6 Thoughts
1) Close, entertaining game, ending in a loss at home to one of the best teams in the league on Alonzo Mourning Jersey Retirement Night. Now 8 games left, Heat at 39-35. Still clinging to the 5th playoff spot and a potential first round date with Atlanta.
2) Wade with a somewhat ragged 42 - it took him 34 shots. Averaging just around 30 points a game, leads LeBron James by about a point and a half. Wade is probably going to win his first scoring title. That doesn't really mean anything - but it is fun to watch a guy pour in 2200 or so points through 73 games.
3) Zo's jersey was raised to the rafters at halftime. Highlights of the approximately 3.5 hour ceremony: fat Pat Ewing; Georgetown coach John Thompson's hurried speech - apparently he had somewhere else to be; and Zo's tears. Also, the size of the jersey that actually was raised to the rafters - it was about 10 feet tall. I have seen a million retired jerseys in a million arenas - it never occured to me that they were giant jerseys, I just thought they were normal sized. Who knew?
4) Even better than the ceremony, though - the in-game 3rd quarter on-air interview with Zo's teenage AAU coach, Virgina basketball legend Boo Williams. Boo apparently attended Shawn Marion's School of Non-Elocution, plus he is approximately 100 years old - I didn't understand a word the guy said. When Heat play by play announcer Eric Reid asked him if he had any up and coming players on his current AAU team, I am pretty sure he said "Dave Matthews," who is, you know, from Virginia. Hike your skirt up a little more, Boo Williams, and show the world to me...
5) Even on Zo's night, the highlight, for me, was that backup "point guard," and dribbling fanatic, Luther Head, somehow, broke his hand, and is out four to six weeks - that is likely the rest of the year for Miami, which is unlikely to extend its season past the first round of the playoffs. In fact, I will gladly lose in the first round just so I don't have to watch Luther Head play again this season. That means DWade will handle the ball more than ever, Daequan Cook will be force fed some minutes, and maybe even The Captain favorite Chris Quinn will see the light of day.
6) Worth mentioning on Zo night that M.Minutos and I came up together in our early 20s spending many, many a night watching Zo in the mid and late 90s. It was a pleasure, just us two kids -and Zo - against the world. It was simpler times: the economy was solid, we weren't fighting irrational wars all over the globe, and gas was a nickel a gallon. On a personal level, we didn't have children yet, and so we had loads of discretionary time and income. We, happily, spent a good portion of both of those on Zo's Heat squads...and, copious, copious amounts of cocaine...
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Heat 102 Bucks 85
Whoops, got a little excited there...
6 Thoughts
1) Just what the Heat needed, a bad team at home. Now 39-34, 9 games left, a game up on Philly for the 5th spot. The Heat are probably in the playoffs - that is amazing - now just trying to stay up in 5th. But whether they do or not, this season has been a very pleasant surprise.
2) Udonis Haslem has regained the shooting stroke over the past week and a half, 8-9 tonight for 16 points, 12 boards. He is shooting 68% over his past 5. The back is probably feeling better. Udonis is a warrior - this is his time of year. Never scared to take a big spot up jumper.
3) Daequan Cook has gone to the time-honored symbolic gesture indicative of trying to find oneself (and one's lost shooting touch): the beard. To be honest, it is more of a white guy thing, where the list of those who have utilized this tactic is long and distinguished. White guys who have used this technique, with varying degrees of success: Luke Skywalker; all the 90210 guys, post-90210; Al Gore; Eddie, from Eddie and the Cruisers, after he faked his own death; Jack on Lost; Bill Murray; Ben Affleck; and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook ("It wasn't over when you left, you know..." "It's still not over!" F-yeah, Ryan Gosling!!!). Also, Joaquim Phoenix. Also, one guy who should try it, just to change up the karma: Tony Romo. Daequan's is bushy, but shaved low to the jawline, Amish style - sweet. Made 2-4 threes in 14 minutes, so it may be working. We'll follow this closely.
4) Second year Bucks point guard Ramon Sessions claims his name is "Ramon," rhyming with "Come on." Yeah, right. Where I come from, that's "Ramone," like "a bone." Also, denies his middle name is "Crapo."
5) Former Heat point guard Damon Jones is finishing up his career at the end of the Bucks bench. Appears somewhere between 10 and 40 pounds overweight. Checked in near the end of the game in garbage time and immediately launched an airball three pointer that missed the basket by approximately 7 feet. "Damon looks out of shape to me," Eric Reid told Tony Fiorentino with concern.
6) Finally, from The Captain, the obligatory:
I am very familiar with Mike Crapo, Congressman from from Idaho. I worked on his campaign and fell in love with his secretary, Anita Bidet.
See you on Monday, everybody, home against Orlando, for Alonzo Mourning Jersey Retirement Night; or, as it known in Plumber's house, "9-11."
-----------------------
6 Thoughts
1) Just what the Heat needed, a bad team at home. Now 39-34, 9 games left, a game up on Philly for the 5th spot. The Heat are probably in the playoffs - that is amazing - now just trying to stay up in 5th. But whether they do or not, this season has been a very pleasant surprise.
