6 Thoughts
1) First half from Portland: Dwyane Wade and KJ James, 16-23 for 41 points; entire Portland Trailblazer team, 42 points; rest of Heat team, 19 points. Heat by 18 at half. Ballgame. Nine wins in a row, all by double digits. It's late. Let's go.
2) Wade finished the first half with 22, and had 33 for the game, with 10 assists. KJ scored 38 points on only 22 shots, and also had 11 rebounds, 6 assists, 5 steals and a block. What? Only one block? Oh - it was a screaming chase-down tomahawk which ricocheted off the backboard at 60 miles per hour? Okay, that's fine. And, once again, the first half, especially, was like a track meet, only if at the end of every sprint in the track meet, someone jumped up and dunked a basketball with extreme force. At one point, Wade and James had so many transition dunks that when Wade scrambled down a loose ball at midcourt and started to steam upcourt again, referee Bill Kennedy tried to take a foul to slow him down. Wade eluded Kennedy, pushed down the right side of the court, and as a Blazer hustled over to try to cut him off, suddenly threw a blind right-handed hook pass back up over his left shoulder which a freight-training KJ James located on the dead run, elevated, and in one motion with his right hand caught-and-windmill-slammed the ball through the basket. President Barack Obama (unfortunately a Bulls fan, but not a Derrick Rose fan because he doesn't like humorless egomaniacs) said it best this week when asked about the Heat: "When those folks get going on a fastbreak, it's over." Yes, yes it is...
3) Chris Bosh: out, death in the family. Udonis Haslem: in, 11 points and 14 rebounds in only 27 minutes.
4) So Dwyane Wade has this Eurostep move, right? Basically, when you are driving to the basket, you take one hard, veering step in one direction, get the defender to shift his weight that way, and then a sharp step back across him the other way, all the while pushing up closer to the basket. Obviously, named after European dudes - it's a popular move over there, although they tend to combine it with not dribbling for 6 steps before scoring. Wade's great at it, he can almost always get around his defender for a layup, or at least draw a foul. Tonight, late in the second quarter, he drove down the right side of the lane, and took a hard right step on Blazer forward Nicolas Batum, before swiftly coming back left to try to Eurostep to the rim. It was great, except Batum, maybe for the first time in NBA history, anticipated the Eurostep and beat Wade to the spot in the lane. And guess what? Nicolas Batum is European! He's French! He saw this move coming before you even woke up this morning, Dwyane Wade! Luckily, caught in a awkward position, Wade managed to leap into the air, somehow lean back right, and flip in a nine foot bank shot around Batum for his 21st and 22nd points of the half. American ingenuity triumphs again! And the Dow is above 13,000! And we killed Bin Laden! When Barack Obama gets going, it's over! We're back, baby!
5) Bald Watch: KJ James. M. Minutos claims the NBA-approved headbands are wider this year, solely to help KJ cover up his receding hairline. As we noted in the offseason, KJ made a big step by acknowledging his problem, but has repeatedly vowed not to cut it all off. That's fine, that's a personal choice. He's going bald in that receding-at-the-temples-but-only-a-little-bit-on-top kind of way, like a black Christian Slater. But you know who is going all-the-way-bald, like Woody-Harrelson-it's-thinning-out-everywhere-and-if-he-was-white-he'd-be-combing-it-over? Kevin Durant. Durant's getting shiny everywhere, up top, in the front - everywhere. I make this prediction: barring one of the two going to seek "assistance," a la Carlos Boozer or Deron Williams, Kevin Durant shaves his head long before KJ ever does. Note to KJ and KD: look at Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams' hair. Is that what you want? Hold on as long as you can, then shave it off...
6) This story is totally true: GFOB (Great Friend of the Blog) Plumber lives in New York. A couple of weekends ago, he went into the city to have dinner and see a Davy Jones concert. Yes, that Davy Jones, from The Monkees. And, no, Plumber is not seventy years old, and, no, I don't think he intensely detests music. He's just not a huge music fan, and when he does listen, he likes to keep it old, old school. He also loves Roy Orbison, and the Louvin Brothers. And, anyways, so he went to a Davy Jones concert - big deal, it's New York City, what the hell else was he going to do that night? It's not like he had a lot of options. Anyways, as you probably know, Davy Jones passed away this week (not too far from Dos Minutos International Headquarters, incidentally). Sad day. M.Minutos immediately wondered if Plumber was in any way responsible for his demise, but Plumber pointed out that he probably died from over-excitement from playing old Monkees songs. Still, he took precautionary action: "I just cancelled my tickets to see Huey Lewis next month -- just in case."
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Back tomorrow night for a game in Utah. Hide the kids, we're going to Utah! No - just the black kids! If you need me before then, I'll be at The Hair Club for Men, telling my doctor, "See this picture of Carlos Boozer? This is what we don't want!" See you then...
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Thursday, March 1, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Heat 102 Knicks 88
6 Thoughts
1) Jeremy Lin's first game against the Miami Heat, first time rolling with the big boys, playoff atmosphere, bodies flying everywhere, national game on TNT (which gave him more air-time than any player in any game, in any sport, anywhere, ever)...annnnd, he was absolutely terrible! Kind of a letdown, all things considered. Only 8 points on 1 for double-chopsticks from the field, 3 assists, and 8 turnovers. Got picked clean by Mario Chalmers in the first quarter for a breakaway dunk (Emcee Chalmers can dunk!), and got picked clean by Norris Cole for a breakaway dunk in the second quarter (after which Norris slipped off the rim, falling nine feet on to his hip - ouch!). He also made a bizarre bush league play at the end of the game: KJ James grabbed a rebound with 5 seconds to go, with the Heat up 14, and stood there under the basket with the ball to let the clock run out. Lin suddenly stripped the ball from KJ, and tried to lay it in the basket, although he dorked the layup. That may fly in Asian American basketball culture, but not in the NBA - c'mon, kid! All in all, he'll have better nights, and I like him...TNT was truly out of control with it, though: several times they missed plays on the court while showing viewers shots of Jeremy Lin sitting on the bench. AND BY THE WAY, HE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ALL-TIME GREAT POINT GUARD MIKE BIBBY! LIN WAS 1-11, and HIS BACKUP, THE ROTUND BARON DAVIS, WAS 0-7! HEY, NEW YORK KNICKS, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PLAYING THE BEST POINT GUARD ON YOUR ROSTER: MIKE BIBBY?
2) Sometimes you play well, and everything flows, and sometimes you win just by playing hard. Tonight was the latter for Miami. They won this game with defense. KJ James was everywhere on the defensive end: he had 8 defensive boards (9 overall), 5 steals, and 2 blocks. He (along with Shane Battier) harassed Knick forward Carmelo Anthony into a 7-20 shooting night. He showed on screens, and recovered to the paint; he closed out on shooters from side-to-side. He, more than anyone, made it difficult for the Knicks to run their offense fluidly: just the threat of him shooting the passing lane made the Knicks hesitant with their passing - they shot only 39% from the floor, and committed 19 turnovers.
3) Also fabulous defensively: Joel "Butter" Anthony. If KJ James was the player most responsible for the overall struggle of the Knick offense, Joel was most directly responsible for Jeremy Lin's struggle. The Knicks ran high pick and roll after high pick and roll, and Joel put on a clinic defending it: kept showing hard, slowing or stopping Lin, then recovered back into the lane to stop any action at the rim. It really is the one NBA-level skill he has, and he is very good at it (and it is a valuable commodity). His 5 blocks tonight were a bonus, and he triggered the biggest sequence of the game: with 3 minutes to go in the third quarter, he slid over on a Lin drive and blocked his floater, caught it out of midair (!), and threw an outlet pass for a transition Shane Battier triple to push the lead to 13, then when the Knicks pushed the ball back hard after the make, slid back to the exact same spot on the court and drew a charge on Carmelo Anthony. The Knicks never threatened after that: ballgame. Warden.
4) As for offense, Dwyane missed a bunch of early layups, ending his first half dominance, although he did put Miami ahead for good with a third quarter spurt. We should mention: the Knicks played very hard, and well, defensively - Miami scored a lot of points in transition. If the Knicks defend like this every game, they are going to be good. Dwyane finished with 22, but only 10-22 from the floor. KJ had 20, on 7-16, and Battier made 2 big triples. But, down the stretch, it was Chris Bosh who carried the offensive load, nailing jumper after jumper, and mixing in one drive-okey-doke-and-finish on Tyson Chandler. Which brings up a painful memory. There are many, many things that Chris Bosh does not do well on a basketball court. They are all infuriating, and we won't list them again here. But one thing he does exceptionally well is shoot elbow jumpers. Knicks center Tyson Chandler is, to his credit, a one-man illegal defense. He is never, ever going to stray out of the painted area on defense for more than a moment at a time. Last year, while playing on Dallas in the Finals, he singlehandedly jammed up dozens of late game Miami possessions by standing in the lane to deter Wade and KJ drives. That is smart and great basketball, I am not criticizing him at all - he could play for me any day. But, I still believe that if instead of Dwyane and KJ trying to beat that type of defense by driving into it, or shooting over the top, they simply put Chandler in pick-and-roll after pick-and-roll (since he is always guarding Bosh at the end of games), let him jam down into the paint to stop the drive, and flip the ball back to Chris at the elbow and let him shoot the 18 footer, they win that series, easy. They lost three games in which they had comfortable leads coming down the stretch because they couldn't generate good shots, and no NBA ref is going to call illegal defense in the last five minutes of any game, let alone a playoff game, no matter how blatant it is (and they shouldn't - you have to figure out how to beat it). But Bosh is always going to make at least 4 or 5 out of 10 of those jumpers. That would have been more than enough in the end of those games - why make it more difficult than it needs to be? Tonight, they pitched it to him when Chandler planted himself in the lane - 25 for Chris on 11-17, and Miami held its lead easily the entire fourth quarter. I feel vindicated; yet, somehow, still very bitter!
5) Time for the all-star break! We're more than halfway done with the 66 game schedule, and Miami is 27-7 (and 15-2 at home). That's pretty good. Let's give some all-star break grades. Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem and me: A+. It's my blog, the three of us are always getting A pluses. KJ James: A. He's been absolutely fantastic, the best player in the league. Everyone else: A-, except for Chris Bosh, who gets a C-, but only because he played well tonight; otherwise he was getting a D. The end.
