Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Heat 103 Nets 73

6 Thoughts

1) Are you fired up?  Ready to go?  No, seriously - are you fired up?  Ready to go?  I thought you would be!  You know who wasn't?  The New Jersey Nets!  Oh - Brooklyn Nets!  They were not fired up, not ready to go.  At all.  You know how little they cared?  Rashard Lewis dunked on them.  Twice!  You know what this all means, right?  Four more years...of Mario Chalmers!!!  Let it fly, Mario "Emcee" Chalmers (and America) - LET IT FLY!

2) The Nets never looked like they believed they could win this game - except for the Human Date Rape, Kris Humphries (11 points and 11 boards in 24 minutes - the kid's super-creepy, but he plays hard), there was a distinct lack of effort and belief from everyone else.  Deron Williams was the biggest offender - he threw the ball all over the yard on offense (7 turnovers in 31 minutes), and was an absolute turnstile defensively.  This game would have been over in the first quarter if anyone could have finished the plays that Almario Vernard Chalmers was making.  He kept blowing by Williams into the lane, finding open cutters, and dudes kept missing layups, and by "dudes," I mean "Chris Bosh."  But even most of the points they did score were due to Chalmers' new found ability to pass the ball: he found KJ James in the post with a one-handed bounce pass off the dribble past a flat-footed Williams (KJ was fouled), then found James again with a genius transition long one-hopper in rhythm past a slow-footed Brook Lopez.  Then he threw a brilliant looping entry pass to Wade, which collapsed the defense and resulted in a James triple.  Suddenly, this season, as if by magic, Chalmers has discovered passing.  With Wade and James posting up even more, Chalmers is handling the ball more than ever...and by some miracle, this has turned out to be a good thing!   His open spot-up jumpers are down (only 4 triples so far this season), but his assists are up - 7 per game (3.5 last year), 5 more tonight, and he lost a bunch due to guys missing bunnies, or getting fouled on the shot.  He also grabbed 6 boards, and clearly frustrated Williams - at one point they kept bumping each other intentionally, until Williams reached some kind of nadir by losing his temper, charging up court with the ball, and suddenly veering 8 feet across the court into a tracking Chalmers, earning an offensive foul.  Someone - I can't remember who - wrote something the other day to the effect of "scary thought - what if Mario Chalmers is becoming a good NBA point guard?"  Solid point - he's been excellent so far this season.  On the other hand, reverse jinx is now in effect - worst "Mario-esque" game ever coming in 3,2,1...don't seat any kids behind the basket in Atlanta on Friday night, unless they are wearing helmets.  Alley oop!!!

3) KJ James: 20 points on 7-12, 12 boards and 8 assists in 30 minutes.  After Humphries went bonkers on the offensive boards in the first quarter, KJ checked him for awhile, and that was pretty much the last that was heard of Humphries in the game.  Dwyane Wade: 22 points on 10-14 with 5 assists, and 2 more blocks.  After the game, KJ told Jax that no one on the team cares at all about scoring, or statistics of any kind - all they care about is making sure the ball moves, making sure the team gets the best shot possible.  It really does look that way - guys are so conscientious about moving the ball, and making the extra pass, and no one looks like they care about their numbers at all.  Okay, Dwyane looks like he might care a little.  He's making sure he gets his 20 most nights, let's put it that way.  No problem with that.

4) Let's check in on our early season predictions about Chris Bosh.  My prediction that he would make over 50 triples?  So far he has 1 in 5 games, so he's, you know, a little behind the pace!  Also, he's shooting 12.5% percent from behind the arc.  Two problems - one, he could actually shoot more of them, he's open all the time, but like everyone else he is passing the ball seeking an even better shot.  Two, he's not in the corner as much as I thought he would be - they run a lot of corner sets, but it's usually a wing who ends up in the corner, not Bosh.  He's generally rolling down the lane, or spotting up at the elbow.  I also predicted that he would be the second leading scorer on the team, ahead of Wade.  Heading into tonight, he was averaging 22.3 per game, and Wade was at 20.  I actually thought Bosh played well tonight - he was active on both ends of the floor, and kept rolling past the Nets bigs to the rim.  Kept missing layups, though, and finished 2-10 for 8 points.  Just one of those nights.  And they didn't need him - only played 24 minutes.  Wade's 22 moves him into second place for the time being.  Let's see how it plays out (CB - stop passing the ball!  Get yours, Son!)

5) Ahhh, I think maybe The Captain and I figured out today why KJ James won't shave his balding head:

6) This is a little game we like to play here once in a while called, "Who Is the Bigger Racist?" As you probably know, M.Minutos is black, for the most part, and I am white - very, very white. So this morning, I was running a little late and some very nice young women M.Minutos hired to come tidy up our house every so often were arriving just as I was leaving to go to work at Dos Minutos International Headquarters. I had never met them before - they are new, and they usually come during the day when I am working. I was in the driveway, with M.Minutos, and the young women were walking up towards us, and, without thinking, I just called out, "Hola, como esta? Bien?" Ummm, oops? One, I had no idea if they spoke Spanish. Two, even if they spoke Spanish, there was an excellent chance that they also spoke English. Three, I don't even speak Spanish - that's literally, the only Spanish I know. Oh, except for "da nada." Four, at one point last night during the election, some Republican dude was like, "the Republican party has a Latino problem," and I found it stupid and vaguely offensive - as many, many people pointed out, another name for those "Latinos" is "Americans." Predictably, as the women walked by me, they smiled (wanly) and were like, "Hey." Whoops! So, who is the bigger racist, me, or M.Minutos, or the two women? Answer: not me! It's M.Minutos. Don't forget, as MTV activist Kevin Powell said many, many years ago on the original season of The Real World, the correct formula to apply is: Race + Power = Racism. Obama is the president now, so M.Minutos has all the power, plus she is the one that hired the women. She's the racist! I am vindicated again!
Next game is Friday in Atlanta.  If you need me before then, obviously, I'll be helping to count up our election votes here in Florida.  Don't worry, I anticipate we'll have that wrapped by mid-February.  See you then, Delroy Lindo fanatics!