2) Udonis Haslem has regained the shooting stroke over the past week and a half, 8-9 tonight for 16 points, 12 boards. He is shooting 68% over his past 5. The back is probably feeling better. Udonis is a warrior - this is his time of year. Never scared to take a big spot up jumper.
3) Daequan Cook has gone to the time-honored symbolic gesture indicative of trying to find oneself (and one's lost shooting touch): the beard. To be honest, it is more of a white guy thing, where the list of those who have utilized this tactic is long and distinguished. White guys who have used this technique, with varying degrees of success: Luke Skywalker; all the 90210 guys, post-90210; Al Gore; Eddie, from Eddie and the Cruisers, after he faked his own death; Jack on Lost; Bill Murray; Ben Affleck; and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook ("It wasn't over when you left, you know..." "It's still not over!" F-yeah, Ryan Gosling!!!). Also, Joaquim Phoenix. Also, one guy who should try it, just to change up the karma: Tony Romo. Daequan's is bushy, but shaved low to the jawline, Amish style - sweet. Made 2-4 threes in 14 minutes, so it may be working. We'll follow this closely.
4) Second year Bucks point guard Ramon Sessions claims his name is "Ramon," rhyming with "Come on." Yeah, right. Where I come from, that's "Ramone," like "a bone." Also, denies his middle name is "Crapo."
5) Former Heat point guard Damon Jones is finishing up his career at the end of the Bucks bench. Appears somewhere between 10 and 40 pounds overweight. Checked in near the end of the game in garbage time and immediately launched an airball three pointer that missed the basket by approximately 7 feet. "Damon looks out of shape to me," Eric Reid told Tony Fiorentino with concern.
6) Finally, from The Captain, the obligatory:
I am very familiar with Mike Crapo, Congressman from from Idaho. I worked on his campaign and fell in love with his secretary, Anita Bidet.
See you on Monday, everybody, home against Orlando, for Alonzo Mourning Jersey Retirement Night; or, as it known in Plumber's house, "9-11."
-----------------------
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Bulls 106 Heat 87
6 Thoughts
1) Blown out - way out - against the Bulls. Let's get through this quickly because there is some late breaking news on the Mike Crapo story down at # 6.
2) Heat now 38-34, ten games left. Tied with the Sixers for the 5th spot. The 5th spot plays Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs. Fall to 6th and it is Boston or Orlando. That's tough - but a spot anywhere in the playoffs has to be looked at as a huge accomplishment for this team. And, realistically, they aren't beating Atlanta, either - they are the team that gives Wade the most trouble right now.
3) Midseason additions to the lineup Luther Head and James Jones are both playing absolutely brutal basketball right now, and have been since they arrived. Daequan Cook has disappeared. The bench is struggling - someone needs to get going. Somehow it has to be Cook, who was scoreless tonight in 10 quiet minutes.
4) Bulls looking big, athletic and frisky. Signs of life from Joakim Noah and Ty Thomas, and the addition of Brad Miller makes them bigger, and a better passing team. By winning, they moved into 7th place, past Detroit. It looks like the 8 playoff teams in the East are set: Cleveland, Orlando, Boston, Atlanta, Philly, Miami, Chicago, and Detroit. Would take a big collapse and a late rush from a bad team to change that.
5) Michael Jordan's son Marcus Jordan was honored at halftime as part of his Illinois State Basketball Championship team. Led us to wonder at Dos Hacienda what the chances are he even knows Michael Jordan. "I don't know, but if he does, he probably hates him," guessed M.Minutos, who finds Jordan unbearable.
6) Okay, so here goes. Received an email from a reader claiming that Idaho Senator Mike Crapo's name is actually pronounced "cray-poe," not "crappo." Tough not to notice, though, that the email address was mcstinky@idaho.state.gov. I smell something amiss. I mean, there is really a foul stench around this entire situation. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that no matter what this emailer says, it's "crappo." .....
"Does anyone have any further questions for the panel? Senator Crapo? No? Well, then, that concludes this joint sub-committee hearing on 'Fecal Matter and its Potential as an Alternative Fuel.' Thank you to our senators, and our guests - with some of this information we have heard here tonight, whew - I really feel like a load has been lifted off of my mind...I'll see you all back here tomorrow when we investigate the link between anal fissures and the low retention rate in the military. Until then..."
1) Blown out - way out - against the Bulls. Let's get through this quickly because there is some late breaking news on the Mike Crapo story down at # 6.
2) Heat now 38-34, ten games left. Tied with the Sixers for the 5th spot. The 5th spot plays Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs. Fall to 6th and it is Boston or Orlando. That's tough - but a spot anywhere in the playoffs has to be looked at as a huge accomplishment for this team. And, realistically, they aren't beating Atlanta, either - they are the team that gives Wade the most trouble right now.
