6 Thoughts
1) Whoops, have to push back those vacations plans a couple more nights. Does it really mean anything to win a game down 0-3? Not really, no. The Heat are still going to lose the series. But tell it to Dwyane Wade...
2)...because he was ridiculous. If this ends up being his last game ever in Miami, at least playing for the Heat, he went out with one of his best: 46 points on 16-24 from the floor, including 5-7 threes. Hit 3 threes in the first three minutes of the fourth quarter to turn a six point deficit into a Heat lead - it was jussssst about time to pack up the gym bags for the season, and he went bananas. In Casa Minutos, the gym bags had already been packed, and loaded on to the team bus, and I was taking a snooze in the back, back seat (you know, where the cool kids sit) - but when Wade made his fourth three of the quarter, and went past 40 points, even I got sucked back in - it would have been a shame to lose a game in which DWade played so well, and tried so hard, even when it didn't really, really matter. "I think they ought to try to re-sign this guy," ABC broadcaster Jeff Van Gundy chuckled during the Wade outburst, "I almost stormed the court myself after that last three."
3) It was almost certainly the last Heat game in Miami for The President, Quentin Richardson. Eventful first quarter for Q: 3 triples, 13 points, and one argument with his nemesis Paul Pierce. Pres finished with 20 for the game. Few guys on the short stint have been as popular in Miami as The Pres. Eric Murdoch had the famous "throat slit" during his one playoff run against the Knicks - that was good; Lamar Odom was solid in his year, but not lovable; the first Skip Alston run was fun - but Quentin probably surpassed them all. He came from nowhere to be a productive shooter and defender for this team, as well as a hype man for fellow Chicagoan Wade. At this time last year, it was more likely that Quentin Richardson would be out of the league right now than a starter on a 5th seed in the playoffs. When the Heat acquired him this offseason, no one believed in him - except me. We've had a good run together, you and I, QRich. I'll always love you.
4) The Heat are now 2-0 this season in games in which Mike Beasley is wandering around the basket area late in the fourth quarter and an airball happens to come right to him, and he puts it in the bucket for the biggest hoop of the game. First there was the early season win over Orlando, and then today's reverse layup flip that steadied the Heat cause during Boston's last run. 15 and 5 for Supercool. I think I have written more about Jim Buckets than all other Heat players combined this year. He's that kind of guy. I wish him all the best, but ideally, on another team - unfortunately, he'll probably be back if only because he has absolutely zero trade value around the league. Don't take it personal, though, Mike - I'll always love you, too. You may be a mess up, but you're kind of our mess up. By the way, picking you in the draft two years ago instead of Brook Lopez or Russell Westbrook probably killed the franchise...
5) Best play of the game: In the second quarter when Emcee Chalmers pushed the ball up the court in transition, while Beasley sprinted the wing with Big Baby Davis in hot pursuit. A step or two inside the three point line, Baby suddenly got his feet tangled and, going full speed, had all 6'8", 330 pounds of him crash to the floor, and careen forward in a crazy body roll that approximated what it would look like if you pushed a (full) oil drum off of a cliff, while Emcee flipped the ball up in the air and Beas power dunked it. Anytime a fat man hits the floor going full speed and rolls that far, let's be honest - it's going to be the play of the game, even if it doesn't result in a crushing dunk.
6) So, went out a comedy show tonight at the Broward County Hard Rock - Jim Gaffigan. He's a pasty, tame white guy who tells jokes about Hot Pockets. You would recognize him if you saw him. More importantly, probably our favorite Dos reader, Rick, was amongst our group, and he had two requests: One, could he have a "Minutos" name? Yes, I guess he can - from now on we are going to call him R.Minutos. He's our favorite reader, after all. Two, R.Minutos is, ummmm, newly single, and he was explaining dating life on the "single adult circuit," to another friend, E, and myself - important, because E and I decided we should each take the summer off from our marriages and be single ourselves. Anyways, R.Minutos asked me to please, please tell the following story in the blog - he claims it helps him gets girls. We are happy to take requests here - I'm just going to paraphrase it in his words, as he told it to E and me: "So, I have this friend who is an extremely wealthy bond trader, literally worth hundreds of millions of dollars. A couple of years ago, a bunch of us, including him, had to go to New York City for a bachelor's party. He owns a plane, so he flew all of us up on the plane, and we bring the bachelor out to a really nice strip club in New York City, but not Scores...What?...No, not Scores...I don't know, what's the difference?...Just not Scores, okay?...So, our friend, he goes up to the manager, and tells him he wants to take the club over immediately, throw the best bachelor party ever, have the hottest women, and all that kind of thing [editor's note: this seems like something you should plan out in advance]. So the manager clears out this back room, and my friend gives him, literally, fifty thousand dollars, which the manager changes in to funny money, and gives each of us five thousand - that's a lot of lap dances...So all the hottest girls in the club are dancing for us, and we are showering them with funny money, until finally I notice one guy sitting off in the corner of the room, a guy not with us, and he has one dancer with him, but like a day-time shift dancer, if you know what I mean. And a little while later the waitress comes over, and says, 'that gentleman was having some of these girls dance for him, and he would appreciate it if you sent them back,' and I was drunk and hyped up, so I tell the waitress to go back over there and tell him to f-off, which she does. So this guy, upon hearing the news, gets up and walks over into the middle of our party - Jesus, it's Jean-Claude Van Damme! So, he's like, That's not cool, these girls were dancing for me, and I'm like, How much did you pay them, and he's like, Five hundred each, and I look at the girl straddling me, and I'm like, Here's $1500 to tell Miyagi here to get lost! I mean, I'm way drunk. And Van Damme is like, Look, man, I don't want any trouble, and I'm like, Well, it looks like you found some anyways, and he sneers at us, and my group kind of calls him a couple of Chinese slurs - just 'cause the whole karate thing, you know - and he f-bombs us back, and so I get up off the couch and kind of step to him - by the way, he's about 5'4" - and he suddenly swings a back kick at me which, due to my recent boxing training, I'm able to "wax off" and block. At this point, the bouncers all rush in and grab Van Damme, and with a slight struggle, hustle him out of there. I go to sit down, still amp'd up, and sit right on something hard - I reach down and it is Van Damme's shoe - it flew off when I blocked his kick! So, now, I have Van Damme's shoe sitting on my mantle at home as a souvenir. When girls see that, and hear the story? I'm telling you, man, you don't even want to know what can go down at that point..."
Dos comments: I am pretty sure Miyagi was Japanese, not Chinese...
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Well, unexpectedly, we'll see you Tuesday night - one more time. We'll see if R.Minutos has any more romantic stories that he'd like me to tell - ladies, I can probably get you a date if you email me at the blog here, but please, please, I can't emphasize this enough, only do so if you're hot!
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