6 Thoughts
1) 1!
2) The Heat's win wrapped up the #1 seed in the East playoffs. They have a 2 loss lead on the Spurs for the #1 seed overall, which I don't think they care about pursuing. If you are tough enough to get to the NBA Finals, you're tough enough to go dig out a game or two on the road. There were only 11 games left heading into tonight, and this could be the last time this regular season that we see all of the three All-Stars playing in a game together. Preventative maintenance, you know. But even on a night that should have totally meaningless and uneventful, something amazing and exciting happened, as it almost always seems to with this team, especially this season. Mario "Emcee" Chalmers sat out with a sore ankle, so KJ James started at the point. In the first 2 minutes of the game, he had two horrific turnovers - plays where he simply threw passes right to New Orleans. Then, late in the first quarter, he made a triple. Then another. Then another. Then was teeing up another to end the quarter, but Ryan Anderson fouled him - 2 free throws. Then the second quarter started and he made another, then a two in transition with his right foot barely on the three point line. Then another triple. Then a pullup jumper in transition, then started down the court in transition again, everyone knew he was going to pull up for a three - I said to M.Minutos "this is going up" - and he did, and it went in. Eight straight jumpers, six of them threes, 28 points with 8 minutes to go in the second quarter, 20 point lead: ballgame. Goodness. The New Orleans crowd was giving him the "we're not worthy" bow. They were - we are all - witnesses...He came back in and never forced anything the rest of the night, just put it in cruise control and finished with 36 points on 20 shots, 7-10 triples, in only 3 quarters of work. Miami shot 60% from the floor for the game, and made 14-27 threes. Even their "boring" games are exciting. Best. Season. Ever.
3) Play of the game, runner-up: in the second quarter, with the game already well out of hand, Hornets rookie Darius Miller had the ball isolated against Mike Miller, who started in place of Emcee Chalmers. Darius Miller put the ball on the floor, and spun hard right, and when Mike Miller leaned in that direction to politely feign resistance, Darius Miller doubled-reverse-corkscrew-spun back to the left past Mike Miller, gyroscoped towards the rim, and shot an uncontested two foot runner eight feet over the basket. That's one stop for Mike Miller! Congratulations, Spin Cycle, you just faked out Mike Miller, kind of. Newsflash: if the Heat assign Mike Miller to guard you, they aren't too worried about you scoring.
4) Play of the game, winner: a minute later, on the other end of the court, Mike Miller set up shop on the high right wing, above the three point line, where he likes to catch and fire threes. All of a sudden, like he was shot out of a cannon...okay, like he was shot out of a low-caliber air rifle...okay, like he just ran as fast as he could, which isn't that fast, he took off towards the basket, Bosh back-screened Brian Roberts, Dwyane Wade lofted the ball 25 feet in the air, and Miller rose, caught it, and flushed it! SEND IT IN, MICHAEL MIL-LAR!!! DOING IT ON BOTH ENDS!!! LIVE BY THE MIKE MILLER...LIVE BY THE MIKE MILLER!!!
5) There are only two sources of news in the NBA that people are interested in right now: one, what the Miami Heat are doing; and two, what the other 29 teams are doing. And, honestly, 90% of what the other teams are doing is Lakers news, and people are already pretty tired of that. Every single thing Miami does, no matter how small or insignificant, becomes newsworthy to everyone else around the league. For instance, after Wednesday's loss to the Bulls, KJ James politely told reporters that he was a little frustrated with the number of hits he takes in games, especially above the shoulders, and feels that sometimes they cross the line, and are no longer basketball plays. That's not debatable, it's factual. Anyone can watch a sampling of Heat games and see that is true. GFOB Plumber, a huge Nets fan, pointed out that if the Hinrich and Gibson fouls from that night had been committed on Michael Jordan back in the day, play would have been stopped, and the Bulls would have been awarded a forfeit victory in that game, and the next two on their schedule. ESPN.com spent the better part of the last two days debating whether something needs to be done to curb the number of hard blows delivered in the NBA, specifically to James...The Heat do something, say something, say anything: it's instant news...annnnd then today, Boston Celtic GM Danny Ainge, primarily known in his playing days as a good shooter, and a dirty player who once bit Tree Rollins on the bottom of a pileup during a game, felt he had to comment during a radio interview in Boston (why not - everyone else had commented on it). He said KJ should have been embarrassed for whining about calls, which is ironic, because last year after a Heat playoff win over Boston, Danny Ainge went to the media and very publicly whined about calls! Haaa! Before tonight's game, my dad, Pat Riley, issued a statement advising Danny Ainge to "shut the f*ck up and manage his own team." KJ loved it; everyone on the team loved it. It's such a different atmosphere in Miami from the divisive dark cloud that has settled over the Celtic franchise. Look at how happy Ray Allen is now compared to how miserable he was in Boston...The point is, everything the Heat do is news. The Miami players were laughing in the locker room before this game, pointing out to the Heat beat writers that the Celtics seemed weirdly obsessed with them (Miami has sent them home from the playoffs two years in a row). It can be annoying at times, but on the whole it is great: people only care because you are winning, and are supercool. Conversely, no one ever thinks about the Celtics. I mean, for instance, I never mention them in this blog whatsoever...What? Okay, maybe once in a while I might - might - comment on something that they do, but only when it is immediately relevant to the Heat. But I mean this hardly ever happens....Or, I mean, okay, every so often the Celtics do something that doesn't necessarily concern the Heat, but it is so important to the NBA that it needs to be mentioned...Okay, okay, annnnd, now and then, there's just a brief mention of the Celtics in Dos Minutos even if they haven't done anything at all, just if they pop into my mind, but even then, it's only because they are so infuriating, they tend to make me a little crazy - but I'm not at all obsessive about them, I can stop talking about them at any time......except that social deviant Rajon Rondo, and his sidekick, the poke-and-run specialist Kevin Garnett, I have to talk about them, I have to use them in the blog sometimes as an example of what not to do on a basketball court, and in life!!! Don't you understand??? If we don't recognize evil, how can we ever hope to defeat it?!!!
6) Everyone is iconic to somebody.
-----
Next game is Sunday in San Antonio. They have the second best record in the league, although I think most people tend to believe that OKC will beat them in the Western Conference Finals (they did last season). If Miami had gone in there carrying its streak, it would be mayhem. As it is, it's just two teams playing out the string - it would be surprising to see both teams' stars all play (or at least play heavy minutes). If you need me before then, I definitely won't be thinking about the Celtics, and certainly not about how much I hate Rajon Rondo and his long, talon-like fingernails, and Paul Pierce's dopey squint, and Kevin Garnett's idiotic quest to never let a ball go through the basket after the whistle, and...what? I said I won't be thinking about those things...See you Sunday!
-----
Friday, March 29, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Bulls 101 Heat 97
6 Thoughts
1) This game was just like a lot of other games during the streak - Miami immediately got down double digits on the road due to a lack of focus and effort (and also starting a guy who is not an NBA rotation-level player), then spent all game grinding their way back, finally taking the lead late in the third quarter. But in the fourth quarter, just when Miami usually pulls away to win the game, it was the Bulls who made plays: Luol Deng, shooting 30% on triples for the season, made two back-to-back; followed by Jimmy Butler, shooting 32%, drilling one. With Miami needing to catch a break to stay in it, a bizarre pair of no-flagrant/flagrant foul calls involving KJ James both went against Miami, and that was it. But, honestly, that's what makes the streak so amazing. This is what happens in the NBA - someone plays a little better than you, gets a bounce or two, gets a call at home, and you lose. Everyone loses, sometimes. Except for two straight months, Miami never did. It's the most amazing (and bizarre) basketball feat I've ever seen, honestly, and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. I tip my cap to the Heat - thanks for making this part of the season so fun. And you know what? I'm feeling magnanimous: with Derrick Rose out, the Bulls aren't even that unlikable (except for Nate Robinson, who is an absurdly unlikable human being) - I tip my cap to you, too, Bulls. I hope you will remember this game fondly as the highlight of your season after the New Jersey Nets send you home 4-1 in the first round of the playoffs. Let's go (back to late season NBA drudgery)!
2) Biggest stretch of the game: midway through the fourth quarter, Coach Spo put KJ James on Kirk Hinrich, and Wade on Luol Deng. It's a crossmatch - normally, it would be the opposite. He's done that before, most notably against Indiana, and it has worked. The reasoning is solid: KJ should be able to disrupt the offense by pressuring the primary ballhandler, and Wade is athletic enough to defend any small forward. But tonight it just didn't work: Deng immediately made two triples by simply spotting up and shooting it over Wade. He's a 30% shooter, so they are probably bad shots, but tonight they went in. Then Deng took Wade to the post, bullied him backwards, forcing help to come, and found Jimmy Butler for the third straight triple. In the moment it was frustrating. But in retrospect, it's fine. Like I said, it's worked before, and even tonight it forced shots that you can live with. There's a reason Luol Deng and Jimmy Butler have poor three point shooting percentages: they are bad shooters. Tonight they went in. Coach Spo: I apologize for thinking bad thoughts about you.
3) Most bizarre stretch of the game: a short while after the Bulls barrage of threes, KJ James drove down the lane, was loose to the rim, and Bulls power forward Taj Gibson, who is most well-known for being physical and aggressive (to his credit, he takes it right up to the line, and sometimes a little over), reached from behind KJ, lassoed him around the neck and shoulder, and pulled him backwards.. KJ got his legs folded up under him awkwardly, but he was fine: he's a machine. But it was obviously a flagrant foul. That is the whole point of the flagrant rule: a flagrant one is "unnecessary contact." Grabbing a guy running free to the rim from behind and pulling him down is unnecessary. It's not a basketball play. If someone did that to Taj Gibson - or most other players in the league - the guy would get up and go right back at the offending player. Because KJ deals with this night after night, he just shrugs it off. The refs correctly called it a flagrant foul, went to the monitor, everyone assumed, to see whether it should be an ejection, then somehow decided that it wasn't a flagrant foul. I have no idea what happened - it's statistical fact that home teams get more calls, but this was a dead ball situation, it wasn't an emotional bang-bang decision swayed by crowd noise. And, it's another example of why I hate replay: the refs got the initial call correct, then changed it to an incorrect call after watching the replay! So play resumes, KJ is fuming - understandably - Carlos Boozer comes over to set a screen on him, and KJ pops him intentionally with a shoulder. It wasn't even remotely as bad or dangerous as Gibson's foul (although it was clearly on purpose - I will grant you that). The refs instantly call it a flagrant, review it again, and let the flagrant stand. Look, I'm not stupid, I understand why they called KJ's flagrant. It was an absolute "f u" to the refs, and they were embarrassed by it. Also, if they don't call it a flagrant, someone on the Bulls is going to re-retaliate back on the other end, and there is going to be a fight. And Miami probably would have lost the game anyways. I'm just saying, mannn, that's another example of what a cool and dignified ballplayer KJ James is. He takes more ridiculous hits up high than anyone, rarely bitches, and isn't even allowed to retaliate. Earlier in this game, Kirk Hinrich had tackled him to the ground in transition without making any play on the ball whatsoever - again, for any other player in the league, it gets called a flagrant. You can't tackle a guy to the ground in transition. Except KJ. It seems crazy unfair - I don't know how he doesn't lose his temper, like, all the time. I would. This happens to all of the best and most physical players: it happened to Shaq, it happens to Dwight Howard, and it happens to King James. Just seems like it would be fairer to ref them the same way the other players in the league get reffed. I don't get it, maybe I am stupid...
4) In the second quarter, KJ was returning to the game after a rest on the bench and Eric Reid reported he was returning "sans headband." I felt a little uptight - "What? Why?" But KJ strode into the picture, and was putting his headband back on his head. M.Minutos also exhaled: "I don't know why, but I was worried." One, I'm glad I wasn't the only one whose heart skipped a beat because a basketball player was going to play without a headband. Whew... Two, terrible job, Eric Reid: YOU CAN'T MESS UP SOMETHING HUGE LIKE THAT!!!
5) This guy who writes for ESPN, Kevin Pelton, tried to break down, statistically. the effect that Derrick Rose might have on the Bulls if he suddenly decided to return this late in the season. Hard to put an actual numerical value on "douchey," I realize that. Anyways, Pelton is wayyy smarter than me - he goes through all these statistics to demonstrate that the Bulls would probably be better with Rose. To me, it's 50-50: they either would be better or worse. But then Pelton concludes by saying: "surely, some version of these calculations is playing out in [Rose's] head." Haaaa!!! Derrick Rose? Double haaaa!!! First of all, his doctors have cleared him to play. He is choosing not to. He won't even sit on the bench with the team. So I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a crap about the Bulls. Great teammate. Second of all, you're talking about Derrick Rose! This kid is one of the all-time mouth breathers! I'm pretty sure most of his thoughts revolve around what cartoon is coming up next on Nickelodeon, and what kind of frozen pizza his brother Reggie Rose is microwaving him for dinner....There are a lot of unlikable players in this league, especially Russell Westbrook, but even he goes out there and plays his ass off every night. I don't like him, but I do respect him. Derrick Rose is hanging his teammates out to dry, he's blowing off the season like it, and they, don't mean anything to him. They must despise him.
6) Watched the US Men's national soccer team play a World Cup qualifier at Azteca in Mexico City last night. Mexico is a far better team than the US, obviously, since they don't have much better to do than play soccer, and Azteca is a super-tough place to play. It's like combining playing the Nuggets in Denver (high altitude) with playing the Jazz in Utah (virulently racist fans perpetually on the edge of violence). Mexico has an absurd record in World Cup qualifying games at home - something like 70 wins, 1 loss, and 5 ties. Last night's game basically consisted of Mexico passing the ball around on the US's side of the field for 90 seconds, then firing a shot wide. In the first half, there was a play where Mexico could have been awarded a penalty kick but wasn't - seemed like a good no-call, it was off the ball, and a bit of a dive, though the Mexicans didn't think so. In the second half, there was a blatant blown call - this time a Mexican guy got hammered to the ground from behind just as he was about to one-time a pass into the back of the net. It absolutely should have been a penalty kick for Mexico. The game ended in a 0-0 tie. In the post-game show, former American player Alexei Lalas pronounced the game a "classic American performance - solid defensive effort, look for opportunities if they present themselves, but mostly don't make any big mistakes." But they also had a Mexican dude on the postgame show, and he was like, "true, but if those penalties are given, Mexico wins this game pretty easily." And then Alexei Lalas was like, "well, but that's why this was a classic American performance - a little luck is part of it." Yes! Americans own "luck!' We''re on easy street now, people!!!
-----
I'll miss the streak - it was so much fun during a time of the year where the season can often be boring. The Heat have the #1 seed in the East on lock, and nobody could care less about #1 seed for the Finals. It doesn't seem to give you much of an edge with the 2-3-2 format. So with 11 completely meaningless games left, it's time to rest guys, or as Spo likes to call it, "preventative maintenance." The next game is Friday in New Orleans. I'd barely play the starters - give them a mental health day off. They've earned it. If you need me before then, I'll be going to the Magic City Casino down in Miami. I'm American: I'm about to blow upppp!
-----
1) This game was just like a lot of other games during the streak - Miami immediately got down double digits on the road due to a lack of focus and effort (and also starting a guy who is not an NBA rotation-level player), then spent all game grinding their way back, finally taking the lead late in the third quarter. But in the fourth quarter, just when Miami usually pulls away to win the game, it was the Bulls who made plays: Luol Deng, shooting 30% on triples for the season, made two back-to-back; followed by Jimmy Butler, shooting 32%, drilling one. With Miami needing to catch a break to stay in it, a bizarre pair of no-flagrant/flagrant foul calls involving KJ James both went against Miami, and that was it. But, honestly, that's what makes the streak so amazing. This is what happens in the NBA - someone plays a little better than you, gets a bounce or two, gets a call at home, and you lose. Everyone loses, sometimes. Except for two straight months, Miami never did. It's the most amazing (and bizarre) basketball feat I've ever seen, honestly, and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. I tip my cap to the Heat - thanks for making this part of the season so fun. And you know what? I'm feeling magnanimous: with Derrick Rose out, the Bulls aren't even that unlikable (except for Nate Robinson, who is an absurdly unlikable human being) - I tip my cap to you, too, Bulls. I hope you will remember this game fondly as the highlight of your season after the New Jersey Nets send you home 4-1 in the first round of the playoffs. Let's go (back to late season NBA drudgery)!