6) "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam > Jeremy Lin > every other Jeremy on earth > Jeremy Piven.
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What a great first half! Everyone is worried about other stuff besides us, for once, and our games are really so much fun to watch, absolute dunk-fests. The players seem like they are having so much fun, and that rubs off on the fans. Won't matter if they don't get it done in the playoffs, but for now, it's terrific: thank you, boys! Can't wait for this break, no blog for a whole week, I think we are back next Thursday, and I don't even know who we play! Or care! If you need me before then, I will be absolutely not be watching basketball - and loving it! See you in a week!
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1) Jeremy Lin's first game against the Miami Heat, first time rolling with the big boys, playoff atmosphere, bodies flying everywhere, national game on TNT (which gave him more air-time than any player in any game, in any sport, anywhere, ever)...annnnd, he was absolutely terrible! Kind of a letdown, all things considered. Only 8 points on 1 for double-chopsticks from the field, 3 assists, and 8 turnovers. Got picked clean by Mario Chalmers in the first quarter for a breakaway dunk (Emcee Chalmers can dunk!), and got picked clean by Norris Cole for a breakaway dunk in the second quarter (after which Norris slipped off the rim, falling nine feet on to his hip - ouch!). He also made a bizarre bush league play at the end of the game: KJ James grabbed a rebound with 5 seconds to go, with the Heat up 14, and stood there under the basket with the ball to let the clock run out. Lin suddenly stripped the ball from KJ, and tried to lay it in the basket, although he dorked the layup. That may fly in Asian American basketball culture, but not in the NBA - c'mon, kid! All in all, he'll have better nights, and I like him...TNT was truly out of control with it, though: several times they missed plays on the court while showing viewers shots of Jeremy Lin sitting on the bench. AND BY THE WAY, HE WAS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ALL-TIME GREAT POINT GUARD MIKE BIBBY! LIN WAS 1-11, and HIS BACKUP, THE ROTUND BARON DAVIS, WAS 0-7! HEY, NEW YORK KNICKS, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED PLAYING THE BEST POINT GUARD ON YOUR ROSTER: MIKE BIBBY?
2) Sometimes you play well, and everything flows, and sometimes you win just by playing hard. Tonight was the latter for Miami. They won this game with defense. KJ James was everywhere on the defensive end: he had 8 defensive boards (9 overall), 5 steals, and 2 blocks. He (along with Shane Battier) harassed Knick forward Carmelo Anthony into a 7-20 shooting night. He showed on screens, and recovered to the paint; he closed out on shooters from side-to-side. He, more than anyone, made it difficult for the Knicks to run their offense fluidly: just the threat of him shooting the passing lane made the Knicks hesitant with their passing - they shot only 39% from the floor, and committed 19 turnovers.
3) Also fabulous defensively: Joel "Butter" Anthony. If KJ James was the player most responsible for the overall struggle of the Knick offense, Joel was most directly responsible for Jeremy Lin's struggle. The Knicks ran high pick and roll after high pick and roll, and Joel put on a clinic defending it: kept showing hard, slowing or stopping Lin, then recovered back into the lane to stop any action at the rim. It really is the one NBA-level skill he has, and he is very good at it (and it is a valuable commodity). His 5 blocks tonight were a bonus, and he triggered the biggest sequence of the game: with 3 minutes to go in the third quarter, he slid over on a Lin drive and blocked his floater, caught it out of midair (!), and threw an outlet pass for a transition Shane Battier triple to push the lead to 13, then when the Knicks pushed the ball back hard after the make, slid back to the exact same spot on the court and drew a charge on Carmelo Anthony. The Knicks never threatened after that: ballgame. Warden.
4) As for offense, Dwyane missed a bunch of early layups, ending his first half dominance, although he did put Miami ahead for good with a third quarter spurt. We should mention: the Knicks played very hard, and well, defensively - Miami scored a lot of points in transition. If the Knicks defend like this every game, they are going to be good. Dwyane finished with 22, but only 10-22 from the floor. KJ had 20, on 7-16, and Battier made 2 big triples. But, down the stretch, it was Chris Bosh who carried the offensive load, nailing jumper after jumper, and mixing in one drive-okey-doke-and-finish on Tyson Chandler. Which brings up a painful memory. There are many, many things that Chris Bosh does not do well on a basketball court. They are all infuriating, and we won't list them again here. But one thing he does exceptionally well is shoot elbow jumpers. Knicks center Tyson Chandler is, to his credit, a one-man illegal defense. He is never, ever going to stray out of the painted area on defense for more than a moment at a time. Last year, while playing on Dallas in the Finals, he singlehandedly jammed up dozens of late game Miami possessions by standing in the lane to deter Wade and KJ drives. That is smart and great basketball, I am not criticizing him at all - he could play for me any day. But, I still believe that if instead of Dwyane and KJ trying to beat that type of defense by driving into it, or shooting over the top, they simply put Chandler in pick-and-roll after pick-and-roll (since he is always guarding Bosh at the end of games), let him jam down into the paint to stop the drive, and flip the ball back to Chris at the elbow and let him shoot the 18 footer, they win that series, easy. They lost three games in which they had comfortable leads coming down the stretch because they couldn't generate good shots, and no NBA ref is going to call illegal defense in the last five minutes of any game, let alone a playoff game, no matter how blatant it is (and they shouldn't - you have to figure out how to beat it). But Bosh is always going to make at least 4 or 5 out of 10 of those jumpers. That would have been more than enough in the end of those games - why make it more difficult than it needs to be? Tonight, they pitched it to him when Chandler planted himself in the lane - 25 for Chris on 11-17, and Miami held its lead easily the entire fourth quarter. I feel vindicated; yet, somehow, still very bitter!
5) Time for the all-star break! We're more than halfway done with the 66 game schedule, and Miami is 27-7 (and 15-2 at home). That's pretty good. Let's give some all-star break grades. Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem and me: A+. It's my blog, the three of us are always getting A pluses. KJ James: A. He's been absolutely fantastic, the best player in the league. Everyone else: A-, except for Chris Bosh, who gets a C-, but only because he played well tonight; otherwise he was getting a D. The end.
6) "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam > Jeremy Lin > every other Jeremy on earth > Jeremy Piven.
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What a great first half! Everyone is worried about other stuff besides us, for once, and our games are really so much fun to watch, absolute dunk-fests. The players seem like they are having so much fun, and that rubs off on the fans. Won't matter if they don't get it done in the playoffs, but for now, it's terrific: thank you, boys! Can't wait for this break, no blog for a whole week, I think we are back next Thursday, and I don't even know who we play! Or care! If you need me before then, I will be absolutely not be watching basketball - and loving it! See you in a week!
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Heat 120 Kings 108
6 Thoughts
1) Wheewwww! That was wacky! This game had the normal stuff - Wade starting fast (17 1st half points on his way to 30 on 11-16 with 10 assists); KJ James stuffing the boxscore (7-11 for 18 points, 8 assists, 4 rebounds, and 2 ridiculous blocks); runout dunks; and long threes by Chalmers (6-12) and Miller (2-4). That's just another normal night. But it also featured a wild third quarter, won 36-35 by the Heat in which Chalmers (4-5) and Kings rookie Isiah Thomas (5, with another one he got fouled on and made 3 free throws) trading three points bombs; a sulking DeMarcus Cousins; an electric Norris Cole; an unbelievably irresponsible zone defense from the Kings; the softest, least-inspired 20-10 ever from Chris Bosh (he looks exhausted right now); and, just maybe, the funniest play of the year for the Heat. We won't get to it all, but we'll do our best. Let's go!
2) So, last season, not one time in 82 regular season games, then 21 playoffs games, did anyone ever say: "You know who won the game tonight? The Miami Heat point guards." No one ever, ever said that. I mean, except for me, who said it every game, but only because I love Mike Bibby like a third son. Tonight, the Heat came out sloggy - Tuesday night, bad opponent, it happens - and got down 9 early, only to have Emcee Chalmers jolt them to life with two straight triples. In the third quarter, his shootout with the aforementioned Thomas was highly entertaining - Chalmers was efficient with it, though, found his spots on the perimeter, patiently hunted shots, and then took them decisively. Thomas (to his credit) was just flinging. Overall, 6-12 triples on the night for Emcee, for 20 points in 29 minutes. And his backup, Heat rookie Norris Cole, was even better! Cole entered late in the first quarter, and as is his custom, immediately fired a jumper the moment he first touched the ball - swish. He definitely leads the league in least-amount-of-time-in-game-before-taking-your-first-shot. He pushed the ball hard all night, getting to the rim and finishing, or finding teammates for open shots. It was the second unit, which features Bosh, with Cole, Mil-lar, Battier, and Haslem, which played the first 6 minutes of the fourth quarter and turned a close game into a blowout. Cole finished 5-7 from the floor for 12 points in 20 minutes, with 4 assists and no turnovers. Great game by the Heat point guards. On the other hand, I'd still trade them both for just one more game of Mike Bibby!
