triples this season, but thus far, through 11 games, he'd made 1.  AND TONIGHT HE MADE ANOTHER ONE - THAT'S TWO, HERE WE GO, BABY!  LET IT FLY!!!  Bosh was great tonight. 24 points on 9-14 from the floor, with 18 rebounds.  He only scored every time he touched the ball.  You know what Bosh does for a living these days?  Takes dudes apart...

4) With his second rebound of the game tonight, Udonis Haslem passed Alonzo Mourning to become Miami's all-time leading rebounder.  Love  UD - he's my all-time favorite basketball player.  He gave an embarrassed little wave to the crowd's standing ovation, which is indicative of what I love about him: he doesn't care much about the attention, he's all about the business.  Since Dwyane Wade is my second favorite player of all-time, and Walter Ray Allen is my third (he never plays for Boston, he's likely #1), this season is like a dream come true.  Except for the part where Udonis Haslem can't catch a basketball anymore.  Damn, UD...I understand your legs are gone, so you can't make a jumper or finish at the rim anymore -  1-5 from the floor tonight, which is all too typical.  I can accept that, it's frustrating, and a little embarrassing, but okay, I understand.  But why can't you catch the ball?  You keep screening and rolling to the rim, and because Dwyane and KJ are so unselfish, and always make the correct pass, they always hit you when you are open, but the ball hits your elbows, or off your eyeballs, or caroms off your hamstring - anywhere but secured in the hands...It's really tough to watch.  A couple of offseasons ago, when UD was a free agent, I said I'd rather lose every game with him on the team, than win every game without him.  And I still feel that way.  But it doesn't mean he has to actually, like, be in the games - he could just watch from the bench and high five dudes during timeouts, I'd be totally cool with that.  Dag, mannn...

5) Okay, okay, OKAY: Hot Seconds With Jax is BACK!!!  (Sidenote: Why is the halftime segment where Jax interviews members of the Heat media, who are all a little boring except Joey Goodman from the Herald, also called Hot Seconds with Jax?  That's ridiculous - that isn't Hot Seconds with Jax, that's just ripped-off Around the Horn from ESPN.  Why do two totally different segments have the same name?  Jax - why?  Pete Pranica would never allow this.).  This is the halftime game show where Jax asks players trivia questions, and then we tally up the scores and see who the smartest dude on the team is.  Usually that is Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, obviously, but last year it was KJ James.  As I've pointed out many, many times in this blog, I am stunned when KJ knows anything - he seems like a basketball machine to me, and wouldn't concern himself with anything else.  I was stunned when he rode his bicycle to the arena one game last year.  Not only was I surprised he knew how to get from his house to The Trip, I was impressed that he knew how to ride a bike...But he blew everyone away last year in Hot Seconds, and M.Minutos has predicted him to repeat his title.  I'm going with Walter Ray Allen.  When playing for the University of Connecticut, he once claimed that every day he wrote down ten questions he didn't know the answer to, and tried to learn the answer by the end of the day (and that's pre-internet!).  That's a lot of knowledge right there.  He also holds the current record for a Heat player for the number of times correctly using the word "bevy" in an interview: once, opening night, when he said he had a "bevy of emotions" going against his old teammates on the Celtics (and by "bevy of emotions," he meant he "couldn't be happier to be away from Rondo and Garnett because those were the worst five years of my life").  Annnd, Ray was up first tonight, and he did well, posting a 9 out of 10.  He knew the college that recruited him in the movie he starred in, "He Got Game," (Big State), and he knew the University of Connecticut's all-time leading scorer (Chris Smith - Ray left after 3 years, otherwise it would be him), but he could only name four out of the top five three point shooters in NBA history (got himself, Reggie Miller, Jason Kidd, and Chauncey Billups, didn't get Jason Terry).  That's a 9 out of 10 - we'll see if it stands up.  By the way, odd stylistic choice in which Jax seemed to overdub his audio on a cell phone, but somehow it just made the game seem more exciting.  So, so, sooo good!

6) Let's talk about an important misconception some people may have, and especially some people who work at Dos Minutos International Headquarters: cats can not get cancer. We had a heated debate about this a couple of weeks ago, and it's ridiculous - obviously a cat can't get cancer. I recognize that a veterinarian will tell you a cat can get cancer, I'm not denying that, but that's not legit, that's a business move from the vet, he's just trying to rake you for cash. What are you, some kind of blue-state pie-in-the-sky liberal who wants to treat a 15 pound rodent for imaginary cancer? Do you believe everything that the New York Times says? Rubes…Anyways, The Captain was like, "of course a cat can get cancer - any mammal can get cancer." First of all, that's a great point. All these decades, all these billions and billions of dollars we have spent trying to determine the cause of cancer, and all along The Captain knew the cause: being a mammal. Wish he would have just let us know that, would have saved us a ton of time and money and, you know, death. "I was raising my hand in class that day, but they didn't call on me," he explained. 

Second of all, a cat isn't a real mammal, it is too small, they are mostly bones and sinew. A dog, yes, certain dogs can get cancer, because dogs are far more substantial than cats, especially bigger dogs, like labradors or a collie. A smaller dog like a Chihuahua can't get cancer - very similar to a cat. The Captain wanted to know if a hippo could get cancer, but of course they can't, they aren't domestic.  Uh, duhhh.... 

