1) What a night! First of all, it was "White Hot" night at The Trip, which is basically a marketing opportunity in which the Heat introduced new all-white unis so folks can buy them for Christmas. Slick threads, though, they looked cool and refreshing. Secondly, Walter Ray Allen won the game down stretch...aaaaggainnn! How did we ever live without this kid? Thirdly, Walt survived not one, not two, but three assaults on his lead in "Hot Seconds with Jax!" And as if all that wasn't enough, we got another example of why it's best not to "f" with Dwyane Wade, and some long-overdue recognition for Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, at least in Casa Minutos. Best of all: WE'VE GOT RYAN GOSLING!!! Let's go, let it fly, Walt, Dwyane, Mario, and Ryan: LET IT FLY!!!
2) Remember back in the day, remember how we used to kick it back then? Sitting around, mad chilling, wondering who was going to take the last shot of a close game for us? Whether it would be Dwyane or KJ James? Remember that? Now we have the answer: NEITHER! Because it always, always, always seems like it gon' be Walter Ray Allen! After scoring 2 points in the first three quarters, and Miami struggling to stay with a scrappy Cavs squad, as KJ James like to say, Ray went HAM! He scored 15 in the fourth quarter, including 3 triples, another three point play on a layup-and-foul, and his triple from the right wing, down 2, with 18 seconds to go, on a spit from KJ, won it. All this kid do is make huge shots late! And you can see the absolute joy in his eyes each time he makes one, as he remembers the many frustrating years of misery in Boston. So good to be free, Ray! So good to be free...Side note: the Cavs played great, they really should have won this game, they played good positional defense, and played offense with aggression, which you have to do against Miami. But, again, stiffs were throwing in triples from everywhere (14-31), including 4-4 from Omri Casspi, and three of those were terrible shots. That's not the point, though. The point is, at one juncture Eric Reid referred to Casspi as "Omri," (Memphis Grizzlies announcer Pete Pranica usually goes last names only, feels it's more professional), and I thought he said, "Henri," like the French pronunciation, like, "Ennn-reee." And I was super-excited, I didn't know whom he was referring to, but that's one of my favorite names, and I thought we had one in the league now. Yes, I am a dork. Let's move on - we're back on Ray Allen in #5, by the way...
3) Listen, if you're a guard on an opposing team, know this: if Dwyane Wade is checking you, it isn't going to be your toughest offensive night ever. Defensively, yes, you are going to work, he's going to challenge you, but on the other end when you have the ball, as long as you keep it cool, don't embarrass him, don't try to show him up, he'll let you do your little thing, he'll let you get yours a bit. It's cool, there's 82 games, he's not trying to kill himself in November. But, listen, don't be stupid. When you're down 2 with 18 seconds to go, don't take the ball, pound it a bit, then try to bull rush him to the rim straight through his chest to try to finish, or make him foul you. Because you know what's going to happen? You're going to end up with "Spalding" tattooed on your forehead. Some guys gotta learn the hard way; Cavs guard Jeremy Pargo went down that road tonight. Ballgame. Next time be smart and pass the ball to someone else, Jeremy...
4) In the third quarter, Heat play-by-player Eric Reid was discussing Mario Chalmers' quiet night, and he theorized, "Mario is still searching for the one thing that has eluded him in his first four seasons." An MVP trophy? "Consistency." Ohhhh. Yeah. Shoot - between thinking Chalmers was getting MVP support from Eric Reid, and hoping that we had an "Henri" in the league now, I really had a bit of an up-and-down night.
5) Back to the "up" part of my night: Ray Allen still leads "Hot Seconds With Jax," the halfti- errr, the game show that can be shown at any hour of the day or night, and probably when you least expect it! There were three episodes tonight: one in the pre-game (Bosh, didn't know anything about diapers, or, thankfully, the very annoying John Salley); one at halftime (Dexter Pittman, might have known the answers, but seems too shy to try to win); and, most nerve-wracking, James Johnson (as Ray calls him) in the post-game show. Ray clearly knew James Jones, an academic All-American at The U, was going to be one of his primary challengers in "Hot Secs" and his early-season ploy to get in his head by calling him "James Johnson" on national tv clearly worked. J.J. came close, but only notched an 8 when he couldn't name two more "hits" by Tony Toni Tone (none of them were big hits in Casa Minutos). So Ray still leads! But I have a complaint from M.Minutos directly to Jax, and his producer Mr. A.J. Speaks, about the show. She is angry - "furious" is probably a better word - that episodes are running in the pre and post-game shows, in addition to halftime. She's got two kids, she's getting a little older (even though, incredibly, she looks even better than ever - she's never been so fetching and alluring!), and by the end of the game she is tired and wants to go to bed. Not me, as soon as I finish this blog I'm heading out to Tobacco Road to meet UD. But M.Minutos wants "Hot Seconds" played at halftime, only. She points out that there are 82 games - besides February, when the players, Riles, and Zo read essays about important African-Americans (and, by the way, we all know they aren't all new every year), and sometimes some cooking shows when Joel Anthony makes jerk chickens tacos, or whatever, how many really important things do we have to do during halftimes? And, Jax, don't you remember "How To Be A Millionaire?" (Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? - whatever) Overexposure killed it, dude! Limit the "Hot Secs" a little, leave us salivating for more! You don't see KJ James going out and getting 50 every night - he just gives us a li'l taste, keeps us coming back for the next game to see what's up. You knowww...
6) Review: "Crazy, Stupid, Love." I know it came out a long time ago, but I just watched it last night - writing this blog takes a lot of time, sorry I'm so late with it. This film starred Ryan Gosling, some gorgeous skinny girl with crazy hot eyebrows (yes, I kinda like eyebrows, sooo sexy), and some other people, probably, I didn't really notice anyone else in it. The emotional high point of the movie came when Ryan Gosling took off his shirt and I- I mean, the girl in the movie- was absolutely spellbound by his chiseled physique, but I- I mean, she- didn't let it stop her from truly getting to know him and falling in deep love with his soul. The low point of the movie was when Ryan Gosling ended up with this girl, and not the one with the crazy hot eyebrows. What? What the hell kind of movie was this? Who directed this film? In what world would Ryan Gosling and the girl with the crazy hot eyebrows not end up together? That was heart-wrenching, it still hurts now, 24 hours later...Oh, how many stars? Are you high? 10 out of 10! Did you hear me: IT STARS RYAN GOSLING!!!
We just had a couple of nights off, and now we don't play again until Thursday! That is crazy, stupid, and I love it! Yeahhh, boyyy, see what I did there? Spurs, I think, Thursday, they're good. If you need me before then, I definitely won't be watching the shirtless Ryan Gosling scene over and over on an endless loop. I mean, there are a lot of things I might be doing before Thursday's game, I am a busy, busy man, but believe me, I can assure you, that I absolutely, positively will not be doing that! See you Thursday, Longhorns!