3) Play of the game: midway through the 4th quarter, when the second unit was just putting the finishing touches on a great run to ease the game out of reach, Norris Cole drove down the lane and drew multiple defenders. He elevated on the left side of the rim on a big, then suddenly whipped a left-handed wrap-around pass out to the right corner to Shane Battier, who was spotting up for a triple. A Kings defender closed on Battier quickly - Batt needs about 6 open yards to get his low-slung shotput up at the rim, and there was no room. So he decided to give a quick fake, followed by a drive. But whereas most guys will fake one time - like, say, fake left, then drive right - Batt threw about about 6 quick fakes on the guy like this: leftrightleftrightleftright! As the defender stood there stunned, Batt then took a dribble past him down the baseline, collapsing the defense even more, then crisply passed the ball to the right elbow to Chris Bosh, spotting up in the same coma-like trance with which he did everything tonight. As a defender sunk down on to him, somewhere through the fog in his brain he sensed Mike Mil-lar wide open back up over the left wing in three point land, and tossed the ball out to him. Mil-lar, who had just nailed a triple, fired the shot with the crowd celebrating in anticipation of another make, only to have the ball spin tightly around the rim, and then out, leading to a brief disappointed half-groan from the crowd, then a sudden explosion of joy when Udonis Haslem (10 and 7) flew in and one-hand tip-slammed the ball back through the hoop to give Miami a 13 point lead wih 6 minutes to go! Already it was the best play of the year - then the Sunsports camera panned to the Heat bench at the far end of the building, where Dwyane Wade had skipped 8 feet on to the court in joy, and was trying to scurry back to his spot on the bench since the ball was coming back at them (Kings didn't take a timeout). While Wade retreated, KJ James, with a huge smile on his face, did the, I don't know what you call it, exactly, but he was barrel-rolling his arms a la Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, while flapping his knees in a Billy "White Shoes" Johnson-modifed Chicken Dance. As Wade slipped past him looking for a seat, KJ turned around still dancing, cracking up all the fans behind the bench, one of whom looked very much like a Latino Jon Cryer, and then after Wade sat down, since he had missed KJ's dance while trying to get off the court and find a seat, KJ, still standing, did the dance for him, although he modified the arms to a more piston-like up-and-down action, making Wade crack up. "It was like a show," laughed M.Minutos, after the seventh time we rewound it on the dvr, "it was like the Globetrotters!" Exactly - except entertaining and funny!
4) The Sacramento Kings, they have a nice group of athletic, offensively-talented kids, and they had it going on that end tonight. But their coach, Keith Smart, is incredibly irresponsible. The Kings set up in a 2-3 zone defense and just sat in it all night - never really once that I remember came out and played man-to-man. There are a few problems with this one. First, Miami scored 120 points on 56% shooting, and Chalmers and Cole looked like Monroe and Frazier. That's a fairly obvious problem. But worse, the Kings are 10-22 this season. They have no chance to make the playoffs, and they are all young kids. This season should only be about developing talent. Yes, a good man-to-man defense essentially employs zone principles - but that's not the same thing as 5 guys going to a pre-determined spot on the floor, and standing with their hands in the air like sides of beef hanging in a meat cooler (Come to think of it, you know who would love this defense? Chris Bosh!). Because you know what happens when you do that? 120 points on 56% shooting, and 10-22 records! These kids aren't learning how to play NBA defense properly - that's a bad job (terrible, unforgivable job) by the coach (or whatever front office type is forcing him to do it). The franchise isn't going to be able to get better if the kids don't learn to play properly when they have a chance. Further, you are going to stunt the careers of the individual players. When they go elsewhere, to any other NBA team, they are going to be behind the curve on the defensive end of the floor - that is going to cost them money: worse contracts, shorter careers. Finally, and most importantly, zone is only for girls. I mean, really, that's what you're going to do for an entire NBA game? Play zone? Why don't you come out and play some basketball, how about that? How about the Hack-a-Shaq? You gonna try that, too? How about the hidden ball trick (baseball)? How about the pocket veto (politics)? Yeah, the pocket veto!!! You know, when the President gets a bill and doesn't sign it or veto it, just lets the ten days expire, thus creating a de facto veto, the pocket veto! C'mon! Yeah! I've been trying to work that into the blog for 4 years!!!
5) Alonzo Mourning read about the black Miami neighborhood Overtown during the Black History Month halftime segment. Zo wins the contest - that was the best performance, by far. He was way into it, he celebrated Overtown's good times with a smile and triumph in his voice, and lamented the tougher times with just the right amount of pathos. It actually didn't sound like he was reading an essay prepared by Jax (Jax writes those, doesn't he?) - it sounded like Zo had done the research himself, had written the words himself, had taken pride in doing the best job he could on the project. Just the same way, I might add, he does everything. Zo is the best.
6) I got absolutely nothing here for you. How about some Dos Minutos trivia? First car: Honda Civic (blue). First pet: Casey, a golden retriever. First arrest: fourteen years old, drug charges and aggravated assault. Dropped acid at a party, and when the po-lice arrived to break it up (you know, cuz kids were having fun), I crawled in behind one of them and had my friend BT push him backwards over the top. Seemed like a good idea at the time - acid can do crazy things to your brain. First time making love: in a strawberry patch in Avon, Connecticut. That's how we do it in Connecticut!!! First basketball hero: Earl Kelley, UConn guard from 1982-86. Greatest love: M.Minutos. Second greatest love: Mike Bibby.
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Ohhhhhh, we are back on Thursday night in Miami to play Jeremy Lin and the Knicks! There are only 6 or 7 regular season games to really get excited about as a fan, and this is one of them! Linsanity, welcome to the asylum - I'd like to introduce you to The Warden! If you need me before then, I'm going zone on O. and P. Minutos out on our court. See you Thursday!!!
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1) Wheewwww! That was wacky! This game had the normal stuff - Wade starting fast (17 1st half points on his way to 30 on 11-16 with 10 assists); KJ James stuffing the boxscore (7-11 for 18 points, 8 assists, 4 rebounds, and 2 ridiculous blocks); runout dunks; and long threes by Chalmers (6-12) and Miller (2-4). That's just another normal night. But it also featured a wild third quarter, won 36-35 by the Heat in which Chalmers (4-5) and Kings rookie Isiah Thomas (5, with another one he got fouled on and made 3 free throws) trading three points bombs; a sulking DeMarcus Cousins; an electric Norris Cole; an unbelievably irresponsible zone defense from the Kings; the softest, least-inspired 20-10 ever from Chris Bosh (he looks exhausted right now); and, just maybe, the funniest play of the year for the Heat. We won't get to it all, but we'll do our best. Let's go!
2) So, last season, not one time in 82 regular season games, then 21 playoffs games, did anyone ever say: "You know who won the game tonight? The Miami Heat point guards." No one ever, ever said that. I mean, except for me, who said it every game, but only because I love Mike Bibby like a third son. Tonight, the Heat came out sloggy - Tuesday night, bad opponent, it happens - and got down 9 early, only to have Emcee Chalmers jolt them to life with two straight triples. In the third quarter, his shootout with the aforementioned Thomas was highly entertaining - Chalmers was efficient with it, though, found his spots on the perimeter, patiently hunted shots, and then took them decisively. Thomas (to his credit) was just flinging. Overall, 6-12 triples on the night for Emcee, for 20 points in 29 minutes. And his backup, Heat rookie Norris Cole, was even better! Cole entered late in the first quarter, and as is his custom, immediately fired a jumper the moment he first touched the ball - swish. He definitely leads the league in least-amount-of-time-in-game-before-taking-your-first-shot. He pushed the ball hard all night, getting to the rim and finishing, or finding teammates for open shots. It was the second unit, which features Bosh, with Cole, Mil-lar, Battier, and Haslem, which played the first 6 minutes of the fourth quarter and turned a close game into a blowout. Cole finished 5-7 from the floor for 12 points in 20 minutes, with 4 assists and no turnovers. Great game by the Heat point guards. On the other hand, I'd still trade them both for just one more game of Mike Bibby!
3) Play of the game: midway through the 4th quarter, when the second unit was just putting the finishing touches on a great run to ease the game out of reach, Norris Cole drove down the lane and drew multiple defenders. He elevated on the left side of the rim on a big, then suddenly whipped a left-handed wrap-around pass out to the right corner to Shane Battier, who was spotting up for a triple. A Kings defender closed on Battier quickly - Batt needs about 6 open yards to get his low-slung shotput up at the rim, and there was no room. So he decided to give a quick fake, followed by a drive. But whereas most guys will fake one time - like, say, fake left, then drive right - Batt threw about about 6 quick fakes on the guy like this: leftrightleftrightleftright! As the defender stood there stunned, Batt then took a dribble past him down the baseline, collapsing the defense even more, then crisply passed the ball to the right elbow to Chris Bosh, spotting up in the same coma-like trance with which he did everything tonight. As a defender sunk down on to him, somewhere through the fog in his brain he sensed Mike Mil-lar wide open back up over the left wing in three point land, and tossed the ball out to him. Mil-lar, who had just nailed a triple, fired the shot with the crowd celebrating in anticipation of another make, only to have the ball spin tightly around the rim, and then out, leading to a brief disappointed half-groan from the crowd, then a sudden explosion of joy when Udonis Haslem (10 and 7) flew in and one-hand tip-slammed the ball back through the hoop to give Miami a 13 point lead wih 6 minutes to go! Already it was the best play of the year - then the Sunsports camera panned to the Heat bench at the far end of the building, where Dwyane Wade had skipped 8 feet on to the court in joy, and was trying to scurry back to his spot on the bench since the ball was coming back at them (Kings didn't take a timeout). While Wade retreated, KJ James, with a huge smile on his face, did the, I don't know what you call it, exactly, but he was barrel-rolling his arms a la Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, while flapping his knees in a Billy "White Shoes" Johnson-modifed Chicken Dance. As Wade slipped past him looking for a seat, KJ turned around still dancing, cracking up all the fans behind the bench, one of whom looked very much like a Latino Jon Cryer, and then after Wade sat down, since he had missed KJ's dance while trying to get off the court and find a seat, KJ, still standing, did the dance for him, although he modified the arms to a more piston-like up-and-down action, making Wade crack up. "It was like a show," laughed M.Minutos, after the seventh time we rewound it on the dvr, "it was like the Globetrotters!" Exactly - except entertaining and funny!
4) The Sacramento Kings, they have a nice group of athletic, offensively-talented kids, and they had it going on that end tonight. But their coach, Keith Smart, is incredibly irresponsible. The Kings set up in a 2-3 zone defense and just sat in it all night - never really once that I remember came out and played man-to-man. There are a few problems with this one. First, Miami scored 120 points on 56% shooting, and Chalmers and Cole looked like Monroe and Frazier. That's a fairly obvious problem. But worse, the Kings are 10-22 this season. They have no chance to make the playoffs, and they are all young kids. This season should only be about developing talent. Yes, a good man-to-man defense essentially employs zone principles - but that's not the same thing as 5 guys going to a pre-determined spot on the floor, and standing with their hands in the air like sides of beef hanging in a meat cooler (Come to think of it, you know who would love this defense? Chris Bosh!). Because you know what happens when you do that? 120 points on 56% shooting, and 10-22 records! These kids aren't learning how to play NBA defense properly - that's a bad job (terrible, unforgivable job) by the coach (or whatever front office type is forcing him to do it). The franchise isn't going to be able to get better if the kids don't learn to play properly when they have a chance. Further, you are going to stunt the careers of the individual players. When they go elsewhere, to any other NBA team, they are going to be behind the curve on the defensive end of the floor - that is going to cost them money: worse contracts, shorter careers. Finally, and most importantly, zone is only for girls. I mean, really, that's what you're going to do for an entire NBA game? Play zone? Why don't you come out and play some basketball, how about that? How about the Hack-a-Shaq? You gonna try that, too? How about the hidden ball trick (baseball)? How about the pocket veto (politics)? Yeah, the pocket veto!!! You know, when the President gets a bill and doesn't sign it or veto it, just lets the ten days expire, thus creating a de facto veto, the pocket veto! C'mon! Yeah! I've been trying to work that into the blog for 4 years!!!