3) Midseason additions to the lineup Luther Head and James Jones are both playing absolutely brutal basketball right now, and have been since they arrived. Daequan Cook has disappeared. The bench is struggling - someone needs to get going. Somehow it has to be Cook, who was scoreless tonight in 10 quiet minutes.
4) Bulls looking big, athletic and frisky. Signs of life from Joakim Noah and Ty Thomas, and the addition of Brad Miller makes them bigger, and a better passing team. By winning, they moved into 7th place, past Detroit. It looks like the 8 playoff teams in the East are set: Cleveland, Orlando, Boston, Atlanta, Philly, Miami, Chicago, and Detroit. Would take a big collapse and a late rush from a bad team to change that.
5) Michael Jordan's son Marcus Jordan was honored at halftime as part of his Illinois State Basketball Championship team. Led us to wonder at Dos Hacienda what the chances are he even knows Michael Jordan. "I don't know, but if he does, he probably hates him," guessed M.Minutos, who finds Jordan unbearable.
6) Okay, so here goes. Received an email from a reader claiming that Idaho Senator Mike Crapo's name is actually pronounced "cray-poe," not "crappo." Tough not to notice, though, that the email address was mcstinky@idaho.state.gov. I smell something amiss. I mean, there is really a foul stench around this entire situation. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that no matter what this emailer says, it's "crappo." .....
"Does anyone have any further questions for the panel? Senator Crapo? No? Well, then, that concludes this joint sub-committee hearing on 'Fecal Matter and its Potential as an Alternative Fuel.' Thank you to our senators, and our guests - with some of this information we have heard here tonight, whew - I really feel like a load has been lifted off of my mind...I'll see you all back here tomorrow when we investigate the link between anal fissures and the low retention rate in the military. Until then..."
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Pacers 90 Heat 88
6 Thoughts
1) Like every other game since the advent of fire, Miami lost in Indiana. That's eighteen straight losses in the Hoosier state. You know the "I hate what they did to me" syndrome? Like, you don't offer to renew marginal backup point guard Keyon Dooling's contract, then he comes back the next season with another team and plays his best game of the year against you because he hates what you did to him? That should have been Jermaine O'Neal tonight, a former longtime Pacer. Instead: "Oh, playing in Indiana was the best time of my life," gushed Jermaino. Dammit. The jinx even got to Wade, who played arguably his worst game of the year, a positively Iversonian 5-23, and a missed three at the buzzer which spun in and out. Now 38-33, game tomorrow in Chicago. The last two games against the Bulls have been the Shawn Marion swan-song-buzzer-dunk-for-the-win game, and the triple overtime Dwyane Wade steal-and-running-three-pointer-at-the-buzzer-for-the-win game. I'm sure the Bulls hate what we have done to them...
2) In the same interview, Jermaino asserted that his former Pacer coach, and noted franchise killer, Isaiah Thomas, is "one of the top 6 guys in my life." Really? Isaiah Thomas? Is that a good idea? This guy has been a colossal failure at every post-playing career basketball job he has ever had - like, really bad. Like, "oops, I just became commissioner of the CBA and bankrupted the entire league" bad...The other top 5 guys in Jermaino's life? Actor Tom Sizemore, former Alabama governor George Wallace, one of the guys from Enron, Will.I.Am, and William Ayres (when he was still a terrorist).
3) Midway through the second quarter, Pacer forward Danny Granger caught a ball out on the perimeter, lowered his head, and rushed for the basket...Enter El Rookie, The Beaz Markie, Be-Easy-Michael-Beasley who slid across the lane, and thrust himself in front of Granger for a big collision just a fraction of a second too late to draw an offensive foul - and got the call! First charge of the year drawn by Mike, in his 71st game (minus one when his dog gave him the flu), and approximately his 400th attempt. Got up smiling like he just won the Superbowl, as the bench erupted in laughter and congratulations. Before he even hit the deck, Eric Reid pointed out it was the first charge Beasley had drawn this year. "Eric, I think it might be the first charge he has drawn in his life," guessed Tony Fiorentino.
4) Quick bagpipe music update: on an extremely rare Walmart trip this evening with O. and P. Minutos, I came face-to-face with a cheesy cd display, the kind with a lot of ambient music, where you can touch the screen to hear samples. "New!" read a sign, "Scotland's Finest Pipe and Drum Music." A surge of electricity jolted my body - we played the sample, it was Amazing Grace, a classic bagpipe lament. Two problems - first, the sample was very short, I didn't get to hear any drums, just the beginning of the song with bagpipers only. I assume that the snares kicked in hard and sharp, but since I didn't hear them, how do I know other instruments didn't come in as well and ruin the song? If you recall, that's what happened a couple of weeks ago in what I like to call "The Tragedy of Caledonia." Second - the song wasn't sad enough, it wasn't mournful or pleading enough. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great - I got the sense that the bagpipers on the cd were mailing it in, just playing for the check. That's not how I like my bagpipe music. I didn't buy the cd. The search continues...
