6 Thoughts
1) Somehow, I turned a 3:30pm game into a late night West Coast-ish affair - it's 1:30am. Spent the evening in South Beach drinking mojitos, eating Cuban food, avoiding all televisions so as not to see the Heat score, then cutting the mojitos with some strong, strong Cuban coffee for the ride home. Then, drank a Redbull, and watched Miami kill Orlando...annnddd, now I'm wide awake! C'mon, c'mon, get it, get it - I'm on fiyah, I'm up in here! Best record in the NBA! Chris Brown sighting in # 6! Let's go!
2) Dwyane Wade, again, was brilliant in the first half. 19 points in 18 minutes. He dunked in transition. He posted and made turnaround jumpers. He drove the lane and finished over Dwight Howard, around Dwight Howard, and once, impressively, through Dwight Howard for the and-one! He's put up high teens, or better, every first half in this six game winning streak. Came out in the third quarter and swatted a Dwight Howard layup, then blocked his follow, though the sympathetic ref called a foul so it wouldn't be too embarrasing for Dwight. Dwyane last week pointed out that he can't wear a mouthguard, like most NBA players, because he likes to chew gum while he plays. During one break in the action in the first half, M.Minutos and I rewound the DVR several times to try to figure out what kind of gum Dwyane was chomping. M.Minutos says: Trident. Dos Minutos: Bubble Yum. I am pretty sure I am right, if they still have Bubble Yum.
3) Dwyane probably kind of won the game, but KJ James played harder than anybody. He finished with 25 points on only 14 shots, and he scored in every way there is to score. He got to the rim in transition, and in the halfcourt. He got to the free throw line. He made a triple. He went down on the low block, spun in to the lane, and made a little hanger - statistically speaking, if you're in to that sort of thing, he scores more points per post touch than any player in basketball. But even better, he passed the ball well: found Dwyane Wade cutting for scores; found open shooters for easy jumpers. Even better than that, he rebounded: 11 rebounds, many of them in traffic. And even better than that, he defended: contested jumpers; jammed entry passes on the ball, and on the weak side; got his booty down in the lane and bodied Dwight Howard off the spot several times. In general, he shrunk the court and made it difficult for Orlando to run offense. Even though the Magic shot the three well again (11-29), they were only 16-45 inside the arc, for 37% overall (and only 78 points). You are skilled defensively, KJ James, and I exhort you.
4) This game was over when: Udonis Haslem made three straight jumpers at the end of the third quarter and beginning of the fourth to push the lead to 18. For, I believe, the fifth straight game, the entire fourth quarter was extended garbage time. UD struggled with his jumper early, but found it late, 5-11 for 10 points and 5 boards in 25 minutes off the bench. Right now it is Dwyane, KJ James, and then different guys every night. Even Bosh has been reduced to an ancillary part, and I think this works best. Instead of trying to force feed him touches, especially post touches, he spaces the floor, and takes opportunity jumpers, and garbage around the rim. 8 points and 9 boards tonight, and some solid defense staying out at home on Ryan Anderson (only 3-8 for 9 points). As skilled a scorer as Chris is, he isn't as skilled a scorer as Dwyane and KJ - this notion about trying to force enough shots for the three of them has, for the moment, worked itself out to "Dwyane and KJ eat, then everyone else gets leftovers." Personally, I'm fine with it. Not sure how Chris likes it, but if he likes winning, I recommend he stay the course (dad-ism).
5) Okay, last time we played Orlando, I thought we wouldn't play them again until after the trade deadline and that Dwight Howard would be gone. Oops, bad job by me. Don't know if we play them yet again before the trade deadline - I'm not even sure when the trade deadline is, sometime in mid-March, I believe - but it's time to consider what the best options for him and Orlando are. And by "best options for him and Orlando," of course, I mean, "the Miami Heat." He's a very good player, so the best option for us is that they trade him to another league, preferably in another country, like Communist China (hear they love Rick Santorum there). Barring that, I guess I prefer they trade him out west to the other conference, but not to Dallas or the Lakers, because that would be super, super annoying, especially if we had to play them in the Finals. That's problematic, because people believe that he is only willing to sign extensions in those two cities and New Jersey. I can tell you the only thing - the only thing - I fear is that Chicago figures out that they need to move on him hard. They have good young bigs they can trade (attractive to Orlando). They play Derrick Rose and Luol Deng, their two best players, tons of minutes every night, because that is what they have to do to win games (all credit to them - they go hard all the time). But, even though they are absolutely good enough to beat Miami in a series, the reality is that they don't have as much top-end talent as Miami, so it is always going to be tough on them in a seven game series - you wouldn't say they would be favored against Miami, all things being equal, health-wise. If they get Dwight Howard, that evens that equation up quite a bit. It's a big, cool city, he'd playing with another great player - it's a pretty attractive situation. Like all other players, he should absolutely go wherever he wants to - let's just hope that's not Chicago. And in his desire to leave Orlando, I respect him and salute him, because with all due respect, that city is the absolute armpit of the universe.
6) Chris Brown sighting! CHRIS BROWN SIGHTING!!! So my uncle and aunt are in South Beach for the weekend. They are staying at the swanky, celebrity-drenched W Hotel, which, for example, is where KJ James celebrated his decision to come to play for the Heat two summers ago (or was it 100 years ago? Man, time flies). My uncle and aunt are just normal white people, but they are normal white people who like to come kill it at the W Hotel for a few days each February, so, you know...So M.Minutos and I get to the hotel this evening to pick them up for dinner. We step on to the elevator and who steps on with us? Ch-ris Br-own! Fresh off his something win (Grammy?), and subsequent meltdown about how nobody likes him just because he likes to beat the hell out of girls. So, he is leaning against one wall of the elevator (with a few mellow dudes with him), and I'm leaning against the opposite wall. Lanky, good-looking kid, by the way (him, not me - okay, both of us). So I'm kind of looking at him, and he's looking at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't think I would know who he is, since I imagine I'm not exactly his normal demographic, which I assume is "teenage girls who don't mind a good smack." But, like, we're both kind of dudes, so I give him a little nod, and he nods back, and then I'm like, Well, I need to say something, so I'm like, "Hey - you want to have a rap-off?" And he smiles a little and goes, "Battle," and I'm like, "What?" and he's like, "Battle - it's a 'rap battle', not a 'rap-off'," and I'm like, "Okay, do you want to have one," and he's like, "Not really," and I was like, "I don't really either - I'm not that good at rapping, honestly." And the elevator doors opened for my uncle's floor, and M.Minutos steps out, and I tell Chris Brown, "I bid you adieu," and give him an exaggerated royal bow, before exiting. Not sure if that was cool or not - maybe I shouldn't have done that. Ahh, I think he appreciated it. The end!
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Not too sure when the next game is. I believe it is Tuesday against Sacramento. I do know that Thursday we play Linsanity, and then have a week off between games, due to the all-star break! Can't wait for both! Until then, if you need me, I'll be working on my battle skillz, and my two step: I'LL BE READY FOR YOU CHRIS BROWN! OH, YOU BEST BELIEVE, I'M GON' BE READY!!!
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Sunday, February 19, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Heat 111 Cavs 87
6 Thoughts
1) The long slog through middle America is over! Miami finished a 6 game road trip, including a back-to-back-to-back, 5-1, winning the last five in a row by an average of 19 points. Whereas KJ James, and the whole team, looked exhausted while Dwyane Wade missed his 9 straight games with a bad foot (though they continued to win), Dwyane's return, and increasing comfort with the new offense, has eased the load on everyone else, especially KJ, and the team looks relatively fresh and energized. Let's stay out on the road! Who's with me? Not KJ James, who looked into the camera during his post-game interview with Jax and gleefully listed all the areas in Miami he couldn't wait to get back to after being out of town for so long: "South Beach! Coconut Grove! Brickell!" How about Overtown? Yeah, Overtown! Let's go!
