6 Thoughts
1) Dos Minutos took this game in live and saw the Heat get smoked for the second night in a row. There were open shots for Dallas, sure, which they made. But they also made contested shots, and even accidental shots - on one play big man Erik Dampier rolled to the rim, got stripped by Mario Chalmers, batted at the loose ball, and watched it ricochet in to the hoop. Dallas shot 60% from the floor for the game. That's ridiculous. Or, rather, ri-Dirk-ulous: Nowitzki made 12 out of 14 in an unbelievable shooting exhibition.
2) Old Plumber favorite Jason Kidd now mans the point for Dallas. A little slower, certainly, but still an incredibly sophisticated understanding of the game. In person you appreciate that even more than on tv, as you can watch plays unfold in their entirety, unrestricted by television's limited range. Kidd made at least half a dozen unthinkably good passes tonight, to angles I either didn't see, or didn't think he could make. And he made them look easy, run of the mill. Had he ever become even a decent scorer, it is unfathomable how good a player he could have been - as it is, he is still an all-time great, and it was a pleasure to watch he and Nowitzki have really good nights in person. For a basketball fan, one to remember.
3) If you are an NBA fan, it is always fun when your team turns out the lights, run its team video on the giant scoreboard, and then introduces the players. Even more so on a sold out Saturday night against a rival, and especially when the last player you introduce is one of the best and most exciting players in the game, and an unparalleled Miami icon, with a name easy for Heat arena announcer Michael Biamonte to draw out: "Dwyannnnnnne Waaaaaaaade!" Watching 6 year old O. Minutos lose it with excitement at watching his hero Wade introduced, while wearing one of his approximately thirty Wade jerseys (tonight: black road jersey for O), was another moment to remember.
4) Emotional halftime ceremony in the arena featuring a tribute to Heat players who have won Olympic gold medals: Tim Hardaway, Alonzo Mourning, and Dwyane Wade. Hosted at midcourt by Heat lifetime announcer Eric Reid, who interviewed each of the medalists. Or, so I hear - I was getting ice cream for O. Minutos. Food is expensive in those arenas: two soft vanilla ice creams in a cup? $42.
5) I am sure I have said this before, but I love the city of Miami. It is a big cosmopolitan city, except at the beach! Man, was that a good idea! Beautiful white, brown, and black people, speaking all different languages; beautiful weather; blue, blue water; great music; bright colors; great food; DWade - it's the best. Some day, if I live long enough, I am going to retire there, and spend my days taking strolls on the beach, eating Caribbean food at impossibly cool local restaurants, and, at night, watching Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino broadcast Heat games.
6) Still, it was disturbing leaving the arena and walking through Overtown to the car with O. Minutos. The original Miami Arena, built in the late 80s, was intended to serve as a cornerstone for the development of one of Miami's most desolately poor neighborhoods. For whatever reason, it never happened, and a decade and a half later, the Heat moved to a shiny new arena just half a mile down the street on the bay. Half a mile geographically, but light years economically, with high rise condos and office buildings sharing the waterfront view with the American Airlines Arena. O and I parked in between the two arenas tonight, a block away from the Camillus House, a notorious homeless shelter, and a symbol of Overtown's woes. As we walked by tonight, the shelter was packed with people seeking refuge from an uncharacteristically chilly Miami night. Several were out front, lying on the ground, completely cocooned in filthy old blankets. Those inside in the shelter were seated on rows of benches, with those individuals on the facing bench maybe four feet away from their counterparts - like a jam-packed subway car. There was no dignity to be seen, no real measure of humanity to be afforded any of these people on this night. It was hard not to feel like a bit of a jerk, having just spent a couple hundred dollars to watch a basketball game, walking with a son wearing a $50 Dwyane Wade jersey, getting ready to climb into our warm, comfortable car for the ride home, during which we would be listening to Judy Blume read Fudge-a-Maniac on our ipod. We still, clearly, haven't solved this basic problem of how to provide some minimally acceptable level of existence for all the members of our society, and I spent most of the ride home wondering about how we could have failed at that, still be failing at that, and what can be done to fix it. And I have nothing, except a personal resolve to try to treat everyone, but especially those less fortunate than myself, with respect and care. And then to hope that future generations, like O's (who asked: "what do you mean they don't have houses? That doesn't make any sense."), do it better than we did.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Pacers 114 Heat 103
6 Thoughts
1) Heat absolutely crushed in Indiana, where they have now lost 13 consecutive games, dating back to, approximately, the Eisenhower Administration. Already missing their best defender, Shawn Marion, out for the 4th straight game with a pulled groin, their second best defender, Udonis Haslem, was ejected 9 minutes into the first quarter. Haslem, recently cited by Dos Minutos as the most sensible-seeming Heat player ever (# 2 - Michael Doleac), got into a mild argument with long-time official Sean Corbin, who gave him a technical foul as Haslem was walking away from the dispute. Haslem turned back, and from 20 feet away made a sarcastic-looking comment to Corbin, who calmly ejected him. The Heat's third best defender, Mario Chalmers, managed only 13 minutes before fouling out. Bad times, all around.
2) Uh-oh - the Indiana Pacers, as a show of team solidarity, have all decided to grow moustaches. This is even more of a problem than it seems: they start three dorky-looking white guys to begin with. Mike Dunleavy, in particular, looks like a very thin, very, very gay Josh Brolin with his. Still, he and Troy Murphy combined for 9-14 threes, 49 points, and 18 rebounds. Dunleavy was fantastic, scoring 23 in the first half as the Pacers ripped off 66 points and a 17 point halftime lead.
3) Pacer coach Jim O'Brien, suffering through a tough-luck start to this season, and always a testy sort of fellow, looked absolutely angry on the sidelines moments before the game started. "Preemptive anger," according to M. Minutos.
4) New Heat forward, and Miami-native (like Udonis - and, also - sensible seeming), James Jones is back from his offseason wrist surgery and just starting to work his way in to the lineup after missing the first half of the season. Jones is a professional NBA shooter and defender still looking to catch his rhythm after such a late start. Drew a charge immediately upon entering tonight's game, giving him one more than Dwyane Wade in his entire NBA career. Dos Minutos' research staff has yet to identify a charge drawn by Wade, who eschews trying to slide in front of drivers to draw contact, preferring to try to use his athleticism to block, or at least intimidate, shots. Plus, he takes enough blows on the offensive end that it would be foolish for him to put himself in contact's way defensively. It is a great research project for a stat-head to tackle: how much defensive energy from an offensive superstar is too much - at what point will the team realize diminishing returns from a drop in offensive production? Wade does give up points defensively throughout the course of the game by failing to expend the energy to always attempt to stay in front of his man. Because of his athleticism, he is often able to make up for it with steals, and blocks, and late in games he becomes an excellent on the ball defender. Plumber and I have discussed this regarding emerging Nets star Devin Harris, who has increased his offensive output prodigiously this season, but has also transformed from a ferocious on-the-ball defender to someone who is now being criticised for his lack of effort defensively. There is a happy medium somewhere in between - superstars like Wade find it.
5) The Heat are back in Miami Saturday for a home game versus Dallas. Dos will be making an appearance in person with young O. Minutos, left-handed push point guard who recently led his 6 year old team, also called the Mavericks, to a 6-2 record. Heat announcer Eric Reid pointed out that Dallas last played Wednesday, and is already in Miami waiting for the Heat, and probably watching tonight's game on television in their hotel. Yes, I'm very sure. In Miami, in January, with a night off, loads of money, and South Beach at their disposal. What are the odds any Mavs player saw any of tonight's Heat game on tv? Approximately zero percent? Lower?
6) Checking the mail: an anonymous Dos Minutos reader wrote in earlier in the week to ask, "How much of your blog is just made-up crap?" Umm - pretty much all of it?
1) Heat absolutely crushed in Indiana, where they have now lost 13 consecutive games, dating back to, approximately, the Eisenhower Administration. Already missing their best defender, Shawn Marion, out for the 4th straight game with a pulled groin, their second best defender, Udonis Haslem, was ejected 9 minutes into the first quarter. Haslem, recently cited by Dos Minutos as the most sensible-seeming Heat player ever (# 2 - Michael Doleac), got into a mild argument with long-time official Sean Corbin, who gave him a technical foul as Haslem was walking away from the dispute. Haslem turned back, and from 20 feet away made a sarcastic-looking comment to Corbin, who calmly ejected him. The Heat's third best defender, Mario Chalmers, managed only 13 minutes before fouling out. Bad times, all around.
2) Uh-oh - the Indiana Pacers, as a show of team solidarity, have all decided to grow moustaches. This is even more of a problem than it seems: they start three dorky-looking white guys to begin with. Mike Dunleavy, in particular, looks like a very thin, very, very gay Josh Brolin with his. Still, he and Troy Murphy combined for 9-14 threes, 49 points, and 18 rebounds. Dunleavy was fantastic, scoring 23 in the first half as the Pacers ripped off 66 points and a 17 point halftime lead.
3) Pacer coach Jim O'Brien, suffering through a tough-luck start to this season, and always a testy sort of fellow, looked absolutely angry on the sidelines moments before the game started. "Preemptive anger," according to M. Minutos.
4) New Heat forward, and Miami-native (like Udonis - and, also - sensible seeming), James Jones is back from his offseason wrist surgery and just starting to work his way in to the lineup after missing the first half of the season. Jones is a professional NBA shooter and defender still looking to catch his rhythm after such a late start. Drew a charge immediately upon entering tonight's game, giving him one more than Dwyane Wade in his entire NBA career. Dos Minutos' research staff has yet to identify a charge drawn by Wade, who eschews trying to slide in front of drivers to draw contact, preferring to try to use his athleticism to block, or at least intimidate, shots. Plus, he takes enough blows on the offensive end that it would be foolish for him to put himself in contact's way defensively. It is a great research project for a stat-head to tackle: how much defensive energy from an offensive superstar is too much - at what point will the team realize diminishing returns from a drop in offensive production? Wade does give up points defensively throughout the course of the game by failing to expend the energy to always attempt to stay in front of his man. Because of his athleticism, he is often able to make up for it with steals, and blocks, and late in games he becomes an excellent on the ball defender. Plumber and I have discussed this regarding emerging Nets star Devin Harris, who has increased his offensive output prodigiously this season, but has also transformed from a ferocious on-the-ball defender to someone who is now being criticised for his lack of effort defensively. There is a happy medium somewhere in between - superstars like Wade find it.
5) The Heat are back in Miami Saturday for a home game versus Dallas. Dos will be making an appearance in person with young O. Minutos, left-handed push point guard who recently led his 6 year old team, also called the Mavericks, to a 6-2 record. Heat announcer Eric Reid pointed out that Dallas last played Wednesday, and is already in Miami waiting for the Heat, and probably watching tonight's game on television in their hotel. Yes, I'm very sure. In Miami, in January, with a night off, loads of money, and South Beach at their disposal. What are the odds any Mavs player saw any of tonight's Heat game on tv? Approximately zero percent? Lower?
6) Checking the mail: an anonymous Dos Minutos reader wrote in earlier in the week to ask, "How much of your blog is just made-up crap?" Umm - pretty much all of it?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Heat 93 Wizards 71
6 Thoughts
1) Easy win tonight against the worst team in basketball. Miami struggled for a half before blowing the game open in the third quarter and cruising in for a victory while Dwyane Wade took the entire 4th quarter off. It's always nice to get him extra rest. Heat now a season high 6 games over .500 at 25-19.
2) In the 4th quarter, earnest Heat play-by-play announcer Eric Reid pointed out that the Wizards came in to the game dead last in the NBA standings with a record of 9-35, and then relayed a pre-game conversation he had with Washington's only two quality players, Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison. "I told them the same thing I told Kevin Durant before the game earlier this year in Oklahoma City: you guys are part of the solution!" Wow. That kind of makes it all worthwhile, I am guessing.
3) Earlier in the game, Reid and partner Tony Fiorentino talked about the strange injury odyssey of Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, who now has missed most of the past two-plus seasons with a knee injury. "I would warn him," cautioned Eric, "about how difficult it can be to back from two entire years out of the league." It was unclear what Eric's point was - was he implying that Gilbert Arenas should just come and play regardless of the structural damage in his knee? Regardless, Gilbert currently holds the NBA's worst contract: another 5 years after this one, guaranteed money, at roughly 15 million per year. It is an absolute franchise killer in a league where a strict salary cap prevents you from signing players freely to replace him. Worth mentioning they gave him the contract last summer, after missing the previous year with a knee injury. And it was an extension - he wasn't a free agent, and thus they weren't bidding against anyone. Unfathomably bad management.
4) Heat second year guard Daequan Cook was left out of the Rookie-Sophomore game All-Star weekend, as was Mario Chalmers. Mike Beasley was selected for the rookies. Chalmers can be disappointed but it has been a tremendous year for rookies and not being selected is not a major slight. Daequan, however, has blossomed in to one of the better second year players in the league. He is a high quality NBA defender, is 4th in the NBA in three pointers made (in non-starter minutes), and has knocked down innumerable big shots. The case can be made that he is Miami's second most valuable player through the first half of the season. He is most certainly a better player than Aaron Brooks and Wilson Chandler, who were both selected for the sophomore team ahead of him.
5) You think you know someone so well and then you learn something that makes you love them even more...It turns out that Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino was not only the head basketball coach at Mount Vernon High School back in the day, but also a history teacher. This is a particular passion at Dos Minutos' headquarters. It may be that Tony and I are slowly melding in to one person: M. Minutos has often pointed out this year that we make similar points, repeatedly, moments apart. Thank goodness that, due to the blowout, she was dozing during tonight's discovery...
6) Finally, I read that Ashley Simpson is positively outraged about the criticism her sister Jessica received for her weight gain, on display at the recent Chili Cook Off at CB Smith Park in Pembroke Pines, Florida, not too far from Dos Minutos headquarters. "A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News," Ashley seethed. Two important thoughts on this: 1) Fox News, as always, is totally awesome. First, the Mike Huckabee Show; now this. You really can't bring it stronger for redneck-y white people than Fox News. 2) Jesus! - of all the years I have faithfully attended the Chili Cook Off at CB Smith Park in Pembroke Pines, Florida, I have to pick this year to skip it. I will never forgive myself - never.
1) Easy win tonight against the worst team in basketball. Miami struggled for a half before blowing the game open in the third quarter and cruising in for a victory while Dwyane Wade took the entire 4th quarter off. It's always nice to get him extra rest. Heat now a season high 6 games over .500 at 25-19.
2) In the 4th quarter, earnest Heat play-by-play announcer Eric Reid pointed out that the Wizards came in to the game dead last in the NBA standings with a record of 9-35, and then relayed a pre-game conversation he had with Washington's only two quality players, Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison. "I told them the same thing I told Kevin Durant before the game earlier this year in Oklahoma City: you guys are part of the solution!" Wow. That kind of makes it all worthwhile, I am guessing.
