1) Well, we didn't win the championship yet..Let's not turn this into a referendum (M.Minutos' word - I am not sure what it means) on the team. It really is just one game, against a good team, on the road, with Dwyane Wade seeing his first game action since the end of last season...Let's just do what we do...For the first time this year, without no further ado...
2) Just so we all know where we stand, just so we don't get it twisted, just so we are all straight up and down, just so we are all "Plumber" (keeping it real), let's start the season off on the right note:
3) Okay. That being said: Dwyane Wade looked like a guy tonight who didn't play in the preseason. 4-16, with 6 turnovers. I guess it is fair to point out that he didn't play in the preseason. And he and LeBron looked completely out-of-sync with each other all night - watched each other dribble the ball, ran odd-angle cuts, and missed each other with ill-conceived, ill-timed passes. And still, when Wade hit a step back 3 with under two minutes to go, followed by a James drive, Miami trailed by only 3 with 1:10 left, after being down 18 early. On the road. Against a team that led Game 7 of the Finals last year going into the fourth quarter. Did Miami play well? No, they were pitiful. But they were right there - almost pulled the robbery, as The Sitch would say. I think it will probably get better.
4) Is it too early to hate Chris Bosh? Yeah, it is a little too early to hate Chris Bosh. Forget the 3-11 shooting - it can happen. But it was frustrating that he didn't defend the rim - at all. He didn't stand up to Kevin Garnett - save one first quarter drive and dunk - at all. And worst, with the Heat down 8, with 2 minutes to go, after Garnett had wrenched something on a wrong-footed, awkward jump hook, and the Heat came down and missed a jumper that careened out to the corner, Garnett hobbled after it like, well, like his new teammate Jermaino, and Bosh kind of half-heartedly ran past KG, reached down tentatively, and softly fumbled the ball and tripped out of bounds. Hey, ET-Head: get down on the damn floor and make a play! Jesus - not a good first night for Christopher.
5) The Heat had 9 points in the first quarter. Nine. That's not good. Just want it on the record, so when we look back at this later in the year, we can be, like, "Oh - we got better."
6) Okay, okay, okay - it's all okay, it's just one game, let's not let it get us down. Don't even trip. Let's move on to more important stuff...Read an inspiring news article online last week. Okay, I didn’t read it, but I did read the headline. It claimed that Clarence Thomas’ wife is now demanding an apology from Anita Hill for accusing Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment back in 1972, or whenever that case was. A long time ago, let’s just say. First: Clarence Thomas is married? Ewwww, creepy! White woman? Would have to be, wouldn’t it? Second: Anita Hill, apparently, refused to give the apology. Not only do I applaud her, but I am inspired by her. I would like to take this time to announce that I am not going to apologize for the 1992 incident in which my girlfriend at the time – let’s just her “J” – and I got into a big fight outside my parents’ house in Connecticut. J was late returning to pick me up – I don’t know what I was late for, but I am sure it was super-important – because she had been out picking up a pair of my shoes that I needed shined for a wedding that we were attending that evening. By the way: her friends’ wedding; not my friends. For some reason, I was outside when she got back, and as soon as she got out of the car we got into a big argument. Because, you know, I have always valued punctuality above all other virtues. Also, when a woman does you wrong like she was doing me, you have to tell her what’s what. So we were walking from the driveway to the back door – I didn’t grow up in a fancy house where the garage is connected to the house – still arguing, and she hands me the shoe box. She was claiming I was overreacting, but clearly I wasn’t, obviously, but because she said that, that made me get even angrier, and I suddenly hurled the shoe box as hard as I could in the direction of the house, and, believe me, I am a pretty good thrower. So shoes and box tops, etc, go flying everywhere in to the yard, and she is stunned, and I am feeling great, because I feel like I have finally made my point clear. We go inside, and after a little while, we both calmed down, and agreed to reconcile, and go to the wedding. So I go back out on to the lawn to get my shoes, and in picking them up, I realized she had put something else in the box with my shoes: Lenny Kravitz’ cd “Are You Gonna Go My Way.” And I felt bad – she knew that I loved his previous album, “Mama Said,” and she had tried to make me happy. It was especially thoughtful because she didn’t really like music at all – if I had to booty-booty her one more time while listening to her stupid, fake-hipster, white-bread Edie Brickell cd, it might have thrown me off of booty altogether…So, at the time, while I did thank her for the cd, I didn’t apologize for throwing it, along with the shoes. Why? Because I’m a man, and I did what I had to do..And reading the Anita Hill article the other day, it inspired me to still not apologize for that incident. You know why? Because “Are You Gonna Go My Way” sucked, and it was the beginning of the end for Lenny Kravitz. He never made an album anywhere near as good as “Mama Said” again. And by the way – guess what “Mama Said” is all about? That’s right – pain from bad relationships. Exactly- thought so. I still don’t apologize…
Right back at it tomorrow night in Philly - got to get rid of this funky stench. See u then...
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