2) This game was over when: ummm, probably halfway through the first quarter when it was 21-2. The first quarter, which Miami won 35-14, featured Wade going bananas again on the block, scoring on turnarounds and jump hooks with both hands. Wade is killing people down on the low block right now - he has adjusted and flourished in this new offense, which presents many postup opportunities. Unsurprisingly, postup basketball, which involves equal parts strength, quickness, and quick decision-making, is a strength of Dwyane's. He's easily the best postup player on the Heat (although, KJ James leads all players in the NBA on points-per-postup, so I guess I could be wrong about that - let's just agree that they are both better than Bosh). I can't think of another guard as accomplished on the block as he is. Ahh, Kobe Bryant is better, now that I think of it. Probably. Anyways, Dwyane is using the block to kick-start Miami out of the gate every game: 18 more first half points for him tonight. That is right around his average for first half points on the road trip. I think people don't quite understand how well he is playing right now, because he is barely playing in the second halves, since the games are over at halftime, and his cumulative numbers don't stand out. 22 points for him tonight on only 10 (!) shots, in only 24 (!) minutes! His brief second half stint included his first three pointer of the year, after 9 misses to start the season - he's consciously focused on posting up and abandoning the long ball. He smiled on his way back down the court after finally making one, and moments later, he okey-doked a Cav into the air on another three pointer, earning the foul. As the referees spent somewhere between 9 and 30 minutes to decide whether he would shoot 2 or 3 free throws in a 30 point blowout - valuable use of everyone's time - Dwyane, KJ James, and Mike Miller sat on the scorer's table, right in front of Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, where Dwyane made an impromptu on-mike appearance to talk about his first triple of the season: "It was a long time coming," he laughed, cracking up his teammates, as well as Eric and Tony, who apparently forgot they were broadcasting a game, "I'd like to thank God, and my family for sticking with me..." Thank heavens this was a rare Heat game that wasn't on national tv, because you would have been able to cue the national media talking about how arrogant Miami is in 3...2...1...dodged a bullet on that one!
3) One reason Dwyane has been able to abandon the three point shot is because Miami has so many other guys shooting it so well. Emcee Chalmers, who has spent the better part of the last three weeks campaigning to get into the NBA Three Point contest at next weekend's All-Star event in Orlando, saw his efforts rewarded this week when he was selected to participate (along with defending champion James Jones). Emcee hit three in the first quarter tonight, and 4-6 overall. He also dribbled needlessly between his legs at one juncture, which shocked me because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before. It occurred to me that if you had asked me if I thought he could, I would have said, "Ummm, probably not, no, not without dribbling it off his foot out of bounds." He also threw, to everyone's amazement, a semi-perfect alley-oop pass to KJ in transition for a dunk, but followed it up later in the game by splitting a double-team (something else I don't remember him doing), then airmailing an alley-oop to Wade 9 yards behind the backboard, which Wade somehow got to in midair, flung it down the baseline to KJ down in the corner, ran back in bounds on the other side of the backboard, received a pass, and made an impossible twisting 16 foot rainbow over Cavs center Semih Erden...My prediction for Chalmers for the three point shootout is that he makes every triple in the first round, but is eliminated in the second round when he goes scoreless by fumbling four of the balls off his own foot, misses all the rest of the shots, and then fouls the Orlando Magic intern rebounding the shots down in the lane...
4) Also making shots, these days: Shane Battier. He spent the first month of the season shooting somewhere between 1 and 2 percent. On this road trip, he made 20-29 shots, including 2-2 triples tonight. He's always solid defensively. When he's also helping Chalmers and Mil-lar to space the court? That's when 5 road blowouts by an average of 19 points happens.
5) Random notes: I love Linsanity as much as the next guy - but all I'm saying is that if I was guarding him, I'd make him go left, and get a little physical with him, and that would be the end of the phenomenon...Norris Cole's parents and sister were at the game (he's from Ohio). Jax did a halftime feature on them. They are a very pleasant, but very slow-talking family (like Norris). And, Norris' dad looks exactly like Norris, except with a beard and a hat! Norris in disguise!...From the first quarter, totally out of nowhere, M.Minutos, who started off her writing career at the Palm Beach Post and was a colleague of esteemed Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick, asked me: "Did you know Ethan is married to an Asian woman?" "No - no, he isn't, he is married to a Hispanic woman." "Whatever." Uh-oh - I think someone in Casa Dos may be carrying a little torch for Ethan J. Skolnick! Luckily, I am clearly not carrying one for Heat sideline reporter Johanna Gomez, who does not go with the team on road trips, not at all - the only reason I want the team to get back home to play after this long, long, interminable road trip is because I, umm, like watching the games from Miami more because the lighting in the arena is better! But that's the only reason! I don't need Johanna Gomez on the sideline during games - I still got Jax!!!
6) Narragansett beer. Get it in the tall boy cans. Old, old school. Thank me later. I may have had a few during the game tonight. Christ, it was 21-2 after 5 minutes, I had to do something.
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Heading home for a game against Orlando on Sunday. When is Orlando going to trade this freaking Dwight Howard so that the Orlando games are a lot easier? Selfish, Orlando, so selfish. If you need me before then, I'll be passed out (Narragansett). Bottom's up!
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1) The long slog through middle America is over! Miami finished a 6 game road trip, including a back-to-back-to-back, 5-1, winning the last five in a row by an average of 19 points. Whereas KJ James, and the whole team, looked exhausted while Dwyane Wade missed his 9 straight games with a bad foot (though they continued to win), Dwyane's return, and increasing comfort with the new offense, has eased the load on everyone else, especially KJ, and the team looks relatively fresh and energized. Let's stay out on the road! Who's with me? Not KJ James, who looked into the camera during his post-game interview with Jax and gleefully listed all the areas in Miami he couldn't wait to get back to after being out of town for so long: "South Beach! Coconut Grove! Brickell!" How about Overtown? Yeah, Overtown! Let's go!
2) This game was over when: ummm, probably halfway through the first quarter when it was 21-2. The first quarter, which Miami won 35-14, featured Wade going bananas again on the block, scoring on turnarounds and jump hooks with both hands. Wade is killing people down on the low block right now - he has adjusted and flourished in this new offense, which presents many postup opportunities. Unsurprisingly, postup basketball, which involves equal parts strength, quickness, and quick decision-making, is a strength of Dwyane's. He's easily the best postup player on the Heat (although, KJ James leads all players in the NBA on points-per-postup, so I guess I could be wrong about that - let's just agree that they are both better than Bosh). I can't think of another guard as accomplished on the block as he is. Ahh, Kobe Bryant is better, now that I think of it. Probably. Anyways, Dwyane is using the block to kick-start Miami out of the gate every game: 18 more first half points for him tonight. That is right around his average for first half points on the road trip. I think people don't quite understand how well he is playing right now, because he is barely playing in the second halves, since the games are over at halftime, and his cumulative numbers don't stand out. 22 points for him tonight on only 10 (!) shots, in only 24 (!) minutes! His brief second half stint included his first three pointer of the year, after 9 misses to start the season - he's consciously focused on posting up and abandoning the long ball. He smiled on his way back down the court after finally making one, and moments later, he okey-doked a Cav into the air on another three pointer, earning the foul. As the referees spent somewhere between 9 and 30 minutes to decide whether he would shoot 2 or 3 free throws in a 30 point blowout - valuable use of everyone's time - Dwyane, KJ James, and Mike Miller sat on the scorer's table, right in front of Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, where Dwyane made an impromptu on-mike appearance to talk about his first triple of the season: "It was a long time coming," he laughed, cracking up his teammates, as well as Eric and Tony, who apparently forgot they were broadcasting a game, "I'd like to thank God, and my family for sticking with me..." Thank heavens this was a rare Heat game that wasn't on national tv, because you would have been able to cue the national media talking about how arrogant Miami is in 3...2...1...dodged a bullet on that one!
3) One reason Dwyane has been able to abandon the three point shot is because Miami has so many other guys shooting it so well. Emcee Chalmers, who has spent the better part of the last three weeks campaigning to get into the NBA Three Point contest at next weekend's All-Star event in Orlando, saw his efforts rewarded this week when he was selected to participate (along with defending champion James Jones). Emcee hit three in the first quarter tonight, and 4-6 overall. He also dribbled needlessly between his legs at one juncture, which shocked me because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before. It occurred to me that if you had asked me if I thought he could, I would have said, "Ummm, probably not, no, not without dribbling it off his foot out of bounds." He also threw, to everyone's amazement, a semi-perfect alley-oop pass to KJ in transition for a dunk, but followed it up later in the game by splitting a double-team (something else I don't remember him doing), then airmailing an alley-oop to Wade 9 yards behind the backboard, which Wade somehow got to in midair, flung it down the baseline to KJ down in the corner, ran back in bounds on the other side of the backboard, received a pass, and made an impossible twisting 16 foot rainbow over Cavs center Semih Erden...My prediction for Chalmers for the three point shootout is that he makes every triple in the first round, but is eliminated in the second round when he goes scoreless by fumbling four of the balls off his own foot, misses all the rest of the shots, and then fouls the Orlando Magic intern rebounding the shots down in the lane...
4) Also making shots, these days: Shane Battier. He spent the first month of the season shooting somewhere between 1 and 2 percent. On this road trip, he made 20-29 shots, including 2-2 triples tonight. He's always solid defensively. When he's also helping Chalmers and Mil-lar to space the court? That's when 5 road blowouts by an average of 19 points happens.