3) Earlier in the game, Reid and partner Tony Fiorentino talked about the strange injury odyssey of Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, who now has missed most of the past two-plus seasons with a knee injury. "I would warn him," cautioned Eric, "about how difficult it can be to back from two entire years out of the league." It was unclear what Eric's point was - was he implying that Gilbert Arenas should just come and play regardless of the structural damage in his knee? Regardless, Gilbert currently holds the NBA's worst contract: another 5 years after this one, guaranteed money, at roughly 15 million per year. It is an absolute franchise killer in a league where a strict salary cap prevents you from signing players freely to replace him. Worth mentioning they gave him the contract last summer, after missing the previous year with a knee injury. And it was an extension - he wasn't a free agent, and thus they weren't bidding against anyone. Unfathomably bad management.
4) Heat second year guard Daequan Cook was left out of the Rookie-Sophomore game All-Star weekend, as was Mario Chalmers. Mike Beasley was selected for the rookies. Chalmers can be disappointed but it has been a tremendous year for rookies and not being selected is not a major slight. Daequan, however, has blossomed in to one of the better second year players in the league. He is a high quality NBA defender, is 4th in the NBA in three pointers made (in non-starter minutes), and has knocked down innumerable big shots. The case can be made that he is Miami's second most valuable player through the first half of the season. He is most certainly a better player than Aaron Brooks and Wilson Chandler, who were both selected for the sophomore team ahead of him.
5) You think you know someone so well and then you learn something that makes you love them even more...It turns out that Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino was not only the head basketball coach at Mount Vernon High School back in the day, but also a history teacher. This is a particular passion at Dos Minutos' headquarters. It may be that Tony and I are slowly melding in to one person: M. Minutos has often pointed out this year that we make similar points, repeatedly, moments apart. Thank goodness that, due to the blowout, she was dozing during tonight's discovery...
6) Finally, I read that Ashley Simpson is positively outraged about the criticism her sister Jessica received for her weight gain, on display at the recent Chili Cook Off at CB Smith Park in Pembroke Pines, Florida, not too far from Dos Minutos headquarters. "A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News," Ashley seethed. Two important thoughts on this: 1) Fox News, as always, is totally awesome. First, the Mike Huckabee Show; now this. You really can't bring it stronger for redneck-y white people than Fox News. 2) Jesus! - of all the years I have faithfully attended the Chili Cook Off at CB Smith Park in Pembroke Pines, Florida, I have to pick this year to skip it. I will never forgive myself - never.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Heat 95 Hawks 79
6 Thoughts
1) Some nights in the NBA are, as retired Heat center Alonzo Mourning liked to point out, a dogfight. Then, on some other nights, one team just doesn't show up. The Atlanta Hawks turned in a stunningly bad performance tonight, going 13 first half minutes without a basket, fell behind by 20+, and never seriously challenged. "We just weren't playing hard," explained Hawk star Joe Johnson. Well, there you have it. Exceeding all preseason expectations, except those of Dos Minutos' most prominent Scottish reader, Miami has now crept to 5 games above .500 for the first time all season, and are closer to the 4th spot than the 9th spot. Can they keep it up? I don't know - how many more games against the Hawks do they have?
2) We've officially stepped through to the other side of the looking glass: Jamal Magloire made his first start as a member of the Miami Heat. He earned his way in to that spot with solid play over the past month, plus, you know, Miami doesn't have a competent player over 6'8". In fact, Coach Erik Spoelstra has just thrown caution to the wind at the center spot and is now rotating Magloire, Joel Anthony, and the heavily, heavily mothballed Mark Blount, depending on matchups, and which one appears to be awake at any given moment. On this night, for the second game in a row, it was almost disconcertingly effective: Magloire had 6 points, 6 boards and 2 blocks in 17 minutes, Anthony 2 rebounds and 2 blocks in 9 minutes, and Blount 8 points, 4 rebounds, and 2 blocks in 19 minutes. That's six blocks out of the center spot. With Shawn Marion, Miami's most effective defender, out for the third straight game, they have needed some backline defense and, against all odds, they have received it from this unlikely trio.
3) Not that it matters, and we love him regardless, but someone ought to tell Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino that Atlanta center Zaza Pachulia's first name is pronounced exactly like it looks, "za-za," and not "Zsa Zsa," like the Gabor sister.
4) Mike Beasley bumped knees with Josh Smith in the first half and never returned to action. Spent the second half on the bench with an ice bag approximately four and a half feet in circumference wrapped around his knee. I haven't seen that much ice on a large black man since Patrick Ewing retired. M. Minutos was distressed: "haven't we come any farther in ice technology since the late 90s? That's still our best solution - dump 30 pounds of ice cubes in a garbage bag and strap it to the guy's leg with an ace bandage?" After the game, Erik Spoelstra claimed he has been telling Beasley to wear knee pads in the games but that Beasley refuses to do so because "eighty percent of the league doesn't wear them because they don't look aesthetically pleasing. Enough already." I have a feeling Coach Spo and The Beas might have had this conversation on more than one occasion.
5) Dwyane Wade, on the surface, had a somewhat disinterested performance, but ended up with 35 points on 13-19 shooting, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks in only 34 minutes. "We just weren't playing hard," explained Hawks star Joe Johnson.
6) Finally, Dos reader Rachel had the following comment in response to Dos' post about stoner albums post-1975:
As someone who knew people who smoked after the mid 90's, I nominate Sublime's 40 oz. to Freedom for one of the best stoner albums of all time. That's just what I heard...
I haven't really listened to a lot of Sublime, but I think it warrants a listen based on your recommendation. Also, this seems like a good time to point out that girls who like to get high to Sublime, or bands of any era, are always very welcome at Dos Minutos. If we can be of any further service to you, please let us know...
1) Some nights in the NBA are, as retired Heat center Alonzo Mourning liked to point out, a dogfight. Then, on some other nights, one team just doesn't show up. The Atlanta Hawks turned in a stunningly bad performance tonight, going 13 first half minutes without a basket, fell behind by 20+, and never seriously challenged. "We just weren't playing hard," explained Hawk star Joe Johnson. Well, there you have it. Exceeding all preseason expectations, except those of Dos Minutos' most prominent Scottish reader, Miami has now crept to 5 games above .500 for the first time all season, and are closer to the 4th spot than the 9th spot. Can they keep it up? I don't know - how many more games against the Hawks do they have?
2) We've officially stepped through to the other side of the looking glass: Jamal Magloire made his first start as a member of the Miami Heat. He earned his way in to that spot with solid play over the past month, plus, you know, Miami doesn't have a competent player over 6'8". In fact, Coach Erik Spoelstra has just thrown caution to the wind at the center spot and is now rotating Magloire, Joel Anthony, and the heavily, heavily mothballed Mark Blount, depending on matchups, and which one appears to be awake at any given moment. On this night, for the second game in a row, it was almost disconcertingly effective: Magloire had 6 points, 6 boards and 2 blocks in 17 minutes, Anthony 2 rebounds and 2 blocks in 9 minutes, and Blount 8 points, 4 rebounds, and 2 blocks in 19 minutes. That's six blocks out of the center spot. With Shawn Marion, Miami's most effective defender, out for the third straight game, they have needed some backline defense and, against all odds, they have received it from this unlikely trio.
3) Not that it matters, and we love him regardless, but someone ought to tell Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino that Atlanta center Zaza Pachulia's first name is pronounced exactly like it looks, "za-za," and not "Zsa Zsa," like the Gabor sister.
4) Mike Beasley bumped knees with Josh Smith in the first half and never returned to action. Spent the second half on the bench with an ice bag approximately four and a half feet in circumference wrapped around his knee. I haven't seen that much ice on a large black man since Patrick Ewing retired. M. Minutos was distressed: "haven't we come any farther in ice technology since the late 90s? That's still our best solution - dump 30 pounds of ice cubes in a garbage bag and strap it to the guy's leg with an ace bandage?" After the game, Erik Spoelstra claimed he has been telling Beasley to wear knee pads in the games but that Beasley refuses to do so because "eighty percent of the league doesn't wear them because they don't look aesthetically pleasing. Enough already." I have a feeling Coach Spo and The Beas might have had this conversation on more than one occasion.
5) Dwyane Wade, on the surface, had a somewhat disinterested performance, but ended up with 35 points on 13-19 shooting, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks in only 34 minutes. "We just weren't playing hard," explained Hawks star Joe Johnson.
6) Finally, Dos reader Rachel had the following comment in response to Dos' post about stoner albums post-1975:
As someone who knew people who smoked after the mid 90's, I nominate Sublime's 40 oz. to Freedom for one of the best stoner albums of all time. That's just what I heard...
I haven't really listened to a lot of Sublime, but I think it warrants a listen based on your recommendation. Also, this seems like a good time to point out that girls who like to get high to Sublime, or bands of any era, are always very welcome at Dos Minutos. If we can be of any further service to you, please let us know...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Heat 103 Orlando 97
6 Thoughts
1) Good bounce back win after getting brutalized by Boston at home. The Heat ease past the halfway mark at 23-19. Last year's team finished 15-67, so, you know, this year is quite a bit better. Once again I can't believe this is the case, but Jamal Magloire turned the game. Drew two quick fouls in the third quarter on Magic uber-center Dwight Howard, the second on a veteran "whoa-this-guy-just-propelled-me-eight-feet-over-the-baseline-during-a-rebound-with-a-light-forearm-in-the-back-even-though-I-weigh-at-least-270-pounds-and-spend-approximately-85%-of-my-playing-time-leaning-on-people" flop. Heat ballooned their lead from 5 to 15 with Howard on the bench, and held on for a victory. The Big Cat threw in 7 rebounds in 22 minutes, and also drew a charge. I am ready to say it: he is playing like an actual NBA player now. Shhhhh, everybody be quiet--don't wake him up.
2) Big night for Mario Chalmers who came out smoking in the first quarter and ended up with 20 points for the game on 8-12 shooting, hit a key runner over Jameer Nelson with under a minute to go, then sealed the victory with a strip of Nelson on the other end. After a rough patch on the road, he's found his legs a little bit, and re-established himself as a positive contributor. Right now Chalmers is one of a bananas number of rookies playing well. Clipper rookie guard Eric Gordon, an afterthought for much of this year, dropped 41 on someone two nights ago. So far this rookie class is deep and talented.
3) In one of the more bizarre moments of this or any season, Magic backup point guard Anthony Johnson fouled Heat guard Chris Quinn three times on the same possession. Reached in on a drive - one. Tried to go over a screen and grabbed his arm trying to squeeze through - two. Tried to block his runner in the lane, knocked him over - three. Then, argued the third call - or maybe all three at once - and was given a technical foul. That's four infractions in the span of about 20 game seconds - all trying to guard Chris Quinn, no less, who has the approximate foot speed of Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange. That was odd. It was a frustrating and testy night for Orlando. Coach Stan Van Gundy was given a first quarter technical, and Dwight Howard earned two, including an ejection with a second to go. It's aggravating to lose to a team whose tallest starter is 6'8".
4) Alonzo Mourning has officially retired. His accomplishments are many, and he will be missed. Most remember him for his defensive intensity, his (at times annoying) muscle-flexing antics, or when Knick coach Jeff Van Gundy attached himself to his leg like a small Chihuahua clinging to a swinging slab of meat. Myself, I will always remember Zo's bench demeanor during the waning moments of Game 6 in Dallas, with the Heat trying to close out the Mavs and become World Champions. Inside of three minutes to go, with the Heat clinging to a slight lead, several bench shots showed Mourning sitting on the edge of his seat, clearly trying to relax in an unrelaxable situation. He had come so far: from foster homes, to a career at Georgetown forged on intimidation (which sometimes incited great negative emotions to be thrown his way), to becoming the leader of a Miami franchise which suffered innumerable heartbreak at the hands of the Knicks, to his kidney illness, recovery, then relapse and eventual transplant, finally finding his way back home to Miami to give it one last try with the Heat. And here he sat, moments from a championship which had seemed like it would never, ever come. And it was everything he could do to make himself watch - he stroked his chin, trying to calm himself and not lose his mind. I could sympathize because I was doing the exact same thing in my living room...Moments later when the Heat won, Zo exploded off the bench in paroxysms of joy. I have never seen him quite so happy, and it warmed my heart. Worth noting in that decisive game 6, Zo played 13 minutes, and had 8 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 blocks, and turned the game around in the second quarter with his intensity. Say what you will about the guy - he cared...Farewell, Zo, Dos Minutos bids you Godspeed.
5) Back to more immediate matters, The Captain had these thoughts on the Tom Cruise-Hitler situation:
If you polled 100 random people and asked them "who would you rather kill: Adolph Hitler or Tom Cruise", what would the ratio be? 50-50? 60-40? If you polled people at a Scientology convention Boca Raton,Fl, would that tilt the scales in favor of the fuhrer? What if you asked Brooke Shields psychologist? What if you asked Katie Holmes? What if you asked John Holmes? I think a typical person (my apologies to any neo-nazis reading this column right now) would rather kill Hitler but Tom is definitely closing the gap. My lovely Captainette thinks he's handsome. So do I, not there's anything wrong with that, but I hate him all the same. Please excuse me now as I'm going to go fantasize that I'm having a three-way with Nicole Kidman and Eva Braun.
The Captain
Well said, The Captain, well said. This seems like a good time to mention that The Captain and I have a long-running disagreement over Nicole Kidman. I find her to be a handsome woman - too handsome. And too tall - I don't like a woman that I feel can potentially overpower me. The Captain calls her "willowy," and thinks I could take her, but why even risk finding out?
6) Some quick initial feedback on Dos Minutos "The Record," vol. 1. (still available for free for the asking). One reader asks: "Didn't you ever get stoned to music made after 1975?" He is referring, I assume, to the inclusion of songs from Dos Minutos' "top three stoner albums of all-time" (Astral Weeks by Van Morrison, Exile on Main Street by the Stones, and The Final Cut by Pink Floyd). Excellent question. Yes, I did. Presenting Dos Minutos' top three albums for getting stoned, after 1975 division:
1) Mama Said, Lenny Kravitz
2) Porno for Pyros, Porno for Pyros
3) Truth and Soul, Fishbone
In fairness, getting stoned ended in the mid-90s (for us at Dos), so there is now a 15 year gap of new music unexplored by this cosmic traveller. One recent album that seems like it would be excellent to get stoned to: The Black Parade, by My Chemical Romance. Also, every note of music ever made by Radiohead.
1) Good bounce back win after getting brutalized by Boston at home. The Heat ease past the halfway mark at 23-19. Last year's team finished 15-67, so, you know, this year is quite a bit better. Once again I can't believe this is the case, but Jamal Magloire turned the game. Drew two quick fouls in the third quarter on Magic uber-center Dwight Howard, the second on a veteran "whoa-this-guy-just-propelled-me-eight-feet-over-the-baseline-during-a-rebound-with-a-light-forearm-in-the-back-even-though-I-weigh-at-least-270-pounds-and-spend-approximately-85%-of-my-playing-time-leaning-on-people" flop. Heat ballooned their lead from 5 to 15 with Howard on the bench, and held on for a victory. The Big Cat threw in 7 rebounds in 22 minutes, and also drew a charge. I am ready to say it: he is playing like an actual NBA player now. Shhhhh, everybody be quiet--don't wake him up.
