6 Thoughts
1) That looked like the Heat. I mean, it just looked like the Heat. A spunky Atlanta team came to town with the third best record in the East, hung with Miami for a half by making a bunch of long, late-in-the-clock jumpers, and then the Heat just choked them out and cruised in with an easy win. Miami shot 58% from the floor (the first Atlanta opponent over 50% all season) - KJ James and Dwyane Wade combined for 53 points on 22-29 (!), and Shane Battier and Norris Cole made 5 triples in 7 tries as the Heat went 9-21 from behind the arc. Most importantly, the defense stayed at it all night long, even when things didn't bounce their way, against a lot of quickness, and some significant size, The Heat aren't going to bring it every night, no matter how much you want them to. Not 'till the playoffs. But they brought it tonight and handled a good team that played pretty well. Rock solid win. Let it fly!
2) Highlights: well, there were quite a few highlights, and they all pretty much involved Mr. KJ James, who was fantastic - 27 points on 10-16 from the floor, 7 rebounds, 6 assists, and a couple of steals. He played with energy and pace. AND HE PUT ON A ONE MAN DUNK CONTEST, HE DUNKED THE CRAP OUT OF THE BALL ALL NIGHT LONG, GET OUT OF THE WAY ATLANTA HAWKS, THE CHOSEN ONE IS IN YOUR KITCHEN, AND HE IS GOING TO DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!...First quarter: Ray Allen tracked down a loose ball heading out of bounds, hurled it blindly back up behind him into the air, and former high school football star Norris Cole elevated in between Josh Smith and Lou Williams, came down with the ball, immediately turned and headed up court - pell mell - and was steaming in for an uncontested layup when he suddenly half-turned and dropped the rock to a rumbling KJ who nearly ripped the rim off its hinges! Second quarter: Mike Miller missed an open triple from the high left side but KJ, sprinting down the opposite baseline as Mil-lar released, leaped up from the right side, sailed across the lane, cupped the ball in his left hand as it floated away from the rim, and swung it back down through the iron with extreme aggression! Second quarter, again: Ray Allen politely deflected a Hawks runner in the lane, KJ grabbed the loose ball, took a dribble up court, then threw a forty foot one-bounce laser to a charging...okay, a sprinting...okay, a loping Mario Chalmers. Unfortunately, the pass was intended for Chalmers, but it was calibrated for Dwyane Wade, and it skipped 10 feet past Emcee, out of bounds...Only, NO! - as it was going out of bounds, it bounced off official Karl Lane's leg, and remained in play in the corner, where it was snatched up by Chalmers (yes, he was out run by the official on the play), who teetered on the edge of falling over the baseline in the corner momentarily before righting himself, looking up, and hitting the KJ James locomotive going by for a flying layup past a stunned Hawks team! Fourth quarter: L'il Lou Williams had a short, uncontested floater in the lane - or so he thought - when Joel Anthony flew in from behind, flicked the ball away from the rim towards the corner, Walter Ray tracked it down (again), immediately turned it up court to Norris Cole (again), who blasted pell mell down the left side towards the rim (like always), and when he got to the lane he saw KJ James running the right lane. Al Horford - Al Horford! - was sitting in the lane, and knew the lob was coming, and as Norris pushed it skyward Horford jumped and stretched, forcing Norris to arch it a little higher than he wanted to...And KJ went up, and up, and UPPPP, and cupped it in his giant right hand, arm extended, chest at the rim, AND TOMAHAWK-SPIKED IT DOWN THROUGH THE BASKET LIKE HEISENBERG HIMSELF, LIKE THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!! KJ JAMES IS THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!! AHHHHHHH - SEND IT HOME, BIG FELLA, SEND IT HOME!!!
3) The Atlanta Hawks, they aren't bad, they have a nice squad. They replaced old, slow, dribble-happy guards (the somnambulant) Joe Johnson and Kirk Hinrich with Lou Williams and Devin Harris, at far less cost. They are much quicker on the perimeter, they pass the ball more crisply, and the floorboards in Phillips Arena are lasting a lot longer without Johnson trying to pound a hole in them out on each wing. Are they a serious threat in the East? No, of course not, no team with Josh Smith as their best player is a threat to win anything, but for a half tonight they hung with Miami by scooting their guards into the paint, then finding shooters, or, ummm, at least DeShawn Stevenson and Josh Smith, out behind the arc for late triples - Stevenson quickly made four and Smith three before Atlanta cooled off. Or, got cooled off, because even as those guys knocked down frustrating three after frustrating three early, the Heat stayed at it on that end, they kept their defensive shape. Screen and rolls were forced back up top by aggressive hedges; drivers found themselves collapsed on; shooters were closed out on; entry passes were jammed; and plays at the rim, for the most part, were contested. After a hot start, Atlanta finished at 42% from the floor, with 14 turnovers and only 16 assists, and shot only 20 free throws - all areas where the Heat have struggled this season defensively. It helped that Joel Anthony has been reinserted into the rotation (18 minutes tonight), that Shane Battier is back from injury (coming off the bench for now as Spo searches for the right rotation), and Norris Cole is essentially splitting minutes with Emcee Chalmers - Norris is quicker, stronger, and more aggressive defensively - more pell mell - than Chalmers (Cole 23 minutes tonight, Chalmers 24). But Chris Bosh was also quietly effective - did a nice job on screen and rolls and grabbed 10 defensive boards, and Dwyane and KJ were conscientious about getting back on defense. Solid, solid effort - good to see they can still do it when they want to.
