Clippers 95 Heat 89 ot

6 Thoughts

1) "Yo, yo, yo, LeBron, nahhh, yo -  when everyone said you need to be more aggressive at the ends of games and attack the rim, what they had meant to say was, 'Be more aggressive at the ends of games and attack the rim, and then, when they foul you, make the free throws!'  Our bad, our bad - should have made that clear!"  LeBron was 9-17 from the line, team was 20-34.  He was incredibly aggressive down the stretch, pounding the paint, and taking hard fouls - just didn't make the free throws.  For the second straight night, the game was lost because of poor free throw shooting.  Say whatever you want - fatigue from the road trip, and back to backs, and multiple overtime games - but whatever, junk happens in the NBA.  You make some free throws, you're 10-1.  You miss a bunch, you're 8-3.  What does it matter, in the end?  Not much; but at 1:45am for the second straight night, you'd rather just see the free throws made and win the game.

2) The best and worst thing about the NBA is how emotional the games are...for the fans!  Twitter was on the verge of spontaneously combusting as Miami missed all the free throws, and I'll get a gaggle of emails tomorrow to trade LeBron for Mike Beasley.  People get frustrated - emotionally frustrated - when their teams lose.  The players are generally able to get a better perspective on it.  Case in point: with 1:40 left in overtime in what was a close (but very poorly played) game, LeBron stood on the sidelines waiting for the refs to discuss some issue or other - there was a lot of "ref-discussing" tonight.  As he did, his former teammate Mo Williams, who claimed he almost had to retire because he was so distraught when LeBron left Cleveland (that is not a joke - he said it, multiple times), sidled over to him, and they shared a short conversation, both of them relaxed and laughing.  Fans lose their minds - players play, that's what they do, and they handle the ups and downs of a game, and a season, much more rationally...

3) Play of the game: No doubter, for sure, it was when Coach Spo completely lost his shit when the refs didn't call a foul the Heat tried to give with a few seconds left, down 3.  The game was pretty much over at that point, and no one actually did give a definitive foul; Spo was actually mad about a crucial no-goaltending call on DeAndre Jordan about a minute earlier.  That was a blown call - okay, it happens, especially on the road, and Spo knows that.  But the combination of the no-call, and the missed free throws two nights in a row was enough for Spo, and he charged out on the court and let it all out, getting ejected.  Can't remember Spo doing that before - it was funny.  Go get'em, Spo!!!  Runner-up: also an easy call.  It was when, two plays in a row, late in the game, the refs had to go to the monitor to check an out of bounds call, ESPN (also broadcasting the game) somehow didn't have good angles of the plays, and the refs came over to use Eric and Tony's Sunsports monitor.  And this was after the refs had to do the same thing earlier in the game.  Over the years, there is nothing in an NBA game - not a DWade dunk, not a UD drawn-charge, not winning a title - that makes Eric Reid as excited as getting personally involved in viewing a replay with the refs: "Right there, Wade clearly hits the ball off Jordan," Reid shouted at the refs as they watched the replay with him, "Heat ball!"  Eric is the most die hard of Heat fans - he'll take the two straight losses tough.  But getting to be involved in three replay calls will definitely take some of the sting out of the night for him.

4) From Snets, via email, regarding last night’s post in which he says we incorrectly characterized his comparison of Heat rookie point guard Norris Cole to one-handed-dribbling, small, white, eighty-year old former Celtic great Bob Cousy:

I never said Cole’s style of play was reminiscent of Bob Cousy – I said he ran with the ball like Bob Cousy – that weird straight up style – I demand a correction.

Oh, yes, I totally see the difference – that’s a lot clearer, I was way, wayyy off! Correction granted! Worth noting: not one of our other readers has ever even heard of Bob Cousy, who retired in like 1962.

5) So it looks like we have a few new readers after Jax repped the blog on tv last night. Just so those new readers know, we don’t usually write a running blog during games like we did last night. That was a one time-change-it-up for a late night, West Coast game. I hated it, so we won’t be doing that again. Usually what we do is offer six thoughts. The first two or three summarize the game, then we usually make fun of Chris Bosh in one, irrationally praise Mario “Emcee” Chalmer(s) in another, and, if we have time, check in on the loquacious Shane Battier’s latest activities. Down in thought # 6, we offer an album review, or answer questions from friends of the blog, or anything else on our mind –there are no rules down there. Just know that it will probably be stupid, and not that entertaining…So, a few long-time friends of the blog emailed to ask if Jax repping the blog was the greatest moment in blog history. Oh, no. It was nice, and I appreciate the love, but I am pretty used to being on tv, believe me. Growing up, MyMommaMinutos was the Executive Director of our small town’s local tv access channel, which beamed out to several hundred households throughout West Hartford, Connecticut . So I’ve been around “the biz” all my life. Still, it’s a great question. Obviously, the greatest moment in the history of this blog was when we reverse-jinxed the Heat into last year’s Finals by writing a blog during the fourth quarter of Game 5 against the Bulls, writing off that game as a loss before it ended, thus spurring the team to one of the most improbable comebacks in playoff history. Runner-up: when we reverse jinxed LeBron onto the team by saying “he is not welcome here.” Second runner-up: when we accused Jax of stealing a turkey during a Heat Thanksgiving charity event, and then he emailed us to say, essentially, “How dare you!” He took it in good spirit (I think). In retrospect, that was wrong. But, man, there was something about the way he was eyeing those turkeys in the halftime video highlights of the event…