5) Alonzo Mourning read about the black Miami neighborhood Overtown during the Black History Month halftime segment. Zo wins the contest - that was the best performance, by far. He was way into it, he celebrated Overtown's good times with a smile and triumph in his voice, and lamented the tougher times with just the right amount of pathos. It actually didn't sound like he was reading an essay prepared by Jax (Jax writes those, doesn't he?) - it sounded like Zo had done the research himself, had written the words himself, had taken pride in doing the best job he could on the project. Just the same way, I might add, he does everything. Zo is the best.
6) I got absolutely nothing here for you. How about some Dos Minutos trivia? First car: Honda Civic (blue). First pet: Casey, a golden retriever. First arrest: fourteen years old, drug charges and aggravated assault. Dropped acid at a party, and when the po-lice arrived to break it up (you know, cuz kids were having fun), I crawled in behind one of them and had my friend BT push him backwards over the top. Seemed like a good idea at the time - acid can do crazy things to your brain. First time making love: in a strawberry patch in Avon, Connecticut. That's how we do it in Connecticut!!! First basketball hero: Earl Kelley, UConn guard from 1982-86. Greatest love: M.Minutos. Second greatest love: Mike Bibby.
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Ohhhhhh, we are back on Thursday night in Miami to play Jeremy Lin and the Knicks! There are only 6 or 7 regular season games to really get excited about as a fan, and this is one of them! Linsanity, welcome to the asylum - I'd like to introduce you to The Warden! If you need me before then, I'm going zone on O. and P. Minutos out on our court. See you Thursday!!!
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Sunday, February 19, 2012
Heat 90 Orlando 78
6 Thoughts
1) Somehow, I turned a 3:30pm game into a late night West Coast-ish affair - it's 1:30am. Spent the evening in South Beach drinking mojitos, eating Cuban food, avoiding all televisions so as not to see the Heat score, then cutting the mojitos with some strong, strong Cuban coffee for the ride home. Then, drank a Redbull, and watched Miami kill Orlando...annnddd, now I'm wide awake! C'mon, c'mon, get it, get it - I'm on fiyah, I'm up in here! Best record in the NBA! Chris Brown sighting in # 6! Let's go!
2) Dwyane Wade, again, was brilliant in the first half. 19 points in 18 minutes. He dunked in transition. He posted and made turnaround jumpers. He drove the lane and finished over Dwight Howard, around Dwight Howard, and once, impressively, through Dwight Howard for the and-one! He's put up high teens, or better, every first half in this six game winning streak. Came out in the third quarter and swatted a Dwight Howard layup, then blocked his follow, though the sympathetic ref called a foul so it wouldn't be too embarrasing for Dwight. Dwyane last week pointed out that he can't wear a mouthguard, like most NBA players, because he likes to chew gum while he plays. During one break in the action in the first half, M.Minutos and I rewound the DVR several times to try to figure out what kind of gum Dwyane was chomping. M.Minutos says: Trident. Dos Minutos: Bubble Yum. I am pretty sure I am right, if they still have Bubble Yum.
3) Dwyane probably kind of won the game, but KJ James played harder than anybody. He finished with 25 points on only 14 shots, and he scored in every way there is to score. He got to the rim in transition, and in the halfcourt. He got to the free throw line. He made a triple. He went down on the low block, spun in to the lane, and made a little hanger - statistically speaking, if you're in to that sort of thing, he scores more points per post touch than any player in basketball. But even better, he passed the ball well: found Dwyane Wade cutting for scores; found open shooters for easy jumpers. Even better than that, he rebounded: 11 rebounds, many of them in traffic. And even better than that, he defended: contested jumpers; jammed entry passes on the ball, and on the weak side; got his booty down in the lane and bodied Dwight Howard off the spot several times. In general, he shrunk the court and made it difficult for Orlando to run offense. Even though the Magic shot the three well again (11-29), they were only 16-45 inside the arc, for 37% overall (and only 78 points). You are skilled defensively, KJ James, and I exhort you.
4) This game was over when: Udonis Haslem made three straight jumpers at the end of the third quarter and beginning of the fourth to push the lead to 18. For, I believe, the fifth straight game, the entire fourth quarter was extended garbage time. UD struggled with his jumper early, but found it late, 5-11 for 10 points and 5 boards in 25 minutes off the bench. Right now it is Dwyane, KJ James, and then different guys every night. Even Bosh has been reduced to an ancillary part, and I think this works best. Instead of trying to force feed him touches, especially post touches, he spaces the floor, and takes opportunity jumpers, and garbage around the rim. 8 points and 9 boards tonight, and some solid defense staying out at home on Ryan Anderson (only 3-8 for 9 points). As skilled a scorer as Chris is, he isn't as skilled a scorer as Dwyane and KJ - this notion about trying to force enough shots for the three of them has, for the moment, worked itself out to "Dwyane and KJ eat, then everyone else gets leftovers." Personally, I'm fine with it. Not sure how Chris likes it, but if he likes winning, I recommend he stay the course (dad-ism).
5) Okay, last time we played Orlando, I thought we wouldn't play them again until after the trade deadline and that Dwight Howard would be gone. Oops, bad job by me. Don't know if we play them yet again before the trade deadline - I'm not even sure when the trade deadline is, sometime in mid-March, I believe - but it's time to consider what the best options for him and Orlando are. And by "best options for him and Orlando," of course, I mean, "the Miami Heat." He's a very good player, so the best option for us is that they trade him to another league, preferably in another country, like Communist China (hear they love Rick Santorum there). Barring that, I guess I prefer they trade him out west to the other conference, but not to Dallas or the Lakers, because that would be super, super annoying, especially if we had to play them in the Finals. That's problematic, because people believe that he is only willing to sign extensions in those two cities and New Jersey. I can tell you the only thing - the only thing - I fear is that Chicago figures out that they need to move on him hard. They have good young bigs they can trade (attractive to Orlando). They play Derrick Rose and Luol Deng, their two best players, tons of minutes every night, because that is what they have to do to win games (all credit to them - they go hard all the time). But, even though they are absolutely good enough to beat Miami in a series, the reality is that they don't have as much top-end talent as Miami, so it is always going to be tough on them in a seven game series - you wouldn't say they would be favored against Miami, all things being equal, health-wise. If they get Dwight Howard, that evens that equation up quite a bit. It's a big, cool city, he'd playing with another great player - it's a pretty attractive situation. Like all other players, he should absolutely go wherever he wants to - let's just hope that's not Chicago. And in his desire to leave Orlando, I respect him and salute him, because with all due respect, that city is the absolute armpit of the universe.
6) Chris Brown sighting! CHRIS BROWN SIGHTING!!! So my uncle and aunt are in South Beach for the weekend. They are staying at the swanky, celebrity-drenched W Hotel, which, for example, is where KJ James celebrated his decision to come to play for the Heat two summers ago (or was it 100 years ago? Man, time flies). My uncle and aunt are just normal white people, but they are normal white people who like to come kill it at the W Hotel for a few days each February, so, you know...So M.Minutos and I get to the hotel this evening to pick them up for dinner. We step on to the elevator and who steps on with us? Ch-ris Br-own! Fresh off his something win (Grammy?), and subsequent meltdown about how nobody likes him just because he likes to beat the hell out of girls. So, he is leaning against one wall of the elevator (with a few mellow dudes with him), and I'm leaning against the opposite wall. Lanky, good-looking kid, by the way (him, not me - okay, both of us). So I'm kind of looking at him, and he's looking at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't think I would know who he is, since I imagine I'm not exactly his normal demographic, which I assume is "teenage girls who don't mind a good smack." But, like, we're both kind of dudes, so I give him a little nod, and he nods back, and then I'm like, Well, I need to say something, so I'm like, "Hey - you want to have a rap-off?" And he smiles a little and goes, "Battle," and I'm like, "What?" and he's like, "Battle - it's a 'rap battle', not a 'rap-off'," and I'm like, "Okay, do you want to have one," and he's like, "Not really," and I was like, "I don't really either - I'm not that good at rapping, honestly." And the elevator doors opened for my uncle's floor, and M.Minutos steps out, and I tell Chris Brown, "I bid you adieu," and give him an exaggerated royal bow, before exiting. Not sure if that was cool or not - maybe I shouldn't have done that. Ahh, I think he appreciated it. The end!
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Not too sure when the next game is. I believe it is Tuesday against Sacramento. I do know that Thursday we play Linsanity, and then have a week off between games, due to the all-star break! Can't wait for both! Until then, if you need me, I'll be working on my battle skillz, and my two step: I'LL BE READY FOR YOU CHRIS BROWN! OH, YOU BEST BELIEVE, I'M GON' BE READY!!!
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1) Somehow, I turned a 3:30pm game into a late night West Coast-ish affair - it's 1:30am. Spent the evening in South Beach drinking mojitos, eating Cuban food, avoiding all televisions so as not to see the Heat score, then cutting the mojitos with some strong, strong Cuban coffee for the ride home. Then, drank a Redbull, and watched Miami kill Orlando...annnddd, now I'm wide awake! C'mon, c'mon, get it, get it - I'm on fiyah, I'm up in here! Best record in the NBA! Chris Brown sighting in # 6! Let's go!
