Saturday, December 15, 2012

Heat 102 Wizards 72

6 Thoughts

1) Ahhh, that's more like it.  When you are the defending champs (#Champs), and you have KJ James and Dwyane Wade, ninety percent of the games you play are amongst the two or three biggest games your opponents will play all season.  You are always getting someone's A+ effort, getting their best shot - Heat opponents have played above their heads all season long.  That's fine, that hardens you a little, but it is tiring - sometimes it is a comfort to have a bad team come to town and play absolutely terrible.  Just before tipoff, M.Minutos begged the three win Wizards to oblige: "you be you."  Annnnd, they did!  Laugher tonight in Miami, this one was over moments into the game.  I put a little vodka into the protein smoothie that I drank while watching the game, and I've never felt more fit, or more drunk.  Staying in shape is fun!  Let it fly!

2) The only drama in this game was whether KJ James would extend his consecutive 20 point game streak.  He had scored 20 or more in 25 straight coming into tonight, but had only 7 at halftime.  With about 8 minutes to go in the quarter, the Heat up by about 100, and KJ still in single digits, anyone could see coming from a mile away that Heat play-by-play man Eric Reid, who loves the numbers, was going to start to get antsy, since it was clear James wasn't going to play the fourth quarter.  Reid once (over) celebrated a Voshon Lenard (I think - maybe Anthony Carter?) triple at the buzzer of a blowout loss years ago because it extended the Heat's NBA record consecutive games streak with a three pointer made to like 10,000 or something (it's since been broken - hard to go a whole game without a triple).  "Tony, we are getting lots of tweets about KJ's 20 point streak, people are demanding that the Heat leave him in until he gets 20 points," worried Eric.  Of course, by "people," he primarily meant a certain twitter account with the handle "@EReidMiamiHeat."  KJ got it to 15 with a couple of minutes to go, then he really went to work.  Longgg fallaway from the right wing with under two to go to get to 17, then an off-the-dribble left elbow jumper at 1:30 to get to 19.  With Heat fans willing him to score - and by "Heat fans," again I mean "@EReidMiamiHeat" - Norris Cole won a jump ball at the Heat's defensive free throw line, Ray Allen grabbed it and in one motion threw a homerun overhand strike to KJ on the dead run for the layup at 1:16 to get to 21 (and a 29 point Heat lead)!  Crisis averted!  Just in case the tally was wrong, KJ banged in another jumper with 10 seconds to go to finish wth 23.  He outscored Washington 16-10 in the third quarter, it's now 26 games with 20 or more, the last 10 at 50% or better from the floor.  He's aigghhttt...By the way, this is the part of the blog where I am obliged to point out that Memphis Grizzlies announcer Pete Pranica isn't into individual achievements at all - he's all about team accomplishments.  Sometimes he won't even call the players by their names, just their uniform numbers, to emphasize the importance of the collective over the individual.  I'm just saying... 

3) Play of the game: Dwyane Wade acquired a loose ball in transition, steamed upcourt alone with Wizard Chris Singleton chasing him.  A step before Dwayne went to elevate, Singleton grabbed him from behind to take a foul, but just before he did, without looking Dwyane slipped the ball behind his back backwards to - uh-ohhhh!!! - a freight-training KJ James, who caught the ball on the run and power-flushed it through the basket while Singleton wrapped up the wrong guy.  Should have been a three point play - just because Dwyane dropped the ball off doesn't mean Singleton's grab wasn't a foul...Whichhhh leads us to our favorite part of the night...

4) ...that this game was referred by Dick Bavetta, whom Eric pointed out recently turned 173!  Wait- what?  Oh, "only" 73.  And he's reffed like 8.000 straight games, he's never missed a day of work.  He didn't see the foul on Singleton, he made bizarre calls that went for and against both teams - sometimes on the same play - and on the aforementioned jump ball leading to KJ's important basket, he didn't appear to know the rules governing jump ball situations.  He made Norris Cole and Jordan Crawford jump it up when he couldn't decide whom a ball went off of out of bounds.  Both teams should have been allowed to select any player they wanted to jump.  I mean, if you were following the actual rules, and all.  The NBA claims that it goes to extremes to employ only the best officials on the planet, but somehow, year after year, they can't find anyone to beat out a 73 year old suffering from skin cancer, who moves with marionette-like fluidity, has a tenuous - at best - understanding of the NBA rulebook, and refers to black players as "colored" (albeit with affection).  Great friend of the blog Plumber, who is a labour lawyer (English spelling), recently pointed out that the NBA might have a high degree of liability if Bavetta suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack on the court (although Plumber also pointed out that the league would love the youtube hits from that game).  I don't know, I have to be honest with you - I don't think being dead would stop Dick Bavetta, I think he'd still ref games.  That dude is dedicated to his craft.  Or something.

5) Do you know how many times in 2 and 1/4 regular seasons with Miami that either KJ James or Chris Bosh have fouled out of a regular season game?  None.  None times.  KJ fouled out last year in a playoff game against Boston (and I'm not bitter or anything, but both the 5th and 6th foul calls were beyond janky).  KJ has only fouled out 3 times in the regular season in his entire career.  That's over 700 games.  Wow, Dick Bavetta really does work a lot!

6) Favorite holiday movie: uh, duhhh - "Christmas Vacation" wih Chevy Chase.  Least favorite holiday movie: "Jack Reacher," starring Tom Cruise, in theaters December 21st!  Haaaa!  Tom Cruise as a tough guy, military cop, or something!  Haaaa!   The military doesn't have a height requirement?  Haaaa!  This film is a must-see for me, and by "must-see," I mean I'd rather watch an extended-version director's cut remake of "Schindler's List," starring Joe Johnson and Dustin Hoffman, the two most sleep-inducing humans alive.  Although, admit it - this already sounds more interesting than the actual "Schindler's List."  Joe Johnson dribbles a ball endlessly in the parking lot of a concentration camp, ahh, yawnnn, lulling all the, ummm, yawnnn, guards to sleep, and then, yawnnn, Dustin Hof-...zzzzz.....
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Next game is Tuesday against the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Always a bad matchup for Miami because Kevin Love tries too hard - it's December, dude, take a chill pill.  Dwyane, KJ, and Bosh won't dial it past 70 on the effort meter until March!  If you need me before then - uh, duhhh - I'll be queuing up for "Reacher."  Join me, won't you?  ... Get those Xmas trees up!
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