2) Big night for Mario Chalmers who came out smoking in the first quarter and ended up with 20 points for the game on 8-12 shooting, hit a key runner over Jameer Nelson with under a minute to go, then sealed the victory with a strip of Nelson on the other end. After a rough patch on the road, he's found his legs a little bit, and re-established himself as a positive contributor. Right now Chalmers is one of a bananas number of rookies playing well. Clipper rookie guard Eric Gordon, an afterthought for much of this year, dropped 41 on someone two nights ago. So far this rookie class is deep and talented.
3) In one of the more bizarre moments of this or any season, Magic backup point guard Anthony Johnson fouled Heat guard Chris Quinn three times on the same possession. Reached in on a drive - one. Tried to go over a screen and grabbed his arm trying to squeeze through - two. Tried to block his runner in the lane, knocked him over - three. Then, argued the third call - or maybe all three at once - and was given a technical foul. That's four infractions in the span of about 20 game seconds - all trying to guard Chris Quinn, no less, who has the approximate foot speed of Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange. That was odd. It was a frustrating and testy night for Orlando. Coach Stan Van Gundy was given a first quarter technical, and Dwight Howard earned two, including an ejection with a second to go. It's aggravating to lose to a team whose tallest starter is 6'8".
4) Alonzo Mourning has officially retired. His accomplishments are many, and he will be missed. Most remember him for his defensive intensity, his (at times annoying) muscle-flexing antics, or when Knick coach Jeff Van Gundy attached himself to his leg like a small Chihuahua clinging to a swinging slab of meat. Myself, I will always remember Zo's bench demeanor during the waning moments of Game 6 in Dallas, with the Heat trying to close out the Mavs and become World Champions. Inside of three minutes to go, with the Heat clinging to a slight lead, several bench shots showed Mourning sitting on the edge of his seat, clearly trying to relax in an unrelaxable situation. He had come so far: from foster homes, to a career at Georgetown forged on intimidation (which sometimes incited great negative emotions to be thrown his way), to becoming the leader of a Miami franchise which suffered innumerable heartbreak at the hands of the Knicks, to his kidney illness, recovery, then relapse and eventual transplant, finally finding his way back home to Miami to give it one last try with the Heat. And here he sat, moments from a championship which had seemed like it would never, ever come. And it was everything he could do to make himself watch - he stroked his chin, trying to calm himself and not lose his mind. I could sympathize because I was doing the exact same thing in my living room...Moments later when the Heat won, Zo exploded off the bench in paroxysms of joy. I have never seen him quite so happy, and it warmed my heart. Worth noting in that decisive game 6, Zo played 13 minutes, and had 8 points, 6 rebounds, and 5 blocks, and turned the game around in the second quarter with his intensity. Say what you will about the guy - he cared...Farewell, Zo, Dos Minutos bids you Godspeed.
5) Back to more immediate matters, The Captain had these thoughts on the Tom Cruise-Hitler situation:
If you polled 100 random people and asked them "who would you rather kill: Adolph Hitler or Tom Cruise", what would the ratio be? 50-50? 60-40? If you polled people at a Scientology convention Boca Raton,Fl, would that tilt the scales in favor of the fuhrer? What if you asked Brooke Shields psychologist? What if you asked Katie Holmes? What if you asked John Holmes? I think a typical person (my apologies to any neo-nazis reading this column right now) would rather kill Hitler but Tom is definitely closing the gap. My lovely Captainette thinks he's handsome. So do I, not there's anything wrong with that, but I hate him all the same. Please excuse me now as I'm going to go fantasize that I'm having a three-way with Nicole Kidman and Eva Braun.
The Captain
Well said, The Captain, well said. This seems like a good time to mention that The Captain and I have a long-running disagreement over Nicole Kidman. I find her to be a handsome woman - too handsome. And too tall - I don't like a woman that I feel can potentially overpower me. The Captain calls her "willowy," and thinks I could take her, but why even risk finding out?
6) Some quick initial feedback on Dos Minutos "The Record," vol. 1. (still available for free for the asking). One reader asks: "Didn't you ever get stoned to music made after 1975?" He is referring, I assume, to the inclusion of songs from Dos Minutos' "top three stoner albums of all-time" (Astral Weeks by Van Morrison, Exile on Main Street by the Stones, and The Final Cut by Pink Floyd). Excellent question. Yes, I did. Presenting Dos Minutos' top three albums for getting stoned, after 1975 division:
1) Mama Said, Lenny Kravitz
2) Porno for Pyros, Porno for Pyros
3) Truth and Soul, Fishbone
In fairness, getting stoned ended in the mid-90s (for us at Dos), so there is now a 15 year gap of new music unexplored by this cosmic traveller. One recent album that seems like it would be excellent to get stoned to: The Black Parade, by My Chemical Romance. Also, every note of music ever made by Radiohead.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Celtics 98 Heat 83
6 Thoughts
1) Umm - that didn't go well. Smmmmoked by Boston, got down 20 in a first quarter that seemed to take approximately 3 days to complete. Second quarter saw Eddie House revisit the city of his NBA birth and go bananas: 6-8 threes for 20 points in the second quarter. By the way, he averages 7 points a game. Heat never really challenged in the second half. Got it down to 11 a couple of times, but it was just window dressing. The qualitative difference between these two teams was on display tonight. Change has come to America; but not that much change - Boston is still way better than Miami.
2) Boston was able to enter the ball to the post with the pass, and penetrate to the middle off the dribble, usually kicking out to wide open jumpers. Ended up 15-25 from three. That's absurd. Ray Allen was 5-6, and House finished 7-11. That alone is too much to overcome.
3) And yet, there's more. Boston is the best defensive team in the league. Two intimidating interior presences in Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins. Two savvy veteran positional defenders in Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, who know how to force ball handlers to help. And one perimeter menace in Rajon Rondo. All great defensive teams have one characteristic in common: when the ball penetrates to the lane, they converge - yet, the ball doesn't come out to open shooters. Too many arms, too many legs, too many bodies in the way, and too much anticipation. All great defensive teams look alike: dribblers get swallowed up, and the ball disappears...This is how Boston plays. They are a great defensive team.
4) In a first quarter shot clock situation, off an inbounds pass, Dwyane Wade received a pass, double pumped, and launched a 14 footer from the wing clear over the backboard. That prompted a call from Dos Headquarters to Plumber. Out of deference to the hour, a message was left on his office machine. There is one - and only one - hard and fast rule at Dos Minutos: any time we see a game when someone shoots a ball over the backcourt, we call the Plumber immediately. This hearkens back to our Boston College days together when, one innocuous afternoon, during a pickup game, either Plumber or myself came down the court handling the ball in a two on one situation. The lone defender back in transition was Boston College player Darrell Michaels, a 6'8" backup power forward who had transferred to BC from Utah. Michaels had the approximate game of current Celtic Brian Scalabrine, except that he was approximately 70% less athletic, and 100% less skilled. Did I mention he was white? The ballhandler - again, either Plumber or myself - began to pull up at the foul line intending to shoot the jumper if Michaels retreated, or drop the ball off to the cutting wing player if Michaels looked to stop the jumper. The ballhandler took his eye off Michaels for a moment to check the cutter, then went up in the air to shoot the jumper, intuitively sensing that Michaels had dropped back in to the lane. He sensed wrong. Michaels had jumped all the way out to contest the shot. No matter how unathletic he was, he was still 6'8". I'm 6'1" - Plumber even smaller. For one horrible moment it appeared that I - I mean, I or the Plumber - was going to have his jump shot batted to Kingdom Come by the stiffest Big East player of all-time. At the last instant, the shot was adjusted to account for Michaels' length, and it sailed in a high arc towards the basket. A high, high arc. So high that it cleared the entire backboard with room to spare. After a stunned moment of silence, someone retrieved the ball, and the game resumed. But for Plumber and myself, basketball would never be the same. Let's be honest - it doesn't really matter which one of us shot the ball over the backboard that day. What really matters is that every time it has happened since in a game that I was watching, I call the Plumber.
5) Plumber is optimistic about the Nets' difficult road trip out West, which began tonight with a loss in New Orleans to the Hornets, who were without David West and Tyson Chandler: "I think we can lose every game and get Lawrence Frank fired." It is good to set goals.
6) Finally, an update on the Tom Cruise-Hitler situation. It turns out his desire to kill Hitler is not a recent development. Not at all. From MSNBC.com:
Cruise says he grew up wanting to kill Hitler
‘Valkyrie’ star inspired by those who tried to take down Nazi leader
I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him," the Hollywood star of such major blockbusters as "Top Gun" and "Mission Impossible," told the press during a visit to Seoul to promote his latest film.
"As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, why didn't someone stand up and try to stop it?
Some kids grow up loving Scooby Doo and making mud pies. Not young Tom Cruise, who grew up with an absolute passion for murdering already-dead, totalitarian dictators. I mean, along with his passion for criticising women who are suffering from post-partum depression. Oh, and his hatred of kids who take Ritalin...I can't wait for his next movie where he goes back in time and tries to take out Red Auerbach...
1) Umm - that didn't go well. Smmmmoked by Boston, got down 20 in a first quarter that seemed to take approximately 3 days to complete. Second quarter saw Eddie House revisit the city of his NBA birth and go bananas: 6-8 threes for 20 points in the second quarter. By the way, he averages 7 points a game. Heat never really challenged in the second half. Got it down to 11 a couple of times, but it was just window dressing. The qualitative difference between these two teams was on display tonight. Change has come to America; but not that much change - Boston is still way better than Miami.
2) Boston was able to enter the ball to the post with the pass, and penetrate to the middle off the dribble, usually kicking out to wide open jumpers. Ended up 15-25 from three. That's absurd. Ray Allen was 5-6, and House finished 7-11. That alone is too much to overcome.
3) And yet, there's more. Boston is the best defensive team in the league. Two intimidating interior presences in Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins. Two savvy veteran positional defenders in Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, who know how to force ball handlers to help. And one perimeter menace in Rajon Rondo. All great defensive teams have one characteristic in common: when the ball penetrates to the lane, they converge - yet, the ball doesn't come out to open shooters. Too many arms, too many legs, too many bodies in the way, and too much anticipation. All great defensive teams look alike: dribblers get swallowed up, and the ball disappears...This is how Boston plays. They are a great defensive team.
4) In a first quarter shot clock situation, off an inbounds pass, Dwyane Wade received a pass, double pumped, and launched a 14 footer from the wing clear over the backboard. That prompted a call from Dos Headquarters to Plumber. Out of deference to the hour, a message was left on his office machine. There is one - and only one - hard and fast rule at Dos Minutos: any time we see a game when someone shoots a ball over the backcourt, we call the Plumber immediately. This hearkens back to our Boston College days together when, one innocuous afternoon, during a pickup game, either Plumber or myself came down the court handling the ball in a two on one situation. The lone defender back in transition was Boston College player Darrell Michaels, a 6'8" backup power forward who had transferred to BC from Utah. Michaels had the approximate game of current Celtic Brian Scalabrine, except that he was approximately 70% less athletic, and 100% less skilled. Did I mention he was white? The ballhandler - again, either Plumber or myself - began to pull up at the foul line intending to shoot the jumper if Michaels retreated, or drop the ball off to the cutting wing player if Michaels looked to stop the jumper. The ballhandler took his eye off Michaels for a moment to check the cutter, then went up in the air to shoot the jumper, intuitively sensing that Michaels had dropped back in to the lane. He sensed wrong. Michaels had jumped all the way out to contest the shot. No matter how unathletic he was, he was still 6'8". I'm 6'1" - Plumber even smaller. For one horrible moment it appeared that I - I mean, I or the Plumber - was going to have his jump shot batted to Kingdom Come by the stiffest Big East player of all-time. At the last instant, the shot was adjusted to account for Michaels' length, and it sailed in a high arc towards the basket. A high, high arc. So high that it cleared the entire backboard with room to spare. After a stunned moment of silence, someone retrieved the ball, and the game resumed. But for Plumber and myself, basketball would never be the same. Let's be honest - it doesn't really matter which one of us shot the ball over the backboard that day. What really matters is that every time it has happened since in a game that I was watching, I call the Plumber.
5) Plumber is optimistic about the Nets' difficult road trip out West, which began tonight with a loss in New Orleans to the Hornets, who were without David West and Tyson Chandler: "I think we can lose every game and get Lawrence Frank fired." It is good to set goals.
6) Finally, an update on the Tom Cruise-Hitler situation. It turns out his desire to kill Hitler is not a recent development. Not at all. From MSNBC.com:
Cruise says he grew up wanting to kill Hitler
‘Valkyrie’ star inspired by those who tried to take down Nazi leader
I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him," the Hollywood star of such major blockbusters as "Top Gun" and "Mission Impossible," told the press during a visit to Seoul to promote his latest film.
"As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, why didn't someone stand up and try to stop it?
Some kids grow up loving Scooby Doo and making mud pies. Not young Tom Cruise, who grew up with an absolute passion for murdering already-dead, totalitarian dictators. I mean, along with his passion for criticising women who are suffering from post-partum depression. Oh, and his hatred of kids who take Ritalin...I can't wait for his next movie where he goes back in time and tries to take out Red Auerbach...
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Heat 104 Thunder 94
6 Thoughts
1) Competent win - true, against the worst team, record-wise, in the league, but the Thunder were coming off home wins over Detroit and Utah, and it was the second night of a back-to-back for Miami, and the final game of an interminable 7 game road trip. Caps off a very pleasing 4-3 trip, heading back home for a brutal schedule of Boston, Orlando, and Atlanta over the next week. 22-18, and hanging around right in the thick of the playoff race.
2) It was also a highly entertaining game - one of the more enjoyable of the year, really -which featured one of the most athletically stimulating sequences of the season. 6' 3" rookie jumping jack Russell Westbrook blocked a Jamal Magloire dunk try at one end, and the Thunder raced out in transition where Kevin Durant tried to flush a tomahawk dunk on Beasley, took off too soon, and threw it forty miles an hour off the top of the backboard, caroming back out to Wade going the other direction, who went behind the back to Chalmers on the wing, and then right back to Wade on the dead run for a crazy two handed flying slam. The Thunder are young, athletic, and wild, the crowd is loud, and the arena pipes in 80s music at level 11 - prominently featuring Run DMC - while play is going on. It makes for a frenetic evening.
3) This really should be # 1, but - Jamal Magloire was the best player on the court in the second half. Was effective in a short first half stint, got it going in the third quarter and never came back out. Finished with 13 points, 6 rebounds, and 2 blocks in 30 minutes. Even better, his defense was impeccable. He contested post position, he showed on pick and rolls, he was a deterrent around the rim, he drew a charge - he played a great defensive game. I'm not going to make a joke, I'm not going to expect it on a regular basis - but he honestly played a fantastic game. One other thing I'll say for him - he has always played hard, every time he has been in all season. Probably in a little better shape than he been in awhile - that helps, I'm sure.
