6 Thoughts
1) Ahhh, so relaxing. This was not a donnybrook like yesterday's game against Chicago at all. This was the exact opposite. It was a mariebrook! Sorry...Miami got down 12 early to an absolutely brutal New Orleans team, shook off a sense of (well-deserved) malaise after yesterday's battle, and pounded New Orleans the rest of the way, leading by 27 at one point in the second half. LeBron (30 minutes, 22, 11, 8) and Dwyane (24 minutes!, 22, 3, 5) both got to rest the entire fourth quarter. In a season where the games come so fast and furious, Paul Walker-style, this game was more like a siesta! More on that down in #4. Vamonos!
2) Play of the game, in a bad way: Look, it wasn't the worst alley-oop Mario Chalmers has ever thrown, not by a long-shot. But his slightly too-high, and slightly too-long alley-oop pass to Dwyane Wade in the second quarter, which resulted in Dwyane smashing the ball off the back iron, is worth mentioning if only to highlight the following, which has been said many times, but warrants repeating again: Mario Chalmers is the worst thrower of alley-oop passes since the legalization of the dunk shot, after John Wooden lost his decades-long battle to keep it banned from the sport. Dwyane and LeBron are two of the most athletic players in basketball. When they are running, full-speed, towards the rim, it is almost impossible to throw the ball somewhere that they can't adjust to, go get it, and dunk. Yet, time and time again, Emcee throws the ball too high, or too wide, or too low - too something. And since our only other true point guard of note in the past couple of seasons, the late, great Mike Bibby, hasn't participated in a fastbreak since 2004, you haven't really seen other guys on the Heat have the opportunity to throw alley-oop passes, so you might have been thinking, like, "Hey, maybe there is something tricky about it that doesn't translate, maybe it's a lot harder than it looks..." But then unheralded rookie Norris Cole comes to the team, and he's noted more for his scoring than his point guard skills, yet, immediately, every alley-oop he throws is perfect, right on the money, and gets dunked through the basket easily (with one notable exception when he threw a screamer off the board early in the season - but even that was impressive, just for the sheer velocity of it). So, then you are like, "No, I was right before: Mario Chalmers can not throw an alley-oop at all, and he is probably the worst alley-ooper in recorded history." It's to the point that when he gets out in transition, you hope he just pulls the ball back and runs offense (in Casa Dos, when he's out in transition, we just go, "ohhhhhhhhhh," until something happens). Or hope that he punts it into the crowd - set the defense!
3) Quick question: In pre and post game interviews, what is up with Coach Spo's shirt sleeves? He is always wearing a suit jacket, but his sleeves never show. Never - never, not one time. Are his sleeves too short, or are they rolled up inside his jacket? Or is he cutting his button-down off at the sleeves to show off his guns, like Stone Cold Steve Austin, if I knew at all who Stone Cold Steve Austin was, which I obviously don't because wrestling is for backwoods rubes...
4) Okay, so back to the siesta, which I believe means "party" in Spanish. So New Orleans has this rookie center named Gustavo Ayon, and he is from Mexico. Nice country, Mexico. I had never seen him play before, I don't even know if he went to American college - I just looked up his stats, he's already 26, so the future is "ahora" for Senor Ayon. Anyways, he was playing in garbage time, which was essentially the entire second half, and he made a couple of shots, was in there fighting with the Miami backups, and then he flipped in a nice little jumper, and I, very magnanimously in my opinion, commented, "Hey, this Mexican guy is pretty good!" M.Minutos didn't like it - felt that "this Mexican guy" was an inappropriate way to describe him: "He has a name, you know." Well, I see her point, and anyways, a minute later, when Eddy Curry caught the ball down on the block and faked Ayon right out of his pancho, leading to an easy deuce, I wish I hadn't made the comment at all. Gracias, M.Minutos, for helping me to see the light.
5) Well, it's over! It's all over! And guess who the 2012 "Hot Seconds With Jax" champ is? The longest of shots (in my mind), Mr. LeBron James! As we pointed out a couple of blogs ago, LeBron absolutely murdered his three questions, and recorded the only perfect score of the season. Defending champ Mike Mil-lar came up short tonight when it turned out he knew absolutely nothing about geography whatsoever (didn't know what made the Black Hills in South Dakota - where he's from - black; could only name two of the world's oceans). I, for one, could not be more stunned! LeBron is the very last guy on the roster I would have picked to win it. As has been pointed out in this blog many times, I am never more surprised than when LeBron knows anything that a normal person knows. Not because he is dumb, at all - only because I imagine him as a basketball playing cyborg who isn't programmed to have outside thoughts. The latest LeBron-ism that stunned me was just yesterday, when it was revealed that he rode his bike from his home in Coral Gables to the arena, in order to avoid the traffic jams caused by the marathon run in downtown Miami yesterday. How is it possible that LeBron knew how to get to the arena from his house? And I know it is only like 5 miles. How did he know there was a marathon going on in Miami? How did he know where to buy a bicycle? Where did he learn to ride a bicycle, for that matter? All things that I would imagine that LeBron has never had to worry about. This in spite of everybody who works for the Heat always pointing out how engaged LeBron is; in spite of me following his twitter feed and knowing that he seems to always be watching sports, or commenting on other large news stories; in spite of me seeing dozens of interviews with him the past couple of years where he repeatedly demonstrates a solid knowledge of the world around him (while I am continually stunned that he knows Jason Jackson's name). "You know what?" The Captain pointed out today, "Maybe you are the one who has no idea what is going on around him!" Honestly - I think that's probably true. In any case, you are the champ, LeBron, you are smart, and I exhort you!
6) Bieber was at the game. I don't have Bieber Fever, but I do like talking about it. In any case, let's rank the greatest teen idols of all-time. First: Leif Garrett. So beautiful and delicate as a teenager, almost feminine with his leonine grace. Last: Danny Bonaduce. The end.
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We're off tomorrow, then back on Wednesday in - oh, no - Milwaukee. That's still the worst game of the year we've played, a loss to Milwaukee. They are the new Bobcats: you don't score; they don't score; nobody scores! And, just like the Bobcats, they have Steffan Jackson! So much fun! By the way, don't get too excited, I mean you still need to get through the rest of the week, but I'll be slow-roasting a pork butt on Superbowl Sunday, and then writing about it here on the blog. Also thinking about live-tweeting the roasting process. Remember, don't get too excited, focus on the week, and Wednesday we'll give you a little sneak preview of what's ahead here, pork-wise. Adios!
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