 

6) Both O.Minutos (guitar) and P.Minutos (piano) are taking musical lessons. I was psyched when I returned home from a typically grueling, yet rewarding, day at Dos Minutos International Headquarters last week to discover that O.Minutos had learned the riff to AC/DCs “Back in Black,” which is super-easy to play, and also super-awesome. He is 9, so he has no idea who AC/DC is, but he likes the song, and the three of us can play it together, which is cool (not sure AC/DC utilizes a lot of live keyboards in their songs, but don’t tell P.Minutos that). I had the exact opposite reaction a couple of days ago when I walked in the door, saw P.Minutos tickling the ivories, and then heard the horrific lilting gruel that is Simon and Garfunkel’s “Scarborough Fair” droning insistently from his piano. Oh, my heavens! If I had known there was a chance that one of my kids was going to learn a Simon and Garfunkel song, I never would have let them begin instrument lessons. I wouldn’t have even told them about music in the first place! As I related this story to The Captain back at the safety of Dos M. Int’l HQ’s, he shook his head for the umpteenth time at my hatred for Simon and Garfunkel, in general, and that song, specifically. “Oh, yeah, it’s a real rocker,” I told him. “It’s not supposed to be, it’s a folk song. It’s not a rocker,” he insisted. No...no, it isn’t.   

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It is 2:28 am, that's a wrap.  Back Friday night for another late game - balls.  That's alright, get them all out of the way early.  If you need me before then, I'll be sleeping.  Zzzzzzz....
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Warriors 111 Heat 106 ot

6 Thoughts

1) Tonight's game starts at 10:30 pm.  Same thing with tomorrow night's game.  Since I don't want to be up until all hours of the night, I am going to ramble some stream of consciousness thoughts quarter by quarter, in #s 2-5.  Then, a very brief book review in # 6.  Meanwhile, to kick things off, here's what my dad looked like in the 70s.

2) First quarter: Dwyane Wade starting, out last few games with a sore foot.  Occurred to me while I was taking a shower this evening -- very, very few people have seen Dwyane Wade play as many NBA games as I have.  I bet you I have seen him play more NBA games than my dad, Pat Riley.  For sure.  Spo has probably seen him play more.  Total joy to watch him play so many games -- he's a great player, but he's also a super-entertaining player...Former announcer Mark Jackson coaching Golden State, Stephan Curry out, our old boy Dorell Wright starting at power forward.  Miss that kid, although he was a huge tease here.  Kwame Brown, the Boy Genius, at power forward...Alley-oooop, Wade sky-high to LeBron!!!  Damn!!! LeBron's 18th dunk of season, according to Eric!.. LeBron just got grabbed on a layup, no call, but he made it, Heat 8-2, GSW timeout.  LeBron so upset about non-call, Joel Anthony beat him to bench for timeout...Eric and Tony have spent a couple of off days in San Francisco - turns out that's where Golden State is.  They love that.  Due to lockout, NO TRIP TO SACRAMENTO THIS YEAR!!!...David Lee, GSW pf, is a fucking sieve -- he doesn't even pretend like he's playing defense -- just let LeBron straightline dribble from 20 feet to rim for a dunk...Emcee Chalmers just threw a lob into Dexter Pittman's armpit for a turnover, then next time down court airmailed a cross court pass to LBJ into the 8th row.  Ohh, Chalmers!  Heat not sharp, GSW 21-18...GSW 27-22 after one q.  Dwyane looks fairly bouncy.  Chalmers, Bosh, and UD terrible that quarter.  Not sure UD has made a jumper yet this season...Need to write less, already tired of this, and it's boring.

3)  Second quarter: Chris Bosh has missed 2 uncontested layups and 3 free throws in 13 minutes.  It's a "Bosh Spice" night  -- so far.  Kill'em, Chris!!!...Oh, no, one possession later: now he just bounced a jumper over the backboard!  Lord!...GSW coach Mark Jackson told media before game they would be playing some zone, and they have.  At least he told the truth, unlike Pacers coach Frank Vogel -- Tony likely still steaming about being lied to...Any time we get called for a defensive 3 second call, like just now, I want to punch the tv -- no team has ever played us straight up,we get zoned all game long.  We'd win every game by 30 if teams weren't allowed to sit down in the paint on us...Dwyane has 20 with 5 minutes to go in half, but Heat defense not sharp, look tired in middle game of 5 game road trip, down 3...Norris Cole has passed up two open shots this quarter -- that's two more than he has passed up the rest of the year, combined...We are getting killed on the offensive boards right now -- it's everybody, not just Chris.  This never happens in the playoffs, because Dwyane and LeBron rebound, but in the middle of a long road trip, in a meaningless game, they kind of leave it to the bigs, since it's their job, but right now they aren't doing it.  David Lee -- that's one thing.  But Kwame Brown shouldn't be getting offensive rebounds.  Boy Genius!  Heat 48-47, 2 mins to go...Miami playing Cole and Chalmers together last couple of minutes, looking a little more active defensively, pushing ball hard...M.Minutos is upset because I am taking the "s" off "Chalmers" while watching the game and calling him "Chalmer."  You've got to keep the people guessing - don't want anyone getting too comfortable, and especially not M.Minutos...Norris Cole flying all over the place right now, with decent results - my boy Snets recently compared his style of play to Bob Cousy.  Very timely reference from Snets, who is one of my favorite musicans since Benny Goodman...Heat 57-53 at half, did not play well defensively.  Dwyane with 20 in 14 minutes, and LeBron with 15 and 6 boards.  Norris with 6 and three dimes.  Bosh was awful...Just saw an ad for a movie that looks like Top Gun with black people, quickly dubbed "Black Gun" by M.Minutos...I hate writing during the game, I will not be using this style tomorrow night.  Back for the second half soon -- it's midnight!..-- JAX JUST NAME CHECKED DOS MINUTOS ON AIR LIVE!!!!!!!!!  HAAAAA!!!  I'M A HUGE SUNSPORTS TV STAR NOW, LIKE JAX!!!  That made me shake my head -- Jax lauded our coverage of "Hot Seconds With Jax," which, admittedly, is somewhat self-serving of Jax!!!  Bosh is playing now -- his favorite wedding gift: an Aston Martin from his wife!  Wow, she must have a good job!!!  Bosh was on Law and Order, needs to name all the franchises for 5 points, can't do it, CHALMER STILL LEADS WITH 7 POINTS!!!