5) Random notes: I love Linsanity as much as the next guy - but all I'm saying is that if I was guarding him, I'd make him go left, and get a little physical with him, and that would be the end of the phenomenon...Norris Cole's parents and sister were at the game (he's from Ohio). Jax did a halftime feature on them. They are a very pleasant, but very slow-talking family (like Norris). And, Norris' dad looks exactly like Norris, except with a beard and a hat! Norris in disguise!...From the first quarter, totally out of nowhere, M.Minutos, who started off her writing career at the Palm Beach Post and was a colleague of esteemed Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick, asked me: "Did you know Ethan is married to an Asian woman?" "No - no, he isn't, he is married to a Hispanic woman." "Whatever." Uh-oh - I think someone in Casa Dos may be carrying a little torch for Ethan J. Skolnick! Luckily, I am clearly not carrying one for Heat sideline reporter Johanna Gomez, who does not go with the team on road trips, not at all - the only reason I want the team to get back home to play after this long, long, interminable road trip is because I, umm, like watching the games from Miami more because the lighting in the arena is better! But that's the only reason! I don't need Johanna Gomez on the sideline during games - I still got Jax!!!
6) Narragansett beer. Get it in the tall boy cans. Old, old school. Thank me later. I may have had a few during the game tonight. Christ, it was 21-2 after 5 minutes, I had to do something.
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Heading home for a game against Orlando on Sunday. When is Orlando going to trade this freaking Dwight Howard so that the Orlando games are a lot easier? Selfish, Orlando, so selfish. If you need me before then, I'll be passed out (Narragansett). Bottom's up!
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Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Heat 105 Pacers 90
6 Thoughts
1) This game was over early in the second quarter when KJ James posted up twice in a row at the elbow and found Shane Battier for back-to-back hoops: the first when Battier came up off a staggered screen and hit an open 15 footer; the second when Indiana overplayed the same set, Battier slipped backdoor, and KJ hit him in stride with a fastball for a layup. On the ensuing Pacers possession, KJ swooped into the paint to steal an entry pass, pushed it up court at approximately 90 miles an hour, and found Mike Mil-lar all alone for a wing triple: 40-20 Miami, timeout Indiana, game over. To win three games in a row, on three consecutive nights, against three pretty good teams (and Indiana had two days rest before this one), and they are all blow outs? Happy Valentines Day, Coach Spo - this was the woman of your dreams! Or dude, by the way. Either way is fine!
2) KJ James didn't even look tired. If anything, he looked raring to go - on the first few defensive possessions of the game he got down lowww into his defensive stance, and he stayed there all game long. He was flying all over the court on the defensive end, denying entry passes, jamming cutters, jumping in front of passes like a free safety: he had 13 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals in the first half, and Miami led 68-39 at the break. He dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated on both ends. Dwyane Wade (again had to play only 24 minutes!) had a fairly spectacular first half himself, 16 points on 6-8 (Wade's three first half point totals on the b-t-b-t-b: 21, 16, 16!), but you barely even noticed him. It's not possible to play every game with as much intensity and focus as KJ did tonight - Michael Jordan couldn't; Magic Johnson couldn't...ahhh, maybe - maybe - Jon Barry could, but he's the only one, he's the only guy who could do that. You just hope that KJ is going to be able to play at this level consistently when it matters most - if he does, no one is going to beat this team, not four out of seven times. There are probably only two questions left in Miami's season, actually: one, how healthy will they be at playoff time? Other teams' health won't matter if Miami is healthy. Two: will KJ play this well consistently in the biggest of games. Last playoffs, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. To win for sure, he has to be a little more consistent with that.
3) The stats won't really show it, not really, but Joel Anthony was also everywhere on the defensive end tonight. He took a guy a good five or six inches taller than him, Roy Hibbert (Ribbert), and took him away from Indiana: 5-12 for 10 points. He helped hold David West to a 4-10. He contested innumerable shots at the rim, finishing with two blocks (and several alters). He grabbed 5 boards in 28 minutes, but more importantly, held Ribbert to 5. He also drew a charge when Dahntay Jones careened down the lane out of control, elevated, and hit a perfectly positioned Joel knee-to-upper chest. On offense, he caught the ball effectively around the rim, flipped in both shots he took, and made 3-4 free throws for 7 points. I love you, Butter. Happy Valentines Day to you, too!
4) Shane Battier's shot is coming around. He was 3-3 tonight for 8 points, and also had 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 23 productive minutes. He is sort of learning where his opportunities can come from when playing with KJ James, especially, and Coach Spo pointed out after the game that since Dwyane has come back healthy and become acclimated to the new post-up heavy offense, the ball movement has improved dramatically, and that Battier, along with Mil-lar and Chalmers, can benefit greatly from this...Also, did Shane Battier recognize that the Heat had a foul to give on the last Pacers possession of the third quarter, under ten seconds to go, with the Heat leading by 34 points, and then give that foul? Of course he did - he's Shane Battier! Why wouldn't he?
5) For the third straight night, Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had a lottt of time to fill, because none of the three games were even remotely competitive after halftime. I have to be honest with you, I don't have any idea what the heck they talked about for most of the fourth quarter - I was monitoring Pacers backup forward, hatchet-man Jeff Foster, praying he didn't intentionally injure anyone on Miami (he tried). At one point, I am pretty sure they spent like five minutes talking about former Miami fringe-y backup forward Mark Strickland, who, if I remember correctly, last played for the Heat sometime in the late eighteenth century. Strickland, who was an athletic, bouncy power forward with absolutely no discernible basketball skills whatsoever, also had the misfortune of being the beneficiary of one of the worst Eric-and-Tony-bestowed nicknames in Heat annals, The Pogo Man, probably surpassed only in sheer dorkiness by the time that they incorrectly judged that a professional basketball player, or in this case, Yahkouba Diawara, would like the nickname, Rainbow Man, after his high-arcing, but generally inaccurate, jumper (Casa Dos nickname for Diawara: Thunder Yak, after Dan Majerle, whom Eric and Tony often bizarely compared him to. Greatest similarity? Both human.) Eric mentioned that Strickland still lives in South Florida. "I always enjoy running into him, and every other former Heat player," Eric advised Tony, "except for Ricky Davis!"
6) Okay, okay, okay, I know you want to know what life is like in Casa Dos on Valentines Day. I actually have a nice little evening planned. First, I watch the Heat game, then I write this stupid blog as fast as I can. Then, I eat some cold fried chicken, and drink a glass of inexpensive port (I can only afford domestic). Next, when I have a little buzz on, I am going to watch this Alex Morgan in bodypaint video - yes, Alex Morgan in bodypaint!!! - a few dozen times, then I'm going to crawl into bed, poke at M.Minutos unsuccessfully for a few minutes, then come back out into the kitchen to eat the last of the girl scout cookies: thin mints! Then bed, for some rest, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. Man, the life of a blogging nerd!!! So sweet!!!
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Two days off! Back Friday for a game in Cleveland. If you need me before then, I think you know where I will be. Alex Morgan. Bodypaint. You know.
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1) This game was over early in the second quarter when KJ James posted up twice in a row at the elbow and found Shane Battier for back-to-back hoops: the first when Battier came up off a staggered screen and hit an open 15 footer; the second when Indiana overplayed the same set, Battier slipped backdoor, and KJ hit him in stride with a fastball for a layup. On the ensuing Pacers possession, KJ swooped into the paint to steal an entry pass, pushed it up court at approximately 90 miles an hour, and found Mike Mil-lar all alone for a wing triple: 40-20 Miami, timeout Indiana, game over. To win three games in a row, on three consecutive nights, against three pretty good teams (and Indiana had two days rest before this one), and they are all blow outs? Happy Valentines Day, Coach Spo - this was the woman of your dreams! Or dude, by the way. Either way is fine!
2) KJ James didn't even look tired. If anything, he looked raring to go - on the first few defensive possessions of the game he got down lowww into his defensive stance, and he stayed there all game long. He was flying all over the court on the defensive end, denying entry passes, jamming cutters, jumping in front of passes like a free safety: he had 13 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals in the first half, and Miami led 68-39 at the break. He dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated on both ends. Dwyane Wade (again had to play only 24 minutes!) had a fairly spectacular first half himself, 16 points on 6-8 (Wade's three first half point totals on the b-t-b-t-b: 21, 16, 16!), but you barely even noticed him. It's not possible to play every game with as much intensity and focus as KJ did tonight - Michael Jordan couldn't; Magic Johnson couldn't...ahhh, maybe - maybe - Jon Barry could, but he's the only one, he's the only guy who could do that. You just hope that KJ is going to be able to play at this level consistently when it matters most - if he does, no one is going to beat this team, not four out of seven times. There are probably only two questions left in Miami's season, actually: one, how healthy will they be at playoff time? Other teams' health won't matter if Miami is healthy. Two: will KJ play this well consistently in the biggest of games. Last playoffs, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. To win for sure, he has to be a little more consistent with that.