You know who would never treat a cat for cancer? Milt Romney. Oh, "Mitt," whatever. He's no dope, at the first sign of trouble from the cat he'd leave it on the side of the highway, like anyone should…The end. 

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Thanksgiving tomorrow.  I've been accused of being the kind of person who doesn't really care whether other people have a Happy Thanksgiving or not, so I won't even go through the charade of wishing you one.  Just know that the accusation would hurt my feelings, though, if I actually had any.  We're back at this Saturday, against Dan Gilbert's Cleveland Cavaliers.  I definitely don't wish him a Happy Thanksgiving!  If you need me before then, I'll be cleaning up the kitchen while listening to Dre Day!  See you Saturday, Gangstas!

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Heat 97 Suns 88

6 Thoughts

1) The longest road trip of the season concluded with a solid win over a pretty bad, but lovable, Phoenix team.  The road trip ends up 4-2 - you'll always take that for a West Coast trip.  Heat play-by-play announcer Eric Reid pointed out that sometimes it's not the physical fatigue that gets to players on a long road trip, but the mental fatigue.  That's a great point.  Actually, you know who has talked about that for years?  Memphis Grizzlies play-play guy Pete Pranica!  He's put a lot of time and effort into studying the effects of travel-induced mental fatigue on player performance, he's got statistics and data and solid evidence of cause and effect, not just some vague-ish anecdotal notion that players get tired when they travel.  That guy is a real pro, so dedicated to his craft...Let's change things up a little tonight and quickly talk about the Heat in #2, but talk about Phoenix in #3-5, since they are a pretty interesting group.  In #6 we'll finally get to that long overdue review of the Spin Doctor's single "Jimmy Olson's Blues."  It came in 1991 so, really, it's about time.  Let it fly!

2) KJ James almost didn't play because he was sick.  He looked a little under the weather last game against Denver, frankly, and tonight he looked even worse.  He was a little slow, a little out of it, and he had to go to the locker room halfway through the first quarter with what may or may not have been diarrhea.  M.Minutos pointed out that he wasn't hurrying to the locker room, but in a situation like that, if you hurry, then everyone knows why you are leaving.  You have to play it cool.  In any case, he played at a little slower pace than usual, but still made all the big plays down the stretch - finding Chalmers and Bosh with great passes for buckets, and then sealing the win with a spinning layup over Suns center Marcin Gortat to finish with 21 points.  He's scored at least 20 in every game this season.  That dude is a competitor and watching him night in and night out, you can see how much he loves playing basketball, it's like he's always at it, always respecting the game, always trying to play that one perfect game no matter what the circumstances.  It's on a night like tonight that you realize how much this dude loves to ball - it's a meaningless game at the end of a long trip, he's sick, Dwyane is taking the night off, and he has every right not to go hard.  But he always does.  And I always expect him to play, I always expect him to play well, and he cares as much as anyone in this league (and with his talent, he doesn't have to).  As much as I love Dwyane in a way I will never love KJ, I couldn't possibly respect KJ as a player, as a competitor, and, frankly, as a worker, any more.  That dude puts in work, he's a machine.  Bosh was great - 24 and 9 on 9-11.  Should have touched the ball more in the second half.  Battier made three first half triples and 4-8 overall, and Mike Mil-lar started for the still-resting Dwyane Wade and had 9 points, 5 rebounds, and 5 assists in only 24 minutes.  What a luxury that kid is.  Overall, a solid team win, a solid road trip, and we all let it fly, each and every one of us...Now let's talk about the Phoenix Suns, cuz they have some of our favorites!

3) First of all, Luis Scola.  He's a pretty nice offensive player, he's tricky and all, but, goodness gracious is he an atrocious athlete.  He set some kind of record for futility in athletic achievement in the first half when Almario Vernard Chalmers scooped up a loose ball on the defensive left wing and rocketed- okay, sprinted- okay, went at Mario Chalmers speed up the left wing.  Scola was the only guy back, and had about a 20 foot lead on Chalmers, plus the angle since he was in the middle of the court, yet somehow Chalmers beat him to the rim by 15 feet for an uncontested layup.  A few moments later, someone on Miami missed a short jumper and Scola leaped- okay, hopped- okay, kind of raised his arms up in the air for the rebound, and broken-backed Mike Mil-lar came flying in over the top of him and in one motion caught the ball and dropped it into the hoop.  They basically didn't play Scola in the second half, since his main move is to okey doke dudes in the air and try to flip the ball into the basket under their armpits (which, admittedly, he is very good at), but the guy guarding him all night was Battier, who can't jump anyways, thus eliminating Scola's entire basketball arsenal.  I remember some people saying two years ago that maybe the Heat would have been better off with Scola over Bosh in the free agent market.  Ummm, oops.