4) Third Quarter: Jax just interviewed Assistant Coach Loc -- only thing better would have been if he just kept mentioning Dos Minutos "Coach Loc -- Dos Minutos is not happy with Chris Bosh's first half play.  What can Chris do to clean that up?"...ChalmerChalmer, tripped over Charles Jenkins' feet, but Jenkins fell, Chalmer kept going, eschewed pass to LeBron, finished.  Heat by 10...Eric and Tony talking about how they are twitter newbies, but that they are "getting better at it every day."  You type a sentence, you press send.  "Tony, let's get some more reps in."...Chalmer and Cole back in together again.  Off an inbounds, no one guarded Chalmer, he tossed it to LeBron, stepped on to the court, LeBron flipped it back to him, Chalmer made an uncontested 3.  Monta Ellis first Warrior to bench in far corner, kind of feel like Chalmer might have been his guy.  3 mins to go in 3q, Warriors no hoops yet (a few free throws), Dwyane with 26, Chalmer is 5-8 for 12, Miami +17...Someone just emailed me and pointed out I will not cover Jax objectively now that he repped the blog on tv.  Objectively?  I'm calling a guy named "Mario Chalmers," "Emcee Chalmer."  This isn't exactly the New York Times...Sloppy play by Miami to end q, a few heat check settles by LeBron after two long jumpers.  Heat + 12 after 3.

5) Bosh has now missed 3 uncontested layups and a dunk -- so terrible tonight, lead down to 10...Nate Robinson just threw a 90 mile entry pass off the backboard which led to a run out layup for Wade -- don't see that every day...Wade a couple of bad turnovers, GSW down only 8...Kwame just hurt his shoulder on UD -- fuuucckkk, another missed ft, by UD -- we've missed 12!  Heat +9, 6 mins left...Chris, somehow, just turned it over twice on the same possession! Layup for Ellis on other end, +5...Battier just stopped an iso on Ellis, but UD dropped a rolling ball out of bounds, GSW scores, +6...UD just missed an uncontested dunk -- he and Bosh have stunk the joint out -- but GSW with wild turnover on other end, Heat still +6, with ball with 3 to go -- I'd go LeBron post, but he doesn't like to do it late, so I'd go Wade/Bosh screen and roll, let Chris shoot 18 footer.  It's a guaranteed open shot, you live with the results from your best shooter...wild game, lots of crazy, high-speed turnovers!...We ran a screen for Chalmer, he missed a jumper, offensive foul on UD in ensuing scramble...LeBron passing up shot after shot -- he is in a coma -- threw the ball to UD, he got blocked, GSW with a runout hoop, UD got a t, GSW will shoot a ft to tie with 2 mins to go.  No one is guarding LeBron at top of key, he could shoot a wide open three whenever he wants last 5 possessions.  He passed them all up, then Nate Robinson just banged the exact same shot on the other end.  To me, if you're going to lose, lose being aggressive...On replay, Ellis absolutely hammered UD -- see why he was mad and got t...Steal by Battier, run out, 2 free throws for LBJ, 1 minute to go, makes only 1, we've missed 15 or 16...Battier causes another steal on Ellis, another runout, Wade will shoot 2.  Battier!!!  Wade makes both, +3...Warriors get off reb, Dorell with 3 to tie!...Awful step back by Wade while everyone watched him, GSW ball with 13 secs to go in tie game...Battier just shut down a third straight Ellis iso, didn't even get a shot off!  Battier!!!  Overtime.  What a terrible 4q by Miami, only 12points -- got too involved with refs, LeBron won't go to block, just standing on perimeter again, rotating ball. Sometimes, like against Boston and Chicago in playoffs, LeBron is aggressive and incendiary in big moments.  But sometimes he is so passive -- it's not one or the other consistently, that's why it is so weird...