3) The stats won't really show it, not really, but Joel Anthony was also everywhere on the defensive end tonight. He took a guy a good five or six inches taller than him, Roy Hibbert (Ribbert), and took him away from Indiana: 5-12 for 10 points. He helped hold David West to a 4-10. He contested innumerable shots at the rim, finishing with two blocks (and several alters). He grabbed 5 boards in 28 minutes, but more importantly, held Ribbert to 5. He also drew a charge when Dahntay Jones careened down the lane out of control, elevated, and hit a perfectly positioned Joel knee-to-upper chest. On offense, he caught the ball effectively around the rim, flipped in both shots he took, and made 3-4 free throws for 7 points. I love you, Butter. Happy Valentines Day to you, too!
4) Shane Battier's shot is coming around. He was 3-3 tonight for 8 points, and also had 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 23 productive minutes. He is sort of learning where his opportunities can come from when playing with KJ James, especially, and Coach Spo pointed out after the game that since Dwyane has come back healthy and become acclimated to the new post-up heavy offense, the ball movement has improved dramatically, and that Battier, along with Mil-lar and Chalmers, can benefit greatly from this...Also, did Shane Battier recognize that the Heat had a foul to give on the last Pacers possession of the third quarter, under ten seconds to go, with the Heat leading by 34 points, and then give that foul? Of course he did - he's Shane Battier! Why wouldn't he?
5) For the third straight night, Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had a lottt of time to fill, because none of the three games were even remotely competitive after halftime. I have to be honest with you, I don't have any idea what the heck they talked about for most of the fourth quarter - I was monitoring Pacers backup forward, hatchet-man Jeff Foster, praying he didn't intentionally injure anyone on Miami (he tried). At one point, I am pretty sure they spent like five minutes talking about former Miami fringe-y backup forward Mark Strickland, who, if I remember correctly, last played for the Heat sometime in the late eighteenth century. Strickland, who was an athletic, bouncy power forward with absolutely no discernible basketball skills whatsoever, also had the misfortune of being the beneficiary of one of the worst Eric-and-Tony-bestowed nicknames in Heat annals, The Pogo Man, probably surpassed only in sheer dorkiness by the time that they incorrectly judged that a professional basketball player, or in this case, Yahkouba Diawara, would like the nickname, Rainbow Man, after his high-arcing, but generally inaccurate, jumper (Casa Dos nickname for Diawara: Thunder Yak, after Dan Majerle, whom Eric and Tony often bizarely compared him to. Greatest similarity? Both human.) Eric mentioned that Strickland still lives in South Florida. "I always enjoy running into him, and every other former Heat player," Eric advised Tony, "except for Ricky Davis!"
6) Okay, okay, okay, I know you want to know what life is like in Casa Dos on Valentines Day. I actually have a nice little evening planned. First, I watch the Heat game, then I write this stupid blog as fast as I can. Then, I eat some cold fried chicken, and drink a glass of inexpensive port (I can only afford domestic). Next, when I have a little buzz on, I am going to watch this Alex Morgan in bodypaint video - yes, Alex Morgan in bodypaint!!! - a few dozen times, then I'm going to crawl into bed, poke at M.Minutos unsuccessfully for a few minutes, then come back out into the kitchen to eat the last of the girl scout cookies: thin mints! Then bed, for some rest, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. Man, the life of a blogging nerd!!! So sweet!!!
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Two days off! Back Friday for a game in Cleveland. If you need me before then, I think you know where I will be. Alex Morgan. Bodypaint. You know.
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Monday, February 13, 2012
Heat 114 Bucks 96
6 Thoughts
1) You are in the middle game of a back-to-back-to-back, all on the road, in the cold, against a team off the night before, and you have already lost twice to them. The other team is over-physical, and loves nothing better to grind you, frustrate you, and fling wild triples into the basket at the offensive end. Then you immediately get down 8, because they beat you to a bunch of early loose balls. It is an easy game to give up, to say, "ahhh, whatever," and let it go. But on this night, KJ James and Dwyane Wade decided to grind themselves. And that consisted of them taking turns going to the post over and over. And over. And over. And scoring, and scoring, and scoring, until they had blown the Milwaukee Bucks out, rendered the fourth quarter meaningless for the second straight night, and received extra minutes of rest for the starters. Now Miami goes to Indiana tomorrow for the culmination of the "Cities We Would Never Want to Live In" tour, and has the opportunity to become the first NBA team this season to win three straight, on consecutive nights, on the road, a feat tempered in magnitude somewhat by the fact that most teams get at least one home game in their back-to-back-to-backs. Commissioner David Stern: still trying to give my dad, Pat Riley, the ten-foot pole!
2) Minutes. KJ James: 33. A ridiculous 16-21 from the floor for 35 points, and 8 rebounds. Everything was either a dunk, or a postup. He posted Ilyasova; he posted Delfino; he posted Mbah a Moute; he posted Steven Jackson; he posted everyone, and scored on all of them. That was dominant. Dwyane Wade: after 24 last night, a measured 28 tonight. 8-14 from the floor for 22 points, with 5 boards and 4 assists. Also scored repeatedly from the block, shooting turnarounds over his right shoulder, and little floaters over his left. He wasn't quite as dominant as KJ, but he was the second best player on the court by a mile. Bosh: 30. Chalmers: 22. Rest. To have any chance tomorrow night, rest was important.
3) You know what happens when KJ James and Dwyane Wade are posting over and over, scoring over and over? I mean, what happens on the possessions when they don't just score themselves? Open shooters. Mike Mil-lar: 3-4 triples. He's still over 50% on the season. He also grabbed 8 rebounds in 23 minutes. Emcee Chalmers: 3-4 triples. Chalmers has the highest true shooting percentage - essentially, aggregate points scored per shot - of any guard in the league! And the Heat dropped 114 on a good defensive team, in a fairly slow-paced game. That's absurd. Especially on the second night of a back-to-back.
4) Bucks wing Stephen Jackson, a notorious wack-a-doo, had a typically uneven night. He was 3-9 in 17 minutes, and spent much of his time getting scored on in the post by KJ James or Dwyane Wade, and what little time he wasn't doing that, arguing with the officials. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid lamented that Jackson, "hasn't learned any lessons in his twelve seasons in the league." Annnnd, that's where you're wrong, Eric Reid. I'm just taking a wild guess, but I feel pretty confident that Stephen Jackson altogether rejects your notion of his being a student in need of a "lesson," and would probably claim you need a lesson in "being Stephen Jackson." It's like when the white man came to America and tried to force Christianity on the natives - it's a conceit that presupposes that the native Americans have any idea what you are talking about whatsoever. Same's pretty much true with Stephen Jackson. This is what he's got, E. Reid. You're either with him, or against him.
5) A few minutes later, during the midst of a long, blowout-y fourth quarter, Eric enlightened Heat fans on a particular quirk of his broadcasting partner, Tony Fiorentino: every time they get to a hotel on the road, no matter how late at night, Tony picks out his shirt for the next game, gets out the iron board, and has at it. "This way it dries off and is ready to go the next day," explained Tony. Not sure how much water he is spraying on that shirt that it needs to dry overnight. Anyways, in an almost mind-boggling turn of events, Eric Reid, who on the surface appears to be one of the most fastidious and assiduously prepared human beings alive, lightly mocked Tony, laughing, and claiming, "I just pick out my shirt for the game ten minutes before it is time to get ready." HAAAAAAA!!! So impulsive!!! The chances that this has happened, even one time: 0.0 percent! I am willing to lay HUGE odds that Eric Reid has his wardrobe for the entire season picked out, color-coded, logged into a computer, and packed in a travel bag, two weeks before training camp even starts! This is a man who knows off the top of his head how many dunks KJ James has in February! This is a man who can recall the details of a December road win in Cleveland...in 1997! This is a man who got upset when he was awakened before his scheduled rising time, and thus thrown off schedule, by the "cacophonous roar" of a marathon race in Sacramento last year! He doesn't do anything without a minimum of six days of careful consideration! If this is the kind of lesson you want Stephen Jackson to learn, Mr. Reid - lying to seem a lot cooler than you are - than I suggest that Stephen Jackson find a new mentor!
6) You know JoJo the Tire Guy? From "Bad Boys?" You know, that guy in the commercials who wants to fight you over the brand of tequila you drink? He's like, "Whatever happened to men - they used to be men, now they are girls, and they don't sit around wearing terrible-looking dark suits, like mine, and berate people for the kind of tequila they do or don't like to drink." Yeah, well, whatever happened to him? He was such a nice, young kid, and in "Bad Boys" all he knew about was tires, only tires - oh yeah, and about major crystal meth dealers, but mostly tires. But in the end, he was straight, he told Will Smith and Martin Lawrence what they needed to know. Why is he douche-ing it up in these commercials now? He was on "The Sopranos," right? Was this his character in "The Sopranos," a guy who liked to fight people who didn't drink the same tequila he did? Man, that really, really, really seems like a show I would not enjoy whatsoever...