2) Biggest stretch of the game: midway through the fourth quarter, Coach Spo put KJ James on Kirk Hinrich, and Wade on Luol Deng. It's a crossmatch - normally, it would be the opposite. He's done that before, most notably against Indiana, and it has worked. The reasoning is solid: KJ should be able to disrupt the offense by pressuring the primary ballhandler, and Wade is athletic enough to defend any small forward. But tonight it just didn't work: Deng immediately made two triples by simply spotting up and shooting it over Wade. He's a 30% shooter, so they are probably bad shots, but tonight they went in. Then Deng took Wade to the post, bullied him backwards, forcing help to come, and found Jimmy Butler for the third straight triple. In the moment it was frustrating. But in retrospect, it's fine. Like I said, it's worked before, and even tonight it forced shots that you can live with. There's a reason Luol Deng and Jimmy Butler have poor three point shooting percentages: they are bad shooters. Tonight they went in. Coach Spo: I apologize for thinking bad thoughts about you.
3) Most bizarre stretch of the game: a short while after the Bulls barrage of threes, KJ James drove down the lane, was loose to the rim, and Bulls power forward Taj Gibson, who is most well-known for being physical and aggressive (to his credit, he takes it right up to the line, and sometimes a little over), reached from behind KJ, lassoed him around the neck and shoulder, and pulled him backwards.. KJ got his legs folded up under him awkwardly, but he was fine: he's a machine. But it was obviously a flagrant foul. That is the whole point of the flagrant rule: a flagrant one is "unnecessary contact." Grabbing a guy running free to the rim from behind and pulling him down is unnecessary. It's not a basketball play. If someone did that to Taj Gibson - or most other players in the league - the guy would get up and go right back at the offending player. Because KJ deals with this night after night, he just shrugs it off. The refs correctly called it a flagrant foul, went to the monitor, everyone assumed, to see whether it should be an ejection, then somehow decided that it wasn't a flagrant foul. I have no idea what happened - it's statistical fact that home teams get more calls, but this was a dead ball situation, it wasn't an emotional bang-bang decision swayed by crowd noise. And, it's another example of why I hate replay: the refs got the initial call correct, then changed it to an incorrect call after watching the replay! So play resumes, KJ is fuming - understandably - Carlos Boozer comes over to set a screen on him, and KJ pops him intentionally with a shoulder. It wasn't even remotely as bad or dangerous as Gibson's foul (although it was clearly on purpose - I will grant you that). The refs instantly call it a flagrant, review it again, and let the flagrant stand. Look, I'm not stupid, I understand why they called KJ's flagrant. It was an absolute "f u" to the refs, and they were embarrassed by it. Also, if they don't call it a flagrant, someone on the Bulls is going to re-retaliate back on the other end, and there is going to be a fight. And Miami probably would have lost the game anyways. I'm just saying, mannn, that's another example of what a cool and dignified ballplayer KJ James is. He takes more ridiculous hits up high than anyone, rarely bitches, and isn't even allowed to retaliate. Earlier in this game, Kirk Hinrich had tackled him to the ground in transition without making any play on the ball whatsoever - again, for any other player in the league, it gets called a flagrant. You can't tackle a guy to the ground in transition. Except KJ. It seems crazy unfair - I don't know how he doesn't lose his temper, like, all the time. I would. This happens to all of the best and most physical players: it happened to Shaq, it happens to Dwight Howard, and it happens to King James. Just seems like it would be fairer to ref them the same way the other players in the league get reffed. I don't get it, maybe I am stupid...
4) In the second quarter, KJ was returning to the game after a rest on the bench and Eric Reid reported he was returning "sans headband." I felt a little uptight - "What? Why?" But KJ strode into the picture, and was putting his headband back on his head. M.Minutos also exhaled: "I don't know why, but I was worried." One, I'm glad I wasn't the only one whose heart skipped a beat because a basketball player was going to play without a headband. Whew... Two, terrible job, Eric Reid: YOU CAN'T MESS UP SOMETHING HUGE LIKE THAT!!!
5) This guy who writes for ESPN, Kevin Pelton, tried to break down, statistically. the effect that Derrick Rose might have on the Bulls if he suddenly decided to return this late in the season. Hard to put an actual numerical value on "douchey," I realize that. Anyways, Pelton is wayyy smarter than me - he goes through all these statistics to demonstrate that the Bulls would probably be better with Rose. To me, it's 50-50: they either would be better or worse. But then Pelton concludes by saying: "surely, some version of these calculations is playing out in [Rose's] head." Haaaa!!! Derrick Rose? Double haaaa!!! First of all, his doctors have cleared him to play. He is choosing not to. He won't even sit on the bench with the team. So I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a crap about the Bulls. Great teammate. Second of all, you're talking about Derrick Rose! This kid is one of the all-time mouth breathers! I'm pretty sure most of his thoughts revolve around what cartoon is coming up next on Nickelodeon, and what kind of frozen pizza his brother Reggie Rose is microwaving him for dinner....There are a lot of unlikable players in this league, especially Russell Westbrook, but even he goes out there and plays his ass off every night. I don't like him, but I do respect him. Derrick Rose is hanging his teammates out to dry, he's blowing off the season like it, and they, don't mean anything to him. They must despise him.
6) Watched the US Men's national soccer team play a World Cup qualifier at Azteca in Mexico City last night. Mexico is a far better team than the US, obviously, since they don't have much better to do than play soccer, and Azteca is a super-tough place to play. It's like combining playing the Nuggets in Denver (high altitude) with playing the Jazz in Utah (virulently racist fans perpetually on the edge of violence). Mexico has an absurd record in World Cup qualifying games at home - something like 70 wins, 1 loss, and 5 ties. Last night's game basically consisted of Mexico passing the ball around on the US's side of the field for 90 seconds, then firing a shot wide. In the first half, there was a play where Mexico could have been awarded a penalty kick but wasn't - seemed like a good no-call, it was off the ball, and a bit of a dive, though the Mexicans didn't think so. In the second half, there was a blatant blown call - this time a Mexican guy got hammered to the ground from behind just as he was about to one-time a pass into the back of the net. It absolutely should have been a penalty kick for Mexico. The game ended in a 0-0 tie. In the post-game show, former American player Alexei Lalas pronounced the game a "classic American performance - solid defensive effort, look for opportunities if they present themselves, but mostly don't make any big mistakes." But they also had a Mexican dude on the postgame show, and he was like, "true, but if those penalties are given, Mexico wins this game pretty easily." And then Alexei Lalas was like, "well, but that's why this was a classic American performance - a little luck is part of it." Yes! Americans own "luck!' We''re on easy street now, people!!!
-----
I'll miss the streak - it was so much fun during a time of the year where the season can often be boring. The Heat have the #1 seed in the East on lock, and nobody could care less about #1 seed for the Finals. It doesn't seem to give you much of an edge with the 2-3-2 format. So with 11 completely meaningless games left, it's time to rest guys, or as Spo likes to call it, "preventative maintenance." The next game is Friday in New Orleans. I'd barely play the starters - give them a mental health day off. They've earned it. If you need me before then, I'll be going to the Magic City Casino down in Miami. I'm American: I'm about to blow upppp!
-----
Monday, March 25, 2013
Heat 108 Magic 94
6 Thoughts
1) You know how many wins in a row is a lot? Like 9. That's a lot of wins in a row. But 27?...This is ridiculous: it's too many damn wins in a row! Miami sleepwalked through the first two and a half quarters, then turned the jets on for 4:30 and blew Orlando off the floor in that brief span: 20-2 run, ballgame. No matter how hard the other team plays (and Orlando gave good effort), the Heat know they are going to hit the other team with a run at some point, they know they are going to win, and they know they are going to photo bomb Jason Jackson's attempt to conduct a postgame interview. WINNING NEVER GETS OLD! MIKE MILLER STARTED AGAIN! LET IT FLY!!!
2) KJ James really didn't play hard until about 3 minutes remained in the third quarter. Why bother, frankly? From that point on, he started thundering to the lane and finishing plays, but even more impressively, throwing some of the most ridiculous laser beam passes you will ever see. He spun out of a double team and found Rashard Lewis 30 feet away for an open triple. He dribbled the ball casually with his right hand above the three point line and then casually flipped a 35' rainbow right off the dribble on the money to Birdman Anderson who caught it in, umm, full-flight, and reverse-toma-side-hawked it down with aggression. Then KJ drove middle, kind of crossed over to the left, flipped the ball up with his right hand, but then caught it with his left hand and threw a cross-court bullet back to Ray Allen's exact-perfect shooting pocket behind the arc for a triple. NBA blogger Zach Harper said it best about that pass: "Ray Allen shot that before LeBron even passed it, and LeBron passed it before the game even started." Someone else pointed out on Twitter: "When the Heat want you dead, you dead." Yep. Pretty much.
3) KJ finished with 24 points on 9-16, with 11 assists, and 9 rebounds. Spo gave him one extra possession on the court to try to get the 10th rebound. E'twan Moore rose for a jumper, KJ crashed middle, and Moore's shot pretty much missed everything, and deflected off Chris Bosh out of bounds. KJ mock-stomped away in mock-frustration, kicked the ball, and went to the bench to watch the last few minutes of the game. Then, a short while later, when Jax was trying to interview Ray Allen (and had already been raucously interrupted by Mario Chalmers...and Udonis Haslem?), KJ suddenly popped in front of the camera and did this:
Then he turned around and put it on Ray and Jax, and made them laugh. This kid is loose, the team is loose (when UD is being silly, that's something) - it's crazy. We really haven't seen anything like this. You know why? BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS! ARE YOU DAFT? TWENTY-SEVEN STRAIGHT WINS! EVEN WHEN THE LAKERS WON THEIR 33 STRAIGHT, THERE WERE A BUNCH OF ALLSTAR PLAYERS WHO HAD GONE TO PLAY IN THE ABA, AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LEAGUE, SO THE COMPETITION WAS WATERED DOWN! PLUS, HALF THE LEAGUE WAS 35 YEAR OLD WHITE CIGARETTE SMOKERS WITH BAD COMBOVERS! THE HEAT WERE 29-14 - NOW THEY ARE 56-14!!! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE WHAT THE HEAT ARE DOING RIGHT NOW! NEVER! NEV-VER!!!
4) Shooters, dude. Miami was 15-28 from behind the arc. Mario Chalmers hit 4-5 and Ray Allen made 4-6. Rashard Lewis (didn't really seem to hate what Orlando did to him, which was basically pay him $130 million for about $40 million worth of production) made 3-5, and Norris Cole (!) made 3-4. But Battier and Mike Miller were a combined 1-7. Losers.
5) Birdman triggered the third quarter run by getting a layup try rejected, then turning and sprinting full-speed back down the court just in time to catch Magic rookie forward Moe Harkless trying to get to the rim in transition. Harkless never saw Bird coming, elevated, and Bird hammered Harkless' layup from above and behind with a full karate chop swing, rocketing the ball back down off a shocked Harkless and out of bounds: Miami ball. There could have been three hoops scored on either end in the time it would have taken Chris Bosh to saunter back down the court on a play like that. "I don't think he drinks unleaded coffee," Tony Fiorentino told Eric Reid (hip use of 'unleaded' by Tony Toni Tone). Of course not - Birdman drinks human blood. Duh.
6) Big debate at Dos Minutos International Headquarters today: we were talking about pecan pies. How do you pronounce "pecan?" Do you say "pe-can," like an can of soda? Or "pe-kahn," like the wrath of Kahn? Answer: neither, it's a trick question, pecan pies are brutal, they are a dumb dessert for dumb people who are not smart enough to demand fruit in their pies. "Hey, I've got some leftover pecans: how about I crush them up into an inedible gravel-like substance, bake it in a crappy pie shell for about 8 hours, then serve it to you with a dollop of supermarket-brand whipped topping, just so it gets moist enough to choke down?" But, if you have to pronounce the word "pecan," here's a tip: if you want to sound like you live in a trailer park, or are from New York, say "pe-can," like "can." If you want to sound like you conceivably finished high school, and have almost assuredly showered at some point in the past two days, say "pe-kahn." You're welcome...
-----
It ends Wednesday in Chicago. All good things have to. If you need me before then, I'll be enjoying a delicious boysenberry pie. Bon appetit!
-----
1) You know how many wins in a row is a lot? Like 9. That's a lot of wins in a row. But 27?...This is ridiculous: it's too many damn wins in a row! Miami sleepwalked through the first two and a half quarters, then turned the jets on for 4:30 and blew Orlando off the floor in that brief span: 20-2 run, ballgame. No matter how hard the other team plays (and Orlando gave good effort), the Heat know they are going to hit the other team with a run at some point, they know they are going to win, and they know they are going to photo bomb Jason Jackson's attempt to conduct a postgame interview. WINNING NEVER GETS OLD! MIKE MILLER STARTED AGAIN! LET IT FLY!!!
2) KJ James really didn't play hard until about 3 minutes remained in the third quarter. Why bother, frankly? From that point on, he started thundering to the lane and finishing plays, but even more impressively, throwing some of the most ridiculous laser beam passes you will ever see. He spun out of a double team and found Rashard Lewis 30 feet away for an open triple. He dribbled the ball casually with his right hand above the three point line and then casually flipped a 35' rainbow right off the dribble on the money to Birdman Anderson who caught it in, umm, full-flight, and reverse-toma-side-hawked it down with aggression. Then KJ drove middle, kind of crossed over to the left, flipped the ball up with his right hand, but then caught it with his left hand and threw a cross-court bullet back to Ray Allen's exact-perfect shooting pocket behind the arc for a triple. NBA blogger Zach Harper said it best about that pass: "Ray Allen shot that before LeBron even passed it, and LeBron passed it before the game even started." Someone else pointed out on Twitter: "When the Heat want you dead, you dead." Yep. Pretty much.
3) KJ finished with 24 points on 9-16, with 11 assists, and 9 rebounds. Spo gave him one extra possession on the court to try to get the 10th rebound. E'twan Moore rose for a jumper, KJ crashed middle, and Moore's shot pretty much missed everything, and deflected off Chris Bosh out of bounds. KJ mock-stomped away in mock-frustration, kicked the ball, and went to the bench to watch the last few minutes of the game. Then, a short while later, when Jax was trying to interview Ray Allen (and had already been raucously interrupted by Mario Chalmers...and Udonis Haslem?), KJ suddenly popped in front of the camera and did this:
Then he turned around and put it on Ray and Jax, and made them laugh. This kid is loose, the team is loose (when UD is being silly, that's something) - it's crazy. We really haven't seen anything like this. You know why? BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS! ARE YOU DAFT? TWENTY-SEVEN STRAIGHT WINS! EVEN WHEN THE LAKERS WON THEIR 33 STRAIGHT, THERE WERE A BUNCH OF ALLSTAR PLAYERS WHO HAD GONE TO PLAY IN THE ABA, AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LEAGUE, SO THE COMPETITION WAS WATERED DOWN! PLUS, HALF THE LEAGUE WAS 35 YEAR OLD WHITE CIGARETTE SMOKERS WITH BAD COMBOVERS! THE HEAT WERE 29-14 - NOW THEY ARE 56-14!!! NO ONE HAS EVER DONE WHAT THE HEAT ARE DOING RIGHT NOW! NEVER! NEV-VER!!!
4) Shooters, dude. Miami was 15-28 from behind the arc. Mario Chalmers hit 4-5 and Ray Allen made 4-6. Rashard Lewis (didn't really seem to hate what Orlando did to him, which was basically pay him $130 million for about $40 million worth of production) made 3-5, and Norris Cole (!) made 3-4. But Battier and Mike Miller were a combined 1-7. Losers.
5) Birdman triggered the third quarter run by getting a layup try rejected, then turning and sprinting full-speed back down the court just in time to catch Magic rookie forward Moe Harkless trying to get to the rim in transition. Harkless never saw Bird coming, elevated, and Bird hammered Harkless' layup from above and behind with a full karate chop swing, rocketing the ball back down off a shocked Harkless and out of bounds: Miami ball. There could have been three hoops scored on either end in the time it would have taken Chris Bosh to saunter back down the court on a play like that. "I don't think he drinks unleaded coffee," Tony Fiorentino told Eric Reid (hip use of 'unleaded' by Tony Toni Tone). Of course not - Birdman drinks human blood. Duh.