4) Ohhhh, Mike Beasley.  He really did play a pretty good first half.  He scored 12 points, and had a bunch of rebounds.  True, KJ didn't guard him at all, and had to leave at one point because he had diarrhea, but Mike was pretty good.  He went to the rim and scored a couple of buckets, made a couple of jumpers, and I thought he really tried to get his teammates involved, although he did overpass it a little, at one point causing two three second violations in a row on his bigs because he didn't shoot open shots that they expected him to.  But in the second half, it all went awry.  KJ started playing a little harder, and Mike started doing that thing where he drives to the rim, but then tries to avoid contact and flip in shots from impossible angles.  With 5 minutes to go, he had back-to-back brutal turnovers twenty-five feet from the hoop, one when Udonis Haslem just reached out and suddenly ripped the ball out of his hands, and the other when no one was within 10 feet of him and he inexplicably took two steps forwards without dribbling.  Then, after Phoenix closed the gap to 2 with a couple of minutes to go, he had another bad turnover when he drove from the wing, elevated to pass, but Bosh saw it and stepped into the lane, and Beasley just hurled the ball into a crowd.  Then he had another chance in transition to tie the game, pulled up for a wide open 12 footer, and saw it spin around and around and down and back out.  Those are the things that happen to Mike Beasley.  They just do.  On the surface, the numbers weren't bad - 14 points and 8 rebounds - but he took 17 shots, and had 4 turnovers and 1 assist.  Man, all I can do is continue to say it: he has certain talents.  But overall, he's not that talented, he's just not.  It isn't a lack of effort or a lack of focus - people love to pin those things on him.  He's not big enough or explosive enough.  Also, he has the bad juju.  I love that boy, but, man, I don't know...

5) Okay, that was a little bit of a downer because Mike must feel embarrassed about his career - people expected him to be great, and he isn't.  We all feel bad about that.  So let's move on to a guy who is talented, and who does have the juju, and who is great: Jermaine O'Neal!  JERMAINOOO!!!  Predictably, Jermaino has missed most of this season, as the Heat players used to say, "on vacation." As in "Jermaino is on vacation right now."  Eric Reid pointed out that Jermaino recently returned to the team, and that he was back doing what he loves.  He is?  Ohhh, I thought he loved being on vacation, my bad, I didn't realize he loved basketball!  Eric also pointed out that Jermaino is 34 - it's always staggering to hear Jermaino's age, since he's been in the league since 1986.  Only 34?  Are  you sure?  Not 54?  Another interesting Jermaino fact - before he played for the Heat, apparently he spent some time with the Pacers!  I had no idea!  I thought he was ours!  In any case, he played great tonight, as always, he had 10 points and 6 rebounds in 24 minutes, and at a certain point Suns coach Alvin Gentry just decided that both his starting power guys, Scola and Gortat, weren't as good as Jermaino, and went with him most of the second half, which was the smart thing to do.  Don't know why he isn't starting, frankly.  This almost always happens when I'm watching Jermaino play: during one possession the Suns had the ball, and the next thing I knew, the Heat were inbounding it side out of bounds, and I said to M.Minutos, "what happened, how did we get the ball," and she's like, "what are you talking about, that pass went right through Dragic's hands out of bounds, what were you looking at," and I had to admit I was watching Jermaino battle for position with Chris Bosh down on the block (and what a battle it was!), and she was like, "oh, no - not again."  Not as a big a fan of Jermaino as I am, honestly, and by "not as big a fan," I mean, "she thinks he's creepy, and hated having him on the Heat."  Oh well, even M.Minutos isn't perfect - only Jermaino is!  See you next season, boy!

6) Listen, on "Jimmy Olson's Blues," with essentially the Spin Doctors dude posing as Jimmy Olson, it may well be true that Lois Lane "don't need no Superman."  I mean, you could argue it either way, that she does or doesn't, but I think we all agree that if she doesn't, it shouldn't necessarily be a "one-or-the-other" thing between Superman and the Spin Doctors dude.  I mean, that's a long way down from Superman to that dude - I saw him live opening for the Rolling Stones one time and he was wearing skin tight peach pants (which, admittedly, I would wear - fair enough), and doing a lot of twirling half-cartwheels on stage while singing his crappy songs.  I mean, there have to be a couple other options for her before she needs to settle for this guy, right?  I mean, we are talking about Superman... 

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Annnd, it's time for a little rest up in here!  After a grueling road trip, the Heat only play 2 games in the next 11 days!  Suh-weeeet!  Also, inexplicably, only 2 road games in the next 38 days!  Is that even possible?  Vacation for everybody!  The next game is Wednesday against, I think, Milwaukee.  If you need me before then, I'll be doing my laundry - trying to get this kryptonite residue out of my pants is brutal.  What do you think I should use for that?  Shout?  Try to Shout it out?  You're right, that's probably the best bet.  See you Wednesday, princes!
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Heat 98 Nuggets 93

6 Thoughts

1) "Okay, guys - last week we lost to the Heat in Miami when, on the last play of the game, we left Ray Allen open in the corner, KJ James found him with a pass, and Corey Brewer ran into Allen 3 seconds after he drained a triple for a four point play.  I think we've got this one - we've cut a 19 point lead down to 1, and their most clutch shooter, Mario 'Emcee' Chalmers, is out with a bruised triceps, which their play-by-play guy, Eric Reid, misdiagnosed as a bruised biceps.  Just as a side note, guys, Memphis Grizzlies play-by-play announcer Pete Pranica never would make a mistake like that.  Anyways, we've got all the momentum, and there's only 50 seconds left.  All we have to do is crowd KJ James, and make him give the ball up on a 35 foot diagonal pass to Norris Cole spotting up in the left corner for 3.  He's been forced to play the whole second half because of Chalmers' injury, he's been terrible, and there is absolutely no way - I repeat, absolutely NO WAY - he rises up and drops a triple to end our night.  Don't even guard him - even when he catches it, don't even run at him!  We got this!  Ready?  Nuggets on 3 - 1, 2, 3: Nuggets!................Uh-oh..."