4) Well, the Heat have ignored the will of the people and continue to honor alleged former Heat players from pre-2003, when we all agree Heat history started with the drafting of Dwyane Wade. Tonight the honorees were Glen Rice and Steve Smith. If there is anything more bizarre than two buttoned-down white men - very, very white men - Heat announcers Eric Reid and Tony Fiorentino, repeatedly addressing a grown man in conversation as "G-Money" (prompting A.H.Minutos to text me calling that the highlight of the game, even on a night where KJ James had multiple spectacular dunks), it is when, for the third time in the past week, I've heard Eric Reid refer to the fact that he never got to see Steve Smith play in the Heat backcourt with Sherman Douglas (because the Heat traded Douglas) as "the one thing I really regret." Wow! I did eight things myself - today - that I regret more than any mediocre potential backcourt I never got to see play. Eric Reid has lived a charmed life if that is the one thing he really regrets. Gang, you know what I regret? The fact I didn't graduate from college on time because I was too busy practicing for my intramural basketball playoffs, and driving an Oldsmobile through campus in a high speed chase with the campus po-lice, like on the grass and in the quads and stuff - drunk - when I should have been studying. I regret that, that wasn't too smart. You know what Memphis Grizzlies play-by-play man Pete Pranica's biggest regret is? The time he thought he had a permanent Middle East peace treaty negotiated between Anwar Sadat and Benjamin Netanyahu, but then at the last second, through no fault of Paul Pranica's whatsoever, the agreement fell apart, and the Seven Year War broke out. For Eric Reid, though, no - he's haunted by never getting to see Sherman Douglas penetrate, kick it out to a wide open Steve Smith, and Smith clanging the triple off the back iron (he was a mediocre shooter, at best). Listen - we all have our demons...
5) Quick: what percentage of people in America do you think know who Jay Z is? I don't mean that they know all the words to the Black Album, or that they downloaded the mash-it-up by Danger Mouse off of Napster. I mean, just know who he is? My mom is a 70 year old-ish white lady who lives in Connecticut - I'm positive she knows who Jay Z is. I'd ask her right now if she didn't go to bed at 8pm every night. Now, what percentage of people who work in the music business in some way know who Jay Z is? All of them, right? Nope, not all of them. Turns out O.Minutos' guitar teacher, an otherwise normal-seeming 40ish white dude has never, ever even heard of Jay Z. "Should I have?" Ummm, yeah, kinda. Oh well, that's not even the point. The point is Jay Z, who owns a small piece of the New Jersey Nets, but really seems more like a Heat fan, was at the game with Beyonce tonight, sitting in the front row, and at one point the camera panned past them, and who was sitting right behind them, doing whatever - it kind of looked like he was staring at Beyonce's booty - but Miami Heat television host, and Dos Minutos icon, Jason Jackson! What were you doing back there, Jax? I assume he was trying to get an interview with Jay and his gal - if he did, I sped past it on the dvr. If they turned him down, how dare you Jay Z and Beyonce? Apparently you have never seen a little show called "Hot Seconds with Jax." I mean the real one, the game show, not one of the other fake, unsatisfying iterations of the "Hot Seconds" brand (by the way, not sure "iteration" is a word). Guess what, Jay? "American Gangster" sucked - what do you think about that? Yeah, that's right: holla, punk...You don't brush off Jax, that dude will murk ya...
6) "R.Minutos and Dos Minutos Texting Corner." A lot of people with a lot to say about my dinner with Gabrielle Union at South Street in the Design District on Saturday night, including R.Minutos.
Dos: We just ate dinner at south street in midtown. Gabrielle Union was there, i think she was feeling me.
R.Minutos: I met Gab at a sky box for a UM game. It was me, my friend TD, Gaby, and T-Boz. They thought it was our sky box and that they were crashing it. They were VERY accommodating. Then DWade showed up and ruined everything. True story.
Dos: Yeah, she told me about that. She said u never got back to her when she was texting u afterwards.
R.Minutos: She wouldn't send the naked pictures. Btw, she used to date Daniel Tosh so I can see why she liked you.
Dos: Oh, don't worry, she gave me plenty of naked pictures, ill let u check them out next time I see u.
Ummm, yes, I do have kids and a job. What is your point?
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Next game is Wednesday against the Golden State Warriors. The Golden State, ahhh, Oregon, I love it! If you need me before then, I'll be re-looping Jay's chorus from "Hard Knock Life" over some Robin Trower to try to convince O.Minutos' guitar teacher that there is a real person named Jay Z. See you on Wednesday, hip-hoppers!
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