6) Big debate at Dos Minutos International Headquarters today: we were talking about pecan pies. How do you pronounce "pecan?" Do you say "pe-can," like an can of soda? Or "pe-kahn," like the wrath of Kahn? Answer: neither, it's a trick question, pecan pies are brutal, they are a dumb dessert for dumb people who are not smart enough to demand fruit in their pies. "Hey, I've got some leftover pecans: how about I crush them up into an inedible gravel-like substance, bake it in a crappy pie shell for about 8 hours, then serve it to you with a dollop of supermarket-brand whipped topping, just so it gets moist enough to choke down?" But, if you have to pronounce the word "pecan," here's a tip: if you want to sound like you live in a trailer park, or are from New York, say "pe-can," like "can." If you want to sound like you conceivably finished high school, and have almost assuredly showered at some point in the past two days, say "pe-kahn." You're welcome...
-----
It ends Wednesday in Chicago. All good things have to. If you need me before then, I'll be enjoying a delicious boysenberry pie. Bon appetit!
-----
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Heat 109 Bobcats 77
6 Thoughts
1) Ahhh, finally, a good old-fashioned blowout! Finally got that half-stepper Dwyane Wade out of the lineup (preventative maintenance), started Mike Miller, and he led the Heat to an easy win. Michael Jordan's Bobcats are under-talented, but at least they don't play hard! Quite a program that Mike Jordan is running. Fun fact: no team that Mike Jordan played on ever won 26 games in a row. Ever. Ev-errrr! Let! It! Fly! For real, this time, Mike Mil-lar style!
2) It's sooo easy to take KJ James for granted. Night after night after night he is outstanding - you get numb to it. I mean, why wouldn't he shoot 11-14 for 32 points, 10 assists, 8 rebounds, 3 steals, and 3 blocks? Why? Because Charlotte is a professional basketball team - well, I mean, sort of. They're close to being a professional basketball team, and they could have made history if they stopped Miami's streak. You'd think a lot of their pre-game focus would be on stopping James...And then KJ came out and efficiently destroyed them (and that's what he does to teams game after game). He made mid-range jumpers off the dribble. He penetrated and found open shooters (13 triples, 4 for Ray Allen, 3 for Norris Cole, 2 for Miller, 2 more for Battier). He grabbed defensive rebounds and triggered fastbreaks. He dunked. He got smashed in the head with an elbow (no foul). He does everything, every night. This is about as well as a player can play. Don't take it for granted. Revel in it.
3) When you win 26 games in a row, everyone is having fun. I guess so, anyways - only one other team has ever done it, and it was in the early 70s, when a lot more white guys played in the league, so that almost automatically seems like less fun than the Heat are having. Way more white guys with comb-overs back in those days - that's not fun...After the final buzzer, Dwyane Wade, resplendent in a white sports jacket, bounced onto the court, gave the almost-equally-resplendently-attired Heat television host Jason Jackson a forearm shiver, grabbed Jax's microphone, and proceeded to conduct the post-game interview with James, as Chris Bosh snuck in behind them, balanced a towel across their shoulders like a plank of wood, then karate-chopped it to the floor (before gracefully bowing to his teammates). 'Member all those people - "experts" - who said KJ and Dwyane would hate playing together, and that Bosh would despise being the third wheel? Oops.
4) Play of the game: after back-to-back Chris Birdman flying-alley-oops, Bobcat point guard Kemba Walker tried to get to the rim. As he elevated to try to spin in a right handed-layup, Shane Battier saw it coming and slid across Walker's body, forcing him to hold the shot an extra beat, pull it back, and try to re-load it to the basket - right into the path of the soaring Birdman, who caught the shot sailing full-speed with a full-on tomahawk spike off the backboard. The ball came rocketing out to Norris Cole at the top of the key, who turned and in one motion hit a sprinting KJ James on the dead run at the opposite three point line, and James took two giant steps and absolutely pummeled the ball through the hoop for a 26 point lead with under 8 minutes to go: buh-bye. KJ didn't play any more after that: that 32, 10, 8, 3, and 3 came in only 34 minutes! Crazy...
5) Dick Bavetta on the whistle tonight. The NBA's oldest ref, not to mention Earth's oldest human, just keeps on chugging along. He hasn't missed a game in like 40 years. No matter how much those joints ache, or how badly the cataracts impair his vision, he goes out on the court and messes up calls like a true professional. Good to see him. But for goodness sake, pull your pants down a couple of clicks, you old nutter. Those trousers have to be chafing your armpits:
6) I spent a good portion of today at the beach. It was super-fun, but it was a windy day, surf was blowing in our faces, sand flying everywhere, beach towels sailing about. "Windpocalypse!" That's all I've got for you. Sorry, it's Sunday night, I'm kinda sunburnt-out, what do you want?
-----
We are back at it tomorrow night in Orlando. Four straight road games: Orlando, Chicago, San Antonio, Knicks. No way the streak survives those four. Right? Right? Man, oh man, is this ever a long streak. San Antonio just lost, too, so Miami is 3 games clear of the Spurs in the loss column...If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be giving Jax an MRI on his ribcage. Stay inside: WINDPOCALYPSE!!!
-----
1) Ahhh, finally, a good old-fashioned blowout! Finally got that half-stepper Dwyane Wade out of the lineup (preventative maintenance), started Mike Miller, and he led the Heat to an easy win. Michael Jordan's Bobcats are under-talented, but at least they don't play hard! Quite a program that Mike Jordan is running. Fun fact: no team that Mike Jordan played on ever won 26 games in a row. Ever. Ev-errrr! Let! It! Fly! For real, this time, Mike Mil-lar style!
2) It's sooo easy to take KJ James for granted. Night after night after night he is outstanding - you get numb to it. I mean, why wouldn't he shoot 11-14 for 32 points, 10 assists, 8 rebounds, 3 steals, and 3 blocks? Why? Because Charlotte is a professional basketball team - well, I mean, sort of. They're close to being a professional basketball team, and they could have made history if they stopped Miami's streak. You'd think a lot of their pre-game focus would be on stopping James...And then KJ came out and efficiently destroyed them (and that's what he does to teams game after game). He made mid-range jumpers off the dribble. He penetrated and found open shooters (13 triples, 4 for Ray Allen, 3 for Norris Cole, 2 for Miller, 2 more for Battier). He grabbed defensive rebounds and triggered fastbreaks. He dunked. He got smashed in the head with an elbow (no foul). He does everything, every night. This is about as well as a player can play. Don't take it for granted. Revel in it.
3) When you win 26 games in a row, everyone is having fun. I guess so, anyways - only one other team has ever done it, and it was in the early 70s, when a lot more white guys played in the league, so that almost automatically seems like less fun than the Heat are having. Way more white guys with comb-overs back in those days - that's not fun...After the final buzzer, Dwyane Wade, resplendent in a white sports jacket, bounced onto the court, gave the almost-equally-resplendently-attired Heat television host Jason Jackson a forearm shiver, grabbed Jax's microphone, and proceeded to conduct the post-game interview with James, as Chris Bosh snuck in behind them, balanced a towel across their shoulders like a plank of wood, then karate-chopped it to the floor (before gracefully bowing to his teammates). 'Member all those people - "experts" - who said KJ and Dwyane would hate playing together, and that Bosh would despise being the third wheel? Oops.
4) Play of the game: after back-to-back Chris Birdman flying-alley-oops, Bobcat point guard Kemba Walker tried to get to the rim. As he elevated to try to spin in a right handed-layup, Shane Battier saw it coming and slid across Walker's body, forcing him to hold the shot an extra beat, pull it back, and try to re-load it to the basket - right into the path of the soaring Birdman, who caught the shot sailing full-speed with a full-on tomahawk spike off the backboard. The ball came rocketing out to Norris Cole at the top of the key, who turned and in one motion hit a sprinting KJ James on the dead run at the opposite three point line, and James took two giant steps and absolutely pummeled the ball through the hoop for a 26 point lead with under 8 minutes to go: buh-bye. KJ didn't play any more after that: that 32, 10, 8, 3, and 3 came in only 34 minutes! Crazy...
5) Dick Bavetta on the whistle tonight. The NBA's oldest ref, not to mention Earth's oldest human, just keeps on chugging along. He hasn't missed a game in like 40 years. No matter how much those joints ache, or how badly the cataracts impair his vision, he goes out on the court and messes up calls like a true professional. Good to see him. But for goodness sake, pull your pants down a couple of clicks, you old nutter. Those trousers have to be chafing your armpits:
6) I spent a good portion of today at the beach. It was super-fun, but it was a windy day, surf was blowing in our faces, sand flying everywhere, beach towels sailing about. "Windpocalypse!" That's all I've got for you. Sorry, it's Sunday night, I'm kinda sunburnt-out, what do you want?
-----
We are back at it tomorrow night in Orlando. Four straight road games: Orlando, Chicago, San Antonio, Knicks. No way the streak survives those four. Right? Right? Man, oh man, is this ever a long streak. San Antonio just lost, too, so Miami is 3 games clear of the Spurs in the loss column...If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be giving Jax an MRI on his ribcage. Stay inside: WINDPOCALYPSE!!!
-----
Friday, March 22, 2013
Heat 103 Pistons 89
6 Thoughts
1) This has been the most fun stretch of the most enjoyable season in Miami Heat history...but not tonight! Ughhhh, that was terrible! Still, 25 is 25. There isn't much to say about this game, it was a dullfest, and I need to get back down to Ultra, solet'sjustgetthroughthisinahurrylet'sgoletitfly...
2) The Detroit Pistons turned the ball over 22 times, including a season-high 15 steals by Miami. Mario Chalmers and Norris Cole each had 4 - that's 8 steals from the point guard position. Dwyane Wade had 3, but in fairness, I believe that each time he stole the ball, he dribbled downcourt and passed it directly out of bounds. He was fairly awful: finished 7-17 from the floor for 19 points, and had 6 turnovers. He's had a couple of poor games in a row, luckily he can do that...
3) ...because KJ James. Ho hum: boring, atrocious team effort against a bottom-feeder, and still he went 12-15, for 29 points, 8 rebounds, 8 assists, 2 steals, and a block. He makes everything better. No matter what is going on in a game, no matter how badly Miami is playing during a part of the game, when you see him on the floor, you're like, "ahhh - we're okay." As great as Dwyane Wade is - he's demonstrated that he's still the second best player in the Eastern Conference - every time KJ is out, you feel uneasy, even when Dwyane has it going. You realize that KJ is spoiling all of us, right? Someday, sometime, he's not gonna be here anymore, and basketball is gonna seem A LOT harder.
4) Chris Bosh: 1-7, 5 points, 6 rebounds, and 4 turnovers in 31 minutes.
Greg Monroe: 10-19, 23 points, 15 rebounds, and 6 assists in 41 minutes.
Whoopsies!
5) Quite a night for Detroit rookie guard Kim English: 12 minutes, 0-3 from the floor, 6 fouls. Amongst his 6 fouls were two blows to the head of KJ James (the second bizarrely not called a flagrant foul, even though a few minutes earlier the refs had called a flagrant on Mario Chalmers, of all people, for simply running medium-speed into a screen, prompting a Jones Jerebko flop). Also, English crashed into Shane Battier on a three point attempt; and then later, as Battier was making a three, randomly shoved Chris Anderson in the back at the rim, for a four point play. Future is bright for this kid.
6) Okay, I gotta get back to Ultra, the electronic music festival at Bayside, next to The Trip. Last year, M.Minutos got a little out of hand. I hate to dime her out like this but, I mean, it is part of our history together. This year, I'm leaving her at home, because she really doesn't handle psychedelics that well, as you can see:
-----
The next game is Sunday against Charlotte. Goodness, please let that game be more interesting than this one. If you need me before then, I'll be hanging out near a certain tree in Bayide. See you Sunday.
-----
1) This has been the most fun stretch of the most enjoyable season in Miami Heat history...but not tonight! Ughhhh, that was terrible! Still, 25 is 25. There isn't much to say about this game, it was a dullfest, and I need to get back down to Ultra, solet'sjustgetthroughthisinahurrylet'sgoletitfly...
2) The Detroit Pistons turned the ball over 22 times, including a season-high 15 steals by Miami. Mario Chalmers and Norris Cole each had 4 - that's 8 steals from the point guard position. Dwyane Wade had 3, but in fairness, I believe that each time he stole the ball, he dribbled downcourt and passed it directly out of bounds. He was fairly awful: finished 7-17 from the floor for 19 points, and had 6 turnovers. He's had a couple of poor games in a row, luckily he can do that...
3) ...because KJ James. Ho hum: boring, atrocious team effort against a bottom-feeder, and still he went 12-15, for 29 points, 8 rebounds, 8 assists, 2 steals, and a block. He makes everything better. No matter what is going on in a game, no matter how badly Miami is playing during a part of the game, when you see him on the floor, you're like, "ahhh - we're okay." As great as Dwyane Wade is - he's demonstrated that he's still the second best player in the Eastern Conference - every time KJ is out, you feel uneasy, even when Dwyane has it going. You realize that KJ is spoiling all of us, right? Someday, sometime, he's not gonna be here anymore, and basketball is gonna seem A LOT harder.
4) Chris Bosh: 1-7, 5 points, 6 rebounds, and 4 turnovers in 31 minutes.
Greg Monroe: 10-19, 23 points, 15 rebounds, and 6 assists in 41 minutes.
Whoopsies!
5) Quite a night for Detroit rookie guard Kim English: 12 minutes, 0-3 from the floor, 6 fouls. Amongst his 6 fouls were two blows to the head of KJ James (the second bizarrely not called a flagrant foul, even though a few minutes earlier the refs had called a flagrant on Mario Chalmers, of all people, for simply running medium-speed into a screen, prompting a Jones Jerebko flop). Also, English crashed into Shane Battier on a three point attempt; and then later, as Battier was making a three, randomly shoved Chris Anderson in the back at the rim, for a four point play. Future is bright for this kid.
-----
The next game is Sunday against Charlotte. Goodness, please let that game be more interesting than this one. If you need me before then, I'll be hanging out near a certain tree in Bayide. See you Sunday.
-----
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Heat 98 Cavaliers 95
6 Thoughts
1) Well, you don't see that every day. Which part? EVERY PART! HOLY CRAPOLA, 24! LET IT FLY!!!
2) Good, I got that out of my system...First of all, this game was delayed nearly 40 minutes because Cleveland's owner, the buffoonish Dan Gilbert, apparently is too cheap to pay for a scoreboard that doesn't leak lighter fluid all over the court during pregame warmups. I know the economy is bad in the Midwest, but Jesus - you don't even have a scoreboard that works? The referees huddled, and here's how they tried to fix the leak: by squinting up into the rafters and pointing at the source of the offending drip for several minutes. Finally, someone figured out to lower the scoreboard down from the ceiling and try to plug up the gusher. During the delay, KJ James spent a lot of time talking to teammates, the refs, even people in the crowd, and his hand gestures appeared to be telling them exactly what would make a scoreboard leak, and how you would fix that. Listen, I spent two years being shocked when KJ knew anything non-basketball related. By this point, I give in: if he says he knows how to fix the leak, I believe him. Anyways, that was a bizarre beginning to the game, but at least no fans ran onto the court...Oh, later, yes, then a fan did run onto the court - no, there didn't appear to be any security, why would there be? The Heat's security director, David Holcombe, had to run on to the court and grab the guy. The fan told KJ that he missed him and wanted him to come back to Cleveland, and KJ smiled and patted him on the head, like a dog. "I didn't have much time to talk to him before they took him away," shrugged KJ. What were the odds a douchey fan was going to run onto the court during this road trip, and it wasn't going to be in Boston?!!! Quite an operation Dan Gilbert and the Cavaliers are running...
3) But that paled in comparison to the game itself. The Cavs came flying out of the gate, without their three best players (Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, and Anderson Varejo) and blew the doors of Miami. They got to the rim; they made jumpers; they blocked shots. The Heat looked like they were playing in quicksand. They couldn't get stops, they couldn't make shots. At halftime the Cavs led by 21...It didn't feel over - Miami is so much better than this Cleveland group that 21 felt doable - but then the second half started and it was more of the same. When Dwyane Wade politely fouled Tyler Zeller on a three point play with just under 8 minutes to go, to put the Cavs up 27, then it seemed over. Wayyy over. To that point in the game, no Heat player had either run, or jumped, let alone take some kind of running start then jumped. And you know what? It felt okay. It was disappointing that the streak was going to end, but if it was going to end, at least it was just going to end because the Heat absolutely didn't have it. That happens to every team in this league, no matter who you play against. It was predictable, but the complete lack of energy and competence was, in its utter totality, surprising (even though logically you knew it had to happen at some point).
