6 Thoughts
1) "Okay, guys - we're tied, there are 20 seconds to go, and Miami has the ball. Remember what we talked about before the game - late in games on big possessions they like to run this simple play where Dwyane Wade drives hard right, draws defenders, and then kicks it across to the left baseline for an open 14 footer by a spotting up Udonis Haslem. They've played like 500 games together and run that play like 9,000 times. So whatever you do, don't get sucked off Udonis Haslem, you must stay at home on Udonis Haslem. Ready? Okay, Sixers on three: one, two, three, Sixers!" ..........."Uh-oh."
2) If this is the last regular season game Udonis Haslem ever plays for the Heat - and there is a good chance it will be - it has been a beautiful career. He won a title in his hometown; he carried himself with dignity and grace; he played every possession - every possession - as hard as he could; and over the years he knocked down big shot after big shot. Including tonight. A fitting way to go out. Dwyane Wade is the best Heat player ever - by a mile, but Udonis is the guy. He's the guy.
3) Okay, so Udonis banged the jumper - in Philly, second night of a road back-to-back - to win the game, and Miami has clinched no worse than the sixth spot in the playoffs with one game left. They will play either Boston or Atlanta in the first round - it seems we won't know until Wednesday, the last day of the season. I think we all prefer Atlanta - but just be glad that we won tonight, and it can't be Orlando. This team can't win more than one round, and even a win in the first round would be a pretty big upset. All you can do is get your mind right, get on DWade (and Udonis') back, and see where it takes you.
4) Last week these two teams matched up and one of the highlights was maybe the worst combined power forward matchup this blog had ever seen. Tonight was the rematch of Elton Brand vs. Mike Beasley: these two put the "ill" in "Philadelphia." A recap: Elton Brand - first of all, he is in the top five of overweight players in the NBA. Before last year, he signed like a 20 year 800 million dollar contract - so thanks for caring and getting in shape. Secondly, he is the most blatant "carry-er" in the league - he looks to back down by taking a dribble, cupping the ball in his hand and holding it upright in his palm while trying to ass-bash his backwards one step, dribble again, repeat, lower a shoulder, try to make a fallaway jumper. Literally - literally - you could call a travel on him every time he dribbles the ball. I think they don't because he can't make the shot anyways. He did make 7-12 jump shots tonight, but that was mostly because his rival Beasley kept wandering down under the basket in transition, and Brand made a few open 8 footers. Elton is 6'8", maybe 290 pounds, and he managed 4 rebounds in 32 minutes - and one was his own missed two footer that he caught. Also had a shot blocked by the land-locked Quentin Richardson. Late in the game, on a key possession, he went to the "traveling ass-man" move, and launched a horrific turnaround that missed so badly it caused Tony Fiorentino to exclaim, "Oh, man, what kind of shot was that?" So that was his night. Mike Beasley, for his part, okay - he did keep losing Brand and allowing open 8 footers. But at least he did come out aggressively, three times in the first quarter driving by Brand for 2 dunks and a foul. Mike Beasley isn't exactly...let's just say there are quicker players out there than Mike - M.Minutos noticed on one drive that Brand tried to move his feet, but his body was so heavy that it looked like he needed to rock himself back and forth a couple of times to get some momentum. When Mike's blowing by you these days, it might be time to start keeping an eye on the carb intake. Or, it would be if you cared...Mike had 15 points and 6 rebounds in 31 minutes, but he also twice - once with under three minutes to go - provided no resistance whatsoever on Jason Kapono - Jason Kapono! - drive-and-finishes at the rim. Look, if anyone has the time and skill to just splice together every possession of Beasley and Brand playing against each other this season, I promise you I would pay $100 bucks for it. It is just what James Naismith had in mind when he invented the game of basketball, except the exact opposite.
5) Wednesday night is Fan Appreciation Night in Miami, for the last game of the season against the New Jersey Nets. The Heat will show appreciation for their fans by not even considering playing Dwyane Wade, Udonis Haslem, or Jermaine O'Neal in a meaningless game against a team that is 12-69 for the season. Ummm - thanks?
6) Okay, everyone can stop emailing me: yes, I did confuse the Backstreet Boys with New Kids on the Block - Jesus, you all who sent me emails about this are nerds! Sorry for liking cool bands, and not teeny-bopper pop. Which brings me to tonight's list: my three favorite groups ever (from # 3 up to # 1):
3 - Led Zeppelin
2 - Sugar Ray
1 - Merle Haggard
Wait - what? Oh, Merle Haggard is not a band, it's an actual guy? Oh, I thought it was like Jethro Tull or Pink Floyd...Umm, okay, I'll go with Hall & Oates at # 1. Loved Darryl Hall - they call that Blue Eyed Soul, you know. Not too sure why. And Oates was rock solid on the, on the whatever he played - I'm assuming it was guitar or bass. By the way, The Captain turned out to be a big fan of Merle Haggard's when I brought him up this afternoon at Dos M. Int'l HQs: "I think he did time."
-----
Side note: set an all-time Dos Minutos record tonight by watching my 80th game of the season, breaking last year's record of 79. Not all of the games were, ummm, good. But like The Situation says, "Five 2s equals a 10!"
Back with you Wednesday night for the last game of the season. If for some reason you feel like you need to go to the game to see Kenny Hasbrouck and Yakhouba Diawara take on Terrance Williams and Yi, God bless you, you're a better fan than I am. But even if he is just wearing street clothes, show Udonis some love. He has "The Right Stuff!" - Quick: NKOTB or Backstreet?!!!
-----
