6 Thoughts
1) What a bizarre game. The Heat decided to rest KJ James (preventative maintenance), and Chris Bosh is still on mandatory leave (over rebound quota); and they decided to play Dwyane Wade to, I suppose, maintain some semblance of order. When Wade dislocated a finger on his left hand three minutes into the game, KJ ran into the locker room to get taped up, but Coach Spo wisely decided to let the game go, essentially concede the number one seed to the Bulls, and start to prepare for the playoffs. Howwweverrr, Washington was so terrible that Mike Miller nearly won the game with one torrid late third quarter/early fourth quarter blitz, which is something that probably hasn't happened since he was playing at the Corn Palace in South Dakota. Both teams played atrocious basketball. Miami, because their three best players were out, and the Wizards because they haven't been good since Wes Unseld retired. In the end, Miami fell just a bit short, some of the playoff picture started to set itself, while other elements are in disarray, and the game was fairly entertaining in a "terrible basketball" kind of way. Let's zip through this - no one has offered me preventative maintenance yet, and I am exhausted...
2) Playoff picture - here's what we know: any Miami loss in the next three games (Houston, Boston, Washington), or any Chicago win (no idea - actually, I think they have two games left, and play Indiana once) makes Chicago the #1 seed, and Miami the #2 seed. The negatives: if Miami plays Chicago in the Eastern Conference Finals, Chicago gets an extra home game. They had it last year, but Miami won there twice. Also, the most likely #7 seed are the New York Knicks - that's the toughest possible first round opponent for a top four seed. The positives: most people would tend to think that Boston is better than Indiana right now, and the third best team in the East. They are locked in to the #4/5 spot, which means they play Chicago in the second round. Miami only plays the winner, if they beat the Knicks, and then Indiana in the second round. Also, it's still possible that Philadelphia could outplay the Knicks the rest of the season, and swipe the #7 from New York, making them Miami's first round opponent, which would be an easier matchup, on paper, for Miami. We'll see what happens. Wacky things can happen in the playoffs, and the route you thought was best turns out to be worst - but not usually, not in the NBA playoffs. Chalk is usually chalk...
3) Okay, Dwyane Wade dislocated a finger on his left hand about two minutes into the game. After the game, he said it is the first time he has ever done that. That seems amazing since I have done it a couple dozen times, and athletically Dwyane and I are very similar, obviously. I doubt we'll see him play in these next three games, so rust could be a problem, but if he's anything like me, which of course he is, his hand should be fairly good to go come the playoffs next weekend.
4) Listen, I think everyone here, I think we all agree that KJ James is a fantastic basketball player, and actually a pretty nice dude, but it isn't like we love him, luvvv him, like Dwyane or UD or Mike Bibby. It's kind of like the curse of being 6'8" and ridiculously talented. He's sooo far from being an underdog, it's hard to relate to him on a personal level. He's an overdog. But, every once in a while he will do something that kind of endears himself to us. Tonight when Dwyane got hurt and it was obvious he wasn't going to play anymore, after several minutes of watching Dexter Pittman as the focal point of the offense, backed by Shane Battioke trying to break guys down off the dribble despite the fact that he can't bend at the knees (we lead the league in guys with this affliction), KJ ran into the locker room to get taped up, even though he was not scheduled to play. And there he was, looking all ready to go in and try to help on his night off. Luckily, Coach Spo didn't press his luck with the basketball gods (David Stern and, probably, John Wooden), and never inserted KJ. After the game, Spo revealed that no one asked KJ to get taped, that he did it on his own to try to help. In his two years here, I really have never seen KJ do anything on a basketball court, or in general, that looked like he was doing anything but being a good teammate. Unless you count his constant yelling at Mario "Emcee" Chalmers, which I really don't, since everyone is doing that: KJ, Spo, UD, the fans, the refs. The only person who doesn't yell at Chalmers is Dwyane, since he's been with him the longest - he knows it isn't going to help anything.
5) UD was so, so terrible tonight. He had 15 rebounds in 29 minutes, but there were so many missed shots by these two teams that it was the equivalent of getting like 6 in a normal game. He did have a transition follow-dunk of a missed Chalmers layup to tie the game with 4 seconds to go, but I think he then missed the help assignment on the last play of the game when Nene scored to win it. Further, he kept receiving passes, barreling into traffic, and shooting the ball into peoples' armpits. So, so terrible, I love this kid so, so much, he is such a warrior, and he's my favorite basketball player of all-time - and frankly, he has to play because we don't have better options - but right now it is rough. Just rough. Come on, UD, we need you in these playoffs, boy...
6) So seven year old P.Minutos and I were out doing some errands today - that kid is a good sidekick, he's down for anything, once you pry him away from the gang of little kids that congregates in front of our house all weekend long. We hit the library, the market - you know, the usual. So, at one point we are at a red light, and the car in front of us is an old hearse which some kid has (seemingly) acquired, applied a sweet multi-layered red and black paint job on it (red on top half, black on bottom half), and then painted what I assume was the movie poster from the most recent Planet of the Apes movie - maybe called "Rise of the Planet of the Apes?" - on the rear of the car. Whatever it was called, the name of the movie was also painted right there on the back - there were apes, the name of the movie...that's what I'm saying, it was like the movie poster reproduced. I heard that film was pretty engaging, but I didn't see it - no need to, already seen the original one, starring the great, great Charlton Heston, over 100 times. I still contend, as vigilant readers of this blog would know, that the scene in which the apes are trying to capture Charlton Heston, and it takes them about 15 minutes to do so, even though there are like 150 apes, half of them on horseback; they have guns and nets; Heston is like 70 years old; and he's cornered in an area roughly the size of my kitchen, is the greatest movie scene of all-time. Heston is dodging to-and-fro like a geriatric Barry Sanders, and he keeps careening, like, directly at a camera, then looks right in the camera, realizes he's going to collide with it, and veers crazily out of the way. But I digress...So P.Minutos and I decide to pull up on the side of the Planet of the Apes car to see what kind of dude created this masterpiece, and, basically, he looked like L'il Wayne. Not even totally positive it wasn't L'il Wayne. It doesn't even matter - the point is, you are either ballin', or you're not ballin', and this kid was clearly ballin'. The end.
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Oh my God, I can't believe we have three more meaningless games I need to write about before the playoffs. Does anybody else want to take a turn? We're back tomorrow against Houston. If you need me before then, I'll be diagramming an escape route in case apes ever invade my kitchen. NRA Forever!!!
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