4) And then Shane Battier made back to back triples. And the Heat got a couple of stops. And then M.Minutos took her hoodie and flipped the hood up - hood up is "emergency comeback mode." You don't talk about it, you just do it. Then Mario "Emcee" Chalmers (17 points on 5-8) made a couple of hoops, then KJ scored a couple of hoops, the Cavs went cold, then Battioke drained another triple, then Ray Allen hit a bomb, and all of a sudden, the lead was 6. A Daniel Gibson buzzer-beater sent the lead back to 9 after three, but by that point it felt over - in Miami's favor! Didn't seem like there was any way the Cavs were going to be able to hold off Miami. And the fourth quarter started with a runout where Chalmers threw an "alley-oop" into KJ's waist, but KJ recovered the loose ball, then put it back into the basket; then he made a triple, then he made a 26 foot bomb, and from the 7:40 mark of the third quarter to the 9:30 mark of the fourth quarter - 10 minutes of game-time - Miami had erased the entire 27 point deficit and led by 1. Ummm, ballgame. By the way, that's utterly insane. KJ never really played efficiently, but he still finished with a triple-double: 25 points, 12 rebounds, 10 assists (kept finding Allen for open triples in the fourth quarter), and 2 huge blocks coming down the stretch. It wasn't his best game, but it was one of his most willful games. Other guys contributed: Allen, Battioke, Chalmers all made three triples each (Ray also somehow had 5 steals - the Cavs kept throwing the ball right to him in the 4th quarter), but the image I'll remember most from the game was a late possession where KJ grabbed an offensive rebound, got hammered, missed the putback, got it back with yellow shirts just bouncing off him from every angle, got fouled again - this time they called it - and came flying out of the pack squeezing the ball so hard that I thought it was going to explode. Man possessed. Had Jason Terry been on the Cavs, KJ probably would have killed him again with another dunk. It was quite a sight. Streak lives.
5) The Cavs owner may be one of the bigger tools in the NBA (you could argue he's the whole toolshed, and it would be hard to dispute you); their scoreboard is a ticking time bomb; and they apparently do not employ security at their games. But at least they have the only coach in the NBA who appears to be taking PEDs! You think this is Byron Scott's bedroom? Like, he has a big photo montage of himself in his playing days on his bedroom wall, and he poses in front of it every year for the team press guide? "Byron, this time we could take a picture of you on the court or something," "I said NO!"
6) I rarely like to use this space to air my personal grievances, but this is a personal frustration that's been irritating me the last couple of days. Over at Dos Minutos International Headquarters, we deal with people from all over the world - hence the "international" in our title. You know who the most aggravating people to deal with are? People from New York. Not people from Manhattan, they are fine. I mean people from like, Yonkers, the Bronx, etc. I'm not great at geography, but I think they call those the "boroughs." It's like trying to speak to cave people who have just acquired verbal communication skills. They aren't, like, totally confident in language yet, it's like, they would feel a lot better if they could take a piece of charred stick from the community fire and draw out what they are trying to communicate on the wall of their cave. I have had six conversations in the past three days with a dude from one of the boroughs and it goes like this every time:
Him: So she and I did it, maybe it wasn't the best, but that's what we did.
Soooo frustrating. Hey, half-wit: I GOT IT! I hate dealing with "those people," I would rather live in Hell, or Scranton, than in one of those boroughs. Although, the Captain pointed out, "How do you know he doesn't hang up the phone and tell his wife, 'I have to tell this kid everything six times before he gets it.'"
1) Well, you don't see that every day. Which part? EVERY PART! HOLY CRAPOLA, 24! LET IT FLY!!!
2) Good, I got that out of my system...First of all, this game was delayed nearly 40 minutes because Cleveland's owner, the buffoonish Dan Gilbert, apparently is too cheap to pay for a scoreboard that doesn't leak lighter fluid all over the court during pregame warmups. I know the economy is bad in the Midwest, but Jesus - you don't even have a scoreboard that works? The referees huddled, and here's how they tried to fix the leak: by squinting up into the rafters and pointing at the source of the offending drip for several minutes. Finally, someone figured out to lower the scoreboard down from the ceiling and try to plug up the gusher. During the delay, KJ James spent a lot of time talking to teammates, the refs, even people in the crowd, and his hand gestures appeared to be telling them exactly what would make a scoreboard leak, and how you would fix that. Listen, I spent two years being shocked when KJ knew anything non-basketball related. By this point, I give in: if he says he knows how to fix the leak, I believe him. Anyways, that was a bizarre beginning to the game, but at least no fans ran onto the court...Oh, later, yes, then a fan did run onto the court - no, there didn't appear to be any security, why would there be? The Heat's security director, David Holcombe, had to run on to the court and grab the guy. The fan told KJ that he missed him and wanted him to come back to Cleveland, and KJ smiled and patted him on the head, like a dog. "I didn't have much time to talk to him before they took him away," shrugged KJ. What were the odds a douchey fan was going to run onto the court during this road trip, and it wasn't going to be in Boston?!!! Quite an operation Dan Gilbert and the Cavaliers are running...
3) But that paled in comparison to the game itself. The Cavs came flying out of the gate, without their three best players (Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, and Anderson Varejo) and blew the doors of Miami. They got to the rim; they made jumpers; they blocked shots. The Heat looked like they were playing in quicksand. They couldn't get stops, they couldn't make shots. At halftime the Cavs led by 21...It didn't feel over - Miami is so much better than this Cleveland group that 21 felt doable - but then the second half started and it was more of the same. When Dwyane Wade politely fouled Tyler Zeller on a three point play with just under 8 minutes to go, to put the Cavs up 27, then it seemed over. Wayyy over. To that point in the game, no Heat player had either run, or jumped, let alone take some kind of running start then jumped. And you know what? It felt okay. It was disappointing that the streak was going to end, but if it was going to end, at least it was just going to end because the Heat absolutely didn't have it. That happens to every team in this league, no matter who you play against. It was predictable, but the complete lack of energy and competence was, in its utter totality, surprising (even though logically you knew it had to happen at some point).
4) And then Shane Battier made back to back triples. And the Heat got a couple of stops. And then M.Minutos took her hoodie and flipped the hood up - hood up is "emergency comeback mode." You don't talk about it, you just do it. Then Mario "Emcee" Chalmers (17 points on 5-8) made a couple of hoops, then KJ scored a couple of hoops, the Cavs went cold, then Battioke drained another triple, then Ray Allen hit a bomb, and all of a sudden, the lead was 6. A Daniel Gibson buzzer-beater sent the lead back to 9 after three, but by that point it felt over - in Miami's favor! Didn't seem like there was any way the Cavs were going to be able to hold off Miami. And the fourth quarter started with a runout where Chalmers threw an "alley-oop" into KJ's waist, but KJ recovered the loose ball, then put it back into the basket; then he made a triple, then he made a 26 foot bomb, and from the 7:40 mark of the third quarter to the 9:30 mark of the fourth quarter - 10 minutes of game-time - Miami had erased the entire 27 point deficit and led by 1. Ummm, ballgame. By the way, that's utterly insane. KJ never really played efficiently, but he still finished with a triple-double: 25 points, 12 rebounds, 10 assists (kept finding Allen for open triples in the fourth quarter), and 2 huge blocks coming down the stretch. It wasn't his best game, but it was one of his most willful games. Other guys contributed: Allen, Battioke, Chalmers all made three triples each (Ray also somehow had 5 steals - the Cavs kept throwing the ball right to him in the 4th quarter), but the image I'll remember most from the game was a late possession where KJ grabbed an offensive rebound, got hammered, missed the putback, got it back with yellow shirts just bouncing off him from every angle, got fouled again - this time they called it - and came flying out of the pack squeezing the ball so hard that I thought it was going to explode. Man possessed. Had Jason Terry been on the Cavs, KJ probably would have killed him again with another dunk. It was quite a sight. Streak lives.
5) The Cavs owner may be one of the bigger tools in the NBA (you could argue he's the whole toolshed, and it would be hard to dispute you); their scoreboard is a ticking time bomb; and they apparently do not employ security at their games. But at least they have the only coach in the NBA who appears to be taking PEDs! You think this is Byron Scott's bedroom? Like, he has a big photo montage of himself in his playing days on his bedroom wall, and he poses in front of it every year for the team press guide? "Byron, this time we could take a picture of you on the court or something," "I said NO!"
6) I rarely like to use this space to air my personal grievances, but this is a personal frustration that's been irritating me the last couple of days. Over at Dos Minutos International Headquarters, we deal with people from all over the world - hence the "international" in our title. You know who the most aggravating people to deal with are? People from New York. Not people from Manhattan, they are fine. I mean people from like, Yonkers, the Bronx, etc. I'm not great at geography, but I think they call those the "boroughs." It's like trying to speak to cave people who have just acquired verbal communication skills. They aren't, like, totally confident in language yet, it's like, they would feel a lot better if they could take a piece of charred stick from the community fire and draw out what they are trying to communicate on the wall of their cave. I have had six conversations in the past three days with a dude from one of the boroughs and it goes like this every time:
Him: So she and I did it, maybe it wasn't the best, but that's what we did.
Me: I understand.
Him: Maybe it wasn't the best, but that's what we did, you know, we felt that's what we had to do.
Me: Right, I got it. I totally understand what you are saying, and I have dealt with this exact type of situation before.
Him: You know what I am saying? Maybe we could have done something else, but we didn't, this is the way we did it, we thought, for us, this is what we should do, and that's what we did.
Me: Wait - what did you do?
Soooo frustrating. Hey, half-wit: I GOT IT! I hate dealing with "those people," I would rather live in Hell, or Scranton, than in one of those boroughs. Although, the Captain pointed out, "How do you know he doesn't hang up the phone and tell his wife, 'I have to tell this kid everything six times before he gets it.'"
By the way, that caller from the boroughs? Puff Daddy. No lie.
-----
The long road trip is over. Back home on Friday to play Detroit. If you need me before then, I'll be at Dos Minutos Int'l HQs talking to more people from New York's boroughs...You know, I'll be at the HQs talking to people from the boroughs...Yeah, I'm not saying you'll need me, but I'll be talking to people from the boroughs over at the HQs....Yo, you know, if need me, I'll be..........
-----
Monday, March 18, 2013
Heat 105 Celtics 103
6 Thoughts
1) I mean, that's how the streak was meant to end, right? You play your arch-rival, a franchise whose entire reason for existence is to suck the fun out of as many peoples' lives as possible, in their building, on the second night of a back-to-back. Further, the one player on their team the other Celtics despise the most, Kevin Garnett, pretended he had the flu so that his daddy, Chris Bosh, couldn't take him apart again, giving the rest of the Celtics players a huge energy boost because they were so elated to be freed from Garnett's annoying in-game antics. Most inspired was Garnett's backup, Jeff Green, who went nuclear with 43 points. You get down 17 early, battle back to take the lead in the third quarter, then get back down 13 again with under 9 minutes to go in the game. The in-bred Boston fans are going freakin' mental, knowing that they will have at least one exciting victory to talk about while mud-bogging for clams on the Cape this summer after the New Jersey Nets humiliate them in the second round of the playoffs. I mean, that's how it should end, that's fitting, right?...I just got one question for the Boston Celtics, and Celtic fans everywhere. Do you, umm, like apples? Did you hear me? I said: DO YOU LIKE APPLES!!! STREAKS!!! 23!!! LET IT FLYYY!!!
2) Jeff Green really played one of the best games I've seen a dude play in a super-long time, except for KJ James and Dwyane Wade, who each play that way fairly regularly. You don't win 23 games in a row running Norris Cole-Udonis Haslem pick-and-rolls, you know. Green had 22 points with 9 minutes left in the second quarter! The Celts kept running this complex set where they gave the ball to Green at the top of the key, he would drive right, either Udonis Haslem or Shane Battier would bump into him, and the refs would call a foul as he dropped the ball politely into the hoop. Then, when he got bored with that, he went back behind the three point line and started dropping triples. With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Celts up 13, he had 43 points. He came out for a brief rest right about the time KJ James came back into the game. Oops. From that point on, James scored 13 points - and also posted up and found shooters, especially a huge Mario "3io" Chalmers bomb from the top to put Miami up a point with 2:40 to go. Twice in the closing moments, Green tried to get to the rim: the first time Chris Bosh slid across the lane and blocked his shot (a solid 8 minutes of defensive effort from Christopher tonight), and the second time, with 7 seconds to go down 2, he tried to take Shane Battier off the dribble, only to have Battier block it. After about a thirty minute break while the referees tried to figure out if the ball had gone off Battier or Green (I mean, it's the same two or three replays. No matter how many times you look at it, it isn't going to change - make a call and let's move on), Pierce missed a triple with KJ standing in his chest, Battier clowned Pierce by throwing an inbounds pass off his back to end the game, and KJ was the hero, while Jeff Green became a historical footnote. Still Green was unbelievably fantastic, a career night for the ages: 43 points on 14-21 (5-7 triples), 7 rebounds, and 4 blocks, although the only cool Celtic fan I know, WebMinutos, wasn't pleased: "Jeff Green should have tried harder."
3) No Rondo, no Garnett (although the dark cloud of negativity and disappointment they breed could still be felt throughout the arena, like a deathly, poisonous haze). Now if only Paul Pierce skips the next game too, Boston might beat us...
4) It was a good win, a solid win, but let's face it, it was just another game for the Heat, while it was the Celtics' championship - they probably won't play a more meaningful game all year, if only because they won't have another chance to collectively a ruin a whole group of fans' joy so profoundly. The Heat will move on to the next city and forget about this one, while it will sting the Celtics for awhile, this will haunt them when they are shoveling the snow off Kevin Garnett's driveway tomorrow (his orders). Still, they are a professional basketball team - well, okay, they aren't professional about it, but they do play for money, and eventually they will move on and forget this one. Oh, all except for this guy:
5) KJ James on the dunk: "I seen him down there. I guess he didn't see me." Jason Terry: do you like apples?
6) Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn is dating former professional golfer Tiger Woods. You remember him, he's the guy whose wife tried to kill him with a golf club one Thanksgiving a few years ago. Hide the ski poles, Tiger: HIDE THE SKI POLES!!!
-----
Not sure when the next game is. Wednesday, against Cleveland, I believe. I hope we lose to them, just to spite Boston! If you need me before then, I WILL BE EATING APPLES!!!
-----
1) I mean, that's how the streak was meant to end, right? You play your arch-rival, a franchise whose entire reason for existence is to suck the fun out of as many peoples' lives as possible, in their building, on the second night of a back-to-back. Further, the one player on their team the other Celtics despise the most, Kevin Garnett, pretended he had the flu so that his daddy, Chris Bosh, couldn't take him apart again, giving the rest of the Celtics players a huge energy boost because they were so elated to be freed from Garnett's annoying in-game antics. Most inspired was Garnett's backup, Jeff Green, who went nuclear with 43 points. You get down 17 early, battle back to take the lead in the third quarter, then get back down 13 again with under 9 minutes to go in the game. The in-bred Boston fans are going freakin' mental, knowing that they will have at least one exciting victory to talk about while mud-bogging for clams on the Cape this summer after the New Jersey Nets humiliate them in the second round of the playoffs. I mean, that's how it should end, that's fitting, right?...I just got one question for the Boston Celtics, and Celtic fans everywhere. Do you, umm, like apples? Did you hear me? I said: DO YOU LIKE APPLES!!! STREAKS!!! 23!!! LET IT FLYYY!!!
