1) Even KJ James is human. He can't win every game all by himself (just most of them). That's why with three minutes to go in a tie game, I quietly took my laptop off my lap, shifted it on to the desk next to me to change up the momentum, and the Heat pulled away down the stretch to win. I think it's fair to say I won the game, with some timely assistance in the waning moments from Shane Battier (and Dwyane Wade, who was good all night, 22 points, 8 assists, on 9-16)...Oh yeah, and that dude KJ James? On his worst shooting night of the season? He made the biggest shot of the game, and the biggest defensive play of the game - maybe he can win every game all by himself! YEAHHHH, BOYYYY, WE HARLEMMM SHAKINNNN, THIRTEEN IN A ROW, THIS ONE WAS SO CLOSE WE ALMOST HAD TO PUT MIKE MILLER IN!!! LET IT FLY! BIRDMAN, DRIVE A RED RANGE, AND LET IT FLY!!!
2) Battier is freaking crazy. He just is. He shot the ball so poorly last season, and you wondered all year if signing him at the expense of someone else was going to cost them a championship. Then halfway through the playoffs, thanks to Chris Bosh's injury, he started playing more, ripping every three in sight, making defensive stops, and generally making key plays all over. The Heat won the title, and he came back this year, and he's even better. He drilled two huge triples down the stretch tonight, and made 4-5 overall (he's over 42% on the season). He helped harass Grizzlies power forward Zach Randolph in to a 6-16 shooting night. Then in a tie game, with under 3 minutes to go, clearly inspired by repositioning of the laptop, he drove down the lane against Marc Gasol, pulled him away from the rim, looked to be in a bad position against the much larger Gasol, then suddenly wrapped a pass back around him to Chris Bosh, who flipped the ball into the basket as Randolph crashed into him for a 3 point play. Unbelievable - it might the first time I've seen him make an assist off the bounce since he's been on Miami. On the next possession, he slid down the lane and grabbed an offensive rebound against the bulkiest front line in basketball. Huge, huge plays. When Miami signed him, someone, I can't remember who, said, "he'll help them - he's an adult." And it's true, he's a confident, calming influence on the team. But he also gets such joy out of watching Dwyane and KJ run roughshod over people, and he spends as much time on the court smiling as anyone - they bring out the kid in him. Just imagine how good he would be if he hadn't been so poorly coached in college...
3) KJ struggled. For the first time in a long time, he struggled. Memphis is long, and committed defensively, and his first few shots didn't go in, and some free throws didn't go in, and he got indecisive. After he whiffed on a three pointer with three minutes to go - two feet over the rim - he was 3-13 from the floor. But with 30 seconds to go, Miami clinging to a 1 point lead, and Wade bouncing the ball up top, he tried to beat Tayshaun Prince backdoor to the rim for a lob. Wade didn't see it, so KJ ran back up top, received a pass from Wade, elevated, and drilled a three pointer to put the Heat up 4. After a timeout, Memphis ran an open set for super-quick guard Mike Conley to drive. But Coach Fun had smartly placed James on Conley for the last few minutes. Conley tried to beat James to the rim, didn't, and had to shoot his layup two feet over the basket, where Battioke grabbed the rebound. Ballgame. KJ struggled, but he made the biggest shot of the game, the biggest defensive play of the game, and scored Miami's last 8 points to finish with 18 points, 10 assists, and 8 rebounds. Yo, dude, we should all struggle in life like that.
4) These are the games the Heat signed Bird Anderson for, grind out wars. He's a little wild, but he can go in there and give a few minutes of aggressive physical presence in a way that no one else on their roster can. I thought he was good tonight, he had a dunk and a couple of free throws, a block, and 4 boards in 15 minutes. He also forced at least two Memphis fouls by going hard to the offensive glass and getting pushed. But whether or not he helped at all tonight, or for the rest of the season, he had already earned every cent that Mr. Arison paid him, and cemented his legacy, with his performance to kick off the Heat's Harlem Shake video. You've seen it already, but we are posting it here for posterity - it's a part of the season we will always remember. It's been parsed and dissected in every possible way, but one question still remains: did the Heat get inspired to make the video when Bird Anderson arrived on the team; or, did they already have the idea, and were just sitting on it, like, "hey, you know what we could do if we ever got Bird Anderson?"
5) You think the feud between Heat color commentator Tony Fiorentino and former hip hop star Lil Wayne is over? Wrong! It's not over until Tony Fiorentino says it's over! Yesterday, on the morning sports radio show "Hochman and Zaslow" (co-starring the sometimes-less-than-professional Heat pregame radio host Jonathan Zaslow), they asked Tony which South Florida sports team mascot was his favorite. Predictably he voted for Burnie from the Heat (don't ask, it's embarrassing), but then crowed, "you know what all the mascots have in common? They are all better looking than Lil Wayne!" Yeah, baby! No doubt!
Wow, this actually looks like it would be a pretty good fight!
6) So The Captain goes to me, "have you ever played the accordion?" And I'm like, "no, but I'm sure I could." And he's like, "why," and I'm like, "how hard could it be? You just push the buttons with your fingers, and mosh the whole thing back and forth. They have monkeys do it." And he goes, "chimpanzees," and I'm like, "what?" And he's like, "those aren't monkeys, those are chimpanzees." Monkeys and chimpanzees aren't the same thing? What the hell?
-----
Well, we're going for our franchise record tying 14th straight win Sunday against the New York Knicks. That's double torture. First, it's a one pm Sunday game, ruining a weekend day - the Sacramento Kings never have to play on Sunday afternoons for national tv. Damn. Hope the weather is crappy. Two, this is what the Knicks do, they ruin our stuff. They'd rather beat us, and lose every other game if they could. Great, I'm really looking forward to that one. If you need me before Sunday, I'll looking for street performers with accordian-playing animals of some kind. See you Sunday!
-----