5b) Overtime: Bosh with another posession where he turned it over twice (traveled, no call, then got stripped).  LBJ with a tentative layup, but Chalmer missed an open 3 -- even with 2 to go, GSW ball.  Building is  madhouse, it is, literally, the biggest game of GSW's season, since they won't be in the playoffs.  Miami looks exhausted...My heavens - Dorell 3, then LeBron threw the ball right to Nate Robinson, while looking right at him.  LeBron is in an absolute coma.  I'd get him out of there before he hurts himself.  GSW +3 with 1 minute to go, Miami ball.  What a lame loss, this game was over in the third q, and Miami went to sleep...Wade with a postup, he has 34, Warriors ball up 1 with 40 secs left.  It's 1:18am.  Please, win or lose, just no more overtimes...Ellis with a step back on Battier, tough shot, made it, 1 for 5 against Battier down stretch, but had the confidence to keep shooting...LeBron missed a triple, ballgame.  Weird game, bad loss, if ultimately meaningless.  Dwyane looked pretty bouncy on his foot, that is the most important thing.  On the whole, though, it was a group loss -- got way up, got lazy, missed free throws, UD and Bosh both horrific, and they got bitten.  It happens in the NBA, no matter who you are.  Best player of game for Miami was Battier: took one of the quickest players in the league down the stretch, stayed all over him, causing bad shot after bad shot - super impressive by Battier, who needs some kind of nickname...8-2 is 8-2 -- we'll take it...M.Minutos just blamed the loss on the fact that I changed up the format for the night.  You know what?  She's probably right!  I'll take the hit for this one fellas!!!  And gals!!!

6) Book review: The Art of Fielding, by Chad Harbach.  It's a friendship/coming-of-age book set at a small college for over privileged white kids in Ohio.  It's really, really good.  Written in a style similar to uber-popular author Jonathan Franzen, only the characters aren't reprehensible.  The characters in The Art of Fielding are earnest, sincere, and likable.  They all play on the college baseball team, but I wouldn't think you have to know much about baseball to enjoy it.  It is an easy, comfortable read, but not without depth.  I especially recommend it for Mike Miller - feels like a book he might enjoy.
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Back at it late night again tomorrow, in LA against the Clippers.  If you need me before then, I'll be watching that movie "Awakenings," where Robert DeNiro comes out of a coma briefly, realizes that Robin Williams is his doctor, then wills himself back into a coma  One of the all-time great movies.  Feel like LeBron might have been bummed out by Chris Bosh tonight, and willed himself back under.  See you tomorrow!
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Heat 101 Nets 90

6 Thoughts

1) Dwyane Wade: out.  Brooks Lopez: out.  In the words of the immortal philosopher Tim Hardaway, "Sides is even."  Let's go!

2) This game was over some time this afternoon when LeBron decided he could try to give it a go on a sore ankle.  He was clearly favoring it - he couldn't jump - but he went down to the block in the first quarter, scored an absurd 22 points on only 7 shots, while getting virtually every wing New Jersey had into foul trouble.  From there he clearly labored - scored only 10 more points, and had a gaggle of turnovers - but it was enough.  Game was pretty much over after a quarter - Nets never threatened.  You are skilled, LeBron.  I exhort you!

3) Nets power forward Kris Humphries (who played extremely hard, and was by far the best Net on the court) is, of course, better known for his starring role on "The Kim Kardashian Show," playing a professional basketball player who marries a reality sta- wait, what?  That was real life?  Wait - does that mean Spencer Kardashian is real, too?  Super-awesome!  Anyways, M.Minutos opined during the game tonight that he was the rare player that looks better in a basketball uniform than in street clothes (this is a long-standing M.Minutos theory: most players - most humans - don't look great in a tank top).  That qualifies as a compliment from M.Minutos, although I think her opinion probably has something to do with the fact that the only times she has ever seen Humphries in street clothes, it's on his tv show when he is getting over-physical and verbally aggressive with a 5'2" woman.  To be fair, she seems super-annoying.  Still, "no" means "no." 

4) Dwyane Wade spent LeBron's postgame on-court interview with Jax standing behind them, jokily holding LeBron's removed shoes in his hands as if he were a butler - really should have been Chris Bosh, The Maitre D's,  job.  Fans were clamoring for Dwyane to give them LeBron's sneaks - Dwyane thought it over - "Five dollars," he called out to them, laughing.  I mention this only to remind people of last year's epic R.Minutos story in this very blog in which he tried to impress an attractive young woman by claiming he had stolen Jean Claude Van Damme's shoe during a strip club brawl, which, somehow, R.Minutos won, despite the fact that JCVD is a martial arts master, although probably only 5'3".  All of which is to say: Where is R.Minutos?  We need more stories!  Don't make me write this blog all by myself!

5) "Hot Seconds With Jax," the Heat's halftime answer to Jeopardy, is back, baby!  Tonight's contestant: Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, the 2009-10 champion!  One thing we've all noticed about Emcee Chalmers over the years is that he isn't the most aware of basketball players.  He often seems to be unaware of score and time; he seems to be unaware of the foul situation; it often appears that he doesn't know the offensive plays, or the proper defensive rotations...But one thing he does know - in fact, he is the only player in the history of "Hot Seconds With Jax" to know - is every single rule involved in "Hot Seconds With Jax!"  And there are wayyy more than you would imagine, if you've never seen it.  I still can't follow them all.  No player in the history of "Hot Seconds With Jax" has ever been aware that you can call a timeout and/or replace a question you don't know the answer to.  Sometimes Jax will tell a guy to do it, but no player ever knows to do it on his own.  Except Emcee Chalmers, who promptly called a timeout on the three point question, thought about the answer, realized he didn't know it, and then asked to have the question replaced.  That is what makes him a champion!  Unfortunately, he couldn't answer the replacement question either, almost incredibly: "Name one of the new American Idol judges from last year?"  I have never, ever seen even one minute of that show, and I knew both.  You can't tell me Emcee Chalmers doesn't watch hours and hours of television - of course he does, he's Emcee Chalmers.  How could he not have seen a commercial for American Idol at some point?  I mean, Steven Tyler, I'm sure he doesn't know who he is, Emcee doesn't strike me as a big Aerosmith guy, but you're black, Emcee, your people love giant butts!  HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW J.LO???  He posted a solid 7, but that miss is going to kill him.  Just like last year, I'm going with Juwan Howard, only because I think he will try.  M.Minutos is going with Eddy Curry, who does seem like 200 percent brighter and more personable than I would ever imagine. 