2) Jeff Green really played one of the best games I've seen a dude play in a super-long time, except for KJ James and Dwyane Wade, who each play that way fairly regularly. You don't win 23 games in a row running Norris Cole-Udonis Haslem pick-and-rolls, you know. Green had 22 points with 9 minutes left in the second quarter! The Celts kept running this complex set where they gave the ball to Green at the top of the key, he would drive right, either Udonis Haslem or Shane Battier would bump into him, and the refs would call a foul as he dropped the ball politely into the hoop. Then, when he got bored with that, he went back behind the three point line and started dropping triples. With 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, and the Celts up 13, he had 43 points. He came out for a brief rest right about the time KJ James came back into the game. Oops. From that point on, James scored 13 points - and also posted up and found shooters, especially a huge Mario "3io" Chalmers bomb from the top to put Miami up a point with 2:40 to go. Twice in the closing moments, Green tried to get to the rim: the first time Chris Bosh slid across the lane and blocked his shot (a solid 8 minutes of defensive effort from Christopher tonight), and the second time, with 7 seconds to go down 2, he tried to take Shane Battier off the dribble, only to have Battier block it. After about a thirty minute break while the referees tried to figure out if the ball had gone off Battier or Green (I mean, it's the same two or three replays. No matter how many times you look at it, it isn't going to change - make a call and let's move on), Pierce missed a triple with KJ standing in his chest, Battier clowned Pierce by throwing an inbounds pass off his back to end the game, and KJ was the hero, while Jeff Green became a historical footnote. Still Green was unbelievably fantastic, a career night for the ages: 43 points on 14-21 (5-7 triples), 7 rebounds, and 4 blocks, although the only cool Celtic fan I know, WebMinutos, wasn't pleased: "Jeff Green should have tried harder."
3) No Rondo, no Garnett (although the dark cloud of negativity and disappointment they breed could still be felt throughout the arena, like a deathly, poisonous haze). Now if only Paul Pierce skips the next game too, Boston might beat us...
4) It was a good win, a solid win, but let's face it, it was just another game for the Heat, while it was the Celtics' championship - they probably won't play a more meaningful game all year, if only because they won't have another chance to collectively a ruin a whole group of fans' joy so profoundly. The Heat will move on to the next city and forget about this one, while it will sting the Celtics for awhile, this will haunt them when they are shoveling the snow off Kevin Garnett's driveway tomorrow (his orders). Still, they are a professional basketball team - well, okay, they aren't professional about it, but they do play for money, and eventually they will move on and forget this one. Oh, all except for this guy:
5) KJ James on the dunk: "I seen him down there. I guess he didn't see me." Jason Terry: do you like apples?
6) Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn is dating former professional golfer Tiger Woods. You remember him, he's the guy whose wife tried to kill him with a golf club one Thanksgiving a few years ago. Hide the ski poles, Tiger: HIDE THE SKI POLES!!!
-----
Not sure when the next game is. Wednesday, against Cleveland, I believe. I hope we lose to them, just to spite Boston! If you need me before then, I WILL BE EATING APPLES!!!
-----
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Heat 108 Raptors 91
6 Thoughts
1) Streak got extended to 22 in Toronto: deucy-deuce! Four different guys stepped out of bounds when starting drives early in this game due to the smaller Canadian court: metric system, baby! Big court, little court, American team, Canadian team - these days, it just doesn't matter. It's St. Patrick's Day: time to drink (and to let it fly)!
2) The Raptors made a bunch of really tough (mostly bad) shots to end the third quarter and begin the fourth quarter, and got the game tied with 11 minutes to go. Then Miami absolutely killed them. It started with the "second unit" on the court. One big problem for Miami's opponents right now: the second unit includes Dwyane Wade. Over the next 4 minutes, with no KJ James and Bosh, Miami went on a quick 12-0 run. They went: Ray Allen runner; Cole-to-Wade 60 foot alley-oop dunk; Battier-drive-and-kick-to-Ray triple; then, after the obligatory Toronto timeout, Birdman Anderson slipped a screen for Battier, caught and dunked on Amir Johnson's head for a 3 point play; then an early-offense quick post-up by Dwyane, Norris Cole lob over the top for the catch-and-layup-oop. Twelve point lead. Then James and Bosh came back in. ESPN writer and analytics expert Tom Haberstroh wrote an article about the James-Bosh-Wade-Allen-Battier lineup this week. In the last five minutes of close games during the streak, which amounted to 44 minutes (one full game), this unit outscored the opponents 134-71. That. Is. Crazy. Today wasn't a crunch-time situation, but that group took the 12 point lead, and over the next three minutes ballooned it to 24 - Ray made two more triples (16 fourth quarter points, 20 for the game) and Battier knocked in another one - and everyone came out with 4 minutes to go. It's the biggest challenge facing Heat playoff opponents this spring. That five man Heat group is going to play more - now Coach Spo only uses it at the end of games. They can pretty much match up defensively with anyone since KJ and Battier can both guard any small or power forward, and Wade is a dynamic defender and rebounder. Will opponents be able to take away open jump shots by Battier, Ray, and Bosh, while also protecting the rim aganist James and Wade? We'll see...
3) One thing about Miami, specifically James and Wade, that people don't always think about: they are not just great athletes, they are also super smart at playing basketball. Yes, their games are often like a track meet combined with a slam dunk contest, but that's not all they do - they put themselves in high percentage positions over and over and over. Toronto has two young-ish wings, Rudy Gay and DeMar DeRozan, who made a flurry of tough shots - mostly jumpers off the dribble - in the second half to allow the Raptors to hang around for a while. They are both plus-plus athletes: tall for their positions, quick, good jumpers, and coordinated. There are not too many teams Miami plays with wings who match up with James and Wade athletically. But their shot selection, their defense, and their ability to create high percentage plays for themselves and others, isn't even remotely comparable to James and Wade. The stat lines today demonstrate that perfectly: Gay and DeRozan combined to shoot 16-37 for 39 points; James and Wade 16-27 for 46 points. Ten less possessions, the same amount of hoops, and 7 more points. Even better, Gay and DeRozan: 4 combined assists; James and Wade: 17! That's 13 more buckets the Heat wings created with their passing. And Gay and DeRozan have the ball in their hands plenty. They are like the Bizarro James and Wade. There are plenty of talented and athletic wing tandems in this league. They aren't all as smart as KJ James and Dwyane Wade.
4) I thought the Birdman, Chris Anderson, was not great defensively today. I felt like he kept trying to bait pick-and-roll dribblers down the lane to try to block their shots, rather than flattening them out like he is supposed to do. Broke the defense a couple of times. He did make a couple of great rolls and catches offensively, and had 7 points in 16 minutes. He gives them a different look on both ends - he's the only big who can roll hard to the hoop, catch, and finish in traffic. More importantly, today Sunsports began running an ad for the Heat's summer camp which featured the Birdman conducting a drive-and-finish drill with a bunch of 8 year olds, which basically consisted of him doing the same thing he was doing in today's game: baiting kids down the lane for a layup. Good to practice what you are going to do in the games, even if the practice is against 8 year olds. One girl looked absolutely terrified and near tears when the 6'11" tattooed wildman got down in his defensive stance against her, and another young man went hard to the hole, though he had a bucket, and then Bird crush-blocked it into the 4th row of the arena stands. He also led the kids through a calisthenic warmup in which he encouraged them to flap their wings like giant condors. Parents: do what you want, but I might look into band camp for your kids this summer.
5) Heat announcers Tony Fiorentino and Eric Reid were really on top of their games today. Tony spent 6 first half minutes trying to figure out the time difference between Toronto and England, since Eric informed him that the game was being shown internationally on Skysports. He had it pegged at either 5 or 6 hours, and really took the time to explain to viewers that not all parts of the world are always on the same time. When it is Sunday morning over here, it could be, like, next Thursday night in the Phillipines, you know. A tweet from across the pond later in the game informed him that since Britain does not recognize daylight savings time, the difference is only 4 hours right now. These are the kind of concerns a team has during a 22 game winning streak...For his part, Eric very graciously gave a totally conscientious and appreciated spoiler-alert, inviting fans who were dvr'ing the Miami Hurricanes ACC championship game to turn their sound down so he could announce the score to those of us who wanted to know it (the Canes won). This is a lot better than last week's Sunday New York Times Travel section, which spoiled a major plot-point in my new favorite show, Downton Abbey. Yes, I am behind, just about to finish season two, while the real show just finished the third season. But it wasn't like the NYT didn't know they might be spoiling it for some people. In the article I was reading, they wrote: "(spoiler alert) major plot point." Hey, New York Times: I don't read only one word at a time, I'm a human being, my eyes are constantly moving over the text. If it's the next word, it's too late! Spoiler alert, New York Times: no one reads actual newspapers anymore, I'm probably the last mope on Earth who does it, and you just alienated me...Kudos to you, Eric Reid - you are a better journalist than anyone at the New York Times!
6) Speaking of Downton Abbey, I have another (mostly) non-sexual male crush, and it's on Matthew, the heir of Downton:
Dreamy blue eyes, English, and in uniform? That's the trifecta. I'm smitten...
-----
Well, it's all come down to this. Miami is tied for the second longest winning streak in NBA history, and the only thing stopping us from being in second by ourselves is (drumroll)........the Boston Celtics! #Duhhh-oooshball!!! Oh, so good! In a season where the Celtics are missing their best player, and have absolutely no chance to compete for the Eastern Conference title, the only thing that could possibly make a late season Heat-Celtic matchup exciting is if one team carried a historic winning streak into the game! Quel chance!!! That is going to be fun. If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be praying for World War III, so I get to see some more English dudes in uniform. Cheers!
-----
1) Streak got extended to 22 in Toronto: deucy-deuce! Four different guys stepped out of bounds when starting drives early in this game due to the smaller Canadian court: metric system, baby! Big court, little court, American team, Canadian team - these days, it just doesn't matter. It's St. Patrick's Day: time to drink (and to let it fly)!
2) The Raptors made a bunch of really tough (mostly bad) shots to end the third quarter and begin the fourth quarter, and got the game tied with 11 minutes to go. Then Miami absolutely killed them. It started with the "second unit" on the court. One big problem for Miami's opponents right now: the second unit includes Dwyane Wade. Over the next 4 minutes, with no KJ James and Bosh, Miami went on a quick 12-0 run. They went: Ray Allen runner; Cole-to-Wade 60 foot alley-oop dunk; Battier-drive-and-kick-to-Ray triple; then, after the obligatory Toronto timeout, Birdman Anderson slipped a screen for Battier, caught and dunked on Amir Johnson's head for a 3 point play; then an early-offense quick post-up by Dwyane, Norris Cole lob over the top for the catch-and-layup-oop. Twelve point lead. Then James and Bosh came back in. ESPN writer and analytics expert Tom Haberstroh wrote an article about the James-Bosh-Wade-Allen-Battier lineup this week. In the last five minutes of close games during the streak, which amounted to 44 minutes (one full game), this unit outscored the opponents 134-71. That. Is. Crazy. Today wasn't a crunch-time situation, but that group took the 12 point lead, and over the next three minutes ballooned it to 24 - Ray made two more triples (16 fourth quarter points, 20 for the game) and Battier knocked in another one - and everyone came out with 4 minutes to go. It's the biggest challenge facing Heat playoff opponents this spring. That five man Heat group is going to play more - now Coach Spo only uses it at the end of games. They can pretty much match up defensively with anyone since KJ and Battier can both guard any small or power forward, and Wade is a dynamic defender and rebounder. Will opponents be able to take away open jump shots by Battier, Ray, and Bosh, while also protecting the rim aganist James and Wade? We'll see...
3) One thing about Miami, specifically James and Wade, that people don't always think about: they are not just great athletes, they are also super smart at playing basketball. Yes, their games are often like a track meet combined with a slam dunk contest, but that's not all they do - they put themselves in high percentage positions over and over and over. Toronto has two young-ish wings, Rudy Gay and DeMar DeRozan, who made a flurry of tough shots - mostly jumpers off the dribble - in the second half to allow the Raptors to hang around for a while. They are both plus-plus athletes: tall for their positions, quick, good jumpers, and coordinated. There are not too many teams Miami plays with wings who match up with James and Wade athletically. But their shot selection, their defense, and their ability to create high percentage plays for themselves and others, isn't even remotely comparable to James and Wade. The stat lines today demonstrate that perfectly: Gay and DeRozan combined to shoot 16-37 for 39 points; James and Wade 16-27 for 46 points. Ten less possessions, the same amount of hoops, and 7 more points. Even better, Gay and DeRozan: 4 combined assists; James and Wade: 17! That's 13 more buckets the Heat wings created with their passing. And Gay and DeRozan have the ball in their hands plenty. They are like the Bizarro James and Wade. There are plenty of talented and athletic wing tandems in this league. They aren't all as smart as KJ James and Dwyane Wade.
4) I thought the Birdman, Chris Anderson, was not great defensively today. I felt like he kept trying to bait pick-and-roll dribblers down the lane to try to block their shots, rather than flattening them out like he is supposed to do. Broke the defense a couple of times. He did make a couple of great rolls and catches offensively, and had 7 points in 16 minutes. He gives them a different look on both ends - he's the only big who can roll hard to the hoop, catch, and finish in traffic. More importantly, today Sunsports began running an ad for the Heat's summer camp which featured the Birdman conducting a drive-and-finish drill with a bunch of 8 year olds, which basically consisted of him doing the same thing he was doing in today's game: baiting kids down the lane for a layup. Good to practice what you are going to do in the games, even if the practice is against 8 year olds. One girl looked absolutely terrified and near tears when the 6'11" tattooed wildman got down in his defensive stance against her, and another young man went hard to the hole, though he had a bucket, and then Bird crush-blocked it into the 4th row of the arena stands. He also led the kids through a calisthenic warmup in which he encouraged them to flap their wings like giant condors. Parents: do what you want, but I might look into band camp for your kids this summer.
5) Heat announcers Tony Fiorentino and Eric Reid were really on top of their games today. Tony spent 6 first half minutes trying to figure out the time difference between Toronto and England, since Eric informed him that the game was being shown internationally on Skysports. He had it pegged at either 5 or 6 hours, and really took the time to explain to viewers that not all parts of the world are always on the same time. When it is Sunday morning over here, it could be, like, next Thursday night in the Phillipines, you know. A tweet from across the pond later in the game informed him that since Britain does not recognize daylight savings time, the difference is only 4 hours right now. These are the kind of concerns a team has during a 22 game winning streak...For his part, Eric very graciously gave a totally conscientious and appreciated spoiler-alert, inviting fans who were dvr'ing the Miami Hurricanes ACC championship game to turn their sound down so he could announce the score to those of us who wanted to know it (the Canes won). This is a lot better than last week's Sunday New York Times Travel section, which spoiled a major plot-point in my new favorite show, Downton Abbey. Yes, I am behind, just about to finish season two, while the real show just finished the third season. But it wasn't like the NYT didn't know they might be spoiling it for some people. In the article I was reading, they wrote: "(spoiler alert) major plot point." Hey, New York Times: I don't read only one word at a time, I'm a human being, my eyes are constantly moving over the text. If it's the next word, it's too late! Spoiler alert, New York Times: no one reads actual newspapers anymore, I'm probably the last mope on Earth who does it, and you just alienated me...Kudos to you, Eric Reid - you are a better journalist than anyone at the New York Times!
6) Speaking of Downton Abbey, I have another (mostly) non-sexual male crush, and it's on Matthew, the heir of Downton:
Dreamy blue eyes, English, and in uniform? That's the trifecta. I'm smitten...
-----
Well, it's all come down to this. Miami is tied for the second longest winning streak in NBA history, and the only thing stopping us from being in second by ourselves is (drumroll)........the Boston Celtics! #Duhhh-oooshball!!! Oh, so good! In a season where the Celtics are missing their best player, and have absolutely no chance to compete for the Eastern Conference title, the only thing that could possibly make a late season Heat-Celtic matchup exciting is if one team carried a historic winning streak into the game! Quel chance!!! That is going to be fun. If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be praying for World War III, so I get to see some more English dudes in uniform. Cheers!
-----
Friday, March 15, 2013
Heat 107 Bucks 94
6 Thoughts
1) Blackjack! How fired up was I about this win? I made M.Minutos go out for a quick couple of drinks as soon as it ended! I'm drunk as a skunk! LET IT FLY!
2) Chris Bosh was as hot a human being, or a statue, can get. He drained long jumper after long jumper, and when the Bucks bigs started to run out at him, he put the ball on the floor past them and dunked. This is how he played early in the year - he dominated the opponent's bigs. In the third quarter, as Miami stretched the lead out, he made jumpers on three straight possessions, each one longer than the last, culminating in a triple from the top of the arc while getting crashed into - 4 point play. At the 7:00 mark of the third quarter, with the Heat firmly in control, he was 11-14 from the floor for 26 points. He so frustrated his defender, Larry Sanders (who is excellent defensively), that late in the game Sanders hammered KJ James on a post up, got called for a foul, bitched, got t'd up, then mockingly gave the refs a thumps up sign until they ejected him. Second time this year he's been ejeected against Miami. He's from Fort Pierce, Florida, not far from here, and he is a hothead! Oh my bosh!
