Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Heat 141 Kings 129 2ot

6 Thoughts

1) First rule about Sacramento games: they are always - ALWAYS - entertaining!  Miami couldn't stop Sacramento; Sacramento couldn't stop Miami; and nobody, absolutely nobody, could stop referee Sean Wright!  Wheewww, that was a close one - almost had to put Mike Miller in!  This game was incredibly entertaining, right down to the last play when Dwyane Wade was dribbling out the clock at halfcourt up 12 points with 15 seconds left and Tyreke Evans suddenly and pointlessly stole the ball, charged downcourt, and then missed an uncontested layup - then the Heat threw the ball back out to Dwyane, and he put it down on the floor, and stood on it with one foot for the last 5 seconds while glaring at Evans!  Twelve in a row, 25-3 at home, 41-14 overall: Let!  It!  Fly!

2) I'm just gonna say it - I didn't think KJ James played very well.  I thought he was slow defensively (5th game in 7 nights - it happens), I thought he held the ball too much on offense, I thought he was not decisive on his drives, and he made two horrible plays late in regulation that allowed the Kings to get to overtime: let DeMarcus Cousins strip him on a drive, and took a bad iso fallaway over John Salmons.  Okay, I acknowledge: he scored 40 points on only 23 shots, and had 16 assists, and 8 rebounds, but I really didn't think he was on his game.  On the other hand, I thought Dwyane Wade was great: lively on his legs, quick decisions, and made a huge chase down block on Tyreke Evans in the second overtime that helped put the game away.  39 on 19-28 from Dwyane, with 8 boards and 7 assists.  That's the most points the two have ever scored in game together - funny that one played a little below his standards, and one was terrific, it shows how numbers can be deceptive sometimes.  You know whose numbers didn't lie at all?  Birdman!  He's getting his legs - 4 dunks and 2 free throws for 10 points in 16 minutes.  He makes some mistakes on the defensive end chasing the ball, but he makes those mistakes going 100 miles an hour, in contrast to Chris Bosh, who makes his defensive mistakes going 1 mile an hour.  It's the difference between what a Birdman does and what a Birdman brings (as Chris Anderson likes to say), and what a statue does and what a statue brings (Chris Bosh never comments on this - statues do not talk).

3) Still, the most unstoppable force in this game was referee Sean Wright.  I have never seen anyone referee a game quite like he did tonight.  Halfway through the second quarter, it had become very obvious: if Sean Wright was in the position under the basket, and the ball came into the paint, and someone contested the play, he was calling a foul.  Period. "Defense is a foul," I imagined him telling players, every time they argued.  It was glaring - in Casa Dos, we started laughing every time someone started a drive with him under the rim.  He would literally blow his whistle without even looking at the play: "don't need to, someone tried to play defense."  So, one of the most annoying things about the NBA are fans who push conspiracy theories that the league wants this team to win, or that team to lose; or that only stars get calls, like they aren't stars because they create more fouls than lesser athletes.  These are all bogus and silly...except for the long-running mid-to-late 90s Knicks-over-Heat conspiracy masterminded by the evil David Stern, and implemented by his sniveling cohort "Knick" Bavetta - that one was obviously true, I mean, let's be real!...But I really think the following is true, or at least it was true tonight: because Sean Wright was calling absolutely every play at the rim a foul, when his partners Bennett Salvatore and Scott Twardoski would be under the rim, they felt they couldn't call anything a foul.  Like they realized that if they started calling fouls too, this game wasn't going to end until Saturday.  So this dynamic led to a totally bizarre, but fairly evenly refereed game, on the whole.  For a good long while I felt like the Heat were getting the short end of the stick - for some reason Wright was always under the Kings offensive basket, and they were shooting a ton of free throws.  But it evened up late on a couple of Heat drives, mostly notably when Norris Cole got out of control behind the backboard, jumped in the air, Tyreke Evans intentionally avoided him since he knew Cole was behind the backboard, and Cole threw a pass into Evans' armpit for a key turnover...except Sean Wright was on the baseline and called his 100th straight foul from that position on Evans, who couldn't believe it: "hey, what were you doing in the defensive painted area anyways - I have to call that!"  I have to admit, I wouldn't want to watch this Sean Wright ref every game, but for one night it was super-fascinating.


5) A couple of weeks ago we got an email at Dos Minutos from a PR firm repping Jetset Magazine, which this month featured Dwyane Wade on its cover, although they misspelled his name in the press release - guess those fancy, private school educations aren't everything.  Here's part of the note the PR firm sent us: 
I wanted to pass along a press release to you about Jetset Magazine, a luxury magazine with a $5.3 million dollar average household income is looking to emerge into the Miami market with high end events like a celebrity yacht party and also featuring Miami Heat super star Dwayne Wade on their cover. I would really love your help in getting the word out about Jetset to help increase their readership. They also are looking for new advertisers all the time- this year their focus is on Miami and all the high end luxury products,real estate, and fashion!

Holy smokes, I can't believe this! Last summer, when I commissioned The Captain to do a study identifying potential cross-promotional advertising partners for Dos Minutos, the very first name on his list was Jetset Magazine! His report said that a high percentage of Jetset's readers were already Dos Minutos readers, and that "they really love it when you write about Idaho senator Mike Crapo and pretend that his last name is pronounced like poop, or when you post shaky smart-phone video clips of the Cincinnati alt-rock band Wussy." Ummm, duh? Who wouldn't?...Anyways, I took a look at Jetset's most recent issue, and I really like it, got some great ideas for future blog topics in there. In fact, in an upcoming Dos Minutos I'll be writing a rebuttal to Jetset's glowing review of Ulysse Nardin's new collection of luxury watches, titled "Ulysse Nardin: Not That Much Different From Swatches, Really."
6) Another thing that Jetset Magazine and Dos Minutos have in common: total support for equal rights and opportunities for everyone.  Exciting young Denver Nuggets forward Kenneth Faried recently came out in support of gay marriage and human rights.  Here's part of his statement:
"I have two moms and I love them both very much. I respect, honor and support them in every way. The bond I have with them has made me realize that I want all members of the LGBT community -- whether they are parents, players, coaches or fans -- to feel welcome in the NBA and in all of our communities."

Love this dude now. I don't think you can go wrong standing up for something positive and inclusive. Everyone should have an opportunity to participate in the NBA in any way they want to, or are able to, without fear of being discriminated against, or ridiculed. Except for Russell Westbrook.  
A couple off nights before starting a very busy March, including a lot of road games.  Kicks off Friday at home against Memphis, though.  Only 27 games left - crazy!  Time sure flies you are #Champs!  If you need me before Friday, I'll be living that "Jetset Lifestyle," boy - massage at the Mandarin Oriental with Jax; early dinner at The Forge with my dad, Pat Riley; and a private room at Liv with Dwyane and Gabrielle Union to chill the night away.  Whoops, hope Dwyane doesn't have to leave early to get his rest!...Oh, and trying to think of more fake absurd celebrity encounters for this blog, like the time I called Sammy Davis Jr. the "n" word on a golf course in Las Vegas.  See you Friday, peons!