1) "Guys - we're up 1 with 14 seconds to play. Listen - I coached Walter Ray Allen in Milwaukee, and the guy is absolutely lights out from the left corner. Miami will probably put him out on that wing, KJ James will take the ball at the top of the circle and drive hard left, forcing Ray's defender to make a choice: either let KJ try to barrel to the rim one-on-one and stay at home on Walter Ray Allen; or, help off on to KJ to keep him off the rim, and pray that Allen misses the money ball from the corner. Corey Brewer, I'm gonna put you on Ray. Whatever you do, just make sure that when KJ starts his drive, you don't take a false step towards KJ, turn your head and lose sight of Ray, allow him to slide unimpeded to the corner, then try to run back out there late and barge into him as he releases the triple dead through the net for a four point play, causing him to leap into the air and chest bump KJ with a joy missing from his game since the day he was traded to Boston, and winning the game. Okay? Nuggets on '3' - 1, 2, 3: Nuggets!" ...........Uh-oh......
2) Sequence of the night: You mean besides when Walter Ray Allen made a four point play to win the game in the waning moments? How about halfway through the fourth quarter when the Heat got down 6, and he made triples on back-to-back possessions to tie the game (sandwiched around a defensive possession where Dwyane Wade blocked two shots by Andre Miller - 4 blocks for Dwyane tonight!)? What does that do for you? Not working? How about when Andre Iguodala (Denver, loading up on Andres!) drove with a minute to go, down 1, Ray knocked the ball loose, and in the wild scramble that ensued he ended up sitting on top of Kenneth Faried, ripped the ball away from Faried, then Iguodala, and flipped it to Bosh, who sailed a long pass down court to Wade for layup to put the Heat up 3? How does that one feel? Allen made 6-10 triples tonight and scored 23 points, and seems to have recaptured his love of the game, so obviously missing during his time with the Celtics. Mike Miller, previously the best shooter on the Heat, has been marketing a new energy drink that he owns called "Let It Fly." He is endlessly - endlessly - tweeting about letting something or other fly. If he wasn't Mike Mil-lar, it would be super annoying. Anyways, I think it's safe to say that Walter Ray Allen is letting it fly at this point! Let it fly, boy, let it fly, just like you flew away from that horrific Celtics team!!! Love you forever, Walter Ray Allen!
3) Man, I'm so excited about Ray's night - I mean, that's my all-time boy since he was in college - I forgot one minor detail about the game: CHRIS BOSH FREAKING DROPPED 40 ALL OVER THAT MUG!!! HE MADE JUMPERS, HE MADE LAYUPS, HE ROLLED TO THE RIM AND SMASHED THE BALL HOME WITH AUTHORITY, HE MADE FREE THROWS. HE TOOK APART KOUSTO COSTAS, OR WHATEVER, THEN HE TOOK APART JAVALE MCGEE, THEN, JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE, HE TOOK APART KENNETH FARIED. WHO ELSE YOU GOT, DENVER? WHO ELSE YOU GOT?!!!!!!...Wow! He was 15-22 from the floor, 9-10 from the line. Goodness...One piece of advice for you, Chris: This how they gon' come at you- with silly rap feuds to distract you...
4) So far, through three games, Miami's defense grades out to about an F minus. The only grade lower would be for actual effort on the defensive end, which would be about an F minus minus...Everyone is at fault, although I actually think Chris Bosh is giving very good effort on that end, as is nerdy teacher's pet Shane Battier, of course...As bad as the defense has been collectively, the absolute worst is in the second quarter, when Spo plays Udonis Haslem and Rashard Lewis together as the bigs for a while. Free advice for Spo: never, ever do that. Ever.
5) My favorite moment of the game (non-Ray Allen category): the stretches in the second and fourth quarters when Mike Mil-lar and Andre Mil-lar guarded each other! Mil-lar on Mil-lar crime! Like a dream come true!
6) Here are my five favorite holidays:
5) Fake Sick Day
4) Christmas
3) "Vacation," the original one, of course, starring Chevy Chase, Anthony Michael Hall, and the
psycho girl Nikki from 90210
2) Thanksgiving
1) Dre Day
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Next game is Monday against Phoenix, and Mr. Stay Easy Supercool Michael Beasley! My email inbox is ready for the 10 or so Dos readers who still think Miami made a mistake by trading Beasley and building around Wade, James, and Bosh. If you need me before then, I'll be spotting up in the left corner of my driveway, waiting for O.Minutos to pass me the ball (which he never does - kid loves to shoot the rock). See you then - remember, pro basketball is a sucker's bet!
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