5) "The Fast and the Furious" is one of my favorite movies that I have never seen. It looks dark, mysterious, and edgy, Vin Diesel is cool, I have man crushes on Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez, and, of course, anyone who knows me knows I am a total gearhead. Now they have made a sequel called - ah, I'm not sure...Faster and More Furious? - and there is a preview which is running constantly during Heat games. It is the one commercial that I stop the Tivo fast forward to watch. Every time I see it, I am like, "whooaaa - Diesel and Walker, crap, man, back together, I have to see that." But I haven't even seen the first one. Or the crappy second one, Tokyo Drift, starring Lucas Black, that I resented, even though I, again, never saw it. Sometimes there are jokes on this blog - this is not a joke.
6) Well, I have a new favorite U.S. Congressman, a Republican from Idaho, Mike Crapo. Here is his website: http://crapo.senate.gov/. Won reelection in 2004 in a very tight runoff against longtime political rivals, Ed Asswiper and Will Douchey.
1) Like every other game since the advent of fire, Miami lost in Indiana. That's eighteen straight losses in the Hoosier state. You know the "I hate what they did to me" syndrome? Like, you don't offer to renew marginal backup point guard Keyon Dooling's contract, then he comes back the next season with another team and plays his best game of the year against you because he hates what you did to him? That should have been Jermaine O'Neal tonight, a former longtime Pacer. Instead: "Oh, playing in Indiana was the best time of my life," gushed Jermaino. Dammit. The jinx even got to Wade, who played arguably his worst game of the year, a positively Iversonian 5-23, and a missed three at the buzzer which spun in and out. Now 38-33, game tomorrow in Chicago. The last two games against the Bulls have been the Shawn Marion swan-song-buzzer-dunk-for-the-win game, and the triple overtime Dwyane Wade steal-and-running-three-pointer-at-the-buzzer-for-the-win game. I'm sure the Bulls hate what we have done to them...
2) In the same interview, Jermaino asserted that his former Pacer coach, and noted franchise killer, Isaiah Thomas, is "one of the top 6 guys in my life." Really? Isaiah Thomas? Is that a good idea? This guy has been a colossal failure at every post-playing career basketball job he has ever had - like, really bad. Like, "oops, I just became commissioner of the CBA and bankrupted the entire league" bad...The other top 5 guys in Jermaino's life? Actor Tom Sizemore, former Alabama governor George Wallace, one of the guys from Enron, Will.I.Am, and William Ayres (when he was still a terrorist).
3) Midway through the second quarter, Pacer forward Danny Granger caught a ball out on the perimeter, lowered his head, and rushed for the basket...Enter El Rookie, The Beaz Markie, Be-Easy-Michael-Beasley who slid across the lane, and thrust himself in front of Granger for a big collision just a fraction of a second too late to draw an offensive foul - and got the call! First charge of the year drawn by Mike, in his 71st game (minus one when his dog gave him the flu), and approximately his 400th attempt. Got up smiling like he just won the Superbowl, as the bench erupted in laughter and congratulations. Before he even hit the deck, Eric Reid pointed out it was the first charge Beasley had drawn this year. "Eric, I think it might be the first charge he has drawn in his life," guessed Tony Fiorentino.
4) Quick bagpipe music update: on an extremely rare Walmart trip this evening with O. and P. Minutos, I came face-to-face with a cheesy cd display, the kind with a lot of ambient music, where you can touch the screen to hear samples. "New!" read a sign, "Scotland's Finest Pipe and Drum Music." A surge of electricity jolted my body - we played the sample, it was Amazing Grace, a classic bagpipe lament. Two problems - first, the sample was very short, I didn't get to hear any drums, just the beginning of the song with bagpipers only. I assume that the snares kicked in hard and sharp, but since I didn't hear them, how do I know other instruments didn't come in as well and ruin the song? If you recall, that's what happened a couple of weeks ago in what I like to call "The Tragedy of Caledonia." Second - the song wasn't sad enough, it wasn't mournful or pleading enough. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great - I got the sense that the bagpipers on the cd were mailing it in, just playing for the check. That's not how I like my bagpipe music. I didn't buy the cd. The search continues...
5) "The Fast and the Furious" is one of my favorite movies that I have never seen. It looks dark, mysterious, and edgy, Vin Diesel is cool, I have man crushes on Paul Walker and Michelle Rodriguez, and, of course, anyone who knows me knows I am a total gearhead. Now they have made a sequel called - ah, I'm not sure...Faster and More Furious? - and there is a preview which is running constantly during Heat games. It is the one commercial that I stop the Tivo fast forward to watch. Every time I see it, I am like, "whooaaa - Diesel and Walker, crap, man, back together, I have to see that." But I haven't even seen the first one. Or the crappy second one, Tokyo Drift, starring Lucas Black, that I resented, even though I, again, never saw it. Sometimes there are jokes on this blog - this is not a joke.