6) Had a big argument with The Captain at Dos Minutos International Headquarters late this week when he incorrectly felt that #34 on the Connell High Eagles was over-aggressive on his fouls in the video shown exclusively in this blog last week, and also on Yahoo and Youtube.  I couldn't disagree more - in my opinion, for #34 to be successful at the next level, he has to be able to lay the wood to people.  "Where that?" The Captain asked, "Prison?"
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We're off until Tuesday night in Golden State - think that is in California, and it might be the dumbest 'location' name of any team, except for 'Detroit.'  Until then, if you need me- you know what?  I'm thinking of making my own sex tape with M.Minutos, and "accidentally" leaking it to the internet, just like Kim Kardashian and Ray J.  Ray J!  RAY J!  HAAAAAA!!!!!!  RAYYY JAYYY!!!  See you Tuesday!!!
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Heat 116 Hawks 109 3ot

6 Thoughts

1) Here is one thing that could never, ever happen: if Dwyane Wade (respendent in a blue checked shirt and khaki-colored suit) and LeBron James both had to miss a game; Chris Bosh played absolutely terribly down the the stretch; and Mario Chalmers decided he would just try to win a game by himself, shooting threes and going one-on-one off the dribble, all against a good team -- that would never, ever work. Not in a hundred million years, not in thousands of millenniums of galaxies beginning and ending...Never. That would never, ever, ever work. It just worked. LET'S GO AND LET'S GO AND GET IT, EMCEE CHALMERS STEPPING UP BIG IN TRIPLE-DIPPLE OVERTIME AND WINNING A UNWINNABLE GAME ON THE ROAD IN ATLANTA!!! WE ON FIYA, WE UP IN HERE!!! DO IT FOR THE FAM, EMCEE, DO! IT! FOR! THE! FAM!

2) Does that count as winning the championship? Can it at least count as one game in The Finals? No? It's just a regular win? Damn...

3) Listen, Atlanta Hawks, I don't even know what to tell you. That was maybe the least inspired basketball, considering the circumstances, I have ever seen an NBA team play. No Wade, no LeBron, Bosh reverting to his Becky Lobo impression down the stretch, and the Hawks shot 46 free throws to Miami's 23 -- and you lost. Undrafted Heat rookie Terrel Harris played forty-four minutes, and fifty year old Shane Battier played forty-nine. At the end of the second overtime, tied, when Hawks star Joe Johnson ran the clock down, tried to take Battier off the dribble to the rim to win the game, got his shoulder in front, and somehow the landlocked Battier recovered, reached out, and blocked his layup, the Hawks may have reached some kind of mystic nadir of pitiful athletic performance. I mean -- that was really something, Atlanta Hawks. That was really something.

4) It is entirely possible that Heat coach Erik Spoelstra does not know you are allowed to substitute in overtime. He was leaving that group of Emcee, Terrel Harris, Battier, UD, and Bosh out there no matter how tired they got. it was some kind of bizarre reverse jinx: the more tired that group of kids got, the worse the Hawks played. Reminded me and M.Minutos of a game years ago, during a bad season when Pat Riley suddenly decided he "needed surgery" halfway through a brutal losing streak, and flew to, like, Tahiti, on an extended vacation. Assistant Ron Rothstein took over, and on one fateful night, in a game we got way down, only to have a group of substitutes claw their way back into the game, then the game went into overtime, Rothstein never made even one substitution, and the Heat lost because that group got so exhausted that they couldn't move, all because Rothstein claimed, after the game, "that lineup deserved to have a chance to win it or lose it."  Guess what, John Wooden? They lost it! I have never, ever forgiven him -- to this day, the sight of him on the Heat sideline (he is still an assistant) almost makes me want to lose, just to prove that he is still killing us. I would never feel that way about Spo - he's Fam - but, still, a substitution or two tonight might have been a good idea. But he won the game, so I guess he knows best.

5) Quite a heroic effort, on the whole. Oh, not by the players - sure, I mean, by the players also, they were great. But I really meant by the television audience, who had to endure a national TNT crew with "special" guest color commentator Charles Barkley. And, yes, by "special," I do mean "retarded." I just realize how grouchy I sound tonight, and, honestly, it's all because of him -- he's such a blowhard, he ruins the game. I know he's a bright guy, and he seems reasonably likable (if you didn't have to watch him on television). And I know I should just turn off the sound. To have to sit there and have him spout nonsense for an entire game, and three overtimes, is cruel. He championed Hawks reserve forward Ivan Johnson's every move, I guess, because it was so edgy to do so -- the guy clearly sucks. He had a couple of nice moments, I was happy for him, but he also committed five brainless turnovers and six fouls in only 21 minutes, and single-handedly kept Miami in the game during the first two overtimes. We are all watching the guy play sucky - to sit there and say he is playing great is- I don't what it is. Is it some kind of shot at the white television audience, mocking us because we are mindless sheep? Is it some kind of meta mindfuck to try to will the guy to beat Miami, because Dwyane and LeBron despise Barkley? It's so stupid, it's like Bill-Simmons-I-can-see-the-fear-in-his-eyes level stupid. And, by the way, it was probably the smartest thing Barkley said all night. To the degree it matters, which is not at all, he just went out there and made America stupider for four hours. And believe me, we don't need the help!