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Back - again - tomorrow night in Indiana. If they win three in a row on the road, that's a fairly ridiculous feat. We'll see what happens. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking passion fruit mojitos. YEAH, COME ON, JOJO THE TIRE GUY, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, I'LL DRINK FRUITY GIRL DRINKS ALL I WANT, YOU LITTLE BLACK SUIT-WEARING SELLOUT! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!
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1) You are in the middle game of a back-to-back-to-back, all on the road, in the cold, against a team off the night before, and you have already lost twice to them. The other team is over-physical, and loves nothing better to grind you, frustrate you, and fling wild triples into the basket at the offensive end. Then you immediately get down 8, because they beat you to a bunch of early loose balls. It is an easy game to give up, to say, "ahhh, whatever," and let it go. But on this night, KJ James and Dwyane Wade decided to grind themselves. And that consisted of them taking turns going to the post over and over. And over. And over. And scoring, and scoring, and scoring, until they had blown the Milwaukee Bucks out, rendered the fourth quarter meaningless for the second straight night, and received extra minutes of rest for the starters. Now Miami goes to Indiana tomorrow for the culmination of the "Cities We Would Never Want to Live In" tour, and has the opportunity to become the first NBA team this season to win three straight, on consecutive nights, on the road, a feat tempered in magnitude somewhat by the fact that most teams get at least one home game in their back-to-back-to-backs. Commissioner David Stern: still trying to give my dad, Pat Riley, the ten-foot pole!
2) Minutes. KJ James: 33. A ridiculous 16-21 from the floor for 35 points, and 8 rebounds. Everything was either a dunk, or a postup. He posted Ilyasova; he posted Delfino; he posted Mbah a Moute; he posted Steven Jackson; he posted everyone, and scored on all of them. That was dominant. Dwyane Wade: after 24 last night, a measured 28 tonight. 8-14 from the floor for 22 points, with 5 boards and 4 assists. Also scored repeatedly from the block, shooting turnarounds over his right shoulder, and little floaters over his left. He wasn't quite as dominant as KJ, but he was the second best player on the court by a mile. Bosh: 30. Chalmers: 22. Rest. To have any chance tomorrow night, rest was important.
3) You know what happens when KJ James and Dwyane Wade are posting over and over, scoring over and over? I mean, what happens on the possessions when they don't just score themselves? Open shooters. Mike Mil-lar: 3-4 triples. He's still over 50% on the season. He also grabbed 8 rebounds in 23 minutes. Emcee Chalmers: 3-4 triples. Chalmers has the highest true shooting percentage - essentially, aggregate points scored per shot - of any guard in the league! And the Heat dropped 114 on a good defensive team, in a fairly slow-paced game. That's absurd. Especially on the second night of a back-to-back.
4) Bucks wing Stephen Jackson, a notorious wack-a-doo, had a typically uneven night. He was 3-9 in 17 minutes, and spent much of his time getting scored on in the post by KJ James or Dwyane Wade, and what little time he wasn't doing that, arguing with the officials. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid lamented that Jackson, "hasn't learned any lessons in his twelve seasons in the league." Annnnd, that's where you're wrong, Eric Reid. I'm just taking a wild guess, but I feel pretty confident that Stephen Jackson altogether rejects your notion of his being a student in need of a "lesson," and would probably claim you need a lesson in "being Stephen Jackson." It's like when the white man came to America and tried to force Christianity on the natives - it's a conceit that presupposes that the native Americans have any idea what you are talking about whatsoever. Same's pretty much true with Stephen Jackson. This is what he's got, E. Reid. You're either with him, or against him.
5) A few minutes later, during the midst of a long, blowout-y fourth quarter, Eric enlightened Heat fans on a particular quirk of his broadcasting partner, Tony Fiorentino: every time they get to a hotel on the road, no matter how late at night, Tony picks out his shirt for the next game, gets out the iron board, and has at it. "This way it dries off and is ready to go the next day," explained Tony. Not sure how much water he is spraying on that shirt that it needs to dry overnight. Anyways, in an almost mind-boggling turn of events, Eric Reid, who on the surface appears to be one of the most fastidious and assiduously prepared human beings alive, lightly mocked Tony, laughing, and claiming, "I just pick out my shirt for the game ten minutes before it is time to get ready." HAAAAAAA!!! So impulsive!!! The chances that this has happened, even one time: 0.0 percent! I am willing to lay HUGE odds that Eric Reid has his wardrobe for the entire season picked out, color-coded, logged into a computer, and packed in a travel bag, two weeks before training camp even starts! This is a man who knows off the top of his head how many dunks KJ James has in February! This is a man who can recall the details of a December road win in Cleveland...in 1997! This is a man who got upset when he was awakened before his scheduled rising time, and thus thrown off schedule, by the "cacophonous roar" of a marathon race in Sacramento last year! He doesn't do anything without a minimum of six days of careful consideration! If this is the kind of lesson you want Stephen Jackson to learn, Mr. Reid - lying to seem a lot cooler than you are - than I suggest that Stephen Jackson find a new mentor!
6) You know JoJo the Tire Guy? From "Bad Boys?" You know, that guy in the commercials who wants to fight you over the brand of tequila you drink? He's like, "Whatever happened to men - they used to be men, now they are girls, and they don't sit around wearing terrible-looking dark suits, like mine, and berate people for the kind of tequila they do or don't like to drink." Yeah, well, whatever happened to him? He was such a nice, young kid, and in "Bad Boys" all he knew about was tires, only tires - oh yeah, and about major crystal meth dealers, but mostly tires. But in the end, he was straight, he told Will Smith and Martin Lawrence what they needed to know. Why is he douche-ing it up in these commercials now? He was on "The Sopranos," right? Was this his character in "The Sopranos," a guy who liked to fight people who didn't drink the same tequila he did? Man, that really, really, really seems like a show I would not enjoy whatsoever...
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Back - again - tomorrow night in Indiana. If they win three in a row on the road, that's a fairly ridiculous feat. We'll see what happens. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking passion fruit mojitos. YEAH, COME ON, JOJO THE TIRE GUY, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, I'LL DRINK FRUITY GIRL DRINKS ALL I WANT, YOU LITTLE BLACK SUIT-WEARING SELLOUT! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!
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Sunday, February 12, 2012
Heat 107 Hawks 87
6 Thoughts
1) This game wasn't even remotely as close as the score indicated. The Heat led by 12 after one quarter, by 22 at halftime, by 27 after 3, and by 30 with 6 minutes to go. I'd like to take some pleasure in it, but I can't. You know why? No Al Horford. Al Horford!
2) This was the first game of the back-to-back-to-back, and finally the Heat got a big lead and Coach Spo felt comfortable enough to let KJ James and Dwyane get some extra rest: 30 minutes for KJ (a more-than-solid 23, 13, 6), and only 24 (great!) for Dwyane (an aggressive 21, 5, and 3, with 2 steals and a block). Both guys came out with energy - KJ, in particular, pushed the ball as hard as he could early, getting to the line, and creating opportunities for others. For one night, anyways, he figured out if he went hard early, and blew a team out, he could rest late.
3) What the bejeezus got into Chris Bosh tonight? Side note: I'm still long "o-ing" Bosh. I'd make the obligatory "he also only played 32 minutes tonight, although any amount is fine since he doesn't play hard enough to get tired" joke, except, tonight: hard playing! His shot wasn't there, only 4-14, for 14 points, but that was the only weak part of his game. He had a four possession sequence late in the second quarter which went like this: first, he introduced a modification of the "statue defense," in which he gets to the right spot to defend the rim, then stands with arms straight up, motionless like a statue, and hopes the offensive player doesn't step around him and make an easy layup. On a Joe Johnson drive, Bosh got to the right spot in front of the rim, got into the statue position, and then jumped ("The Jumping Statue!"), causing Johnson to miss a wild shot, which led to a Heat runout for a hoop at the other end, which Bosh leisurely watched from the backcourt as if to say, "My work here is done." Except it wasn't done. On the ensuing Atlanta possession, he snatched a defensive rebound, and then swung an aggressive elbow at Hawks center Zaza Pachulia, backing him off his usual "wait-until-the-other-team-gets-a-rebound-and-then-try-to-smash-it-loose-with-a-karate-chop-to-the-forearm" strategy. Then, on the next Hawks possession, he leaped...okay, he jumped...okay, he hopped...into the air, and smacked a Marvin Williams layup away from the rim, leading to another runout hoop. Finally, on the next Heat possession, he rolled sharply down the lane, reached out behind him to catch a poorly aimed KJ James pass, one-handed it, sliced between Zaza and Josh Smith, and dun- okay, power-layup'd - the ball into the hoop, giving the Heat a 24 point lead, and essentially ending the game. A first half double-double for Chris (10 and 10), and 16 rebounds on the night. I haven't witnessed a big man performance this aggressive and effective in a Heat-Hawks game since...you guessed it: Al Horford!