4) Thor and his friends from Kansas are off the hook now that Mario Chalmers finally bounced back and had a nice game, 13 points, 4 assists, 3 steals, and one late dagger three with the shot clock going off to thwart the Thunder's last run. Hounded fellow rookie Russell Westbrook in to a 4-12, 4 turnover night. Westbrook, the # 4 pick in this year's draft, is an unbelievably electric athlete. He also has an absolute passion for dribbling the ball. Where? Right, left, to the side, in transition, backing up - anywhere it can be dribbled, really. If someone can teach him how to distribute he has a chance to be a great player, but it might take some teaching...
5) The crowd seemed disproportionately riled up - not that unusual for a Miami road game, where Dwyane Wade usually brings sold out houses and an extra electricity in the air. Still, this crowd seemed even more excited than usual. M. Minutos guessed that there may have been a festive atmosphere afoot, what with MLK Day tomorrow, and the inauguration on Tuesday, until it was pointed out to her that the game was in Oklahoma City, so it was unlikely to be a really pro-MLK, Obama crowd. "Oh, no, there are black people there," said M., "they are just sitting up at the top where you can't see them."
6) And finally, now available: "Dos Minutos: The Record, Vol. 1," a thirteen song CD with many of the hits, stoner jams, and new music mentioned on this site over the first forty games of the season. First copy printed and delivered yesterday, and available for free to all readers of this blog. Just reply with an email where to send it if you would like one. Note to Plumber: there is no Roy Orbison on it - you may want to pass...
1) Competent win - true, against the worst team, record-wise, in the league, but the Thunder were coming off home wins over Detroit and Utah, and it was the second night of a back-to-back for Miami, and the final game of an interminable 7 game road trip. Caps off a very pleasing 4-3 trip, heading back home for a brutal schedule of Boston, Orlando, and Atlanta over the next week. 22-18, and hanging around right in the thick of the playoff race.
2) It was also a highly entertaining game - one of the more enjoyable of the year, really -which featured one of the most athletically stimulating sequences of the season. 6' 3" rookie jumping jack Russell Westbrook blocked a Jamal Magloire dunk try at one end, and the Thunder raced out in transition where Kevin Durant tried to flush a tomahawk dunk on Beasley, took off too soon, and threw it forty miles an hour off the top of the backboard, caroming back out to Wade going the other direction, who went behind the back to Chalmers on the wing, and then right back to Wade on the dead run for a crazy two handed flying slam. The Thunder are young, athletic, and wild, the crowd is loud, and the arena pipes in 80s music at level 11 - prominently featuring Run DMC - while play is going on. It makes for a frenetic evening.
3) This really should be # 1, but - Jamal Magloire was the best player on the court in the second half. Was effective in a short first half stint, got it going in the third quarter and never came back out. Finished with 13 points, 6 rebounds, and 2 blocks in 30 minutes. Even better, his defense was impeccable. He contested post position, he showed on pick and rolls, he was a deterrent around the rim, he drew a charge - he played a great defensive game. I'm not going to make a joke, I'm not going to expect it on a regular basis - but he honestly played a fantastic game. One other thing I'll say for him - he has always played hard, every time he has been in all season. Probably in a little better shape than he been in awhile - that helps, I'm sure.
4) Thor and his friends from Kansas are off the hook now that Mario Chalmers finally bounced back and had a nice game, 13 points, 4 assists, 3 steals, and one late dagger three with the shot clock going off to thwart the Thunder's last run. Hounded fellow rookie Russell Westbrook in to a 4-12, 4 turnover night. Westbrook, the # 4 pick in this year's draft, is an unbelievably electric athlete. He also has an absolute passion for dribbling the ball. Where? Right, left, to the side, in transition, backing up - anywhere it can be dribbled, really. If someone can teach him how to distribute he has a chance to be a great player, but it might take some teaching...
5) The crowd seemed disproportionately riled up - not that unusual for a Miami road game, where Dwyane Wade usually brings sold out houses and an extra electricity in the air. Still, this crowd seemed even more excited than usual. M. Minutos guessed that there may have been a festive atmosphere afoot, what with MLK Day tomorrow, and the inauguration on Tuesday, until it was pointed out to her that the game was in Oklahoma City, so it was unlikely to be a really pro-MLK, Obama crowd. "Oh, no, there are black people there," said M., "they are just sitting up at the top where you can't see them."
6) And finally, now available: "Dos Minutos: The Record, Vol. 1," a thirteen song CD with many of the hits, stoner jams, and new music mentioned on this site over the first forty games of the season. First copy printed and delivered yesterday, and available for free to all readers of this blog. Just reply with an email where to send it if you would like one. Note to Plumber: there is no Roy Orbison on it - you may want to pass...
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Rockets 93 Heat 86
6 Thoughts
1) Unfortunate loss in Houston. Sometimes you get your normal looks and they just don't go in, and you end up shooting 40% from the floor. Meanwhile, a lumbering 7 foot 6 inch Chinaman goes 12-12 for the other team, and you get ground out near the end of a long road trip. Is that politically correct, by the way - "lumbering?"
2) For the game's opening jump ball, veteran official Derrick Stafford tossed the ball up in the air, then got absolutely woofed in the nose, full force, by a Joel Anthony elbow as he landed after jumping for the tip. Never, ever seen that before. Much blood ensued - Stafford was led to the Heat bench where the trainers attended to him - while just behind the scene on the bench Heat coach Erik Spoelstra was clearly doing his best to stifle the case of the giggles the play had given him.
3) Rocket guard Von Wafer lit up the Heat in the first half with 7-11 shooting. "Wonder if they call him Nilla," wondered M. Minutos benignly? We decided that they probably do: all except Crazyman Ron Artest, who we guessed calls him "Nillow," because he thinks that is what the other guys are saying, and because he has probably never made the connection. Probably a 50-50 bet that, although he has eaten nilla wafers, he doesn't know what they are called. Also probably believes the nickname is somehow related to Denver forward Carmelo Anthony's "Mellow," although there is no known connection between Wafer and Anthony. Also a fair bet that Artest has never considered why Carmelo is called "Mellow." You can't go wrong betting against Ron Artest knowing things, I would think...
4) Back in the day, physical play - and occasional fighting - were far more common in the NBA than they are right now. In general, there are only two guys currently in the NBA looking for a fight on a regular basis, and they are both undersized power forwards from Argentina: Luis Scola, who tried to decapitate struggling Mario Chalmers with an after-the-whistle-elbow this evening, and the Bulls' Andrea Nocioni, who gets in to shenanigans of his own making virtually every game. No joke here - just warrants mentioning. By the way, the entire original post for thought 4 was: "Paul Blart, Mall Cop," but I changed it. That's a little look behind the curtain for you.
5) It turns out that NBA Methuselah and Rocket backup, backup center, Dikembe Mutombo, will be attending Tuesday's presidential inauguration with his son and his father. I guess the Rockets don't have a game that day - not that it matters. Is it time for Obama to be president already? Man, time flies. It seems like just yesterday he was prematurely measuring the White House drapes.
6) Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had the last two nights off in Houston. Saw Valkyrie the first night, Grand Torino the second night. Both loved Grand Torino; Eric Reid called Valkyrie "not bad." For the irrepressably optimistic Reid, this is akin to taking a poop in his seat at the theater in disgust. At least they didn't see it in Sacremento. "Eric, I couldn't figure out why Tom Cruise was trying to kill Hitler," complained Tony.
1) Unfortunate loss in Houston. Sometimes you get your normal looks and they just don't go in, and you end up shooting 40% from the floor. Meanwhile, a lumbering 7 foot 6 inch Chinaman goes 12-12 for the other team, and you get ground out near the end of a long road trip. Is that politically correct, by the way - "lumbering?"
2) For the game's opening jump ball, veteran official Derrick Stafford tossed the ball up in the air, then got absolutely woofed in the nose, full force, by a Joel Anthony elbow as he landed after jumping for the tip. Never, ever seen that before. Much blood ensued - Stafford was led to the Heat bench where the trainers attended to him - while just behind the scene on the bench Heat coach Erik Spoelstra was clearly doing his best to stifle the case of the giggles the play had given him.
3) Rocket guard Von Wafer lit up the Heat in the first half with 7-11 shooting. "Wonder if they call him Nilla," wondered M. Minutos benignly? We decided that they probably do: all except Crazyman Ron Artest, who we guessed calls him "Nillow," because he thinks that is what the other guys are saying, and because he has probably never made the connection. Probably a 50-50 bet that, although he has eaten nilla wafers, he doesn't know what they are called. Also probably believes the nickname is somehow related to Denver forward Carmelo Anthony's "Mellow," although there is no known connection between Wafer and Anthony. Also a fair bet that Artest has never considered why Carmelo is called "Mellow." You can't go wrong betting against Ron Artest knowing things, I would think...
4) Back in the day, physical play - and occasional fighting - were far more common in the NBA than they are right now. In general, there are only two guys currently in the NBA looking for a fight on a regular basis, and they are both undersized power forwards from Argentina: Luis Scola, who tried to decapitate struggling Mario Chalmers with an after-the-whistle-elbow this evening, and the Bulls' Andrea Nocioni, who gets in to shenanigans of his own making virtually every game. No joke here - just warrants mentioning. By the way, the entire original post for thought 4 was: "Paul Blart, Mall Cop," but I changed it. That's a little look behind the curtain for you.
5) It turns out that NBA Methuselah and Rocket backup, backup center, Dikembe Mutombo, will be attending Tuesday's presidential inauguration with his son and his father. I guess the Rockets don't have a game that day - not that it matters. Is it time for Obama to be president already? Man, time flies. It seems like just yesterday he was prematurely measuring the White House drapes.
6) Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had the last two nights off in Houston. Saw Valkyrie the first night, Grand Torino the second night. Both loved Grand Torino; Eric Reid called Valkyrie "not bad." For the irrepressably optimistic Reid, this is akin to taking a poop in his seat at the theater in disgust. At least they didn't see it in Sacremento. "Eric, I couldn't figure out why Tom Cruise was trying to kill Hitler," complained Tony.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Heat 102 Bucks 99
6 Thoughts
1) Good win: second night of a back-to-back on the road against a decent, veteran team. What made it different, though, was Dwyane Wade's brutal off-game. One night after a heroic performance in Minnesota, his tank looked empty, and Miami got down 10 early. It would take a group effort on this night. Enter Daequan Cook. Over the last 4 minutes of the first quarter and first 3 minutes of the second quarter, DCook made 6 threes. In a row. I don't think he hit the rim. Shooter! He's ripping it at 46-83 from three in his last 13 games - that's volume (over 3 per game) and efficiency (55%). Took Miami from 10 down to 10 up. Hounded Richard Jefferson into 2 late game turnovers. Made 4 free throws to seal it. Career high 24 points in 27 minutes.
2) Also on fire: fellow Ritalin Kid Michael Beasley. 8-11 for 21 points in 28 minutes. He's gone over 20 points in three out of his last four games. Made one absolutely ridiculous shot in the fourth quarter: backed down Mbah a Moute from the right mid-post area. Took one dribble middle, then spun back out to the baseline for a turnaround - 7 footer Andrew Bogut was helping on that side, and went up high to block the shot so Beas - mid-air - switched the ball to his right hand, leaned out to the baseline, and tossed in a righty 12 footer. Absurd. The kid's hands are sofffffft.
3) Those two were good - but perhaps the best player in the game, bringing it for the second night in a row, was Shawn Marion. 14 points, 10 rebounds -7 offensive - and a late, game-saving block from out of nowhere on a Jefferson pullup in the lane. Even eschewed, for once, the bad-angle running hurl from the right wing to, instead, swoop in and use a lefty layup late in the game, almost as if he were a competent offensive player. He actually works as hard as anyone, so it is good to see him play such a big role two nights in a row.
4) One trend Dos Minutos is tracking closely: ever since signing up a Kansas graduate for the blog, former Kansas guard Mario Chalmers has struggled mightily. We don't know whether to blame the dude from Kansas, or Thor, who asked us to sign him up. Mario is used to playing about 35 games a year in college. The Heat are at 38 right now (21-17) - he may be hitting the rookie wall. Actually, he may be hitting rookie wall at the same time it is also moving towards, and hitting, him. Actually, he may have collided with the wall, then someone lifted up the wall, and dropped it down on top of him. And then put another wall on top of the first wall. And then secured the walls in some manner so that they won't fall over and will just stay there on top of him, pinning him down. He is not playing well right now. Essentially he has swapped spots with Chris Quinn, who has played the starter's share of the minutes the last two nights, and even started the second half with...
5) The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire! Surprise second half starter! If I asked you which was a bigger surprise: Jamal Magloire starts the second half tonight, or Tom Cruise makes a movie in which he is anti-Hitler (we confirmed it), what would you answer? How about if I tossed in the fact that Big Cat threw in a sweet reverse layup off a drop step? How about if I added that he got physical with Bogut and was the only Heat player to keep the big kid from Oz off the boards? How about if he led the Heat in plus-minus for the game, at +12? It's getting closer, right? Do it, Big Cat, do it like the ferocious feline warrior that you know you are! By the way, he is now officially up (or down) to 60% less terrible than I thought he would be at the beginning of the season.
6) Finally, unfortunately, had to spend some time at a memorial service today. The Catholic priest told a nice story in which someone - I guess it would be Jesus, I really wasn't paying too close attention - told someone else, and by extension, "us," that no matter how scarlet red our sins have stained us, He can make us white as snow. Wow. Wait - even Antoine Walker? Because he has taken a lot of really, really bad shots, Lord, when he probably should have swung the ball to the open man. Even that can be fixed? Oh, and he also recently got a DUI down in South Beach, just so you know.
-------------------
One reader makes the point that Sean Penn is an idiot because by the time Phoebe Cates became mom-ish, he would have been long, long gone. A fair point. Next time I make up an imaginary story that he is in, I will be sure to tell him...
1) Good win: second night of a back-to-back on the road against a decent, veteran team. What made it different, though, was Dwyane Wade's brutal off-game. One night after a heroic performance in Minnesota, his tank looked empty, and Miami got down 10 early. It would take a group effort on this night. Enter Daequan Cook. Over the last 4 minutes of the first quarter and first 3 minutes of the second quarter, DCook made 6 threes. In a row. I don't think he hit the rim. Shooter! He's ripping it at 46-83 from three in his last 13 games - that's volume (over 3 per game) and efficiency (55%). Took Miami from 10 down to 10 up. Hounded Richard Jefferson into 2 late game turnovers. Made 4 free throws to seal it. Career high 24 points in 27 minutes.
2) Also on fire: fellow Ritalin Kid Michael Beasley. 8-11 for 21 points in 28 minutes. He's gone over 20 points in three out of his last four games. Made one absolutely ridiculous shot in the fourth quarter: backed down Mbah a Moute from the right mid-post area. Took one dribble middle, then spun back out to the baseline for a turnaround - 7 footer Andrew Bogut was helping on that side, and went up high to block the shot so Beas - mid-air - switched the ball to his right hand, leaned out to the baseline, and tossed in a righty 12 footer. Absurd. The kid's hands are sofffffft.