6) I think Dos Minutos has a new favorite high school basketball team, and it's the Connell High Eagles!  Each of these six flagrant fouls is great - everyone will have a different favorite - but if you only have time to watch one, skip ahead to 2:53 for flagrant foul # 5.  I am not saying that #34's clothesline of the driving guard isn't a wee bit excessive; I'm just saying that the (probably justifiably) concerned parent who filmed these, and felt compelled to slow-mo replay each one about twelve times, never mentions the borderline illegal screen by #10 in maroon on the drive.  I think #34 on white committed 4 of these 6 fouls - you can't tell me this kid couldn't step in and give the New York Knicks a solid 18-20 minutes up front right now...



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Next game, I believe, is Saturday, and I believe it against the Nets.  If you need me before then?  Kuh-duh -- I'll be outside in my #34 Connell High Eagles jersey, laying the fucking wood on some of the smaller neighborhood kids!  GOODNIGHT, AND ESPECIALLY GOODNIGHT TO YOU, EMCEE CHALMERS!  I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ELSE DID!

Heat 118 Pacers 83

6 Thoughts

1) LeBron James dominated this basketball game in just about as many ways as you can possibly dominate a basketball game.  First of all, no one ever really talks about it, but he is one of the best handful of defensive players in the league.  Tonight he took the Pacers best player, Danny Granger, and destroyed him: 2 of 13 for 6 points for Granger.  That's normal for LeBron.  But new?  With Dwyane Wade out nursing a bad foot, he went to the post possession after possession (the post!), and completely controlled that end of the floor as well.  When the Pacers left him single covered, he wheeled to the basket and scored: 12-21 and 11-13 free throws for 33 points.  When the Pacers doubled, he found open cutters (Bosh 7-11 for 22), or shooters (James Jones 4-8 triples for 14), and accumulated 13 assists.  He rebounded in traffic - 8 total.   The second quarter, which Miami won 33-12, was essentially a LeBron James postup clinic, as he created offense from the block time and again, culminating in a spinning baseline power move and finish over a helping 7'2" Roy Hibbert, which resulted in an "and 1," and topped off by LeBron getting to his seat on the bench for the ensuing timeout before the referee had even finished blowing his whistle.  Even after LeBron rolled his ankle on a late third quarter runout, he stayed in the game to end the quarter with a pullup 20 footer at the buzzer.  His game was really impressive to watch -- from a pure basketball standpoint, it doesn't get much better than that. Only problem?  Ankle sprain looked pretty bad -- Norris Cole actually beat him to the bench to sit down for a timeout, which never happens, and Heat play in Atlanta tomorrow night -- could be without Wade and LeBron.  Don't think we have played a game yet with only Bosh in the Big Three era.  Should be interesting.  And by "interesting," I mean it will probably be the most excruciating basketball game any Heat fan has ever had to endure.

2) Dwyane Wade, out: sore foot.  In: three piece gray suit, dark tie, and paisley pocket square.  Mickell Gladness and Mike Miller, flanking DWade in gray suits of their own, couldn't  compete.  That's the best Heat sideline outfit of the year, so far.

3) This is how you become a really good team: Miami led by 23 at halftime, thanks to a 1-15 second quarter shooting "performance" by Indiana.  On the first possession of the second half, Indiana threw the ball into their center, Roy Hibbert, on the right block.  Hibbert is a pretty skilled offensive player -- on this occasion, Miami decided to double team him on the catch.  Mario Chalmers ran down off his man, and Hibbert pitched it right back out over him to an open shooter.  However, a hustling LeBron James got into the shooter's airspace quickly, and the ball was passed to the area LeBron had just vacated, to his man, Danny Granger.  This is perfect offensive basketball, this is why you throw the ball to the post, to try to score, or, if the other team elects to double, to crisply move the ball for an open shot.  Granger should have had an open three - but a hustling and correctly positioned Chris Bosh closed out rapidly on Granger, forcing him to put the ball on the floor.  Bosh, though, had closed out under control, so he was able to track Granger on his drive.  Two other Heat players collapsed on Granger, the ball was swatted away, and Miami hustled down on early offense.  LeBron backed his man down, and kicked it to Bosh,who drilled an open 12 footer.  Up 23, you don't need to play a defensive possession that hard and that perfectly -- but good teams develop good habits.

4) The Pacers have a good team -- they caught a full-on MVP performance from LeBron tonight, but they are going to win a lot of games, make the playoffs, and be a tough out for somebody.  Also, they will probably lead the league in lying.  Heat play-by-player, the ageless and indefatigable Eric Reid, and his partner, the immaculately groomed Tony Fiorentino, revealed during the the first quarter that Pacers head coach Frank Vogel had vowed to them that the Pacers would not play any zone in the game, a defensive look which can give the Heat problems at times.  Vogel told Reid that he doesn't think you have enough time to practice a zone this season, and that any time you spent on it would only detract from your efforts to perfect your man-to-man look.  Lo and behold, that lasted all of about 8 minutes, when the Pacers, having trouble with LeBron and the Heat early, shifted to a zone that they clearly had practiced, and were prepared to play.  Miami handled it fine -- their troubles against the zone are mostly hype.  A good man-to-man defense employs many zone principles anyways.  But you know who didn't handle it fine?  Eric and Tony, who sounded extremely aggravated that Frank Vogel had lied to them!  Eric and Tony are nothing if not principled!  They got their revenge late in the game, with Miami up 35, when Tony snarked gleefully to Eric, "This game seems like it is taking a long time to us -- can you imagine how long it feels to Frank Vogel?"  Eric and Tony, 1 - Frank Vogel, 0.