2) Dwyane Wade, again, was brilliant in the first half. 19 points in 18 minutes. He dunked in transition. He posted and made turnaround jumpers. He drove the lane and finished over Dwight Howard, around Dwight Howard, and once, impressively, through Dwight Howard for the and-one! He's put up high teens, or better, every first half in this six game winning streak. Came out in the third quarter and swatted a Dwight Howard layup, then blocked his follow, though the sympathetic ref called a foul so it wouldn't be too embarrasing for Dwight. Dwyane last week pointed out that he can't wear a mouthguard, like most NBA players, because he likes to chew gum while he plays. During one break in the action in the first half, M.Minutos and I rewound the DVR several times to try to figure out what kind of gum Dwyane was chomping. M.Minutos says: Trident. Dos Minutos: Bubble Yum. I am pretty sure I am right, if they still have Bubble Yum.
3) Dwyane probably kind of won the game, but KJ James played harder than anybody. He finished with 25 points on only 14 shots, and he scored in every way there is to score. He got to the rim in transition, and in the halfcourt. He got to the free throw line. He made a triple. He went down on the low block, spun in to the lane, and made a little hanger - statistically speaking, if you're in to that sort of thing, he scores more points per post touch than any player in basketball. But even better, he passed the ball well: found Dwyane Wade cutting for scores; found open shooters for easy jumpers. Even better than that, he rebounded: 11 rebounds, many of them in traffic. And even better than that, he defended: contested jumpers; jammed entry passes on the ball, and on the weak side; got his booty down in the lane and bodied Dwight Howard off the spot several times. In general, he shrunk the court and made it difficult for Orlando to run offense. Even though the Magic shot the three well again (11-29), they were only 16-45 inside the arc, for 37% overall (and only 78 points). You are skilled defensively, KJ James, and I exhort you.
4) This game was over when: Udonis Haslem made three straight jumpers at the end of the third quarter and beginning of the fourth to push the lead to 18. For, I believe, the fifth straight game, the entire fourth quarter was extended garbage time. UD struggled with his jumper early, but found it late, 5-11 for 10 points and 5 boards in 25 minutes off the bench. Right now it is Dwyane, KJ James, and then different guys every night. Even Bosh has been reduced to an ancillary part, and I think this works best. Instead of trying to force feed him touches, especially post touches, he spaces the floor, and takes opportunity jumpers, and garbage around the rim. 8 points and 9 boards tonight, and some solid defense staying out at home on Ryan Anderson (only 3-8 for 9 points). As skilled a scorer as Chris is, he isn't as skilled a scorer as Dwyane and KJ - this notion about trying to force enough shots for the three of them has, for the moment, worked itself out to "Dwyane and KJ eat, then everyone else gets leftovers." Personally, I'm fine with it. Not sure how Chris likes it, but if he likes winning, I recommend he stay the course (dad-ism).
5) Okay, last time we played Orlando, I thought we wouldn't play them again until after the trade deadline and that Dwight Howard would be gone. Oops, bad job by me. Don't know if we play them yet again before the trade deadline - I'm not even sure when the trade deadline is, sometime in mid-March, I believe - but it's time to consider what the best options for him and Orlando are. And by "best options for him and Orlando," of course, I mean, "the Miami Heat." He's a very good player, so the best option for us is that they trade him to another league, preferably in another country, like Communist China (hear they love Rick Santorum there). Barring that, I guess I prefer they trade him out west to the other conference, but not to Dallas or the Lakers, because that would be super, super annoying, especially if we had to play them in the Finals. That's problematic, because people believe that he is only willing to sign extensions in those two cities and New Jersey. I can tell you the only thing - the only thing - I fear is that Chicago figures out that they need to move on him hard. They have good young bigs they can trade (attractive to Orlando). They play Derrick Rose and Luol Deng, their two best players, tons of minutes every night, because that is what they have to do to win games (all credit to them - they go hard all the time). But, even though they are absolutely good enough to beat Miami in a series, the reality is that they don't have as much top-end talent as Miami, so it is always going to be tough on them in a seven game series - you wouldn't say they would be favored against Miami, all things being equal, health-wise. If they get Dwight Howard, that evens that equation up quite a bit. It's a big, cool city, he'd playing with another great player - it's a pretty attractive situation. Like all other players, he should absolutely go wherever he wants to - let's just hope that's not Chicago. And in his desire to leave Orlando, I respect him and salute him, because with all due respect, that city is the absolute armpit of the universe.
6) Chris Brown sighting! CHRIS BROWN SIGHTING!!! So my uncle and aunt are in South Beach for the weekend. They are staying at the swanky, celebrity-drenched W Hotel, which, for example, is where KJ James celebrated his decision to come to play for the Heat two summers ago (or was it 100 years ago? Man, time flies). My uncle and aunt are just normal white people, but they are normal white people who like to come kill it at the W Hotel for a few days each February, so, you know...So M.Minutos and I get to the hotel this evening to pick them up for dinner. We step on to the elevator and who steps on with us? Ch-ris Br-own! Fresh off his something win (Grammy?), and subsequent meltdown about how nobody likes him just because he likes to beat the hell out of girls. So, he is leaning against one wall of the elevator (with a few mellow dudes with him), and I'm leaning against the opposite wall. Lanky, good-looking kid, by the way (him, not me - okay, both of us). So I'm kind of looking at him, and he's looking at me, and I was pretty sure he didn't think I would know who he is, since I imagine I'm not exactly his normal demographic, which I assume is "teenage girls who don't mind a good smack." But, like, we're both kind of dudes, so I give him a little nod, and he nods back, and then I'm like, Well, I need to say something, so I'm like, "Hey - you want to have a rap-off?" And he smiles a little and goes, "Battle," and I'm like, "What?" and he's like, "Battle - it's a 'rap battle', not a 'rap-off'," and I'm like, "Okay, do you want to have one," and he's like, "Not really," and I was like, "I don't really either - I'm not that good at rapping, honestly." And the elevator doors opened for my uncle's floor, and M.Minutos steps out, and I tell Chris Brown, "I bid you adieu," and give him an exaggerated royal bow, before exiting. Not sure if that was cool or not - maybe I shouldn't have done that. Ahh, I think he appreciated it. The end!
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Not too sure when the next game is. I believe it is Tuesday against Sacramento. I do know that Thursday we play Linsanity, and then have a week off between games, due to the all-star break! Can't wait for both! Until then, if you need me, I'll be working on my battle skillz, and my two step: I'LL BE READY FOR YOU CHRIS BROWN! OH, YOU BEST BELIEVE, I'M GON' BE READY!!!
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Friday, February 17, 2012
Heat 111 Cavs 87
6 Thoughts
1) The long slog through middle America is over! Miami finished a 6 game road trip, including a back-to-back-to-back, 5-1, winning the last five in a row by an average of 19 points. Whereas KJ James, and the whole team, looked exhausted while Dwyane Wade missed his 9 straight games with a bad foot (though they continued to win), Dwyane's return, and increasing comfort with the new offense, has eased the load on everyone else, especially KJ, and the team looks relatively fresh and energized. Let's stay out on the road! Who's with me? Not KJ James, who looked into the camera during his post-game interview with Jax and gleefully listed all the areas in Miami he couldn't wait to get back to after being out of town for so long: "South Beach! Coconut Grove! Brickell!" How about Overtown? Yeah, Overtown! Let's go!
2) This game was over when: ummm, probably halfway through the first quarter when it was 21-2. The first quarter, which Miami won 35-14, featured Wade going bananas again on the block, scoring on turnarounds and jump hooks with both hands. Wade is killing people down on the low block right now - he has adjusted and flourished in this new offense, which presents many postup opportunities. Unsurprisingly, postup basketball, which involves equal parts strength, quickness, and quick decision-making, is a strength of Dwyane's. He's easily the best postup player on the Heat (although, KJ James leads all players in the NBA on points-per-postup, so I guess I could be wrong about that - let's just agree that they are both better than Bosh). I can't think of another guard as accomplished on the block as he is. Ahh, Kobe Bryant is better, now that I think of it. Probably. Anyways, Dwyane is using the block to kick-start Miami out of the gate every game: 18 more first half points for him tonight. That is right around his average for first half points on the road trip. I think people don't quite understand how well he is playing right now, because he is barely playing in the second halves, since the games are over at halftime, and his cumulative numbers don't stand out. 22 points for him tonight on only 10 (!) shots, in only 24 (!) minutes! His brief second half stint included his first three pointer of the year, after 9 misses to start the season - he's consciously focused on posting up and abandoning the long ball. He smiled on his way back down the court after finally making one, and moments later, he okey-doked a Cav into the air on another three pointer, earning the foul. As the referees spent somewhere between 9 and 30 minutes to decide whether he would shoot 2 or 3 free throws in a 30 point blowout - valuable use of everyone's time - Dwyane, KJ James, and Mike Miller sat on the scorer's table, right in front of Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, where Dwyane made an impromptu on-mike appearance to talk about his first triple of the season: "It was a long time coming," he laughed, cracking up his teammates, as well as Eric and Tony, who apparently forgot they were broadcasting a game, "I'd like to thank God, and my family for sticking with me..." Thank heavens this was a rare Heat game that wasn't on national tv, because you would have been able to cue the national media talking about how arrogant Miami is in 3...2...1...dodged a bullet on that one!
3) One reason Dwyane has been able to abandon the three point shot is because Miami has so many other guys shooting it so well. Emcee Chalmers, who has spent the better part of the last three weeks campaigning to get into the NBA Three Point contest at next weekend's All-Star event in Orlando, saw his efforts rewarded this week when he was selected to participate (along with defending champion James Jones). Emcee hit three in the first quarter tonight, and 4-6 overall. He also dribbled needlessly between his legs at one juncture, which shocked me because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before. It occurred to me that if you had asked me if I thought he could, I would have said, "Ummm, probably not, no, not without dribbling it off his foot out of bounds." He also threw, to everyone's amazement, a semi-perfect alley-oop pass to KJ in transition for a dunk, but followed it up later in the game by splitting a double-team (something else I don't remember him doing), then airmailing an alley-oop to Wade 9 yards behind the backboard, which Wade somehow got to in midair, flung it down the baseline to KJ down in the corner, ran back in bounds on the other side of the backboard, received a pass, and made an impossible twisting 16 foot rainbow over Cavs center Semih Erden...My prediction for Chalmers for the three point shootout is that he makes every triple in the first round, but is eliminated in the second round when he goes scoreless by fumbling four of the balls off his own foot, misses all the rest of the shots, and then fouls the Orlando Magic intern rebounding the shots down in the lane...