2) Best win of the season for Miami.  Second night of a back-to-back, traveling backwards a time zone, Dwyane Wade out for preventative maint- ummm, I mean, a sprained ankle, at altitude, against a good team - it is a game nobody wins, every player on every team looks at this game on the schedule and knows it is a loss.  Except you know who doesn't look at this game on the schedule and know it's a loss?  Shane Battier!  You know why?  He doesn't even read the schedule, he's too busy reading books - NERD!  Annnndddd, he was awesome tonight!  He took 7 shots, all of them threes, and made 6!  He blocked 2 shots, and drew 3 huge offensive fouls.  His triple from the high left wing off a random broken-play pass from KJ when the Heat was struggling to score was the biggest shot of the game.  After the game, Jax asked him how it felt taking those charges, and Battier told him that he was too old for that stuff, that he would enjoy his day off in Phoenix tomorrow, and not to worry because, "I'll put on my full body compression suit for the flight and nerd out reading 'Soccernomics,' a book about statistical analysis in international football."

3) KJ James took a beating tonight, he kept kept getting hit in the head.  Constantine Kostas (or whatever) got him, then JaVale McGee got him (JaGee McVale), then Kenneth Faried got him a couple of times, then Corey Brewer hit him up high with an intentional forearm.  Yet, he shot only 6 free throws, and 2 were end-of-the-game intentional foul free throws.  It was a super-odd night of officiating, and KJ was mad all night long, and he is rarely mad.  He was maddest of all with 1:30 to go and the Heat clinging to a lead, when he tried to throw a pocket bounce pass down the lane to a cutting Chris Bosh, and from behind Andre Miller kicked and half-volleyed the pass to another Nugget and they went down and dunked it to cut the lead to 1.  Hard to believe none of the 3 refs saw that - super-great kick by Miller, though, not easy to control a bouncing ball with your foot like that.  In any case, KJ James was his usual great self - he scored 27 points, 7 rebounds, 3 blocks, including a key rejection of the very annoying Kenneth Faried (it's a long season, kid, calm the heck down).  Most of all, though, with Wade out, he controlled the ball, got the floor spaced correctly, and fired lasers to shooters - 13 assists, most of them for triples, including the big one to Cole, several of Battier's 6, and most of Mike Mil-lar's 4 (4-8 for Mil-lar, starting in place of Wade).  Miami made 13-27 threes - KJ is so good at seeing the right pass, and then has the size and strength and athleticism to deliver it.  So good.  So, so good.

4) Big jinx matchup tonight: the reverse jinx versus the three point jinx.  I correctly identified that, statistically-speaking, very few teams win a game thusly scheduled in Denver.  You could look it up, that's absolutely true, but it's also absolutely true that I mentioned it in last night's blog totally believing in my ability to reverse-jinx us to a win.  GFOB (Great Friend of the Blog) Snets recognized it, and called me on it via email - I saw it at halftime, when we were up by 12, I laughed, and then told him, "we have no shot!"  Seems like a no brainer, right?  Seems like that's going to work every time.  Except, don't forget the absolutely brutal three point jinx Miami has working against it this season, in which guys who are absolutely the worst shooters in captivity turn into, well, Ray Allen against us.  Tonight in the second quarter Denver inserted little used Jordan Hamilton into the game.  How little used was Jordan Hamilton before tonight's game?  Well, he hadn't made a three pointer all season.  And so, of course, instantly, he dropped in three straight bombs.  Why wouldn't he?  Late in the game, perhaps the worst three point shooter in the NBA, Andre Miller, made two end-of-the-shot-clock, flat-footed, shoulder-sling swishes from deep which looked like would be enough to sink the Heat.  Except it wasn't enough, it couldn't overcome the original reverse jinx!  Oops - I did it again!  You're welcome, Heat fans!

5) Ummm - duhhhh!

Mario Chalmers is Voted “Sexiest Man from Alaska”

15Nov

Congrats to Mario Chalmers on being named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man from Alaska” in their “United States of Sexy” segment of the annual Sexiest Man Alive Edition. That’s a lot of sexy in one sentence. The 26 year old member of the Miami Heat helped the team win the 2012 NBA Championship this year and is originally from Anchorage, Alaska.

6) A Sort-of Word That Seems Kind of Harmless In General, But Which Girls, Ummm, Women, Don't Like When It Is Used to Describe Them: Turnstile-y
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Well, we have a night off tomorrow, and Saturday's game against Phoenix starts a little earlier, at 9am.  Thank goodness.  This is the Heat's longest road trip of the season, 6 games in 9 nights, and I'm already exhausted.  Not too sure how the players feel about it - ask Shane Battier, he seems to know everything.  If you need me before Saturday, look for me out in the Everglades, I'm going out there Saturday morning with The Captain on his schooner The Tiramisu.  See you Saturday night, Alaskans!
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Clippers 107 Heat 100

6 Thoughts

1) That was brutal.  I don't mean the loss, that's acceptable to a certain degree - third game in four nights on the road against a good team.  That's going to happen.  I mean the 10:30pm start time.  It's 1:30am now and I'm just getting started.  Time zones suck.  Let's just get through this and go to bed shall we okay good let's go let's get it on let it fly.

