6 Thoughts
1) Well, at least we know the matchups now: Dwyane Wade and LeBron James against...Erik Spoelstra and Chis Bosh? Ahhhh, that one was a killer loss - the Celtics were ready to go away. Not only that, I'm watching this series live action instead of on dvr - who knew a playoff game takes 4 and a half hours to play? Let's go - but quickly, 'cuz I need to be fresh as a daisy for Mother's Day tomorrow! Come on!
2) Full disclosure: I'm writing this while watching "Mean Girls," which may be gay, but I'm only watching it because the I don't get the station that "Red Dawn" is showing on now...Okay, the Heat have played eight playoff games in this postseason so far. Eight times they have started Zydrunas Ilgauskas at center and Mike Bibby at point guard. Seven times they have been down digits inside of six minutes to start the game. Repeatedly, fans have pointed this out, the media has pointed this out, even the players have pointed this out - but when asked about it, Coach Spo generally says something along the lines of "We need to figure it out." Spo, great news: I figured it out! It doesn't work! It's a bad lineup! CHANGE IT! Again tonight, down 9 points before the first time out. There are a million basketball-y type reasons why it doesn't work, but the essence of it is this: either you play 3 against 5 on offense, or Z and Bibs have to shoot the ball. Tonight they shot the ball, and combined for a 1-7. That's dreadful. And the "1" was an impossible Z turnaround, fallaway prayer!
3) Ohhh, Rachel McAdams just figured out that Lindsay Lohan tricked her about the energy bars! It's about to go down! ...In any case, Miami got down big - again - subbed in Joel Anthony - again, and took the hell off, pounding the Celtics in the second quarter, and grabbing the halftime lead. They looked like they had weathered Boston's desperate push, and had re-asserted themselves as the younger, more physical, more aggressive team: 10 points and 7 rebounds for Joel in the half, by the way, along with about 6 strong contests at the rim that led to missed Celtic layups - he was the best player on the court in the first twenty-four minutes. Myself - I thought the series was over, myself: At halftime, it seemed reasonable that Spo was not going to start the second half with Z and Bibs out there again - after all, he had started Joel in the second half in a couple of playoff games already - and I thought Miami would kill them...Exxxxxcept, he did start Z and Bibs again, and Miami did get down 10 instantly again - within 4 minutes, I believe, and that seemed to pretty much suck the wind out of everybody, and give the Celtics, who at the end of the second quarter had looked like they were ready to start their offseason, life. Ballgame. If I were running a professional basketball team, we'd probably run through somewhere between thirty and seventy coaches in a season, with my speciality being the on-court, in-between-quarters firing. But honestly, Spo's stubborness (word? stubborninity?) sucked so much spirit out of me tonight, I probably would have let him finish the game, since it was over anyways. I wouldn't have let him take the team bus back to the hotel, though, and he certainly wouldn't be coaching game 4.
4) Haaaa! - Tim Meadows is always hilarious!...Chris. Bosh. (note: for those of you scoring at home, somewhere around the fiftieth game of the season, I started going long "o" on Bosh). There have been some low, low points in the season for Chris. We're not even going to joke about it here - just point out that Chris scored 6 points on 1-6 shooting, with 5 rebounds in 30 spastic, flailing minutes, before Spo finally yakked him for good halfway through the fourth quarter. Meanwhile, his cover, Kevin Garnett, had 28 points and 18 rebounds. On back-to-back possessions early in the fourth, Chris watched a defensive rebound float quietly by his ear, the Celtics recovered it, and direct-lined a pass to an open Ray Allen for a triple to put them up 16, and then Chris passed up an open 18 footer, tried to swing it to the wing, where it was deflected by Jeff Green, came right back towards Chris, who reached for it, but then had it ripped out of his hands by Rajon Rondo, who ran down and dunked it on the other end with Chris in ineffectual pursuit. In fact, let's just put it this way: Kevin Garnett was like Mean Girl Rachel McAdams, running roughshod over Chris Bosh's idiotic Lacey Chabert! Udonis Haslem hasn't played since November, just recently started practicing, probably has no lift, no timing, and still, as M.Minutos pointed out during the meltdown, "He would have to be better than Chris Bosh." This past week, I heard Udonis on the radio claiming that Dwyane is a much friendlier person than he is, "I hate a lot more people." I'm pretty sure one of the guys he hates may be Chris Bosh.
5) Commercial for "Hangover II" on now - who thinks the Asian dude is funny? He was easily the worst part of "Hangover," right? The only bad part, really. I was embarrassed for him, his performance was so atrocious, and he ground the movie to a halt whenever he was on the screen. We all agree he's not funny, right? How did he make it in to the second one?...Rajon Rondo either hyperextended or dislocated his elbow during a nasty third quarter fall. The Celtics training staff walked him to the locker room, trailed closely by ABC sideline reporter Lisa Salters, who suddenly got REPELLED by a Boston Garden security guard. "I said 'NO ONE,'" the guard told Salters as she tried to slide by to get a report on the injury. The funny part? That security guard? Mr. McDevitt!!!!
6) Sorry, sorry, sorry, that was an inside joke that only one or two people got. But if Spo doesn't care about alienating his own team with his starting lineup, I don't care about alienating my readers with inside jokes. And I can afford to lose a reader or two because, guess what, the Heat just gained a new fan this week! Tania writes in to say:
" ...speaking of balling, based on his respect for Jefe, the Heat is now the 3rd team Blake will root for, after the Rockets and Spurs."
Yes! We are Blake's number three team! This is a grassroots groundswell!!! And just in a nick of time for Blake, since his sorry-ass top two teams were eliminated from playoff contention loooongg ago! (sorry, Blake - more alienation - it's just a joke)
Quick turnaround with a game Monday, followed by games Wednesday and Friday. You would hope the quicker schedule would help the younger Heat, but you never do know. Monday is huge - win it, and you still maybe escape the series with minimal trouble. Lose, and it is a long bloodbath, one way or another...If you need me before then, I'll be writing in my Burn Book. Later!
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