4) Also making shots, these days: Shane Battier. He spent the first month of the season shooting somewhere between 1 and 2 percent. On this road trip, he made 20-29 shots, including 2-2 triples tonight. He's always solid defensively. When he's also helping Chalmers and Mil-lar to space the court? That's when 5 road blowouts by an average of 19 points happens.
5) Random notes: I love Linsanity as much as the next guy - but all I'm saying is that if I was guarding him, I'd make him go left, and get a little physical with him, and that would be the end of the phenomenon...Norris Cole's parents and sister were at the game (he's from Ohio). Jax did a halftime feature on them. They are a very pleasant, but very slow-talking family (like Norris). And, Norris' dad looks exactly like Norris, except with a beard and a hat! Norris in disguise!...From the first quarter, totally out of nowhere, M.Minutos, who started off her writing career at the Palm Beach Post and was a colleague of esteemed Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick, asked me: "Did you know Ethan is married to an Asian woman?" "No - no, he isn't, he is married to a Hispanic woman." "Whatever." Uh-oh - I think someone in Casa Dos may be carrying a little torch for Ethan J. Skolnick! Luckily, I am clearly not carrying one for Heat sideline reporter Johanna Gomez, who does not go with the team on road trips, not at all - the only reason I want the team to get back home to play after this long, long, interminable road trip is because I, umm, like watching the games from Miami more because the lighting in the arena is better! But that's the only reason! I don't need Johanna Gomez on the sideline during games - I still got Jax!!!
6) Narragansett beer. Get it in the tall boy cans. Old, old school. Thank me later. I may have had a few during the game tonight. Christ, it was 21-2 after 5 minutes, I had to do something.
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Heading home for a game against Orlando on Sunday. When is Orlando going to trade this freaking Dwight Howard so that the Orlando games are a lot easier? Selfish, Orlando, so selfish. If you need me before then, I'll be passed out (Narragansett). Bottom's up!
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1) The long slog through middle America is over! Miami finished a 6 game road trip, including a back-to-back-to-back, 5-1, winning the last five in a row by an average of 19 points. Whereas KJ James, and the whole team, looked exhausted while Dwyane Wade missed his 9 straight games with a bad foot (though they continued to win), Dwyane's return, and increasing comfort with the new offense, has eased the load on everyone else, especially KJ, and the team looks relatively fresh and energized. Let's stay out on the road! Who's with me? Not KJ James, who looked into the camera during his post-game interview with Jax and gleefully listed all the areas in Miami he couldn't wait to get back to after being out of town for so long: "South Beach! Coconut Grove! Brickell!" How about Overtown? Yeah, Overtown! Let's go!
2) This game was over when: ummm, probably halfway through the first quarter when it was 21-2. The first quarter, which Miami won 35-14, featured Wade going bananas again on the block, scoring on turnarounds and jump hooks with both hands. Wade is killing people down on the low block right now - he has adjusted and flourished in this new offense, which presents many postup opportunities. Unsurprisingly, postup basketball, which involves equal parts strength, quickness, and quick decision-making, is a strength of Dwyane's. He's easily the best postup player on the Heat (although, KJ James leads all players in the NBA on points-per-postup, so I guess I could be wrong about that - let's just agree that they are both better than Bosh). I can't think of another guard as accomplished on the block as he is. Ahh, Kobe Bryant is better, now that I think of it. Probably. Anyways, Dwyane is using the block to kick-start Miami out of the gate every game: 18 more first half points for him tonight. That is right around his average for first half points on the road trip. I think people don't quite understand how well he is playing right now, because he is barely playing in the second halves, since the games are over at halftime, and his cumulative numbers don't stand out. 22 points for him tonight on only 10 (!) shots, in only 24 (!) minutes! His brief second half stint included his first three pointer of the year, after 9 misses to start the season - he's consciously focused on posting up and abandoning the long ball. He smiled on his way back down the court after finally making one, and moments later, he okey-doked a Cav into the air on another three pointer, earning the foul. As the referees spent somewhere between 9 and 30 minutes to decide whether he would shoot 2 or 3 free throws in a 30 point blowout - valuable use of everyone's time - Dwyane, KJ James, and Mike Miller sat on the scorer's table, right in front of Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, where Dwyane made an impromptu on-mike appearance to talk about his first triple of the season: "It was a long time coming," he laughed, cracking up his teammates, as well as Eric and Tony, who apparently forgot they were broadcasting a game, "I'd like to thank God, and my family for sticking with me..." Thank heavens this was a rare Heat game that wasn't on national tv, because you would have been able to cue the national media talking about how arrogant Miami is in 3...2...1...dodged a bullet on that one!
3) One reason Dwyane has been able to abandon the three point shot is because Miami has so many other guys shooting it so well. Emcee Chalmers, who has spent the better part of the last three weeks campaigning to get into the NBA Three Point contest at next weekend's All-Star event in Orlando, saw his efforts rewarded this week when he was selected to participate (along with defending champion James Jones). Emcee hit three in the first quarter tonight, and 4-6 overall. He also dribbled needlessly between his legs at one juncture, which shocked me because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before. It occurred to me that if you had asked me if I thought he could, I would have said, "Ummm, probably not, no, not without dribbling it off his foot out of bounds." He also threw, to everyone's amazement, a semi-perfect alley-oop pass to KJ in transition for a dunk, but followed it up later in the game by splitting a double-team (something else I don't remember him doing), then airmailing an alley-oop to Wade 9 yards behind the backboard, which Wade somehow got to in midair, flung it down the baseline to KJ down in the corner, ran back in bounds on the other side of the backboard, received a pass, and made an impossible twisting 16 foot rainbow over Cavs center Semih Erden...My prediction for Chalmers for the three point shootout is that he makes every triple in the first round, but is eliminated in the second round when he goes scoreless by fumbling four of the balls off his own foot, misses all the rest of the shots, and then fouls the Orlando Magic intern rebounding the shots down in the lane...
4) Also making shots, these days: Shane Battier. He spent the first month of the season shooting somewhere between 1 and 2 percent. On this road trip, he made 20-29 shots, including 2-2 triples tonight. He's always solid defensively. When he's also helping Chalmers and Mil-lar to space the court? That's when 5 road blowouts by an average of 19 points happens.
5) Random notes: I love Linsanity as much as the next guy - but all I'm saying is that if I was guarding him, I'd make him go left, and get a little physical with him, and that would be the end of the phenomenon...Norris Cole's parents and sister were at the game (he's from Ohio). Jax did a halftime feature on them. They are a very pleasant, but very slow-talking family (like Norris). And, Norris' dad looks exactly like Norris, except with a beard and a hat! Norris in disguise!...From the first quarter, totally out of nowhere, M.Minutos, who started off her writing career at the Palm Beach Post and was a colleague of esteemed Heat beat writer Ethan J. Skolnick, asked me: "Did you know Ethan is married to an Asian woman?" "No - no, he isn't, he is married to a Hispanic woman." "Whatever." Uh-oh - I think someone in Casa Dos may be carrying a little torch for Ethan J. Skolnick! Luckily, I am clearly not carrying one for Heat sideline reporter Johanna Gomez, who does not go with the team on road trips, not at all - the only reason I want the team to get back home to play after this long, long, interminable road trip is because I, umm, like watching the games from Miami more because the lighting in the arena is better! But that's the only reason! I don't need Johanna Gomez on the sideline during games - I still got Jax!!!
6) Narragansett beer. Get it in the tall boy cans. Old, old school. Thank me later. I may have had a few during the game tonight. Christ, it was 21-2 after 5 minutes, I had to do something.
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Heading home for a game against Orlando on Sunday. When is Orlando going to trade this freaking Dwight Howard so that the Orlando games are a lot easier? Selfish, Orlando, so selfish. If you need me before then, I'll be passed out (Narragansett). Bottom's up!
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Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Heat 105 Pacers 90
6 Thoughts
1) This game was over early in the second quarter when KJ James posted up twice in a row at the elbow and found Shane Battier for back-to-back hoops: the first when Battier came up off a staggered screen and hit an open 15 footer; the second when Indiana overplayed the same set, Battier slipped backdoor, and KJ hit him in stride with a fastball for a layup. On the ensuing Pacers possession, KJ swooped into the paint to steal an entry pass, pushed it up court at approximately 90 miles an hour, and found Mike Mil-lar all alone for a wing triple: 40-20 Miami, timeout Indiana, game over. To win three games in a row, on three consecutive nights, against three pretty good teams (and Indiana had two days rest before this one), and they are all blow outs? Happy Valentines Day, Coach Spo - this was the woman of your dreams! Or dude, by the way. Either way is fine!
2) KJ James didn't even look tired. If anything, he looked raring to go - on the first few defensive possessions of the game he got down lowww into his defensive stance, and he stayed there all game long. He was flying all over the court on the defensive end, denying entry passes, jamming cutters, jumping in front of passes like a free safety: he had 13 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals in the first half, and Miami led 68-39 at the break. He dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated on both ends. Dwyane Wade (again had to play only 24 minutes!) had a fairly spectacular first half himself, 16 points on 6-8 (Wade's three first half point totals on the b-t-b-t-b: 21, 16, 16!), but you barely even noticed him. It's not possible to play every game with as much intensity and focus as KJ did tonight - Michael Jordan couldn't; Magic Johnson couldn't...ahhh, maybe - maybe - Jon Barry could, but he's the only one, he's the only guy who could do that. You just hope that KJ is going to be able to play at this level consistently when it matters most - if he does, no one is going to beat this team, not four out of seven times. There are probably only two questions left in Miami's season, actually: one, how healthy will they be at playoff time? Other teams' health won't matter if Miami is healthy. Two: will KJ play this well consistently in the biggest of games. Last playoffs, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. To win for sure, he has to be a little more consistent with that.