3) More Sanders...he hit Dwyane Wade so hard on a first quarter drive that Wade was stretched out on the floor for several minutes, eventually had to be checked for a concussion in the locker room, and Sanders rushed over to him to make sure he was okay because he knew how hard he had hit him in the head. You know who wasn't concerned? The refs - no foul. Seemed impossible to call ANY foul after that on ANYONE - I mean if your standard is that a guy getting knocked semi-unconscious on a layup is not a foul, what possibly could be a foul? Dwyane got up off the floor and continued his 20+ streak with exactly 20, but shot only 8-17, ending his 50% plus streak (missed the last shot of the game, a late garbage-time shot clock jumper - awwww, damnnn!). The last time Miami played Milwaukee, Bucks guard Monta Ellis claimed the only difference between he and Dwyane Wade was that Dwyane Wade had two rings and had won more games. Ummm, okay. Tonight the difference was Dwyane scored 20 on 8-17 after being knocked silly, and added 9 assists and 7 rebounds, while Monta Ellis shot 3-11 for 7 points. They both are still black, though - in that way they are similar...
4) Biggest play of the game: the Bucks scrapped and got the lead down to 6 with about 9 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, as Miami's offense stagnated. With the crowd going bananas, Wade took the ball up top, dribbled it back and forth pointlessly for the third straight possession, and with the shot clock draining out, fired a pass to the left wing to Shane Battier, who drilled a triple so true that it had no chance to not go in. Nine point lead, the Bucks never made it close again: ballgame. Battier made both his triples and scored 9 points on 4 shots. As everyone has pointed out, he was also on the Rockets squad that won 22 games in a row in 2008. He can't really run, he can't jump at all, he can't dribble...but he makes huge plays over and over and over. Bringing him here was genius. Another big "thank you" to my dad, Pat Riley.
5) You know who isn't impressed with the Heat's 21 game winning streak? Boston Celtic Paul Pierce: "I don't care at all. I hope they lose every game for the rest of the season." Ha! The feeling is mutual! If Miami can beat Toronto Sunday, they roll into Boston on Monday...While Paul Pierce may not be enjoying the streak, everyone associated with the Heat is. This has been the most fun season, by far, that I ever remember. It started with signing Ray Allen in the offseason (and he instantly wins like 4 games with late triples); then KJ's super-awesome T-Mobile commercial; included a sweep of OKC over the holiday season; then a month's worth of the best basketball ever played by any player by KJ, including joyously hugging a fan at midcourt during a timeout; then Dwyane Wade started one of the best months of his career; followed by signing the Birdman; then making a silly Harlem Shake video that instantly went viral; and now, the third-longest winning streak in the history of the league. Check this out: they were 29-14. Now they are 50-14!!! I know I'm leaving out like 50 other things - I'm giddy, and I'm drunk. All the while getting every team's best shot (except Atlanta - they could care less), because we are #Champs. It's fun - the last week of this streak every game day has felt like a playoff game - heightened excitement - except that if we lose it is meaningless!!! I hope everyone is living in the moment and having fun - most seasons are not like this, this is a once-in-a-great-while kind of season. Chris Bosh and the rest of the team are definitely living in the moment. Bosh has made a cottage industry out of video bombing teammates' interviews to the point where it has become accepted as his signature across the nation: "I just Boshed someone," people will tweet out. Tonight, Bosh was the post-game interview, and KJ James video bombed him, roboting through Bosh's camera angle with a huge smile on his face! Very strong robot by KJ, as well. He's having fun, everyone is having fun (except Paul Pierce). Man, was ESPN's Bill Simmons (and other NBA writer-mopes) ever right: KJ James and Dwyane Wade HATE playing with each other! One of the most asinine, and least accurate, observations ever. I can't remember ever seeing a team have more fun. And I think all the fans are having fun, too. Thank you to Mr. Arison, and again, my dad Pat Riley, for putting this all together.
6)
"Do you have any messages for me? The room name is 'Pope.'"
-----
We are back Sunday in Toronto. I may still be drunk then - neighborhood block party tomorrow afternoon, and St. Paddy's Day Sunday. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking that super-zippy Due South Brewery IPA Cat 4 - I'm a beer dude now, boy! Slainte!
-----
1) Blackjack! How fired up was I about this win? I made M.Minutos go out for a quick couple of drinks as soon as it ended! I'm drunk as a skunk! LET IT FLY!
2) Chris Bosh was as hot a human being, or a statue, can get. He drained long jumper after long jumper, and when the Bucks bigs started to run out at him, he put the ball on the floor past them and dunked. This is how he played early in the year - he dominated the opponent's bigs. In the third quarter, as Miami stretched the lead out, he made jumpers on three straight possessions, each one longer than the last, culminating in a triple from the top of the arc while getting crashed into - 4 point play. At the 7:00 mark of the third quarter, with the Heat firmly in control, he was 11-14 from the floor for 26 points. He so frustrated his defender, Larry Sanders (who is excellent defensively), that late in the game Sanders hammered KJ James on a post up, got called for a foul, bitched, got t'd up, then mockingly gave the refs a thumps up sign until they ejected him. Second time this year he's been ejeected against Miami. He's from Fort Pierce, Florida, not far from here, and he is a hothead! Oh my bosh!
3) More Sanders...he hit Dwyane Wade so hard on a first quarter drive that Wade was stretched out on the floor for several minutes, eventually had to be checked for a concussion in the locker room, and Sanders rushed over to him to make sure he was okay because he knew how hard he had hit him in the head. You know who wasn't concerned? The refs - no foul. Seemed impossible to call ANY foul after that on ANYONE - I mean if your standard is that a guy getting knocked semi-unconscious on a layup is not a foul, what possibly could be a foul? Dwyane got up off the floor and continued his 20+ streak with exactly 20, but shot only 8-17, ending his 50% plus streak (missed the last shot of the game, a late garbage-time shot clock jumper - awwww, damnnn!). The last time Miami played Milwaukee, Bucks guard Monta Ellis claimed the only difference between he and Dwyane Wade was that Dwyane Wade had two rings and had won more games. Ummm, okay. Tonight the difference was Dwyane scored 20 on 8-17 after being knocked silly, and added 9 assists and 7 rebounds, while Monta Ellis shot 3-11 for 7 points. They both are still black, though - in that way they are similar...
4) Biggest play of the game: the Bucks scrapped and got the lead down to 6 with about 9 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, as Miami's offense stagnated. With the crowd going bananas, Wade took the ball up top, dribbled it back and forth pointlessly for the third straight possession, and with the shot clock draining out, fired a pass to the left wing to Shane Battier, who drilled a triple so true that it had no chance to not go in. Nine point lead, the Bucks never made it close again: ballgame. Battier made both his triples and scored 9 points on 4 shots. As everyone has pointed out, he was also on the Rockets squad that won 22 games in a row in 2008. He can't really run, he can't jump at all, he can't dribble...but he makes huge plays over and over and over. Bringing him here was genius. Another big "thank you" to my dad, Pat Riley.
5) You know who isn't impressed with the Heat's 21 game winning streak? Boston Celtic Paul Pierce: "I don't care at all. I hope they lose every game for the rest of the season." Ha! The feeling is mutual! If Miami can beat Toronto Sunday, they roll into Boston on Monday...While Paul Pierce may not be enjoying the streak, everyone associated with the Heat is. This has been the most fun season, by far, that I ever remember. It started with signing Ray Allen in the offseason (and he instantly wins like 4 games with late triples); then KJ's super-awesome T-Mobile commercial; included a sweep of OKC over the holiday season; then a month's worth of the best basketball ever played by any player by KJ, including joyously hugging a fan at midcourt during a timeout; then Dwyane Wade started one of the best months of his career; followed by signing the Birdman; then making a silly Harlem Shake video that instantly went viral; and now, the third-longest winning streak in the history of the league. Check this out: they were 29-14. Now they are 50-14!!! I know I'm leaving out like 50 other things - I'm giddy, and I'm drunk. All the while getting every team's best shot (except Atlanta - they could care less), because we are #Champs. It's fun - the last week of this streak every game day has felt like a playoff game - heightened excitement - except that if we lose it is meaningless!!! I hope everyone is living in the moment and having fun - most seasons are not like this, this is a once-in-a-great-while kind of season. Chris Bosh and the rest of the team are definitely living in the moment. Bosh has made a cottage industry out of video bombing teammates' interviews to the point where it has become accepted as his signature across the nation: "I just Boshed someone," people will tweet out. Tonight, Bosh was the post-game interview, and KJ James video bombed him, roboting through Bosh's camera angle with a huge smile on his face! Very strong robot by KJ, as well. He's having fun, everyone is having fun (except Paul Pierce). Man, was ESPN's Bill Simmons (and other NBA writer-mopes) ever right: KJ James and Dwyane Wade HATE playing with each other! One of the most asinine, and least accurate, observations ever. I can't remember ever seeing a team have more fun. And I think all the fans are having fun, too. Thank you to Mr. Arison, and again, my dad Pat Riley, for putting this all together.
6)
"Do you have any messages for me? The room name is 'Pope.'"
-----
We are back Sunday in Toronto. I may still be drunk then - neighborhood block party tomorrow afternoon, and St. Paddy's Day Sunday. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking that super-zippy Due South Brewery IPA Cat 4 - I'm a beer dude now, boy! Slainte!
-----
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Heat 98 Sixers 94
6 Thoughts
1) Toronto. Charlotte. Houston. Clippers. Lakers. Portland. OKC. Atlanta. Bulls. Sixers. Cavaliers. Kings. Grizzlies. Knicks. Timberwolves. Magic. Sixers. Pacers. Hawks. Sixers. Thank you, Sixers, you've really helped us out here. 20. Let it fly.
2) Make or Miss League, episode #10,243: Miami looked exhausted - got one first half spurt that included 4 KJ James dunks to get a double digit lead, but wore out over the second half. A 15-2 run put the Sixers up 3 with 4 minutes to go. With Miami back on top by a point with 30 seconds to go, James (27, 7, 8, but 1-10 in second half) drove right, took a hit, saw his layup roll off, got it back, flipped it up with his left hand, it rattled out...but Dwyane Wade snaked past Thaddeus Young and tipped it back in for a three point lead. After a timeout, the Sixers ran a high screen-and-roll and Spencer Hawes came free to the rim, caught a pass, and missed an absolutely uncontested bunny. Wade grabbed the rebound, made two free throws: ballgame. Wade's tip rattles out, or Hawes' layup rolls in, maybe the outcome is different. Make or miss league. Oh, yeah: Spencer Hawes!
3) You know who was great tonight? Theeeee Birdman! He's feeling his legs now, he's bouncy. Remember when he first joined the Heat, he had trouble finishing at the rim, and was often out of position defensively. Now he's alive - he sets really solid screens and rolls hard to the rim, he's reverse-flushing alley-oops, he's active defensively, he drives a Red Range, and he's the only Heat big who can contest a shot (forced an ugly Dorrell Wright miss on a drive in the second quarter), and get back up a second time to the rebound (grabbed the board, triggered a runout). Joel Anthony can contest the shot and get back up into the air, but the ball will squirt out of the sticks of butter he calls hands into the third row. Udonis Haslem can't contest the shot or get back up to the rebound. Chris Bosh doesn't see any need to do either until the Finals (he's probably right about that, actually, as cynical as it seems on his part). Birdman had 10 points, 5 rebounds, a block, and a few alters in 16 active minutes. Had a couple of dunks, and also two jumpers from the top of the key when he caught the ball, no one guarded him, he figured "hey, I'm the Birdman," and let it fly. Swish! Not sure if he should keep going to that well, though. In any case, this signing could not have worked out better - getting a free, helpful, rotation big halfway through the season is insane. There are a lot of contenders out there right now kicking themselves for not getting to him first.
4) A few notes about this streak, and other streak-like news: it's tied for the third longest streak in history. Miami hasn't lost a game for a whole quarter of the season! They haven't lost since February 1st, that's almost 6 weeks! Shane Battier was also on the team with the second longest streak in history, the 07-08 Rockets. In the last 11 games of this streak, Dwyane Wade has scored 20+ each game, and never shot under 50% from the floor - that's almost more impressive than the streak. Also, this was the second night of a back-to-back: Miami is 10-1 on the second night of back-to-backs, that's bonkers, no one does that in this league. Most importantly, the most obnoxious sports franchise in history, the Boston Celtics, you know what their longest streak is? 19! We're better than Boston - we can lose now. Although they won tonight, so they're sitting on 1 in a row. They're creeping up, only 20 more to go to beat us, assuming we ever lose again.
5) First, there was the revelation over the weekend that Coach Spo has a girlfriend. That's great, I'm happy for him. It seems a little wrong, but only in the sense that he's too busy to have a girlfriend, like the President or the new Pope. A long-suffering wife would be okay, but not a girlfriend. We don't want Spo getting distracted by his gal when he should be doing important things like breaking down game film of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Here's a picture of her, she's pretty:
But today, more news. From Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick's twitter account:
Ethan J. Skolnick@EthanJSkolnick
1) Toronto. Charlotte. Houston. Clippers. Lakers. Portland. OKC. Atlanta. Bulls. Sixers. Cavaliers. Kings. Grizzlies. Knicks. Timberwolves. Magic. Sixers. Pacers. Hawks. Sixers. Thank you, Sixers, you've really helped us out here. 20. Let it fly.
2) Make or Miss League, episode #10,243: Miami looked exhausted - got one first half spurt that included 4 KJ James dunks to get a double digit lead, but wore out over the second half. A 15-2 run put the Sixers up 3 with 4 minutes to go. With Miami back on top by a point with 30 seconds to go, James (27, 7, 8, but 1-10 in second half) drove right, took a hit, saw his layup roll off, got it back, flipped it up with his left hand, it rattled out...but Dwyane Wade snaked past Thaddeus Young and tipped it back in for a three point lead. After a timeout, the Sixers ran a high screen-and-roll and Spencer Hawes came free to the rim, caught a pass, and missed an absolutely uncontested bunny. Wade grabbed the rebound, made two free throws: ballgame. Wade's tip rattles out, or Hawes' layup rolls in, maybe the outcome is different. Make or miss league. Oh, yeah: Spencer Hawes!
3) You know who was great tonight? Theeeee Birdman! He's feeling his legs now, he's bouncy. Remember when he first joined the Heat, he had trouble finishing at the rim, and was often out of position defensively. Now he's alive - he sets really solid screens and rolls hard to the rim, he's reverse-flushing alley-oops, he's active defensively, he drives a Red Range, and he's the only Heat big who can contest a shot (forced an ugly Dorrell Wright miss on a drive in the second quarter), and get back up a second time to the rebound (grabbed the board, triggered a runout). Joel Anthony can contest the shot and get back up into the air, but the ball will squirt out of the sticks of butter he calls hands into the third row. Udonis Haslem can't contest the shot or get back up to the rebound. Chris Bosh doesn't see any need to do either until the Finals (he's probably right about that, actually, as cynical as it seems on his part). Birdman had 10 points, 5 rebounds, a block, and a few alters in 16 active minutes. Had a couple of dunks, and also two jumpers from the top of the key when he caught the ball, no one guarded him, he figured "hey, I'm the Birdman," and let it fly. Swish! Not sure if he should keep going to that well, though. In any case, this signing could not have worked out better - getting a free, helpful, rotation big halfway through the season is insane. There are a lot of contenders out there right now kicking themselves for not getting to him first.
4) A few notes about this streak, and other streak-like news: it's tied for the third longest streak in history. Miami hasn't lost a game for a whole quarter of the season! They haven't lost since February 1st, that's almost 6 weeks! Shane Battier was also on the team with the second longest streak in history, the 07-08 Rockets. In the last 11 games of this streak, Dwyane Wade has scored 20+ each game, and never shot under 50% from the floor - that's almost more impressive than the streak. Also, this was the second night of a back-to-back: Miami is 10-1 on the second night of back-to-backs, that's bonkers, no one does that in this league. Most importantly, the most obnoxious sports franchise in history, the Boston Celtics, you know what their longest streak is? 19! We're better than Boston - we can lose now. Although they won tonight, so they're sitting on 1 in a row. They're creeping up, only 20 more to go to beat us, assuming we ever lose again.