6) Well, I have a new favorite U.S. Congressman, a Republican from Idaho, Mike Crapo. Here is his website: http://crapo.senate.gov/. Won reelection in 2004 in a very tight runoff against longtime political rivals, Ed Asswiper and Will Douchey.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Heat 94 Grizzlies 82
6 Thoughts
1) Taking care of business, easy win at home against Memphis. Up 16 at half, game never in doubt in second half. 38-32, 12 games left, keep on pushing, next goal is to get to .500. Not a compelling game, really, let's just breeze through this...
2) The Beaz Markie with a breezy 17 points, 9 rebounds, and one post-game visit to the Sunsport Winner's Lounge where we learned Mike prefers yellow mustard to spicy mustard, likes to do somersaults when he falls because it is easier to get up after rolling, and had no plans for after the game. Giggled a lot. Arguably was high.
3) Jermaine O'Neal missed the game with a sore hip. Enter...The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire! First double-double of the year, 10 points and 12 rebounds in 28 sweaty minutes. Found a soul mate in beefy Grizzly rookie Marc Gasol. Those two have similar absolute passions for banging into other large men in shorts...
4) Daequan Cook's shot is M.I.A. He hasn't broken 10 points in 9 games. He is the one pure outside shooter Miami has, but since winning the three point shooting contest at the All-Star Game he is just 36% on threes, and that includes one 6-8 outburst against Phoenix - that is pedestrian for him. He is seeing his minutes cut, which hurts Miami because they lose the best floor spacer to play with Wade, and lose their best on the ball perimeter defender. Daequan needs to get his swagger back somehow.
5) Memphis has Marco (Jaric) and Darko (Milicic). I am surprised they are not a lot better than 17-53.
6) Many people took the time to comment that yesterday's sixth thought resembled the plot line to the classic S.E. Hinton novel, and subsequent motion picture, The Outsider. That's a great point - I had never quite thought about that before, but you're right, there are a lot of similarities...A couple people wanted to know if I had really attended a Devo concert last weekend. Thank you for asking, but, no, I did not. A couple of factors at play here: 1) I don't think Devo is actually a band any more; 2) Devo is terrible.
----------------
1) Taking care of business, easy win at home against Memphis. Up 16 at half, game never in doubt in second half. 38-32, 12 games left, keep on pushing, next goal is to get to .500. Not a compelling game, really, let's just breeze through this...
2) The Beaz Markie with a breezy 17 points, 9 rebounds, and one post-game visit to the Sunsport Winner's Lounge where we learned Mike prefers yellow mustard to spicy mustard, likes to do somersaults when he falls because it is easier to get up after rolling, and had no plans for after the game. Giggled a lot. Arguably was high.
3) Jermaine O'Neal missed the game with a sore hip. Enter...The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire! First double-double of the year, 10 points and 12 rebounds in 28 sweaty minutes. Found a soul mate in beefy Grizzly rookie Marc Gasol. Those two have similar absolute passions for banging into other large men in shorts...
4) Daequan Cook's shot is M.I.A. He hasn't broken 10 points in 9 games. He is the one pure outside shooter Miami has, but since winning the three point shooting contest at the All-Star Game he is just 36% on threes, and that includes one 6-8 outburst against Phoenix - that is pedestrian for him. He is seeing his minutes cut, which hurts Miami because they lose the best floor spacer to play with Wade, and lose their best on the ball perimeter defender. Daequan needs to get his swagger back somehow.
5) Memphis has Marco (Jaric) and Darko (Milicic). I am surprised they are not a lot better than 17-53.
6) Many people took the time to comment that yesterday's sixth thought resembled the plot line to the classic S.E. Hinton novel, and subsequent motion picture, The Outsider. That's a great point - I had never quite thought about that before, but you're right, there are a lot of similarities...A couple people wanted to know if I had really attended a Devo concert last weekend. Thank you for asking, but, no, I did not. A couple of factors at play here: 1) I don't think Devo is actually a band any more; 2) Devo is terrible.
----------------
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Heat 101 Pistons 96
6 Thoughts
1) One win closer in this improbable playoff run. Now 37-32 after a win in Detroit, 13 games to go. At the start of the season I'd have bet anything we'd have 26 wins right now - only Dos reader Scott from Scotland had any faith in DWade and the boys. He should be writing this blog right now - he is both a better NBA prognosticator, and a better writer than me - that's depressing.
2) Wade - 39 more points, 6 assists, 2 steals (one a game changing breakaway dunk under 2 minutes to go), and 4 blocks. 2 blocks in the last two minutes. Detroit, down 1, with 6.9 seconds to go, with the ball, called timeout. Huddled up, considered their options, then decided that the best course of action was to clear out the top and let Rodney Stuckey go to work on that Wade guy. Bad, bad idea. For one possession, Wade is as good a perimeter defender as there is in basketball - he not only blocked Stuckey's shot, he saved the rebound, and falling out of bounds, found Udonis Haslem with a pass that effectively ended the game. Look, do anything you want on the last play - but don't go at Wade. Worth mentioning here that I have contended all year that former NBA scrub Michael Curry, installed by Detroit GM Joe Dumars in the offseason, seems nothing like a real coach...Also worth mentioning that earlier in the game, ABC play-by-play announcer Mike Breen said that Stuckey "reminds people of Wade in a lot of ways." "Name one," immediately challenged color commentator Jeff Van Gundy. "Well, they are the same body type," offered Breen. "I am the same body type as Allen Iverson," countered Van Gundy. "They are both black," M.Minutos pointed out. If you want to be the Wade, you have to beat the Wade...