3) The stats won't really show it, not really, but Joel Anthony was also everywhere on the defensive end tonight. He took a guy a good five or six inches taller than him, Roy Hibbert (Ribbert), and took him away from Indiana: 5-12 for 10 points. He helped hold David West to a 4-10. He contested innumerable shots at the rim, finishing with two blocks (and several alters). He grabbed 5 boards in 28 minutes, but more importantly, held Ribbert to 5. He also drew a charge when Dahntay Jones careened down the lane out of control, elevated, and hit a perfectly positioned Joel knee-to-upper chest. On offense, he caught the ball effectively around the rim, flipped in both shots he took, and made 3-4 free throws for 7 points. I love you, Butter. Happy Valentines Day to you, too!
4) Shane Battier's shot is coming around. He was 3-3 tonight for 8 points, and also had 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 23 productive minutes. He is sort of learning where his opportunities can come from when playing with KJ James, especially, and Coach Spo pointed out after the game that since Dwyane has come back healthy and become acclimated to the new post-up heavy offense, the ball movement has improved dramatically, and that Battier, along with Mil-lar and Chalmers, can benefit greatly from this...Also, did Shane Battier recognize that the Heat had a foul to give on the last Pacers possession of the third quarter, under ten seconds to go, with the Heat leading by 34 points, and then give that foul? Of course he did - he's Shane Battier! Why wouldn't he?
5) For the third straight night, Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had a lottt of time to fill, because none of the three games were even remotely competitive after halftime. I have to be honest with you, I don't have any idea what the heck they talked about for most of the fourth quarter - I was monitoring Pacers backup forward, hatchet-man Jeff Foster, praying he didn't intentionally injure anyone on Miami (he tried). At one point, I am pretty sure they spent like five minutes talking about former Miami fringe-y backup forward Mark Strickland, who, if I remember correctly, last played for the Heat sometime in the late eighteenth century. Strickland, who was an athletic, bouncy power forward with absolutely no discernible basketball skills whatsoever, also had the misfortune of being the beneficiary of one of the worst Eric-and-Tony-bestowed nicknames in Heat annals, The Pogo Man, probably surpassed only in sheer dorkiness by the time that they incorrectly judged that a professional basketball player, or in this case, Yahkouba Diawara, would like the nickname, Rainbow Man, after his high-arcing, but generally inaccurate, jumper (Casa Dos nickname for Diawara: Thunder Yak, after Dan Majerle, whom Eric and Tony often bizarely compared him to. Greatest similarity? Both human.) Eric mentioned that Strickland still lives in South Florida. "I always enjoy running into him, and every other former Heat player," Eric advised Tony, "except for Ricky Davis!"
6) Okay, okay, okay, I know you want to know what life is like in Casa Dos on Valentines Day. I actually have a nice little evening planned. First, I watch the Heat game, then I write this stupid blog as fast as I can. Then, I eat some cold fried chicken, and drink a glass of inexpensive port (I can only afford domestic). Next, when I have a little buzz on, I am going to watch this Alex Morgan in bodypaint video - yes, Alex Morgan in bodypaint!!! - a few dozen times, then I'm going to crawl into bed, poke at M.Minutos unsuccessfully for a few minutes, then come back out into the kitchen to eat the last of the girl scout cookies: thin mints! Then bed, for some rest, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. Man, the life of a blogging nerd!!! So sweet!!!
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Two days off! Back Friday for a game in Cleveland. If you need me before then, I think you know where I will be. Alex Morgan. Bodypaint. You know.
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1) This game was over early in the second quarter when KJ James posted up twice in a row at the elbow and found Shane Battier for back-to-back hoops: the first when Battier came up off a staggered screen and hit an open 15 footer; the second when Indiana overplayed the same set, Battier slipped backdoor, and KJ hit him in stride with a fastball for a layup. On the ensuing Pacers possession, KJ swooped into the paint to steal an entry pass, pushed it up court at approximately 90 miles an hour, and found Mike Mil-lar all alone for a wing triple: 40-20 Miami, timeout Indiana, game over. To win three games in a row, on three consecutive nights, against three pretty good teams (and Indiana had two days rest before this one), and they are all blow outs? Happy Valentines Day, Coach Spo - this was the woman of your dreams! Or dude, by the way. Either way is fine!
2) KJ James didn't even look tired. If anything, he looked raring to go - on the first few defensive possessions of the game he got down lowww into his defensive stance, and he stayed there all game long. He was flying all over the court on the defensive end, denying entry passes, jamming cutters, jumping in front of passes like a free safety: he had 13 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, and 3 steals in the first half, and Miami led 68-39 at the break. He dominated this game in every way a game can be dominated on both ends. Dwyane Wade (again had to play only 24 minutes!) had a fairly spectacular first half himself, 16 points on 6-8 (Wade's three first half point totals on the b-t-b-t-b: 21, 16, 16!), but you barely even noticed him. It's not possible to play every game with as much intensity and focus as KJ did tonight - Michael Jordan couldn't; Magic Johnson couldn't...ahhh, maybe - maybe - Jon Barry could, but he's the only one, he's the only guy who could do that. You just hope that KJ is going to be able to play at this level consistently when it matters most - if he does, no one is going to beat this team, not four out of seven times. There are probably only two questions left in Miami's season, actually: one, how healthy will they be at playoff time? Other teams' health won't matter if Miami is healthy. Two: will KJ play this well consistently in the biggest of games. Last playoffs, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. To win for sure, he has to be a little more consistent with that.
3) The stats won't really show it, not really, but Joel Anthony was also everywhere on the defensive end tonight. He took a guy a good five or six inches taller than him, Roy Hibbert (Ribbert), and took him away from Indiana: 5-12 for 10 points. He helped hold David West to a 4-10. He contested innumerable shots at the rim, finishing with two blocks (and several alters). He grabbed 5 boards in 28 minutes, but more importantly, held Ribbert to 5. He also drew a charge when Dahntay Jones careened down the lane out of control, elevated, and hit a perfectly positioned Joel knee-to-upper chest. On offense, he caught the ball effectively around the rim, flipped in both shots he took, and made 3-4 free throws for 7 points. I love you, Butter. Happy Valentines Day to you, too!
4) Shane Battier's shot is coming around. He was 3-3 tonight for 8 points, and also had 4 rebounds, 2 steals and a block in 23 productive minutes. He is sort of learning where his opportunities can come from when playing with KJ James, especially, and Coach Spo pointed out after the game that since Dwyane has come back healthy and become acclimated to the new post-up heavy offense, the ball movement has improved dramatically, and that Battier, along with Mil-lar and Chalmers, can benefit greatly from this...Also, did Shane Battier recognize that the Heat had a foul to give on the last Pacers possession of the third quarter, under ten seconds to go, with the Heat leading by 34 points, and then give that foul? Of course he did - he's Shane Battier! Why wouldn't he?
5) For the third straight night, Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino had a lottt of time to fill, because none of the three games were even remotely competitive after halftime. I have to be honest with you, I don't have any idea what the heck they talked about for most of the fourth quarter - I was monitoring Pacers backup forward, hatchet-man Jeff Foster, praying he didn't intentionally injure anyone on Miami (he tried). At one point, I am pretty sure they spent like five minutes talking about former Miami fringe-y backup forward Mark Strickland, who, if I remember correctly, last played for the Heat sometime in the late eighteenth century. Strickland, who was an athletic, bouncy power forward with absolutely no discernible basketball skills whatsoever, also had the misfortune of being the beneficiary of one of the worst Eric-and-Tony-bestowed nicknames in Heat annals, The Pogo Man, probably surpassed only in sheer dorkiness by the time that they incorrectly judged that a professional basketball player, or in this case, Yahkouba Diawara, would like the nickname, Rainbow Man, after his high-arcing, but generally inaccurate, jumper (Casa Dos nickname for Diawara: Thunder Yak, after Dan Majerle, whom Eric and Tony often bizarely compared him to. Greatest similarity? Both human.) Eric mentioned that Strickland still lives in South Florida. "I always enjoy running into him, and every other former Heat player," Eric advised Tony, "except for Ricky Davis!"
6) Okay, okay, okay, I know you want to know what life is like in Casa Dos on Valentines Day. I actually have a nice little evening planned. First, I watch the Heat game, then I write this stupid blog as fast as I can. Then, I eat some cold fried chicken, and drink a glass of inexpensive port (I can only afford domestic). Next, when I have a little buzz on, I am going to watch this Alex Morgan in bodypaint video - yes, Alex Morgan in bodypaint!!! - a few dozen times, then I'm going to crawl into bed, poke at M.Minutos unsuccessfully for a few minutes, then come back out into the kitchen to eat the last of the girl scout cookies: thin mints! Then bed, for some rest, so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow. Man, the life of a blogging nerd!!! So sweet!!!
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Two days off! Back Friday for a game in Cleveland. If you need me before then, I think you know where I will be. Alex Morgan. Bodypaint. You know.
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Monday, February 13, 2012
Heat 114 Bucks 96
6 Thoughts
1) You are in the middle game of a back-to-back-to-back, all on the road, in the cold, against a team off the night before, and you have already lost twice to them. The other team is over-physical, and loves nothing better to grind you, frustrate you, and fling wild triples into the basket at the offensive end. Then you immediately get down 8, because they beat you to a bunch of early loose balls. It is an easy game to give up, to say, "ahhh, whatever," and let it go. But on this night, KJ James and Dwyane Wade decided to grind themselves. And that consisted of them taking turns going to the post over and over. And over. And over. And scoring, and scoring, and scoring, until they had blown the Milwaukee Bucks out, rendered the fourth quarter meaningless for the second straight night, and received extra minutes of rest for the starters. Now Miami goes to Indiana tomorrow for the culmination of the "Cities We Would Never Want to Live In" tour, and has the opportunity to become the first NBA team this season to win three straight, on consecutive nights, on the road, a feat tempered in magnitude somewhat by the fact that most teams get at least one home game in their back-to-back-to-backs. Commissioner David Stern: still trying to give my dad, Pat Riley, the ten-foot pole!
2) Minutes. KJ James: 33. A ridiculous 16-21 from the floor for 35 points, and 8 rebounds. Everything was either a dunk, or a postup. He posted Ilyasova; he posted Delfino; he posted Mbah a Moute; he posted Steven Jackson; he posted everyone, and scored on all of them. That was dominant. Dwyane Wade: after 24 last night, a measured 28 tonight. 8-14 from the floor for 22 points, with 5 boards and 4 assists. Also scored repeatedly from the block, shooting turnarounds over his right shoulder, and little floaters over his left. He wasn't quite as dominant as KJ, but he was the second best player on the court by a mile. Bosh: 30. Chalmers: 22. Rest. To have any chance tomorrow night, rest was important.