2) In all three games Miami has lost this year, they have been absolutely plastered from the three point line.  The Clippers made 10-21 tonight, several of them as they were pulling away in the third quarter.  Some of this makes sense.  Miami plays small, so their wings have to be help-conscious in the paint.  In the playoffs, with everyone on maximum hustle, rotations back out to shooters are quicker - you can't expect that 82 games a season.  But some of it just seems like bad luck.  Chris Paul made two end-of-the-shot-clock triples from a combined 55 feet.  Willie Green, a bad shooter to begin with, knocked down two contested threes in a row.  Even in the second quarter, Caron Butler, another bad three point shooter (but from the University of Connecticut, and therefore a Dos Minutos fave), made 3 threes - two of those extremely bad, well-defended threes.  What the hell?  Can someone miss a shot against us, please?

3) The starting backcourt of Dwyane Wade and Almario Vernard Chalmers combined to shoot 4-15 for 11 points, with 9 assists and 8 turnovers.  That's not exactly, you know, good.  Wade tweaked his ankle in Houston Monday, but seemed to be moving fairly fluidly.  He simply had one of those nights where he seemed to shoot the ball while running, rather than coming under control, being balanced, and taking a quality shot.  For his part, Mario Chalmers kept falling down - he really spent an impressive amount of time on the deck tonight.  Not saying that affected his shooting at all, just noting his lack of balance. 

4) Chris Paul and Blake Griffin have to be the least likable pick-and-roll duo on earth.  One is a 6 foot tall smirking jackass who delivers an inordinate number of cheap shots during a game, and the other is a 6 foot 9 inch tall smirking jackass who delivers an inordinate number of cheap shots during a game.  Not even the most die hard Clipper fan would attempt to make an argument that either one of these guys is even remotely likable.  Outside of everyone currently associated with the Celtics organization, and Russell Westbrook, they are probably the two least likable players in the NBA.  My favorite play of the night was when Griffin set a high screen for Paul, Paul decided to try to split the double team, but instead smashed straight into Griffin, which knocked the ball loose and sent the Heat on a fastbreak, after which Paul wheeled around and yelled at Griffin, as though Griffin were the one who had just mindlessly dribbled the ball directly into a teammate's hip bone.  Tough to choose a side in that argument - there are no winners in that situation.  Second favorite play of the night: when Griffin had an uncontested dunk and stuffed himself on the front of the rim.  Third favorite play of the night: the final buzzer to end the game.

5) Why Old Dudes Should Not Use Twitter, and Specifically Not Heat Color Commentator Tony Fiorentino, Episode II:

@jbeef3  I have an early day tomorrow... Any chance u can get the game started earlier tonight? U got pull?

Tony Fiorentino‏@TonyHEAT2xWC

Ask the NBA

I'm really starting to think that Tony might not understand, you know, jokes.

6) We all been through a lot, but we can still enjoy a light lunch together.
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It's 2 am, I'm going to bed.  We have another 10:30 pm start tomorrow in Denver.  That's insane.  The chances of winning that game are approximately zero percent.  I saw a statistic last year for teams playing the second night of a back-to-back in Denver coming from the West Coast the last few seasons - their record is something ridiculously bad, like 6 wins and 290 losses.  Can someone with a computer look that up and email that to me?  Nights like tonight and tomorrow are when I truly, truly hate the blog...If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be sleeping, waking up angsty, but enjoying a light lunch on the early side of noon.  See you tomorrow night, you smirking beauties...
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Heat 113 Rockets 110

6 Thoughts

1) These two teams traded bomb after bomb down the stretch.  The Heat got down 8 late, and then KJ James would make some ridiculous 25 foot three pointer over a double-team, then the Rockets would walk the ball to the other end, Battier would take their best player James Harden, Patrick Patterson would set a a mild screen for Harden, Battier and Chris Bosh would just automatically switch defensively for no reason, Harden would break Bosh down off the dribble, the defense would sink to the paint, and Harden would find some stiff on the perimeter - Chandler Parsons; one of the Morris twins, I have no idea which one; Carlos Delfino - who would bury a triple dead center.  It went right down to the end.  It was a thriller.  It was a heart-pounder.  You know what it was, actually?  A humdinger!  You know how I know?  'Cuz Eric Reid said so!  In a related story, Grizzlies play-by-play announcer Pete Pranica called it a donnybrook!  Watch your back, E. Reid, watch your back!  Oh, and one more thing: Let it fly!!!!!!!!

