1) I'm back from my little late-season sabbatical to Savannah. More on that down in #6. While I was gone, I saw the second halves of the wins against Charlotte and Philly - those were both basically Mike Miller showcases, as he started in place of Dwyane Wade (preventative maintenance) and started drilling triples like it was an elimination game in the Finals...Tonight was really the last meaningful game of the regular season for Miami - the win over Milwaukee helped secure the Bucks hold on the #8 spot, and made it a little more likely that the Heat can avoid an annoying-fest against Boston in the first round. The Bucks and Celtics each have 5 games left - any combination of 3 Bucks losses and Celtics wins means Miami plays Milwaukee. The Heat play Boston later this week, and should absolutely tank that game. I'd play Jarvis Tornado and no one else in that game - just Tornado, one on five against the Celtics...wait, what? Oh: Jarvis Varn-ado...Yeah, that guy - I'd play him by himself against Boston. And guess what? I think he could win! Let it fly!
2) This is why Miami should tank against Boston to try to secure a matchup against Milwaukee in the first round: Miami rested Wade and Chris Bosh, KJ James played only 30 minutes, and the Heat shooters were positively brutal (8-35 on triples, 23%). Yet, Miami won easily, were never really pushed in the second half. Milwaukee is really bad defensively, Miami shot so many threes because Milwaukee is so bad at defending - they sort of generally sink to the paint against any ball movement, or penetration, and get hung up on a ton of screens. Most of Miami's looks were wide open - it was just one of those nights when the ball didn't go in. Finally, in one stretch spanning the end of the third quarter and beginning of the fourth quarter, they made 5-6, and then Birdman Anderson ripped his third career triple (in 11 years): Miami by 18, ballgame. Much better to play this team in the first round than a team that knows how to play NBA-level defense.
3) Play of the game: easy, efficient night for KJ James. He shot 11-16 for 28 points, and had 7 rebounds and 7 assists...and one insane highlight reel play. Late in the first quarter, he pushed the ball out in transition with Mike Miller running the right wing. Only Monta Ellis was back defensively: he likes offense, but his general level of defensive enthusiasm hovers somewhere between "disengaged" and "completely unaware that defense is a thing." KJ hopped up in the air with the ball in his right hand, intending to slide the ball over to Miller for a layup...but this was the one time, ever, that Monta Ellis made a savvy defensive play. He guessed pass, and dropped right into Miller's lap when KJ elevated. James, stuck up in the air, simply switched the ball from right hand to left, glided a minute, then underhand flipped the ball up off the backboard, went back up, and slammed the ball into the bucket - hard - as Miller burst out laughing and Ellis...well, he did nothing at all. Believe me, he's given up baskets before, you think he's gonna worry about one more?
4) A lot of guys might not like living in Milwaukee, but Bucks coach Jim Boylan actually looks like a guy who would enjoy it there. He's a classic white guy - underrated stereotype, in my mind, not a lot of dudes these days are just rock-solid, classic white guys. Can't you see him in downtown Milwaukee at the, umm...doing a, ummm...Jesus, what do you do in Milwaukee?
5) Oh nooooo - I own Levis! Throw them out, M.Minutos! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU HOLD HOLY, THROW THEM OUUTTTT!!!!!!!
6) Here are my favorite American cities, in order: 1) Savannah 2) every other city in America 3) Orlando...I love Savannah, it is the illest place ever. You can walk everywhere, there is super-cool art because the design college is so prominent downtown, the early-American architecture is the coolest, the beach at Tybee Island is so chill, and there is basically no open container law. I am definitely retiring there. Like, next week. Highlight of my trip there last week: when M.Minutos started drinking "beer-mosas." By the way, yes, those are exactly what they sound like, and sweet, quiet little M.Minutos is the last person on Earth who would ever order one...orrrr, several! Lowlight of the trip: when M.Minutos passed out in bed after the "beer-mosas," before I could get my legendary "Savannah Swerve" on. Oh well, I'm back home now: there is always the "Boynton Beach Booty Call!" Time to end this blog quick!
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Next game is totally meaningless tomorrow night in Washington nobody may play but Tornado if you need me before then I'll be super-busy sorry gotta go right now!!!!!
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