3) You know what happens when KJ James and Dwyane Wade are posting over and over, scoring over and over? I mean, what happens on the possessions when they don't just score themselves? Open shooters. Mike Mil-lar: 3-4 triples. He's still over 50% on the season. He also grabbed 8 rebounds in 23 minutes. Emcee Chalmers: 3-4 triples. Chalmers has the highest true shooting percentage - essentially, aggregate points scored per shot - of any guard in the league! And the Heat dropped 114 on a good defensive team, in a fairly slow-paced game. That's absurd. Especially on the second night of a back-to-back.
4) Bucks wing Stephen Jackson, a notorious wack-a-doo, had a typically uneven night. He was 3-9 in 17 minutes, and spent much of his time getting scored on in the post by KJ James or Dwyane Wade, and what little time he wasn't doing that, arguing with the officials. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid lamented that Jackson, "hasn't learned any lessons in his twelve seasons in the league." Annnnd, that's where you're wrong, Eric Reid. I'm just taking a wild guess, but I feel pretty confident that Stephen Jackson altogether rejects your notion of his being a student in need of a "lesson," and would probably claim you need a lesson in "being Stephen Jackson." It's like when the white man came to America and tried to force Christianity on the natives - it's a conceit that presupposes that the native Americans have any idea what you are talking about whatsoever. Same's pretty much true with Stephen Jackson. This is what he's got, E. Reid. You're either with him, or against him.
5) A few minutes later, during the midst of a long, blowout-y fourth quarter, Eric enlightened Heat fans on a particular quirk of his broadcasting partner, Tony Fiorentino: every time they get to a hotel on the road, no matter how late at night, Tony picks out his shirt for the next game, gets out the iron board, and has at it. "This way it dries off and is ready to go the next day," explained Tony. Not sure how much water he is spraying on that shirt that it needs to dry overnight. Anyways, in an almost mind-boggling turn of events, Eric Reid, who on the surface appears to be one of the most fastidious and assiduously prepared human beings alive, lightly mocked Tony, laughing, and claiming, "I just pick out my shirt for the game ten minutes before it is time to get ready." HAAAAAAA!!! So impulsive!!! The chances that this has happened, even one time: 0.0 percent! I am willing to lay HUGE odds that Eric Reid has his wardrobe for the entire season picked out, color-coded, logged into a computer, and packed in a travel bag, two weeks before training camp even starts! This is a man who knows off the top of his head how many dunks KJ James has in February! This is a man who can recall the details of a December road win in Cleveland...in 1997! This is a man who got upset when he was awakened before his scheduled rising time, and thus thrown off schedule, by the "cacophonous roar" of a marathon race in Sacramento last year! He doesn't do anything without a minimum of six days of careful consideration! If this is the kind of lesson you want Stephen Jackson to learn, Mr. Reid - lying to seem a lot cooler than you are - than I suggest that Stephen Jackson find a new mentor!
6) You know JoJo the Tire Guy? From "Bad Boys?" You know, that guy in the commercials who wants to fight you over the brand of tequila you drink? He's like, "Whatever happened to men - they used to be men, now they are girls, and they don't sit around wearing terrible-looking dark suits, like mine, and berate people for the kind of tequila they do or don't like to drink." Yeah, well, whatever happened to him? He was such a nice, young kid, and in "Bad Boys" all he knew about was tires, only tires - oh yeah, and about major crystal meth dealers, but mostly tires. But in the end, he was straight, he told Will Smith and Martin Lawrence what they needed to know. Why is he douche-ing it up in these commercials now? He was on "The Sopranos," right? Was this his character in "The Sopranos," a guy who liked to fight people who didn't drink the same tequila he did? Man, that really, really, really seems like a show I would not enjoy whatsoever...
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Back - again - tomorrow night in Indiana. If they win three in a row on the road, that's a fairly ridiculous feat. We'll see what happens. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking passion fruit mojitos. YEAH, COME ON, JOJO THE TIRE GUY, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, I'LL DRINK FRUITY GIRL DRINKS ALL I WANT, YOU LITTLE BLACK SUIT-WEARING SELLOUT! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!
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1) You are in the middle game of a back-to-back-to-back, all on the road, in the cold, against a team off the night before, and you have already lost twice to them. The other team is over-physical, and loves nothing better to grind you, frustrate you, and fling wild triples into the basket at the offensive end. Then you immediately get down 8, because they beat you to a bunch of early loose balls. It is an easy game to give up, to say, "ahhh, whatever," and let it go. But on this night, KJ James and Dwyane Wade decided to grind themselves. And that consisted of them taking turns going to the post over and over. And over. And over. And scoring, and scoring, and scoring, until they had blown the Milwaukee Bucks out, rendered the fourth quarter meaningless for the second straight night, and received extra minutes of rest for the starters. Now Miami goes to Indiana tomorrow for the culmination of the "Cities We Would Never Want to Live In" tour, and has the opportunity to become the first NBA team this season to win three straight, on consecutive nights, on the road, a feat tempered in magnitude somewhat by the fact that most teams get at least one home game in their back-to-back-to-backs. Commissioner David Stern: still trying to give my dad, Pat Riley, the ten-foot pole!
2) Minutes. KJ James: 33. A ridiculous 16-21 from the floor for 35 points, and 8 rebounds. Everything was either a dunk, or a postup. He posted Ilyasova; he posted Delfino; he posted Mbah a Moute; he posted Steven Jackson; he posted everyone, and scored on all of them. That was dominant. Dwyane Wade: after 24 last night, a measured 28 tonight. 8-14 from the floor for 22 points, with 5 boards and 4 assists. Also scored repeatedly from the block, shooting turnarounds over his right shoulder, and little floaters over his left. He wasn't quite as dominant as KJ, but he was the second best player on the court by a mile. Bosh: 30. Chalmers: 22. Rest. To have any chance tomorrow night, rest was important.
3) You know what happens when KJ James and Dwyane Wade are posting over and over, scoring over and over? I mean, what happens on the possessions when they don't just score themselves? Open shooters. Mike Mil-lar: 3-4 triples. He's still over 50% on the season. He also grabbed 8 rebounds in 23 minutes. Emcee Chalmers: 3-4 triples. Chalmers has the highest true shooting percentage - essentially, aggregate points scored per shot - of any guard in the league! And the Heat dropped 114 on a good defensive team, in a fairly slow-paced game. That's absurd. Especially on the second night of a back-to-back.
4) Bucks wing Stephen Jackson, a notorious wack-a-doo, had a typically uneven night. He was 3-9 in 17 minutes, and spent much of his time getting scored on in the post by KJ James or Dwyane Wade, and what little time he wasn't doing that, arguing with the officials. Heat play-by-player Eric Reid lamented that Jackson, "hasn't learned any lessons in his twelve seasons in the league." Annnnd, that's where you're wrong, Eric Reid. I'm just taking a wild guess, but I feel pretty confident that Stephen Jackson altogether rejects your notion of his being a student in need of a "lesson," and would probably claim you need a lesson in "being Stephen Jackson." It's like when the white man came to America and tried to force Christianity on the natives - it's a conceit that presupposes that the native Americans have any idea what you are talking about whatsoever. Same's pretty much true with Stephen Jackson. This is what he's got, E. Reid. You're either with him, or against him.
5) A few minutes later, during the midst of a long, blowout-y fourth quarter, Eric enlightened Heat fans on a particular quirk of his broadcasting partner, Tony Fiorentino: every time they get to a hotel on the road, no matter how late at night, Tony picks out his shirt for the next game, gets out the iron board, and has at it. "This way it dries off and is ready to go the next day," explained Tony. Not sure how much water he is spraying on that shirt that it needs to dry overnight. Anyways, in an almost mind-boggling turn of events, Eric Reid, who on the surface appears to be one of the most fastidious and assiduously prepared human beings alive, lightly mocked Tony, laughing, and claiming, "I just pick out my shirt for the game ten minutes before it is time to get ready." HAAAAAAA!!! So impulsive!!! The chances that this has happened, even one time: 0.0 percent! I am willing to lay HUGE odds that Eric Reid has his wardrobe for the entire season picked out, color-coded, logged into a computer, and packed in a travel bag, two weeks before training camp even starts! This is a man who knows off the top of his head how many dunks KJ James has in February! This is a man who can recall the details of a December road win in Cleveland...in 1997! This is a man who got upset when he was awakened before his scheduled rising time, and thus thrown off schedule, by the "cacophonous roar" of a marathon race in Sacramento last year! He doesn't do anything without a minimum of six days of careful consideration! If this is the kind of lesson you want Stephen Jackson to learn, Mr. Reid - lying to seem a lot cooler than you are - than I suggest that Stephen Jackson find a new mentor!
6) You know JoJo the Tire Guy? From "Bad Boys?" You know, that guy in the commercials who wants to fight you over the brand of tequila you drink? He's like, "Whatever happened to men - they used to be men, now they are girls, and they don't sit around wearing terrible-looking dark suits, like mine, and berate people for the kind of tequila they do or don't like to drink." Yeah, well, whatever happened to him? He was such a nice, young kid, and in "Bad Boys" all he knew about was tires, only tires - oh yeah, and about major crystal meth dealers, but mostly tires. But in the end, he was straight, he told Will Smith and Martin Lawrence what they needed to know. Why is he douche-ing it up in these commercials now? He was on "The Sopranos," right? Was this his character in "The Sopranos," a guy who liked to fight people who didn't drink the same tequila he did? Man, that really, really, really seems like a show I would not enjoy whatsoever...
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Back - again - tomorrow night in Indiana. If they win three in a row on the road, that's a fairly ridiculous feat. We'll see what happens. If you need me before then, I'll be drinking passion fruit mojitos. YEAH, COME ON, JOJO THE TIRE GUY, I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU, I'LL DRINK FRUITY GIRL DRINKS ALL I WANT, YOU LITTLE BLACK SUIT-WEARING SELLOUT! I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, PUNK!!!
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