4) Every once in while, someone will write to us and say: "Oh, you never point out when the refereeing is bad and it favors the Heat!" That's a great point, it's almost as if this is a blog about the Miami Heat...If you want to hear someone consistently providing the Hawks perspective, I recommend, "Two Minutes, Y'all." Still, it is a fair point, so here goes: The Heat shot 31 free throws, the Hawks 7. This is an outrage! I berate you, referees! I BERATE YOU!!!
5) Okay, let's address a very, very serious halftime show matter. We are skipping the part where UD read about Alex Haley ("You my family!") for Black History Month, and UD still had braids, almost as if Sunsports had recycled last year's Black History Month readings. Let's get to the part when, after assistant coach David Fizdale read about black basketball pioneer Earl Lloyd (on tape, from an undetermined date and location), he was interviewed just before the start of the second half by Sunsports host Jason Jackson. Now, Coach Loc, as we like to call him (he doesn't look like Tone Loc, not exactly, but he's a Tone Loc type), seems bright and affable, and gives good information during these interviews. He's certainly more likable during these segments than Heat assistant Ron Rothstein, who as we have noted in this space before, once intentionally lost a game while serving as interim head coach, a transgression for which I have never forgiven him. However, he's not nearly as popular as assistant Keith Askins. You know why? No catch phrase! Coach 'Skines ends every interview with Jax with a soulful, "Right on!" What does Coach Loc end with? Usually, "Thank you," or sometimes, "thanks," or maybe, "okay." Coach Loc needs a catch phrase! Something to generate a little buzz around his halftime interviews - you know, create a little brand for himself. Here are some suggestions that M.Minutos and I came up with quickly - feel free to take any of these, Coach Loc: "True Dat!" "Over and out, Jax!" "Mmmm-hmmmm!" "You damn skippy!" "Stay black!" "I'm electric, and if you touch me, you might get shocked!" "Hey Ya!" "Roger that, Captain!" "Fo' shizzle!" "How u?"
6) With Ruffles and Pringles so readily available, who would ever eat Lays? Blecchhhh.
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Back tomorrow night for a road game against the very best team in the NBA, at least against us, the Milwaukee Bucks. If you need me before then, I'll be working on my own brand, with my new catch phrase: "Who wants to bleep Dos Minutos?!!!"
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1) This game wasn't even remotely as close as the score indicated. The Heat led by 12 after one quarter, by 22 at halftime, by 27 after 3, and by 30 with 6 minutes to go. I'd like to take some pleasure in it, but I can't. You know why? No Al Horford. Al Horford!
2) This was the first game of the back-to-back-to-back, and finally the Heat got a big lead and Coach Spo felt comfortable enough to let KJ James and Dwyane get some extra rest: 30 minutes for KJ (a more-than-solid 23, 13, 6), and only 24 (great!) for Dwyane (an aggressive 21, 5, and 3, with 2 steals and a block). Both guys came out with energy - KJ, in particular, pushed the ball as hard as he could early, getting to the line, and creating opportunities for others. For one night, anyways, he figured out if he went hard early, and blew a team out, he could rest late.
3) What the bejeezus got into Chris Bosh tonight? Side note: I'm still long "o-ing" Bosh. I'd make the obligatory "he also only played 32 minutes tonight, although any amount is fine since he doesn't play hard enough to get tired" joke, except, tonight: hard playing! His shot wasn't there, only 4-14, for 14 points, but that was the only weak part of his game. He had a four possession sequence late in the second quarter which went like this: first, he introduced a modification of the "statue defense," in which he gets to the right spot to defend the rim, then stands with arms straight up, motionless like a statue, and hopes the offensive player doesn't step around him and make an easy layup. On a Joe Johnson drive, Bosh got to the right spot in front of the rim, got into the statue position, and then jumped ("The Jumping Statue!"), causing Johnson to miss a wild shot, which led to a Heat runout for a hoop at the other end, which Bosh leisurely watched from the backcourt as if to say, "My work here is done." Except it wasn't done. On the ensuing Atlanta possession, he snatched a defensive rebound, and then swung an aggressive elbow at Hawks center Zaza Pachulia, backing him off his usual "wait-until-the-other-team-gets-a-rebound-and-then-try-to-smash-it-loose-with-a-karate-chop-to-the-forearm" strategy. Then, on the next Hawks possession, he leaped...okay, he jumped...okay, he hopped...into the air, and smacked a Marvin Williams layup away from the rim, leading to another runout hoop. Finally, on the next Heat possession, he rolled sharply down the lane, reached out behind him to catch a poorly aimed KJ James pass, one-handed it, sliced between Zaza and Josh Smith, and dun- okay, power-layup'd - the ball into the hoop, giving the Heat a 24 point lead, and essentially ending the game. A first half double-double for Chris (10 and 10), and 16 rebounds on the night. I haven't witnessed a big man performance this aggressive and effective in a Heat-Hawks game since...you guessed it: Al Horford!
4) Every once in while, someone will write to us and say: "Oh, you never point out when the refereeing is bad and it favors the Heat!" That's a great point, it's almost as if this is a blog about the Miami Heat...If you want to hear someone consistently providing the Hawks perspective, I recommend, "Two Minutes, Y'all." Still, it is a fair point, so here goes: The Heat shot 31 free throws, the Hawks 7. This is an outrage! I berate you, referees! I BERATE YOU!!!
5) Okay, let's address a very, very serious halftime show matter. We are skipping the part where UD read about Alex Haley ("You my family!") for Black History Month, and UD still had braids, almost as if Sunsports had recycled last year's Black History Month readings. Let's get to the part when, after assistant coach David Fizdale read about black basketball pioneer Earl Lloyd (on tape, from an undetermined date and location), he was interviewed just before the start of the second half by Sunsports host Jason Jackson. Now, Coach Loc, as we like to call him (he doesn't look like Tone Loc, not exactly, but he's a Tone Loc type), seems bright and affable, and gives good information during these interviews. He's certainly more likable during these segments than Heat assistant Ron Rothstein, who as we have noted in this space before, once intentionally lost a game while serving as interim head coach, a transgression for which I have never forgiven him. However, he's not nearly as popular as assistant Keith Askins. You know why? No catch phrase! Coach 'Skines ends every interview with Jax with a soulful, "Right on!" What does Coach Loc end with? Usually, "Thank you," or sometimes, "thanks," or maybe, "okay." Coach Loc needs a catch phrase! Something to generate a little buzz around his halftime interviews - you know, create a little brand for himself. Here are some suggestions that M.Minutos and I came up with quickly - feel free to take any of these, Coach Loc: "True Dat!" "Over and out, Jax!" "Mmmm-hmmmm!" "You damn skippy!" "Stay black!" "I'm electric, and if you touch me, you might get shocked!" "Hey Ya!" "Roger that, Captain!" "Fo' shizzle!" "How u?"
6) With Ruffles and Pringles so readily available, who would ever eat Lays? Blecchhhh.
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Back tomorrow night for a road game against the very best team in the NBA, at least against us, the Milwaukee Bucks. If you need me before then, I'll be working on my own brand, with my new catch phrase: "Who wants to bleep Dos Minutos?!!!"
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Friday, February 10, 2012
Heat 106 Wizards 89
6 Thoughts
1) I'd like to say that any player on the Heat team other than Shane Battier had anything to do with this win, but, honestly, they didn't. The Heat (and the Wizards) sleepwalked through three quarters, and Miami led by 7. In the fourth quarter, Coach Spo started Battier, Mike Mil-lar, Norris Cole, UD, and Bosh. AND BATTIER WENT CRAZY, TIPPING BALLS, STARTING BREAKS, MAKING SPOT UP THREES, GOING BACK DOOR FOR LAYUPS, AND THEN, WHEN HE WAS REALLY, REALLY FEELING IT, TOOK NICK YOUNG INTO THE POST, BACKED HIM IN FOR SEVENTEEN SECONDS, ALLOWING ME TIME TO TELL M.MINUTOS 'HERE COMES THE DORKY HOOK SHOT,' AND THEN DROPPED THE DORKY HOOK SHOT RIGHT IN!!!! TEN QUICK POINTS, HEAT RAGED OUT TO A 17 POINT LEAD, BALLGAME, PUT ON THE FULL-BODY COMPRESSION SUIT, CRANK UP THE JIMMY BUFFETT, GET OUT OF TOWN!!! THANK YOU, MR. BATTIER!!!!!!
2) Or, in calmer terms, 6-9 (3-6 triples) - 15 points and 5 boards in 23 minutes for Battman.
3) For the second or third straight game, KJ James was in an absolute sleepwalk. I've never seen anyone look so tired on a basketball court. He looks completely out of gas to me. Finished 6-14 from the floor for 18 points, with 9 assists, but only 2 rebounds. And there were a lot of rebounds to be had - the Wizards (38% for the game) aren't exactly a bunch of dead eye marksmen. Because the bench put the game away early, KJ only played 33 minutes, which is good. Dwyane, who scored 26 on 11-18, only played 31, and he looked tired, too. On one play in the third quarter, he pushed the ball up the court in transition, got stripped from behind by John Wall, then turned around and watched the other 9 players go back the other way, like he couldn't imagine having to run full-speed back. It's frustrating to watch...