5) I am pretty sure that James Jones can not bend his knees.  When you add Shane Battier to the wing rotation with him, that is over thirteen feet of non-bending-knee wings.  I've yet to see the NBA team that can match up with that.

6) Spent most of today in Orlando, at a national conference of history scholars -- I presented my research for a history thesis I am writing for a Master's Degree, and then had lunch across the street in Downtown Disney.  Yes, it is a hobby -- yes, I am a total nerd.  You know who aren't nerds, though?  All those superhot babes at the national conference of history scholars!  I'm up in here, I'm on fiya!  High point of day: my thesis research went over well.  People felt it was well done, important, and that I clearly have a future as a scholar of history if I choose to go that route.  Low point of day: when the chairman of my panel, a highly respected historian in my field of research, asked a simple question about my conclusion, I took it the wrong way, and told him to go to hell...Lowest point of day: did you read what I just wrote?  I was in Orlando - what could possibly be worse than that?!!!   Not only that, but I was in Downtown Disney!  "Hey, this city isn't dumb enough already; let's build an even dumber fake city inside of it!"
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Next game: tomorrow vs Atlanta.  Let's hope that at least either Dwyane or LeBron can play -- otherwise, we suddenly become the Toronto Raptors.  If you need me before then, I'll be telling my kids we are going to have ice cream for dessert, then serving them cut up chunks of peaches in cottage cheese.  Bon appetit!
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Hawks 100 Heat 92

6 Thoughts

1)  Look, I'll take the hit for this one.  First, I skipped yesterday's game because I wanted to go on vacation to St. Augustine with my family.  That's selfish on my part - Dwyane and UD wouldn't do that, and neither should I.  Even more damaging, on the drive home this afternoon, I was thinking about the 5-0 start and I had the distinct thought: "What if we never lose a game all season?  What if we just win 66 in a row?"  Oops. 

2) Had to lose some time - might as well be to the Hawks.  They know how to play Miami better than anyone since they are in the Heat's division, and have had the same basic cast of characters -- Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, and Al Horford -- since approximately 1986.  We all know what will happen in their season.  They will finish as the 5th seed, either win or lose their first round playoff series by a game, then, if they survive, get destroyed by Miami or Chicago in the second round.  Why do we know this?  Because this has been every season for the Hawks since 1986!  I thought I just told you!  Al Horford!  AL HORFORD!!!

3) The Hawks, to their credit, were able to slow this game to a crawl.  This benefits them: they have good isolation players, they can get on the offensive boards, and also, they aren't ever going to try to run back on defense, so if the game does speed up, they are going to lose.  The downside of this style, besides the Heat losing?  The game seemed like it took about six hours to play.  I wish I had never stopped at my house after driving back from St. Augustine, I could have kept driving, down through Fort Lauderdale, past Miami, through all the Keys, and then right on into the ocean and drowned.  That would have been more exciting.

4) Worst play: probably when we were down like 6 with a couple of minutes to go and Dwyane Wade, who was an exhausted-looking 4-17 in the game, tried to iso on the wing, crossed over on his defender but dribbled it off the defender's foot, and the Hawks went down in transition and banged a three to effectively end the game.  However, for sheer and utter ineptitude, it was when Mario Chalmers got beat off the dribble by Jeff Teague for a layup, took the ball out the net, and fired an aggravated inbounds pass up the court to LeBron on the sidelines, leading him as if LeBron were walking upcourt, except LeBron wasn't walking upcourt, he was just standing there, and the ball hit the scorer's table on the fly.  Ughh.  Emcee had five -- 5 -- turnovers, and they were all of the terrible, unforced variety.  Even the one alley-oop he successfully threw to LeBron was horrible - he threw it too low, under the basket, and LeBron had to catch it and rip it back up over his head to flush it.

5) People like to talk about who the best player is.  Yes, Kevin Durant seems like a nice person, and scores a ton of points.  Yes, Dwyane Wade is the flashiest and the most marketable.  Yes, Dwight Howard is the only dominating big man in the game.  Yes, Dirk Nowitzki just won the title.  They are all great players.  And, yes, LeBron did not play well the last week of the Finals -- I'll concede that, he was too passive.  But game in, and game out, even on a night like tonight, even when the whole team looks exhausted, even when he seems slightly off his game, he still plays well.  Tonight: 11-18 for 28 points, 7 rebounds, and 6 assists, and as always, was rock solid defensively.  If you watched the game, you'd be like, "Ehh, he wasn't great."  But those numbers are great.  He has bad games, relative to his other games - not really compared to other players' games.  Dwyane's highs are higher, for one, but LeBron almost never, ever plays a bad game.  We all judge him on a sliding scale against himself, and that's fine -- but to imply any other player in the league is as good night in and night out is inaccurate.  I mean, if you want to claim that someone else is the best player, fine, go ahead, do it.  Just know ahead of time that it's dumb.

