Sunday, December 27, 2009

Heat 114 Pacers 80

6 Thoughts

1) Goodness. These Pacers aren't too good. Miami led by 13 after a quarter, by 22 at the half, and by 38 after 3. Holy smokes. Not much to say, and it's late - after the Heat game I just watched the Cowboys - and Wade Phillips! - enter the playoffs. I'm sure that's going to have a happy ending!

2) Pacers rookie forward Tyler Hansbrough with the odd double-double: 10 points on 10-10 from the line, while going 0-5 from the floor, with 10 rebounds. I guess you could him the "bright" spot. I guess. If you had to. He plays hard, but obviously struggles athletically: he is shooting under 38% from the floor on the year, and in the game previous to tonight's, against Atlanta, he had 6 shots blocked. That's tough to do. Also, had the rare distinction of the land-locked Jermaine O'Neal jumping over him for a rebound tonight, and was floored late by a Jamal Magloire elbow in garbage time. Tyler was doing it all tonight!

3) Carlos Arroyo continues to start at the point, and with Miami playing better since he replaced Chalmers, that doesn't look to end any time soon. Chalmers is the peskier defensive player, but Arroyo is better at probing offensively with the dribble, and distorting the defense. Chalmers hasn't particularly distinguished himself with the second unit, but he can get his own shot, so he is potentially an asset with that group. Arroyo has had just one turnover in his last 9 games, finds people in rhythm, and is making the occasional mid-range jumper. Right now he's helping the offense, and the change has been a good one.

4) Dwyane Wade had 25 points in 28 minutes, and Jermaine O'Neal, finally finding some "I-Hate-What-They-Did-To-Me" mojo against his former team, had 19 in 19 minutes. At one point in the second quarter, the Pacers had 32 points, total, and Wade and O'Neal had 32 points themselves. Let's just say the Pacers are not strong.

5) Okay, the game stunk, so let's instead promote the world's greatest musician, Scott Miller, formerly of TMAR ("Jeff Jeffrey Jeff"), and his new project:

Who sang the greatest duet of all time: Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton? Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand? Frank Sinatra and Nancy Sinatra? May we respectfully suggest that it was Big Bill and Scott, who trade off vocals on this raucous real-life account of Nazi trouble next door? We'll let you judge for yourself. Here, at long last, is the follow-up to the hit single "Big Bill":

"My Neighbor is a Nazi"

Enjoy responsibly!

6) Finally, what were the odds that someone was going to email me to complain that every other Clapton era besides Derek and the Dominos did not suck? And what were the odds that "someone's" name was going to be "The Captain?" I think that Vegas took that bet off the board as too one-sided. Here we go. As always, we've cleaned up the grammar, and tried to remove the more offensive slurs:

Dear Sir,
With regard to the Eric Clapton comments: have you ever heard of Cream? Clapton leads one of the greatest acid rock bands of all-time - supported by Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker - possibly the best 3 man band in history, and you believe they completely suck? Oh wait, Cream's hey day was before your storied birth. That explains it. I'm surprised that Jerome [Dos' father in-law] didn't point out to you the greatness of Cream, but maybe you just weren't listening. "Crossroads" and "Whiteroom" and "Sunshine of Your Love" are on everyone's greatest classic rock hits of all time except yours. Sir, it may be time for you to reconsider your taste in music. Billy Corgan couldn't hold Eric Clapton's jockstrap, but you could.

Dos answers: The guitar riff from "Sunshine of Your Love" spawned a thousand - ten thousand - crappy stoner rock trios, and its creators should be held responsible. Further, the music just doesn't hold up. The only possible way to listen to an entire Cream album front-to-back these days - even just one Cream song from beginning to end - is to lock yourself in a room, turn off the lights, and get as high as a kite. Hey, wait a minute...