3) Look, someone at Hacienda Dos claimed that if the struggling Udonis Haslem came out on the court out of a timeout instead of rookie scoring threat Mike Beasley for the Heat's last offensive possession, down one with 13 seconds to go, that that individual would literally take a dump in his pants. Does it really matter who it was? Let's all just be happy UD picked up a loose ball off a scramble and tossed it in for the game winning basket. Also, just because a person tends to express displeasure and frustration by threatening to take a dump in his pants definitely does not make someone a bad person, just a stinky one.
4) At halftime, ABC sideline reporter Lisa Salters corned injured Piston (and former Connecticut Husky) Rip Hamilton and asked him, "you are missing your fourth straight game with a strained groin - what does it feel like?" Rip couldn't resist a big smile...
5) ABC announcer Mike Breen recounted a story that he had flown across country sitting near Cameron Diaz. After landing, he asked her for an autograph for his daughter - apparently she is a big fan of crappy romantic comedies. She politely turned him down because she didn't want to have to sign autographs for everyone on the plane. "I turned off her movie in the hotel last night," said Van Gundy, supporting his partner. "She's a straight up bitch," asserted third broadcaster, and former Knick great, Mark Jackson. Disclaimer: Mark Jackson did not really say that, and I know it isn't funny to call a woman a bitch, that's why I did it, to point out how funny it isn't - don't email me.
6) A lot of people don't realize this, but I am an absolute fiend for the band Devo. Grew up worshipping them. It was, like - I was nerdy as a kid, but Devo made it cool to be nerdy; they were so ironic - like, "we are so nerdy, but we embrace our nerdiness and, therefore, we are cool." Are we not men? No, we are Devo!
In any case, they are back together and on tour, and this past weekend stopped down in Miami at Bayfront Park for a show. I went down there with my friends Johnny, Darrel, and Dallas. So we are enjoying the show, just rocking out hard to, like, Whip It, and their cover of Satisfaction, when a little static starts between this group of rich hipsters and my crew. The hipsters thought they were all cool, wearing expensive, well-tailored suits. They were probably club owners, or something. So anyways, a little pushing breaks out, and one of the hipsters threatens to take me out back behind the park and drown me in the bay, and Johnny, in a panic, pulls out his glock and kind of pumps one into the guy's stomach. Mayhem ensues - we go fleeing out of the park as the crowd also runs for cover. Outside, Dallas grabs Johnny and me and tells us to run up the street to the construction site where the old Miami Arena used to be, and to wait there for him until he texts us. So we bust up the street there, sneak inside, and hide out.
A day or two goes by. I go out to the convenience store and get some clippers and peroxide, and then we cut our hair low, and dye it blond. Finally, Dallas texts us that he is coming to bring us home - he shows up, but as we are walking to his car, there is, like, a fire in one of the Overtown tenement buildings and Johnny runs in and saves some kids, but gets mortally wounded. We put him in a hospital, then arrange for a big rumble with the hipsters in the abandoned Orange Bowl. The fight goes down - we win - but Johnny dies in the hospital. Dallas freaks out and gets shot by some cops. I go back to school. Quite a weekend, let me tell you...
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1) One win closer in this improbable playoff run. Now 37-32 after a win in Detroit, 13 games to go. At the start of the season I'd have bet anything we'd have 26 wins right now - only Dos reader Scott from Scotland had any faith in DWade and the boys. He should be writing this blog right now - he is both a better NBA prognosticator, and a better writer than me - that's depressing.
2) Wade - 39 more points, 6 assists, 2 steals (one a game changing breakaway dunk under 2 minutes to go), and 4 blocks. 2 blocks in the last two minutes. Detroit, down 1, with 6.9 seconds to go, with the ball, called timeout. Huddled up, considered their options, then decided that the best course of action was to clear out the top and let Rodney Stuckey go to work on that Wade guy. Bad, bad idea. For one possession, Wade is as good a perimeter defender as there is in basketball - he not only blocked Stuckey's shot, he saved the rebound, and falling out of bounds, found Udonis Haslem with a pass that effectively ended the game. Look, do anything you want on the last play - but don't go at Wade. Worth mentioning here that I have contended all year that former NBA scrub Michael Curry, installed by Detroit GM Joe Dumars in the offseason, seems nothing like a real coach...Also worth mentioning that earlier in the game, ABC play-by-play announcer Mike Breen said that Stuckey "reminds people of Wade in a lot of ways." "Name one," immediately challenged color commentator Jeff Van Gundy. "Well, they are the same body type," offered Breen. "I am the same body type as Allen Iverson," countered Van Gundy. "They are both black," M.Minutos pointed out. If you want to be the Wade, you have to beat the Wade...