6) Best parts of my trip to St. Augustine: the fried oyster sandwich I ate at this hole in the wall country-ish restaurant in the woods in Palm Coast last night -- rednecks know how to fry stuff; when I tried to convince my 19 year old cousin that Darko Milicic's career hasn't been as good as Dwyane Wade or Carmelo Anthony's so far, but that he has to let it play out before deciding if Joe Dumars made the correct decision in selecting Darko over those two guys; when I pretended to fall asleep at the pool, and my family abandoned me there because they are cold-hearted; when I had to suppress the urge to shove P.Minutos off the bed last night because he kept kicking me after he crawled in with me -- I was this close; New Year's Eve at a miniature Cityplace in Palm Coast, only if 90 percent of the shops in Cityplace were vacant, and if Cityplace hired a DJ to blast loud music at, like, the fifty people actually eating dinner there; and, of course, the old forts and buildings in St. Augustine which, if you block out the schlocky tourist-y parts, is one of the cooler towns we have in America.
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Good week of games coming up: the up-and-coming Indiana Pacers come to town Wednesday, and Miami takes a trip to Atlanta Thursday for a re-match.  If you need me before then, I'll be heading out to Okeechobee County for fried foods with the rednecks!  Happy 2012 everybody!
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Heat 129 Bobcats 90

I did not see this game - I was on vacation in St. Augustine.  So for this game, and any future ones I miss, I am turning the blog over to my boy Snets.  He has to endure my insane ramblings all season long - stuff too crazy to even get in the blog - so I figured it was fair for him to have his say.  So without no further ado, here is Snets on last night's blowout:

 

• For those of you tuning in expecting to read Dos Minutos,  they were called out of town and Snets (me) will be guest blogging.  For starters, tonight’s blog will be re-named Deux Minutes as I am from Canada – so ALLONS-Y!
• Ok – first half over – what kind of Bizarro alternate universe game is this when Joel (a proud Canadian) Anthony outscores the best basketball player in the world 8 to 4 and we still won the half by almost 30 points?
• Very interesting first half duel between Mario Chalmers and super rook Norris Cole over who can claim point guard supremacy.  Chalmers hits for 11 including 3 from long range and was heard muttering under his breath – "take that rookie bitch" – but then Cole comes out and scores 8, but from where I’m sitting, looks much more polished and in control.  I think if you ask the wings, who they would rather be on a break with – they are all going to say Coles.  He makes better decisions in only his 5^th game, throws a pretty lob (I mean let’s face it, Chalmers lobs are adventures in geometry).
• I have the platform, so I am going to use it.  Jax – I actually love the guy, he seems like a genuinely affable fellow, someone you’d love to live next door to or someone you love to bump into when you’re at your local pub.  Ok here’s the "but" – why does he have to keep talking so long when the play resumes?  The guy will use up two or three possession sometimes.  He has insightful comments but Jeez Jax STFU already when the game is on. 
• Chris Bosh has been a world beater in the first half.  20 and 6,  I guess that’s why you have a Big 3 – when one of them gets engaged and doesn’t score, you have another one that had the good sense to get married in the off season.   Guy looks good.
• Only other thing I would talk about in the first half, is we do seem to have trouble with offensive rebounds.  I mean some guy called Bizmark Bazooka or something like that got 3 in one sequence against us.  It’s hard to figure your team is lacking when it is 4 – 0 and leading by 30 though. I have to admit to being really interested in whether Curry will make a meaningful contribution, if and when.
• Ron Rothstein just said “we haven’t played well with leads and we have to develop championship habits”.  2^nd half coming up – Allons-y! (google it)
• Game over, we won by 39 and were up by 46 at one point.  The most interesting part of the 2^nd half was when I got sent to the dog house because I left the bedroom door open, my girlfriend is allergic to our cat and it made a bed in her opened suitcase full of her cruise clothes,  while I sweated over this blog (how does he do it every game?)
• Back to basketball – the great PGS continutes.  Mario and Coles both scored 16, except Mario played with the starters and 8 extra minutes.  Mario had 3 assists and Coles had 9.  Edge to the rook.  You gotta figure Mario lies awake at night wondering when Wade is going to demand this kidstarts.                                                                                                                                                                   
• Not a whole more to report on the 2^nd half – there was no drama.  I hate it when the starters look so disinterested and start mugging for the cameras and going for Sports Center minutes instead of being professionals but our lads kicked butt and I suppose that’s all that matters.  Garbage time was a lot of fun to watch actually. Sexy Dexy made a lumbering appearance.  Harris scored 9 in short minutes and looked good at it – Coles was firing passes right where they should go.  If he was playing with the starters, I’m sure he would have had Chris Paul assist numbers.  Hey the future’s so bright – he has to wear shades!

• Well, that’s all I have to say, not very long but there wasn’t a lot to write about this blow out.  Just a note: I will be desperately trying to find Dos to hand the notebook back.  This is a lot harder than it looks.  ALLONS-Y!

Dos says: Thanks, Snets!  I'd like to think Emcee Chalmers would never use a certain word to describe a certain rookie, but he does take a lot of abuse and is entitled to feel feisty.  Also, Snets has been waiting like four years to get a platform to complain that Jax takes too long to throw it back to the game when he does an interview that spills over into play!  I'm going to watch Heat-Hawks right now, as I know Snets is.  Try to keep the bedroom door closed, and Allons-y!