1) My house smells like slow-roasted pork butt and cayenne. Ahh, pork and cayenne, smells like...a methodical 6 point win over a pesky Toronto team! Ohhh, this is gonna taste good, let's write this blog quick and get to pork and football (minus the football - I can't lie, I'll never make it through the game).
2) Last game was all about the balanced scoring, more of a scoring buffet for everyone. Today was a more typical Heat game: KJ James (adding the "James" to the "KJ" - it's a Hubie Brown thing) was the pork, the main ingredient, with 30 points on 17 shots, and 9 rebounds. Dwyane was the spice, the cayenne, with 25 on 14 shots. Two more blocks for Dwyane - have Eric Reid or Tony Fiorentino ever pointed out on the broadcast what a good shot-blocker Dwyane is for a guard? Not too sure, can't remember them ever mentioning it. Bosh was like the tortilla: a little flat today, on 12 points, but had 8 boards, 4 assists, and was active defensively. Udonis Haslem was like the homemade guacamole - added that little something extra to take it all up a notch with 8 points, including 2 big jumpers late, and 9 rebounds in 26 rock solid minutes. He's starting to come around - two straight games in which he has made shots down the stretch. Looking more like UD...
3) Do you want me to potentially ruin Mario Chalmers' season? Do you want me to risk it? Okay, I'm going to risk it. He's generally the Heat's nachos: looks delicious, but you really shouldn't go there, it's not good for you. But, honestly, he is shooting the crap out of the ball this year. He made 3-5 triples again today, and he's over 46% from deep on the season. He's also over 50% from the floor overall, and he's 80%+ from the line. Yes, he still turns the ball over too much. Yes, he commits insane fouls on jump shooters at the end of the shot clock. Yes, he dribbles around the court like he just stepped off an hour on the tilt-a-whirl; and, he's the worst alley-oop passer of all-time. But he is really, really spacing the floor this year, and I always trust him on open catch-and-shoots. Now, get ready for the ice age of all shooting cold spells in 3, 2, 1...Sorry, Emcee...
4) Well, the Big Cat, Jamal Magloire, was back in town with the Raptors today. He didn't injure anyone with a ridiculously hard foul, that's the first thing, that was a huge win for the Heat team. What he did do was positively light up everyone associated with the Heat organization. Big Cat was one of the most popular players the Heat have ever had - every player has always loved him, and both the pre and post game handshakes turned into a reception line worthy of Prince William's wedding (not Harry's when he gets married - no one is going to want to shake that snarky, gingy's hand). Literally, the sight of the Big Cat back in The Trip was the happiest I've ever seen KJ James - as Cat engaged in conversation with Joel Anthony during pre-game warmups, KJ suddenly ran over, shoved Butter out of the way, and with a huge genuine smile (not the fake, but polite, over-smile he always gives Jax during post-game interviews) embraced Cat and shared a few warm words. But then Cat went right back and resumed his conversation with Joel. He didn't care that KJ James is a superstar and that Butter is a human greased-up turnover. He treats everyone with the same respect and dignity, no matter who they are. You know why? What the hell is wrong is with you, I just told you: he's Big Cat Magloire!!!
5) Well, it was the annual kids day for the Sunsports broadcast. Jax' kids were there - they do a super-solid job, although I didn't like it when Jax aborted his son's post-game interview with KJ to ask his own questions. Not sure he did a better job than his son was doing. Also, it was a little disturbing that former kid day star Joey Brandler, who usually does a quarter of play-by-play with Eric and Tony, had apparently been fired to open up a spot for Heat beat reporter Ira Winderman's son. Nepotism is a heller-bitch - better you learn that now, Joey Brandler. Although to be fair, Jake Winderman was extremely stellar. Plus, he openly campaigned for Eric Reid's job: "This is where I want to be; this is where I have wanted to be my whole life," Winderman asserted during his second quarter announcing stint. It's nice to see a kid with ambition. Tony Fiorentino, predictably, got a big chuckle out of that. Not chuckling? The man whose job Jake was trying usurp, Eric Reid: "You can go to hell, kid."
6) Great friend of the blog, DW, writes in to ask: "How did you meet M.Minutos? She seems a lot cooler than you." You know what, DW? You can go to hell, too. Still, though, it is a fair question, one that deserves answering. I think some readers already know this story, so feel free to skip it if you want. Basically, I was like 22, living in the city, after I had failed out of college. I was totally having a hard go of it. I couldn't get a regular job in corporate America, because I had, you know, failed out of school. My band sucked because I had no talent, and refused to work with anyone who did. I was broke, with no prospects, and no friends. One evening, I was sitting in a fuckin' TGIF because they had free appetizers at happy hour - I'd go in, buy the cheapest draft beer they had, and then sit there gorging myself on the free appetizers so that I wouldn't starve to death. While I was scarfing down crappy chicken wings, I saw this supercute little black girl sitting a few seats down from me. It was pretty empty in there - it was a fuckin' TGIF! I kept looking over until we "accidentally" made eye contact, and then I was, like, "Hey," and she was like, "Hey," and we started talking. She was just getting ready to finish college, and she had come to the city to visit her boyfriend, who had a job at a music label. So instantly, I fucking hated him, because he had this supercute girlfriend, and a job at a record label - it made it even worse that it was in the hip hop division, so I couldn't even, like, try to make a connection to him for my band. But the more we talked, the more it came out that their relationship wasn't going well, and that she had kind of had it with him. She was telling me, You know, it's just kind of run its course. And they had had an argument, and she left his apartment, and had come to this bar to chill out. She was leaving the next day, and she was, like, "I don't even want to go back to his apartment tonight, I just want to hang out in the city until my flight tomorrow," and that sounded promising, but I didn't want to show it or anything, and then she was like, "No, I shouldn't really be here, I should go back to his apartment," and that hurt my heart, but with whatever bravado I could muster up in my beaten down state, I was like, "If you don't want to be here, leave then." And there was a long pause, and we looked at each other. And I was feeling it - I felt sure I was feeling it, that it was really, really, really real, and I couldn't believe that she wasn't feeling the same thing. I couldn't be that wrong. And then she said - she said, "You wanna go for a ride? I got sixteen hours to burn, and I'm gonna stay up all night." Then we fell in love, then we got married. The end. You know what's so weird, though? Greg Dulli wrote a song about it, check it out:
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Time to go get this pork roast out of the oven. We'll be back on Tuesday for a game against Cleveland. If you need me before then, I'll be following Jake Winderman on twitter. Happy Superbowl!
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