3) Those two were good - but perhaps the best player in the game, bringing it for the second night in a row, was Shawn Marion. 14 points, 10 rebounds -7 offensive - and a late, game-saving block from out of nowhere on a Jefferson pullup in the lane. Even eschewed, for once, the bad-angle running hurl from the right wing to, instead, swoop in and use a lefty layup late in the game, almost as if he were a competent offensive player. He actually works as hard as anyone, so it is good to see him play such a big role two nights in a row.
4) One trend Dos Minutos is tracking closely: ever since signing up a Kansas graduate for the blog, former Kansas guard Mario Chalmers has struggled mightily. We don't know whether to blame the dude from Kansas, or Thor, who asked us to sign him up. Mario is used to playing about 35 games a year in college. The Heat are at 38 right now (21-17) - he may be hitting the rookie wall. Actually, he may be hitting rookie wall at the same time it is also moving towards, and hitting, him. Actually, he may have collided with the wall, then someone lifted up the wall, and dropped it down on top of him. And then put another wall on top of the first wall. And then secured the walls in some manner so that they won't fall over and will just stay there on top of him, pinning him down. He is not playing well right now. Essentially he has swapped spots with Chris Quinn, who has played the starter's share of the minutes the last two nights, and even started the second half with...
5) The Big Cat, Jamal Magloire! Surprise second half starter! If I asked you which was a bigger surprise: Jamal Magloire starts the second half tonight, or Tom Cruise makes a movie in which he is anti-Hitler (we confirmed it), what would you answer? How about if I tossed in the fact that Big Cat threw in a sweet reverse layup off a drop step? How about if I added that he got physical with Bogut and was the only Heat player to keep the big kid from Oz off the boards? How about if he led the Heat in plus-minus for the game, at +12? It's getting closer, right? Do it, Big Cat, do it like the ferocious feline warrior that you know you are! By the way, he is now officially up (or down) to 60% less terrible than I thought he would be at the beginning of the season.
6) Finally, unfortunately, had to spend some time at a memorial service today. The Catholic priest told a nice story in which someone - I guess it would be Jesus, I really wasn't paying too close attention - told someone else, and by extension, "us," that no matter how scarlet red our sins have stained us, He can make us white as snow. Wow. Wait - even Antoine Walker? Because he has taken a lot of really, really bad shots, Lord, when he probably should have swung the ball to the open man. Even that can be fixed? Oh, and he also recently got a DUI down in South Beach, just so you know.
-------------------
One reader makes the point that Sean Penn is an idiot because by the time Phoebe Cates became mom-ish, he would have been long, long gone. A fair point. Next time I make up an imaginary story that he is in, I will be sure to tell him...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Heat 99 Timberwolves 96
6 Thoughts
1) Okay, it's late, it is a busy day at the Dos Minutos' offices tomorrow, followed by another late night of research and basketball - let's set a game plan. Points 1-4: quick recap of game. Point 5: weather review. Point 6: in honor of this past weekend's Golden Globe awards, a quick Hollywood-themed story...Heat trailed by 5 all night in Minnesota, got over the hump with one final push at the end. Wade - of course, 31 on only 15 shots, to go with the usual 8 dimes, 3 blocks and 3 steals. But also, Mike Beasley - doing it all over the 4th quarter for the third straight game, including a couple of huge late rebounds in traffic. Not a bad win to get to 20-17 -- T-Wolves had actually won 5 straight. The Heat need every win they can get - the pack (Sixers, Bucks, Nets) is closing in on them from behind, and the schedule ahead is brutal.
2) Finally a night where Miami owned the paint. Even rebounding numbers overall, but Haslem and Marion both registered physical double-doubles, and The Beas had 14 and 7 in 23 minutes off the bench. Miami shot 38 free throws to 13 by Minnesota. Miami has been on the other end of that equation all year - it took them 37 games, but they finally found a team that defends the rim worse than they do. Al Jefferson and Kevin Love aren't exactly Bill Russell and Dikembe Mutombo back there.
3) It was one of Bad Santa Marion's best games of the year. 16 points, 11 rebounds, a couple of steals, a couple of blocks, moved well without the ball, made two late free throws in a key spot. Gave an absolutely unintelligible post-game, on-court interview to Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson (or, as he likes to be known: "Jax!" My friends, never give yourself a nickname...). Marion tends to talk super fast, has a bit of a drawl, odd word choice, and, often, unfocused trains of thought - all of which make it hard to understand him. In fact, the only time all year where it was absolutely clear what he was saying was on Christmas when he yelled at the kid to "open the gift now!" during his charitable travels. Why do I have a feeling there is one 5 year old down in Homestead who is scared to death of who might visit him next week on Martin Luther King Day?
4) Midway through the first quarter play-by-play dude Eric Reid told the viewers that if anyone was wondering why he and sidekick Tony "Foul to Give" Fiorentino were not wearing their championship rings, he didn't want them to be alarmed - there was a good reason. Apparently, Tony's ring needed repairs, so he sent it back to South Florida for some work. In the meantime, Eric, out of solidarity to Tony, will not wear his ring until the road trip is over, they get back to Miami, and Tony gets his repaired ring. Wasn't there actually a scene in Titanic where Jack vows not to wear his championship ring until all his dude friends get back to shore safely? My goodness gracious - I don't even think "bromance" covers it.
5) Okay - weather report. Eric Reid reported that it was -7 in Minnesota, then pointed out the weather had kept most of the fans away from the game. That, and Timberwolves General Manager/Coach Kevin McHale's record of horrific drafting, short-sighted trades, and violation of the collective bargaining agreement for which the league penalized them several first round picks (even stupider - a violation proved by the existence of a written "secret" document). The Heat go to Milwaukee tomorrow where the weather promises to be similarly brutal, and the Bucks haven't made a significant playoff run in approximately whatever number comes after "infinity" years...
6) And finally, I remember as clear as day the first time I ever met Sean Penn. I was in high school, out with my friends late at night at a McDonalds after an evening of beer, and striking out with high school girls. Penn walks in all by himself, leather coat, collar pulled up - it wasn't long after Christmas, kind of the same time of year we are in right now. He had blown up with Fast Times a couple of years earlier but the big news of the moment was that he had just started seeing Madonna. It is easy to forget that they were married. We are standing in line, he's standing in line next to us. Something had to be said - finally my friend Belly goes, "Dude, if I were you I would totally be all over Phoebe Cates. I mean, Madonna is cute, but Phoebe Cates is ridiculous!" And Penn measures us, kind of looks us over, assesses us, and tells all of us, not just Belly, "you may think Phoebe Cates is hot now, but she is going to get all mom-ish, trust me." And there is a long pause while we all consider that, and then he goes, "it's a fuckin' shame," and then he walks out, doesn't even order, like he had done what he came there to do. Fuckin' cool. In any case, I don't know what the hell ever happened to the guy, where he has been all these years, but there he was in the Golden Globes the other night playing some Milk activist dude from the 70s - that's a long fall from Fast Times, boy. I'll tell you one thing, though - the guy was fairly spot on about Phoebe Cates. She is still a handsome woman, but that pool scene in Fast Times was something. We're likely never to see the likes of that again...
1) Okay, it's late, it is a busy day at the Dos Minutos' offices tomorrow, followed by another late night of research and basketball - let's set a game plan. Points 1-4: quick recap of game. Point 5: weather review. Point 6: in honor of this past weekend's Golden Globe awards, a quick Hollywood-themed story...Heat trailed by 5 all night in Minnesota, got over the hump with one final push at the end. Wade - of course, 31 on only 15 shots, to go with the usual 8 dimes, 3 blocks and 3 steals. But also, Mike Beasley - doing it all over the 4th quarter for the third straight game, including a couple of huge late rebounds in traffic. Not a bad win to get to 20-17 -- T-Wolves had actually won 5 straight. The Heat need every win they can get - the pack (Sixers, Bucks, Nets) is closing in on them from behind, and the schedule ahead is brutal.
2) Finally a night where Miami owned the paint. Even rebounding numbers overall, but Haslem and Marion both registered physical double-doubles, and The Beas had 14 and 7 in 23 minutes off the bench. Miami shot 38 free throws to 13 by Minnesota. Miami has been on the other end of that equation all year - it took them 37 games, but they finally found a team that defends the rim worse than they do. Al Jefferson and Kevin Love aren't exactly Bill Russell and Dikembe Mutombo back there.
3) It was one of Bad Santa Marion's best games of the year. 16 points, 11 rebounds, a couple of steals, a couple of blocks, moved well without the ball, made two late free throws in a key spot. Gave an absolutely unintelligible post-game, on-court interview to Heat sideline reporter Jason Jackson (or, as he likes to be known: "Jax!" My friends, never give yourself a nickname...). Marion tends to talk super fast, has a bit of a drawl, odd word choice, and, often, unfocused trains of thought - all of which make it hard to understand him. In fact, the only time all year where it was absolutely clear what he was saying was on Christmas when he yelled at the kid to "open the gift now!" during his charitable travels. Why do I have a feeling there is one 5 year old down in Homestead who is scared to death of who might visit him next week on Martin Luther King Day?
4) Midway through the first quarter play-by-play dude Eric Reid told the viewers that if anyone was wondering why he and sidekick Tony "Foul to Give" Fiorentino were not wearing their championship rings, he didn't want them to be alarmed - there was a good reason. Apparently, Tony's ring needed repairs, so he sent it back to South Florida for some work. In the meantime, Eric, out of solidarity to Tony, will not wear his ring until the road trip is over, they get back to Miami, and Tony gets his repaired ring. Wasn't there actually a scene in Titanic where Jack vows not to wear his championship ring until all his dude friends get back to shore safely? My goodness gracious - I don't even think "bromance" covers it.
5) Okay - weather report. Eric Reid reported that it was -7 in Minnesota, then pointed out the weather had kept most of the fans away from the game. That, and Timberwolves General Manager/Coach Kevin McHale's record of horrific drafting, short-sighted trades, and violation of the collective bargaining agreement for which the league penalized them several first round picks (even stupider - a violation proved by the existence of a written "secret" document). The Heat go to Milwaukee tomorrow where the weather promises to be similarly brutal, and the Bucks haven't made a significant playoff run in approximately whatever number comes after "infinity" years...
6) And finally, I remember as clear as day the first time I ever met Sean Penn. I was in high school, out with my friends late at night at a McDonalds after an evening of beer, and striking out with high school girls. Penn walks in all by himself, leather coat, collar pulled up - it wasn't long after Christmas, kind of the same time of year we are in right now. He had blown up with Fast Times a couple of years earlier but the big news of the moment was that he had just started seeing Madonna. It is easy to forget that they were married. We are standing in line, he's standing in line next to us. Something had to be said - finally my friend Belly goes, "Dude, if I were you I would totally be all over Phoebe Cates. I mean, Madonna is cute, but Phoebe Cates is ridiculous!" And Penn measures us, kind of looks us over, assesses us, and tells all of us, not just Belly, "you may think Phoebe Cates is hot now, but she is going to get all mom-ish, trust me." And there is a long pause while we all consider that, and then he goes, "it's a fuckin' shame," and then he walks out, doesn't even order, like he had done what he came there to do. Fuckin' cool. In any case, I don't know what the hell ever happened to the guy, where he has been all these years, but there he was in the Golden Globes the other night playing some Milk activist dude from the 70s - that's a long fall from Fast Times, boy. I'll tell you one thing, though - the guy was fairly spot on about Phoebe Cates. She is still a handsome woman, but that pool scene in Fast Times was something. We're likely never to see the likes of that again...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Lakers 108 Heat 105
6 Thoughts
1) Sometimes you just need one more shot. In Miami earlier this season, Kobe Bryant's runner in the lane to send the game to overtime rimmed out and the Heat won. Tonight in L.A., Chris Quinn's wide open three with 10 seconds to go, down 2, came up just short, and the Heat lost an incredibly well-played and scintillating game. Warrants mention that on the next to last possession of the game, Wade drove and collided heads with Kobe Bryant so hard that both were bleeding from gashes, and no foul was called. Moments later, Daequan Cook's three to tie at the buzzer came up short as he was knocked to the ground by Derek Fisher. Finally, the Lakers shot 31 free throws for the night, compared to 14 for Miami. Tonight's "very special" referee - why, yes - Mr. Bennett Salvatore! Although, to be honest, he was approximately 80% less terrible tonight than he is in most games. The Heat were right there, had a chance to make a play, and didn't. It happens.
2) Sometimes, too, numbers don't tell the whole story: DWade had 27 points, 9 assists, and 5 rebounds to go with with 2 steals and 2 blocks compared to Kobe Bryant's 19 points on 5-14 shooting. But it was Bryant's dogged and outstanding defense on Wade throughout the game that set a tone of toughness for the Lakers. If your best player plays the defensive end that hard, what choice do your other players have but to get in line and do the same thing? Early in the game after a Wade block, Heat color commentator and Wade apologist Tony Fiorentino called him the best defensive guard in the game. That's not even close to true. Wade makes as many big plays defensively as anyone this side of Tim Duncan, but often plays his man soft throughout the course of a game - realistically he has to, given his tremendous offensive responsibilities. Bryant didn't take a play off defensively tonight. It was tremendous effort by one of the league's brightest stars, and selfless - a word not often associated with Kobe Bryant.
3) Mike Beasley almost won this game for Miami. 16 of his 23 in the 4th quarter, including 10 straight down the stretch. He knocked down jumpers, he got to the rim, he rebounded the ball - and played the entire fourth quarter for the second game in a row. That's 23 points in 22 total minutes, since he had played only ten entering the 4th - and 23 points two games in a row. Professionals bring it night after night - that's where he is trying to get to.
4) During the requisite Lakers game celebrity crowd scan early in the 4th quarter, Tony Fiorentino spied Denzel Washington. Tony, who is from Mount Vernon, New York, never misses a chance to rep a pasean from his hometown. "Denzel Washington - great actor, Eric," crowed Tony. "Not much of a basketball player, though - more of a football guy. I think his son is in the NFL. I'm not sure, but I think so." Tony's right - Denzel's son is Ben Roethlisberger.
5) Both Tony and his play-by-play partner Eric Reid seemed to have a little extra pep in the step tonight, even halfway through an interminable road trip. One - big game against the Lakers. Two - the computer problems experienced on the Heat charter in Denver have, apparently, not caused any subsequent flights to turn in to a flaming death bomb. But 3, and most importantly - they have escaped Sacramento, and won't have to return for another year. Dos reader Scott sympathized with the duo by email: "Sacramento is indeed the entertainment wasteland that is depicted." Good to know that Sacramento's reputation stretches even to Scotland...
6) Saw The Curious Ben Button. Incredibly creepy and sufficiently moving at the same time. If there is any criticism to be made of it, it is that you don't really feel Button. You feel the inescapable gnawing of life's temporality - but not really Button himself. It is, perhaps, not a "must-see;" but certainly a "should-see"...It is a fact that Brad Pitt almost always makes interesting movies - some work, some don't - but he always tries. Currently shooting a Nazi war film with Quentin Tarantino. Let's go out on a limb and guess that will prove more interesting than Tom Cruise's Valkyrie. Overheard recently: "Why is Tom Cruise trying to kill Hitler?" Speaking for my Jewish roots - thanks, Tom, we'll do without the help. Wait - he is anti-Holocaust in the movie, right?