5) First, there was the revelation over the weekend that Coach Spo has a girlfriend. That's great, I'm happy for him. It seems a little wrong, but only in the sense that he's too busy to have a girlfriend, like the President or the new Pope. A long-suffering wife would be okay, but not a girlfriend. We don't want Spo getting distracted by his gal when he should be doing important things like breaking down game film of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Here's a picture of her, she's pretty:
But today, more news. From Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick's twitter account:
Ethan J. Skolnick
What's the protocol when u r in a 3-person airplane row, trying to work, and the couple next to you clearly, um, needs a room?
Ohhhh, mannn...C'mon, Spo, not on the team plane! Act like you've had a girlfriend before. This is what I was worried about.
6) So excited about this Pope. Everything's gonna be different now...When they are having that cabal thing, do you think there is a commissary in the Vatican where those pope dudes eat, or do they get it catered? I bet they get it catered. I'm not Catholic, by the way.
-----
Friday night we play in Milwaukee. Everyone has long assumed that's the game we will lose. It's a road game against an improving playoff team, and especially one that can get irrationally hot from the outside on a given night. Also, as Tony and Eric pointed out, Milwaukee will be defending the honor of the 70-71 Bucks, who had Lew Alcindor, and also won 20 straight. Odds that Bucks guards Brandon Jennings or Monta Ellis know who Lew Alcindor is (I'll give you the "or" - either one can know him): zero percent. There's only a 40% chance they know who all the current Milwaukee Bucks are. If you need me before Friday, I'll be making out in public with M.Minutos. PDA rules!
-----
-----
Friday night we play in Milwaukee. Everyone has long assumed that's the game we will lose. It's a road game against an improving playoff team, and especially one that can get irrationally hot from the outside on a given night. Also, as Tony and Eric pointed out, Milwaukee will be defending the honor of the 70-71 Bucks, who had Lew Alcindor, and also won 20 straight. Odds that Bucks guards Brandon Jennings or Monta Ellis know who Lew Alcindor is (I'll give you the "or" - either one can know him): zero percent. There's only a 40% chance they know who all the current Milwaukee Bucks are. If you need me before Friday, I'll be making out in public with M.Minutos. PDA rules!
-----
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Heat 98 Hawks 81
6 Thoughts
1) 19. Goodness gracious. Get in, let's go: let it fly.
2) I'm gonna say it: KJ James was stinky. He played reasonably hard, but he couldn't make a shot, he kept falling down, and dropping the ball. He finished with 15 points on 3-11 from the floor, 7 assists, 7 boards, and 4 turnovers. He didn't have to play in the fourth quarter - only 30 minutes on the night for KJ. Still, this game was never even remotely competitive. Miami led by 13 at half, 57-44, but had not they not missed layups and free throws all half, they would have scored 70 and been up 25. Mario "Emcee" Chalmers started things early by making a couple of triples, and scored 14; Walter Ray Allen and Chris Bosh each also scored 14; and, oh yeah, Dwyane pounded the rim all night for 23 points, and had 5 steals - 11 steals in the last two games for Dwyane. That's also ten games in a row for him with 20 points or more. Do we have to even say it? World of Wade: WoW.
3) Turning point in the game: when the Hawks didn't trade Josh Smith at the deadline! He came out in some kind of long, contested jumpshot-induced trance, and made only 7-16. His coup de grace came late in the first half when the Hawks ran the clock all the way down to take the last shot of the half, Emcee Chalmers blocked a Jeff Teague triple (!), Chris Bosh politely caught the ball 70 feet from the basket, took one casual dribble, and Josh Smith inexplicably wrapped him up from behind with .1 to go in the half, and the Heat in the bonus: two free throws, which Bosh drained. Someday when they open the Josh Smith Library in Atlanta, they should have this play running on an endless loop because this is the sort of thing he loves to do. If he didn't, he wouldn't even be Josh Smith, he'd be a totally different person. He'd be Al Horford (Al Horford!) Smith only made it through 24 minutes before his coach, Larry Drew, yanked him for good. The Hawks' effort level fluctuated between "zero" and "nonexistent" all night. Miami got a layup whenever they wanted - if they could have made one, they would have scored 130 points. The Hawks did not have the "fire in their eyes" tonight. They committed 22 turnovers - it wouldn't be surprising to learn that they didn't have eyes, period. Before the game, Josh Smith told the Sunsports crew that now that the trade deadline has passed, he can move on and focus on "doing something in the playoffs." Launch a lot of flat-footed triples and get eliminated?
4) It was PJ Brown Night at The Trip! Collier Brown Jr! I loved to yell at that kid - in those days with Tim Hardaway and Zo Mourning (Hubie-ism) playing so visibly hard, the calm, eyebrows-raised PJ was the easiest to blame for our shortcomings. He just seemed so mellow out there...right up until the moment where he went all Bruce Banner on the Knicks, hurled point guard Charlie Ward head-over-heels into the crowd, and got suspended for the last two games of that series. Totally worth it, by the way...plus we won the series. My dog is named after him, and it was good to see PJ looking fit and doing well. Eric Reid asked him about his championship run late in his career with the Celtics in 2008, when he and Ray Allen were able to carry Boston to a title almost by themselves: "it was terrific winning a title, of course, but in the end, having to spend month after month with Kevin Garnett, Rajon Rondo, and Paul Pierce was probably not worth it, it was the least enjoyable time of my life. I pride myself on being able to get along with everyone, and I work hard to see the positive qualities in people, but those guys had absolutely no redeeming qualities as human beings whatsoever. It was a bittersweet championship knowing that Ray and myself had pushed those three social reprobates to the only significant success they ever experienced in their careers." Man, well-said. I don't think I could have scripted it any better myself. #Doucheball
5) News from around the NBA: my sources say that Bulls guard Derrick Rose is absolutely ready physically to return to action, but is wary that he might get completely shut down by KJ James in a playoff series again. Depending on how the seeds appear to be lining up in these last few weeks, Rose is likely to skip the entire season if it looks likely that the Bulls would have to play the Heat in one of the first two rounds...also, another source tells me that the New Jersey Nets' deep-pocketed owner Mikhail Prokorovho (unsure of spelling -difficult to confirm since he is not American) is likely to hire away Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau this off-season with an annual salary believed to start in the neighborhood of seven million dollars. Caveat: my source for this story is great friend of the blog Plumber, who is a long-suffering Nets fan and hates current Nets coach PJ Carlesimo's rotations...
6) Little known fact about me: I co-wrote (and sang backup on) the Oran "Juice" Jones hit "The Rain" from the mid-80s. It was one of those magical things where I woke up one morning and had the whole song in my head from beginning to end - sang a bit of it into my little cassette recorder, called Juice, headed to the studio, and we pretty much knocked the whole song out that same day. I remember having a huge argument about the long talking part he does in the middle of the song - I didn't write that at all, he did. I remember telling him, "Juice, I know it seems cool now, but a few years down the line it's gonna sound super-douchey to have a long talking breakdown where you are repping your $3700 lynx coat - no one wants to hear that, dude." But he was like, "naw, B, lynx coats ain't never gonna go out of fashion, it could be 2013 and people will still be rocking that style." I guess he was right: lynx jackets are still pretty popular, you can't go anywhere without seeing one, these days. And my song is still a classic. A lot of people wonder what happened to Juice - he went to star in the television smash ER under his real name, Eriq LaSalle. I never got that mainstream television success, so the royalty checks The Rain still delivers to my mailbox every so often are welcomed. Enjoy this one, it's a classic, and I'm pretty proud of it:
-----
We are right back at it tomorrow night in Philadelphia. A bunch of road games coming up - streak's gonna end soon, sadly. It would be nice never to lose again. If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be bringing all my lynx apparel to the dry cleaners: "be very careful with this stuff - it's lynx!"
-----
1) 19. Goodness gracious. Get in, let's go: let it fly.
2) I'm gonna say it: KJ James was stinky. He played reasonably hard, but he couldn't make a shot, he kept falling down, and dropping the ball. He finished with 15 points on 3-11 from the floor, 7 assists, 7 boards, and 4 turnovers. He didn't have to play in the fourth quarter - only 30 minutes on the night for KJ. Still, this game was never even remotely competitive. Miami led by 13 at half, 57-44, but had not they not missed layups and free throws all half, they would have scored 70 and been up 25. Mario "Emcee" Chalmers started things early by making a couple of triples, and scored 14; Walter Ray Allen and Chris Bosh each also scored 14; and, oh yeah, Dwyane pounded the rim all night for 23 points, and had 5 steals - 11 steals in the last two games for Dwyane. That's also ten games in a row for him with 20 points or more. Do we have to even say it? World of Wade: WoW.
3) Turning point in the game: when the Hawks didn't trade Josh Smith at the deadline! He came out in some kind of long, contested jumpshot-induced trance, and made only 7-16. His coup de grace came late in the first half when the Hawks ran the clock all the way down to take the last shot of the half, Emcee Chalmers blocked a Jeff Teague triple (!), Chris Bosh politely caught the ball 70 feet from the basket, took one casual dribble, and Josh Smith inexplicably wrapped him up from behind with .1 to go in the half, and the Heat in the bonus: two free throws, which Bosh drained. Someday when they open the Josh Smith Library in Atlanta, they should have this play running on an endless loop because this is the sort of thing he loves to do. If he didn't, he wouldn't even be Josh Smith, he'd be a totally different person. He'd be Al Horford (Al Horford!) Smith only made it through 24 minutes before his coach, Larry Drew, yanked him for good. The Hawks' effort level fluctuated between "zero" and "nonexistent" all night. Miami got a layup whenever they wanted - if they could have made one, they would have scored 130 points. The Hawks did not have the "fire in their eyes" tonight. They committed 22 turnovers - it wouldn't be surprising to learn that they didn't have eyes, period. Before the game, Josh Smith told the Sunsports crew that now that the trade deadline has passed, he can move on and focus on "doing something in the playoffs." Launch a lot of flat-footed triples and get eliminated?
4) It was PJ Brown Night at The Trip! Collier Brown Jr! I loved to yell at that kid - in those days with Tim Hardaway and Zo Mourning (Hubie-ism) playing so visibly hard, the calm, eyebrows-raised PJ was the easiest to blame for our shortcomings. He just seemed so mellow out there...right up until the moment where he went all Bruce Banner on the Knicks, hurled point guard Charlie Ward head-over-heels into the crowd, and got suspended for the last two games of that series. Totally worth it, by the way...plus we won the series. My dog is named after him, and it was good to see PJ looking fit and doing well. Eric Reid asked him about his championship run late in his career with the Celtics in 2008, when he and Ray Allen were able to carry Boston to a title almost by themselves: "it was terrific winning a title, of course, but in the end, having to spend month after month with Kevin Garnett, Rajon Rondo, and Paul Pierce was probably not worth it, it was the least enjoyable time of my life. I pride myself on being able to get along with everyone, and I work hard to see the positive qualities in people, but those guys had absolutely no redeeming qualities as human beings whatsoever. It was a bittersweet championship knowing that Ray and myself had pushed those three social reprobates to the only significant success they ever experienced in their careers." Man, well-said. I don't think I could have scripted it any better myself. #Doucheball
5) News from around the NBA: my sources say that Bulls guard Derrick Rose is absolutely ready physically to return to action, but is wary that he might get completely shut down by KJ James in a playoff series again. Depending on how the seeds appear to be lining up in these last few weeks, Rose is likely to skip the entire season if it looks likely that the Bulls would have to play the Heat in one of the first two rounds...also, another source tells me that the New Jersey Nets' deep-pocketed owner Mikhail Prokorovho (unsure of spelling -difficult to confirm since he is not American) is likely to hire away Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau this off-season with an annual salary believed to start in the neighborhood of seven million dollars. Caveat: my source for this story is great friend of the blog Plumber, who is a long-suffering Nets fan and hates current Nets coach PJ Carlesimo's rotations...
6) Little known fact about me: I co-wrote (and sang backup on) the Oran "Juice" Jones hit "The Rain" from the mid-80s. It was one of those magical things where I woke up one morning and had the whole song in my head from beginning to end - sang a bit of it into my little cassette recorder, called Juice, headed to the studio, and we pretty much knocked the whole song out that same day. I remember having a huge argument about the long talking part he does in the middle of the song - I didn't write that at all, he did. I remember telling him, "Juice, I know it seems cool now, but a few years down the line it's gonna sound super-douchey to have a long talking breakdown where you are repping your $3700 lynx coat - no one wants to hear that, dude." But he was like, "naw, B, lynx coats ain't never gonna go out of fashion, it could be 2013 and people will still be rocking that style." I guess he was right: lynx jackets are still pretty popular, you can't go anywhere without seeing one, these days. And my song is still a classic. A lot of people wonder what happened to Juice - he went to star in the television smash ER under his real name, Eriq LaSalle. I never got that mainstream television success, so the royalty checks The Rain still delivers to my mailbox every so often are welcomed. Enjoy this one, it's a classic, and I'm pretty proud of it:
-----
We are right back at it tomorrow night in Philadelphia. A bunch of road games coming up - streak's gonna end soon, sadly. It would be nice never to lose again. If you need me before tomorrow, I'll be bringing all my lynx apparel to the dry cleaners: "be very careful with this stuff - it's lynx!"
-----
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Heat 105 Pacers 91
6 Thoughts
1) Man, I have to be honest with you: I thought that game would be a lot harder. I mean, I thought that would be a battle, a war, an absolute slugfest between the best two teams in the East. As good as the Pacers claim that they are - and they do a lot of claiming - you figured this would be an outstanding game. But, really, no, Miami blew their doors off, dominated them all night long, and didn't even need a particularly great game from KJ James to do it. Hey, Coach Frank Vogel, see that pile of numbers on that desk next to you? No, behind our championship trophy from last year, I mean the little stack of numbers behind it, like the ones you use in the little calendars at the deposit table in a bank - can you go through those and find me the "18?" Yeah, we need the 18. Let it fly.
2) If you are gonna beat the self-proclaimed best defense in basketball (I can't lie - they are good), you probably need a huge night from presumptive MVP KJ James, right? No, not really. Well, then Dwyane Wade must have absolutely exploded? Nope - he was great, but just as much defensively as offensively. On this night, Chris Bosh and Mario "Emcee" Chalmers were ultra-aggressive, and together they turned this game into a blowout. Bosh set the tone early with 9 first quarter points, including a blow-by flush on Roy Hibbert and David West, and he also blocked an early shot, and set an uncharacteristically physical tone by chasing down Paul George in transition and stopping his dunk with a hard foul. He also closed the game late - made 4 straight jumpers in the fourth quarter as the Pacers tried to stay in the game. For all the talk the Pacers do, and for all the people who think that Indiana can beat Miami in the Eastern playoffs, everyone forgets: Miami beat them in 6 without Bosh last year. The Pacers pack the paint - having Bosh to space the floor makes a huge difference - 11-15 for 24 points, 4 assists - he moved the ball nicely - and 3 blocks. Why does he only play well in big games? Also a big game player: Emcee Chalmers. It wasn't just the 5-6 triples for 26 points - he also attacked the paint for layups, and generally kept the ball moving on offense. Terrific night for those two guys - obviously, when those two guys play this well in a game, the Heat aren't going to lose very often.
3) Play of the game: we're making this the plays of the game, and they were all Dwyane Wade. With time running down in the second quarter, after Indiana got into the penalty early and made a ton of free throws to get the lead down to 6, KJ James drove right against Roy Hibbert and tomahawked the ball on him with extreme aggression with about 10 seconds to go. Indiana got the ball into George who tried to weave upcourt for a last shot, but as he turned at midcourt, Wade suddenly flashed in front of him low, swiped the ball, motored the other way, checked the shot clock, and dropped an 18 footer in over Roy Hibbert at the buzzer for a 10 point lead. In the fourth quarter, with the Pacers still clinging to life, down 12, Wade aggressively ripped a pass out of Tyler Hansbrough's hands, drove down court, and found Chris Birdman for a dunk. Pacers' coach Vogel got t'd up arguing for a foul on Wade, Ray Allen made the free throw, the Pacers brought the ball back up court, and Wade immediately ripped a pass out of Paul George's hands, and flushed on the other end: +17, timeout Pacers, annnnd, ballgame! Six steals for Dwyane tonight (and 23 points on 9-16): WoW!