2) For all the great individual efforts in this game - KJ James' 38 points, 32 in the second half (and his 5th straight 20 point 10 rebound game); Omer Asik's 19 points 14 rebounds; Chandler Parsons' 25 - two coaching gaffes by the Rockets and solid coaching by the Heat, may have been the difference.  Down 1 with under 30 seconds to go, KJ James made a brilliant defensive play, coming off his man to wall off a Harden drive at the rim, producing the first Miami stop since, seemingly, last season.  After James drove and scored to put the Heat up 1 with 18 seconds to go, Jeremy Lin whiffed a triple 3 feet wide left, and Dwyane Wade caught the airball, and was fouled with under 10 seconds to go.  Rockets' coach Kevin McHale was home dealing with a family issue, and long-time college coach (before he was essentially kicked out of the NCAA for repeatedly violating recruiting rules) Kelvin Sampson was running the bench.  Omer Asik, who dominated the painted area in this game, had been on the bench down the stretch because he can't guard Bosh, and the Rockets wanted more shooting on the floor offensively.  But with Wade shooting 2 free throws, and the Rockets intending to call timeout after the shots, you have to insert Asik for the defensive rebound.  Have to - it's a no brainer, every team does it.  Sampson didn't do it, Wade missed both, but on the second, Bosh went right up over the top of two Rockets, snatched the rebound, got fouled, and made both shots to put the Heat up 3.  To compound the problem, during the ensuing timeout, Sampson forgot to re-insert Jeremy Lin, and had to call his final timeout after sending the team back on to the floor to get Lin back in the game.  This ensured that the Rockets had to shoot a three to try to tie it, since without any timeouts left, they couldn't go for 2, foul, and bring the ball back to midcourt.  The timeout mistake was brutal, especially after the rebounding error - Tony Fiorentino pointed out "that's where your assistant coaches come in, to keep track of that stuff."  Ahhh, that's the problem - Kelvin Sampson is the assistant coach!  Oops!  Meanwhile, Coach Spo recognized that Houston would have to shoot a three, and for the first time all night put the league's best wing defender, KJ James, on Houston's best player, Harden.  Harden took two dribbles, tried to okey doke KJ, who stayed glued to his left (shooting) hand, and Harden eventually threw up an awkward fling under duress that missed by a mile.  Sometimes coaching doesn't matter at all - the players generally win or lose it.  But tonight it mattered a little bit, and Spo won that battle down the stretch.

3) Just realize this: no one in this league can really guard Chris Bosh, not when he's surrounded by KJ James, Dwyane Wade, and so many shooters.  He scored 24 more tonight on 10-14, and had 3 assists for good measure (not to mention the biggest play of the game amongst his 10 rebounds).  Here's what it has come to: in the second quarter, after a hot start, our Udonis Haslem-Rashard Lewis combination up front ground both the offense and the defense to a halt, and we didn't score for about an hour.  KJ James was passive (to be honest, he didn't play with a ton of energy, even in the second half - he just kept making bombs), Wade was out for a long while, and Ray Allen couldn't shake free for looks because the ball was not moving well.  When Bosh came back in, he didn't touch the ball for two or three possessions, prompting someone in Casa Dos, it doesn't really matter who, to scream at the tv "throw the ball to Bosh and let him score," whereupon someone finally did, and he did, instantly, twice in a row.  He is playing tremendous basketball right now.  Through all the criticism of Bosh over the last two seasons, I was often his only defender, the only one pointing out how talented he was, and how important he was to the team.  Go ahead, look back over the blog and see what you find!  And, believe me, I definitely didn't go back and edit any of the passages about him over his first two seasons here!  Are you crazy?  Do you think I have time to do that?  Of course I don't, I'm a grown-ass man!

4) Who in this league gets more dunks when he never comes back on defense and his team gets a stop and flips the ball downcourt to him where he is all by himself than Dwyane Wade?  Answer: no one.  And it's not even close!  Had a couple more tonight!

5) O!  M!  G!  It's like someone has been reading my mind when I'm dreaming, the really good dreams, the kind where you wake up, and you're ummm, kind of feeling it, if you know what I mean!  I mean, this is unbelievable, even I never expected this!  If anything could ever move Mario "Emcee" Chalmers past Mike Bibby as my all-time favorite Heat point guard, it would definitely go a little something like this: http://blogs.thescore.com/tbj/2012/11/12/new-nba-music-mario-chalmers-has-a-rap-song/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

6) Shocker.

 

 

 

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We just played back-to-back games, we have tomorrow night off, and then we are back-to-back on Wednesday in LA versus the Clippers, and Thursday against Denver.  Those are both late games - ughhh!  If you need me before Wednesday, I'll be applying for the new opening at the CIA.  See you then, soldiers!
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Grizzlies 104 Heat 86

6 Thoughts

1) Listen, any time Wayne Ellington comes off Memphis' bench to hit 7-11 triples and score 25 points in 27 minutes, surpassing his career high by 7 points, you're probably going to lose.  Who?  Exactly!  Miami hung around for awhile, mostly because Memphis missed about 15 one foot layups, but in the end, Memphis just made too many triples (14-24) in a game where Miami couldn't make any shots - 38% overall, 4-15 triples, and 14 missed free throws.  I think a few dudes may have hit up the barbecue buffet line one time too many, and I'm not talking about Jax and Tony Fiorentino.  Well, we didn't want to have to do this, and it certainly comes out of nowhere, but we can't say he didn't earn it: Let It Fly, Wayne Ellington...Let. It. Fly.