1) Sometimes you just need one more shot. In Miami earlier this season, Kobe Bryant's runner in the lane to send the game to overtime rimmed out and the Heat won. Tonight in L.A., Chris Quinn's wide open three with 10 seconds to go, down 2, came up just short, and the Heat lost an incredibly well-played and scintillating game. Warrants mention that on the next to last possession of the game, Wade drove and collided heads with Kobe Bryant so hard that both were bleeding from gashes, and no foul was called. Moments later, Daequan Cook's three to tie at the buzzer came up short as he was knocked to the ground by Derek Fisher. Finally, the Lakers shot 31 free throws for the night, compared to 14 for Miami. Tonight's "very special" referee - why, yes - Mr. Bennett Salvatore! Although, to be honest, he was approximately 80% less terrible tonight than he is in most games. The Heat were right there, had a chance to make a play, and didn't. It happens.
2) Sometimes, too, numbers don't tell the whole story: DWade had 27 points, 9 assists, and 5 rebounds to go with with 2 steals and 2 blocks compared to Kobe Bryant's 19 points on 5-14 shooting. But it was Bryant's dogged and outstanding defense on Wade throughout the game that set a tone of toughness for the Lakers. If your best player plays the defensive end that hard, what choice do your other players have but to get in line and do the same thing? Early in the game after a Wade block, Heat color commentator and Wade apologist Tony Fiorentino called him the best defensive guard in the game. That's not even close to true. Wade makes as many big plays defensively as anyone this side of Tim Duncan, but often plays his man soft throughout the course of a game - realistically he has to, given his tremendous offensive responsibilities. Bryant didn't take a play off defensively tonight. It was tremendous effort by one of the league's brightest stars, and selfless - a word not often associated with Kobe Bryant.
3) Mike Beasley almost won this game for Miami. 16 of his 23 in the 4th quarter, including 10 straight down the stretch. He knocked down jumpers, he got to the rim, he rebounded the ball - and played the entire fourth quarter for the second game in a row. That's 23 points in 22 total minutes, since he had played only ten entering the 4th - and 23 points two games in a row. Professionals bring it night after night - that's where he is trying to get to.
4) During the requisite Lakers game celebrity crowd scan early in the 4th quarter, Tony Fiorentino spied Denzel Washington. Tony, who is from Mount Vernon, New York, never misses a chance to rep a pasean from his hometown. "Denzel Washington - great actor, Eric," crowed Tony. "Not much of a basketball player, though - more of a football guy. I think his son is in the NFL. I'm not sure, but I think so." Tony's right - Denzel's son is Ben Roethlisberger.
5) Both Tony and his play-by-play partner Eric Reid seemed to have a little extra pep in the step tonight, even halfway through an interminable road trip. One - big game against the Lakers. Two - the computer problems experienced on the Heat charter in Denver have, apparently, not caused any subsequent flights to turn in to a flaming death bomb. But 3, and most importantly - they have escaped Sacramento, and won't have to return for another year. Dos reader Scott sympathized with the duo by email: "Sacramento is indeed the entertainment wasteland that is depicted." Good to know that Sacramento's reputation stretches even to Scotland...
6) Saw The Curious Ben Button. Incredibly creepy and sufficiently moving at the same time. If there is any criticism to be made of it, it is that you don't really feel Button. You feel the inescapable gnawing of life's temporality - but not really Button himself. It is, perhaps, not a "must-see;" but certainly a "should-see"...It is a fact that Brad Pitt almost always makes interesting movies - some work, some don't - but he always tries. Currently shooting a Nazi war film with Quentin Tarantino. Let's go out on a limb and guess that will prove more interesting than Tom Cruise's Valkyrie. Overheard recently: "Why is Tom Cruise trying to kill Hitler?" Speaking for my Jewish roots - thanks, Tom, we'll do without the help. Wait - he is anti-Holocaust in the movie, right?
Friday, January 9, 2009
Heat 119 Kings 115 ot
6 Thoughts
1) A bad loss (three quarters of minimal defensive effort), then a good comeback win (Beasley and Magloire - ! - ignite a surge), then a heartbreaking trip to overtime (a turnaround three by you-have-to-be-kidding-me-Spencer-Hawes), followed by a dominant stretch (Wade sucks it up, gets to rim), another bizarre Kings comeback fueled by a couple of odd calls (a breakaway foul where a guy didn't have the ball; a flagrant foul on a cleanly blocked shot), and then, finally, a gut-check win on the road (Wade gets to the rim one final time). The Heat look exhausted right now but with a blowout loss to Denver behind them and a Sunday night date with the Lakers in front of them, it was important to win this game. Now 19-16. If they stay above .500, they are in playoffs. They probably can't lose enough games to get in to the bottom 10 and that is the only way they keep their own draft pick - otherwise it goes to Minnesota as part of the Antoine Walker dump. So creeping up on the halfway point, might as well try to make the playoffs - even the experience of getting hammered by a Cleveland or a Boston would be good for the kids. It didn't seem possible when they were winning 15 games all of last year that things could look so relatively rosy so quickly. But here we are. And the team is entertaining. Good times.
2) The main kid in charge tonight: the birthday boy, Mr. Michael Beasley. Now 20 years immature. Down 10 to start the 4th quarter, lethargic as a team, Dwyane Wade on the bench, on four straight trips The Beas went elbow jumper, three, put-back of his own driving miss, drive and drop to Magloire for a dunk. With three straight stops on the other end, suddenly it was a one point game, all nine points generated by Beas. 23 points, 10 rebounds, and one spirited two step to "I Will Survive" during a timeout, which disgusted Kings center Brad Miller. To all girls in nightclubs in the Sacramento area tonight: yes, he really does play for the Heat, but no, he is lying, he wasn't the #1 pick in the draft - he was only #2...
3) Ahhh, Sacramento. Generally, Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino are two of the nicest, most decent men on the planet. They have an absolute passions for Pat Riley-style defensive intensity, crisp offensive execution, the brilliance of Dwyane Wade...and hating Sacramento. Nothing - nothing - gets them more noticeably grumpy than the annual trip to Sacramento. For years they have bemoaned the annual matchup - this it year it started two weeks ago where Eric noted that, fortuitously, last night's NCAA championship football game would be "on a night when we will be stuck in Sacramento with nothing else to do." However, a gleeful Eric reported early tonight that the Heat's plane experienced computer troubles in the Denver airport after Wednesday's game, forcing them to deplane and stay in Denver an extra night before trudging to Sac-town. When it is a tough call between spending one night a year in Sacramento, or potentially careening to your death into a Denver mountainside, that really says something. I've never been there. Where is it? Somewhere in California? Right?
4) Jamal Magloire. He swallows a lot of abuse from this blog...along with a lot of pizzas. RIP John Candy - we miss you Big Man. Here's one more shot at the Heat's comedic widebody: he missed 4 shots from inside of one inch tonight. That said, let's give the man his due - he rebounded the heck out of the ball tonight, grabbing 9 in 15 minutes. He also made one one-incher, and three out of four free throws. He was on the court during Beasley's pivotal 4th quarter run, and was a +15 for the night (points the Heat scored vs. gave up when he was on the court). Laid the wood defensively. He, honestly, has been approximately 40% less terrible than I expected him to be. He is only thing on the team resembling an NBA-sized big man. Is he good? No. Did he help win the game tonight? Yes.
5) Wade had 41 - his fifth 40 point game of the season, a career-high. Made a step back three to tie the game with less a minute to go in overtime. How he has this group 19-16 - that's incredible. I mean, he is on a team that was playing Jamal Magloire crunch time minutes tonight. In the NBA. And they won.
6) Grouper - "I'd Rather Be Sleeping." If you can download songs with any degree of ease, please get this one. You don't need the whole album, just this song. I don't know about itunes, but it is on http://www.gomusic.ru/ which is what you should be using anyways. On first listen you will doubt me - you'll say it's slight, too vague. But you will back for more. Much more.
1) A bad loss (three quarters of minimal defensive effort), then a good comeback win (Beasley and Magloire - ! - ignite a surge), then a heartbreaking trip to overtime (a turnaround three by you-have-to-be-kidding-me-Spencer-Hawes), followed by a dominant stretch (Wade sucks it up, gets to rim), another bizarre Kings comeback fueled by a couple of odd calls (a breakaway foul where a guy didn't have the ball; a flagrant foul on a cleanly blocked shot), and then, finally, a gut-check win on the road (Wade gets to the rim one final time). The Heat look exhausted right now but with a blowout loss to Denver behind them and a Sunday night date with the Lakers in front of them, it was important to win this game. Now 19-16. If they stay above .500, they are in playoffs. They probably can't lose enough games to get in to the bottom 10 and that is the only way they keep their own draft pick - otherwise it goes to Minnesota as part of the Antoine Walker dump. So creeping up on the halfway point, might as well try to make the playoffs - even the experience of getting hammered by a Cleveland or a Boston would be good for the kids. It didn't seem possible when they were winning 15 games all of last year that things could look so relatively rosy so quickly. But here we are. And the team is entertaining. Good times.
2) The main kid in charge tonight: the birthday boy, Mr. Michael Beasley. Now 20 years immature. Down 10 to start the 4th quarter, lethargic as a team, Dwyane Wade on the bench, on four straight trips The Beas went elbow jumper, three, put-back of his own driving miss, drive and drop to Magloire for a dunk. With three straight stops on the other end, suddenly it was a one point game, all nine points generated by Beas. 23 points, 10 rebounds, and one spirited two step to "I Will Survive" during a timeout, which disgusted Kings center Brad Miller. To all girls in nightclubs in the Sacramento area tonight: yes, he really does play for the Heat, but no, he is lying, he wasn't the #1 pick in the draft - he was only #2...
3) Ahhh, Sacramento. Generally, Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino are two of the nicest, most decent men on the planet. They have an absolute passions for Pat Riley-style defensive intensity, crisp offensive execution, the brilliance of Dwyane Wade...and hating Sacramento. Nothing - nothing - gets them more noticeably grumpy than the annual trip to Sacramento. For years they have bemoaned the annual matchup - this it year it started two weeks ago where Eric noted that, fortuitously, last night's NCAA championship football game would be "on a night when we will be stuck in Sacramento with nothing else to do." However, a gleeful Eric reported early tonight that the Heat's plane experienced computer troubles in the Denver airport after Wednesday's game, forcing them to deplane and stay in Denver an extra night before trudging to Sac-town. When it is a tough call between spending one night a year in Sacramento, or potentially careening to your death into a Denver mountainside, that really says something. I've never been there. Where is it? Somewhere in California? Right?
4) Jamal Magloire. He swallows a lot of abuse from this blog...along with a lot of pizzas. RIP John Candy - we miss you Big Man. Here's one more shot at the Heat's comedic widebody: he missed 4 shots from inside of one inch tonight. That said, let's give the man his due - he rebounded the heck out of the ball tonight, grabbing 9 in 15 minutes. He also made one one-incher, and three out of four free throws. He was on the court during Beasley's pivotal 4th quarter run, and was a +15 for the night (points the Heat scored vs. gave up when he was on the court). Laid the wood defensively. He, honestly, has been approximately 40% less terrible than I expected him to be. He is only thing on the team resembling an NBA-sized big man. Is he good? No. Did he help win the game tonight? Yes.
5) Wade had 41 - his fifth 40 point game of the season, a career-high. Made a step back three to tie the game with less a minute to go in overtime. How he has this group 19-16 - that's incredible. I mean, he is on a team that was playing Jamal Magloire crunch time minutes tonight. In the NBA. And they won.
6) Grouper - "I'd Rather Be Sleeping." If you can download songs with any degree of ease, please get this one. You don't need the whole album, just this song. I don't know about itunes, but it is on http://www.gomusic.ru/ which is what you should be using anyways. On first listen you will doubt me - you'll say it's slight, too vague. But you will back for more. Much more.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Nuggets 108 Heat 97
Blown out in Denver. Dick Vitale announcing the game. Bad times. Bad, bad times.
6 Thoughts - the Most Inaccurate or Most Obvious 6 Things Dick Vitale said during the game - because everything he says fits in to one of those two general categories. He's remarkably consistent, actually.
We're not even going to tell jokes because we are too tired and too angry. Not about the loss - that's fine. But you only get 82 NBA games a year as a fan - what gives ESPN the right to ruin one of them? Plus, Denver is good, and Miami has been a pleasant surprise thus far - shouldn't it be two bad teams' fans that get penalized by having to listen to Vitale? It doesn't make any sense that it was pretty good teams - what did they do wrong?
To you, our Dos readers, you should probably just stop reading this one now, because this post is going to suck...we just feel it should be documented. Plus, we suffered - you should have to suffer. Also, someday, a thousand years from now, we don't want to even take the chance that someone will think we approved of this moron broadcasting an NBA game.
1) "I think Kobe, LeBron, and Wade are special players, and they are the three best players in the league."
2) J.R. Smith steals a ball at midcourt, obliviously races down the court and dunks it a second after the half-time buzzer. No basket. "Great awareness by him to recognize the time remaining and try to beat it." He could have pulled up and shot a jumper and beat the clock, actually.
3) "Dwyane Wade is a big-time scorer and I predict he will go for 25 tonight!" He averages over 28.
4) "Miami should really go to Beasley a little more here, get him some touches, he's not touching the ball enough." Beasley wasn't even in the game. As a matter of fact, there were three minutes to go in the third quarter and he hadn't yet played in the second half. So if you figure in halftime, Beasley hadn't even been on the court for like 45 minutes.
5) "It's a shame the average NBA fan doesn't know who Greg Popovich is." To Thor: he is the coach of the 4 time champion San Antonio Spurs. Every average NBA fan knows exactly who he is.
6) "It's a shame some guys don't handle their decision making process better away from the court" - about J.R. Smith, who has had numerous scrapes with the law, but, honestly, doesn't even handle his on-court decision making that well - see # 2. By the way, we assume by "some guys," he meant black guys, but we're not sure. He didn't question any of Smith's white teammate Chris Anderson's off-court decision making even though he was suspended from the NBA for two season for drug use. Moments later, Smith scored a basket and they showed his mother cheering in the crowd. "It's great his mother lives here with him, she is really helping him grow up and mature."
Let's just keep going, since there were a few more.
7) Miami fouled on purpose to stop the clock: "That has to be called an intentional foul." They don't have that rule in the NBA.
8) "There are so many more open shots in the NBA than in college that Stephen Curry will be a star." Actually, in terms of sheer accuracy, this was by far the most inaccurate.
9) "I don't like that kids can go to the NBA after one year of college. I think we should make a Blue Ribbon panel with Michael Jordan on it and let them decide which kids can go to the pros early."
Also worthy of note: spent much of the second quarter hawking a book that he wrote.
We have to be honest, we didn't make it all the way to end of the game with the sound on, so there could have been a lot of dumb things that we missed. By the way, we should mention that his partner, Dan Shulman, was equally bad. Combined, the two of them talked for approximately 2 hours 39 minutes and 50 seconds of a 2 hour and 40 minute broadcast. We can see the game going on. We don't watch a lot of college basketball - is there something different going on which requires the announcers to constantly be filling dead air? These two make Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino sound like Spalding Gray.