4)...But you know what? It's isn't just KJ and Dwyane, and not just Coach Spo grinding them into the ground. Check out these final scores from around the league tonight: Clippers 78-Sixers 77; Raptors 86-Celtics 74; Hawks 89-Magic 87 (in ot); Hornets 94-Blazers 86; Knicks 92-Lakers 85. These are low, low scores. Everyone all around the league is tired all the time. The Heat were terrible tonight - except for Shane Battier - and they killed this team. Yes, the Wizards are bad, but they were at home, with one of their only decent crowds of the year, and they jogged around with the same minimal effort that the Heat did. Thanks a lot, David Stern! Thanks to your stupid lockout, the quality of basketball is weak - appreciate it!
5) Play of the game: there were a few to choose from. Dwyane Wade had a ridiculous spinning 360 degree floater over a vaguely engaged JaVale McGee; Chris Bosh had a tip dunk that he totally whiffed off the front iron, but bounced up in the air and went in; and Emcee Chalmers returned after a night off with a sore hand and committed a turnover approximately 4 seconds into the game - he's back! But I'm going to have to go with the play in the fourth quarter when KJ James received a pass out on the perimeter, and got whacked so hard in the head by a Wizard that it knocked his headband off. KJ looked over at the referee Tony Brown in disgust, since no foul was called - why would it be a foul, a guy only hit another guy in the head and knocked off his headband? - whereupon Brown shrugged sheepishly, then went over and picked KJ's headband up off the court, and spent the next few possession running up and down the court with it! Good idea - why worry about reffing the game? Make sure you keep that headband clean!
6) Finally got to watch "Drive" in its entirety. This was a fine film. It is an edgy story about the seedier side of Los Angeles, far away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. It stars the always excellent Albert Brooks as a sleazy low-level mobster, and Walter White from "Breaking Bad" as a hard-luck mechanic. About three minutes in, you start feeling uneasy, a total "I don't like the direction this is going" feeling, and it never lets up. Awesome tension and drama. Anything else? Hmmm, let me think for second, did I forget anything important about this movie? Oh, yes: YEAHHHHHH, GET IT RYAN GOSLING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO BE IN A MOVIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE COOL AS SHIT AND WHEN ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU, JUST GIVE A VAGUE, KNOWING, WORLD-WEARY SMILE AND DON'T SAY A WORD! YEAHHHH, ILL!! AS!!! SHIT!!! ON A SCALE OF 1-10, I GIVE THE MOVIE A 100, AND I GIVE RYAN GOSLING A 1000!!!!!!!
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Next up is the worst stretch on the schedule: three straight games on the road, beginning Sunday in Atlanta (followed by Milwaukee Monday, and Indiana Tuesday). If you need me before then, I'll be chilling so hard like Gosling, and if someone asks me if I want, like, a glass of water, I'll pause for like nine seconds, smile wearily with a far away look in my eyes, and say nothing. Maybe - maybe - I'll say softly, "okay." But only maybe, if I feel like it. See you Sunday. Maybe. If I feel like it.
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1) I'd like to say that any player on the Heat team other than Shane Battier had anything to do with this win, but, honestly, they didn't. The Heat (and the Wizards) sleepwalked through three quarters, and Miami led by 7. In the fourth quarter, Coach Spo started Battier, Mike Mil-lar, Norris Cole, UD, and Bosh. AND BATTIER WENT CRAZY, TIPPING BALLS, STARTING BREAKS, MAKING SPOT UP THREES, GOING BACK DOOR FOR LAYUPS, AND THEN, WHEN HE WAS REALLY, REALLY FEELING IT, TOOK NICK YOUNG INTO THE POST, BACKED HIM IN FOR SEVENTEEN SECONDS, ALLOWING ME TIME TO TELL M.MINUTOS 'HERE COMES THE DORKY HOOK SHOT,' AND THEN DROPPED THE DORKY HOOK SHOT RIGHT IN!!!! TEN QUICK POINTS, HEAT RAGED OUT TO A 17 POINT LEAD, BALLGAME, PUT ON THE FULL-BODY COMPRESSION SUIT, CRANK UP THE JIMMY BUFFETT, GET OUT OF TOWN!!! THANK YOU, MR. BATTIER!!!!!!
2) Or, in calmer terms, 6-9 (3-6 triples) - 15 points and 5 boards in 23 minutes for Battman.
3) For the second or third straight game, KJ James was in an absolute sleepwalk. I've never seen anyone look so tired on a basketball court. He looks completely out of gas to me. Finished 6-14 from the floor for 18 points, with 9 assists, but only 2 rebounds. And there were a lot of rebounds to be had - the Wizards (38% for the game) aren't exactly a bunch of dead eye marksmen. Because the bench put the game away early, KJ only played 33 minutes, which is good. Dwyane, who scored 26 on 11-18, only played 31, and he looked tired, too. On one play in the third quarter, he pushed the ball up the court in transition, got stripped from behind by John Wall, then turned around and watched the other 9 players go back the other way, like he couldn't imagine having to run full-speed back. It's frustrating to watch...
4)...But you know what? It's isn't just KJ and Dwyane, and not just Coach Spo grinding them into the ground. Check out these final scores from around the league tonight: Clippers 78-Sixers 77; Raptors 86-Celtics 74; Hawks 89-Magic 87 (in ot); Hornets 94-Blazers 86; Knicks 92-Lakers 85. These are low, low scores. Everyone all around the league is tired all the time. The Heat were terrible tonight - except for Shane Battier - and they killed this team. Yes, the Wizards are bad, but they were at home, with one of their only decent crowds of the year, and they jogged around with the same minimal effort that the Heat did. Thanks a lot, David Stern! Thanks to your stupid lockout, the quality of basketball is weak - appreciate it!
5) Play of the game: there were a few to choose from. Dwyane Wade had a ridiculous spinning 360 degree floater over a vaguely engaged JaVale McGee; Chris Bosh had a tip dunk that he totally whiffed off the front iron, but bounced up in the air and went in; and Emcee Chalmers returned after a night off with a sore hand and committed a turnover approximately 4 seconds into the game - he's back! But I'm going to have to go with the play in the fourth quarter when KJ James received a pass out on the perimeter, and got whacked so hard in the head by a Wizard that it knocked his headband off. KJ looked over at the referee Tony Brown in disgust, since no foul was called - why would it be a foul, a guy only hit another guy in the head and knocked off his headband? - whereupon Brown shrugged sheepishly, then went over and picked KJ's headband up off the court, and spent the next few possession running up and down the court with it! Good idea - why worry about reffing the game? Make sure you keep that headband clean!
6) Finally got to watch "Drive" in its entirety. This was a fine film. It is an edgy story about the seedier side of Los Angeles, far away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. It stars the always excellent Albert Brooks as a sleazy low-level mobster, and Walter White from "Breaking Bad" as a hard-luck mechanic. About three minutes in, you start feeling uneasy, a total "I don't like the direction this is going" feeling, and it never lets up. Awesome tension and drama. Anything else? Hmmm, let me think for second, did I forget anything important about this movie? Oh, yes: YEAHHHHHH, GET IT RYAN GOSLING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TALK TO BE IN A MOVIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE COOL AS SHIT AND WHEN ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU, JUST GIVE A VAGUE, KNOWING, WORLD-WEARY SMILE AND DON'T SAY A WORD! YEAHHHH, ILL!! AS!!! SHIT!!! ON A SCALE OF 1-10, I GIVE THE MOVIE A 100, AND I GIVE RYAN GOSLING A 1000!!!!!!!
---
Next up is the worst stretch on the schedule: three straight games on the road, beginning Sunday in Atlanta (followed by Milwaukee Monday, and Indiana Tuesday). If you need me before then, I'll be chilling so hard like Gosling, and if someone asks me if I want, like, a glass of water, I'll pause for like nine seconds, smile wearily with a far away look in my eyes, and say nothing. Maybe - maybe - I'll say softly, "okay." But only maybe, if I feel like it. See you Sunday. Maybe. If I feel like it.
-----
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Magic 102 Heat 89
6 Thoughts
1) Well, that wasn't too good. In what is likely to be the last game Miami ever plays against Dwight Howard in a Magic uniform, the Heat came out on the second night of a back-to-back with tired legs, couldn't make a shot, were lazy defensively, and worst of all, had to endure a hot shooting night from the Magic: 17-42 triples! Dang! And M.Minutos fell asleep for the second straight night! It happens - take the beating and move on...
