1) Look, I have to be honest with you: this game was over 20 minutes in, and I spent the last three and a half quarters making reservations for a short trip to Disney World in February, and writing the cautionary lawn care tale down in #6. But I imagine we didn't play too well.
2) We don't want to bag on one guy particularly, because this was a pretty big mid-season game - Charlotte now slides in front of Miami for the #5 spot in the East - and everyone was bad, but...Jermaine O'Neal. There are nights when he provides some post scoring, protects the rim, and rebounds a little. Other nights, he is brutal. Like tonight, with 4 points (in the first three possessions of the game) and 3 boards in 22 minutes. Worse, he rotated defensively with all the urgency of The Situation "leaping" to Snookie's defense after she got tagged in the kisser by a Jersey Shore ruffian. I understand, he is old, the knee cartilage is turning to silt, and he can't bring it every night. But I think it is fair to question how invested he is. He is a free agent at the end of the season, and I am sure he will land somewhere for short years and short dollars. It just seems to me, reading his body language, that he rarely interacts with other guys on the court, seems very quiet, and is most definitely outside of the Wade-Pres Rich-Wright 1-3-5 click, and I doubt he takes a real interest in the nightly follies of the kids like Emcee Chalmers and Beas. I feel bad for him, in a way - he has been a legitimate NBA "guy," and gone through the wars, and he just feels a little bit like an outsider to me right now. At a minimum, I'd like to see Jamal Magloire give him a big hug.
3) One more hoops-related item, then some blowout material. The Heat end the first half 21-20. I think that is about where most people thought they would be. Wade was lousy - by Wade standards - for the first 30 games, but he is trending up. Beasley is up. Haslem has been solid, and Rafer Alston is at least a mild upgrade at the point. Just feels like maybe they could put together 5 wins in a row at some point, but the last three weeks have been unbelievably yo-yo-ey: really solid performances followed by absolutely horrific performances. Tough to explain. The team has been good on the road: 9-10, which is solid for a middling NBA team. But they have been brutal at home: 12-10, which is poor for a middling playoff team. They are an enigma. I feel like they have to make the playoffs, even if they get bounced right out again - the only thing that matters is making Dwyane Wade feel okay about staying this offseason, and being able to add another big-time player or two. Missing the playoffs would be too depressing, and might nudge Wade toward the door. I really believe they are more likely to string 5 wins together than 5 losses - if they can get that done somewhere in here, they are going to be fine. Start to slide, and I don't want to even think about it...Okay, blowout material:
4) Our favorite reader, Thor, has a complaint about our post from last night's Indiana game, this item:
Wade bounced up, and the Heat Nation breathed a big sigh of relief.
Thor's email (keep in mind, he's our favorite reader):
The term “Heat Nation” is super gay and I hope it is not indicative of Dos becoming part of the typical sports reporting machine and its choked throat of cliché and term cannibalism.
Super gay? You would know!!!
Sorry, that's all I have - it was pretty super gay...
5) Occasionally, but not too often, I am funny. But you know who is always funny? That's right, Dos Minutos' favorite NBA player, Rasheed Wallace! Apparently, on tilt again - I am going to guess that, this time, it has something to do with the refs:
The NBA fined Boston Celtics forward Rasheed Wallace $35,000 for publicly criticizing game officials following Monday's 99-90 loss to the Dallas Mavericks.
"[The officials] don't like tough defense on [Dirk Nowitzki], so, of course, I get a whole lot of [expletive] calls," Wallace said after Monday's game in which foul trouble limited his minutes. "That's how the story goes, I'm not worried about it. We'll see them again."
The Mavericks made a late third-quarter run with Wallace sidelined with four fouls. Asked if he thought that was the difference in the game, Wallace added, "Actually, I honestly can't remember which one the fourth foul was, there was so many bogus [calls], but I'm not worried about it."
6) So I am trying to buy two gumbo limbo trees for my backyard and I emailed my lawn care guy who writes back, in all caps, LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN FIND FOR YOU. I give him a few weeks, don't hear from him, email him back like, What's up, do you want me to go find the trees myself, that's no problem, and he's like, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, I AM STILL TRYING TO LOCATE SOMETHING FOR YOU. Not sure if he was actually going out in to the forest to try to find gumbo limbo trees in nature - I had assumed he was just going to go to a nursery and buy them because there are about 6 within 5 miles of my house. So I eased back and let him continue his search. In the meantime, I bring O.and P. Minutos, along with my father-in-law, X, and Julia Roberts to Rufus' bar-b-que off his truck in Boynton Beach one late afternoon. Rufus had driven the truck away, so we slid over to Troy's shack-like bar-b-que a few blocks down Federal Highway. I walk up to the window to order - it isn't in the best neighborhood ever - and this 6'5" humongous guy comes around the corner and gives me major dap: my tree trimming guy Big Dub! My father-in-law is sufficiently impressed because here is his nerdy, white, white son-in-law (my f-i-l is a large black dude himself) apparently with a major rep at the local bar-b-que. So, I explain my frustration with the lawn care guy and his search for the elusive gumbo limbo to Big Dub - you know, right out there at the rib shack because that's how we do - and he tells me to just go find two trees at a nursery, pay for them, and he'll swing by with his truck, pick them up, and put them in the yard. Cool, I'm with it. However, I forgot that Big Dub, well, let's just say there is a chance that he likes the sticky-icky. He is the only tree trimming guy that regularly comes by his clients' house for an advance on future tree trimming services. Two nights later, he is at my door looking for $100 for the tree planting - by the way, I hadn't even considered going out to look for trees yet - I give him the advance, and tell him I will call him (Upon hearing this news in Dos Minutos HQs the next day, The Captain says: "Oh yeah - I like this idea!"). Of course, a day or two later, my lawn guy emails back to say: I HAVE LOCATED TWO TREES AND CAN INSTALL THEM WHENEVER YOU WANT. No price, no size, nothing - that's the whole email. About 6 painful emails later - he lacks quality written communication skills - I find out the price and size of the trees, and tell him to go ahead and get it done. The point of this story? Is there anybody out there who wants to pay me $50 for $100 worth of yard work by a 6'5", bar-b-que eating, base-head? I am willing to take a loss...