4) The Pacers, everyone agrees, are the dirtiest team in the league. They are an onslaught of high elbows off the ball, and pushes in the back. They also sit in the paint on defense and dare illegal defense calls - kind of proud of the refs tonight, they called 3 illegal defenses on them, that's unheard of. Also, every time they make a mistake, David West yells at the offender, shakes his head in disgust, and walks back upcourt - for some reason he feels the need to make it very clear he didn't mess up the possession. Like he's Karl Malone out there. What a bad teammate - lighten up, Tough Boy...So that's how they do. Early on in this game, Pacer guard Lance Stephenson held the ball out on the wing, and as KJ James pressed up on him, Stevenson swung an elbow and caught KJ in the chin, doubling him over. The refs called a foul - probably should have been a flagrant, it was a fairly physical play, but not as physical as when Stevenson threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs in 2010. That's not a joke (at all), you can look it up. KJ was supermad, and so were the rest of the Heat, and they went out of their way to pound Stevenson the rest of the night. In the third quarter, he got middle off the dribble and Shane Battier, of all people, grabbed him by the arms, made absolutely no play on the ball whatsoever, swung him around, whacked him in the face for good measure, and then discarded him into the basket stanchion, where Stevenson stayed down for a good while. The refs called a flagrant, went to the monitor to review it, and replays showed it was even worse than it looked live action - it was a clear "f- you," foul. Then, somehow, the refs rescinded the flagrant, as Vogel went mental. I know the NBA claims refs don't take into account reputations, etc, but there is no way anything happened in that referee huddle other than, "you know what? Stevenson's been asking for that all night, let's take away the flagrant." In the fourth quarter, he was guarding KJ, and trying to pick up full court, and Chris Anderson kept coming up and setting early screens in odd spots just to hammer him. Finally, on a late missed Pacers jumper with the rout on, KJ elevated for the rebound, grabbed it, saw Stevenson under him, and absolutely drilled him with a forearm to the neck. Stevenson was wobbled, but gamely set off after KJ only to get picked off by another Anderson screen, with an extra shoulder that dropped him to the ground again as Chalmers nailed his fifth triple. Again - Anderson's screen was an "f- you" screen, it was absolutely outside the lines, and the refs were like, "ehh, I didn't see anything." Much like last year's playoffs when Dexter Pittman almost decapitated him with a forearm shiver, Stevenson went looking for trouble, and found it. Funny how that goes sometimes...
5) KJ was physical on both ends of the court, but with everyone else making shots, he didn't need to shoot much. He defended and facilitated, and had 7 assists, 6 rebounds, and 13 points on 5-10. He was patient - he was ready if they needed him, he looked spry, but they never really did. Quiet night for the MVP, many guys on his own team outshone him tonight. On the other hand, none of them have a giant chocolate life-sized statue being built in their likeness:
Oh, that looks delicious, if you like poop! Really, I just ate, I'm not that hungry for dessert, thanks...
6) I got nothing for you here, sorry, I did not plan a #6 for you tonight. How about a cool acoustic version of Bulletproof by La Roux? I'll be playing this on St. Paddy's Day in Palm Beach Gardens with great friend of the blog Snet's band - I know how much they are looking forward to backing me on it. Come on out and see me folks, I'm gonna put on quite a show! (if I show up - I'm kind of notorious for missing gigs)...Underrated great thing about this video: it's at something called the Ed Hardy Studio! Haaaa! That noted musical savant Ed Hardy - I wondered when he was going to start hosting outstanding musical performances. It was almost as if he was spending so much time designing ridiculously douchey t-shirts that he didn't have time for great music. Thank god now he does. For real, though, this song is ill:
-----
Next game is Tuesday against Atlanta. Miami's 18 straight is the longest streak in the league so far this season, one of the longer streaks in NBA history, and the one seed in the East is just about guaranteed. We're gonna have to lose eventually - haven't taken an L since February 1st. That's crazy. If you need me before Tuesday, I'll be making a giant life size marshmallow peep of Lance Stevenson. See you Tuesday!
-----
1) Man, I have to be honest with you: I thought that game would be a lot harder. I mean, I thought that would be a battle, a war, an absolute slugfest between the best two teams in the East. As good as the Pacers claim that they are - and they do a lot of claiming - you figured this would be an outstanding game. But, really, no, Miami blew their doors off, dominated them all night long, and didn't even need a particularly great game from KJ James to do it. Hey, Coach Frank Vogel, see that pile of numbers on that desk next to you? No, behind our championship trophy from last year, I mean the little stack of numbers behind it, like the ones you use in the little calendars at the deposit table in a bank - can you go through those and find me the "18?" Yeah, we need the 18. Let it fly.
2) If you are gonna beat the self-proclaimed best defense in basketball (I can't lie - they are good), you probably need a huge night from presumptive MVP KJ James, right? No, not really. Well, then Dwyane Wade must have absolutely exploded? Nope - he was great, but just as much defensively as offensively. On this night, Chris Bosh and Mario "Emcee" Chalmers were ultra-aggressive, and together they turned this game into a blowout. Bosh set the tone early with 9 first quarter points, including a blow-by flush on Roy Hibbert and David West, and he also blocked an early shot, and set an uncharacteristically physical tone by chasing down Paul George in transition and stopping his dunk with a hard foul. He also closed the game late - made 4 straight jumpers in the fourth quarter as the Pacers tried to stay in the game. For all the talk the Pacers do, and for all the people who think that Indiana can beat Miami in the Eastern playoffs, everyone forgets: Miami beat them in 6 without Bosh last year. The Pacers pack the paint - having Bosh to space the floor makes a huge difference - 11-15 for 24 points, 4 assists - he moved the ball nicely - and 3 blocks. Why does he only play well in big games? Also a big game player: Emcee Chalmers. It wasn't just the 5-6 triples for 26 points - he also attacked the paint for layups, and generally kept the ball moving on offense. Terrific night for those two guys - obviously, when those two guys play this well in a game, the Heat aren't going to lose very often.
3) Play of the game: we're making this the plays of the game, and they were all Dwyane Wade. With time running down in the second quarter, after Indiana got into the penalty early and made a ton of free throws to get the lead down to 6, KJ James drove right against Roy Hibbert and tomahawked the ball on him with extreme aggression with about 10 seconds to go. Indiana got the ball into George who tried to weave upcourt for a last shot, but as he turned at midcourt, Wade suddenly flashed in front of him low, swiped the ball, motored the other way, checked the shot clock, and dropped an 18 footer in over Roy Hibbert at the buzzer for a 10 point lead. In the fourth quarter, with the Pacers still clinging to life, down 12, Wade aggressively ripped a pass out of Tyler Hansbrough's hands, drove down court, and found Chris Birdman for a dunk. Pacers' coach Vogel got t'd up arguing for a foul on Wade, Ray Allen made the free throw, the Pacers brought the ball back up court, and Wade immediately ripped a pass out of Paul George's hands, and flushed on the other end: +17, timeout Pacers, annnnd, ballgame! Six steals for Dwyane tonight (and 23 points on 9-16): WoW!
4) The Pacers, everyone agrees, are the dirtiest team in the league. They are an onslaught of high elbows off the ball, and pushes in the back. They also sit in the paint on defense and dare illegal defense calls - kind of proud of the refs tonight, they called 3 illegal defenses on them, that's unheard of. Also, every time they make a mistake, David West yells at the offender, shakes his head in disgust, and walks back upcourt - for some reason he feels the need to make it very clear he didn't mess up the possession. Like he's Karl Malone out there. What a bad teammate - lighten up, Tough Boy...So that's how they do. Early on in this game, Pacer guard Lance Stephenson held the ball out on the wing, and as KJ James pressed up on him, Stevenson swung an elbow and caught KJ in the chin, doubling him over. The refs called a foul - probably should have been a flagrant, it was a fairly physical play, but not as physical as when Stevenson threw his girlfriend down a flight of stairs in 2010. That's not a joke (at all), you can look it up. KJ was supermad, and so were the rest of the Heat, and they went out of their way to pound Stevenson the rest of the night. In the third quarter, he got middle off the dribble and Shane Battier, of all people, grabbed him by the arms, made absolutely no play on the ball whatsoever, swung him around, whacked him in the face for good measure, and then discarded him into the basket stanchion, where Stevenson stayed down for a good while. The refs called a flagrant, went to the monitor to review it, and replays showed it was even worse than it looked live action - it was a clear "f- you," foul. Then, somehow, the refs rescinded the flagrant, as Vogel went mental. I know the NBA claims refs don't take into account reputations, etc, but there is no way anything happened in that referee huddle other than, "you know what? Stevenson's been asking for that all night, let's take away the flagrant." In the fourth quarter, he was guarding KJ, and trying to pick up full court, and Chris Anderson kept coming up and setting early screens in odd spots just to hammer him. Finally, on a late missed Pacers jumper with the rout on, KJ elevated for the rebound, grabbed it, saw Stevenson under him, and absolutely drilled him with a forearm to the neck. Stevenson was wobbled, but gamely set off after KJ only to get picked off by another Anderson screen, with an extra shoulder that dropped him to the ground again as Chalmers nailed his fifth triple. Again - Anderson's screen was an "f- you" screen, it was absolutely outside the lines, and the refs were like, "ehh, I didn't see anything." Much like last year's playoffs when Dexter Pittman almost decapitated him with a forearm shiver, Stevenson went looking for trouble, and found it. Funny how that goes sometimes...
5) KJ was physical on both ends of the court, but with everyone else making shots, he didn't need to shoot much. He defended and facilitated, and had 7 assists, 6 rebounds, and 13 points on 5-10. He was patient - he was ready if they needed him, he looked spry, but they never really did. Quiet night for the MVP, many guys on his own team outshone him tonight. On the other hand, none of them have a giant chocolate life-sized statue being built in their likeness:
Oh, that looks delicious, if you like poop! Really, I just ate, I'm not that hungry for dessert, thanks...
6) I got nothing for you here, sorry, I did not plan a #6 for you tonight. How about a cool acoustic version of Bulletproof by La Roux? I'll be playing this on St. Paddy's Day in Palm Beach Gardens with great friend of the blog Snet's band - I know how much they are looking forward to backing me on it. Come on out and see me folks, I'm gonna put on quite a show! (if I show up - I'm kind of notorious for missing gigs)...Underrated great thing about this video: it's at something called the Ed Hardy Studio! Haaaa! That noted musical savant Ed Hardy - I wondered when he was going to start hosting outstanding musical performances. It was almost as if he was spending so much time designing ridiculously douchey t-shirts that he didn't have time for great music. Thank god now he does. For real, though, this song is ill:
-----
Next game is Tuesday against Atlanta. Miami's 18 straight is the longest streak in the league so far this season, one of the longer streaks in NBA history, and the one seed in the East is just about guaranteed. We're gonna have to lose eventually - haven't taken an L since February 1st. That's crazy. If you need me before Tuesday, I'll be making a giant life size marshmallow peep of Lance Stevenson. See you Tuesday!
-----
Friday, March 8, 2013
Heat 102 Sixers 93
6 Thoughts
1) I'm going to be totally honest with you: I'm a little drunk after a few pops at Due South Brewery; Miami played fairly poorly and with little energy; the Sixers are atrocious; and this game was more boring than a slumber party at Derrick Rose's house. Still, it's 17 wins in a row. Let's get through this: let it fly.
2) KJ James was pretty good: 25, 10, and 5 on 10-17. Dwyane Wade scored 22 on 9-16. That was pretty much all Miami needed. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid reported that at the All-Star Game a couple weeks back, first time Sixer All-Star Jrue Jholiday jspent jalot jof jtime jasking jAll-Star jcoach Jerik Jspoelstra jabout Jdwyane Jwade's jgame jpreparation. "He has sex with Gabrielle Union," Spo told him, "how do you get ready to play?" "Umm, pre-game sauna and hot tub with Doug Collins."
3) Play of the game: in the second quarter, Ray Allen stole a ball on the defensive end, motored up court, and encountered one Sixer back half-heartedly guarding the rim. As the Sixer relaxed, expecting Allen to fan out and wait for help, or shoot a jumper, Ray suddenly accelerated, held the ball out in front of him in his right hand, bounced off the floor, and pounded a one-handed tomahawk dunk through the rim! Send it in, Walter Ray!...Yeah, that's all I got for you - this was not an exciting game. Let's move on to some other stuff.
4) What? Did wacky Denver Nuggets center JaVale McGee call former NBA center, and now mind-numbingly piss-poor announcer, Shaquille O'Neal a coon on live national television on Thursday night? Yes. Yes, he did (Shaq has a tv segment titled "Shaqtin the Fool," in which he merciless makes fun of McGee's every mistake). My heavens, that's brutal, I don't condone that kind of black-on-black crime, that's not funny at all…Okay, it's a little funny:
5) Save the date: KJ James is getting married! He and his long-time fiancée, Savannah Brinson, will wed in San Diego the weekend of September 14th. Oh, no: that's Yom Kippur! I can’t go, my rabbi is a Knicks fan (obviously), he will never excuse me. Damn Jew York Knicks…annnddd, scene! See what I did there? Jew on Jew crime! Shaqtin' the Jew!!!
6) Downton Abbey makes South Fork from Dallas look like a crack house on 8 Mile in Detroit:
-----
San Antonio lost tonight: Miami has the best record in basketball. Just saying...Next game is Sunday against the last team to beat Miami, the Indiana Pacers (on February 1st, damnnn). They are cheap shot artists, and their coach is a proven liar. Besides that, they're a standup group of kids. If you need me before then, I'll be, ummm, yeah, I'll pretty much be at Due South, drinking more craft-brewed beers. Bottoms up!
-----
-->
1) I'm going to be totally honest with you: I'm a little drunk after a few pops at Due South Brewery; Miami played fairly poorly and with little energy; the Sixers are atrocious; and this game was more boring than a slumber party at Derrick Rose's house. Still, it's 17 wins in a row. Let's get through this: let it fly.
2) KJ James was pretty good: 25, 10, and 5 on 10-17. Dwyane Wade scored 22 on 9-16. That was pretty much all Miami needed. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid reported that at the All-Star Game a couple weeks back, first time Sixer All-Star Jrue Jholiday jspent jalot jof jtime jasking jAll-Star jcoach Jerik Jspoelstra jabout Jdwyane Jwade's jgame jpreparation. "He has sex with Gabrielle Union," Spo told him, "how do you get ready to play?" "Umm, pre-game sauna and hot tub with Doug Collins."
3) Play of the game: in the second quarter, Ray Allen stole a ball on the defensive end, motored up court, and encountered one Sixer back half-heartedly guarding the rim. As the Sixer relaxed, expecting Allen to fan out and wait for help, or shoot a jumper, Ray suddenly accelerated, held the ball out in front of him in his right hand, bounced off the floor, and pounded a one-handed tomahawk dunk through the rim! Send it in, Walter Ray!...Yeah, that's all I got for you - this was not an exciting game. Let's move on to some other stuff.
4) What? Did wacky Denver Nuggets center JaVale McGee call former NBA center, and now mind-numbingly piss-poor announcer, Shaquille O'Neal a coon on live national television on Thursday night? Yes. Yes, he did (Shaq has a tv segment titled "Shaqtin the Fool," in which he merciless makes fun of McGee's every mistake). My heavens, that's brutal, I don't condone that kind of black-on-black crime, that's not funny at all…Okay, it's a little funny:
5) Save the date: KJ James is getting married! He and his long-time fiancée, Savannah Brinson, will wed in San Diego the weekend of September 14th. Oh, no: that's Yom Kippur! I can’t go, my rabbi is a Knicks fan (obviously), he will never excuse me. Damn Jew York Knicks…annnddd, scene! See what I did there? Jew on Jew crime! Shaqtin' the Jew!!!
6) Downton Abbey makes South Fork from Dallas look like a crack house on 8 Mile in Detroit:
-----
San Antonio lost tonight: Miami has the best record in basketball. Just saying...Next game is Sunday against the last team to beat Miami, the Indiana Pacers (on February 1st, damnnn). They are cheap shot artists, and their coach is a proven liar. Besides that, they're a standup group of kids. If you need me before then, I'll be, ummm, yeah, I'll pretty much be at Due South, drinking more craft-brewed beers. Bottoms up!
-----
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)