2)...except Coach Spo would not just take the beating and move on. I love Spo; I hate people who make random criticisms of Spo every time Miami loses. Spo didn't lose the game; the players lost the game. But it seemed pretty apparent, to me anyways, that Miami didn't have it when they got down 15 halfway through the first quarter. But okay, they battled back to down 3 at halftime, only to watch the lead balloon back up to high double digits early in the third quarter. When the third quarter ended with the Heat down 16, there is no way in hell Wade, KJ James, or Bosh should have gone anywhere near the court in the fourth quarter. The schedule is insane this shortened season, and Miami was in the first night of its most daunting stretch: 6 games over the next 8 nights, all on the road, with three games in a row at one juncture. This was a night to take a long-term view of the season, to rest legs, and to keep perspective on the most important thing: to be as healthy and as fresh as possible come playoff time. Instead, Miami never made a serious run, and Wade (36), KJ James (39!), and Bosh (37) all played wayyy too many meaningless minutes. That was an error in judgement. I love Spo, but that over-competitive and silly. If I were my dad, Pat Riley, I'd be really pissed.
3) KJ looked exhausted - he could use a couple of nights off, in my opinion. He's earned them. Just couldn't get the jumper to fall at all, and finished with just 17 points (though, in fairness, he had 10 assists). In fact, Miami's only offense all night was the irrepressible Dwyane Wade, who kept ending up one-on-one in space against Dwight Howard, dribbling around him, and dunking the ball - 33 points on 15-24 from Dwyane...
4)...and it's time to say goodbye, for now, to Dwight Howard. The next time Miami plays against him, he'll probably be on New Jersey, or the Lakers, or somewhere else. He's always been a good guy to play against as an in-state rival. He is a great player, he has fun on the court, and has always been a good winner and loser. Miami's usually had good success against him, but tonight his numbers were great: 25 points, 24 rebounds, although if it's possible to have a polite and quiet 20-20 game, he did. Orlando still hopes to convince him to commit to stay when his contract expires at the end of the season, but Howard appears to be considering other options. That's where I come in. I've tried to make this point other times, in other ways, but let's try this one more time, just to help Howard in his decision-making process. Presenting "Dos Minutos' Least Favorite American Cities!" 1) Orlando; 2) everywhere else seems at least reasonably good by comparison! The end!!! Enjoy Brooks Lopez, Orlando - you're going to love him!!!
5) Emcee Chalmers missed the game tonight because he caught his hand on a jersey last night and injured it. Or, as we like to call it here at Dos Minutos, "The Mike Mil-lar." Then, tonight in the second half, guess who else came up with a "Mike Mil-lar?" That's right, you guessed it, obviously: Mike Mil-lar!!! Luckily, KJ James also seemed to lightly sprain his ankle during some meaningless fourth quarter minutes. Here we go with the injuries again!
6) Santorum on the climb! Rick Santorum is charging, and guess who was lucky enough to see about three minutes of one of his stump speeches the other day? Yes, sir, the biggest Milt Romney fan on the planet - me. That's probably pretty faint praise, by the way - not sure how many big Milt Romney fans are out there right now. Anyways, Santorum had an awesome little meeting, from what I saw. "Your choice in this election comes down to two things," he shouted, in what sounded like his campaign catch phrase, "One: do you absolutely fear and despise gay people? And, two: do you want everybody in our country to have to conform to the exact same social values, like they do in Communist China?" That is a "yes" and "even yesser" for me! Better, then he held an auction for his tie! Like, literally, he took off his tacky-looking, shiny red tie (red - like a Communist!!!), signed the back of it, then planned to auction it off to raise money for charity, or his campaign, or for straight people, or something. Wow - what an opportunity! I would like to start the bidding at "You-pay-me-$200-to-take-that-fashion-mistake-off-your-hands-and-throw-it-in-the-trash!" Santorum fever - it's catching (like, maybe - just maybe - homosexuality, if you spend too much time around gay people)!!! Watch out!!!
---
We'll be back Friday for a game in Washington against the Bullards. This is, of course, BH and Taz' favorite team, and I can only pray that they can pull themselves away from their umpteenth viewing of "Death to Smoochy" long enough to attend this game. If you need me before then, I'll be auctioning off my summer-y, pink and blue madras tie over at the Five Guys on Congress Avenue, just south of Gateway in Boynton Beach. See you Friday!
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1) Well, that wasn't too good. In what is likely to be the last game Miami ever plays against Dwight Howard in a Magic uniform, the Heat came out on the second night of a back-to-back with tired legs, couldn't make a shot, were lazy defensively, and worst of all, had to endure a hot shooting night from the Magic: 17-42 triples! Dang! And M.Minutos fell asleep for the second straight night! It happens - take the beating and move on...
2)...except Coach Spo would not just take the beating and move on. I love Spo; I hate people who make random criticisms of Spo every time Miami loses. Spo didn't lose the game; the players lost the game. But it seemed pretty apparent, to me anyways, that Miami didn't have it when they got down 15 halfway through the first quarter. But okay, they battled back to down 3 at halftime, only to watch the lead balloon back up to high double digits early in the third quarter. When the third quarter ended with the Heat down 16, there is no way in hell Wade, KJ James, or Bosh should have gone anywhere near the court in the fourth quarter. The schedule is insane this shortened season, and Miami was in the first night of its most daunting stretch: 6 games over the next 8 nights, all on the road, with three games in a row at one juncture. This was a night to take a long-term view of the season, to rest legs, and to keep perspective on the most important thing: to be as healthy and as fresh as possible come playoff time. Instead, Miami never made a serious run, and Wade (36), KJ James (39!), and Bosh (37) all played wayyy too many meaningless minutes. That was an error in judgement. I love Spo, but that over-competitive and silly. If I were my dad, Pat Riley, I'd be really pissed.
3) KJ looked exhausted - he could use a couple of nights off, in my opinion. He's earned them. Just couldn't get the jumper to fall at all, and finished with just 17 points (though, in fairness, he had 10 assists). In fact, Miami's only offense all night was the irrepressible Dwyane Wade, who kept ending up one-on-one in space against Dwight Howard, dribbling around him, and dunking the ball - 33 points on 15-24 from Dwyane...
4)...and it's time to say goodbye, for now, to Dwight Howard. The next time Miami plays against him, he'll probably be on New Jersey, or the Lakers, or somewhere else. He's always been a good guy to play against as an in-state rival. He is a great player, he has fun on the court, and has always been a good winner and loser. Miami's usually had good success against him, but tonight his numbers were great: 25 points, 24 rebounds, although if it's possible to have a polite and quiet 20-20 game, he did. Orlando still hopes to convince him to commit to stay when his contract expires at the end of the season, but Howard appears to be considering other options. That's where I come in. I've tried to make this point other times, in other ways, but let's try this one more time, just to help Howard in his decision-making process. Presenting "Dos Minutos' Least Favorite American Cities!" 1) Orlando; 2) everywhere else seems at least reasonably good by comparison! The end!!! Enjoy Brooks Lopez, Orlando - you're going to love him!!!
5) Emcee Chalmers missed the game tonight because he caught his hand on a jersey last night and injured it. Or, as we like to call it here at Dos Minutos, "The Mike Mil-lar." Then, tonight in the second half, guess who else came up with a "Mike Mil-lar?" That's right, you guessed it, obviously: Mike Mil-lar!!! Luckily, KJ James also seemed to lightly sprain his ankle during some meaningless fourth quarter minutes. Here we go with the injuries again!
6) Santorum on the climb! Rick Santorum is charging, and guess who was lucky enough to see about three minutes of one of his stump speeches the other day? Yes, sir, the biggest Milt Romney fan on the planet - me. That's probably pretty faint praise, by the way - not sure how many big Milt Romney fans are out there right now. Anyways, Santorum had an awesome little meeting, from what I saw. "Your choice in this election comes down to two things," he shouted, in what sounded like his campaign catch phrase, "One: do you absolutely fear and despise gay people? And, two: do you want everybody in our country to have to conform to the exact same social values, like they do in Communist China?" That is a "yes" and "even yesser" for me! Better, then he held an auction for his tie! Like, literally, he took off his tacky-looking, shiny red tie (red - like a Communist!!!), signed the back of it, then planned to auction it off to raise money for charity, or his campaign, or for straight people, or something. Wow - what an opportunity! I would like to start the bidding at "You-pay-me-$200-to-take-that-fashion-mistake-off-your-hands-and-throw-it-in-the-trash!" Santorum fever - it's catching (like, maybe - just maybe - homosexuality, if you spend too much time around gay people)!!! Watch out!!!
---
We'll be back Friday for a game in Washington against the Bullards. This is, of course, BH and Taz' favorite team, and I can only pray that they can pull themselves away from their umpteenth viewing of "Death to Smoochy" long enough to attend this game. If you need me before then, I'll be auctioning off my summer-y, pink and blue madras tie over at the Five Guys on Congress Avenue, just south of Gateway in Boynton Beach. See you Friday!
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