I apologize for the whole Dos Minutos staff - we'll try to bounce back next game.
------------------------------------
Before we go, wanted to post something from The Captain, in response to the recommendation of "Set the Ray to Jerry" by the Smashing Pumpkins:
I prefer Yes' "Heart of the Sunrise". This work will take you through so many changes that you're not sure where the song begins and ends. It runs the gamut from the 21st century urban confusion to dreamy pastoralism that, it seems, only the British can do. Squire slamming rigid bass lines off of Howe's intricate axe work and crowned with Anderson's unstrained falsetto as pure as virgin flesh. You can hear excerpts of this composition in the melancholy indie film Buffalo 66. Dos likes to criticize this band, one of my all time favs but what can you expect from someone who thinks the Arctic Monkeys are the next Beatles.
We didn't say that the Artic Monkeys were the next Beatles; what we said was that the Arctic Monkeys make the Beatles sound like a bunch of girls.
And, though they are dear, dear friends with an absolute passion for yodeling about the Queen, Yes sucks.
6 Thoughts - the Most Inaccurate or Most Obvious 6 Things Dick Vitale said during the game - because everything he says fits in to one of those two general categories. He's remarkably consistent, actually.
We're not even going to tell jokes because we are too tired and too angry. Not about the loss - that's fine. But you only get 82 NBA games a year as a fan - what gives ESPN the right to ruin one of them? Plus, Denver is good, and Miami has been a pleasant surprise thus far - shouldn't it be two bad teams' fans that get penalized by having to listen to Vitale? It doesn't make any sense that it was pretty good teams - what did they do wrong?
To you, our Dos readers, you should probably just stop reading this one now, because this post is going to suck...we just feel it should be documented. Plus, we suffered - you should have to suffer. Also, someday, a thousand years from now, we don't want to even take the chance that someone will think we approved of this moron broadcasting an NBA game.
1) "I think Kobe, LeBron, and Wade are special players, and they are the three best players in the league."
2) J.R. Smith steals a ball at midcourt, obliviously races down the court and dunks it a second after the half-time buzzer. No basket. "Great awareness by him to recognize the time remaining and try to beat it." He could have pulled up and shot a jumper and beat the clock, actually.
3) "Dwyane Wade is a big-time scorer and I predict he will go for 25 tonight!" He averages over 28.
4) "Miami should really go to Beasley a little more here, get him some touches, he's not touching the ball enough." Beasley wasn't even in the game. As a matter of fact, there were three minutes to go in the third quarter and he hadn't yet played in the second half. So if you figure in halftime, Beasley hadn't even been on the court for like 45 minutes.
5) "It's a shame the average NBA fan doesn't know who Greg Popovich is." To Thor: he is the coach of the 4 time champion San Antonio Spurs. Every average NBA fan knows exactly who he is.
6) "It's a shame some guys don't handle their decision making process better away from the court" - about J.R. Smith, who has had numerous scrapes with the law, but, honestly, doesn't even handle his on-court decision making that well - see # 2. By the way, we assume by "some guys," he meant black guys, but we're not sure. He didn't question any of Smith's white teammate Chris Anderson's off-court decision making even though he was suspended from the NBA for two season for drug use. Moments later, Smith scored a basket and they showed his mother cheering in the crowd. "It's great his mother lives here with him, she is really helping him grow up and mature."
Let's just keep going, since there were a few more.
7) Miami fouled on purpose to stop the clock: "That has to be called an intentional foul." They don't have that rule in the NBA.
8) "There are so many more open shots in the NBA than in college that Stephen Curry will be a star." Actually, in terms of sheer accuracy, this was by far the most inaccurate.
9) "I don't like that kids can go to the NBA after one year of college. I think we should make a Blue Ribbon panel with Michael Jordan on it and let them decide which kids can go to the pros early."
Also worthy of note: spent much of the second quarter hawking a book that he wrote.
We have to be honest, we didn't make it all the way to end of the game with the sound on, so there could have been a lot of dumb things that we missed. By the way, we should mention that his partner, Dan Shulman, was equally bad. Combined, the two of them talked for approximately 2 hours 39 minutes and 50 seconds of a 2 hour and 40 minute broadcast. We can see the game going on. We don't watch a lot of college basketball - is there something different going on which requires the announcers to constantly be filling dead air? These two make Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino sound like Spalding Gray.
I apologize for the whole Dos Minutos staff - we'll try to bounce back next game.
------------------------------------
Before we go, wanted to post something from The Captain, in response to the recommendation of "Set the Ray to Jerry" by the Smashing Pumpkins:
I prefer Yes' "Heart of the Sunrise". This work will take you through so many changes that you're not sure where the song begins and ends. It runs the gamut from the 21st century urban confusion to dreamy pastoralism that, it seems, only the British can do. Squire slamming rigid bass lines off of Howe's intricate axe work and crowned with Anderson's unstrained falsetto as pure as virgin flesh. You can hear excerpts of this composition in the melancholy indie film Buffalo 66. Dos likes to criticize this band, one of my all time favs but what can you expect from someone who thinks the Arctic Monkeys are the next Beatles.
We didn't say that the Artic Monkeys were the next Beatles; what we said was that the Arctic Monkeys make the Beatles sound like a bunch of girls.
And, though they are dear, dear friends with an absolute passion for yodeling about the Queen, Yes sucks.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Spurs 91 Heat 84
6 Thoughts
1) Garden variety loss to the Spurs. Duncan collapsed the defense, shooters made threes, Ginobilli made one spectacular block of a Wade layup to seal the game down the stretch. The Spurs are so methodical, they have sucked the will to write about the game right out of me. So let's run through a couple other things quickly and call it a night.
2) Life is tough when you've got a giant pumpkin for a head, especially around the holidays: http://www.hoopsvibe.com/IMG/antoine_walker-arton21231-240x240.jpg. Look, everyone loves to take shots at 'Toine - he's a funny dude. Still, he helped win clinching Game 6 of the NBA Championship for Miami with a gutsy 3rd quarter. No one wants to see it come to this, a DUI while driving the streets of South Beach late Sunday night, waiting for someone to give you an NBA job, trying to find a strip club wannabee who has a clue who Antoine Walker was. I just built a new basketball hoop over the weekend for O. and P. Minutos. We haven't named the court for anyone yet - I think 'Toine has to get serious consideration. My favorite Antoine Walker moment: "Antoine, why do you shoot so many threes?" "Because there aren't any fours."
3) The coolest Smashing Pumpkins song that you have probably never heard: "Set the Ray to Jerry." Rolling, vaguely ominous, super-great baseline with Corgan yelping professions of true lust over the top. "Suck you - like sap from a tree..."
4) Spent much of the second quarter arguing with Mami Minutos about the difference between a floater and a runner. Mami wanted the determining factor to be modality of the shot: if you are in the air, it is a floater; if you are on the ground, it is a runner. That's not quite right, though, it is really more the release of the ball. If you float the shot softly, it is a floater; if you push it stronger, it is a runner. Certainly, your modality will primarily determine the release, so those two elements will usually be in concert with each other. Also, it has to be palm forward - anything palm up is a scoop shot, at best. We both agreed that Shawn Marion has combined the floater and the runner and transmogrified them in to a single abomination whereby he sprints towards the basket at approximately 70 miles an hour, leaves his feet, but going more forwards than upwards - like a long jump - and fires a line drive at the rim from an impossible angle. Call that what you like.
5) Seems like a good time to give fair warning. Miami plays Wednesday night in Denver. As part of an ESPN "experiment," Dick Vitale will be providing color commentary for the game. I'm not going to make a Dick Vitale joke, or rip the guy. He sucks, we all know it, he broadcasts to the lowest common denominator, and if he knows anything about basketball he should consider showing it once in a while...of course it goes without saying that he's also a dear, dear friend. Look, one of the joys of the NBA is that you don't have to listen to hyper-excitable nonsense. There is a certain competent rhythm to an NBA game that makes it enjoyable to watch and listen to. The players are better, the announcers are better, even the referees are better. For one night, fine, let Dick Vitale do the game. Just know that I will forever resent you, ESPN, for ruining my life.
6) From the future, as-yet-unnamed, novel set in the Mennonite community in the mountains of Belize, a combination of From Here to Eternity and any Graham Greene novel:
"She regarded him without aggression."
Or, alternately:
"She considered him, without aggression."
1) Garden variety loss to the Spurs. Duncan collapsed the defense, shooters made threes, Ginobilli made one spectacular block of a Wade layup to seal the game down the stretch. The Spurs are so methodical, they have sucked the will to write about the game right out of me. So let's run through a couple other things quickly and call it a night.
2) Life is tough when you've got a giant pumpkin for a head, especially around the holidays: http://www.hoopsvibe.com/IMG/antoine_walker-arton21231-240x240.jpg. Look, everyone loves to take shots at 'Toine - he's a funny dude. Still, he helped win clinching Game 6 of the NBA Championship for Miami with a gutsy 3rd quarter. No one wants to see it come to this, a DUI while driving the streets of South Beach late Sunday night, waiting for someone to give you an NBA job, trying to find a strip club wannabee who has a clue who Antoine Walker was. I just built a new basketball hoop over the weekend for O. and P. Minutos. We haven't named the court for anyone yet - I think 'Toine has to get serious consideration. My favorite Antoine Walker moment: "Antoine, why do you shoot so many threes?" "Because there aren't any fours."
3) The coolest Smashing Pumpkins song that you have probably never heard: "Set the Ray to Jerry." Rolling, vaguely ominous, super-great baseline with Corgan yelping professions of true lust over the top. "Suck you - like sap from a tree..."
4) Spent much of the second quarter arguing with Mami Minutos about the difference between a floater and a runner. Mami wanted the determining factor to be modality of the shot: if you are in the air, it is a floater; if you are on the ground, it is a runner. That's not quite right, though, it is really more the release of the ball. If you float the shot softly, it is a floater; if you push it stronger, it is a runner. Certainly, your modality will primarily determine the release, so those two elements will usually be in concert with each other. Also, it has to be palm forward - anything palm up is a scoop shot, at best. We both agreed that Shawn Marion has combined the floater and the runner and transmogrified them in to a single abomination whereby he sprints towards the basket at approximately 70 miles an hour, leaves his feet, but going more forwards than upwards - like a long jump - and fires a line drive at the rim from an impossible angle. Call that what you like.
5) Seems like a good time to give fair warning. Miami plays Wednesday night in Denver. As part of an ESPN "experiment," Dick Vitale will be providing color commentary for the game. I'm not going to make a Dick Vitale joke, or rip the guy. He sucks, we all know it, he broadcasts to the lowest common denominator, and if he knows anything about basketball he should consider showing it once in a while...of course it goes without saying that he's also a dear, dear friend. Look, one of the joys of the NBA is that you don't have to listen to hyper-excitable nonsense. There is a certain competent rhythm to an NBA game that makes it enjoyable to watch and listen to. The players are better, the announcers are better, even the referees are better. For one night, fine, let Dick Vitale do the game. Just know that I will forever resent you, ESPN, for ruining my life.
6) From the future, as-yet-unnamed, novel set in the Mennonite community in the mountains of Belize, a combination of From Here to Eternity and any Graham Greene novel:
"She regarded him without aggression."
Or, alternately:
"She considered him, without aggression."
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Heat 101 Nets 96 (OT)
6 Thoughts
1) Look - it was a bad game. For the second time in a row these two teams played each other on the second night of a back-to-back. Also, for the second time in Miami this season, both Devin Harris and Shawn Marion missed the same game. One wouldn't wonder about that normally, but after Bad Santa's `tryst' with Hedo Turkoglu last night, and with Devin Harris also a Western conference refugee, one might wonder if they have a `special' friendship. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The Nets had been 4-0 in overtime games this season, and seem to have won a disproportionate percentage of close games. At some point, they have to regress to the mean, one would think. It is a matter of statistical fact that good teams teams don't win close games with significantly more frequency than bad teams - it is the larger wins that separate them. Also, `close game success' doesn't transfer from season to season. In a general sense, it is an anomaly. In any case, 3 times in 32 games is enough Nets for me for a while. Each game has been a grind - somehow the pairing doesn't make for aesthetically pleasing basketball.
2) Dwyane Wade suffered through one of his worst games of the year for three and a half quarters. Similar to the first New Jersey game in Miami earlier this season. Came to life defensively in the fourth quarter and overtime, blocking a Brooks Lopez layup, a Vince Carter runner, then a Brooks Lopez dunk - all huge, game-changing plays. He is Miami's only defensive intimidator around the rim. And he's 6'4". Generated just enough offense - usually 1 on 3 or 4 - to pull the game out. On one huge bank shot and foul where he was knocked down, gave the ultimate tribute to fallen teammates Antoine Walker by pulling out the Antoine Shimmy. Ahhh, those were the halcyon days...
3) Mike Beasley - freed from the fourth quarter bench due to Marion's back spasms - contributed down the stretch with a jumper from the foul line, then took an offensive rebound away from Yi and earned two free throws, defended the pick and roll admirably (one of his weaker attributes), and, most dramatically, had a late block of Brooks Lopez at the rim. Finished with an efficient 7-12 for 17 points and 7 rebounds. When he gets his swagger going a little more, when he realizes that he really can't be guarded one on one by most forwards, when he realizes where the good shots are on the court for him, he is going to be a player. Nice night for a rookie to help finish a win. He needs to feel that success.
4) Old friend Keyon Dooling was a handful for the second time this season: 9-14 for 23 points and 7 assists. One hammer dunk in transition ahead of a Micheal Beasley block effort. A huge three at the end of regulation. He was most of the Nets offense throughout the night. Carter suffered through a 5-21, and Lopez was 6-17. In fairness to Lopez, of his 11 misses, approximately two thirds of them were blocked, so maybe they would have gone in. Time to develop a pump fake, Big Fella.
5) Carter's 5-21 was due, in large part, to Thunder Yak Diawara's oppressive defense. A little too oppressive at times, as he sent Carter to the line for an endless parade of free throws late in the game. Still, taking the body to Carter is the proper strategy, and for the most part it was successful. Not that it bothered Carter, who had several moments of mirth on the court with last year's teammate/nightmare Jamal Magloire. On the other end, Thunder Yak was unconscious, throwing in - and I mean throwing - 5 out of 8 threes. He kept Miami around in a dreadful first half. Also assisting in this effort was Chris Quinn, who, at least for the night, reclaimed his backup point guard spot, and dropped 3-5 shots for 7 points (and 3 assists) in 13 minutes of work. It warrants mention that both Diawara and Quinn have been riding the pine in recent games - to get in and contribute after such a stretch always means an automatic nod from Heat play-by-player Eric Reid to "staying ready." And every time Eric talks about "staying ready," he always mentions how former Heat forward and current assistant coach Keith Askins always "stayed ready." It may be a good time to mention that in the late 90's, Keith Askins nearly decapitated former Net forward Keith Van Horn with a brutal clothesline. He was ready for something...Back to Reid, he mentions "staying ready" so often, that now, every time he brings it up, he actually references how often he references it. Did we mention that Reid has never missed a Miami Heat game, home or away? Ever? In the history of the franchise? By the way, he's divorced...On a similar note:
6) Early in the game, we at Dos observed that most teams love to play at home when they get an opponent on a back-to-back. For Miami, it is more of a curse. When you play a New Jersey team in January, you want them in town a day or two early, soaking in the sun, out in the clubs at night. There isn't a better road trip in the NBA, or a more tangible home court advantage, except for the extreme racist hostility in Utah. Moments later, analyst extraordinaire Tony Fiorentino voiced the exact same thought. It was approximately the 600th time such a moment has occurred in 32 games this season. You really have to reevaluate your life, Mami Minutos argued, when you are on the exact same wave length as Senor Fiorentino. It is a fair point. I am thinking of growing a bushy moustache just to complete the effect, although I am pretty sure that I still can not.