2) This game was, bizarrely, billed as a litmus test for Miami's small lineup, since Memphis is really big up front.  People keep talking about Miami's small lineup, as in "can you win a title playing that small?"  Ummm, I'm pretty sure you can since, you know, we just did it!   In fact, we didn't really take off in the playoffs last year until Bosh came back from his injury and started at center with Battier at power forward, and liberal doses of KJ James playing the 4 as well.  That's the exact same starting lineup we are using this year.  Did I miss something?  Why is this even a question?  In any case, the rebounds were even tonight - KJ James made a strong effort on the boards with 10, and Dwyane Wade added 8.  That's how Miami survives with a small lineup in the playoffs, when it matters - they have the best two rebounding wings in basketball.  The points in the paint, I believe, were in favor of Miami tonight, too - although, I do think this was skewed because Memphis missed so many bunnies.  Also, Memphis was able to get a lot of good looks on the perimeter by playing inside out.  But that's no different than Miami creating looks off of drive-and-kicks by KJ and Dwyane.  Tonight Memphis made the shots, and Miami didn't.  I'm sure this won't answer the national basketball media's concerns that Miami is playing too small a lineup, but whatever.  If winning a championship didn't convince people, nothing that happened tonight was going to sway them.  Some people love to be dunces - that's a constant in life...

3) I hate to do this every game, but I am getting super tight about my Bosh predictions.  I thought he played very well again tonight - he battled the mountain-like Marc Gasol and the wide-bootied Zach Randolph as well as he could, and scored 22 points on 8-12 shooting.  Super-efficient.  But he didn't even shoot a three - he had one clean opportunity early in the game, but instead opted to pump fake Gasol by him in favor of a drive, stepped on the sideline, and turned it over.  He had other opportunities to shoot triples, since Gasol was only ever going to come out so far, but he kept putting the ball on the deck and going past him.  It was the right basketball play most of the time, but not the right play for my prediction that he'd make 50 triples this season.  He's stuck on one at the moment.  And now he's tied with "Jorts" (Jean shorts), Josh Harrellson, who came off the bench in garbage time and fired one in.  Jesus, Chris Bosh - do you see how easy it is?  Why can't you be more like Josh Harrellson?!?

4) Did I ever tell you about the time I met Memphis forward, and former University of Connecticut great, Rudy Gay, in the Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester, Connecticut?  It was a few years ago, over Christmas, I was home visiting family, he walked by me in the mall while my kids were playing on the indoor mall playground, and I said, "Hey, Rudy Gay, what's up?" and he said, "Hey, how are you?" and gave me dap.  He was with another player on UConn, but now I forget who.  The end.  Rudy was really good tonight, by the way, 21 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, 4 steals, 2 blocks, and one massive tomahawk dunk.  KJ-esque!  I love Rudy Gay!

5) Okay, double-standard time.  I'm allowed to love Rudy Gay because he went to the University of Connecticut, and I'm from Connecticut - that's just the way it is, I didn't make the rules, that's just life.  But it was more than a little disturbing when Heat television play-by-player extraordinaire, Eric Reid, enthused "I like what I am seeing out of 25 year old point guard Mike Conley tonight," and not just because most human beings don't refer to other people by their ages - "hey, this is my wife, the 28 year old cutie that I originally met in college!"  It's disturbing because Mike Conley was cutting up the Heat, and particularly Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, with his drives into the lane, finishing at the rim, and precise passing - he scored 18 points and had 9 assists.  Oh really, Eric Reid?  Guess what?  You know what I liked tonight?  What I heard out of Memphis Grizzlies tv play-by-play guy Pete Pranica!  He was absolutely terrific!  Did you know he started with the Grizzlies as their radio guy, then later became the tv announcer?  Yeah, it's true - multi-talented.  He also spent several seasons as the play-by-play guy for the Portland Trailblazers, working with color analyst Steve "Snapper" Jones - not too shabby.  How about this: did you know that he worked on NBC's award-winning coverage of the 2004 Athens Olympics, calling the team handball and judo competitions?  I forgot - which Olympics did you say that you covered, Eric Reid?  Also, Pete Pranica writes a column during the season on grizzlies.com, and instead of "Kaboom Town," he calls a three pointer "Kerpow-ville!"  I love you, Eric Reid, I'm just saying...Later in the game, Eric claimed he was looking forward to the Heat's rematch with the Grizzlies, back in Miami on March 1st.  Why, so you can watch Mike Conley carve us up again?  Listen, all I could think about was how if we still had Mike Bibby as our point guard, none of this would have been happening...

6) No one reading this blog can credibly claim he or she makes any differentiation between the names Brendan and Brandon.  Seriously - you don't even try to keep track of who is a Brendan and who is a Brandon, do you?  And why would you, what is the difference, honestly?  On this recent documentary called "Being Liverpool" on Fox Soccerrrr about my football club, Liverpool (that's "soccer club" to you rube-ish Americans), at one point Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine calls new Liverpool manager Brendan Rogers "Brandon," and it made me laugh because he was inadvertently making a good point - no one cares about the difference.  In fact, I'm not sure Liverpool's manager isn't named Brandon Rogers, and Bobby Valentine called him "Brendan."  Whatever.  We all know what you do when you know a Brendan or a Brandon, and you need to use his name - you just say it super-fast, and kind of mumbly, and hope it gets by.  Even if you're wrong, and he notices, who cares?  That my point - no one cares.  Are you listening to me?  No one cares!
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Our next game is tomorrow in Houston against James Harden, Jeremy Lin, and the new-look Houston Rockets.  Let's hope that game is more interesting than the one we played last week against the new-look New Jersey Nets.  I love saying "new-look!"  If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be watching old episodes of 90210 - love that Brendan Walsh!  See you tomorrow night, Fox Soccerrrr fans!
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Heat 95 Hawks 89