3) Look, someone at Hacienda Dos claimed that if the struggling Udonis Haslem came out on the court out of a timeout instead of rookie scoring threat Mike Beasley for the Heat's last offensive possession, down one with 13 seconds to go, that that individual would literally take a dump in his pants. Does it really matter who it was? Let's all just be happy UD picked up a loose ball off a scramble and tossed it in for the game winning basket. Also, just because a person tends to express displeasure and frustration by threatening to take a dump in his pants definitely does not make someone a bad person, just a stinky one.
4) At halftime, ABC sideline reporter Lisa Salters corned injured Piston (and former Connecticut Husky) Rip Hamilton and asked him, "you are missing your fourth straight game with a strained groin - what does it feel like?" Rip couldn't resist a big smile...
5) ABC announcer Mike Breen recounted a story that he had flown across country sitting near Cameron Diaz. After landing, he asked her for an autograph for his daughter - apparently she is a big fan of crappy romantic comedies. She politely turned him down because she didn't want to have to sign autographs for everyone on the plane. "I turned off her movie in the hotel last night," said Van Gundy, supporting his partner. "She's a straight up bitch," asserted third broadcaster, and former Knick great, Mark Jackson. Disclaimer: Mark Jackson did not really say that, and I know it isn't funny to call a woman a bitch, that's why I did it, to point out how funny it isn't - don't email me.
6) A lot of people don't realize this, but I am an absolute fiend for the band Devo. Grew up worshipping them. It was, like - I was nerdy as a kid, but Devo made it cool to be nerdy; they were so ironic - like, "we are so nerdy, but we embrace our nerdiness and, therefore, we are cool." Are we not men? No, we are Devo!
In any case, they are back together and on tour, and this past weekend stopped down in Miami at Bayfront Park for a show. I went down there with my friends Johnny, Darrel, and Dallas. So we are enjoying the show, just rocking out hard to, like, Whip It, and their cover of Satisfaction, when a little static starts between this group of rich hipsters and my crew. The hipsters thought they were all cool, wearing expensive, well-tailored suits. They were probably club owners, or something. So anyways, a little pushing breaks out, and one of the hipsters threatens to take me out back behind the park and drown me in the bay, and Johnny, in a panic, pulls out his glock and kind of pumps one into the guy's stomach. Mayhem ensues - we go fleeing out of the park as the crowd also runs for cover. Outside, Dallas grabs Johnny and me and tells us to run up the street to the construction site where the old Miami Arena used to be, and to wait there for him until he texts us. So we bust up the street there, sneak inside, and hide out.
A day or two goes by. I go out to the convenience store and get some clippers and peroxide, and then we cut our hair low, and dye it blond. Finally, Dallas texts us that he is coming to bring us home - he shows up, but as we are walking to his car, there is, like, a fire in one of the Overtown tenement buildings and Johnny runs in and saves some kids, but gets mortally wounded. We put him in a hospital, then arrange for a big rumble with the hipsters in the abandoned Orange Bowl. The fight goes down - we win - but Johnny dies in the hospital. Dallas freaks out and gets shot by some cops. I go back to school. Quite a weekend, let me tell you...
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Friday, March 20, 2009
Nets 96 Heat 88
6 Thoughts
1) This was a tough one to watch, a loss on the road against a bad team, without their best player (Devin Harris out with a strained shoulder). Wade was back, and even though the numbers looked ok (27 points, 8 rebounds, 6 assists), he lacked his usual zip. Just one of those nights, I suppose, that happens over the course of 82 games - you just come out flat against a loose team playing out the string and making shots. Coach Spo searched all nights for answers, playing 11 different guys a minimum of 9 minutes - that rarely works. Miami is just 1-6 on the road since the all-star break, with 8 of the last 14 away from Miami. Just have to hang in there, move on, scratch out a few more wins.
2) There is a problem at the power forward spot. Udonis Haslem is a warrior, doesn't demand any shots, and plays as hard as anyone in basketball trip-for-trip. But right now he looks worn down by a long season, and, perhaps, limited by his back which reportedly has bothered him since a nasty fall several weeks ago. He can't finish at the rim - he is repeatedly getting his shot blocked, or missing layups. On the other hand, Mike Beasley showed his scoring ability again tonight, making 8-11 shots for 17 points in only 26 minutes. The Nets didn't have anyone who could stay in front of him - he went around Yi like Yi went around the chair in the infamous pre-draft workout tape. One, Mike needs more shots - especially when playing with the second unit, the ball needs to go through him, repeatedly. Two, perhaps it is time that minutes get funneled away from Udonis and towards Mike. He played 26 tonight - more than his average - because Udonis got in foul trouble, I suspect. He got pulled with 5 minutes to go in the fourth quarter because he lost focus on an offensive possession and got the ball stripped. Okay, it was twice - but it was the same possession. Coach Spo is hard core about focus - call a timeout, yell at the kid, fine. But I think he needs to be left in there to make some mistakes and, just maybe, to help win a game.