-----------------
To the one reader who attempted to crack a light on the Sam Davis story by pointing out the timeline didn't quite work - you got me, sir, I made it up. I hope you don' think less of me.
Also, to the reader (from Scotland) who worried that I may be getting a call from the Davis estate, I say that would be just the sort of publicity this blog needs.
1) Look - it was a bad game. For the second time in a row these two teams played each other on the second night of a back-to-back. Also, for the second time in Miami this season, both Devin Harris and Shawn Marion missed the same game. One wouldn't wonder about that normally, but after Bad Santa's `tryst' with Hedo Turkoglu last night, and with Devin Harris also a Western conference refugee, one might wonder if they have a `special' friendship. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The Nets had been 4-0 in overtime games this season, and seem to have won a disproportionate percentage of close games. At some point, they have to regress to the mean, one would think. It is a matter of statistical fact that good teams teams don't win close games with significantly more frequency than bad teams - it is the larger wins that separate them. Also, `close game success' doesn't transfer from season to season. In a general sense, it is an anomaly. In any case, 3 times in 32 games is enough Nets for me for a while. Each game has been a grind - somehow the pairing doesn't make for aesthetically pleasing basketball.
2) Dwyane Wade suffered through one of his worst games of the year for three and a half quarters. Similar to the first New Jersey game in Miami earlier this season. Came to life defensively in the fourth quarter and overtime, blocking a Brooks Lopez layup, a Vince Carter runner, then a Brooks Lopez dunk - all huge, game-changing plays. He is Miami's only defensive intimidator around the rim. And he's 6'4". Generated just enough offense - usually 1 on 3 or 4 - to pull the game out. On one huge bank shot and foul where he was knocked down, gave the ultimate tribute to fallen teammates Antoine Walker by pulling out the Antoine Shimmy. Ahhh, those were the halcyon days...
3) Mike Beasley - freed from the fourth quarter bench due to Marion's back spasms - contributed down the stretch with a jumper from the foul line, then took an offensive rebound away from Yi and earned two free throws, defended the pick and roll admirably (one of his weaker attributes), and, most dramatically, had a late block of Brooks Lopez at the rim. Finished with an efficient 7-12 for 17 points and 7 rebounds. When he gets his swagger going a little more, when he realizes that he really can't be guarded one on one by most forwards, when he realizes where the good shots are on the court for him, he is going to be a player. Nice night for a rookie to help finish a win. He needs to feel that success.
4) Old friend Keyon Dooling was a handful for the second time this season: 9-14 for 23 points and 7 assists. One hammer dunk in transition ahead of a Micheal Beasley block effort. A huge three at the end of regulation. He was most of the Nets offense throughout the night. Carter suffered through a 5-21, and Lopez was 6-17. In fairness to Lopez, of his 11 misses, approximately two thirds of them were blocked, so maybe they would have gone in. Time to develop a pump fake, Big Fella.
5) Carter's 5-21 was due, in large part, to Thunder Yak Diawara's oppressive defense. A little too oppressive at times, as he sent Carter to the line for an endless parade of free throws late in the game. Still, taking the body to Carter is the proper strategy, and for the most part it was successful. Not that it bothered Carter, who had several moments of mirth on the court with last year's teammate/nightmare Jamal Magloire. On the other end, Thunder Yak was unconscious, throwing in - and I mean throwing - 5 out of 8 threes. He kept Miami around in a dreadful first half. Also assisting in this effort was Chris Quinn, who, at least for the night, reclaimed his backup point guard spot, and dropped 3-5 shots for 7 points (and 3 assists) in 13 minutes of work. It warrants mention that both Diawara and Quinn have been riding the pine in recent games - to get in and contribute after such a stretch always means an automatic nod from Heat play-by-player Eric Reid to "staying ready." And every time Eric talks about "staying ready," he always mentions how former Heat forward and current assistant coach Keith Askins always "stayed ready." It may be a good time to mention that in the late 90's, Keith Askins nearly decapitated former Net forward Keith Van Horn with a brutal clothesline. He was ready for something...Back to Reid, he mentions "staying ready" so often, that now, every time he brings it up, he actually references how often he references it. Did we mention that Reid has never missed a Miami Heat game, home or away? Ever? In the history of the franchise? By the way, he's divorced...On a similar note:
6) Early in the game, we at Dos observed that most teams love to play at home when they get an opponent on a back-to-back. For Miami, it is more of a curse. When you play a New Jersey team in January, you want them in town a day or two early, soaking in the sun, out in the clubs at night. There isn't a better road trip in the NBA, or a more tangible home court advantage, except for the extreme racist hostility in Utah. Moments later, analyst extraordinaire Tony Fiorentino voiced the exact same thought. It was approximately the 600th time such a moment has occurred in 32 games this season. You really have to reevaluate your life, Mami Minutos argued, when you are on the exact same wave length as Senor Fiorentino. It is a fair point. I am thinking of growing a bushy moustache just to complete the effect, although I am pretty sure that I still can not.
-----------------
To the one reader who attempted to crack a light on the Sam Davis story by pointing out the timeline didn't quite work - you got me, sir, I made it up. I hope you don' think less of me.
Also, to the reader (from Scotland) who worried that I may be getting a call from the Davis estate, I say that would be just the sort of publicity this blog needs.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Magic 86 Heat 76
6 Thoughts
1) Grinding road loss against a top five NBA team. Too much size - Orlando dominated the boards and shot 20 more free throws than Miami. No complaints - Miami couldn't get inside. Either Wade made a jumper, or they didn't score. It is hard to see Orlando winning the East - if they lack something it is one electric athlete who can create his own shot off the dribble. But Dwight Howard is a tremendous force inside, they surround him with quality three point shooters, and defend very professionally. I don't think they can beat Cleveland or Boston in a 7 game series, but they are clearly the next best team in the East. Which might also make them the third best team in basketball, although I would put Lakers 3, Orlando 4.
2) Dwyane Wade didn't even really try to go to the basket - he 16 made of 29 jumpers, essentially. Dwight Howard is a significant deterrent, and Wade showed more respect for him than he does any other big man in basketball. After three quarters of avoiding him, he finally challenged Howard with a runner early in the fourth quarter and sure enough, Howard got up and tipped it away. He just turned 23 years old - that's ridiculous. http://www.footworkshop.com/Dwight%20Howard.jpg
3) Good looking rookie on Orlando: Courtney Lee. Good size for a shooting guard, good lift on his jumper, mature defensive game. Worth mentioning that he spent four years in college, and is older than Dwight Howard. He's a player, though. He's a potential starter, though probably not a star.
4) We at Dos Minutos take the occasional shot at Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion's offensive skills. But he is terrific defensive player - the best on Miami. And though he came to Miami with a reputation as a malcontent, he seems to play hard every night, and there have been no reports of trouble with him in the locker room. Watching him, he seems to be a bit of a space shot - relaxed and smiling, but not that engaged with the world around him, including teammates. Harmless spaciness. Tonight's pregame milling around, though, showed a whole new Matrix as he held a warm and engaging chat with Magicians Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu. They could have been the Three Goofy-Looking Musketeers the way they palled around. We at Dos have never seen Shawn so happy. We racked our brain to think of a connection between the three of them - they are all forwards of roughly the same age who played on the West Coast - so maybe they are just friendly from past battles. It seemed like more, though, especially when halfway through the game Marion bit on an upfake from Turkoglu, landed on him for a foul, and immediately apologized, to which Turkoglu responded by briefly caressing Marion's face. I haven't seen that in a while. These guys are really friendly.
5) Speaking of close friendships, Bad Boys with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence is playing at the Dos Hacienda right now. Those two guys were gay, right? That's the whole point of the movie, right? It is like Chasing Amy, only they stopped the movie before the embarrassing scene where Affleck tries to convince Jason Lee to have sex with him, right?
6) Okay, so a lot of people have been asking what the deal was with the Skins game between me and Sammy Davis Jr. First of all, it was a long time ago: I was a teenager, and Sammy was still alive. My uncle was a teaching golf pro who worked at the Desert Inn in Las Vegas, where Sammy had a contract to perform several weeks a year. One time I went out to visit my uncle, and while he was working one morning, I was hitting balls on the range. Who shows up a few spots down from me but The Candyman himself. I didn't want to interrupt him, but after a few minutes I wander over and kind of wait for him to take a break, and I say to him, "Mr. Davis, I just want to tell you what a big fan I am, and how much your music has meant to me and my family over the years." Which was a total lie - I was 16, I liked Van Halen and the Stones. Anyways, he looks at me for a second and just says, "Shit, kid - do you wanna play?"
So, of course I take the offer and we go out to the first tee and we decide to play Skins, $10 a hole. I couldn't even afford that, but I thought I could take the guy. Three holes in, the guy is spraying balls all over the course, I have two skins, and I can see him getting frustrated. That's when he starts kicking his ball out of bad lies when he thinks I'm not looking. For like two holes I let it ride, then he makes a ridiculous putt on six to win a skin and, worse, cocks his finger at me and gives me a "Gotcha!"
So I am, like, Nice putt, but on eight I see him kick out of a bad lie again, and as we are walking up to the green I'm like, "Dude, that is uncool to be kicking your ball." And he is like, "what are you talking about," and I'm like, "Fuck, Sam, I've seen you do it like 5 or 6 times, just cut the shit."
So then we get in to it a bit - he is like, "you didn't see shit, kid" and we go back and forth until I kind of lose my temper, which is where the story gets controversial. He claimed - with a couple of corroborating witness who were playing behind us - that I used the `N' word. That's unthinkable - I would never do that. But if I did, it was only because he was so full of crap and made me totally lose my cool.
Anyways, years later we could look back on it and laugh, although he was a such a bullshit artist that he would never admit to changing his ball positions. Whatever. I prefer to remember him for the music, and for being one of the few devout black Jews...
1) Grinding road loss against a top five NBA team. Too much size - Orlando dominated the boards and shot 20 more free throws than Miami. No complaints - Miami couldn't get inside. Either Wade made a jumper, or they didn't score. It is hard to see Orlando winning the East - if they lack something it is one electric athlete who can create his own shot off the dribble. But Dwight Howard is a tremendous force inside, they surround him with quality three point shooters, and defend very professionally. I don't think they can beat Cleveland or Boston in a 7 game series, but they are clearly the next best team in the East. Which might also make them the third best team in basketball, although I would put Lakers 3, Orlando 4.
2) Dwyane Wade didn't even really try to go to the basket - he 16 made of 29 jumpers, essentially. Dwight Howard is a significant deterrent, and Wade showed more respect for him than he does any other big man in basketball. After three quarters of avoiding him, he finally challenged Howard with a runner early in the fourth quarter and sure enough, Howard got up and tipped it away. He just turned 23 years old - that's ridiculous. http://www.footworkshop.com/Dwight%20Howard.jpg
3) Good looking rookie on Orlando: Courtney Lee. Good size for a shooting guard, good lift on his jumper, mature defensive game. Worth mentioning that he spent four years in college, and is older than Dwight Howard. He's a player, though. He's a potential starter, though probably not a star.
4) We at Dos Minutos take the occasional shot at Shawn "Bad Santa" Marion's offensive skills. But he is terrific defensive player - the best on Miami. And though he came to Miami with a reputation as a malcontent, he seems to play hard every night, and there have been no reports of trouble with him in the locker room. Watching him, he seems to be a bit of a space shot - relaxed and smiling, but not that engaged with the world around him, including teammates. Harmless spaciness. Tonight's pregame milling around, though, showed a whole new Matrix as he held a warm and engaging chat with Magicians Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu. They could have been the Three Goofy-Looking Musketeers the way they palled around. We at Dos have never seen Shawn so happy. We racked our brain to think of a connection between the three of them - they are all forwards of roughly the same age who played on the West Coast - so maybe they are just friendly from past battles. It seemed like more, though, especially when halfway through the game Marion bit on an upfake from Turkoglu, landed on him for a foul, and immediately apologized, to which Turkoglu responded by briefly caressing Marion's face. I haven't seen that in a while. These guys are really friendly.
5) Speaking of close friendships, Bad Boys with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence is playing at the Dos Hacienda right now. Those two guys were gay, right? That's the whole point of the movie, right? It is like Chasing Amy, only they stopped the movie before the embarrassing scene where Affleck tries to convince Jason Lee to have sex with him, right?
6) Okay, so a lot of people have been asking what the deal was with the Skins game between me and Sammy Davis Jr. First of all, it was a long time ago: I was a teenager, and Sammy was still alive. My uncle was a teaching golf pro who worked at the Desert Inn in Las Vegas, where Sammy had a contract to perform several weeks a year. One time I went out to visit my uncle, and while he was working one morning, I was hitting balls on the range. Who shows up a few spots down from me but The Candyman himself. I didn't want to interrupt him, but after a few minutes I wander over and kind of wait for him to take a break, and I say to him, "Mr. Davis, I just want to tell you what a big fan I am, and how much your music has meant to me and my family over the years." Which was a total lie - I was 16, I liked Van Halen and the Stones. Anyways, he looks at me for a second and just says, "Shit, kid - do you wanna play?"
So, of course I take the offer and we go out to the first tee and we decide to play Skins, $10 a hole. I couldn't even afford that, but I thought I could take the guy. Three holes in, the guy is spraying balls all over the course, I have two skins, and I can see him getting frustrated. That's when he starts kicking his ball out of bad lies when he thinks I'm not looking. For like two holes I let it ride, then he makes a ridiculous putt on six to win a skin and, worse, cocks his finger at me and gives me a "Gotcha!"
So I am, like, Nice putt, but on eight I see him kick out of a bad lie again, and as we are walking up to the green I'm like, "Dude, that is uncool to be kicking your ball." And he is like, "what are you talking about," and I'm like, "Fuck, Sam, I've seen you do it like 5 or 6 times, just cut the shit."
So then we get in to it a bit - he is like, "you didn't see shit, kid" and we go back and forth until I kind of lose my temper, which is where the story gets controversial. He claimed - with a couple of corroborating witness who were playing behind us - that I used the `N' word. That's unthinkable - I would never do that. But if I did, it was only because he was so full of crap and made me totally lose my cool.
Anyways, years later we could look back on it and laugh, although he was a such a bullshit artist that he would never admit to changing his ball positions. Whatever. I prefer to remember him for the music, and for being one of the few devout black Jews...
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