6 Thoughts

1) The Mike Bibby Classic on Ascot Friday in Atlanta!  Just don't get no better than that.  The two teams on which Mike Bibby had his greatest successes (if you don't count all his great seasons in Sacramento, which I don't) - and in his honor, the two point guards, Almario Vernard Chalmers and Jeff Teague delivered in a huge way.  And Heat sideline reporter extraordinaire, Jason Jackson, who brings it extra-hard on Friday nights throughout the season, sartorially speaking, remembered to bring the ascot - last Friday he forgot to bring it to New York, and that's the only game we've lost!  Ten toes in, boy!  Not five!  Ten toes in!  Let it Fly!

2) Now, look, no one on the Heat or the Hawks is ever going to play the point guard position better than Mike Bibby did for these two franchises.  But Chalmers and Teague both tried tonight - and they were entertaining.  During Emcee's rookie season, Miami lost a 7 game series to the Hawks in the first round of the playoffs in which Emcee and Bibby spent 35 minutes a night standing on the perimeter girl-slapping each other into as great a state of aggravation as each of them can muster which, frankly, is not that great.  They are mellow dudes.  Tonight, though, Chalmers showed his growth as a player - instead of slapping people, he was tackling dudes all night long.  In the first quarter, he drove on Teague, Teague blocked his running layup, then Chalmers hit Teague in the face with an "accidental swinging forearm," then wrapped up Teague's arm and held onto him so Teague couldn't run back up court.  In the second quarter he fell and wrapped up Josh Smith's leg, holding on so Smith couldn't go anywhere, then later barrelled into a loose ball scrum and absolutely tackled Anthony Tolliver to the floor!  Getting physical!  He also had 10 points, including a big three down the stretch, and didn't turn the ball over.  But Teague, who was obviously well-mentored by Bibby, was great himself - he had 20 points on 7-8 shooting, including late back-to-back threes to tie the score, the second a backing up triple off the dribble that the Heat dared him to shoot.  Also had 11 assists and only 2 turnovers.  I'd like to think that somewhere Mike Bibby was watching this game and beaming with pride at his two former students, but he was probably sleeping.

3) Dwyane Wade missed this game with a cold.  This is exactly what I think we all hoped would happen this year - it's a long road trip the Heat are starting, it's a super-long season, we have a lot of aching, older bodies (not me, of course - I feel great) - give dudes nights off if they don't feel great.  Mike Mil-lar started in his place, and Ray Allen scored 17 (on 3-5 triples - Jesus, can he shoot!), but it was, ummm, Rashard Lewis (!) who stepped up to replace Dwyane by scoring three straight huge hoops late in the third quarter after the Heat had slipped behind by 5.  He knocked down a long left wing triple, then scored two straight post up short turnaround jumpers when he recognized he had a mismatch against the smaller Anthony Morrow - along with a Mil-lar technical free throw, the Heat went from 5 behind to 3 up in 90 seconds.  I can't say I've enjoyed watching Lewis play so far this season, but this was his best stretch of play.

4) KJ James didn't seem overly engaged, then bumped knees with Josh Smith in the second quarter, and seemed even less engaged afterwards.  Still, he finished with 21 points on 9-17, 11 assists, and 9 rebounds.  He only took one shot in the fourth quarter when, up 2, he took two dribbles to the left wing, Jordan-shoved DeShawn Stevenson to the ground, and buried a 20 footer to put the Heat up 4 with 13 seconds left.  Ballgame.  He's okay.

5) Chris Bosh: 7-13 from the floor, 10-10 from the line, for 24 points, and stuck a sweet pullup 20 footer in transition to put the Heat up 2 with 2 minutes to play.  Then, with under a minute to go, he made the play of the game by recognizing the Hawks trying to alley-oop backdoor to Josh Smith, and getting up to tip the ball away.  He's playing so well this season, so relaxed but active on both ends, if that makes any sense.  On the other hand, he's murdering my prediction that he would make more than 50 triples - 0-2 tonight, to fall to 1-10 on the season through 6 games.  Every time he catches the ball anywhere behind the arc, even if it's 70 feet away, I scream for him to shoot.  Got to get to 50, boy, you're wayyy behind pace!  Ten toes in, boy, not five - ten toes in!!!

6) Even if you were in Hell, you'd still be 45 minutes out of Scranton.  But if you did ever get there, you might see this:

So good!  When is he coming out with another album?  Is it true that he also did some acting?  Not familiar with that part of his career.  By the way, not a lot of people know this, but after Bruce Willis left that band, they hired Darius Rucker and became Hootie and the Blowfish.  Everybody wins!
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Next game is Sunday.  I hate Sunday games more than I hate Russell Westbrook, but at least it's an evening game, not an afternoon game.  I think we are in Memphis.  If you need me before then, I'll be wearing a headband, practicing long set shots, and "casually" throwing towels while opponents are shooting free throws.  Have a great weekend - drink a wine cooler or three for me!
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