Dos Minutos Summer Update, pt. 1
Hey, what is up, people? I hope everyone is enjoying the summer so far. To all the people who continue to email us even though the season is over - thanks, except for the ones telling us that we should make posts during the summer. This is our off-season - eighty-two dumb posts over a six month span wasn't enough? Trying to rest up, re-charge the batteries, so we can come back for a new season of inanity in the fall. We ARE watching the playoffs, though, for those who have asked. They have been awesome so far – we picked the Celtics in 7.
That’s not our focus for the summer, though - a couple of people have asked what we do when the season is over. Well, first of all, we are taking the summer off from basketball as soon as the Finals end. Keep sending emails, just don’t make them about basketball, because we won’t answer them, even though we love you. We don’t know where any of the free agents are going, by the way, and don't care too much (Dwyane Wade should go to the Knicks, though, and bring Chris Bosh with him). We are off basketball until October 1st – we will reassess from that point. Might have to take a season off at some point, to keep it fresh. If you are lucky, it will be this upcoming season...
Instead, here is what we are doing this summer. Changing up what we do, and how we do it - at least a little - with the caveat that we are always keeping our minds right. Unlike, say, Michael Bea--never mind. Just, please email us about these topics, or other interesting things.
1) We are exclusively listening to Southern Rock. Skynyrd, Allman Brothers, Molly Hatchet, Drive-by Truckers, et al. Also, talking in a Southern drawl. You might ask, “Aren’t you from Connecticut, and wear khakis with no pleats, and read the New York Times,” and I would say to you that I did do those things, but not now. Now, I take my time and don’t live too fast; troubles come, but they will pass, because I’m a simple kind of man. You feel me?
2) Watching “Dexter” on DVD. Last summer we watched “The Wire.” “The Wire” is the greatest show ever in Casa Minutos. “Dexter” is getting pretty darn close, though – The Ice Truck Killer was cold-blooded in season one, dude, and I haven’t slept for the last three nights worrying about how Dexter is going to extricate himself from this mess in season two. Plus, the show is set in Miami (the greatest city on Earth), it is colorful, and the guy who plays Dexter is a genius – perfect parts creepy and likable at the same time.
3) Joe Flacco. Flacco, dude.
4) Savannah. Going there for a week this summer. If you know anything about it, holler at me.
5) The show “Friends.” Somehow it is always on during playoff games, and it is now my go-to commercial-time show. Hard to believe that in the very recent past, this show was considered funny – it's really creepy and uncomfortable to watch now, just for the facial mugging alone. Another thing: I didn’t watch it the first time around because I am a heterosexual male – holy Jesus, is that show gay! I love it! I’m not sure I’ll ever watch the series all the way through, though, so I need someone to tell me – did Chandler and the guido-y guy end up together or not?
6) World Cup. I hate to say it, but I’m kind of excited. Saw a quick bit of the kickoff concert featuring – you guessed it – Will.i.am and Black-Eyed Peas! I’m not saying I felt this way, but during their "set," it sure looked like a lot of the people in the crowd were thinking that maybe apartheid wasn’t so bad, after all. And not just the white people, either!
7) I need to get some old-school, Ban-lon style shirts – tight, with a deep v-neck and big-ish collars. Like an astronaut in the 60s would have worn when he was hanging out on Cocoa Beach . Go watch the old movie “The Right Stuff” if you don’t know what I mean. Anyone know where I can get that? It would help if the store was in Miami, or somewhere in that vicinity. Also, I need some muscles to fill the shirt out like an astronaut on Cocoa Beach in the 60s.
8) Cool books – we already have several suggestions from readers. So far we have already read “Children of God,” by Cormac McCarthy, and are now working on “Last Night in Twisted River” by John Irving. Really enjoyed CMC’s – it’s an old one. I haven’t truly liked a John Irving book since “Owen Meany,” and I have skipped the last couple, but I am feeling this one so far. Still – does every John Irving book have to prominently feature bears, “big-boned” women, and wrestling? Have to? At what point does he just say, You know what, I think I have milked this for all it is worth? Great story-teller, though.
9) Trying to, you know, spend some time with the kids.
10) Finally, watching a lot of crappy tv about aliens. At Casa Minutos we recently changed from satellite to cable - I don't know where any of the channels are located now, which makes for a whole new world of tv. Last night M.Minutos and I watched 30 minutes of a show about probable alien intervention in some of the great achievements of humankind. Specifically, the pyramids. The alien "experts" on the show asserted that aliens had to have landed on Earth thousands of years ago to show people all over the planet how to build things in the shape of a pyramid because, their theory went, people from a thousand years ago were complete idiots and never could have figured out that something that is broad at the bottom and skinny at the top is a more stable structure than, say, something shaped like a banana stood on its end, even though a toddler figures this out in about five minutes the first time you give him a set of legos. One expert kept referring to the aliens as "the guardians of the sky," who would periodically come to Earth to tell us how to do things. Trippy! Other things they influenced, according to the experts: Stonehenge, Easter Island, Niagara Falls (no way can water just fall that fast on its own), and Michael Jordan drafting Kwame Brown #1 overall while he was running the Bullets (the aliens thought Kwame had a better motor). I don't even know what channel it was on - but if you see a guy who looks like a French Matthew Broderick talking about aliens: Hit record on your DVR immediately!
Everybody have a good summer! We'll be back at you soon enough.