3) This Luther Head, recently signed by Miami to try to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard - Jesus. 1-6 from the floor, quite a few bad decisions. It seems to me the Heat spend a lot of time trying to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard, when the best option, from Dos Headquarters, looks like Chris Quinn. Let's move Luther Head a few seats down the bench for now, please. And make room down there for James Jones.
4) CDR. Big night, career high 17 points for New Jersey, dagger 3 to seal the win. He has a slight whiff of a guy posting numbers for a team that has ceased to care a little, but let's give him a chance, he's just a rookie. Could end up being a scorer off the bench for someone some day.
5) Brook Lopez is so Ilgauskas-like it is almost eerie. One - good shooter. Two - good footwork in the postup game, but very deliberate. Three - never jumps. Four - goober-y looking. Also, good offensive rebounder, keeps the ball high, drops it back in. It is easy to see why he slid in the draft to the Nets at 10 - you wouldn't exactly call him athletic. But it is also easy to see why he is going to be a productive player in the league for a long time - good fundamental skills. And, at the center spot, that is saying something, that makes him a valuable commodity.
6) The AIG thing is bizarre. This is the thing we can all agree on? We are going to take out all our frustration on these guys? We are wasting time on needless legislation to tax these bonuses? Even Republicans are on board with a 90% tax that appears to just be a defacto violation of contracts these employees signed? I, personally, could care less - if people want to throw these guys under the bus, if that is going to make everyone feel better, great. Just seems like an odd waste of energy and resources.
1) This was a tough one to watch, a loss on the road against a bad team, without their best player (Devin Harris out with a strained shoulder). Wade was back, and even though the numbers looked ok (27 points, 8 rebounds, 6 assists), he lacked his usual zip. Just one of those nights, I suppose, that happens over the course of 82 games - you just come out flat against a loose team playing out the string and making shots. Coach Spo searched all nights for answers, playing 11 different guys a minimum of 9 minutes - that rarely works. Miami is just 1-6 on the road since the all-star break, with 8 of the last 14 away from Miami. Just have to hang in there, move on, scratch out a few more wins.
2) There is a problem at the power forward spot. Udonis Haslem is a warrior, doesn't demand any shots, and plays as hard as anyone in basketball trip-for-trip. But right now he looks worn down by a long season, and, perhaps, limited by his back which reportedly has bothered him since a nasty fall several weeks ago. He can't finish at the rim - he is repeatedly getting his shot blocked, or missing layups. On the other hand, Mike Beasley showed his scoring ability again tonight, making 8-11 shots for 17 points in only 26 minutes. The Nets didn't have anyone who could stay in front of him - he went around Yi like Yi went around the chair in the infamous pre-draft workout tape. One, Mike needs more shots - especially when playing with the second unit, the ball needs to go through him, repeatedly. Two, perhaps it is time that minutes get funneled away from Udonis and towards Mike. He played 26 tonight - more than his average - because Udonis got in foul trouble, I suspect. He got pulled with 5 minutes to go in the fourth quarter because he lost focus on an offensive possession and got the ball stripped. Okay, it was twice - but it was the same possession. Coach Spo is hard core about focus - call a timeout, yell at the kid, fine. But I think he needs to be left in there to make some mistakes and, just maybe, to help win a game.
3) This Luther Head, recently signed by Miami to try to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard - Jesus. 1-6 from the floor, quite a few bad decisions. It seems to me the Heat spend a lot of time trying to replace Chris Quinn as the backup point guard, when the best option, from Dos Headquarters, looks like Chris Quinn. Let's move Luther Head a few seats down the bench for now, please. And make room down there for James Jones.
4) CDR. Big night, career high 17 points for New Jersey, dagger 3 to seal the win. He has a slight whiff of a guy posting numbers for a team that has ceased to care a little, but let's give him a chance, he's just a rookie. Could end up being a scorer off the bench for someone some day.
5) Brook Lopez is so Ilgauskas-like it is almost eerie. One - good shooter. Two - good footwork in the postup game, but very deliberate. Three - never jumps. Four - goober-y looking. Also, good offensive rebounder, keeps the ball high, drops it back in. It is easy to see why he slid in the draft to the Nets at 10 - you wouldn't exactly call him athletic. But it is also easy to see why he is going to be a productive player in the league for a long time - good fundamental skills. And, at the center spot, that is saying something, that makes him a valuable commodity.
6) The AIG thing is bizarre. This is the thing we can all agree on? We are going to take out all our frustration on these guys? We are wasting time on needless legislation to tax these bonuses? Even Republicans are on board with a 90% tax that appears to just be a defacto violation of contracts these employees signed? I, personally, could care less - if people want to throw these guys under the bus, if that is going to make everyone feel better, great. Just seems like an odd waste of energy and resources.
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