6 Thoughts
1) First half from Portland: Dwyane Wade and KJ James, 16-23 for 41 points; entire Portland Trailblazer team, 42 points; rest of Heat team, 19 points. Heat by 18 at half. Ballgame. Nine wins in a row, all by double digits. It's late. Let's go.
2) Wade finished the first half with 22, and had 33 for the game, with 10 assists. KJ scored 38 points on only 22 shots, and also had 11 rebounds, 6 assists, 5 steals and a block. What? Only one block? Oh - it was a screaming chase-down tomahawk which ricocheted off the backboard at 60 miles per hour? Okay, that's fine. And, once again, the first half, especially, was like a track meet, only if at the end of every sprint in the track meet, someone jumped up and dunked a basketball with extreme force. At one point, Wade and James had so many transition dunks that when Wade scrambled down a loose ball at midcourt and started to steam upcourt again, referee Bill Kennedy tried to take a foul to slow him down. Wade eluded Kennedy, pushed down the right side of the court, and as a Blazer hustled over to try to cut him off, suddenly threw a blind right-handed hook pass back up over his left shoulder which a freight-training KJ James located on the dead run, elevated, and in one motion with his right hand caught-and-windmill-slammed the ball through the basket. President Barack Obama (unfortunately a Bulls fan, but not a Derrick Rose fan because he doesn't like humorless egomaniacs) said it best this week when asked about the Heat: "When those folks get going on a fastbreak, it's over." Yes, yes it is...
3) Chris Bosh: out, death in the family. Udonis Haslem: in, 11 points and 14 rebounds in only 27 minutes.
4) So Dwyane Wade has this Eurostep move, right? Basically, when you are driving to the basket, you take one hard, veering step in one direction, get the defender to shift his weight that way, and then a sharp step back across him the other way, all the while pushing up closer to the basket. Obviously, named after European dudes - it's a popular move over there, although they tend to combine it with not dribbling for 6 steps before scoring. Wade's great at it, he can almost always get around his defender for a layup, or at least draw a foul. Tonight, late in the second quarter, he drove down the right side of the lane, and took a hard right step on Blazer forward Nicolas Batum, before swiftly coming back left to try to Eurostep to the rim. It was great, except Batum, maybe for the first time in NBA history, anticipated the Eurostep and beat Wade to the spot in the lane. And guess what? Nicolas Batum is European! He's French! He saw this move coming before you even woke up this morning, Dwyane Wade! Luckily, caught in a awkward position, Wade managed to leap into the air, somehow lean back right, and flip in a nine foot bank shot around Batum for his 21st and 22nd points of the half. American ingenuity triumphs again! And the Dow is above 13,000! And we killed Bin Laden! When Barack Obama gets going, it's over! We're back, baby!
5) Bald Watch: KJ James. M. Minutos claims the NBA-approved headbands are wider this year, solely to help KJ cover up his receding hairline. As we noted in the offseason, KJ made a big step by acknowledging his problem, but has repeatedly vowed not to cut it all off. That's fine, that's a personal choice. He's going bald in that receding-at-the-temples-but-only-a-little-bit-on-top kind of way, like a black Christian Slater. But you know who is going all-the-way-bald, like Woody-Harrelson-it's-thinning-out-everywhere-and-if-he-was-white-he'd-be-combing-it-over? Kevin Durant. Durant's getting shiny everywhere, up top, in the front - everywhere. I make this prediction: barring one of the two going to seek "assistance," a la Carlos Boozer or Deron Williams, Kevin Durant shaves his head long before KJ ever does. Note to KJ and KD: look at Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams' hair. Is that what you want? Hold on as long as you can, then shave it off...
6) This story is totally true: GFOB (Great Friend of the Blog) Plumber lives in New York. A couple of weekends ago, he went into the city to have dinner and see a Davy Jones concert. Yes, that Davy Jones, from The Monkees. And, no, Plumber is not seventy years old, and, no, I don't think he intensely detests music. He's just not a huge music fan, and when he does listen, he likes to keep it old, old school. He also loves Roy Orbison, and the Louvin Brothers. And, anyways, so he went to a Davy Jones concert - big deal, it's New York City, what the hell else was he going to do that night? It's not like he had a lot of options. Anyways, as you probably know, Davy Jones passed away this week (not too far from Dos Minutos International Headquarters, incidentally). Sad day. M.Minutos immediately wondered if Plumber was in any way responsible for his demise, but Plumber pointed out that he probably died from over-excitement from playing old Monkees songs. Still, he took precautionary action: "I just cancelled my tickets to see Huey Lewis next month -- just in case."
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Back tomorrow night for a game in Utah. Hide the kids, we're going to Utah! No - just the black kids! If you need me before then, I'll be at The Hair Club for Men, telling my doctor, "See this picture of Carlos Boozer? This is what we don't want!" See you then...
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